View Full Version : on the Job Hillarity
Exoduselder
02-20-2004, 12:29 AM
Alright as I am sure most of you have guessed by now I really am a witch doctor for an occupation so what i am threading about now is on the job hillarity and i am sure most of you who work ave an expeince like this because even i do (i'll tell mine later...)
JoeCB
02-20-2004, 04:22 AM
THsi one isint that funny but i liek telling stoires.
We are building a concrete bunker/gazabo/pavilion and all we do ther is speak with a russian acent and say stupid things like "In soviet russia, concrete finishes you!" Da. Earlier this week, one of the guys stepped on a board with nails in it and stabbbed himself in the foot. He bled all over the palce, it was pretty funny, so we were giving him all kinds of sthi over it. The next day guess what happens, I 'm stomping on some boards and I stab myself in the foot. Very good. ¬_¬ Now they give me shti for it. then what happens today? We now have three punctured feet. We might want to start removing the nails from the boards after we strip them from concrete da? nyet.
Really everyday something funny happens, but I can never remember it.
In soviet russia Nail hammers YOU!
Mike McC
02-20-2004, 11:29 AM
This just goes to show the boundlessness of human stupidity.
I'm working over in the toy departemnt at Walmart, stocking as usual. Three black girls (12-14 years old, I'd say), singing and danceing, walk by the department, which was a bit add, seeing as how it was about 11:30 at night on a Tuesday. Anyway, a moment later, I hear the fire-exit door alarm sounding from back behind the sporting goods section. I walk over there (it's the next department over) too see what was going on, in no particular rush because I know the manager is over in the department already. As I get in front of the counter there, those three black girls walk by me, and I overhear one of them saying "I was sure that the bathroom was through there!"
So, apparently the warnings, and the picture of the guy running away from fire, was not suffecient enough to tell these three girls that this was not the toilet. Yeah.
synkr0nized
02-20-2004, 02:32 PM
People have come into where I used to work, at a well-known electronics store, and asked such stupid questions or made such ignorant statements that my department had a list of them in our department files. I'm willing to bet the other ones did, as well. I've actually witnessed some of the ones in there.
Anyway, I'll just pass one off for now:
"Where do you sell your electronics?"
Deathosaurus Wrecks
02-20-2004, 02:45 PM
I work in the Sears Tower in chicago (the very bottom floor of one of the world's largest buildings, mind you) and whenever i come into work on the weekends, there are always people trying to figure out how to get to the Skydeck. however, there is a very, very large sign over the entrance on Jackson street says "Skydeck", and people keep trying to get in on the wrong side. so the poor security guards have to tell every group of tourists "go around to the jackson entrance. the jackson entrance. go out and around the corner."
and i thought, why not put up a sign that says "if you're looking for the skydeck, go around the corner." then i realize that it wouldn't fucking matter, because people wouldn't read the sign either.
Exoduselder
02-20-2004, 02:50 PM
Alright here at my shop I have a resident black cat named Max. So one day this guy comes in and starts you know playing with Max and hiding his catnip mouse the next thing you know I hear this noise that sounds like a "mreaowar"<insert bad sound effect joke here>
so I go to check i out and max is stuck on the fan to his toy and is getting flung around until WHAM he finally lets go and gets flung into the wall the cat was fine but the fan was a little ou of shape...
Heres another
One day this girl just storms in asks me for the price of a voodoo doll and i say welll that depends on the model of the voodd doll and how effective it is Now mind most of the time people come in for candels and stuff for wicca and crystals and things I hardly ever sell voodoo dolls So i tell her that my best doll which is specially made by this one women who lives down on the bayou ( i get lots of stuff from her) from gator skin and other stuff cost about $50 (normally it would be more but i don't sell many) anyhow she buys it. I ask her what she wants it for and she says in an evil tone "HER EX" so later that daythis guy and this girl come in and all the sudden the guy just screams "OW!" and grabs his chest for no reason apparently then he screams again this time his leg. I ask the guy if hes alright he says "well what do you think" buys a candle and leaves but not before screaming "OH MY GOD." and grabbing his pants. Then I realazed the girl from earlier was across the street at a caffe playing around with the voodoo doll she boought.
Needless to say i now have proof that most of my products that i sell work.
Meister
02-20-2004, 03:51 PM
I do say, you have a most interesting profession... *thumbs up*
There's not that much to say from "my" movie theater... although I liked how one day two or three guys came in, all dressed in black with long coats and sunglasses, at which point I developed telepathy and instantly knew what movie they were going to see. Matrix: Revolutions. (And, mind you, they were the only ones who went to see it, since it was five in the afternoon... overdressing much?) I, having seen it beforehand, could hardly supress a snicker and derived great joy from seeing them come out two hours later, sans shades and their coats folded up as tiny as possible and half-hidden about their persons; they may just have been hot in there, but I think we know better...
And I once had a film reel that decided to take off and spin halfway across the room. Which isn't all that funny, actually... if a reel (that is to say, a whole movie, not just a part) falls down, you can expect to spend a good four to five hours cutting and reassembling it (you can't pick them up, they get all tangled). I reached the off button in time, but it was really really weird. Normally they don't fly away just like that.
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