Worst Ideas for Game Plots [Archive] - The Warring States of NPF

PCD

01-16-2007, 11:49 PM

This may be a waste of thread, but I've been thinking...

What do you fine forumers consider to be the dumbest ideas for game plots? Not bad games, necessarily. Just bad ideas.

Example: Zelda, the Minish Cap. A game, made to describe the origins of Link's hat. Not a completely terrible game, in my opinion (But hey, I'm a LAME gamer), but the idea is undeniably ridiculous.

So, what are those little plot points or features that are just mind-blowingly ridiculous? Come, gamers, and laugh mercilessly at them.

Satan's Onion

01-17-2007, 01:34 AM

Speaking of another Zelda portable game, LoZ: Link's Awakening. It's a fine game to play, and I've had lots of fun with it, but the end is essentially a twist on "And it was aaaaaall a dream", which I found a bit ridiculous (not least because, when you think about it, here's video game designers stealing from Dallas, of all sources).

notasfatasmike

01-17-2007, 04:14 AM

I know I've mentioned this before, but seriously: Fahrenheit/Indigo Prophecy. The basic *idea* of the plot is pretty good, and it works well for about the first half of the game, but then the twist comes and, oh snap, the plot becomes utter shit.

Mirai Gen

01-17-2007, 05:03 AM

I'm going to second Link's Awakening. It would have been so much better if they just kept with the plot they were going with and had Link, I don't know, have the Wind Fish give him a hike back to Hyrule or something.

Also, Metroid Prime 2's main plot. I just hated the Ing and the Luminoth. Dumbest fucking races ever.

Lord of Joshelplex

01-17-2007, 09:25 AM

I would ahve to say Eve of Extinction, thaty is retarded, and not finished the story.

42PETUNIAS

01-17-2007, 09:48 AM

tales of symphonia. Not that theres anything generally wrong with the plot, but it just switches back and forth so many times who the bad guys are. it would be better if you could find out at the start who the bad guys were, and stick with them. All that attacking different people and stuff got needlessly complicated.

Fifthfiend

01-17-2007, 10:36 AM

This one's always a favorite (http://static.flickr.com/61/172796673_ed5976412d_m.jpg).

I mean, that's the whole plot.

tales of symphonia. Not that theres anything generally wrong with the plot, but it just switches back and forth so many times who the bad guys are. it would be better if you could find out at the start who the bad guys were, and stick with them. All that attacking different people and stuff got needlessly complicated.

See also every single Square game since 1996.

PyrosNine

01-17-2007, 12:43 PM

P-Sleazy

01-17-2007, 12:58 PM

Hey, Don't be ragging on Mario. He's Iconic for ditching people he can get for people out of his league.

Bad game Plots? Um, Can't really think of anything. Just annoyances at the lack of things you can do and how linear some plots are in unlocking the world to you and the monster strength at said points.

Fifthfiend

01-17-2007, 01:02 PM

he ditches her

Hey, who said he ditched her?

I mean come on, he is Italian.

Bells

01-17-2007, 01:13 PM

Final Fantasy 8 is always primal at this...

Pretty much every FPS game ever...?

Also, Sonic games tend to be Stupid plot wise... and i always find it funny that th World in that game is build so that sonic can so Superfast from point a to point b...

CelesJessa

01-17-2007, 01:56 PM

Zombie Nation:

Dark Seed has taken over the world and stolen the mystical samaurai sword, it is your job, as a giant floating samaurai head that spews fireballs to destroy the hell out of New York and retrieve the sword, fighting the Statue of Liberty in the end.

Major Blood

01-17-2007, 02:25 PM

I'd have to say Timesplitters, but in a good way.

Mirai Gen

01-17-2007, 02:53 PM

Celes, will you pleeeease change your avatar? That Link is fucking creeping me out. The comic was funny, but jesus christ that's fugly.

I'd also feel the need to say Chrono Cross. Though it started out wonderfully (ignoring it's lame stapled-on attempts to bind with Chrono Trigger), it seriously threw in just about every plot device known to man. Including the Lucas favorite, Lynx is your father!

It's only really bad considering you are Lynx for like half of the game. You're your own dad. Creepy.

DeviousToast

01-17-2007, 02:55 PM

Final Fantasy 9, pretty much from the point when you find that the world is being controlled by a super race in a satellite and then you fight whatever the fuck that thing at the end was, the thing that was like a cross between a Gundam and a Fischer-Price mobile.

CelesJessa

01-17-2007, 03:22 PM

Celes, will you pleeeease change your avatar? That Link is fucking creeping me out. The comic was funny, but jesus christ that's fugly.

Aww come on, my avatar makes me laugh every time I see it.

Unfortunately I have to throw another Link game (windwaker) on the pile. While, it's not really PLOT, the idea of sailing from place to place still makes me want to hurt something. Otherwise it was a great game.

When you think about it, the plot to Mystical Ninja: Starring Goemon is completely retarded.

As written on amazon.com:
Mystical Ninja follows the stories of unlikely heroes Goemon and Ebisumaru, two... er, misunderstood fellows who have yet to receive a lick of credit for the previous four times they've saved Japan. In addition to the title characters, lithe swordswoman Yae and the turnip-esque robot Sasuke join the quest. The Peach Mountain Shoguns, a nefarious dance troupe, have remodeled Oedo Castle with the business end of an energy beam. It's up to Goemon and crew to find out why and, of course, stop their evil scheme. Who are these mysterious dancers? What are their true intentions? Why are there robots in ancient Japan?

But MAN that game is fun.

Regulus Tera

01-17-2007, 03:36 PM

See also every single Square game since 1996.

Your disregard for Final Fantasy XII and Vagrant Story makes me die on the inside.

On Topic: I have to second every Sonic game, with a special mention to the new Sonic. I mean, furry (http://youtube.com/watch?v=DSkO5t9OTHc)? (spoilers on that video!) Even I have my limits.

Lord of Joshelplex

01-17-2007, 04:15 PM

When you think about it, the plot to Mystical Ninja: Starring Goemon is completely retarded.

As written on amazon.com:
Mystical Ninja follows the stories of unlikely heroes Goemon and Ebisumaru, two... er, misunderstood fellows who have yet to receive a lick of credit for the previous four times they've saved Japan. In addition to the title characters, lithe swordswoman Yae and the turnip-esque robot Sasuke join the quest. The Peach Mountain Shoguns, a nefarious dance troupe, have remodeled Oedo Castle with the business end of an energy beam. It's up to Goemon and crew to find out why and, of course, stop their evil scheme. Who are these mysterious dancers? What are their true intentions? Why are there robots in ancient Japan?

But MAN that game is fun.

Shut up, that was an amazing story, full of incerdible characters and a beautifully written plot! Well, yeah, it was more retarded than Excel Saga, but it was damn funny.

Fifthfiend

01-17-2007, 04:16 PM

Your disregard for Final Fantasy XII and Vagrant Story makes me die on the inside.

Final Fantasy XII and Vagrant Story make me die on the inside.

Aerozord

01-17-2007, 04:34 PM

Well, let me spin this past you....

A short, fat italian plumber/carpenter with a hot girlfriend climbs up to the top of an unfinished skyscraper to defeat a giant ape, armed only with a good jumping ability and the fact he goes batshit crazy when you put a hammer in his hands.

Then, after saving his hot girlfriend he ditches her and goes into plumbing, stumbles upon an alternate world where everything is gigantic and he too can become gigantic from eating a mushroom as big as his own body. There he goes on to defeat an army of mutant Turtles armed with only the ability to become the same size as them, along with the ability to eat a glowing white flower and hurling fireballs.

Upon defeating an even bigger mutant turtle, he saves the kingdom and ends up having it's princess as his new girlfriend, who is still twice his size, even when he's big from eating mushrooms.

I mean, that story right there is just so full of awesome it deserves an Emmy, an Oscar, and maybe even a Nobel Prize.
you beat me to Mario.

But I know something weirder. I am not sure I should count it because there isn't much of a plot.

An earthworm comes into possesion of a suit that gives him arms and legs. So he goes out and fights alien monsters and bounces puppies on marshmellows and cows fall from the sky, and then for some reason your in a wessel suit making your way through someone's small intestine.

Can you guess the game? Highlight to find out Earthworm Jim

Long-Haired Narcissist

01-17-2007, 05:30 PM

Final Fantsy X's plot was really bad. I mean the Sin is your father, breaking up the bad guy's wedding, Yuna being Rikku's cousin, and OMG!! Auron's really dead shit came straight from every soap opera ever.

Bells

01-17-2007, 06:28 PM

I Love Half Life 2... but Plot-wise its kinda of a mess...

its like the writers went "Meh... let go Bat-Ape Fucking Shit Crazeh!"

Elminster_Amaur

01-17-2007, 06:35 PM

Man, I'm disappointed in you guys. C'mon, you're giving acceptable games with acceptable plots. Acceptable, at least in relation to Sneak King.

Lord of Joshelplex

01-17-2007, 06:46 PM

I still say Eve of Extinction: Company makes a weapon that requres a human soul to use, so your girlfriend is used. You go out and fight a bunch of freaky ass weirdos and fin out that it was ancient Atlantian technology. The CEO of the corporation turns into a monster and you kill him, and everyone lives happily ever after. And then they leave room for a sequel. It is in fact, explained basically like that in game, next to no story.

Daimo Mac, The Blue Light of Hope

01-17-2007, 06:46 PM

FF8 followed by FF7.

And the first half of KH2

xravi

01-17-2007, 06:59 PM

Arfenhouse. If any of you played the games you know what I am talking about.

So a cat kills housemasters father and housemaster, a guy with a pice of bread for a head, goes and trys to get revenge along with his pet pikachoo(Thats right pikachoo) and a one eyed assain named Joshpeh. but, a 8 year old kid who is appearnly god sends a giant comet to destroy the world and housemaster and evilkitty(Name of cat) team up. Jo leaves because he hates housemaster and wants to go back to his home deminsion.

The three go to the space station and meet up with Dog(evilly kitty's old body guard) and the four of them go to the moon for some reason. On the way there evilkitty and housemaster fall in love and have sex(A piece of bread and a Cat have sex) and Evillykitty says that she will be good.(Hence why she changes her name to goodkitty)

On the moon housemaster finds his dad and discovers he is alive. Housemaster's dad kills goodkitty then housemaster kills his dad. Dog stays behind in a crazy rage because his sister is dead. Housemaster and pickachoo go to the sacred forest to receive the house sword. They meet woogy who joins them because they helped him out. They get back to their home and discover that they were suppose to destroy the comet.

Suddenly the comet is destroyed by a ship. They meet up with the guardians of the house sword, team rocket, the crew of the ship they stole, Jo, Dog and Goodkitty (who is not dead), The main characters (Housemaster, Pikachoo, Jo, and Goodkitty.) go and fight billy. Housemaster convinces Billy that he is doing the wrong thing and then housemaster kicks billy in the nuts casing him to be sent into another demention for 1000 years. Housemaster and goodkitty get married and hapily ever after.

And that my good sirs, is a stupid plot. I dare someone to top that.

(I was far too lazy to elaborate the entire plot so someone else do that.)

Astral Harmony

01-17-2007, 07:24 PM

Bob The Mercenary

01-17-2007, 07:33 PM

Anyone remember Nights into Dreams? That shit made no sense.

I wonder if my brother would explode if I ran a circle around him.

Bells

01-17-2007, 08:52 PM

The Dead or Alive series...

Actually, a lot of fighting game series have the dumbest plots (made worse by somehow dumber voiceacting). But Dead or Alive is my personal favorite with its Kasumi clones and its ninjas and its volleyball and its unlockable Spartan character and...fine, I'll say it...it's up-in-yo'-face fan service.

The only thing that saves Dead or Alive is that Rumble Roses exists

To enforce my point...

Dead or Alive has such a bad Plot that a bad movie was made from it

Rumble Roses has SUCH a bad plot that 2 Japanese Porn Movies were made from it...

Regulus Tera

01-17-2007, 09:02 PM

Rumble Roses has SUCH a bad plot that 2 Japanese Porn Movies were made from it...

Do you have, um, tangible proof of it?

Final Fantasy XII and Vagrant Story make me die on the inside.

Yeah, but what do you know, you nun mugger?

Astral Harmony

01-17-2007, 11:31 PM

Do you have, um, tangible proof of it?

If he does, and it's live action, I don't wanna see it.

Does the Megaman series count as those with shitastified plots? I'm thinking the original and X series, though they were fun in their own right, suffered from the most uninteresting plots I've ever witnessed.

Aerozord

01-17-2007, 11:38 PM

HEY! Don't mess with Megaman (http://www.snafu-comics.com/?strip_id=216)

Bells

01-18-2007, 01:14 AM

Do you have, um, tangible proof of it?

Hey... you ask for it... but as there is no Porn in here, i will present proof in a light maner, just the covers, no Naughty bits

http://www.twsexcd.com/CDImages/MosaicDVD/200508/X2064-T1.jpg

http://girldv.net/pics/movpic/SM0085.jpg

I actually Watched one (Monbule Roses) and lets leave it at PLEASE HAVE RESPECT FOR YOURSELF and dont watch these... Gold Painting, Eggs, Flour, Water, Crying (LOTS of crying), screaming, fear... the damn thing actually made me angry... and the worst part is that its the Plot from Rumble Roses pornify

DOA didnt get me angry...

Mirai Gen

01-18-2007, 03:55 AM

Damn it, I was supposed to link to Snafu!

Oh well. I suppose I could link to Dueling Analogs (http://www.duelinganalogs.com/?date=2007-01-04), but he's got like eighty comics on Mega Man.

POS Industries

01-18-2007, 03:56 AM

Bellsouth, the first link is a combination of broken and links directly to porn. So, you know.... Thanks!

And you know, You'd be amazed what you can do with the plot to Mega Man (http://www.protomen.com/). Or just see the above poster's signature.

Satan's Onion

01-18-2007, 04:42 AM

I actually Watched one (Monbule Roses) and lets leave it at PLEASE HAVE RESPECT FOR YOURSELF and dont watch these... Gold Painting, Eggs, Flour, Water, Crying (LOTS of crying), screaming, fear... the damn thing actually made me angry... and the worst part is that its the Plot from Rumble Roses pornify

DOA didnt get me angry...

Have you never read the editorials at outpostnine.com? That's what Japanese porn does: it erodes your sanity and poisons your very soul, leaving only a withered, dead husk of a person behind it. (I'm not sure whether to actually link to the editorials I'm talking about; they're both describing porn, albeit in humorous terms, with non-explicit screenshots used to highlight such plot as these abominations contain. Rest assured, however, that they are highly risible, and underscore my point deftly.)

Astral Harmony

01-18-2007, 01:25 PM

Terrible game plots aren't always bad. More often than not, plots should only serve two purposes...

1. Connecting the player-controlled content.
2. Inspiring various entertainment options like fan fiction, kickass flash animations *like Power Star*, sprite comics, *shudder* doujinshi, soul-obliterating live-action japanese porngraphy, etc...

And your average gamer probably doesn't give a shit about either of them. Some games live and die by their plots, but for those that don't, is groundbreaking storytelling really necessary? Just give me one or two statements telling me what the hell is going on and set me loose on the enemy. That's all I ask for.

Bells

01-18-2007, 01:54 PM

Bellsouth, the first link is a combination of broken and links directly to porn. So, you know.... Thanks!

AMAGAWD! You Broke My Internets!!

Anyways... here is the other one for "meh" purposes...
http://www.vcd1.com/imageslib/T/TVD8702/TVD8702cov.jpg

Also... does the Street Fighter Plot Count as Awful?

Mirai Gen

01-18-2007, 02:17 PM

Depends on if you never saw Street Fighter II: the Animated Movie.

In which case, yes.

Fifthfiend

01-18-2007, 03:11 PM

And the first half 95% of KH2

Fixed that typo for you.

Aerozord

01-18-2007, 04:24 PM

I miss the old plotless games. Like Bomerman or metal slug. You know the games where the plot is "They aren't you, so kill them."

Stickman

01-19-2007, 12:04 AM

Hmmm I'd have to go with FFI. I can barely call the game's plot a plot, although it was a fun game.

mauve

01-19-2007, 03:36 PM

ONI. It had potential, it had great game mechanics, but it just sort of... died. Konoko is an orphan raised by the government to be an assassin, then, ZOMG!! The main bad guy, the only other person in the ENTIRE WORLD besides me who has naturally purple hair is MY BROTHER!!! Never would I have guessed!! And then... um... My robo-kid friend is killed by some dude who I apparently have some connection with... and then I meet this... ninja dude... who apparently has some connection with me but the game creators don't want to bother telling me WHAT we have in common... and then there's some cool bits with diving into an acid tank... and then... a giant... brain... computer.. thing made from the robo-kid.... And I'm angry at my boss... for.. bein' a dick or something.... so I have to choose whether to shoot him in the head or not... And then... My brother somehow becomes fifty feet tall and tries to stomp on me. The... end.

It had the makings of a decent enough plot, but it was like Rockstar got bored or something halfway through the game and decided to just throw in whatever unused portions of other games they had laying around the office and call it done.

42PETUNIAS

01-19-2007, 05:58 PM

which game is this?

mauve

01-19-2007, 09:00 PM

Oni, for the PS2, by Rockstar Games. It's pretty old; I got my copy about two or three years ago and it was already in the $8-and-under bin. It's good for a laugh and some decent freestyle gun-n-karate combat. Plus it's got fun cheat codes. But the plot's kinda wonky and the graphics are rather sucky. But for the four bucks they're charging for it, it's worth it.

And yeah, that's actually a decent summation of the plot up there. It's just as fuzzy and incomprehensible.

Magus

01-20-2007, 01:13 AM

Captain Novolin fighting the evils of diabetes.

greed

01-20-2007, 04:13 AM

It's pronounced diabeeetes, Magus. Diabeeetes.

Anyway the Red Alert series has at the same time the best and worst plot ever. Time traveling Hitler assasination and Commies.

Mirai Gen

01-20-2007, 06:06 AM

I gotta say Prince of Persia: Warrior Within had a pretty goddamn terrible storyline.

I would have had amazingly different opinions of Warrior Within had it not literally shoved you into the new Prince with his whole grunge-metal emo personality. Sure, I can totally understand the Dahaka and the storyline behind why he's tormented and angry. I just don't like being told, "Okay, like, this is what happened."

If I was running from the Dahaka for a long time, it could have done more than just say I did. I would have loved it if I watched as the Prince became slowly more tormented and fatigued. Shit, that would have made it a far better game.

Then, as I go further into it, I'm suddenly watching as the Prince and the Sandwraith are killed by the Dahaka at different points, both of which I thought I was controlling, leading to a terribly mind-boggling mess of trying to figure out how the Prince saved Kaileena anyway.

It was even worse in Two Thrones, where the Prince was - for some reason - calling himself a child and 'running away from his problems' by using a magic power he was granted to try and fix the world. I mean, what? Does Superman think he's acting like a child when he uses his invincibility to not die? Does Batman think he's not giving the criminals a fair chance when he's hiding in the shadows?

At least it wasn't like Jak II, where they - I swear to God - a "Make Evil Gun."

PyrosNine

01-21-2007, 01:49 AM

Make evil gun? Don't recall anything of the sort in Jak 2.

Though I must admit, Jak 2 is very much like PoP WW. The main character goes through 2 years of something which is only alluded to in cutscenes, he has a badass personality throughout the entire game, and they both have gameplay elements where you have to run through an obstacle course at full speed with some sort of death behind you. And then there's the fact they both use time travel.

The reference to running away from his problems was that if the prince had just killed the Vizier, stopped the sands, but didn't rewind time, he probably wouldn't have gone through all that crap with the Dahaka and the Island of time. It's meant to also be a self referential acknowledgment to the sucky plot of WW, and the events of the Two thrones had nullified Warrior within's plot. The Dark prince himself is supposed to represent the darker prince from WW as well.

Mirai Gen

01-21-2007, 05:21 AM

Okay, so Ubisoft did the Mega Man thing with Prince of Persia. I understand that.

And about Jak II, I'm just talking about the fact that during a cutscene Jak becomes all angsty and smolders with generic rage. And how did this happen? By being infused with Dark Eco, through a big gun that infuses people with Dark Eco.

They should have cut the bullshit and called it an "Evil Gun."

Honestly, I would have loved to have spent an entire game running from the Dahaka to find the old man who talks about the Island of Time. That would be wicked.

PyrosNine

01-21-2007, 03:07 PM

Honestly, I would have loved to have spent an entire game running from the Dahaka to find the old man who talks about the Island of Time. That would be wicked.

That is the plot of "Battles of Prince of Persia" for the DS. Which, mind you, has him attacking neighboring lands for that information in a Tactics-ish game. And it doesn't make sense, when apparently the prince fails in his war effort and ends up finding out some old friend of his family knew it. Couldn't he have told him sooner?

Battles of prince of persia probably would have been cooler too if it had been on a console where you could have had RTS gameplay for the battles, and then normal POP gameplay whenever you dove into a castle or ruin.

Mirai Gen

01-21-2007, 03:51 PM

Agreed.

Most games would have been infinitely more satisfying if they included player input during half of the cutscenes instead.

42PETUNIAS

01-21-2007, 03:54 PM

The Mirror Emperor

01-21-2007, 04:03 PM

Hmm...a ridiculous plotline...I'm going to have to agree with the beginner of the thread on the Minish Cap.

If you think about it thoroughly, every game plot is entirely ridiculous and unheard of. For example, there was a game where a yellow ball with a mouth ate pellets and escaped ghosts. This became Pac-Man. A pink ball sucks up things larger than he and fights a talking penguin with a cape, the premise of Kirby.

But the WORST plot idea..would have to be one already used for a movie. I.E. E.T. the game, Terminator 3, Enter The Matrix...the list goes on and on.

Mirai Gen

01-21-2007, 04:08 PM

Like metal gear solid (At least Twin Snakes, the only one i've played) where you can zoom in and stuff suring cutscenes. It doesn't seem that cool, until you realize that like every time that it's from snakes viewpoint and he's talking to a girl, that when you zoom it in it focuses on the breasts or ass of said girl.
They did that in MGS3 - Eva's got nice snacktrays - and they can do anything from that to, like I said, making the all terrible "time passing" montages actually gameplay where you do things.

42PETUNIAS

01-21-2007, 04:18 PM

Eltargrim

01-21-2007, 04:31 PM

actually, the only game to really make some cut scenes fun (didn't remember this till now) was Resident Evil 4. I loved those cut scenes that ended with a button press, and the knife fight that was done entirely by button presses was one of the most intense in the game.

The first Dark Cloud did this fairly well with it's Duel system, if I recall; basically if there was a fight they wanted to be scripted, they'd require a sequence of timed button pressed. Do it perfectly, and you got a rewards. With a mediocre performance, you get to continue on with the game. Fail, and you get to redo it. It was amusing enough.

PyrosNine

01-21-2007, 05:11 PM

Lord of Joshelplex

01-21-2007, 06:00 PM

I hear the Ninja Gaiden Sigma will change almost all the cg cinema scenes into real time gameplay, wouldn't you know it.

So apparently when in the original game Ryu had to leap out of the way of an attack or do some really cool looking dodges and attacks, you'll be the one doing it.

That would be pretty sweet. Im glad I held off getting an XB just for that one even more now.

As for a completely retarded plot, Stretch Panic. Som eveil chick makes some otehr chicks breasts gigantic and you use a demonic scarf to pop them. I am not making that one up folks.

DeviousToast

01-21-2007, 06:14 PM

Hmm... retarded plot...

Alex and Ryan cross River City in an attempt to rescue River City High and Ryan's girlfriend Cyndi from the clutches of a villain called "Slick" and allow her to shop afterwards.

h4x.m4g3

01-21-2007, 06:52 PM

The first Dark Cloud did this fairly well with it's Duel system, if I recall; basically if there was a fight they wanted to be scripted, they'd require a sequence of timed button pressed. Do it perfectly, and you got a rewards. With a mediocre performance, you get to continue on with the game. Fail, and you get to redo it. It was amusing enough.
Shenmue is the first game thatI remember doing this, with different outcomes depending on your performance. For example their were some completely optional sections/extra fights where if you lost you got robbed, or were home healing for a day. While others you would die, miss a critical plot point and be forced to do it again.

As for the worst plot ever I'd have to go with pretty much any game where you are a ninja/elite special forces/etc, and for some reason the villian decides to kidnap YOUR GIRLFRIEND/WIFE/DAUGHTER over EVERYBODY ELSE WHO ISN'T INVOLVED WITH A NINJA in the world.

Also Wrath of The Black Manta, something about you being some uber ninja in the city where one gang was kidnapping children AND dealing drugs. Gotta save them kids. But onoes they have their ninjas too and giants and robots, and guys with guns.

BigSisPrinny

01-23-2007, 09:57 PM

Shadow Hearts...
"And THAT'S why I don't believe in God."

Heh, that series was MESSED UP.
1913: cell phones... XD

Fifthfiend

01-23-2007, 10:04 PM

As for the worst plot ever I'd have to go with pretty much any game where you are a ninja/elite special forces/etc, and for some reason the villian decides to kidnap YOUR GIRLFRIEND/WIFE/DAUGHTER over EVERYBODY ELSE WHO ISN'T INVOLVED WITH A NINJA in the world.

Agreed with one caveat -

Ninja Gaiden. The original sidescrolling one.

It was totally awesome and you know it don't even lie.

BigSisPrinny

01-23-2007, 10:49 PM

You know, I was wrong.
Worst plot EVER is Gitaroo Man.
You are a teenage boy who's dog is a transforming robot from another planet, from which you are the heir to a race of people who use electric guitars to defeat their foes. Your dog also transforms you into a super hero, by throwing a guitar at you, which also makes you taller and skinnier and in spandex.
You must gather 'gitaroos' from the forces of evil, one of which flies miraculously from a priest's crotch. All of this ends in a spectacular battle, after you have collected all the 'gitaroos', where you tranform into a flaming angel and your opponent turns into a robot. And you battle in space, with your flaming guitar.
And after all this, you go back to being a short little stubby kid, who sucks at everything back on Earth.

OR

Parappa Rappa 2

Noodles take over the world.
You gain a lifetime supply of cheese, again.

Mirai Gen

01-23-2007, 11:59 PM

You know, I was wrong.
Worst plot EVER is Gitaroo Man.
You are a teenage boy who's dog is a transforming robot from another planet, from which you are the heir to a race of people who use electric guitars to defeat their foes. Your dog also transforms you into a super hero, by throwing a guitar at you, which also makes you taller and skinnier and in spandex.
You must gather 'gitaroos' from the forces of evil, one of which flies miraculously from a priest's crotch. All of this ends in a spectacular battle, after you have collected all the 'gitaroos', where you tranform into a flaming angel and your opponent turns into a robot. And you battle in space, with your flaming guitar.
And after all this, you go back to being a short little stubby kid, who sucks at everything back on Earth.
You forget the fact that you gain the magic power of confidence, and that allows you to not suck. But it doesn't fix the fact that you're two feet tall for some god-only-knows-why reason.

To be fair, however, if they had kept the theme of the game the same as Resurrection's final fight consistent it would have been a whole lot cooler. Alot less of that whole "goofy Japanese influence" thing.

Rocketlex

01-26-2007, 03:47 AM

In my mind, as someone mentioned earlier, Tales of Symphonia has one of the worst plotlines ever on a number of levels.

BIG SPOILERS

First, the game starts out about as close to Final Fantasy X as you can get without being Final Fantasy X. When they got to the big revelation that Colette would die completing the pilgrimage, I was just in shock that they were really going that far copying FFX.

Then the story just gets needlessly confusing with too many plot elements to ever be sure who's good, who's bad or even what anyone is actually doing. The game withholds information from you to create drama but only lets you in on things long after you've forgotten them and stopped caring.

Kratos being Lloyd's father. That probably should have been my cue to take out the game and forget it even existed, but I had to imagine the story was going to get better.

Instead, it got infinitely worse when the characters got to that angel city. It is at that point that the story pretty much throws up its hands and says "I don't know." Lessons are forcibly crammed down each character's throat, creating not so much character arcs as right triangles.

And then you get to the end and learn that the man behind the curtain, the person who set all the stupidly convoluted plots in motion which are tearing apart the two alternate worlds is...some emo girly-man trying to resurrect his sister. That's it. Everything. The whole point behind the wars and conspiracies and enslavement and religions and everything was some guy trying to bring his sister back. In the hands of good storytellers this might, MIGHT have been a cool twist. However, I essentially wanted to strangle anyone associated with the game at that point.

And the ending is a parade of stupid that isn't satisfying at all.

END SPOILERS

I mean, I've played bad stories and I've played bad stories, but that was quite simply the worst story I've ever experienced in a video game.

42PETUNIAS

01-26-2007, 07:54 AM

Well, the whole kratos being Llyods father was really obvious. Me and my friend were playing it near the start, he had beaten it before, and he said there was a big twist halfway through. I guessed that it was kratos being Llyods father, and he got angry because I was right. The scene where they met made it just that obvious to me.

Noodlesis

01-26-2007, 12:15 PM

Noodles take over the world.
You gain a lifetime supply of cheese, again.

We threatened to do it! Nobody took us seriously! NOW LOOK WHERE THEY ARE!

mauve

01-26-2007, 03:18 PM

Draken: The Ancients' Gates. Your job is to open three gates to awaken the Dragon Mother, who will come forth with all her dragony minions to destroy the evil Desert Lords. The rest of the plot is a bunch of mini-quests that are fun, but don't really connect with one another: "Kill the spiders in this guy's basement. Slay this random dude who steals women's skin. Oh, and um... There's a gate over there. Fly next to it and it'll open." You travel through some fantastic-looking worlds that are great for exploring, you slay various monsters on land and fly through the skies on a dragon, which is fun, but how are you rewarded at the end? A narrator says, "And so, Rynn and Arokh open the portals, and the Dragon Mother emerges and fights the Desert Lord in an awesome battle that we won't bother to animate and show you, we'll just mention it in passing like it's NOT something you've been waiting all this time to see. So here's an artist's renditioning of... dragons flying. The end. Go home."

Melfice

01-26-2007, 04:16 PM

Yeah, I know what you mean.

Drakan: Order of the Flame was quite a bit better, I thought, although I can't remember much of it. >_>

Mirai Gen

01-26-2007, 04:43 PM

Must not have been that good then.

Oh, and Soul Calibur. Everyone in the game is looking for Soul Edge, and every time the new game comes out, cannonically Sigfried/Nightmare really was the victor of that contest.

And Chronicles of Swords mode was just terrible.

Melfice

01-26-2007, 04:59 PM

Well, I remember the general storyline, but I can't truly recall it. It has been quite a while now.

Kenryoku_Maxis

01-26-2007, 05:55 PM

Worst idea for game plots I have seen...

Cyborg Ken 2020: Old Capcom NES game that had Ken from, yes, Street Fighter 1, as a Cyborg fighting baddies in the year 2020.

Pretty much any MMO but especially Star Wars Galaxies. Suddenly Jedi, hundreds of them! Luke and Leia landing on Tattoine daily! And look out, the Imperials suddenly took over Tatooine and now Vader has landed on the planet for the 4th time today! And he was just on Courscant. Amazing since it takes like 182 days to warp from Courscant to Tatooine according to some other games...

Final Fantasy VII after disk 2, FFX and Tactics. My opinion not shared by hardly anyone and let's not get into it because...yeah.

Arg, I'm not being able to think of much else right now.

DeviousToast

01-26-2007, 11:22 PM

Tactics is just poorly translated. There actually IS a good story there.

Magus

01-26-2007, 11:55 PM

Niveras

01-28-2007, 12:06 PM

I never even really noticed the poor translation in Tactics until it was pointed out. I think there was one or two instances where I thought it was a spelling error or some glitch of grammar, but when I last played through it, there were a ton more.

It was a good story nonetheless. Save the sister, save the world. From the church controlled by the demons who originally put it in danger to begin with, and all the fun twists along the way.

Fifthfiend

01-28-2007, 12:30 PM

Oh, you know what was godawful, was Grandia III.

I mean it actually started out sort of sweet and charming, and then at right about hour ten it's like okay we're dumping every plot element you remotely gave a shit about, PS the earth is going to explode.

Kenryoku_Maxis

01-28-2007, 03:36 PM

minnerthecat

01-28-2007, 03:56 PM

Well I read through most of the posts but skipped a few so I don't know if anyones said this. I think "true crime - streets of LA" has probably the worst storyline ever. Here's the basic angle: you get busted by the police for somthing or other and they figure that the best way to punish you is to make you a cop... I SUMMON BABY PANDA HORDES ON THE GAME'S CREATORS!!

http://pharyngula.org/images/baby_pandas.jpg

ATTACK MY CHILDREN!! And so, justice was served...

greed

01-28-2007, 04:07 PM

Bah those are nothing, I present the tentacle mole!
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/2/27/StarnoseMole23.jpg

Oh and I'll add Mario Party.

Yeah it had a story. Sort of.

Aerozord

01-28-2007, 04:24 PM

now that I think about it, isn't any series a bad plot?

Bowser
Dracula
ect
How many times do we have to kill these people before they stay dead? And remember in half these games you kill the baddie with your own two hands and SEE HIM DIE

42PETUNIAS

01-28-2007, 04:27 PM

that should probably be changed to any old series. I mean, people actually work hard on plots nowadays. I mean, at least for the good games.

Mirai Gen

01-28-2007, 04:31 PM

Kenryoku_Maxis

01-28-2007, 06:22 PM

Well to be fair, they kind of retconned Castlevania to say that Dracula will never die provided chaos is in the heart of man. So, yeah, he's immortal.

And I don't know what to say about bowser.

PS: Retcon is too a word.

Castlevania could have had a good, and fixed, plot if they used their 1999 idea. But now they went with the whole Soma Cruz idea for money...which I don't blame them. Money wise, its one of the best ideas in gaming history and one of the most successful on the GBA and DS. But game plot wise, its hurting Castlevania worse than anything else where before it was suppose to fix all the gaps.

And we are never going see the 'epic' battle of 1999 in our lifetime made into a game.

As for game designers never making good stories now adays, there's a few. But I do say there are fewer. But then, there wren't a lot back in the day if you really think about it. We were just younger and thought they were better. But some were thought out a little better back then for consistency, although the plot was kinda laughable. There just wasn't as much oppertunity for graphics and story back then so it was substituted for gameplay. Now adays they're just making games have bigger and better powers, flashier graphics, copying other games, longer and longer CG sequences, longer and longer stories and more and more time devoted to watching instead of playing the actual game.

Sadly, a great example of this is Suikoden, my favorite RPG series.

01d55

01-28-2007, 07:25 PM

Yeah, Tactics was good, and I didn't think the translation was THAT bad, it was on par with most of its contemporaries, really.

I remember there being a game on the NES called Kabuki Quantum Fighter. You played as a Kabuki actor who had to fight robots using only his HAIR, which he would whip at them to destroy them.

What makes this extra hilarious is that Kabuki actors traditionally have to shave most of their hair off. (Specifically, they have to look like they've got male pattern baldness.)