Random-ass inventions! (Random ass-inventions) [Archive]

bluestarultor

12-09-2008, 11:55 PM

Imagine, if you would, a ring made out of a permanent magnet, with the poles running along the sides, split down the linear center. Now imagine it being put inside a magnetic cuff of the same, but opposite, so that the inside of the cuff repels the outside of the ring to keep it floating. The ring is one of several appropriate cross-sectional shapes (oval, square, triangular, hell, effing star-shaped. anything but a circle) to keep it from turning and having the chance of it sticking to one side or another of the hole through the cuff.

Now imagine having some sort of tether or chain (preferably something light) and a handle with possibly a spike or blade on it for close encounters and secondary use.

What you end up with is essentially a ring with a possibly sharp outer edge floating without concern for friction from anything but air that can be thrown and retrieved easily and will take a LONG time to stop spinning, plus a stabby thingy on the handle in case it gets knocked to the ground or otherwise made difficult to retrieve. The cuff might also have a handle to allow a bladed ring to be used safely for melee. Obviously, there would be different versions.

The main benefits of this would be the ability to easily keep it spinning and the possibility of trapping another iron-based weapon with it either via shape or magnetism. Also, the ability to throw it and get it back is a plus, if you can compensate for the cuff and tether, or if a blade isn't a concern roll it across the ground. If you REALLY want to get high tech, you can fit it with a motor in the cuff to start/keep it spinning and choose between a perpendicular or parallel handle for your very own spinning ring sword/katar.

The Artist Formerly Known as Hawk

12-10-2008, 02:09 AM

http://i78.photobucket.com/albums/j96/Logicone/RocketPropelledChainsaw.jpg

Rocket propelled chainsaw anyone?

phil_

12-10-2008, 02:39 AM

Why exactly is the thread title repeated in parentheses?

Premmy

12-10-2008, 03:19 AM

to indicate that the thread is about both inventions that are random-ass and inventions that were randomly created by an ass.

Lost in Time

12-10-2008, 03:31 AM

I think it came from this comic here:
http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/hyphen.jpg

phil_

12-10-2008, 03:36 AM

Oh, look at that, the hyphen did move. How unobservant of me. Carry on.

Mr.Bookworm

12-10-2008, 10:59 AM

Chainsaw arrow. (Bolt, technically)

Only a little bigger than normal bolts, too.

The front of the arrow is mini-chainsaw, and the back is the (tiny) powerbox with stabilizer fins and a accelerometer. The box starts powering the chainsaw when the meter reads a certain speed.

Specially make a crossbow to accomadate it.

Look like a badass.

Loyal

12-10-2008, 06:34 PM

Exactly how useful is an airborne chainsaw anyway? I mean the collision would hurt like hell, but I don't see it doing any more damage than an ordinary blade being propelled in the same way, seeing as it wouldn't exactly have the time to saw through much without anything to hold it in place.

TDK

12-10-2008, 06:51 PM

The title was a reference to the XKCD comic, yes.

Exactly how useful is an airborne chainsaw anyway? I mean the collision would hurt like hell, but I don't see it doing any more damage than an ordinary blade being propelled in the same way, seeing as it wouldn't exactly have the time to saw through much without anything to hold it in place.

Well a similar problem applies to the Bear Spear, but like the Bear Spear it has a secondary purpose, ie intimidation, and also secondary use as a melee weapon/cutting tool.

Mr.Bookworm

12-10-2008, 06:55 PM

Loyal

12-10-2008, 07:26 PM

"Badass" falls short when a weapon fails to even function in its badass way.

You can have weapons that are impractical while totally awesome (for example, loading a trebuchet with frag grenades, or this here (http://www.schlockmercenary.com/d/20070430.html)), but due to the aforementioned problem, a flying chainsaw is little more than a very heavy ballistic bludgeon with a bit of "cut" in it.

Well a similar problem applies to the Bear Spear, but like the Bear Spear it has a secondary purpose, ie intimidation, and also secondary use as a melee weapon/cutting tool. The chainsaw knuckles are fine since they have something to hold them in place while they work: i.e. your hand. I'm talking about the Rocket propelled and Crossbow varieties. Granted they'd give your wrist a terrible deal of stress, but that is within tolerable levels of impracticality.

TDK

12-10-2008, 08:42 PM

Granted they'd give your wrist a terrible deal of stress

Hm, I hadn't thought of that. Though, I've used a chainsaw occasionally and it isn't particularly hard to hold in place, though, yes, a bit hard. But flesh is much less dense, and even bone wouldn't be much worse than wood at best. Chainsawing through someone would really be fairly easy. The thickest bone in the human body is still only about as thick as a big stick. At worst it would take a bit of effort to go through with a regular chainsaw. Obviously the knuckles wouldn't be good for sawing limbs off and such, its more for surface damage/deterrence/self defense/maybe torture.

...Anyway.

Yeah, the rocket propelled chainsaw and such isn't that great, although possibly if you consider the initial hit, if direct, would sink it in a little and the rocket would continue to push it through you. But, as loyal said, a normal blade would be much better. Especially considering that cutting with the tip of the chainsaw is something you want to avoid.

I'm liking the direction this thread is going, debate in physics and practicality about absurd things. XD

Edit: Found something interesting in the wiki article for chainsaws.

Also, in the interests of safety it is advisable to not allow genitals to touch the sharp bit. It is sharp.

XD

Wigmund

12-10-2008, 09:39 PM

Practicality isn't an issue, it's how badass you look.

And nothing is more badass than using chainsaws in inventive ways.

I was gonna put a picture of the ninja wielding chainsaw-chucks from Dr. McNinja (http://drmcninja.com/page.php?pageNum=38&issue=5)...
but then I found this List of melee weapons that don't exist, but should (http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/List_of_melee_weapons_that_don%27t_exist,_but_shou ld) and a picture of shotgun-chucks
http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/2/27/Shotgunchucks.png
I don't know which I'd love more.

BitVyper

12-10-2008, 10:28 PM

If we're going to put chainsaws on everything, I want chainsaw armour.

TopHatAssassin

12-10-2008, 11:12 PM

One time in highschool I would design all these guns on my lunchbreak (I like guns, especially absurd ones). There were your standard heavy beam rifles, beam cannons, revolvers, shotguns, machine guns, those kinds of things. There was a plasma grenade in there too, for good measure. But sometimes I went a little overboard with the designs.

For example! One time my friend commissioned me to design her a revolver, so I did just that. It included a scope, a bayonet, a silencer, a hammer extension, a spare clip (I don't know the word, but think six bullets stuck on one of those plastic tree-things), a rear-storage container with two special bullets inside (I like to think radioactive), and a condom pouch. It was beautiful.

I've thought of a few other things, too, though I wouldn't say they're quite as out there as I'd like. One was something I called a "loudener" (it made for more bang). And the other, I actually thought I might've been onto something. It was a pump-action shotgun, but instead of inserting shells one by one, it was belt-fed. That one was my favourite, and I really wanted it to work. But now they've got those automatic shotguns so that one's kinda gone.

EDIT: I can't find the original, but this is more or less what it looked like back in highschool.
http://i29.photobucket.com/albums/c294/TopHatAssassin/beltfedshotgun.jpg

Roughly. I was sketching it out earlier and I thought of adding a bipod. But not right now, it doesn't look all that heavy.

The Artist Formerly Known as Hawk

12-11-2008, 02:30 AM

One time in highschool I would design all these guns on my lunchbreak (I like guns, especially absurd ones). There were your standard heavy beam rifles, beam cannons, revolvers, shotguns, machine guns, those kinds of things. There was a plasma grenade in there too, for good measure. But sometimes I went a little overboard with the designs.

For example! One time my friend commissioned me to design her a revolver, so I did just that. It included a scope, a bayonet, a silencer, a hammer extension, a spare clip (I don't know the word, but think six bullets stuck on one of those plastic tree-things), a rear-storage container with two special bullets inside (I like to think radioactive), and a condom pouch. It was beautiful.

I've thought of a few other things, too, though I wouldn't say they're quite as out there as I'd like. One was something I called a "loudener" (it made for more bang). And the other, I actually thought I might've been onto something. It was a pump-action shotgun, but instead of inserting shells one by one, it was belt-fed. That one was my favourite, and I really wanted it to work. But now they've got those automatic shotguns so that one's kinda gone.

I used to do this too, including the belt fed shotgun, but mine was a pure gatling 12 gauge. It was uber.

And can anyone find that picture of the katana handled crobar pistol thing? I've been looking but can't seem to find it anywhere.

Kaneda

12-11-2008, 03:00 AM

If it's practical then it's not truly awesome.

http://img185.imageshack.us/img185/6967/picture40di8.png

Also whatever the hell this SkyMall thing is (http://www.skymall.com/images/products/APC/102181776d.jpg), but people sized. It would be like being an astronaut. Only a toilet.

bluestarultor

12-11-2008, 12:28 PM

I used to do this too, including the belt fed shotgun, but mine was a pure gatling 12 gauge. It was uber.

And can anyone find that picture of the katana handled crobar pistol thing? I've been looking but can't seem to find it anywhere.

Ask and you shall receive!

http://i36.tinypic.com/30vzm0m.jpg

The Artist Formerly Known as Hawk

12-11-2008, 01:18 PM

Hehe, thanks Blue, I'll save that so I don't lose it again.

Oh and if we're adding chucks to stuff as well now, then I propose gunchucks (as apposed to shotgunchucks). Now you might think a standard handgunchuck vs shotgunchuck might be a one sided battle, but if you were to take the time to learn Gun Kata those pistolchucks sound a whole lot more dangerous.

Verwind

12-12-2008, 04:54 PM

An I.W.I.N. button. It can only be pressed once, so nobody uses it because they fear that they will waste it. Because of that, nobody knows what it does.

Ryong

12-12-2008, 05:36 PM

http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/2/27/Shotgunchucks.png

...What's the point!? It's not like you could possibly shoot the part that's flailing around or something...

Si Civa

12-12-2008, 05:42 PM

Tank-chucks which shoot chainshaws and are piloted by kangaroos.
The kangaroos are also drunk.

Now, let's see how stupid idea that was.

Doc ock rokc

12-12-2008, 09:30 PM

Ladies and Gentlemen allow me to introduce THE WHIP GUN
6763
Cowboy hat and trench coat are optional
The thought of this is that a normal gun brakes the sound barrier only once with its bullet this one the barrel of the gun brakes the sound barrier and then the bullet breaks it again making not only the bullet extremely deadly but also causing a sonic boom to follow after the bullet and knock down troops. the aim would be tricky but i think if you do it right the end result would be satisfying

also i have seen that our "Inventions" are all weapons...

Magic_Marker

12-12-2008, 10:21 PM

There are....other inventions?

FloralVikings

12-12-2008, 10:56 PM

There are....other inventions?

Nope.

I wanted to cross a guitar with a rifle. Like, have the barrel inside the neck, with a pop-off truss rod cover. It would be fired by rolling the volume knob up and then pulling it out. Only problem is, it'd break your strings. And probably wouldn't sound too good either.

Another good chainsaw one? Key sized chainsaws. You could put like six of them on a key ring and just run around hitting people with them. It'd be fucking amazing. With some kind of wrist guard so you don't, you know, remove your own hand.

Krylo

12-12-2008, 11:20 PM

It's been done (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tGiZWGlszxA).

Sorry to break it to you.

Magic_Marker

12-13-2008, 12:07 AM

Guitar...gun.

I don't have any words. Except maybe where can I see more of this.

TDK

12-13-2008, 12:21 AM

Damn you, Krylo. Now I'm watching FLCL again. >_<

The Artist Formerly Known as Hawk

12-13-2008, 10:15 AM

You guys clearly haven't see Desperado then huh?

Rocket launcher guitar FTW!

A Zarkin' Frood

12-13-2008, 12:51 PM

Oooh, I have a good one that's NOT a weapon.

http://img418.imageshack.us/img418/8610/tabascouch1fn4.png
TABASCHOUCH (tm) (the tm being in lower case is important here)
A couch made out of TABSCO SAUCE

Features
- Comfortable tickle for normal sized humans
- Screaming and burning for children and small humans or pets (such as cats or dogs)
- Awesome.
- PROFIT

Yeah, I don't need question marks before my profit, I know what I'm doing.

If you think you can handle it you can also read about the creation of Tabascouch
http://www.last.fm/group/What+the+hell%27s+the+point+of+Last.fm+groups%3F/forum/29764/_/190291/5

EDIT: That's not a shitty Photoshop job. I don't even use Photoshop.

Meister

12-13-2008, 12:59 PM

The thought of this is that a normal gun brakes the sound barrier only once with its bullet this one the barrel of the gun brakes the sound barrier and then the bullet breaks it again
I, uh, don't think you've thought that quite through.

Khael!

12-13-2008, 02:36 PM

Eh, remove the bullets all together and just have a giant bazooka that breaks the sound barrier at things.

The Artist Formerly Known as Hawk

12-13-2008, 02:52 PM

Why not just go the whole way and replace the giant bazooka with a Sonic Cannon instead? Surely that would be the correct way to go at this point?

Doc ock rokc

12-13-2008, 08:14 PM

TDK

12-13-2008, 09:54 PM

I find your understanding of physics questionable!

Melfice

12-13-2008, 10:10 PM

also the fact the weapon has a melee capability makes the gun kick ass and i have thought of it the bullet moves down the barrel with a little magnetic suggestion it will move with the cirves and be at the end of the barrel just in time for the barrel to brake the speed of sound the bullet would be accelerated not only buy it's first break but from the barrel break as well...also causing the bullets to curve slightly

Okay, magnetic guidance I buy.
The bullet passing through the whip would cause the whip to go... dear god... rigid because too sharp a curve and your bullet will stop, magnetic guidance be damned. Thus, negating the effect of actually whipping somebody with the thing.

Also, the bullet can either move by the speed of the gunpowder and leave it at that, or it can be thrown by the whip, but not both.
The gunpowder (and magnets?) would guide with to the barrel-tip where it would be at it's optimal speed.
The whip, for a simple argument, moves either slower or at the same speed as the bullet, not actually enhancing the speed of the bullet.
For the bullet to actually catch the speed of the whip, the projectile must be thrown around. Only way to achieve that is by robbing the bullet of it's original direction and velocity.

Also, bullets curving around? Not a good plan with a single-action or revolver firearm, as you need that accuracy because you can't spray the room. (Not that that is a good idea anyway...)

I mean, if it's a whip mounted ON a gun... yeah.
But you can't have the whip BE the gun.
Unless you ignore physics and replace that with awesome.

Also, I quite realize I may have repeated some ideas several times in different words, but oh well.

EDIT: Also, I know I probably shouldn't, but... could you try working on your spelling and grammar?
I've seen horrible raping of the English language, and this falls far from that, but it's still annoying to read when it misses periods and comma's all over.

Verwind

12-13-2008, 11:00 PM

http://cdn-www.cracked.com/articleimages/wong/stick.jpg

A stick. Someone ACTUALLY patented this. (http://www.cracked.com/article_15693_p2.html)

Doc ock rokc

12-13-2008, 11:46 PM

...FINE my weapon doesn't obey physics! Even though there are the other weapons that wouldn't actually work...Like the tobascouch wouldn't light anyone on fire! The chainsaw Knuckles motor wouldn't be strong enough to cut bread! Even if it did the heat from the motor would burn the wearers hand! The RPC could work but it wouldn't be practical it would hit a infantry man and just spray blood everywhere! The magnetic ring thing wouldn't work because the other ring wouldn't say in place for it to spin! Shotgun-chucks would shoot the user if he is careless! The I.W.I.N. wouldn't do anything! Its just a threat! The Chainsaw crossbow has been made up and used in the grim adventures of billy and mandy! and the weight of the chainsaw would be to heavy for any cross bow to fire more then 2 feet! ....GAH

Wigmund

12-13-2008, 11:46 PM

Unless you ignore physics and replace that with awesome.

Isn't Awesome the true power of the universe and physics is something made up by those sinister forces that don't want us to tap into Awesome for fear of what may happen?

....physics does give us stuff like railguns (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y54aLcC3G74&NR=1) though...or maybe they tap into the Awesome

Melfice

12-14-2008, 10:04 AM

Actually, a railgun is very much possible while applying physics.
See, that's where you put a line of magnets and use those to accelerate the projectiles. (Linear accelerator)

They have something on Thinkgeek, so you have your own magnetic accelerator at home!
http://www.thinkgeek.com/geektoys/science/a673/

Watch the video too, and see that railguns aren't that far off.

Loyal

12-14-2008, 11:05 AM

...Jesus Doc, calm the feck down. I could go and devote an extra paragraph or two to the principle differences between your thing and their things, but I'd rather not bait you to continue.

TDK

12-14-2008, 12:29 PM

Actually, a railgun is very much possible while applying physics.
See, that's where you put a line of magnets and use those to accelerate the projectiles. (Linear accelerator).

She was talking about how railguns already existed and that physics does give us awesome stuff (like railguns).

And that's not how railguns work. The projectile is placed between the two rails, completing the circuit and creating an intense magnetic field which then (along with some other physics stuff I'm not privy to) accelerates the projectile along the rails.

Or maybe you were talking about something else? I'm tired...

The Artist Formerly Known as Hawk

12-14-2008, 12:46 PM

No, a linear motor doesn't need anything to complete the circuit, the current running through the rail constantly changes the magnetic polarity within the rail, which pulls the object along.

Wiki (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Linear_motor) has more on the subject.

EDIT; Actually, no, I was wrong. I was thinking of a Coilgun (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coilgun), which is different again. It seems actual Railguns do induce a current through the projectile.