Star Trek/Transformers Fanfic!

[oddly]

"Picard to away team, report."
"Energon here, we seem to have run into my arch enemy... Megatron!! Permission to kick his ass?"
"I'm afraid I can't allow that, old friend."
Energon frowns (which must be hard for a robot). "Whaddya mean I can't kick his ass?! We've got him out-numbered and out-gunned (surprisingly)!"
"Because, Energon," Picard said. "I can't allow you to kill my own creation!"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Energon yells.
Picard turned off the view screen. "Data, I need you to somehow launch an EMP or some kind of Photonic blast which will disable all those damnable robots down there. Before we have World War III on our hands!"
"Um, sir?" Data said. "World War III happened 700 years ago. It was on all the news, y'know? CNN did some special on it for a decade after the war was over."
Picard furrowed his brow. "And the ratings were through the rough. I remember now."
Data stared at Picard. "How could you remember? You're only 67."
"No, Data, my friend, I'm not 67. In fact, I've been living a complete lie. For you see, I am Jean Luc Picard the VAMPIRE!!"
Data then faints because he is a pansy whom I do not like.
"Perfect," Picard said. "Now I can drain him of his blood. And the rest of his bodily fluids. It's not like he will be needing them."
"Um... sir? We all just saw what you did and have a stake ready." Worf said, tapping Picard on the back.
"Ah yes, dinner. That's alright, Lieutenant Worf. As you can see I'm already eating."
"Not a steak, as in part of a cow. A wooden stake. With which to stab you in the heart."
Picard wiped the blood (among other fluids) off of his chin. "Oh. Right. So I'm guessing you'll be killing me then?"
"Right."
"If you must, just make sure you launch that EMP thingy or whatever bef- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!!!"
"Blech. What a mess," Worf said, pressing the button to do whatever Picard had said.
Then all the Transformer robots malfunctioned and needed to be rebooted (though no one did).

THE END?! Yeah, probably.

[InvaderKrag]

I'm quite speechless. All I can say for you, sir, is.....

"It is a good day to...di - ....be flamed." - Worf. Sort of.



jk, jk...you'd probably be idolized on ff.net.

[oddly]

Awww. I'd rather be flamed than idolized. Oh well, maybe next time.

[Carnivore]

Wait, Data was an android, he didn't HAVE bodily fluids.

[oddly]

He does now. Listen, I've barely even watched 10 minutes of the show ever. And if anyone asks, I did it because I'm a Sorcerer Level 1.

[Staizer]

well, battery fluids yes, but I don't think a vampire would like those much

"Why does this blood burn!?"

[EVILNess]

Wait, Data was an android, he didn't HAVE bodily fluids.

Or did he?

DUM DUM DUUUUM!

[oddly]

well, battery fluids yes, but I don't think a vampire would like those much

"Why does this blood burn!?"
Picard did enjoy it, he said it tasted like cotton candy.


Wait, Data was an android, he didn't HAVE bodily fluids.



Or did he?

DUM DUM DUUUUM!
I concur.

[Toe Nibbler]

Originally Posted by Staizer
well, battery fluids yes, but I don't think a vampire would like those much

"Why does this blood burn!?"


Picard did enjoy it, he said it tasted like cotton candy.


Originally Posted by EVILNess
Quote:
Wait, Data was an android, he didn't HAVE bodily fluids.





Or did he?

DUM DUM DUUUUM!


I concur.
Heehehehehehhehee.. I have de most quotes... But why do you hate Data so much? He's the coolest person on Star Trek.. By far. And I still think Shockwave wouldn't stand for no EMP. He'd bust out some pwnage. And Starscream's whiney voice would shatter the windows on the U.S.S. Enterprise... Robots CAN scream in space... Then, after teh windows were broken, and all the non transformers were dead, Megatron would turn into a suggestively small gun(Compared to his actual size) and Star scream would do it with him, and they become one uber transformer, and they'd rock the world. Then Shockwave's little mini bots would finish everything off. But Mirage would hide away from all that, and after it was all done, he'd hunt down the decepticons and kill them one by one predator style.


EDIT:If someone made a predator RP, I'd sure as heckfire join it.
RE-EDIT:Oops..I used a dirty dirty word. I didn't mean heckfire, I meant sugar.

[Meister]

Can you imagine a transforming enterprise though? Or, screw that, how about a transforming Borg race? The possibilities are endless.

[Staizer]

try to get into your car and it says "Resistance is futile. . ." That's just scary. The borg would multiply the Decepticons abilities one million fold.

[oddly]

But why do you hate Data so much?
Because he stole my idea for a sitcom.

Also I do not understand how this TV series can be considered the "next generation" of Star Trek considering there is no off-spring of Captain Kirk, Spock, or really anyone from the original show. If you answer that, please note that I've only ever watched 10 minutes of the show. I prefer the original better.

Wait... they are at least still flying the Enterprise, right?

Can you imagine a transforming enterprise though? Or, screw that, how about a transforming Borg race? The possibilities are endless.
No, I cannot imagine that. But it would probaby help if I knew what a Borg was.

EDIT: Oh, and should I write a sequel?

[Waylander]

Borg are these cyborg sorta things that infest humans and make em into sorta cyborgs and they travel around space in giant Cubes (dont ask me sounds like a lame ship design to me)

And Data was human at one point of the show i remember (or maybe the movie) but he decided not to be human maybe picard attacked him when he was human?

and also no offence intended but the whole transformer wars could be solved in an instant with emp so im gonna assume the they are EMP shielded its not that hard to do.

PS. if you make a predator RP i'll join for sure. IF you dont want to have to run it i'll either help or try to do it myself.

Edit: Someone correct me if im wrong i have a feeling i am

[EVILNess]

They are in the Enterprise D!

The Original Star Trek was the Enterprise B. And Enterprise C was destroyed by those Romulans while answering a Klingon Base Distress call. Enterprise A was that ship from that show on WB, Eterprise.

[JinDaYi]

A cube as spaceship design is a horrible design.

According to George Lucas, evil psychotic beings choose to have spheres.

Data became human in a movie I believe but he had to either be human by himself and everyone apart of the Enterprise die..or something like that...or be an android with the crew at his disposal (yes, HIS disposal). I don't remember the details..I might be delusional.

I don't remember in any of the many transformer series were they ever EMP resistant. Except I haven't seen the one of late...which involves little robots o_o?

I guess they call it "the next generation" due to it being the next ship labeled under "Enterprise"...not necessarily because the crew has an "advanced" Spock. Reminds me of Futurama >.>..

Assuming they were EMP resistant, a photon missle wouldn't kill them off, per se...not all of em >.>...maybe a few of those and perhaps we have a truth rolling.

And...and..i'm done...waking up and attempting to think is a "not happening" for me...x_x;;...food ><

Oh! Yeah, borg + transformers = evilest creation to ever spout "evil"....imagine their uber-l33t h4x0r cube that becomes a spheroid!! =O....brilliance....

[iddqd]

Oh! Yeah, borg + transformers = evilest creation to ever spout "evil"....imagine their uber-l33t h4x0r cube that becomes a spheroid!! =O....brilliance....
And it tries to kill you with more evil gometry. ;)

Isosceles triangle of death, anyone?

[oddly]

I think the series of Star Trek should've gone in a bit of a different direction. Specifically, Kirk should've died because of aids, Spock died because of ummm some Vulcan thingy, Bones should've died because he turned out to be a devote canibal and ate himself, Scottie should've married the ship for a brief amount of time then win a grammy and live with George Lucas, Oheearjaipiair however you spell it should've gotten brain cancer for using that damn cell phone so much, and everyone else just explodes.

It would've been a hit. Or a miss. Or a not-gonna-get-on-TV-at-all episode. Still, it's a great idea.

[Waylander]

Im just suprised that what i said was actually right i mean this came out of my auxilary auxilary memory banks far far in the past.

And in all seriousness a sphere is a good design for a ship because just about any weapons you put on it will have a full 180+ field of view and you wont have stupid wings or anything getting in the way. the only stupid thing is having "trenches" in it that enemy ships can fly along HOW F*^%ING stupid can you get (i mean apart from the age old "lets leave a giant hole that leads straight to our weak point")

And just to clarify i wasn't saying they were just that it would be stupid if they weren't i mean the length of the cartoon and how supossedly smart these transformers are and they dont think of making an emp gun? Must mean that they are shielded so a emp would do nothing. Not that im arguing with this story just pointing out a flaw in the transformers.

And has anyone thought about the Predator RP?

[oddly]

the only stupid thing is having "trenches" in it that enemy ships can fly along HOW F*^%ING stupid can you get (i mean apart from the age old "lets leave a giant hole that leads straight to our weak point")
It's obvious what happened, the Death Star's producers must've tooken some shortcuts to ensure they didn't waste too much money. Also considering the fact they eventually try and build another one obviously means that someone so very intelligent thought: "Hey, let's build two for the price of one!" And, since everyone on the council wasn't too bright (and the Stormtroopers didn't see anything wrong with it [cause we all know they were asked; have to keep those Stormtroopers happy!]) they built it using shoddy materials.

By the looks of the interior, it appears to be made of low-grade plastics and high-quality cardboard. Well, at least they didn't waste too much money when a dirt farming redneck who is somehow related to some guy (who is mostly robot) on the station, blows it up.

It's the way the world works! Or... worked. 'Cause it happened long ago, far, far away.

[Elminster_Amaur]

They are in the Enterprise D!

The Original Star Trek was the Enterprise B. And Enterprise C was destroyed by those Romulans while answering a Klingon Base Distress call. Enterprise A was that ship from that show on WB, Eterprise.I thought Kirk's crew was on A. Because I distinctly remember that C was destroyed after travelling forward in time, destroying the continuum and traveling back to die and fix it, and B was the "new" ship that Admiral Kirk was there for the maiden voyage of at the beginning of Generations.

I think that perhaps if the little ships inside could be transformers too, they'd be awesome.

[Death by Stabbing]

They are in the Enterprise D!

The Original Star Trek was the Enterprise B. And Enterprise C was destroyed by those Romulans while answering a Klingon Base Distress call. Enterprise A was that ship from that show on WB, Eterprise.


Ok ok ok I'll tell you how it went down:

in the Original Star Trek, Kirk, Spock, Scotty, Bones and Company were on the Ship NCC-1701 Enterprise. This ship was destroyed in the 3rd Star Trek movie because Klingons took it over and Kirk set the self destruct on and then took over the Klingon's bird of pray.

In Star Trek 4 (incidentaly my personal favorite of the Star Trek films) They save the day and then at the end they are given command of the newly built ship NCC-1701-A Enterprise.

After the 6th Star Trek movie the Enterprise A is retired

Enterprise B is the one at the begining of Star Trek: Generations and later it too is retired

Enterprise C was destroyed when it went in time or something like that. The Story of the Enterprise C is covered in the Next Generation episode "Yesterday's Enterprise" (I think that was the name...)

Enterprise D was the one from Next Generation

It was destroyed in the movie Star Trek Generations

Star Trek First Contact introduced us to the Enterprise E

and that brings us up to current continuity

That is the story of the Enterprise.

Love,
Death by Stabbing