Rock, Paper, Scissors. Again.

[Fenris]

I decided to do something hateriffic.

I'm going to restart the spammiest of spam games. Rules be simple:

1) One player posts an object to start off the game. That's me.
2) The next poster posts something that beats the object posted previously.
3) Repeat step 2 until I close the thread.
4) If you make a post in this thread, you cannot make another for 5 posts.

The first object!

Meister.

(PS. This is NOT a word association game.)

[Nikose Tyris]

Meister's DM.

[Mr.Bookworm]

Fire.

[Doc ock rokc]

Water

[Marelo]

Thirsty man.

[Bells]

Bag of salt

[The SSB Intern]

A margaritaville.

[The Wandering God]

Alcoholic's Anonymous meeting

The Wandering God

Edit for Intern Nin:
I think you mean Ray Walston. (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0051516/)

Double Edit for POS:
I love you, too.

[Intern Nin]

The Devil, played by Ray Wise.

[POS Industries]

Our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ of Nazareth.

The Wandering God

[Fenris]

Bizarro Mashirosen (http://forum.nuklearpower.com/member.php?u=25111)

[MasterOfMagic]

The forums, apparently. (http://forum.nuklearpower.com/showthread.php?t=30326)

[The Artist Formerly Known as Hawk]

Server crash

[Mr.Bookworm]

Fuitad

[Bells]

Sam Walton

[Mesden]

Multiple Myeloma

[bluestarultor]

Giant brain tumor.

[Marelo]

Psychic surgery.

[Fenris]

Regular surgery.

Because it's not fictional.

[Krylo]

Inoperable tumor.

[POS Industries]

Inoperable threemor!

(b^.^)b

[Bells]

Dr House

:)
<\>
_/\_

[Male Human Fighter]

Spartan custom

[Marelo]

The Rancor.

Also, I chose psychic surgery just 'cause I knew someone would hate me for it!

[Intern Nin]

A big metal door with spikes.

[The Artist Formerly Known as Hawk]

A plasma cutter

[bluestarultor]

A water cutter.

[Male Human Fighter]

A live wire.

[Ryong]

A power outage.

[POS Industries]

The Electric Company.

[Bells]

A power outage.

[Masked Jedi]

Generators

[Demonlink2]

Gasoline Shortage

[Viridis]

Renewable energy.

[MasterOfMagic]

Start-up cost.

[The Wandering God]

Trust fund

The Wandering God

[Krylo]

Universal heat death.

[Viridis]

See, that's just overkill.

The only counter I can think of is that the universe might be cyclical (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cyclic_Model).

Oh, or "hope". Which I think Sandman (Gaiman's) did in a game like this.

[POS Industries]

A straightforward response.

[The SSB Intern]

Pointing out a contradiction in the testimony.

[Bells]

OBJECTION!

[Death by Stabbing]

Rejection

[Khael!]

Online dating services.

[Masked Jedi]

Dateline

[Nikose Tyris]

Meeting Chris Hansen in person.

[Marelo]

Being a pedophile while meeting Chris Hansen in person.

[Bells]

a very special "To catch a predator".

[Intern Nin]

Turning the TV off.

[The Artist Formerly Known as Hawk]

Haunted TV that never switches off.

[Viridis]

The Ghostbusters.

[Krylo]

Governmental red tape and obstinate politicians.

[Masked Jedi]

Fox Mulder

[Marelo]

The Question.

[bluestarultor]

Salvation.

(That is the point of answering The Question, right? :sweatdrop)

[POS Industries]

Zombie. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HJEySrDerj0&fmt=18)

[Chiyo-Chan]

Gordon Freeman

[Doc ock rokc]

Gman

[Demonlink2]

Gmod

[Marelo]

Short circuit.

[Krylo]

Number 5 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4TBcQ8h_kXU)

[Bells]

MAMBO Number 5 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EWGJpfS3zIk)

[natowarhead]

Deafness

[The Wandering God]

Sign Language

The Wandering God

[Intern Nin]

Blindness

[POS Industries]

Annie Sullivan.

[Zilla]

May I just say that page 6 was amazing?

Theresa Wright (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0942863/)

[The Artist Formerly Known as Hawk]

Heart attack

[Zilla]

pacemaker

[Marelo]

MRI.

Zilla, five post rule! :D

[natowarhead]

Massive Solar Flare

[Ryong]

Not being in space.

[Funka Genocide]

The Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle

[POS Industries]

The Heisenberg compensator. (http://memory-alpha.org/en/wiki/Heisenberg_compensator)

[The Artist Formerly Known as Hawk]

Crappy Federation technology that explodes upon a single direct hit from a phaser the moment a space battle begins.

[The Wandering God]

An NES game console.
(Those things could take any kind of abuse.)
The Wandering God

[Chiyo-Chan]

A hammer

[Mr.Bookworm]

Charlie

[Funka Genocide]

Oompah Loompahs

[Bells]

A Pitbull with an attitude

[Fenris]

Castration.

[Zilla]

Duke Nukem (http://www.videosift.com/video/Ive-got-balls-of-steel-Duke-Nukem-Vent-Server-Prank)

[Doc ock rokc]

Matt Hazard

[POS Industries]

Those Duke boys.

[Mr.Bookworm]

Swift, repeated application of a shotgun

[Mesden]

Jumping over the shotgun blast while the horn plays 'Dixie,' freezing the frame in midair while Waylong Jennings comments on the situation, and then landing unscathed.

[The Wandering God]

Flat tires

The Wandering God

[The Artist Formerly Known as Hawk]

The Flying Car Project

[Masked Jedi]

Budget cuts

[MasterOfMagic]

More taxes.

[Marelo]

Utter collapse of infrastructure and government.

[Krylo]

Mad Max.

[Fifthfiend]

Jewish people.

[Zilla]

.......

Really guy?

Pork on Fridays.

[Fifthfiend]

Really guy?

Mad Max = Mel Gibson = hilarious drunken antisemitic tirade towards police officers.

Pork on Fridays.

Dieting.

[POS Industries]

America.

[Karrrrrrrrrrrresche]

America.


Actual events of history when compared to the Americanized version.

[Marelo]

Europeans.

Edit:

Book burning.

[Zilla]

My apprehension was more in reference to the ease with which Godwin's Law could have been proven.

Ray Bradbury

[Cloud Strife]

No ink.

[Wizardcat]

A pencil.

[Intern Nin]

A very hungry delinquent. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fHFySGxccKc)

[POS Industries]

My apprehension was more in reference to the ease with which Godwin's Law could have been proven.
That's Nazis, not Jews. The latter has actually been around for thousands of years before the former's brief existence.

A very hungry delinquent. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fHFySGxccKc)
Freddie Mercury. (http://i119.photobucket.com/albums/o159/posindustries/mercury.jpg)

[Zilla]

That's Nazis, not Jews. The latter has actually been around for thousands of years before the former's brief existence.

And what could easily defeat jews? What could I have posted?


Freddie Mercury. (http://i119.photobucket.com/albums/o159/posindustries/mercury.jpg)

David Bowie

[Fifthfiend]

My apprehension was more in reference to the ease with which Godwin's Law could have been proven.

Oh. Yeah I guess I was counting on people to go not-awful. Thank God that worked out.

David Bowie

Fuck, Zilla wins.

Okay:

A cat.

[Archbio]

Erwin Schrödinger.

[The SSB Intern]

Practical science.

[Fenris]

Apeture Science.

[Marelo]

Chell.

[Bells]

Gordon Freeman

[POS Industries]

John Freeman. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OHxyZaZlaOs)

[Cloud Strife]

That made my head hurt just listening to that.

Also: GIANT HEADCRAB.

[Zilla]

Attacking it's weak point for massive damage.

[Krylo]

Kai (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vWjyfqp_ZBk)

[Funka Genocide]

granny panties and celulite when she hits 30

[The SSB Intern]

Saying good-bye to cellulite! (http://spamusement.com/index.php/comics/view/259)

[The Artist Formerly Known as Hawk]

Actual humour.

[Masked Jedi]

Newspaper humor columnists

[Doc ock rokc]

Illiterate red necks

[Marelo]

Fire.

[Intern Nin]

Potting soil.

[Doc ock rokc]

salt

[bluestarultor]

Sugar.

[Bells]

Spice

[Fenris]

People, please observe the whole "letting 5 other people post before you do again" rule.

[POS Industries]

Total disregard for The Man and his fascist rules.

[Mr.Bookworm]

Blackwhite

[Demonlink2]

whiteblack

[Marelo]

Gray.

[Viridis]

de Blob! (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/De_Blob)

[Chiyo-Chan]

A vacuum cleaner.

[Doc ock rokc]

(1..2...3...4...5)
Pennies!

[Intern Nin]

Nickels

[Archbio]

Doubloons.

[Marelo]

Pirates.

[The Artist Formerly Known as Hawk]

Ninjas! :ninja:

[POS Industries]

Harleys.

[MasterOfMagic]

Vespas

[greed]

Haruko from FLCL

[Fenris]

Runs, I don't think you quite understand the purpose of the game. This is NOT word association. Give the rules a once-over for me, would ya?

[The Artist Formerly Known as Hawk]

I think he intended it as a "Dubloons are defeated by Pirates, because Pirates steal Dubloons, enslaving them to their own piratin' purposes". Least that's how I took it.

[Marelo]

Runs, I don't think you quite understand the purpose of the game. This is NOT word association. Give the rules a once-over for me, would ya?

I think he intended it as a "Dubloons are defeated by Pirates, because Pirates steal Dubloons, enslaving them to their own piratin' purposes". Least that's how I took it.

Hawk read it right. I'll try to be more explicit from now on, or explain when it's vague.

[Bells]

be more explicit from now on, or explain when it's vague.
/trying to move along :D
Graphs and Charts

[The Wandering God]

Real life.

Because things are always more complicated than any chart can show.

The Wandering God

[bluestarultor]

Taking a break in a fantasy world.

[Funka Genocide]

taking a break, in the nose

[Doc ock rokc]

...Dr.McNinja.
(he breaks broken noses!)

[Intern Nin]

Uber-Ninja with Chainsaw nunchuck.

[Krylo]

Orbital nuclear strike.

[POS Industries]

Pronouncing it "nukular."

[Pip Boy]

Speech classes.

[Archbio]

Giant overbite, rendering any kind of speechifying enhancement pointless.

[Fenris]

Orthodontics.

[Marelo]

Dodgeball to the face.

[greed]

Wrench to the groin.

[Zilla]

Medic going uber.

[Masked Jedi]

BONK! Scout with a Sandman

[Ryong]

Pyro to the rescue.

[Funka Genocide]

Pyrotechnics to the face

[The Artist Formerly Known as Hawk]

Safe handling protocols

[Marelo]

Idiots.

[Pip Boy]

Sharp objects

[MasterOfMagic]

A file.

[Doc ock rokc]

a watchful Prison guard.

[Funka Genocide]

Nite Owl

[The SSB Intern]

Erectile disfunction.

[Zilla]

Bob.

[Archbio]

Megabyte.

[The Artist Formerly Known as Hawk]

Corrupted data.

[MasterOfMagic]

RAID

[Mr.Bookworm]

A good axe

[bluestarultor]

Not knowing how to play guitar.

[POS Industries]

Guitar Hero.

[The Wandering God]

South Park (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Sbdq4AF3Fc)

The Wandering God

[Fifthfiend]

The Wandering God

People who don't sign their forum posts.

[Zilla]

4 chan's anonymous.

[Fenris]

Everybody else.

[Funka Genocide]

Sith Lord Cheney (Seriously that dude fucked everybody like a drunken prom date)

[Demonlink2]

Barack Obama from "A New Hope"

[natowarhead]

Congress

[The Artist Formerly Known as Hawk]

Martians (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f3PeMg-TB9Y)

Skip to around 7 minutes.

[Zilla]

Johnny Cash

[Masked Jedi]

Joaquin Phoenix

[POS Industries]

Andy Kaufman

[Rokrin]

Kidney Failure

[Cloud Strife]

Kidney transplant.

[Doc ock rokc]

Incompetent Doctors

[Marelo]

Legal action.

[Funka Genocide]

Jailbait

[Zilla]

Bumble Bee

[The Artist Formerly Known as Hawk]

Industrial strength insect repellent.

[natowarhead]

FDA

[Rokrin]

PDA

[Bells]

NAMBLA

[POS Industries]

The National Association of Marlon Brando Look-Alikes.

[Zilla]

Sam Spade, an automatic, and a case full of ammunition.

[Funka Genocide]

Sam Spud, Par-boiled Potato Detective

[Khael!]

My fork and some sour creme.

[Rokrin]

My fork without sour cream.

[bluestarultor]

Quina's fork weaponry in FF9.

[Zilla]

A microwave.

[Fenris]

ER transferring into EQ.

[The Artist Formerly Known as Hawk]

Not being such a huge nerd as to understand what the fuck that even means.

[shiney_is_an_ass]

Taking a goddamn high school physics class.

[MasterOfMagic]

Having been out of highschool for years.

[RalionX]

Not having the option to take a Physics class in high school.

[POS Industries]

Taking weight training instead and actually getting laid.

[bluestarultor]

Being fast and adequately strong instead of just strong and nearly immobile.

[Krylo]

Gonna stick with 'getting laid' here. Getting laid instead of spending all your time thinking about how to min max your RL combat stats.

[Doc ock rokc]

Aids

[Zilla]

nanobots

[Archbio]

Being an Atrox.

[Funka Genocide]

knowing what an atrox is.

(seriously, the hell is it? I think it's either a death metal band from Norway or some sort of venomous snake species.)

[Zilla]

THE SPANISH INQUISITION!

[Intern Nin]

Nobody (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Teenage_Mutant_Ninja_Turtles_characters#No body), who was expecting it.

[Doc ock rokc]

Caption obvious

[Viridis]

Obliviousness.

Just wanted to start this going again.

[Aeria]

Encyclopedias.

[Bells]

Wikis

[The Artist Formerly Known as Hawk]

The population of the internet being allowed to edit said wiki at will.

[Mr.Bookworm]

Draconian wiki editors

[bluestarultor]

Losing everything that made it fun and good in the first place, like trivia sections on video game and TV show entries.

[Nikose Tyris]

Gaining the addition of good comprehensive knowledge without bias or needless trivia in a laid-out fact scenario to avoid confusion or "Theories" to be mixed with actual fact.

[Mr.Bookworm]

Internet crash

[Kerensky287]

The great outdoors.

[Doc ock rokc]

The Great indoors

[Kerensky287]

Fire.

[The Artist Formerly Known as Hawk]

Fire extinguisher.

[Ryong]

Explosion caused by pressure malfunction.

[Majik]

Godly Superbeing who absorbs the explosion.

[Zilla]

lack of faith

[Aeria]

Conspicuously unexpected religious experience.

[Krylo]

Rational explanations.

[bluestarultor]

The paranormal.

[The Artist Formerly Known as Hawk]

The Ghostbusters.

[Ryong]

Crossed streams.

[Nikose Tyris]

Urinals.

[Ryong]

Extreme shyness.

[Aeria]

Online Dating

[Mr.Bookworm]

Forty-five year old bi-curious male truckers

[Masked Jedi]

Mace

[bluestarultor]

Mortal Kombat (obscure game reference)

[Archbio]

Good taste.

[Kerensky287]

Binge eating.

[Ryong]

Eating normal stuff.

[The SSB Intern]

English pubs.

[Mr.Bookworm]

Irish pubs.

[The Artist Formerly Known as Hawk]

Barfights

[Kerensky287]

Captain Christopher Pike. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christopher_Pike_(Star_Trek))

[bluestarultor]

Stairs.

[Magic_Marker]

Elevators