YACC CROP IMP or "What? No, I mean it. What?"

[DFM]

I must be a genius to come up with these things.

http://img437.imageshack.us/img437/1309/cc16yq.png

http://img231.imageshack.us/img231/796/cc22pl.png

http://img217.imageshack.us/img217/5572/cc34qf.png

http://img217.imageshack.us/img217/8874/cc40gf.png

http://img480.imageshack.us/img480/8947/cc51pa.png

http://img424.imageshack.us/img424/862/cc69iy.png

http://img480.imageshack.us/img480/3056/cc79tv.png

http://img480.imageshack.us/img480/900/cc87qh.png

http://img211.imageshack.us/img211/662/cc91km.png

As a Bonus, here's me when I finally "Beat" that stupid game:

http://img211.imageshack.us/img211/6052/beat8gl.png

http://img390.imageshack.us/img390/3473/cc102ut.png

http://img390.imageshack.us/img390/9510/cc118tb.png

http://img390.imageshack.us/img390/5489/cc120oz.png

http://img211.imageshack.us/img211/7464/cc137mb.png

http://img235.imageshack.us/img235/3051/cc145gz.png

http://img379.imageshack.us/img379/1826/cc158rc.png

I showed these to a friend and he said I needed a break from the internet.

[Krylo]

Some of those are absolutely hillarious. The rest are just confusing.

I approve.

[Fifthfiend]

Clearly the "WTF" meter has been dialed up to 10... and then all the way up to ELEVEN!

[MasterOfMagic]

I showed these to a friend and he said I needed a break from the internet.I agree that you need to cut down on something. I'm not sure we're talking about the internet though....
Obviously its genius! I mean: "HAPPYCAT!!" *nod nod* pure genius.

[Mondt]

Clearly the "WTF" meter has been dialed up to 10... and then all the way up to ELEVEN!Ehh, I was thinking more like 14.5 but whatever :yarr:

[DFM]

Two more for your viewing pleasure! Today’s episode: References.

http://img69.imageshack.us/img69/1362/cc166zg.png

http://img69.imageshack.us/img69/544/cc170bi.png

Even better, we’ve got another peer review for your gentle ears!

Friend: What the fuck?

DFM: Is that good or bad, my faithful friend?

Friend: I’m not saying if it’s good or bad I just want to know what the fuck.

[Fifthfiend]

Ehh, I was thinking more like 14.5 but whatever :yarr:

I think he must have snapped the dial right off of the console.

[DFM]

Some may understand what I have done, but even they are doomed to die. Our lives from death we cannot run, no matter how hard we try.

http://img453.imageshack.us/img453/5438/cc190kv.png

http://img128.imageshack.us/img128/9336/cc209to.png

http://img140.imageshack.us/img140/5438/cc217ok.png

http://img140.imageshack.us/img140/9162/cc223hr.png

[Fifthfiend]

http://img453.imageshack.us/img453/5438/cc190kv.png

I like it, it's topical.

[Major Blood]

DFM... your comics confuse me in a way i've never been confused before.

[DFM]

http://img229.imageshack.us/img229/5439/post24mi.png

[BlackMageGirl!]

Bwah? @@

I'll admit, the "YOU'D BETTER UNFUCK YOURSELF SOLDIER!" had me in stitches.

[Fifthfiend]

http://img229.imageshack.us/img229/5439/post24mi.png

Boy, you just got some shit goin' on, don't you?

[Dark Seraphim]

Friend: I’m not saying if it’s good or bad I just want to know what the fuck.


-----
I think we have a clear case of either an excess or deficency of drugs... :sweatdrop

[phil_]

That is just odd, DFM. Is there any explaination as to why you chose to add bizarre illustrations to a seemingly random post, or are you just trying to make our heads "as'plode?"

[DFM]

http://img103.imageshack.us/img103/2931/post38di.png

[MotasMan]

I can only say that the twisted mind that makes these things up, may just be twisted enough that he can fuction for years in normal society before they catch him. I just hope to be nowhere around on the day that they do.

[DFM]

phil_:

Sorry, but I don't think I can answer that without loosing my aura of mystique.

MotasMan:

Skulls for his skull throne.

[POS Industries]

That is just odd, DFM. Is there any explaination as to why you chose to add bizarre illustrations to a seemingly random post, or are you just trying to make our heads "as'plode?"

It goes beyond that. It's one of his old posts. Opens a whole new door of interpretation wide open, doesn't it?

heehee.... "this isn't paint what the hell"

[Lucis]

Do I smell a Deus Ex reference? (http://img424.imageshack.us/img424/862/cc69iy.png) I believe this is a quote from the intro cinema.

"Aquinas spoke of the mythical city on the hill. Soon, that city will be a reality. And we will be its kings.

Or better than kings. Gods."

DFM, I applaud your insanity. Stuff like this is one of the few things that give abyss-spawn like me the warm fuzzies.

[Mondt]

In recent news, I snuck into the safe-house where the WTF meter was stored. I then proceeded to dial it up until I could understand what was happening in DFM's comics. I also believe I broke my brain.

[Goblinardo]

Just... just no.

*head asplodes*
*thumbs up*

[Mirai Gen]

Alot were funny. The Microsoft Word one was my favorite.

[POS Industries]

Also, just to record them in the appropriate thread, here's the resulting discussion between DFM and myself when I asked him about the mysterious origins of his avatar...

Okay, but I'm not being paid to make a graphic novel here so I'll just sum up the most important parts of the story.

http://img163.imageshack.us/img163/5144/cc184dz.png
DFM, I now completely understand....

But knowing the truth, is it really right for me to let the world continue to exist?
I'm glad you understand the main themes I was trying to convey. I was worried at first that it might be a little hard to follow so I added the narrative captions to give the story a somewhat better flow from a purely theatrical point of view. As to your question, an answer, if I may:

http://img228.imageshack.us/img228/3428/stephen67iq.png

[DFM]

Don’t forget, POS, your avatar at the time was Schrödinger’s cat. That is another layer of the mystery.

[Fifthfiend]

Just as a suggestion, and I can't imagine why it took me so long to notice, but the Tale of the Avatar would be immeasurably improved were panel one, in lieu of reading "CAT EXPLODES," were instead to read "KITTY ASPLOOODES!"

Think about it.

Wow, it is so one AM.

[POS Industries]

Don’t forget, POS, your avatar at the time was Schrödinger’s cat. That is another layer of the mystery.

And the one before that was President Lex Luthor, which also calls in the Superdickery "Bitch Slap a Jap" reference. Panel three even potentially recalls that time that I stole fifthfiend's "WOO TITTIES!" line for my user title...

.....my god, could it be that I'm Stephen?

[PLAY DRAMATIC ORGAN CHORD HERE]

[DFM]

I spoke to Death the other day. He says you better get your act in gear.

Two more episodes today, because this is a comic thread and we need to get back on track.

Oh, and Stephen, nice job uncovering your true name. The path was difficult, but not impossible. I’m glad to see you made it through, and I hope it serves you well in the future.

http://img423.imageshack.us/img423/8217/cc232zc.png

http://img481.imageshack.us/img481/6759/cc243cj.png

That face is real.

[MasterOfMagic]

Awww, we need some with happy endings now. :(

And, damn my curiousity, but I just HAVE to wonder whats wrong with "her" legs.

[DFM]

http://img117.imageshack.us/img117/4821/gh393pa1et.jpg

[Fifthfiend]

Awww, we need some with happy endings now. :(

And, damn my curiousity, but I just HAVE to wonder whats wrong with "her" legs.

Oh man, was that ever a stupid question to ask.

[DFM]

Oh man, was that ever a stupid question to ask.

And how! You see the picture and you think "Well, that's cute." Then you notice the legs. You see. Then you look at the rest of the picture, and everything has changed. It is now a portrait of a cold and terrible hell.

[POS Industries]

...and I was never happy again.

Dammit.

[MasterOfMagic]

>.< Goddamnit. You didn't have to indulge the curiousity. I didn't ASK, just stated that I was wondering.

I bet you help the little kiddies get hold of those shiny kitchen knives too, don't you? DON'T YOU!?

[Lucis]

I bet you help the little kiddies get hold of those shiny kitchen knives too, don't you? DON'T YOU!?
That's my job. Every kid needs to learn the hard way that there's reasons why parents say that you shouldn't do certain things.

DFM, your brain is so evil. I thoroughly approve. Keep the insidiously spontaneous wit coming. I'm going to see about getting your humor labelled as a necessary evil, that way everyone has to experience it.

[DFM]

http://img90.imageshack.us/img90/1896/post34zx.png

Well, thank you, Lucis. I'm flattered.

[MasterOfMagic]

Yeah, well, I'm still waiting on my happy ending. Hopeless optimism is best.

[DFM]

Today's Issue: Granting Requests!

http://img409.imageshack.us/img409/166/cc257jm.png

http://img127.imageshack.us/img127/2761/cc263sa.png

Well, he's happy, you picky bastards.

[MasterOfMagic]

*nod nod* I can now approve of this. Its still hard to come in here with that...thing waiting though.

[DFM]

I like to think of it as a surprise for new comers.

A sexy surprise.

[MotasMan]

I like to think of it as a surprise for new comers.

A sexy surprise.

We now see why it will be a better world when you die without an heir.

Great work though, keep pumping out the comics, no children though...

[DFM]

We now see why it will be a better world when you die without an heir.

How 'mbout I shove my glock up in yo' grill?

Last weeks theme was narration. This weeks theme is big red letters.

http://img455.imageshack.us/img455/7711/cc273pa.png

http://img467.imageshack.us/img467/7903/cc288yu.png

[CallmePrismatic]

Wait...did she have five penises between the two normally eye-associated holes (like two penises in the right and three penises in the left, or one penis compared to four penises or what have you), or were there five penises per hole, resulting in a total penis count of 10 penises?

[DFM]

She's got penises coming outta' her eye sockets, Marty McBigWords.

[Ferix Stader]

This topic has brought the love of Jesus (and Cthulhu) into my heart again. I thank you deeply for this gift.

[POS Industries]

There. This thread is officially linked to on my MySpace page. I even gave it a banner and everything!

I won't rest until the whole world is as horribly scarred by this as I am.

[MasterOfMagic]

She's got penises coming outta' her eye sockets, Marty McBigWords.
I guess reading comprehension can't be expected of one who's devoted his intellectual power to....this stuff.

I must say though, I'm enjoying this week's theme. Eye(/penis) catching, it is.

[DFM]

Everyone loves me, I feel loved. :cool:


I guess reading comprehension can't be expected of one who's devoted his intellectual power to....this stuff.

Stop flamin' da comic, prep! >:O

http://img20.imageshack.us/img20/3272/stephen67iq6qg.png

Fuck, I am stealing this so hard. Thanks, POS!

[Lucis]

I'm probably going to regret asking this, but right now I'm too funky-feeling to care. DFM, what's your inspiration?

[DFM]

Sigmund Freud

http://img425.imageshack.us/img425/5044/sigmund7hf8cy.gif

Sorry I don't have a real answer. I thought this would be funnier, anway.

[MasterOfMagic]

And indeed it was.

Stop flamin' da comic, prep! >:O
All I said was that it required your full attention! Whether or not it still came out in some horribly mutated fashion was up to your own brain.

So, you don't like your own comic!? For shame.

[Mondt]

OK, dare I ask what YACC CROP IMP is? Or am I going to be called horribly ignorant for this?

[Lucis]

Sigmund Freud

Oh, him? I always preferred Carl Jung (http://www.theorycards.org.uk/card19.htm), myself. Freud's got his cool points though.

No real answer? That's OK. Some questions can't be answered, and your joke rocked, as far as I'm concerned.

[DFM]

OK, dare I ask what YACC CROP IMP is? Or am I going to be called horribly ignorant for this?

I'll give you a hint and say it's not something you just have to know.

Here's some new episodes.

http://img55.imageshack.us/img55/902/cc294ah.png

http://img409.imageshack.us/img409/9295/cc304uq.png

[Lucis]

The little girl playing with Sally needs to learn that if you suspect a poltergeist, leave it the hell alone. Seriously, your best bet when dealing with an object that seems to move of its own accord when it shouldn't be capable of it, is to not touch or look at it; just call an exorcist and walk away. Unfortunately, she's now seen the empty, bleeding sockets of ultra-disturbingness, and if horror movies have taught me anything, that means she's as good as dead. Oh well, here's hoping her karma was good prior to death.

I guess it's a necessary evil - if everyone who encountered disturbing spirits, psychotic people, and ancient evil relics used common sense in how they reacted, we wouldn't have much of a horror movie, would we?

[POS Industries]

Fuck, I am stealing this so hard. Thanks, POS!

Happy to be of service! And I'm so stealing that panel of Sally for my avatar later on.

EDIT: I made a new normal banner-sized banner. Smaller, more compact, for all your day-to-day advertising needs!

http://www.geocities.com/spaztronaut/YCI_bannerhappy.jpg

[The Wandering God]

This reminds me of nothing so much as PBF (http://www.thepbf.com/).

And that's a compliment, by the way. If you hate that strip for some reason... Well I doubt you hate it. Then again, stranger things have happened.

Like tuna.

The Wandering God

[Jared Todd]

This comic is much, much more funny. DFM is awesome. Much like some people I know. ... what? Don't look at me!

[MasterOfMagic]

Says the man with a pbf avatar. You really like this comic better?

Show it. :|

[Fifthfiend]

PBF actually has sort of an underlying comedic logic and theme to it. A lot of it is just contrasting the innocent with the profane and the sincere and serious with the silly, or to put it another way, it takes the fantasy of a world in which we all to one extent or another want to believe and imposes on that world the rules of our own harsh reality.

YACC CROP IMP is just... I'm not saying there's not some sort of underlying rhyme or reason, I'm just saying whenever I try to figure out what that reason is, my fucking eyes start bleeding.

[POS Industries]

So.

"Yacc Crop Imp" is an anagram for "Crappy Comic". Neat!

[The Wandering God]

So.

"Yacc Crop Imp" is an anagram for "Crappy Comic". Neat!
Quickly, he's figured out the code. Silence him!

Actually I was going for the sheer nonsensical-ness of PBF.

This is much more like a very bizarre version of Goofus and Gallant.

The Wandering God

[POS Industries]

Quickly, he's figured out the code. Silence him!

I regret nothiiiiiing!!!! *crashes through window*

No, see, what I like about this comic is that it's less about setting up a joke and a punchline as it is a disply of minimalist expressionism utilizing random dark humor to achieve its message.

That message? Okay, I haven't figured that out yet. What? I'm not going to give you all the answers, dammit!

[Lucis]

There's a message? A point?

And here I've just been turning off my brain and enjoying the psychoticness of it (although I did notice the Deus Ex reference. That was sweet.)

Damn, and here I've been missing something the entire time.

[POS Industries]

Well, maybe the point is to deliver the message that he's psychotic. Like I said, minimalist expressionism at its finest. It's just that it might be an expression of pure batshit insanity.

Which is why I like it.

[Lucis]

Oh OK. In that case I think I'll just continue to set brain function to zero when reading until a clear point emerges, if ever. I hope not. I'm not so sure it would be as fun.

WEE INSANITY! :gonk:

[The Wandering God]

No, see, what I like about this comic is that it's less about setting up a joke and a punchline as it is a disply of minimalist expressionism utilizing random dark humor to achieve its message.

Like I said, Goofus and Gallant.

I'd like to present the award of, "Creepiest Avatar Ever", to POS Industries for it's use of a doll with hollow bleeding sockets, taken from the comic strip he is a fan of. Truly these are dark times.

The Wandering God

[MasterOfMagic]

Well, at least he's dedicated. Unlike Jared "Wishy Washy" Todd.

No, see, what I like about this comic is that it's less about setting up a joke and a punchline as it is a disply of minimalist expressionism utilizing random dark humor to achieve its message.
Yeah. I agree totally. Only...replace the bold with "random stupid stuff".

Never been an intellectual, myself.

[POS Industries]

Meh, I'm just impressed to see something new. I have a tendancy to gravitate toward the unusual, so this I like.

And as for the avatar, it's less a fanboyism and more inherant to my love of creepy fucking avatars. I think it's an excellent follow-up to Scrooge McDuck saying "I would kill you for a nickel", don't you?

[Lucis]

Quite! I've always enjoyed avatars with creepiness, as well as pointless insanity in comics. This thread has provided both in copious quantities, and so I am a content and happy little weirdo.

[The Wandering God]

Well my avatar is of a being made mostly of pointless insanity. Does that count?

Also, I can't stand it. I have to know where that Sigmund Freud panel is from. Please tell me?

The Wandering God

[POS Industries]

Well my avatar is of a being made mostly of pointless insanity. Does that count?

http://www.geocities.com/spaztronaut/bloody_gir.jpg

Yes.

[DFM]

Do you see what I did here?

http://img402.imageshack.us/img402/7458/cc310nm.png

http://img455.imageshack.us/img455/9648/cc326ft.png

[Mondt]

http://www.geocities.com/spaztronaut/bloody_gir.jpg

Yes.OK, I have got to use that as an avatar. It's just too good not to. Problem is, resizing isn't really a possibility right now...

[The Kneumatic Pnight]

This is one of the more awesome comics I've seen... though oddly, neither it nor the one image creep me out or exceed the level of random insanity I'm exposed to on a daily basis.

I've been desensitized. Or maybe I'm just crazy too.

Seriously though, kickass. Keep it up.

Also, to skeleton.

http://i36.photobucket.com/albums/e10/KneumaticPnight/resizegir1.png

and

http://i36.photobucket.com/albums/e10/KneumaticPnight/resizegir2.png

The top is a better close up for avatar size, but the bottom gets the whole image if you'd prefer.

[Lucis]

Oh, and if you just want the face, at full size, here...
5116

Back on topic, of the last two comics, I can actually identify with them, in a way. I've often wondered if I should be less reserved with what I say around others, and not be so quick to rephrase myself in more sensitive terms. I'm also one to whom debts of gratitude and guilt are very, very meaningful things. I sometimes wonder if I allow my conscience to control my life too much...

Y'know, I feel it's a sign of a damn fine comic when it can be random, stupid, off-the-wall and even shocking or disturbing, and yet occasionally carry deep meaning for some people.

[CHICAGO¤lollie]

DFM, after reading this comic of yours, I've gotta ask.

You adopt children, right? Yes? Excellent. Have my babies?

[Cloud Strife]

So yeah, this is a demand for more comics by DFM.

I NEED MORE COMICS! D:

(Seriously, kickass stuff.)

[Jared Todd]

If I'm not a loyal fan just because I have an avatar from the comic (I also made avatars of the tree saying "Barbara", and the hammer guy beating up the screw), then how come you're all on a forum based to the creations of Brian Clevinger? Eh? Ehhh? Ehhhhhh....?

I'd like to say one last thing.

I
am not
an
extremely
loyal
fan of any comic because there are so many other comics that are either better, worse, or the same level of goodness as each other
.

[MasterOfMagic]

I've never claimed to be a dedicated fan. If anything, I simply have masochistic tendencies.

Naw, I'm jokin'. I likes it a whole bunch. Probably not classified as a "dedicated" fan though.

[DFM]

I'm going to say for the record that this much positve feedback is crazy. Thanks everyone. :)

Chicago, I will hold you to that offer. Here are some comics I did while I should have been doing something else.

http://img224.imageshack.us/img224/4144/cc337xx.png

http://img140.imageshack.us/img140/9900/cc345iy.png

This one's for you, Lucis.

[The Wandering God]

Jeremy Irons as Scar rocked. He's one of the best reasons to watch "Man in the Iron Mask." (John Malkovich is the best reason.) And the fact that his plan actually worked quite well, he's also one of the more successful villians out there.

I would like to know what the last panel is pulled from. (And since I'm so damned curious I'll ask again: Where did that Sigmund Freud comic page come from?)

And I'm glad to see Skelly saw the way and joined in the Gir love.

The Wandering God

[POS Industries]

Yes, this is some quality stuff. Keep it coming. Entertain me, comics slave....

And I'm glad to see Skelly saw the way and joined in the Gir love.

I am Jhonen's herald. Look upon me and tremble, for soon He shall come forth and devour this world like so many others before it.

[DFM]

Sorry Wandering, but I’ve no real clue where the source of Dr. Freud is, though I do remember it was part of a six page comic about his antics while hunting Osama.

The last panel of yesterday’s comic was taken from a cover I did a long time ago using Garry’s Mod and Half Life 2. To make up for my failure with Freud, here’s the cover for and the comic I mentioned previously just now.

http://img299.imageshack.us/img299/9171/cover19ug.png

And the comic:

http://img138.imageshack.us/img138/884/full29ht.png

[Lucis]

This one's for you, Lucis.
Awww! I'm touched! In the head as well, but that's another story. Thanks, you nutjob you!

Seriously, your comics are just all sorts of insanity and badass. Turn off brain, turn on psychotic ravings, and enjoy the chaos! If you're lucky, you'll wind up like me and pulling a deeper meaning from a comic or two. If not, you cannot say it wasn't one hell of a weird ride!

I'd like to request permission to use the last line of the previous comic "None of us expect to actually win this war. We have chosen extinction over subjugation" as the motto of my Survivor character on UrbanDead,

[DFM]

No problem, Lucis. Here are some more comics for people who requested more comics.

http://img135.imageshack.us/img135/350/cc358fi.png

http://img467.imageshack.us/img467/9728/cc360nh.png

[The Wandering God]

I believe the second to be an accurate description of...

Well whatever. I don't want to get banned. Let's just leave it at accurate.

Indeed, more are requested good sir.

The Wandering God

[Fifthfiend]

http://img467.imageshack.us/img467/9728/cc360nh.png

An excellent play on the conventions of the medium.

I believe the second to be an accurate description of...

Well whatever. I don't want to get banned. Let's just leave it at accurate.


coughkrylocough.

[Jared Todd]

I believe the second to be an accurate description of...

Well whatever. I don't want to get banned. Let's just leave it at accurate.

Indeed, more are requested good sir.

The Wandering God

coughkrylocough.

Why did you even try?

fyi, I almost woke my mom up with the latest comic, laughing at it. Poor, poor
Frank. or should I say Coughkrylocough! Whoever that is...

[Krylo]

Ahem.

I DO read this, you know.

...Bastards.

I'm just going to go into the corner and play with my fake boobies... and then cry myself to sleep.

[POS Industries]

Okay, the one that led to Krylo crying himself to sleep is my new favorite, but not because of the Krylo thing. I just like boobies.

[DFM]

I'm going to be gone for a month or two so here are some more. This week's theme is helpful duos.

http://img519.imageshack.us/img519/3767/cc379om.png

http://img207.imageshack.us/img207/966/cc382ae.png

[The Wandering God]

Sorry Wandering, but I’ve no real clue where the source of Dr. Freud is, though I do remember it was part of a six page comic about his antics while hunting Osama.

Well it took me weeks of hunting. (Okay, that's a lie, I randomly stumbled across it.) But I finally found where it came from (http://www.sobreiro.com/freud.htm).

And since I never got around to commenting on your latest work...

Well, the first one is pretty kewl.

And I'd say the second is just a little too much exposure to the SEEDY UNDERBELLY of the internets.

The Wandering God

[DFM]

Sorry for the long delay! (lol skool) This weeks theme is "True Friends".

http://img227.imageshack.us/img227/5340/cc399ob.png

http://img227.imageshack.us/img227/1019/cc401rx.png

[Fenris]

DFM... the funny thing is, is that that could very well be true!

[Lucis]

In that last one, I wonder if Matt was really being an ass, of if some ass replaced the locker-note in order to make Matt look like an ass.

That happened to me once, when I left a locker-note for a friend sticking out of the edge of his locker, wedged into the door. Some persistent sucker worked it out, tossed it in the garbage, and replaced it with something I won't repeat here. Fortunately, I was able to prove my innocence by finding the original note - it was still laying on top of the nearest garbage can.

Just goes to show you, if you're gonna frame somebody, take some time to hide the godforsaken evidence.

[POS Industries]

I want to know what the fuckin' hilarious story was...

[MasterOfMagic]

....no you don't.

Other people should really learn from my mistakes.

[POS Industries]

Nonsense! Only good things can come from my asking for an expansion upon the presented narrative. Honestly, I expect nothing less than gumdrops and sunshine (http://img117.imageshack.us/img117/4821/gh393pa1et.jpg) for my inquisition!

[The Wandering God]

The first one is funny because I've known people that can be that kind of oblivious.

The second one just is.

The Wandering God

[DFM]

I want to know what the fuckin' hilarious story was...

Someday this attitude will get you sent to Spellhold.

Kind of in theme with "True Friends", and in honor of my achievement, I give you a very special episode of YACC CROP IMP.

http://img138.imageshack.us/img138/5233/cc411gt.png


It seems that I am in jail now.

[MasterOfMagic]

At least you got a piece of paper. All I got was a cover for the goddamn paper.

Open it up? Nothing inside!

[POS Industries]

Also, DFM, you're incorrect. A high school diploma says nothing about being able to be employed now. No, you have to give up at least another four years (along with thousands of dollars) to get that particular piece of paper.

Face it, going to jail for naughty fun with the zoo animals is probably your best chance for getting a roof over your head and three square meals a day. Just be sure to stab the first person you see so that they'll all know not to mess with you.

Have fun!

[Fifthfiend]

A high school diploma says you can be employed doing bitch work on the ass-end of the construction industry.

Or, the military! Yay for getting blowed the fuck up!

[The Wandering God]

Or you could just condense it all into one test and save 12 years by completing the GED.

Which also makes you eligible to enter the military to get that important college money.

However, if you have a spine that's as twisted as the words that come out George W. Bush's mouth, then you are SOL.

The Wandering God

[Lucis]

Well, I hope you had fun - I bet most of the rest of Earth's animal life will have a newfound respect for you. After all, anyone who can have sex with a crocodile and an elephant in one night, while drunk, has both skills and the cojones to make use of 'em.

Something tells me I'm going to regret this post later, but right now, I'm too screwy to care.

[CHICAGO¤lollie]

Yeah, y'know what? I'm going to finally make use of this "Subscibe to thread" thing that no-one talks about, so I don't miss out on updates like a sucker!

[DFM]

I've been playing a video game can you guess what one?

http://img162.imageshack.us/img162/2425/cc423ud.png

http://img162.imageshack.us/img162/927/cc430ap.png

[CHICAGO¤lollie]

THE SUBSCRIBE TO THREAD FEATURE WORKS!

And comical disturbance prevails, like always!

But I'll be damned if I know the title of that inspirational game.

[Mondt]

Y'know, I'm gonna go out on a limb and say Barbie: Faerie Princess.

I'm right. Am I right? I think I'm right.

Actually, I say Oblivion. But Oblivion doesn't really backstab, just sneak attacks. Lame, I know.

Anywho, great comics, as always.

[MasterOfMagic]

Yeah, I have no clue on the game either. But, it remains funny anyways.

Also, this has been bugging me for awhile now: What's that quote in your sig from? I like it standalone, but I'm kinda curious. (i.e. "We named the planet "Tranquility", for it was very quiet now. ")

[DFM]

Y'know, I'm gonna go out on a limb and say Barbie: Faerie Princess.


I would so play that game if they let me make it. It would be like American McGee's Alice except DFM's Barbie Faerie Princess. The cover would look all normal, too. The cover has to look normal or nobody would buy it for their innocent children. You still play as Barbie but my first change is that now Barbie has tourettes. I bet I can get an "E" rating, too, because the ESRB isn't going to actually play this thing, it's fucking Barbie, what other rating could it have? Anyway, it'll be genre bender with FPS, RPG, and RTS elements. You start out in your room and your first mission is to meet your friends at the mall. This is timed of course because everyone loves time limits. The first part of the mission involves getting out of the house without encountering your sexually abusive uncle.

You remember that old SNES game, the one where you had to run around and hide from the scissor guy? It'll be like that, except all in first person, and everyplace you hide will have a tiny opening you can peak out and watch as he comes into the room, calling your name. The opening is really small though, so you’ll just see him for awhile. The rest of the time you’ll only hear him lumbering around the room, checking all the hiding places one by one, until he gets to yours, and all you can see through the opening is his leering eye, and the very corner of his smile.

Hello, princess.

If you can sneak out of the house successfully, it turns into a kind of zombie thriller, except instead of zombies there’s poor people, and you need to make it to the mall to see your friends without them swarming you and taking your spending money. It’ll be great because you’re all alone and it's really foggy for some reason and everywhere you go, there’s another poor person shambling towards you crying about his starving family. This section will have a lot of “BOO!” moments with poor people popping out of vents and lockers and things like that.

If you throw some of your money on the ground, it will distract the poor people and they’ll swarm around it, grabbing, clutching and screaming. This will allow you to escape but be careful… Father only gave you a limited amount!

When you get to the mall with your friends it becomes a kind of DDR button masher, with correct sequences dissing and praising the appropriate outfits and people, while mistakes will damage your fashion cred, which is measured in a separate bar on the side.

If you have a high enough cred when the timer runs out, you’ll run into a cute rich guy from your high school who happens to be on the yearbook committee, and tells you that you’re going to be in the running for prom queen.

If your cred meter is too low, all your friends will realize your worthless vapid cunt and abandon you forever. Then a drunk comes shanks you.

And that’s only the first mission!

Seriously, Mattel, I am offering you my services you don't even need to pay me.


Actually, I say Oblivion.


Yeah, you're right, and yeah, I guess it doesn't. That mission was awesome, though. To anyone who hasn't played it, the whole quest is based on that Agatha Christie novel "And then there were none" except you're the person at the party killing everyone off one by one and playing them against eachother.



Also, this has been bugging me for awhile now: What's that quote in your sig from? I like it standalone, but I'm kinda curious. (i.e. "We named the planet "Tranquility", for it was very quiet now. ")

We perused the heretics to an unnamed temperate world on the very border of Imperial space. By the time we had emerged from the warp, the traitors had already hidden themselves amidst the unknowing native population, and finding seven heretics hiding upon a bustling alien planet of untold millions would prove an unacceptable delay.

To ensure the swift destruction of the heretics and to protect the people of this virgin world from the Chaos taint that had infested itself there, our fleet descended into orbit and brought a holy fire to their skies. It was the first stage of the great purification.

After the orbital strikes, Thunderhawk bombardments, Cyclonic barrages, Whirlwinds, Vindicators, and finally Battle Brothers with flamers had descended upon its broken surface and cleansed the world of all the enemies of man, we built a monastery in the center of the largest, most radioactive impact crater, as a reminder to Chaos that we will never stand idle and allow its poison to spread to other worlds.

We named the planet “Tranquility”, for it was very quiet now.

[Mondt]

Yeah, you're right, and yeah, I guess it doesn't. That mission was awesome, though. To anyone who hasn't played it, the whole quest is based on that Agatha Christie novel "And then there were none" except you're the person at the party killing everyone off one by one and playing them against eachother.It's hard to play them against each other unless your really good at sneak, though. Do the whole arrow-whizzy thing.

I just killed them in their sleep.

[DFM]

This week sadly doesn't really have a theme.

http://img217.imageshack.us/img217/7051/cc441xv.png

I'm going to be honest and say that if I were Joe that might not be okay.

http://img206.imageshack.us/img206/1350/cc457nz.png

I SWEAR TO GOD >: (

Also, here's some more Garry's Mod pictures I took because I KNOW YOU CANNOT GET ENOUGH OF IT.

http://img205.imageshack.us/img205/4017/cshavana00007hz.jpg

The forgotten soldiers, the unamed warriors.

http://img211.imageshack.us/img211/8721/csoffice00006ur.jpg

Barney has just burned his microwave burrito and his day is ruined.

http://img19.imageshack.us/img19/383/dechateau00032sd.jpg

You might not know it from that screenshot but those zombies are fucked.

http://img207.imageshack.us/img207/9786/dechateau00126wj.jpg

Ivan...

Can anyone tell me the name of that painting with Ivan the Terrible and his son that I based this off of?

[MasterOfMagic]

:/ I demand an update.

Like, right this instant. *holds a fish at the ready*

[DFM]

It's really your fault since I'm not going to double post!

http://img234.imageshack.us/img234/5476/cc46kh9.png

http://img127.imageshack.us/img127/4074/cc47za3.png


Twelve stories high, made of Radiation.

[Fifthfiend]

Okay, so do another one, already.

[DFM]

Goddamn you, fifth.

[Fifthfiend]

That's moderator fifth to you!

[DFM]

Aquinas never meant for his city to be lorded over by you OR your ilk!

[Fifthfiend]

Fool! I shall not be denied!

Blood for the Blood God!

Skulls for the Skull Throne!

[Mondt]

Fool! I shall not be denied!

Blood for the Blood God!

Skulls for the Skull Throne!OK, I don't know if that's a quote, but for everything else, where the fuck do you come up with this shit?

Seriously, it's like talking to a supercomputer made specifically for power-hungry wit.

In other news, the second comic confused me!

[DFM]

Don't you turn all Khorne loyalist on me Fifth, he can see through that shit.

Edit: Ha-Ha!

[Seeker]

Wow...just, wow. There some much more I want to say but that's all I can. Keep up the...work...or something. I think I'm going to curl up under my desk for now.

[ElfLad]

Awesome, man, awesome.

And correct me if I'm wrong, but your avatar is from Grimm Tales from Down Under, right? I like it. It's spiffy.

[CelesJessa]

I love this. This is the kind of random humor that I love. Keep it up.

[Mesden]

OK, I don't know if that's a quote, but for everything else, where the fuck do you come up with this shit?

Seriously, it's like talking to a supercomputer made specifically for power-hungry wit.

In other news, the second comic confused me!

Fifth's only good at ripping off real awesome! (http://forum.nuklearpower.com/showpost.php?p=377925&postcount=18)

(I kid, I kid. 'Cept that DFM is totally real awesome._

[Fifthfiend]

Oh man, if I didn't have Mesden to tell me what a total asshole I am, I just do not know what I would do.

[Mesden]

Oh man, if I didn't have Mesden to tell me what a total asshole I am, I just do not know what I would do.

I feel essential now. d(^ ^ d)

Also, to be semi on topic, I'll join the "DEMAND MORE YACC CROP IMP!" crowd now. >.>

[Fenris]

Looky what I did! (http://s10.photobucket.com/albums/a121/NuklearFenris/YACC%20CROP%20IMP%20by%20DFM/)

I'll remove it if ye don't want me to have that up, DFM. I just did that for potential easy access to your comics without having to go through the comments. :)

[MasterOfMagic]

That's right. That's how I like it. People listening to me. Unh-hunh. It feels good.
It's really your fault
Only next time, do it with less sass.

[DFM]

And correct me if I'm wrong, but your avatar is from Grimm Tales from Down Under, right? I like it. It's spiffy.

It is, thank you! I was going to do George Washington but some fucker already has one.


Looky what I did!

Holy shit, you rock! I'm changing the link in my sig to this.

New comics!

http://img87.imageshack.us/img87/4944/cc48nv4.png

http://img204.imageshack.us/img204/9393/cc49lh2.png

[Mondt]

http://img204.imageshack.us/img204/9393/cc49lh2.pngI laughed so hard at this one I teared. It's just so hilariously wrong.

[Mesden]

It's so deliciously horrible. So, so horribly delicious.

[Fenris]

Holy shit, you rock! I'm changing the link in my sig to this.
No problem. I like to think of it as performing a service for the people. Not only was it a service, it was an honor. I mean, not everyday can you perform a service where you don't have to get out of your chair.


But still, an honor.
(Comics)
Hehe, I particularly like the second one, but it's also eclipsing the greatness of the first. I hate people who do that. Go guy on the left, go!


THE PUBLIC DEMANDS MORE YACC CROP IMP.

[POS Industries]

THE PUBLIC DEMANDS MORE YACC CROP IMP.

Well, at the very least I demand more of it. Frankly, the public can go to hell for all I care.

[ElfLad]

I also demand more.

WE WILL NEVER BE SATIATED

[DFM]

Guys it'll be worth it just hold on a little bit longer.

Trust me.

[Mesden]

Guys it'll be worth it just hold on a little bit longer.

Trust me.

Really, it is worth it. I know 'trust me' coming from DFM is a big step in the creepy direction, bu just do it.

It's definitely worth it. How do I know? Because I do.

[Fenris]

Really, it is worth it. I know 'trust me' coming from DFM is a big step in the creepy direction, bu just do it.

It's definitely worth it. How do I know? Because I do.
Definitely worth it. How do I know? Because I may or may not be in on it. :p

I just felt like bugging him 'bout it.

[Fifthfiend]

Well bug him faster, goddamnit.

[Fenris]

Jes wait, fifth. It'll be well worth it. Besides, I am bugging him about it every opportunity I get.

[Nikose Tyris]

To Fifthfiend: read the last panel of this comic.

http://img204.imageshack.us/img204/9393/cc49lh2.png
Keep your pants on. :P

:p you know I'm teasing you anyway. I loves j00.

And I love the comics; I don't know If I've spoken up before or just silently subscribed to the thread. :P


[edit] on second thought, that's a bit mean. Sorry.

...More comics!

[Daimo Mac, The Blue Light of Hope]

Can i get a WTF.

These are awesome, bizzare and down right fucked up.

[Adghar]

DFM - Allow me to be the first to say: Your comics are the crack of NPF. They're made of crazy and make the happy in the head. Except instead of making us all your whores, you're giving us the crack free. *WINK WINK NUDGE NUDGE*

[pictish]

Would like to officially jump on the band wagon. I read the entirety of the archives and I want more.

Too many highlights to really comment. Love it.

[Satan's Onion]

Yes, and I think I may have been the one who got pictish hooked, too :p . Damn, but this is good, incredibly weird, freakish, sometimes quite disturbing stuff and I, too, clamor for my "fix".

[Fenris]

It will be well worth it. Patience is your greatest ally.

That said, hurry up, DFM. ;)

[greed]

I just read this, late ay?

Anyway, I whole heartedly approve of this abomination.
It's pure random, with pure evil.


Except
The "sexy surprise" on page 3.

FUCK YOU DFM. FUCK YOU HARD.

[Mesden]

I

FUCK YOU DFM. FUCK YOU HARD.

Sexy surprise, page 15. (Totally didn't leave stuff out)

<.< >.> <.<

Anyhow, I THINK I hit a button on DFM to let you people get a glimpse of awesome.

But you've got to get down and beg for it.

[DFM]

Like Mes said, since it's probably going to be awhile before the Episode 50 is completed, here’s some character panels I’ve been working on that I’m going to pass off as a legitimate teaser.

http://img69.imageshack.us/img69/8744/ycip1od8.png

http://img19.imageshack.us/img19/8048/ycip2xf0.png

http://img19.imageshack.us/img19/6421/ycip3ul5.png

http://img117.imageshack.us/img117/5572/ycip4nn8.png

EDIT: "Hate" removed for editing due to character changes. NEW VERSION UP -NOT- SO SHORTLY, STILL WORKING ON IT.

[Mondt]

http://img117.imageshack.us/img117/5572/ycip4nn8.pngHe is easily a favorite for me, since his picture doesn't fit that speech at all.

[greed]

No, no he matches what he says perfectly. If I had that kind of power I'd say everything evil that way, hell I already do. And yeah he's a favourite, but is he a reference to something?

[Adghar]

http://img117.imageshack.us/img117/5572/ycip4nn8.png

Is it just me, or have I seen this at a time before yesterday?

[Mesden]

Is it just me, or have I seen this at a time before yesterday?

Fifthfiend is the BASTARDFACE that spoiled it awhile ago in, I think, the Crappy 8bit comic thread when DFM decided to give him an early viewing because he just wouldn't shut up.

Stupid Fifth, ruining the effect.

Also: Favorite, as I've told DFM, is "When the gun hits the floor" one.

[POS Industries]

...aaaaand I've got a new user title thanks to DFM!

[Fifthfiend]

I had no idea you could fit so much raw awfulness into a collection of MSpaint stick figures.

Well done, you weird little bastard. Well done.

[Mesden]

I had no idea you could fit so much raw awfulness into a collection of MSpaint stick figures.

Someone's mixing up their italicized aw-words that end with -ness.

You know, because I could've sworn that you are the one who begs him on end for this stuff.

You know, like a crackwhore.

You're DFM's crackwhore.

You crackwhore.

[DFM]

Okay, here is what I am doing. Episode 50 with all its awesome is taking a lot longer than previously anticipated, so what I’m going to do is just sort of temporarily skip that particular comic and continue on with the show. To help make up for this, I’ve got four comics this week, along with a special contest.

One of these comics was not made by me, and the first person to correctly guess which one gets a SPECIAL APPEARANCE in an upcoming comic because I do not have anything else! Stickatize me, Captain.

http://img207.imageshack.us/img207/6690/cc51bu6.png

http://img243.imageshack.us/img243/5551/cc52yw4.png

http://img183.imageshack.us/img183/9028/cc53cm7.png

http://img208.imageshack.us/img208/2323/cc54ed7.png

[ElfLad]

I vote number 3.

Because you write about what you know, and DFM has obviously never felt the touch of a woman.

[Nikose Tyris]

I think Number 2. It sounds a LOT more like one of Fenriswolf's jokes than yours.

[Adghar]

My vote's definitely on number one. My ever keen shadow wing dark angel wing darkness eye claims it to be so.

[Fifthfiend]

I guess four! Because it has not been guessed!

Also because it makes even less sense than your other nonsensical comics.

[DFM]

I vote number 3.

Because you write about what you know, and DFM has obviously never felt the touch of a woman.

Fuck you her name is Alberta she lives in Vancouver and she sucks like a Hoover.


But yeah, ElfLad gets it.


THAT SURE TOOK A LONG TIME, HUH GUYS?

Comic #3 written by Fenris.

[Fenris]

Fuck you her name is Alberta she lives in Vancouver and she sucks like a Hoover.


But yeah, ElfLad gets it.


THAT SURE TOOK A LONG TIME, HUH GUYS?

Comic #3 written by Fenris.
Comic #3 drawn by DFM. 'Cause my attempt at it sucked hard.

[ElfLad]

Yay, will you also plug my webcomic when I appear?

Your girlfriend's named Alberta? What's her middle name, British Columbia?

And from what I've heard, J. Edgar Hoover couldn't give a blowjob worth shit.

[Mesden]

Elflad's theory is still wrong because Fenris wrote it.

Now he's gonna make a mean sprite comic about me. =(

[DFM]

Hey!

Last week she was here, but she had the flu.
Too bad
'Cause I wanted to introduce her to you
It's so sad
There wasn't a thing that she could do

But stay in bed with her legs up over her head!

Oh!

And yeah, I can probably work that in with no problem.

Edit: The comic plug, not the above.

[Fenris]

Elflad's theory is still wrong because Fenris wrote it.
No, instead I will inform you that I do have a girlfriend.

^^

[ElfLad]

Awesome.

(Responding to DFM plugging my comic. I could care less about Fenris's girlfriend, although it's neat to have my theory proven correct.)

[Mesden]

No, instead I will inform you that I do have a girlfriend.

^^

You leave Frank (http://img467.imageshack.us/img467/9728/cc360nh.png) out of this!

[Fenris]

I'm fairly sure my girlfriend is not Frank, thank you very much.

[POS Industries]

I'm fairly sure my girlfriend is not Frank, thank you very much.

That's right. Frank would never leave me. What we have is forever.

FOR-FUCKING-EVER!!!!

[Fenris]

I finally got around to updating the Photobucket thing.

[The Wandering God]

Just wanted to pop in and again contribute my whole hearted approval of the endevors of one DFM.

Can you provide access to any written works you have made?

The Wandering God

[Fifthfiend]

You know it's not like we know Frank is actually a dude, even.

She could just be the lady equivalent of the boy named Sue.

Just wanted to pop in and again contribute my whole hearted approval of the endevors of one DFM.

Can you provide access to any written works you have made?

The Wandering God

Howdy!

Long time no see.

[POS Industries]

You know it's not like we know Frank is actually a dude, even.

She could just be the lady equivalent of the boy named Sue.

Let's just say that Frank is a whole lot of everything. And it's all mine!

[greed]

Didn't we establish who Frank is a while ago?

On that topic, Krylo just remember this, if you have easy access to boobs, real or fake, attatched to you or not, to play with, there is NO reason you should ever cry.

THE MORE YOU KNOW.

Oh and DFM is there a name for the "destroyer of worlds and of children".

[Mondt]

You know it's not like we know Frank is actually a dude, even.

She could just be the lady equivalent of the boy named Sue.Yeah, but the boy named Sue didn't play with his penis. In front of people. Or something.

Rather, he got in a chair-bashing, punch-throwing, gun-pulling bar fight.

[pictish]

Yeah, but the boy named Sue didn't play with his penis. In front of people. Or something.

Rather, he got in a chair-bashing, punch-throwing, gun-pulling bar fight.

So, you're saying Sue overstated his masculinity to make up for his name?

And what exactly is it Frank's overstating again? ;P

[Krylo]

Just to note: Frank is actually relatively common as a girl name (well not, Frank, persay, but names like Francis which can, and are, shortened down to Frank or Frankie).

Also: On that topic, Krylo just remember this, if you have easy access to boobs, real or fake, attatched to you or not, to play with, there is NO reason you should ever cry.How'd I end up in here?

[Mesden]

Also: How'd I end up in here?

Well, I mean...Just so you can get a quick refresher... (http://forum.nuklearpower.com/showpost.php?p=386442&postcount=90)

[DFM]

http://img386.imageshack.us/img386/2627/cc55im9.png

http://img490.imageshack.us/img490/5250/cc56tm7.png

Preemptive: I said upcoming.

Can you provide access to any written works you have made?

The last thing I actually sat down and wrote that wasn't entirely just me being stupid and self-indulgent was back in high school. I called it "Vaudeville" and it was about a small starship, its crew, and their misadventures. I don't have it posted anywhere, I don't think, but I could e-mail it to you, if you're still interested.

The absolute last thing I wrote was about nine pages of diary entries that... well, I guess I can send you that, too, if you want.

Oh and DFM is there a name for the "destroyer of worlds and of children".

Smiles.

<3

[gurusloth]

I love the gleeful look on his face as he lazers the child through the skull.

[greed]

Heheh, "Smiles" sweet.
Maybe should have a title in front like

Mr Smiles
Master Smiles
Dr Smiles
Prof Smiles
Godking Smiles.

On the new comics, they don't disappoint, especially.......
well both of them. Weapons grade lasers and children, best pairing ever.

Bah, ninjafication has occured.

[Fenris]

D:

This thread hadn't updated for me for a while, so I hadn't caught the last two strips.

But I updated the photobucket, and I rather like #56.

[DFM]

http://img120.imageshack.us/img120/7568/cc57lm5.png

http://img88.imageshack.us/img88/4074/cc58sr3.png

Elflad: Changed the original strip, couldn't work a plug into this one, sorry brah.

[ElfLad]

You give me happies.

[POS Industries]

The British Royal Family is actually an undiscovered species of reptile and not really a bloodline at all.

Five things:

1) Oh, everyone knows that already.

2) Obviously, they discovered the species as infesting Buckingham Palace, so they aren't technically "undiscovered".

3) This means that Great Britain has been ruled for centuries by a bloodline of hideous lizard-creatures.

4) Everyone totally knows that already.

5) Stay in school, kids!

[TheSpacePope]

So That's what that robot meant when he said...
"Take me to your lizard"

[DFM]

I am flush with victories so here's two more ahead of schedule.

http://img204.imageshack.us/img204/6250/cc59rh0.png

http://img113.imageshack.us/img113/4682/cc60mt5.png

[Satan's Onion]

Wise DFM, your new comicry fills me with glee. In fact, I veritably overflow with joy, and it splashes onto the floor and makes things rather slippery, and imbues everything with the faint smell of sandalwood and French fries. (I'll clean it up later.)

[DFM]

http://img227.imageshack.us/img227/130/cc61nw2.png

I love money.

http://img227.imageshack.us/img227/1990/cc62cb7.png

I love my dad.

[MotasMan]

You never cease to amaze me... I don't know how you incorporated your children's book in there, but you should post that too, so everyone can see it. I'm telling you... a book of Fables... It would be a hit... the kids would never lead a normal life again...

[Mesden]

For those of curiousity, unless you wish for another cold and terrible hell, do not ask for his stories.

Yes, I just hyped it up to antagonize you.

[Fenris]

For those of curiousity, unless you wish for another cold and terrible hell, do not ask for his stories.

Yes, I just hyped it up to antagonize you.
Pfff. I liked the story he sent me.

Computer finally started to let me view imageshack stuffs, so photobucket has been updated. =D

[Fighter=Genius]

Wow you do good work. I don't think the mental scars will ever fade from my shattered mind.

[Demonlink2]

DINSHAUGHLA!

This is so great, I don't know what to make of it.
Or if I should be frightened or buy stock in your comic.

[Ketsueki]

I love this comic. If the stories are anywhere near as good as these, I can't wait to read them.

[Daimo Mac, The Blue Light of Hope]

You sir need to get these published. By the sound sof it, you have a rabid following who will turn this into a cult. You sir have cresated the successor to the Cthulhu cult =P

[Roy_D_Mylote]

So...um...make more comics? Um.

It's hard to be original, dangit.

[DFM]

I haven't said it in awhile, so thanks again for all the comments and support and everything, you guys rock. :)

http://img269.imageshack.us/img269/9769/cc63hu6.png

http://img213.imageshack.us/img213/7343/cc64xz0.png

Ninety percent of all horrors movies would be over before they began if people utilized this crazy thing called “Good Judgment” or even “Common Fucking Sense”.

Unless you're fat.

If you’re fat you’re getting comedy death and you’re getting it early. Sorry, bud.

[POS Industries]

Ninety percent of all horrors movies would be over before they began if people utilized this crazy thing called “Good Judgment” or even “Common Fucking Sense”.

Unless you're fat.

If you’re fat you’re getting comedy death and you’re getting it early. Sorry, bud.

Also, if you're a whore. Have sex and death will track you down and finish you off no matter where you go. You could have left Crystal Lake three months ago and be at fucking Disneyland, but Jason Voorhees is gonna chop your head off on Space Mountain if it has to come to that.

And that is why the Republican Party wants abstinence-only education in schools. You'll thank them later.

[The Wandering God]

These just might be the funniest ones so far.

"Wow, time to leave!"

The Wandering God

[DFM]

Also, if you're a whore. Have sex and death will track you down and finish you off no matter where you go. You could have left Crystal Lake three months ago and be at fucking Disneyland, but Jason Voorhees is gonna chop your head off on Space Mountain if it has to come to that.

And that is why the Republican Party wants abstinence-only education in schools. You'll thank them later.

DFM's Impromptu Guide on Surviving Survival Horror:

Today’s Edition: Know Your Role!

If you’re a girl and you’re not 1) Naïve or 2) A Bitch, you’ll probably be okay in roughly ninety eight percent of all possible horror scenarios no matter what so just sit back and relax.

If you're a guy, find the above girl and get her to fall in love with you in a mutual romantic relationship. You may still die, but it's your only shot. Another tip for guys: Don’t be the Jerk. Being the Jerk will buy you a longer lifespan than most of your friends but ensures you'll eventually buy it in a worse way than anyone else.

The Jerk will always be somehow antagonistic towards everyone else despite horrendous circumstances that threaten to destroy you all. He’s a jerk.

The Jerk is interchangeable with the Bitch, though your group may contain them both.

Like the Jerk, the Naïve Girl will have an extended lifespan over the rest of your hapless group, but eventually she’ll try and play catch with the Fellhound or something because it seems friendly.

[Fifthfiend]

What? Naw, like 9 times out of 10 the Naive Girl is the one who lives.

See the trick is to start as the Naive Girl then transition into Plucky Heroine Who Refuses to Give Up.

I think your problem here is you're confusing the Naive Girl with the Dumb Whore. Which is an easy enough mistake to make.

Honestly if you're a dude? Just worry about banging as many coed camp counselors as you can until somebody offs you.

I mean in all probability you're gonna die no matter what you do, but you might manage get the heroine pregnant, and at least that's something.

[gurusloth]

I mean in all probability you're gonna die no matter what you do, but you might manage get the heroine pregnant, and at least that's something.Because, really, at the end of the day, if you haven't propigated your unique genetic code, then what was the point of it all?

Also, I was wondering what movie you culled the kids with no eyes from.

[POS Industries]

Also, I was wondering what movie you culled the kids with no eyes from.

Obviously....

http://imagesource.allposters.com/images/pic/153/928~Spy-Kids-3-D-Game-Over-Posters.jpg

[Satan's Onion]

GAAH! The horror! My eyes, my eyes...

[DFM]

Also, I was wondering what movie you culled the kids with no eyes from.

I just kind of made it up, but Children of the Corn and Village of the Damned and probably any movie that has [Blank] of the [Blank] all have the child cult killers vibe going on, I guess.

And sorry about the delay but I no longer have the internet. To make up for it, here's two character panels. Everything in the second one is stolen from somewhere else.

http://img183.imageshack.us/img183/5464/ycip6xw1.jpg

http://img97.imageshack.us/img97/3224/yci7hj2.png

I AIN'T MAD THIS IS JUST HOW I TALK IF ONE MORE PERSON TELLS ME TO CALM DOWN I AM GOING TO RAPE SOMETHING SPEAKING OF RAPE HERE IS MY COUSIN.

http://img145.imageshack.us/img145/2903/yci1vc9.png

http://img145.imageshack.us/img145/8107/yci2fx5.png

[The Wandering God]

And suddenly everything starts to fall into place.

We can blame enviroment AND genetics for whatever is going on in DFM's mind.

Thank goodness, as it results in hilarity.

The Wandering God

[greed]

Well hilarity and ritualistically murdered children.

Same thing really.
CHOO-CHOO!

[Mondt]

!

Incest sex rape jokes are especially funny since I'm still in high school! Everyone knows we can't say "penis" with laughing. >.>

^.^

[DFM]

What I want is a trend in horror movies where the dumb whore always wins, so it’s more a reflection of the real world. The dumb whore always wins and if you think you have ever beaten the dumb whore, I have got some cold and depressing self-revelation for you.

Anyway, I think I got the family reunion out of my system now.

http://img192.imageshack.us/img192/892/yci3zv6.png

http://img174.imageshack.us/img174/9108/yci4wd9.png

[POS Industries]

If you haven't worn a sweater knitted from the flesh of the weak and claim to know just what "warm" really is, you're a filthy goddamn liar. That's all I have to say.

[TheSpacePope]

Well that is a pleasant visual image.

And screw sweaters, I make t-shirts of the weak.

[POS Industries]

While our hero recharges his batteries, have a guest comic!

http://www.geocities.com/spaztronaut/YCI_pos1.png

[Fenris]

Are you sure those are guest strips? They look so... genuine!

[POS Industries]

It's only one strip, technically, and the art is a cut-and-paste composite from 7 or 8 older strips, editted together and given original dialogue. The whole thing was done in Korea for about 13¢.

Incidentally, I probably put more work into making this than DFM's put into any of his. Still, I think it's funny. Then again, I have noticed that the stick figure guise masks an obvious level or artistic skill and talent, and I'm rather curious as to just how good DFM really is.

[Daimo Mac, The Blue Light of Hope]

I feel so very dirty reading this . Yet I cannot stop.

[Fifthfiend]

Woo-hoo, incest rape!

[Mesden]

Woo-hoo, incest rape!

It's the best kind of Rape!

*So says the Alabamian*

=\

[DFM]

That was an awesome comic, POS and I think it means we have to get married now.

http://img129.imageshack.us/img129/6344/cc67nl3.png

http://img55.imageshack.us/img55/821/cc68ud8.png

Like a bamillion points to whoever knows where these came from.

[Fenris]

Like a bamillion points to whoever knows where these came from.
The twisted little thing we call your mind?

[ElfLad]

The first one is about Grandia III, not sure about the second.

[POS Industries]

Only because I showed it to DFM first and he claimed to like it am I posting this next POS Industriestastic guest strip! Oh, and by the way, when I say "POS Industriestastic", I mean none of you will give a shit.

http://www.geocities.com/spaztronaut/YCI_pos2.png

True story!

[Fifthfiend]

Booooooooooo! Hisssssssssss!

Get 'im off the stage!

[POS Industries]

Aww, somebody needs a hug!

[DFM]

http://img120.imageshack.us/img120/8518/cc69wl6.png

http://img175.imageshack.us/img175/961/cc70ts0.png

True story.

[Fenris]

DFM, you redefine awesomeness.

Uploading to photobucket now.

[DFM]

http://img329.imageshack.us/img329/1228/cc71tw6.png

http://img230.imageshack.us/img230/6830/cc72ht9.png

[Fenris]

Frank's back! Glee!

You're really on a roll, DFM. How's comic 50 coming along?

[Roy_D_Mylote]

In that first one the guy kinda looks like he's crouched like a spider on his three legs.

[DFM]

In that first one the guy kinda looks like he's crouched like a spider on his three legs.

Now I have ideas.

Episode 50 is not being nice to me, so maybe awhile.

[ElfLad]

Where's my cameo?

[Fenris]

Where's my cameo?
I believe you're in This one. (http://s10.photobucket.com/albums/a121/NuklearFenris/YACC%20CROP%20IMP%20by%20DFM/?action=view&current=cc57lm5.png&refPage=40&imgAnch=imgAnch58)

[ElfLad]

Ah. K.

[MotasMan]

Oh wow...did people pick up on the Nena? That is awesome. I was so playing Starcraft the other day too... zerg rush...that's the best tactic ever...totally won WWII for us...wow. haha. Ok, amazing.

[DFM]

One of these comics begat the other!

http://img300.imageshack.us/img300/674/cc73gf3.png

http://img175.imageshack.us/img175/6317/cc74fe2.png

[POS Industries]

Damn it, DFM! If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times! Stop writing comics about me, goddammit!!

[Ogianres]

That panel about wanting to be a lesbian really speaks to me, and there is no way in hell I'm gonna ever listen to DFM after what I've seen come out of his mind... :shifty:.

Ignore all of that, I am not crazy.

[FunkyBlackMage]

My head just exploded...and surprisingly, I liked it. Keep 'em coming.

[TheSpacePope]

since it was been a many of day since there was a yaac cropp imp, I just had to whip up this one.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v617/geckglow/untitled-2.jpg
This was just a bump really to get DFM off his ass!

[POS Industries]

This was just a bump really to get DFM off his ass!

Hey, that's the only reason that I made my awesome (http://forum.nuklearpower.com/showpost.php?p=446791&postcount=217) comics (http://forum.nuklearpower.com/showpost.php?p=447874&postcount=226) that everybody just loved.

Furthermore, happy birthday to DFM! I know there's a thread for it, but who reads that, anyway?

[Krylo]

You people must stop doing this. I go to check the forums and see the thread has been posted and I'm all like, "Hey sweet, DFM updated again already!?" And what do I find when I get here? Nothing but massive disappointment brought on by your utterly terrible writing. Utterly Terrible.

Nah, I'm just kiddin'. You guys are great.
No. Seriously. Terrible.

[Fifthfiend]

You know if DFM were actually capable of doing more than two of these a month? He could probably rule the world.

He'd probably turn it into a conglomeration of every known circle of hell, but at least we'd have his delightful comics to distract us from our agony.

[Fenris]

You know if DFM were actually capable of doing more than two of these a month? He could probably rule the world.

He'd probably turn it into a conglomeration of every known circle of hell, but at least we'd have his delightful comics to distract us from our agony.
His delightful comics will be about our agony.

And oddly enough, we still won't care.

[DFM]

SO HERE I AM AT THREE IN THE MORNING MAKING COMICS ON MY BIRTHDAY

http://img205.imageshack.us/img205/5027/cc75nm0.png

http://img299.imageshack.us/img299/1037/cc76tz9.png

AND THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO WISHED ME A HAPPY BIRTHDAY ON MY BIRTHDAY

[Satan's Onion]

Aw, she wants a new vorpal blade. That's so cyuuuuuuuuute ^.^ !

[POS Industries]

SO HERE I AM AT THREE IN THE MORNING MAKING COMICS ON MY BIRTHDAY

Actually, it's 3 am on the day after your birthday. Now you're just old and tired.

AND THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO WISHED ME A HAPPY BIRTHDAY ON MY BIRTHDAY

Happy to help!