Smartest Character

[iBrow]

I think theif is the smartest based on all his conning of the others. They weren't able to out think him. He even got Matoya!

[transcend]

EPS.

Theif has one trick up his sleeve, and that's that. And even he got conned by Akbar and Jeff. And his hatred for Dwarves slows them all down.

EPS, on the other hand, is all genius. Complete genius. No evidence of anything resembling stupidity at any time.

[Devil Wet His Pants]

I was going to vote for Thief til' I saw the EPS button. And you know, it's not even a contest. She's a fish-out-of-water in a world full of idiots.

[Mikorlias Zard]

Akbar isn't hugely intelligent, he is merely non-stupid, and takes advantage of all the stupid people.
Fighter is usually brainless, but he has his moments (see episode 272).
Black Mage, like Akbar, is merely non-stupid (most of the time, see episode 279-80 for an exception) and looks down upon his stupid companions.
Mayatoya is intelligent, and managed to beat Thief at his own game... once, though he got her in the end.
Thief is also intelligent, moreso than Mayatoya, and he hates Dwarves, a definite contender!
White Mage, although wise, is not intelligent enough to find any lasting way to deal with Black Mage, and how moral can someone be if they always use force to deal with their problems?
Evil Princess Sara, as well as being the ultimate oppurtunist, also threatened me with an eternity of eternity of torture in the depths of the Corneria Marmite factory if I did not vote for her... so that's my vote for EPS (sorry Thief).

Mikorlias Zard

[LoadBalinor]

I almost went for Thief, but I think EPS takes the win. BM has power not brains. Akbar is just an opertunist. While RM has moments of pure intellect, he still needs to boost his int score more.

[Joe Falco]

EPS all the way! I mean she was able to look through Garland's incredibly genius sheet plan! That takes brainpower...
lol

[Neverwhere]

thief baby!

[Edit]

Crap.. didnt see EPS button :(

[Joe Falco]

Well now you done it. You have to live with the fact that you voted for Thief and EPS is not going to do a darn thing about it because she already knows she is the smartest and doesn't need a freaking poll to prove that! ;)

[MC43]

I guess I'll take the minority again and Vote WM. She's the one who's trying to keep the original Light warriors together.

[Dark Charger]

It's got to be Red Mage! He could just dumb all his other stats unto INT and he could outsmart EPS without even realizing it.

[ShinRa Incorporated]

Once they get far enough, the smartest character will be Dr. Unne O_o

[Deckmaster]

I voted Red Mage, because he's smarter than he looks, but reality keeps getting in the way. My problem exactly.

[Bezo]

I demand this poll be taken down until the master of sword-chucks gets his recognition as the smartiest guy in the whole universe. Sword-chucks = genius.

[Rhianwen]

I totally agree with Bezo. I voted for Evil Princess Sara, just because Fighter wasn't there, and she was the next best option. ^_^

[Katzedecimal]

I ignored most of the guest characters and chose instead to concentrate on the Light Warriors (teams A and B), mainly because, although we've seen lots of EPS and Matoya, we haven't seen nearly as much of them as we have of the Light Warriors. We've seen them more at their best moments, whereas we see the everyday bickering AND best moments of the LWs. Overall, based on what we've seen so far, yes, EPS would take the prize.

Of the Light Warriors, BM once took the prize not so much because he was intelligent, but because he was the least stupid. :rolleyes: A fine distinction but nevertheless valid. He's since been overshadowed by Thief, who has proven himself to be the most intelligent of the Light Warriors, relegating poor BM to sarcastic-sidekick status.

Le meas
-==- Katzedecimal

[iBrow]

I didn't include fighter because he's never really potrayed as an intelligent character. I admit that, despite black mage's potrayal, he might not be the stupidest character, as he has had some moments of intelligence, he has a whole lot more moments of complete stupidity. Okay, some of the moments, it is argued, are just naiveity. But he hasn't learned anything since then. He remains naive inregard to the same events repeatedly. That is stupidity.

[Joe Falco]

But Fighter did accidently outwit one of the Dark Warriors and he was not completely aware of the consequences of his actions. He sold off part of BM's treasure in Thief's contract for a piece of really good candy instead of selling his. He can be tricky and intelligent but that's only because of his low intelligence stats that like Red Mage has mentioned can produce unexpected results.

[Sky Warrior Bob]

Akbar is the best. He's conned Thief (with phoney amnesia dust), Sara (also w/ phoney amnesia dust), and White Mage (with a faulty smoke bomb & a faulty airship).

As a salesman, he's a genious. Of course, beyond that, we don't know, as we've never met him in person just yet.

Sky Warrior Bob

[LordRyantheGreat]

It has to be EPS, no doubt about it. To all those who voted RM, he has knowledge but not wisdom, intelect/smartness is a combination of the two, so it can't be him.
*Cowers from fear of RM fans*

Oh yeah, iBrow has an awesome avatar, Legos rule!

[Ryto]

EPS is the smartest. No question about it. But that is only because everyone else is stupid.

[Tark]

Dr Unne will definitely be the smartest, i mean, he was able to get a doctorate in a world without a university!!!

[Sky Warrior Bob]

I guess I'll take the minority again and Vote WM. She's the one who's trying to keep the original Light warriors together.

And that proves intelligence, how? Seriously, White Mage would be intelligent, if not for her blinding faith that sometimes leads her down the wrong path.

I mean, obviously destiny went a bit off course, as the people who were "destined" to be the Light Warriors, didn't get the job. When things come up that test White Mage's faith, I can see her doing something of a "La La La, I'm not listening" routine.

And why is Akbar *NOT* in first place? I already told all you people AKBAR FOOLED PRINCESS SARA!!

Where else do you think she got the same phoney amnesia dust from? It is only because of her willpower & Fighter's stupidity, that she was able to make it work.

Sky Warrior Bob

[Tulip Toes]

akbar conned the pirates into buying a lot of cheetos to get rid of scurvy XD that was funny

[Hamelin]

Dr Unne's going to be one of those crackpot scientists. Lots of brains, but lack of good application. He'll be making four wheel drive canoes and translating extinct languages into other extinct languages.

[iBrow]

Dr Unne will definitely be the smartest, i mean, he was able to get a doctorate in a world without a university!!!
How do you know there's no unniversity? Maybe you just never run into it in the game... that doesn't mean there isn't one. That, or maybe he just declared himself a doctor without one. Did you ever actually see the doctorate?

[Tark]

Amnesia Dust To The Face!!

[Juno X]

Thief has got to be the smartest one there. He tricked BM( also fighter, but he wouldn't know a trick if he was part of one)!

[dee_red_mage]

if you actually think about it and re-read 8bt, fighter is acctually smart. it is just TV that has poisoned his brilliant mind. And remember the time distortion and the guide to swordchucks thats more proof. Oh and see the thread Fighters Brain
-Red Mage :rmage

[Juno X]

Swordchucks are uniqe, but that dosn't change the fact that fighter is stupid(By TV or by being dropped on his head).

[dee_red_mage]

I know that he is incredibly stupid i mean he is too stupid to even die. but still if you repair his head if he wuz dropped and remove any TV poisoning he would be smarter than I (Red Mage), if you know what I mean.
-Red Mage :rmage:

[Lost in Time]

Hey how com Dr. Swordopolis isn't on this poll? I would of voted for him if he was on there. I mean he is the smartest, he knows how to splice time. Now you just made me vote for Red Mage (the second smartest, only to Dr. Swordopolis).

[Juno X]

He's a Freakin Dream-Hallucination-Thingy!!

[Kaldar]

It really depends on what's going on at the time. Red Mage has the potential to have the highest Int, but only in times of crisis. Otherwise, it's probably the con man.

[iBrow]

Dr. Swordopolis isn't a "dream halucination thingy," he has actually altered reality when he saved fighter's life. His ability to splice time doesn't show that he's smart... it's just a cool power that he has. And like Dr. Unne, we are just taking it from him that his doctorate is real, so that has no effect.

[lymerion]

EPS, no doubt. She is the only one capable of defeating the light warriors. Hell, it would have been done already had it not been for Garland's lack of real evilness. Something's gonna happen soon with her, I can feel it.

[Juno X]

If she was such an evil Geneius, than why, pray tell, was she using such dense, nay, incompetent, Pawns?

[Daer-San]

RM ofcourse!
How could he even be stupid being so versatile?

[#@®®¡$]

EPS.

EPS's only failure was to trust Garland.

[Psi_Zeta]

Alright I begrudingly voted for EPS well mostly because it's true but I still like to think my hero can outsmart her... eventually.... well maybe not... it's only because of the intense homicidal rage that he is always teetering on because of fighter... yeah that's the ticket I blame fighter for draining BM's int score...

[behemoth]

black mage is the smartest AND the coolest

[Lit 3]

Unless I find out that EPS was adopted and shares absolutely no genetics with King Steve, I'm gonna lean towards RM, anyone who can alter their stats to their liking and has that much wisdom about animals, monsters, and flora etc. deserves that much.

[Sever"n"steal]

Thief is the smartest f******ing :eek: character (er...sorry)

:fighter:

:thief: <Hey whats fighter doing up there!?

:fighter: I like swor...

Shut up and DIE!!!!

*STAB*

Thief: I don't think you were supposed to do that BM

Black Mage: Meh

[BigBadBrad]

It Would have to be either EPS or theif but i'm pretty sure if theif wanted to con EPS he could!!

[Arkan15]

EPS. She's the only remotley non-stupid villain, and a lot smarter than the majority of the light warriors. Black Mage comes in second, followed by thief. RM is pretty low, as all that stat-changification-stuff never actually works. He's clever, but not very smart.

[safetysteal]

When i first saw the thread i thought "Thief" and then I saw that EPS was a choice. Hands down EPS, she has done less stupid things than anyone else.

[reality_deviant]

HAH! There. I dared to be different and voted for Matoya. She's by far not my FAVORITE character, but, y'know, she's pretty crafty. She was somehow able to figure out all the LWs' individual weaknesses, and display them clearly on a large sign. Who among us could truly resist an offer for pie that is also evil? I, for one, cannot make that claim.

[Sarah Chlyallia]

Evil Princess Sara of course.

[Cjc]

Matoya did not make those Signs, that was EPS at Garland's Castle. However, Matoya was clever with her contracts, her poison cookies, and her organ imploding trap (Which hit fighter, and was awefully funny)

Moving on...
Fighter definitely has to be slightly intelligent if he invented Staff Chucks (The ultimate weapon) though he needs to think of a better design for sword chucks (Possibly one with handles so that he doesn't cut up his hands using them.

Anyways, Princess Sara is unbelievably smart because it's a big joke. In the actual game, she only says two things, so making her this evil mastermind is really spicing up the comic. That's why I voted for her.

[Codemonkey85]

I demand this poll be taken down until the master of sword-chucks gets his recognition as the smartiest guy in the whole universe. Sword-chucks = genius.

:fighter: Univarse. It's pronounced "univarse". ;)

Okay, time to break it down:

Thief: Without a doubt he is number one. Sure, he's let himself slip here and there, but by far his intelligence outstrips any of the other characters (not that that's saying much). Of course, his knowledge of legalese may not quite equate to the massive amount of useless facts RM knows, but at least Thief uses his information well.

Evil Princess Sara: I put her at second because, while she has done a minimum of stupid things, she also hasn't managed to actually do anything. I mean, she's still in the castle with King Steve. Why? Anyway, she's been kidnapped several times, so she can't really be that smart.

Red Mage: I'd say Red Mage has to be the third smartest character in the bunch. I would have put him in first, since he has displayed hundreds of times that he knows of things such as quantam physics and superdimensional cubes. However, his weakness lies in the fact that, were he asked to add two and two, he'd take four hours to explain that the answer is five.

Akbar: He managed to trick countless people into buying things they don't need, and that don't generally work. Now, this could be more dishonesty than intelligence, but then why hasn't he been caught or sued? He must have some sort of contingency plan or something.

White Mage: I put her just above Black Mage, because she obviously has the brains to combat BM's constant unwanted pick up lines and such. Of course, she'd never resort to simple insults... just extreme violence. On that note, she's probably killed enough of his brain cells to widen the gap even further.

Black Mage: I really thought I'd be putting him up as number 2 (or in that range), but whaddya know? BM certainly has a high potential for intelligence, but he lets things get in his way. Namely, Fighter and White Mage. If these two variables were eliminated from his life, I guarantee he'd be happier and more successful. Or, at the very least, White Mage would be happier.

Matoya: Meh... she said it herself, she didn't have to sit around and wait for some random heros to help her get her crystal back.

Black Belt: Surprisingly enough, he was not in this poll. Anyway, I put him at the bottom because his sense of direction is so poor, he actually managed to get himself and WM around an ocean without ever approaching it, completely by accident. Then again, he gets props for the following line: "You try walking a straight line without bumping into wave functions of neighboring realities. (http://www.nuklearpower.com/daily.php?date=030715)"

And now, a whole different category of "intelligence"....

Fighter: Oh brother. It is impossible by any human means to measure Fighter's intelligence (or lack thereof). It would seem that Fighter is highly afflicted with what is known as the "Gilligan Syndrome"; named for the theory that Gilligan was not stupid, but rather, he messed up the group's efforts to leave the island on purpose, realizing that they were living in paradise. Fighter's stupidity has been said (by RM) to be so massive that it folds upon itself and acts out as intelligence. Isn't that saying something? Nevertheless, he should have been in the poll.

Well, that's my rant. I'm done, you can leave now. Seriously.

[01d55]

EPS has my vote, from the list. Thief has the whole elvish pride thingy blinding him to certain things. Akbar took fake money from thief (although it was for fake memory dust) Matoya got conned by thief.

Doctor beats them all, though. He conned thief AND Astos for years, and got away with it too!

[Exoduselder]

Akbar in an episode HE FOOLED EPS... he takes advantage of everything he possibly can giving and ill give him my blessing and vote of confidince EPS can threatin me all she wants but i am more powerfull AND I will reveal the Truth... But something tells me fighter might be smarter than we give him credit for...

[Item]

Somewhere between EPS, Akbar, and Thief. But I voted for Thief.

[Legendary_Fenrir]

Theif. I think that he's the only one who doesn't say idiotic things, do idiotic things, or think up ludicrous plans.

[Fifthfiend]

Really EPS is all talk. Just look at the record:

-repeatedly kidnapped
-Threw her support behind Garland.
-Critically underestimated the Forest Imps, leading to the utter failure of her Garland-fronted schemes
-Stands idly by and watches King Steve's rampant destruction of the land/ incitement of the populace, which is eventually bound to lead to a revolt which is just as likely to claim her life as Steve's
-Proved she was good with swords, when she beat the giant, which by this comic's rules means she's bound to be secretly dumb.

I went with Black Mage on a matter of definitions. Thief repeatedly outsmarts him, but that's less intelligence than it is charisma and a great deal of raw cunning. I feel that BM by definition has to be the smartest, since black magic probably takes a great deal of intelligence to master -- as all should know, in FF INT is the critical stat for a Black Mage (which is why I went with him over White Mage -- they always get Wisdom).