Men in tights: the wrestling thread

[Meister]

Spinoff from the worst thing ever thread.

That's hardly the worst thing from WCW alone. This is a company that gave David Arquette a World Heavyweight Title reign, hyped up an appearance by Robocop for at least a good couple weeks only to have him just walk awkwardly down to the ring, unlock a cage, and leave, and created The Shockmaster (http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=s3CL28vgE4U).

Oh, bless the WCW. They used to be so delightfully batshit crazy. Now all there is is the WWE and its little brother ECW, and it seems like you can only tell one xxxtreeeeeem bitchin kickass ass kicker yeeeeaaaahhhh from the other by the placement and content of their tattoos. It's kind of sad
You could always watch TNA! It's just the same but their ring has two more sides!

Delightfully batshit crazy, eh? Have you heard of CHIKARA? They're a lucha libre-based indie promotion and they seem to have a pretty good sense of humour about basically everything.

To wit: Player Uno (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9P9qgbT1YwY).

[POS Industries]

You could always watch TNA! It's just the same but their ring has two more sides!
I have a couple friends that absolutely swear by TNA as the actual quality of the wrestling itself is a bit better than what McMahon's little circus is putting out, but if I said I was someone who watched purely for the "sport," I would be a filthy liar. I appreciate WWE's eye for showmanship above all else. The promos and commentary, which really are what make or break the business, are better than TNA's. Especially the commentary.

However, TNA has a guy named Chris Sabin whose signature move is the Bum Rush, so it's not like they aren't doing anything right.

I miss the off-the-wall gimmicks, though. I fell out of love with the business for a while when Gregory Helms stopped being The Hurricane. I got back into it recently, but much of it is still pretty dull. John Morrison and The Miz are the best thing in WWE right now, with Edge, Santino Marella, and The Brian Kendrick not far behind. Also, we're getting close to Triple H's yearly career-threatening quad injury, so that might at least give the place a breath of fresh air for a bit.

[Meister]

Botchamania (http://www.youtube.com/user/MaffewofBotchamania) is a video series everyone should watch. I never knew there were so many ways to goof up in professional wrestling, or that people did it so much. (Don't worry, the guy who does these has enough decency to leave the gruesome injuries out.)

I miss the off-the-wall gimmicks
No seriously, CHIKARA.

[Lumenskir]

I still stand by my friend's theory that your chance of caring about professional wrestling is directly related to when you find out it's all staged. I had never even seen a match before someone 'spoiled' it for me and it just never had any appeal.

However, a few of the vidgames for it were fun. MANDIBLE CLAW!

Also, The Wrestler (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XGnO1oQk2_w) is supposed to resuscitate the careers of both Darren Aronofsky and Mickey Rourke, so I guess the profession isn't all bad?

[Meister]

The Wrestler is said to be really, really great. I hadn't seen that trailer before but it does look pretty amazing.

Fun fact: the guy who gets put through a table at around 0:30 is Necro Butcher (url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bnd6a4MenWs), real life hardcore wrestler and completely nuts. oh god never noticed referee not wearing pants why would he do that

[Corel]

Did anybody else think the thread was about this (http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=0lUjhEHlh7s&feature=related) when they read the title?

...Actually if stage Wrestling was in the form of a Broadway musical, I would so watch it.

Mm, if anyone still watches Wrestling has it changed all that much from The Ultimate Warrior and Hulk Hogan days? It also brought us Andre the Giant to star in a certain wonderful film.

[Si Civa]

This came to my mind (http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=0-9qZ4Zs6Ys) and of course I thought that Meister was sure fast to start this thread with tittle being "men in tights". It surely explains about wrestling, but how much does it explain about Meister himself?

And there's not Curt Hennig anymore.:(

[Archbio]

Playing a videogame based on pro-wrestling is getting pretty close to Futurama's gag about virtual virtual skee ball.

[OctoberRaven]

First of all, Meister is right about CHIKARA. It's not just crazy gimmicks but great wrestling to boot. Take Mike Quackenbush, who is undoubtedly THE best American wrestler.

Also, Player Uno is one-half of a tag team with Player Dos (formerly Stupified) called the Super Smash Brothers. Their theme music? THE PUNCH-OUT FIGHT MUSIC.

The commentary is also top-notch. And unlike most promotions, who stick with two guys for the whole show, they have multiple commentators who change constantly, and usually at least one if not both are wrestlers.

There's a local promotion here called ICW, most notable because of a guy called J-Biggs who is a phenomenal brawler (has a kind of Eddie Kingston build with a Samoa Joe look, and his style is a mix of both) and has the stiffest lariat I've ever seen.

If you want good serious stuff, your best bet is to go to Japan, where they have some of the best workers (Minoru Suzuki, Keiji Mutoh/Great Muta, Kenta Kobashi are people to look for) in the world. They also have women wrestlers who are better than most mainstream US male wrestlers. Most of them aren't photogenic (Megumi Kudo was a cheif exception) in fact most of them look like petit men.

If you want batshit crazy stuff? Well, we all know Japan has it's share of craziness and their indy wrestling is no exception. DDT and Triple Sixxx (aka 666) are good bets: DDT is a parody of WWE/American mainstream wrestling (Including a title that's defended 24/7 like the WWE's hardcore title was, only this one has changed hands over 500 times and has been won by people who aren't even people: 3 different ladders, a Hello Kitty doll, and the referee's pet chihuahua have all won the title at one point). Notable Japan comedy gimmicks include Poison Sawada JULIE (Whose gimmick is that he's from the Island of Makai and has supernatural powers whose origins involve the Easter Island statues), President Ramu (A preteen girl, I think she's 9 years old now, who is basically The Undertaker as a little girl. She even chokeslams people), MECHA Mummy (Yes, a robot mummy, who also uses prop weapons in his matches, including a drill, a giant fist that doubles as a rocket punch, and a jetpack) and Kikutaro (basically an all-around wacky character who is known for all sorts of hijinks, including imitating other wrestlers).

EDIT- Good pro wrestling game, in fact the best: Fire Pro Wrestling Returns for the PS2

[POS Industries]

Additionally, I recommend HUSTLE in the vein of crazy-ass puroresu, if for no other reason than it created Hard Gay and has Tajiri. The Great Muta and the Dudleys have also passed through there, as well. Really hilarious stuff.

EDIT: HOLY SHIT JEFF HARDY JUST WON THE WWE CHAMPIONSHIP I'M KINDA MARKING OUT.

[Jagos]

HOLD IT!

You mean to tell me Hard Gei is a wrestler and NOT a TV personality?

O_O
-_-
O_O;

[bluestarultor]

Additionally, I recommend HUSTLE in the vein of crazy-ass puroresu, if for no other reason than it created Hard Gay and has Tajiri. The Great Muta and the Dudleys have also passed through there, as well. Really hilarious stuff.

EDIT: HOLY SHIT JEFF HARDY JUST WON THE WWE CHAMPIONSHIP I'M KINDA MARKING OUT.

I thought he was fired? Or was that Matt? Or are they both back?

Frankly, I always thought that Matt was cooler, but I don't particularly keep up and my friend who was into it left for the National Guard years ago, so I'm probably way behind.

[POS Industries]

HOLD IT!

You mean to tell me Hard Gei is a wrestler and NOT a TV personality?

O_O
-_-
O_O;
Is there a difference?

I thought he was fired? Or was that Matt? Or are they both back?

Frankly, I always thought that Matt was cooler, but I don't particularly keep up and my friend who was into it left for the National Guard years ago, so I'm probably way behind.
Both were dropped and rehired, and both hold world titles within the company, as Matt is ECW Champion.

[Fifthfiend]

I still stand by my friend's theory that your chance of caring about professional wrestling is directly related to when you find out it's all staged. I had never even seen a match before someone 'spoiled' it for me and it just never had any appeal.

However, a few of the vidgames for it were fun. MANDIBLE CLAW!

Also, The Wrestler (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XGnO1oQk2_w) is supposed to resuscitate the careers of both Darren Aronofsky and Mickey Rourke, so I guess the profession isn't all bad?

Wouldn't that make it like the ten or eleventh time they've resuscitated the career of Mickey Rourke?

Playing a videogame based on pro-wrestling is getting pretty close to Futurama's gag about virtual virtual skee ball.

Thinking about it, it's not really less ridiculous than any videogame based on a license from a scripted fictional series.

[Mirai Gen]

Wouldn't that make it like the ten or eleventh time they've resuscitated the career of Mickey Rourke?
Can't be any worse than how often they've resuscitated dug up the rotting corpse of Rick Flair's career.

[POS Industries]

Can't be any worse than how often they've resuscitated dug up the rotting corpse of Rick Flair's career.
That's a funny way of spelling "Hulk Hogan."

[Mirai Gen]

Touche.

Although at least Hogan has some self-respect now, since he's got his own reality show.

[POS Industries]

self-respect
reality show
http://i119.photobucket.com/albums/o159/posindustries/facepalm/dx.gif

[Archbio]

Thinking about it, it's not really less ridiculous than any videogame based on a license from a scripted fictional series.

It certainly is!

It's like a videogame adaptation of Plan Nine from Outer Space that lovingly renders the strings holding up the flying saucers.

Or a faithful videogame version of Kabuki theater.

[POS Industries]

Never actually played one, have you?

Wrestling games are just fighting games with mechanics based around the "sport." I mean, you don't actually hit a button to take a razor blade to your own forehead while the cameraman films something else for a minute or anything.

[Mirai Gen]

http://i119.photobucket.com/albums/o159/posindustries/facepalm/dx.gif
I suppose I should have laid on the sarcasm a bit thicker in that post.

[POS Industries]

I suppose I should have laid on the sarcasm a bit thicker in that post.
See, that's what I figured but Paul controls the booking and wanting some face time, so I kept my mouth shut because I didn't want to spend the next 8 months jobbing to Funaki.

[Archbio]

Never actually played one, have you?

Wrestling games are just fighting games with mechanics based around the "sport." I mean, you don't actually hit a button to take a razor blade to your own forehead while the cameraman films something else for a minute or anything.

No, I've actually attempted to play two.

They weren't quite as fully and openly absurd as that, true, but then that just means they didn't have that redeeming quality, either. The example is still good. Ed Wood couldn't come up with a way to hide the strings, and pro-wrestling couldn't be anything better than staged mock epic fights on rings, with the occasional folding chair. It was just a question of material necessity in both cases. Now, pro-wrestling can and does hide some things (and so they are hidden in videogames also), and I guess that the stilted form, the crushing weight of those conventions are accepted by people involved with it, but they're still flaws.

And they are faithfully adapted in videogame form. Absurd, in a non-entertaining way. I guess if the videogame versions were less slavish it might just make the original look bad.

Oh, and are you sure they wouldn't just use blood packets?

Now, why am I being serious about this?!

[POS Industries]

Well,to be fair, they've really been unable to make an actually good wrestling game since No Mercy for the N64, and it hasn't exactly aged well. Most of the new ones anymore are just glorified entrance creators.

A lot of people go nuts over the Fire Pro games, though, but I've never tried one.

Oh, and are you sure they wouldn't just use blood packets?
They cheek those for when they have to appear to bleed from the mouth for any reason. They can't do that for flesh wounds because they have to actually continue bleeding from the cut for as long as they're in view of the audience, and so a blood packet is just too obvious.

Ric Flair's forehead is a mess of scars purely because he's been doing it for so many years.

[Fifthfiend]

I have a whole new respect for professional wrestlers. Or you know, whatever it is that you call it when you find out people routinely take razors to their foreheads.

[Mirai Gen]

Agreed.
Well,to be fair, they've really been unable to make an actually good wrestling game since No Mercy for the N64, and it hasn't exactly aged well.
Oh god yes, how many days I wasted beating people's faces in until they gave up in Survival Mode.

[OctoberRaven]

A lot of people go nuts over the Fire Pro games, though, but I've never tried one.

You should. Fire Pro Returns is for the PS2 and can go for amazingly awesome bargain prices (heck, it's original MSRP was a steal in of itself!).

AI doesn't suck (see: THQ games), gameplay is awesome, the moveset and possibilities with the edit mode blow anything made in the US completely out of the water.

Okay, yeah, it's not 3D. But this isn't a mainstream game so the graphics aren't important. Besides, it's obvious where the memory that would have gone to graphics went: 327 premade wrestlers (All based on real-life wrestlers, though a mainstream-only wrestling fan would recognize maybe a dozen wrestlers as most of them are Japanese wrestlers). Rather have your own wrestlers? Okay, you can make up to five hundred created wrestlers. And you can make practically anyone from a real wrestler to kappas dressed like Jeff Hardy to Ronald McDonald. Not only that but you can program AI for your own wrestlers so when played by the CPU they'll fight the way you want them to fight.

Warning though, Agetec made a HUGE error in translating the AI section, it's nothing big but I suggest you read some FAQs first.

[Griever]

Some of the newer games aren't bad but they're in a purely 'I'll play them if someone else is' category at this point. Their "story" modes are usually dead after three matches so PvP is basically the only slightly redeeming factor.

Still can't believe they gave Jeff the championship, especially considering that both Paul and Adam were in the match and Paul very rarely passes up a chance to give himself gold. Christian Cage is supposed to come back to WWE at some point soon so they're probably trying to set up a Hardys Vs Edge and Christian rivalry like the 90's...we'll see how that goes though.

[POS Industries]

Well, I think Jeff's got the belt for a month or two because there was a lot of fan demand for it, so they're just going ahead and getting it out of the way. But yeah, the "Hardys versus E&C" possibility probably isn't out of the question, and the recent angle between Jeff and Edge with a little Matt thrown in seems like it could head in that direction.

Also, I think Paul's realized the he's never going to top Flair's 16 world title reigns if he just continues on one long title reign forever. It would be nice if he turned heel again, though. Face Haitch is just amazingly boring, but I guess they're still making a bunch of money from the "DX REUNITES FOR ONE NIGHT ONLY" bits they keep pulling every month or so.

[Griever]

I agree. DX lost it's appeal for me after the first "reunion". Especially with all the "one night only" crap they tack on to them. Heel HHH is superior to face and has been for years. The only time Face HHH shines is when he breaks character and just goes on about real life family stuff. That's a good point on the number of titles though. I always forget how old HHH is getting, mostly because I think he could be 60 and still talk his way into a title run.

As for Jeff, yeah I know he's going to be a transitional champion but still it's nice. He's always been one of my favorites but with his build there's no way Vince is going to let him have a long run.

[Jagos]

Pft, with all the injuries he's packing up, how CAN he hold the belt long enough...?

[Meister]

This is pretty much the best exchange in the ring ever. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zVa49EwJj0w)

[OctoberRaven]

I don't care for either Hardy. I mean, Matt can be decent when he tries but Jeff is just terrible. Even for someone who just does spot moves, he's bad.

[POS Industries]

Thread bumpan because, yeah, Meister's totally right. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zOcjq4siu7A)

[bluestarultor]

I don't care for either Hardy. I mean, Matt can be decent when he tries but Jeff is just terrible. Even for someone who just does spot moves, he's bad.

Ya gotta give him credit for landing on his head all the time, though. What with his Swanton Bomb if he's still using it.

Frankly, I think their appeal for me was just the spectacle of having two guys as a team that actually might really be brothers. I mean, the Dudleys are just as idiotic in their own way in their matches from what I've seen (very OH NOES! It's a big fat guy who's a-gonna sit on you!) and I personally thought when I was still in the know that they won too much considering they were too heavy to believably badly pull punches and mudstomps fast enough to really juggle anyone, but the worst part was the idiotic attempt to make a pretend family for them, considering the only common characteristic they shared was being built heavy, and then Spike didn't even share in that. You look at the Hardys and compare their builds, they look the same, and while their faces are pretty different and one dyes his hair red, overall, they're just more fun to watch as a tag team because the brothers thing just works.


I guess what my comment should be is that in the business of entertainment, you don't necessarily have to be good or win matches to be somehow entertaining. Sometimes there's just a novelty to stuff that makes people like it anyway.

[Meister]

Not sure what you're getting at exactly but Matt and Jeff are brothers. Those are even their real names. They never did look that much alike, though; I remember matches from when they'd just entered WWF, and even then Jeff would have dyed hair and wear sleeves with no shirt attached while Matt stood by in comparatively regular attire.

I guess what my comment should be is that in the business of entertainment, you don't necessarily have to be good or win matches to be somehow entertaining. Sometimes there's just a novelty to stuff that makes people like it anyway.
I think everyone can agree with that and think of someone who was/is popular more for their gimmick than ring skills (the unkind would point to quite a few people in WWE's upper roster).

[Jagos]

John Cena and the Chain Gang.

[Hatake Kakashi]

I think everyone can agree with that and think of someone who was/is popular more for their gimmick than ring skills (the unkind would point to quite a few people in WWE's upper roster).

The Rock comes to mind.

As does Steve Austin.

Not that I'm aiming for the blatantly obvious, but really, the target's so wide, I couldn't miss.

Let me rephrase that: Post-Million-Dollar-Champion Steve Austin was popular. The MDC bit was just retarded.

Lately, though, I'm finding a lot of wrestlers that need their faces punched in... not so much for their gimmick than just because it looks like their smug little pretty-boy faces could use a good punch or six.

[bluestarultor]

Not sure what you're getting at exactly but Matt and Jeff are brothers. Those are even their real names. They never did look that much alike, though; I remember matches from when they'd just entered WWF, and even then Jeff would have dyed hair and wear sleeves with no shirt attached while Matt stood by in comparatively regular attire.


I think everyone can agree with that and think of someone who was/is popular more for their gimmick than ring skills (the unkind would point to quite a few people in WWE's upper roster).

My point was that Matt and Jeff ARE brothers and that's what makes them entertaining, whereas the Dudleys just come off as retarded because they're obviously not and try to push it.

[Meister]

Ah okay, my bad.

I only ever saw the Dudleys in WWF but from what I read otherwise I always understood the brothers shtick to be meant with one's tongue firmly inserted in one's cheek. Knowing WWF it's possible they missed the point entirely and played it straight, though.

A gimmick like Hydra (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HGG0lDwPQlc) would never ever survive there.

[Jagos]

Dwayne Gillberg (http://ie.youtube.com/watch?v=jpyNCAg-GWE)

[Meister]

This made me laugh harder than any WWE backstage skit has any right to. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R_wRQwmeny4)

[POS Industries]

Furthermore, here's a fun game that you can play at home!

http://i119.photobucket.com/albums/o159/posindustries/Cole_Bingo.jpg

Oh Michael Cole, you are the worst announcer to never work for TNA.