The Sword of a King

[Derek R.]

I went to my local sword and armor store to purchase the "Shards of Narzul" (You know, Aragorn's new sword)for my collection only to discover that it went up 180 bucks in price! Why? I asked through gritted teeth. Because there only making 5000 of these babies. Anyone have any money I can borrow? heh

[Demon with a Glass Hand]

I would totally give you the money if I hadn't already bought Walt Disney's head for my collection.

Apparently they only froze one on those babies ...

[Dante]

The Shards of Narsil? Why not get Anduril? If you want the shards you can always break it again...

[Derek R.]

Demon: Your comment fills me with envy.

Dante: Your comment fills me with hammer weilding inspiration. Or perhaps I'll simply hunt down a Dark Lord and have him break it whilst I fight him in single combat. Eh?

[GatoFiero]

Wha? The dark lord lives?!

Glory to the hord! There is still hope yet for the orcs!

[BMHadoken]

Why not get a stick, break it into twigs, then trade the guy your 'Parts of Gandalf's Staff' for the 'Shards'...then run and laugh

[cruelty13]

I don't belive I'd buy a teapack, just because of my collection, if it is worth 180$. Besides, about the borrowing thing. You can never guess, which one of us... is a mass murderer.........

[Derek R.]

Gato: No No calm down! Hey come back here! It never fails, you talk about the Dark Lord and he's all giggles.

BM: Your a genius. Pure and simple.

Cruelty:Oh thats easy, we all are.

[a black mage]

i myself would prefer the Witch King's sword............you think HE is still alive?

[Dante]

I want the Witch King's FLAIL. you know, big smashy swingy thingy...

[Derek R.]

Yes Yes, the Flail was beautiful!

[Dante]

Too bad WK was so dumb. "No man can defeat me!"

That is just asking for Eowyn's comeback...

[Raiden]

I was hoping that Aragorn was going to kill him. They took enough liberties with the story, they could have at least done that.

My question is. The guy has a kick-ass sword, and a huge flail, and yet he just stands there and lets the girl stab him in the face. It makes me wonder about the calibur of wraiths Sauron is hiring now adays...

[Forever Zero]

*sign says* Dark Lord Sauron's Ring Wraith Tryouts, all will be considered. Please make sure to bring own armor and evil weaponry.

Garland looks at sign and says, "Ohh, the position for Witch King is still open, I wonder if I could stand a chance to get it..."

I think we all know where this storyline is going...

[Darth SS]

It's kinda' funny.

Huge evil dude has helped knock down Osgiliath, scare the shiat out of hundreds of people, and almost handed the world to Sauron when he stabbed Frodo with that Morgul Dagger.

And then he gets done in by a girl and a hobbit.

[Forever Zero]

Don't forget one of the worst lines over. I think the sword was just a symbolic blow, and the Witch King was actually killed when he heard Eowyn's retort.

[Derek R.]

Well he was asking for it.

[a black mage]

accualy, you guys arn't getting it. the phrase "no man can kill me" was a phrofecy. but the Witch King didn't really belive in it, he thought that he was just unstoppable. but no man could kill him, if Aragorn tried he would have failed, in fact swords and stuff would shatter on contact with him. accualy those two almost died in the book from just touching him.

[Dante]

I think *you* aren't getting it, ABM.

[Derek R.]

*flails ABM in between words* No..*crunch*..More..*thwak*..Of..*shatter*..Your.. *smash*..Brilliant..*slam*...Logic....! *waits to hear the gurgle*

[Raiden]

*they hear a gurgle, and turn to see Raiden with his mouthwash.*

What?

Hey, why did you beat that guy with a flail?

*he reaches behind his back, and pulls out a glowing sword.*

You STAB annoying geniuses. You don't beat them.

*Raiden then stabs into ABM, with extreme prejudice.*

[a black mage]

well, crazy as you people are, i think you should read the book before you judge one of my favorete charicters besides Radagast the brown, and Tom Bombadil.

[Dante]

Hoo boy... I don't know if you intend it, but everything you say just makes me want to inflict pain and suffering upon you. Nothing personal agaisnt you; I never really liked either of them.

[a black mage]

yeah, i get that allot. but most people like old Tom and Radagast.

[Raiden]

You get it a lot, huh? Do they use flails, or swords? I'm still deciding which one to use on you.

[Forever Zero]

You already used a sword, but the Witch King's flail was much cooler anyway, so I would suggest that.

[Raiden]

*Raiden shrugs, and tosses the sword to the side. He then starts to spin the flail around.*

Here we goooOOOoooOoOOO! Slow down!

*Raiden slowly floats off the ground, because the flail has become a portable helicopter.*

Pull me down! Pull me down!

[Forever Zero]

*Contemplates how far from the original topic this thread has gone, but throws sword and snaps the flails chain anyway to stop Raiden's ascent, sending him plummeting to the ground. Then decides it would make sense for anything in the RP fourm to turn into an RP eventually with the group that hangs around here*

[Raiden]

*Can somehow sense what Forever is thinking, and mentally agrees that everything in this forum will eventually become RP-like. His hands then glow with electricity.*

I already used a sword, and that flail is crap, so I'll just zap you.

*Aims, and then sends 16,000 volts of electricity running through ABM's body.*

[Darth SS]

*sighs as he watches this*

Someone's gonna' have to clean this up....

[Dante]

Bah, amateurs.

ZARZARD ZARZARD Sakurolo... In the darkness of Hell...awaken, fire of Hell. Be my sword and destroy my enemy. VENOM!

*Target melts*

[a black mage]

"wow, you people are nuts" he says as a girl tries to melt him, then leaves "i still suggest reading return of the king however" he says before shutting the door.

[Derek R.]

Well I went and bought it anyway. I'm one of the lucky ones I suppose.

[Raiden]

Dumb ass. I hope it was worth all that money.

[BMHadoken]

Ha ha...hmm...

*Grabs Splinters of Gandalfs staff...
****THREE HOURS LATER***
Derek's remains are found upwards of 60 miles away...*

[cruelty13]

180 Dollars for basicly a piece of iron you have absolutely no use for and in your 40's will regret. You lucky person, you!

[Raiden]

*Derek is in his late 90s, and is on his death bed while holding the shards of the sword in his arms.*

Yes, my dearies. You made my life grand. Of course, after buying you I couldn't afford food, or my rent. I began to live out in the street, my girlfriend took me to the Cosplay, then dumped me because I brought you preciouses instead of a big Auron sword, and then I lost my job, because I could only think of you, and the metal you're made of gave me cancer, and I lost my hair, and children laugh at me as I walk by. But still, you made my life great. Oh, I feel so alive holding you dearies....

*and then he dies.*

Sad, isn't it? :confused:

[Dante]

The story of your life, Raiden?

*Ducks various streams of lightning*

[Darth SS]

*sighs* This is gonna' be a bitch to clean up...

*gets a mop and a broom and starts cleaning up*

[Derek R.]

Legacys are born through such weapons. Besides, when I'm 90 buying a sword is most likely the LAST thing I'll regret. heh

[Dante]

A the very least you can sword some stupid kid who comes running to you with his new action figure...

[Derek R.]

A man after my own heart.

[BMHadoken]

Or rule the old-folks home with the sword...he he, old people...

[Dante]

*BM's on his horse in his Minas Tirith armor, with Anduril by his side, addressing a group of old geezers in Minas Tirith armor*

"The day may come *koff* when the c-*kof*-cour*kof*age of men fails *wheeze* and we forsake our friends, and break *koff* all bonds of fellowship. *pant pant*

But it is not this *hack* day.

This day, we fight!"

*Raises sword, loses balance, falls off horse*

"Ow! My brittle old man hip!"

[Forever Zero]

*Oldy McOlderson, also known as Robo-Geezer, who is in the audience, points and laughs, then wanders off and slays all the orcs single handedly, complaining about "uppity kids these days, thinking they can defeat a robotic enhanced super geezer"*

[Dante]

300'000 plus Uruks plus god knows how many champions plus Ringwraiths and the Mouth of Sauron?

Cool.

[Forever Zero]

That's Oldy for you. He would have taken on Sauron as well, but he needed to take a nap first, and by the time he was done, the ring was destroyed taking Sauron with it.

[Dante]

Heh. Never rely on old geezers to save the world... But wiping out large enemy forces before bedtime is right up their alley.

Have you noticed that no old geezer EVER saves the world?

[Forever Zero]

Umm... Hmm... Actually, I can't think of one. Hah, Oldy is the original!

[Dante]

Dark Schneider is 400 years though, but he sure as hell ain't no old geezer..

*Is beaten up by LWM and Celes for talking about DS even though he promised in the Comics thread never to brag about him again*

[Raiden]

*laughs at Dante, because he never really made a promise about that.*

[Dante]

NOOOO!!!!

But I must honor my pledge to my ladies...

[Raiden]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA! But I don't!

*Raiden puts his hands into symbols, and yells out words to gather power.*

"MIDIE ETERNAL IDOL ... ARLANDO HORMORBUI ... ABASEDIE ETERNAL IDOL ... HEAVEN and HELL ... DIOMIGIZAIROSHI ... BLAGOZAHAS!!!! "

[Dante]

And you stole that right from me... No... must resist...

*Morphs into Kall-Su*

Lui Eri Gre Skolbilly! My soul purified upon a black-blasted frame - Dark King, be unto me!, I wear a frozen storm of death in my body, the power of ice and snow gathering to be released - NOW! TESTAMENT!

[Raiden]

Well then, you shouldn't have given it to me.

*A large sphere gathers around Raiden, and testament is pushed aside of him, freezing the ground and area around. Raiden smiles.*

DEEP! DOOMSDAY!!! Spirits of heaven and earth, fullfill your obligation! MEGADEATH!!!!!!!

[Dante]

As if that was even effective to begin with...

Five beards of earth summons, five beards of fire summons, five
beards of water summons, and five beards of wind summons, to the Great
King-God, I enclosed four of the five beards, enumerates flame,
descends from the sixth beards of heaven and the power giving to me.

ANAI ALEID!

*Megadeath dissipates harmlessly around a large vacuum, which then proceeds to fly at Raiden, transfroming into millions of razor-sharp blades*

[Raiden]

*The vortex of blades consumed Raiden, and he lay on the ground in many pieces. Dante felt a little relief, until Raiden's deep laughter filled the area. When they looked to where Raiden's body had fallen, they saw nothing. Raiden appeared to the side, with his eyes glowing red.*

"Did you honestly think you could kill me? You forgot a basic rule of combat, Dante! You're the ugly macho bad guy. The macho bad guy can't win, especially when going against the handsome and popular main character! Your defeat was decided when you appeared with that ugly face!" Raiden closed his eyes, and put his hands together.

“Burning in the depths of the pits of darkness, let the fires be my sword and smite my foe! VENOM!" Raiden points his index and middle finger at Dante. A large flame surrounds him, and begins to eat away his flesh.

[Dante]

Macho bad guy? Kall-Su is like this: http://www.projectbag.com/bastard/thumbnails/kall_su01_t.jpg

In any case...

*Dante immediately boosts into the air through his own version of Raven, then regenerates himself with the power of Ansla-Sax*

"Bernard Wal Tar Wernard Reecha! Water, fill the spirit energy,
for my enemy, thine is an enemy. AX SEEZ!"

*A three headed water dragon sprouts from the ground and starts vomiting icy breath at Raiden*

[Raiden]

Hey, it's a good line. I didn't want to pass it up.

Now, back to the fight at hand...

*Raiden casts Raven also, and flies into the air. The dragons continue to vomit ice at him.*

"Sodom!" A ball of magic is in his hands, and he then lashes out, slicing the heads of the dragons.

[Dante]

DANZIG!

*A shield of ice appears in front of Dante, reflecting the airblades back on Raiden*

[Demon with a Glass Hand]

"Sodom!"

Personally, if I had to cast or incant a powerful spell, I would stay as far away from "Sodom" as possible. Too close to 'Sodomy.' Do you really want to be remembered for obliterating your opponent with 'Sodomy?'

I personally wouldn't. Unless you could prove to the jeering masses that you couldn't possibly have sodomized your opponent to death. But that could only mean one thing, Raiden ...

You're not a Eunich, are you?

[Raiden]

*Glares at Demon with glowing red eyes.*

"How dare you call me that! I'll show you!" Raiden puts his hands together, and yells out his spell.

"Para-Nudo-ii Furmo Blooru. Never say die, Eter Nal Idol, heaven's hell. Py-omi Giza-oji!" A large beam goes shooting at Demon, obliterating him.

[Demon with a Glass Hand]

I've posted enough spam here. I'm going to take my healthy heaping dose of obliteration and leave this topic but a memory.

Pleasent or otherwise ... :D

[Raiden]

You just took all the fun out of obliterating you.

God, there's no point in these DS fights unless Dante is here.

[Derek R.]

The Sword of the King sure is neat. What a great topic that was.

[Raiden]

So, what have you done with your sword shards exactly?

Did you put them in a viewing case above the fire place, or something?

[Derek R.]

No viewing case, though I do plan to set them on my bookcase once I get the rest of my swords and effects from storage. I just moved so I need to get my "chambers" looking eccentric and nerdy again.

[Dante]

Mail me a sword! I need swords to discourage the salesmen! That,a nd a couple of head-pikes would be good too.

[Derek R.]

You should buy them yourself. You'll love them more that way. Like children.

[a black mage]

walks past and hears them still talking "is there even a point to this anymore? the thread was about you getting a sword and you got it" then relizes it dosen't matter and leaves.