Satan's Onion
06-07-2006, 05:16 AM
I've tried drawing this myself, but really I just can't draw a comic that anyone but me can read easily. So if anyone wants to pick up on this 8BT fancomic idea and doodle a little something to go with it, that'd be just dandy.
Here's the approximate script (I'll revise for any useful suggestions:)
(Open on a normal, garden-variety bathroom; a variety of things are scattered on the counter, one of the most visible being a hotel- or travel-sized bottle of shampoo bearing the name of "Mister Bates' Mo-Tel-Inn". We also see White Mage in bathrobe and shower cap, back half turned to the viewer, examining another travel-sized toiletry item. [Note: Get your minds out of the gutter. This is more of a ripoff of Bates Motel than anything else.] Says White Mage:)
WM: "This product not tested on chocobos."
Oo! Good to know.
(White Mage turns and enters the shower. We can see the top of her head and over the top of the shower curtain to the bathroom door. All is well; she might even be singing a bit...until the door opens with an ominous creak. We see a knife, dripping blood, held at the ready for stabbing, at the threshold of the bathroom; a boot, also streaked with rivulets, smears, and spatters of blood, next to the head of WM's hammer as though the mysterious attacker had just stepped up next to it; and finally, a yellowish hand attached to a blue-robed arm about to fling the shower curtain wide open.
Cue the much-ripped-off images of a shower stabbing: an evil-looking silhouette against the harsh bathroom lighting, possibly with the knife being the only object visible against it; blood running down the shower drain, White Mage collapsed in the corner of the shower, tangled for modesty in the curtain itself, and screaming. Her terror turns on a dime to puzzlement, and then irritation, as she finally realizes the identity of her attacker.)
WM: Aieeeeee--huh?
WM: Black Mage?
(Of course Black Mage is quite embarrassed about the whole thing, a little as though he'd gotten a wrong telephone number or similar. He's also absolutely drenched, stained, covered in blood.)
BM: Heh heh. Wow.
BM: Thought you were that nasty paladin chick who called me a "smelly, unkempt ruffian".
(This last panel takes a bit of explaining as I imagined it. At the top are WM's hand around the handle of her hammer--remember, she collapsed in the shower, so she'd be close to the floor--and BM's boots. At the bottom, separated by a sort of cutaway view of the floor, is the room below; the walls are covered in blood spatters and smears, and what we can see of the room itself, perhaps a picture on the wall, is in disarray. Here we read what are presumably the final words of three unseen speakers; altho' it shouldn't be difficult to figure out which text bubble belongs to whom. As White Mage begins to lift her hammer:)
WM: ...And the blood? As if I don't already think I know.
BM: Nothin'. Just took care of my three biggest problems.
Four, if you count that guy who stole the last raisin muffin at the breakfast buffet.
BM: And now I get to see White Mage boobies! It's like a dream come true! ...A wet dream! Am I right?
...Seriously, let's get crazy sexual.
Unseen Speaker #1: Not even my new +4/+4 Plusfours of Fortitude protected me from the stab-rage...
Wait! Cast Ice-3...in bloodstream...stop the...massive bleeding!...
...genius!...
Unseen Speaker #2: "...admission to the funeral: 250--no, 400 gil, to be donated to the Bury Thief in a Pile of Coins Fund...
...and a...cash...bar..."
Unseen Speaker #3: I see...a tunnel...and a light!
...Stabby? Slashy? Can it really be you?
I'm coming, guys!
++++++++++++++++++
So? Any takers? Any suggestions? How is it?
Thanks in advance
Satan's Onion
edited: for great spelling.
Here's the approximate script (I'll revise for any useful suggestions:)
(Open on a normal, garden-variety bathroom; a variety of things are scattered on the counter, one of the most visible being a hotel- or travel-sized bottle of shampoo bearing the name of "Mister Bates' Mo-Tel-Inn". We also see White Mage in bathrobe and shower cap, back half turned to the viewer, examining another travel-sized toiletry item. [Note: Get your minds out of the gutter. This is more of a ripoff of Bates Motel than anything else.] Says White Mage:)
WM: "This product not tested on chocobos."
Oo! Good to know.
(White Mage turns and enters the shower. We can see the top of her head and over the top of the shower curtain to the bathroom door. All is well; she might even be singing a bit...until the door opens with an ominous creak. We see a knife, dripping blood, held at the ready for stabbing, at the threshold of the bathroom; a boot, also streaked with rivulets, smears, and spatters of blood, next to the head of WM's hammer as though the mysterious attacker had just stepped up next to it; and finally, a yellowish hand attached to a blue-robed arm about to fling the shower curtain wide open.
Cue the much-ripped-off images of a shower stabbing: an evil-looking silhouette against the harsh bathroom lighting, possibly with the knife being the only object visible against it; blood running down the shower drain, White Mage collapsed in the corner of the shower, tangled for modesty in the curtain itself, and screaming. Her terror turns on a dime to puzzlement, and then irritation, as she finally realizes the identity of her attacker.)
WM: Aieeeeee--huh?
WM: Black Mage?
(Of course Black Mage is quite embarrassed about the whole thing, a little as though he'd gotten a wrong telephone number or similar. He's also absolutely drenched, stained, covered in blood.)
BM: Heh heh. Wow.
BM: Thought you were that nasty paladin chick who called me a "smelly, unkempt ruffian".
(This last panel takes a bit of explaining as I imagined it. At the top are WM's hand around the handle of her hammer--remember, she collapsed in the shower, so she'd be close to the floor--and BM's boots. At the bottom, separated by a sort of cutaway view of the floor, is the room below; the walls are covered in blood spatters and smears, and what we can see of the room itself, perhaps a picture on the wall, is in disarray. Here we read what are presumably the final words of three unseen speakers; altho' it shouldn't be difficult to figure out which text bubble belongs to whom. As White Mage begins to lift her hammer:)
WM: ...And the blood? As if I don't already think I know.
BM: Nothin'. Just took care of my three biggest problems.
Four, if you count that guy who stole the last raisin muffin at the breakfast buffet.
BM: And now I get to see White Mage boobies! It's like a dream come true! ...A wet dream! Am I right?
...Seriously, let's get crazy sexual.
Unseen Speaker #1: Not even my new +4/+4 Plusfours of Fortitude protected me from the stab-rage...
Wait! Cast Ice-3...in bloodstream...stop the...massive bleeding!...
...genius!...
Unseen Speaker #2: "...admission to the funeral: 250--no, 400 gil, to be donated to the Bury Thief in a Pile of Coins Fund...
...and a...cash...bar..."
Unseen Speaker #3: I see...a tunnel...and a light!
...Stabby? Slashy? Can it really be you?
I'm coming, guys!
++++++++++++++++++
So? Any takers? Any suggestions? How is it?
Thanks in advance
Satan's Onion
edited: for great spelling.