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CheshireThief
01-16-2006, 02:01 AM
Well, I write songs, as I am an aspiring musician. Anyway, I've been playing around with making my style sound a bit different from song to song, and I wanted to post a song I wrote today, actually, to see what everyone thinks. It's not quite complete, as I believe I should add a bit more guitar in there. Maybe an intro picked out part and/or a solo or something.

Two Shots (http://randomwebsiteofdoom.com/cheshirethief/music/twoshots.mp3)

Yeah. It's a bit darker and sad-sounding compared to most of my music. Lyrics, anyone?

The bitter feelings that you've tasted
Of emptiness and the life you've wasted
You thought you loved, but you really hated
It all gets so damned complicated
But I'm now coming as a friend
If you act now, regret the end
I want to help you comprehend
What is real and what's pretend

Two shots and a family broken
Lost memories left unspoken
What's lost this day is never found
Two shots to a broken home
On your knees, you're all alone
The instrument of undoing hits the ground...

Your blood-shot eyes are blankly staring
You're growing numb, you're so uncaring
Your inner demons now are tearing
Through the concealment of the mask you're wearing
I came to you then as a friend
You did it until the very end
Why could you not comprehend
What was real and what's pretend?

Two shots and a family broken
Lost memories left unspoken
What's lost this day is never found
Two shots to a broken home
On your knees, you're all alone
The instrument of undoing hits the ground...

Your life had and has no meaning
A broken man with a broken mind,
A broken body, a broken life
Your life had and has no meaning

Two shots and a family broken
Lost memories left unspoken
What's lost this day is never found
Two shots to a broken home
On your knees, you're all alone
The instrument of undoing hits the ground...

Two shots and a family broken
Two shots and a family broken
Two shots and a family broken
Two shots to a broken home

Well, then. What do you think?

Fifthfiend
01-16-2006, 02:12 AM
It's no 'hey-a', is all I have to say.

Mondt
01-16-2006, 02:25 AM
Wow. That is why I will never be able to write lyrics. I mean, when it has to have meaning that is. But really. Sounds cool.It's no 'hey-a', is all I have to say.That too.

CheshireThief
01-16-2006, 02:26 AM
It's no 'hey-a', is all I have to say.

I'm trying to get out of that style. Being Andre 3000 gets dull after a while. I mean, I can't eat meat!

Funka Genocide
01-16-2006, 04:38 AM
I think maybe if you recorded the vocals on a seperate track from the guitar your voice wouldn't get overpowered.

maybe

The Wizard Who Did It
01-16-2006, 03:40 PM
Very different from most of your songs. It also seems like sometimes that your guitar overshadows the lyrics. This may personal preference, but I don't think that's a good thing.

It's pretty nice. Keep at it.

Fenris
01-16-2006, 05:42 PM
o,O

Not what I would expect from you, Cheshire.

The quality is superb.

The style is unusual for you.

Me likes!