Homesuck: Vriska Rising

[Ecks]

Glad Hussie answered all that.

Also, and please remember I only got into Homestuck over a month and a half ago, I just discovered that the banners during the Scratch intermission held actual story meats and plot juice in addition to the panels provided.

[Aldurin]

CG: OKAY SO SINCE STRIDER HAD TO BE A FUCKING NOOKSLAPPING JACKASS WE'RE GOING TO TRY A NEW PLAN WHERE

TT: Nope.

CG: OH COME THE FUCK ON LALONDE, YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE TIME BULLSHIT.

TT: I saw what's going to happen, Karkat. It gets us all killed. Also, Lord English honks at you mockingly and I imagine you'll be pretty embarrassed.

TC: honk.

CG: SHUT UP.

TC: MOTHERFUCKIN HONK.

CG: NO GODDAMMIT, SHUT THE FUCK UP.

GC: H3H3H3 SH3'S R1GHT, K4RK4T, 1 S4W 1T TOO. YOU PR3TTY MUCH G3T HONKF3D STR41GHT UP TH3 BON3BULDG3. >:]

CG: FUCKING FINE, HOW ABOUT WE JUST

AA: nope!

CG: THEN WHAT ABOUT

GA: No That Will Just Make It Worse

CG: RIGHT, BUT WHAT IF WE

TG: nope

CG: OR HOW ABOUT

GC: NOP3 >:?

CG: WAIT, I'VE GOT IT. LET'S JUST

TT: Yes, that's actually pretty smart. Good idea.

CG: WAIT, REALLY?

TT: Nope.

CG: OH GO CLIMB A HIVE OF OOZING SEEDFLAPS, LALONDE. HERE'S AN IDEA, WHY DON'T YOU ALL JUST

TC: honk. :o)

CG: YOU KNOW WHAT? FUCK THIS AND FUCK EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU. I'M GOING TO GO HOP RIGHT BACK INTO OUR SESSION, PROSTRATE MY SHAME GLOBES RIGHT UP IN JACK'S FACE, AND BEG HIM TO STAB ME UNTIL THE END OF ETERNITY. WAY TO GO, TEAM. THIS IS WHAT WE CAN ACCOMPLISH WHEN WE FUCKING WORK TOGETHER.

You forgot

CG: I KNOW, WE SHOULD

FCG: NO, YOU'LL JUST MAKE ME LOOK STUPID

CG: THIS IS WHY FUTURE ME IS SUCH A FUCKING ASSHOLE

[POS Industries]

Dude, they're all just standing on an asteroid having a conversation. This is no place for that smug asshole Future Karkat.

Plus he was dead during all those ideas.

[Aldurin]

He'd still find a way, because Future Karkat is that much more of an asshole than Past Karkat.

[Fifthfiend]

It's like watching the birth of a seriously deformed paradox child.

You forgot

CG: I KNOW, WE SHOULD

FCG: NO, YOU'LL JUST MAKE ME LOOK STUPID

CG: THIS IS WHY FUTURE ME IS SUCH A FUCKING ASSHOLE

*derides fanfic*

some time later

*tries to get in on it*

[Aldurin]

*derides fanfic*

some time later

*tries to get in on it*

Hey, if it's already beyond the point of no return we might as well prepare it for a good life.

[Arcanum]

*points to the RP forum where Aldurin has been writing Homestuck Troll fanfiction for over a year now*

[Art of Hilt]

New SBaHJ (http://www.mspaintadventures.com/sweetbroandhellajeff/?cid=037.jpg)

DUBE

Dave you are at the Green Sun what are you doing making SBaHJ comics at a time like this

[Loyal]

Dave has a camera that instantly pops out SBaHJs, remember? Plus, he's the time guy. Gotta have some way to pass the hours when hopping back and forth through causality.

[rpgdemon]

He probably took a picture of the green sun, and this is what "green" translated to.

[Bard The 5th LW]

I assumed that Davesprite took over SBAJH at some point.

*Jade shrinks Skaia*

"Whelp better get back to shitty comics then."

[Aldurin]

*points to the RP forum where Aldurin has been writing Homestuck Troll fanfiction for over a year now*

*ahem* The term for it is "alternate Alpha timeline", not this peasantry noun pronounced "fanfic".

[POS Industries]

I kinda feel bad for not doing the rest of the reset kids introductions like I'd momentarily planned, because I could have felt really cool about guessing that Nanna's name was Jane.

But I didn't, so it doesn't matter.

[greed]

Ahaha it's Ron Swanson on the back wall. Best kid ever.


edit: And Dr Manhattan with another poster over his Empire State Building.

[Revising Ocelot]

What does the troll text on the computer say? I can never remember how to translate that stuff.

And that SBURB ALPHA poster has a Betty Crocker logo on it. Who is now multiglobal. :ohdear:


Oh, and I'm not spoiler tagging this because people who see a new thread title, and then don't check MSPA before going in the thread are silly.

[POS Industries]

What does the troll text on the computer say? I can never remember how to translate that stuff.
"Press ==> to continue."

Anyway, might as well compile the list of things we can take away from this update.

Judging by the presence of Betty Crocker and Lil' Cal, as well as the color shift in the curtains to green, Lord English has his hands all over the reset session. It is 2x3prong Day, a phoney baloney corporate holiday created for "rebranding purposes" by Betty Crocker, which references the 2x3dent strife specibus used by Feferi and the Condesce.

Guardian!Dave has become a successful comic creator, apparently. The Lalonde house has a bit more mad science going on in it, though it remains to be seen whether Guardian!Rose or Kid!Mom is the one behind much of it. Kid!Grandpa's location is the only one not shown, meaning that Guardian!Jade may have found a different place to settle down instead of the volcano island. He is already at work modifying the bunny, though it's unclear if this is due to his already being in contact with Classic!Jade or if the reset session has Con Air-inspired shenanigans afoot of its own. Considering that there are already two time-traveling bunnies sitting on Jane's bed, this could go either way. Or be both!

There also appears to be a thirteenth troll, based on Ophiuchus judging by the emblem above the monitor. I'm entirely at a loss as to what the deal is there, but I feel as though adding more trolls is the opposite of what we should be doing at this point in this story.

[Aldurin]

I think the more pressing matter is SBAHJ: The Movie. Will there ever be a flash of it?

[BitVyper]

Hmm, so the new kids will probably be older as well, and we have a clear indicator that "older" here actually means they're a significant ways past the important birthday. At least this is all true of Jane. That's interesting.

Edit: So it looks like Bro's sword is a product of his dreams in this timeline (and something like Cal is there too, although I'm kinda guessing it won't have Cal's head).

Edit:

There also appears to be a thirteenth troll, based on Ophiuchus judging by the emblem above the monitor. I'm entirely at a loss as to what the deal is there, but I feel as though adding more trolls is the opposite of what we should be doing at this point in this story.

My shot-in-the-dark guess is that it's a troll from the aborted timeline. Either one who survived, or from before the timeline was aborted.

[POS Industries]

They're either all older, or Jane and Kid!Grandpa are a couple years older than the others, as a reflection of how they were many years older in the original session.

If that's the case, then it's possible that John, Rose, Dave, and Jade are still all the same age in this session, as well.

[BitVyper]

I dunno, it's still strange when every other character has been in the same year as their passage-to-adulthood birthday.

Judging by the presence of Betty Crocker and Lil' Cal

We didn't actually SEE the puppet's head, so it might not be Cal. That said; if it is, I would kind of expect this Cal to be the one that becomes the prototype from which Lord English originally takes his form. Maybe.

[POS Industries]

Yeah, I can't say I'm really sure how Cal would fit into this timeline, due to his existence being the result of a very specific chain of events involving two universes and a self-fulfilling paradox of one boy's emotional trauma.

As for the age, it's just a joke about how long the comic's been running. Jane arrived on Earth on April 13, 1996, just as John did. But now the comic takes place today instead of April 13, 2009, so Jane is 15 instead.

[BitVyper]

Yeah, I can't say I'm really sure how Cal would fit into this timeline, due to his existence being the result of a very specific chain of events involving two universes and a self-fulfilling paradox of one boy's emotional trauma.

Could just be an echo of the session that created them.

just a joke

Translated to Homestuck, that means deadly serious. At any rate, I don't think it's a detail that can be disregarded easily.

Edit: If anyone in this timeline has "started to remember" as The Sufferer did, I'm gonna guess it's Rose or John.

[POS Industries]

Translated to Homestuck, that means deadly serious. At any rate, I don't think it's a detail that can be disregarded easily.
Well, obviously not, and it already hasn't been. The Condesce has chosen this specific date to apparently do something absolutely nefarious, and clearly had the means to delay the development of Sburb to suit the task.

This is all a very big deal. But it is still based in a simple joke, just like every other very big deal that's happened in this comic.

[Art of Hilt]

Oh god yes this is so fantastic.
Hysterical Dame/Nervous Broad poster?
Arrested Development?
She is pretty much already the best at this point.

[Krylo]

Counterpoint: Jeff Foxworthy poster.

[Locke cole]

Was that an Imagination Window I saw in that opening flash?

[Art of Hilt]

Counterpoint: Jeff Foxworthy poster.


Reverse counterpoint: she is a growing young girl who is going through a very confusing phase in life, and she simply can not resist that mustache of his.
I mean, let's be honest here: who could?

Was that an Imagination Window I saw in that opening flash?


I'm expecting Jade and John to pop out of there any second now.

[Dracorion]

Okay, if anyone's going to remember the previous timeline, I'm thinking it'll probably be Rose.

Because, see, then she'll be forced some way or another to be a distant and downright terrible parent to Mom Lalonde, like Mom was to her. Then again, maybe she doesn't really need past memories of a timeline that doesn't exist anymore to be a terrible parent.

[Flarecobra]

Counterpoint: Jeff Foxworthy poster.

He's just envious of the lush 'stashe.

[Mr.Bookworm]

Someone else just pointed out something very interesting to me.

It is so elite in fact, you are the only of your kind invited to playtest!

Uh. "Only of your kind"?

Furthermore, multiglobal is pretty odd wording. It's usually multinational. Multiglobal sounds more like multiple planets.

Sooooo, I'm thinking the trolls have conquered Earth in this reality.

[Flarecobra]

Either that, or work togeather. Contact has been made for sure though.

[Intern Nin]

Uh. "Only of your kind"?

Furthermore, multiglobal is pretty odd wording. It's usually multinational. Multiglobal sounds more like multiple planets.

Sooooo, I'm thinking the trolls have conquered Earth in this reality.

That is a very strange thing to say. Maybe this earth has experienced the same molding and guidance that Alternia had, i.e. Scratch is here as well.

I doubt the trolls have conquered Earth in this universe, because as you can plainly see Jane is still alive and happy.

[Mr.Bookworm]

Either that, or work togeather. Contact has been made for sure though.

The trolls. Peaceful contact. It could happen, I guess.

That is a very strange thing to say. Maybe this earth has experienced the same molding and guidance that Alternia had, i.e. Scratch is here as well.

I doubt Scratch is here, but their First Guardian might have done something, yeah.

I doubt the trolls have conquered Earth in this universe, because as you can plainly see Jane is still alive and happy.Well, I have no idea. At first I was thinking it meant humanity was just different somehow, but then the "your kind" line doesn't make sense, so goddammit Hussie you cockteasing bastard.

Other thing, though: Jane has a troll Howie Mandel poster on her wall. I am kind of doubting she's a Little Monsters fan.

But anyway, if it's true that the trolls and humans are on the same planet for whatever reason, I wonder what that means for the other three kids with the "your kind" line? Are we going to get troll versions of Bro, Grandpa, and Mom?

Other other unrelated thing: Jane apparently wields the Spoonkind strife specibus (the card is on her table and she has a spoon on her bed). That makes sense.

Edited other other other unrelated unrelated thing: I am guessing Jade and John are going to come crashing right the fuck through the wall we saw at some point (either that, or they already have!).

[Loyal]

Considering the Trolls make their home in their own universe quite distinct from Earth's, I doubt they as a species have conquered or in any meaningful way interacted with Humans. Chances are whatever Hussie means by Multiglobal, it's exclusively a matter of what the Empress herself has accomplished when she was brought to Earth.

Also I don't see Howie Mandel anywhere, much less a troll version.

[Dracorion]

Guys, guys, you're missing the really important implication here, if the trolls really did conquer/peacefully cooperate with Earth.

Troll Lil' Cal.

EDIT:

Also I don't see Howie Mandel anywhere, much less a troll version.

I think it's the poster that's covering Doctor Manhattan's junk.

[POS Industries]

Another thing worth noting: The Condesce contacted Dave from the new session, as that's the only timeline in which ICP would have lived long enough to make the "Miracles" video.

[Mr.Bookworm]

I think it's the poster that's covering Doctor Manhattan's junk.

Yeah, that's it.

Another thing worth noting: The Condesce contacted Dave from the new session, as that's the only timeline in which ICP would have lived long enough to make the "Miracles" video.

Wait, when did that happen?

EDIT: And hey it's Grandpa, or Jake I guess we have to call him now.

With the horrorterrors and the Green Sun on his bed, too. Also, he's making the bunny. So yeah.

EDIT2: I wonder what's up with the placronym thing?

EDIT3: I am guessing we are going to get another jump cut in the same style to the other two to get them introduced.

EDIT4: It's also interesting that Jake's introduction makes no mention of Sburb.

[POS Industries]

Wait, when did that happen?
Right here. (http://www.mspaintadventures.com/scratch.php?s=6&p=005928)

Also, just as Jane was hinted at being the Maid of Life in her description, so too has Jake been revealed as the Page of Hope. Neato.

With the horrorterrors and the Green Sun on his bed, too.
Not horrorterrors, actually. It's the trolls' lusii.

EDIT: Especially troubling, however, is the picture of LE on his shirt.

[Locke cole]

I wonder what's up with the placronym thing?

Remember page 1?

Though it was thirteen years ago he was given life, it is only today he will be given a name!

Sure, it was eventually made clear that John's always been John since birth, but it appears that the Plaqueronym is a specially engraved nameplate traditionally given out on one's 13th birthday, perhaps to cement one's name. We can't "Enter Name" because our new heroes are older than 13.

Also: Jake English. I am a tad worried for irrational reasons.

[Mr.Bookworm]

Right here. (http://www.mspaintadventures.com/scratch.php?s=6&p=005928)

Thanks, I missed that.

Also, just as Jane was hinted at being the Maid of Life in her description, so too has Jake been revealed as the Page of Hope. Neato.Huh. Yeah. That's interesting.

There are also some similarities to Eridan with Jake in same way Jane has some similarities to the Condesce/Feferi, but that could just be coincidence.

Not horrorterrors, actually. It's the trolls' lusii.*checks* True!

EDIT: Especially troubling, however, is the picture of LE on his shirt.

Holy crap you're right. And the name...

Remember page 1?

Yeah, but that was a pseudo-game construct. The appearance of the placronyms certainly looks like them, but that's probably more of a call back than anything else.

But anyway, Placronyms are apparently some kind of tradition, which is yet another difference caused by the Scratch, I guess.

[Bard The 5th LW]

English and Crocker? I'd wager we are in for some interesting Guardian Strifes.

[Flarecobra]

He's a Man's Man right there.

All he needs is a mustache, and a snappy hat and he'd be Saxton Hale.

I also noticed.. he's got The Uberbunny.

[Locke cole]

Yeah, but that was a pseudo-game construct. The appearance of the placronyms certainly looks like them, but that's probably more of a call back than anything else.

But anyway, Placronyms are apparently some kind of tradition, which is yet another difference caused by the Scratch, I guess.

Yeah, it's a pseudo-game construct, but it seems to be being justified here. That is, if John's birthday hadn't gone all spirograph-shaped, he would have recieved a name.

Specifically, his own.

Engraved on a plaque.

[Bard The 5th LW]

Also, the computer looked sort of like it had an ophiuchus symbol on it.

[POS Industries]

I also noticed.. he's got The Uberbunny.
Also, the computer looked sort of like it had an ophiuchus symbol on it.
I feel as though I shouldn't have swap tagged this post. (http://www.nuklearforums.com/showpost.php?p=1167191&postcount=8766)

[Bard The 5th LW]

Im actually considering the possibility that the Ophiuchus Troll is the Scratched reader.

[Art of Hilt]

Oh god, on Jake's wall.
I can't believe Hussie just put this on Jake's wall. (http://ib.skaia.net/post/view/22819?search=Lord_English)

[Revising Ocelot]

"you'd give your RIGHT LEG for a shot..."

Took me a while to get that one. I'm getting real worried about what Cal's going to look like.


EDIT: Haha, just noticed the Lusii bedsheet.

[stefan]

calling it now, pa Crocker is a play on Mobster Kingpin.

[Revising Ocelot]

Bro's silhouette. Best hair.

[Aldurin]

Bro's silhouette. Best hair.

I second this, clearly the most important hair of all.

[rpgdemon]

Also, just as Jane was hinted at being the Maid of Life in her description, so too has Jake been revealed as the Page of Hope. Neato.

Wat?

"you'd give your RIGHT LEG for a shot..."

Took me a while to get that one. I'm getting real worried about what Cal's going to look like.

Huh?

[Mr.Bookworm]

Wat?

When it does, you will waste no time in embarking on the game's MAIDEN VOYAGE, and if even a fraction of what you've heard turns out to be true, you are prepared to have the time of your LIFE!!!

There is a good SKULL at the heart of any mystery, haunting its EVERY PAGE. That is what you always say. Or at least, it is what you always HOPE.

Both in the exact same place on the intro.

Huh?

Lord English is missing a leg (specifically, his right one) and has a pegleg. Jake has a LE head on his shirt and a poster referring to Lord English on his wall. There's also his name.

That's slightly worrying.

[rpgdemon]

Oh, so the idea is Cal = LE?

[Locke cole]

Well, Cal = Scratch = LE, so Cal = LE.

[POS Industries]

So here's a thought: What if John and Jade arrive before the guardian kids enter their session?

At this very moment, the human race may actually have a chance at survival.

[BitVyper]

Well look at that, maybe they can still get the Matriorb back.

Edit: Also this business with the recipe modus appears to be the first indication that these kids are better prepared for the game, as the trolls were. Still, it doesn't seem to be to the same extent.

[POS Industries]

So, at this very moment, there's a chance to both save humanity and repopulate the trolls.

We might just be getting a happy ending out of this story after all.

[Art of Hilt]

It's one of your funnymen pinups, a glorious FOXWORTHY. It's one interest that overlaps with your DAD'S. He thinks his corny redneck shtick is just the funniest thing since sliced bread, that was sliced by a hilarious clown with a laugh knife. Honestly, you don't care much for his comedy though. Dealing the low income bucolic classes affectionate sass ad nauseum isn't what you'd call your cup of tea. You just think he's really handsome.

Oh hey look at that I was right about Jane's purely physical attraction to Foxworthy.

Jane Crocker = Still the best. I am thoroughly vindicated.

[Locke cole]

I don't think I want to think about laugh knives, which are probably exactly what Laughsassins used.

[stefan]

So, at this very moment, there's a chance to both save humanity and repopulate the trolls.

We might just be getting a happy ending out of this story after all.

I imagine Act I v3 is going to continue just long enough to get back into the "usual rhythm" before the SS Harleydog busts through the 5th wall and shit gets real.

bonus points if it happens entirely without warning by way of an interrupt panel.

[POS Industries]

The ship should burst onto the scene right around here. (http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=002146)

[rpgdemon]

Calling it: Bro is awkward and un-coolkid, based on the silhouette.

Look at his feet. They seem to be bashfully pointing inward.

[Locke cole]

"Troll Howie Mandel", eh?

So are trolls a thing in this Scratched universe?

[Aldurin]

Probably a fad from some douchebag's webcomic.

[Intern Nin]

Except the douchebag in question is currently putting out Problem Sleuth 2, having decided to stay the course rather than try anything new.

[Aldurin]

Yeah.

Also we can pretty much accept that all walls of narration will not come out intact by the end of Homestuck.

[Intern Nin]

Oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god

A bunny made from scratch!

From post-scratch Bro!

There may be a Lil Cal bunny on the loose!

Or possibly a smuppet!

[Kerensky287]

He had to make it himself from scratch

I see what you did there.

[Locke cole]

And Dad is still Dad. Can't wait to see Johnsprite.

[rpgdemon]

I actually feel like Dad might remember the pre-Scratched universe, and be trying to avoid certain problems, by captchalogging the car.

Unrelated: It's so weird having things all of the sudden just going back to lazy slow beginning of Homestuck stuff, knowing all the tension that's currently happening and going on, with LE and everything else, and how it's going to have to happen SOON.

[Dracorion]

Oh man oh God.

Guys, guys. I think this means John did Betty Crocker. Why do I wish it meant John did Betty Crocket?

[rpgdemon]

A bit off topic, but can we go back to saying "Update", before we talk about the new update?

[Mr.Bookworm]

I actually think, based on the bunny descriptions (of Rose's Mom having a mother and Jake having a Grandmother) that the Dad we just saw is John all Guardian-fied.

[POS Industries]

No, because Jake has a grandmother because Jade had a grandpa and Mom has a mom because Rose had a mom. In all likelihood, John is Jane's grandfather and Dad is the same old dad. Maybe the man Nanna married had a sister?

Also:

totally BFFSIES 4EVERZ, her words.
Kid!Mom is going to be so fucking adorable.

[stefan]

kind of disappointed that scratchdad isn't not!DMK, really.

considering all of the "dad egbert is problem sleuth" jokes that got bandied around in early homestuck, I kind of imagined it to be exactly the sort of joke twist Hussie would pull.

[Archbio]

Oh man oh God.

Oh man oh God. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y9KyBdPeKHg)

[BitVyper]

Interesting; this makes Dad a constant in both universes. I'm interested to see how similar he is in character to the Dad we know. I'm also wondering what his relationship with this universe's John is. Our John and HIS Dad were brothers, after all, but that doesn't seem like it would work on this side of things.

At any rate; I think I might have mentioned this before, but I'm going to say it again: I don't think the post-scratch characters will have been created in the post-scratch session. This all seems like it's going to be the reverse of the troll scratch in a lot of ways.

[Art of Hilt]

Dad!
Oh wait what DAD??
I bet Nanna Jane adopted him. That's why he's still in the reset; he was never a product of Nanna Jane's loins, he was some random product of Sassacre seed that she and also Grandpa John (from the looks of it) adopted.
In fact I'm willing to bet ectobiologized people can't reproduce without an ectobiology machine.
I bet all they're all a bunch of Ken dolls.

[Ryong]

I'm expecting Dad to still be Dad and, at some point soon, Jane will find the ashes of her beloved grandpa, John.

[Locke cole]

Well, yeah.

That's why I'm interested in seeing Johnsprite.

Oh man oh God.

Guys, guys. I think this means John did Betty Crocker. Why do I wish it meant John did Betty Crocket?

Even though I know that it's all ectobiology-based instead of normal reproduction, this still makes me want to deliver some cheesy line based on "the batterwich has her claws in everything".

[Dracorion]

Sure, Jane came from ectobiology.

But in public, Dad and his DAD made quite the pair. Everyone could tell by a glance that he was his father's son, sired from his loins directly and genetically, through what was undoubtedly a natural process of human procreation involving a man and a woman. People would definitely nod and say, "Yep, that little dude sure did emerge from a womb on account of that gentleman's awesome virility."

[Locke cole]

Now, is Betty Crocker Jane's mother or grandmother? The answer changes things a bit.

[Art of Hilt]

Maybe she's her great grandmother, just like she was with John.

[Bard The 5th LW]

Oh, so its just Dad then? This'll make the future reunion awkward.

John: dad! I thought I'd never see you again?

Dad: Child I think you have me mistaken for someone else.

[POS Industries]

Update.

Subliminal messages from BettyBother are as follows:

OBEY
CEASE REPRODUCTION
CONSUME
SUBMIT
STAY ASLEEP

Also it would appear that the explanation for the word "multiglobal" has revealed itself with the colonization of Mars.

[BitVyper]

I bet Nanna Jane adopted him. That's why he's still in the reset; he was never a product of Nanna Jane's loins, he was some random product of Sassacre seed that she and also Grandpa John (from the looks of it) adopted.

I'm preeeetty sure that Nannasprite suggested Dad was her true son somewhere in her story to FedoraFreak, but I'm not in the mood to reread the thing right now.

Subliminal messages from BettyBother are as follows:

At the very least, at least some of those messages seem intended for Jane herself. Cease reproduction and stay asleep in particular. Jane is meant to have a hero-son with Jake, after all.

[Loyal]

Yes, Dad is Nanna's actual-son. In the old 'verse anyway.

[Art of Hilt]

I stared lovingly at Guy Fieri's face for far too long before getting freaked out.
Guy Fieri how could you betray me

[POS Industries]

The Sburb players do have some pretty outstanding genetics, since they're specifically engineered for their roles in the game. It's not exactly improbable that any offspring of John or Jane with a normal human would just be Dad by virtue of magical dominant scifi chromosomes.

At the very least, at least some of those messages seem intended for Jane herself. Cease reproduction and stay asleep in particular. Jane is meant to have a hero-son with Jake, after all.
I have to imagine that God Tier John and Jade showing up in every reality despite all of her best preventative efforts has to be quite frustrating for Her Imperious Condescension.

[Arcanum]

Whelp, pretty much 100% confirmed that the Condesce is in this universe.

[Revising Ocelot]

Oh god Pesterlog

I am picturing Jake's accent, and it's exactly like mine. :(

[Art of Hilt]

1) Detective reference in gutsyGumshoe further confirms Jane's superiority
2) "Poppop", awww. Poppop John Crocker.
3) OH JESUS JAKE YOUR EYES FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU

[Loyal]

I'm wondering what practical purpose the English-eye-goggles might serve.

[POS Industries]

So the chumhandle initials appear to be staying mostly the same so far with GG (gutsyGumshoe/gardenGnostic) and GT (golgothasTerror/ghostyTrickster). Despite the changes in last names for Jane and Jake, the Strider family name remains intact, as likely do the Lalondes.

[BitVyper]

Looks like the new universe has slightly different grammar. I'm reminded of Equius correcting Nepeta.

[rpgdemon]

Looks like the new universe has slightly different grammar. I'm reminded of Equius correcting Nepeta.

No, that's grammatically correct.

You wouldn't say "It's a gift from she", you'd say, "It's a gift from her."

[Art of Hilt]

So the chumhandle initials appear to be staying mostly the same so far with GG (gutsyGumshoe/gardenGnostic) and GT (golgothasTerror/ghostyTrickster). Despite the changes in last names for Jane and Jake, the Strider family name remains intact, as likely do the Lalondes.

I guess Bro and Mom are free from nefarious influences.

Or I guess it's more a case that in this universe, since Betty Crocker would have a "son" in Poppop John instead of a "daughter" in Nanna Jane, her last name would pass all the way down more easily than it would for Nanna Jane who'd have married an Egbert and changed her name.

Meanwhile Grandpa Jake named himself after his dog which I guess... doesn't have as much influence here with Grandma Jade? Maybe English KILLED the DOG

[Locke cole]

Naw, Grandma Harley just changed her last name when she married some dude with the surname English.

Same reason that Poppop Crocker doesn't have the surname Egbert here.

Wait, would it be Poppop Crocker? I dunno. It depends on whether HIC is Jane's mother or grandmother.

[Art of Hilt]

Naw, Grandma Harley just changed her last name when she married some dude with the surname English.


That hadn't occurred to me at all. For some reason I assumed Grandma Jade was some bachelorette adventurer like Grandpa.

Wait, would it be Poppop Crocker? I dunno. It depends on whether HIC is Jane's mother or grandmother.


I sort of assumed HIC is Jane's great grandmother, like she was with John.

[POS Industries]

There are still a number of X-factors unaccounted for in this timeline. For instance, the fate of Colonel Sassacre. Given that no dual pistol-wielding babies fell from the sky in April 1910, reports of his death are not only greatly exaggerated, but undoubtedly nonexistent for the era.

[stefan]

There are still a number of X-factors unaccounted for in this timeline. For instance, the fate of Colonel Sassacre. Given that no dual pistol-wielding babies fell from the sky in April 1910, reports of his death are not only greatly exaggerated, but undoubtedly nonexistent for the era.

presumably he lived long enough to tutor scratch!john in the ways of frivolity and shenanigans.

[Dracorion]

There are still a number of X-factors unaccounted for in this timeline. For instance, the fate of Colonel Sassacre. Given that no dual pistol-wielding babies fell from the sky in April 1910, reports of his death are not only greatly exaggerated, but undoubtedly nonexistent for the era.

Uh, do we know that for sure?

Grandma Jade probably arrived via meteor and it might've been in 1910 and she could possibly have been wielding pistols.

That being said, goddammit Jake stop giving off so many LE vibes right this instant young man. And stop talking so stupid weird before I smack you one.

EDIT: Also, what's that piece of paper on Jake's desk? It doesn't look like it's written in English. Oh wait duh it's the note he sent John nevermind.

[POS Industries]

Uh, do we know that for sure?

Grandma Jade probably arrived via meteor and it might've been in 1910 and she could possibly have been wielding pistols.
Nope, we already established that Grandma Jade landed with what eventually became the Indiana Jones bunny Jake gave to Jane for her 13th birthday. It would appear that everyone arrived on Earth in this timeline with the same items they had in the original, so in all likelihood Poppop John had the Sassacre text with him, whereas Jake landed with the pistols and oh my god I just realized he killed Grandma Jade.

Fuck.

[Locke cole]

Odd. His way of writing wasn't nearly as crazy in his letter to John.

Well, yeah, he dropped the line "Oh kicking Christ in a dirty diaper", and talked about Scrums and Whatnot, and used "Gadzooks" unironically, but here, he's dropping stuff like "botherations" and "spanking ripsnorter" and "Devilfucking dickins" all the time.

[Bard The 5th LW]

Well that was written in Act 4, so I guess this is just Hussie's vision of the character changing a bit.

[POS Industries]

Everyone's introduction had sort of an overexaggerated version of themselves to more fully give the reader a facefull of what to expect with that character, though. Like, remember when Dave rapped all the time? This is like that but with loosely Teddy Rooseveltian gibberish.

[Loyal]

Or:

When writing a letter one would have more time to carefully consider their words than the fast-and-loose world of instant-messaging. He might choose to be more reserved when speaking with someone he's never met before, particularly a grand-uncle. As the end of the letter drew near he became more rushed and reverted to his vulgarities.

Also, this page seems to be (or will become shortly) significant. (http://mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=005575)

[Locke cole]

It's been significant a few times already. It foreshadowed Jade fully becoming the Witch of Space, and that John would use a magic needle the size of a skyscraper to Scratch the session.

[Loyal]

I meant relevant in the more future, soon-to-be-present sense. That is to say, significant again.

That is to say, either Grandma Jade's legacy (I'm assuming she was still Witch of Space) was helping make the Robobunny and sending it to the not-scratched session, or not-scratched Jade, after arriving, became Grandma Jade (with Dave's help most likely).

[BitVyper]

No, that's grammatically correct.

You wouldn't say "It's a gift from she", you'd say, "It's a gift from her."

Ah, yeah you're right. My bad.

[Locke cole]

That there be some hardcore rebranding.

SPORKKIND is what I am calling her specibi.

[Art of Hilt]

(You make a mental note that when you turn 18 and inherit the company you will change it back to a spoon, you love the spoon.)

As Feferi planned to inherit and rebuild the entirety of troll society from the ground up, so too does Jane plan for great and even nobler changes in her empire.

[Ecks]

I think some people have forgotten this spritelog (http://www.mspaintadventures.com/scratch.php?s=6&p=005856).

So, HIC is not, in actuality, ANYONE'S mother. Not sure how it holds up post-scratch, but I can only assume that, as terry kiser is present in both timelines, I'm going to assume it's true until Hussie proves otherwise.

EDIT: Also, there's something here I'm hoping one of you can clarify:

She was forced to continue the journey home on auxiliary power. Her ship now travels near the speed of light, a pale shadow of its former velocity. It would take her another 612 solar sweeps after the Glub to reach her destination.

She should arrive any minute now. When she does, she will find nothing but ruins and dust. If she cared to look closer, she would find a city of slain exiles, a man on the moon, and a pair of black lovers locked in a deadly dance. But whether she looks or not, one thing will find her with certainty.

A new employment opportunity.

Who is the man on the moon? I get city of slain exiles (Intermission 1, Midnight Crew vs. the Felt) and pair of black lovers (Spades Slick and Snowman, as of [S] Cascade), but I can't figure man on the moon. Is it Scratch? Lord English (who was "already here" but not circumstantially simultaneously "summoned" yet)? Hussie? Some other fool? Perhaps the troll we saw here (http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=006014)?

[Art of Hilt]

Yes, Doc Scratch is the man on the moon. Doc Scratch is actually known to troll society this way in a legendary capacity.

http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=004160

You consult with your MAGIC CUE BALL, an extremely rare treasure you recently plundered from an ancient crypt, and one of many rumored to be hidden across the globe. Each at one time belonged to the strange and powerful man fabled to live on the green moon, but have since managed to escape his vision.

edit- upda-

>:U !!!

[Mr.Bookworm]

Welp, uh, that was an interesting series of updates.

Stuff:

The 13th troll either doesn't know shit about the hemospectrum (a distinct possibility, given the weird time shit involved) or s/he has blood like Karkat's. Or possibly rainbow blood, to troll the fandom.

UU knows a crapload about everything that's been going on. It also looks like s/he is about to play out his/her own session.

Uranian is an interesting word. It originally referred to someone with a female psyche in a male body, and later came to be used as a more catch-all term for homosexuality. Given the very distinct girl-vibes I'm getting off of him/her, I'm guessing that the name hints that UU is a guy.

Oh hey it's John on the trunk lid. Looks like Grandpa, but with Johns' glasses, messier hair, and what looks like his ghost-slime thing on his breast pocket.

Mom is indeed a Lalonde. It looks like she might be following in her daughter's footsteps, oooor she could be the Hero of Void, since that's apparently the power Equius and his ancestor had.

Jane is confirmed as the Hero of Life.

Jane is also using Karkat's :B there, or at least I think that's what she's doing, which is interesting. EDIT: No wait, she's doing it because her two front teeth do the B thing. Still I wouldn't put it past Hussie to mean something. =/

Some other stuff happens (okay it's all talking but it's interesting talking) go read the damn update.

EDIT: I have come to the conclusion that Homestuck is a social experiment designed to see exactly how much speculation you can provoke with a webcomic.

[Arhra]

Sooooooo, think UU's from the first troll session?

[Mr.Bookworm]

My first thought was actually that UU is the Sufferer. He's Jegus, after all, so the caduceus as his symbol kind of fits, and the cancer symbol didn't become associated with him until after his death. He also presumably has Karkat's blood, which would explain the type color.

The Sufferer never really struck me as the bubbly, personable type, though.

[katiuska]

Sooooooo, think UU's from the first troll session?

That seems most reasonable to me. The alternatives would be either that they're from a) our troll session, which doesn't fit with everything we know up to now, or b) a entirely new session and God knows we need that even less than one new troll.

I kind of thought the Sufferer too, but he was the Signless before he was the Sufferer--he wouldn't have a symbol unless he adopted one for himself. UU also probably ought to have blue blood given Ophiuchus' placement, but Karkat should have yellow-green blood going just by that, so it might not matter (Karkat presumably not having yellow-green blood due to some mutation).

[BitVyper]

At this point, I'm sticking with my earlier guess about the Caduceus troll(?) being from pre-scratch Alternia, however... the symbol is a problem. We SAW the pre-scratch troll symbols, and they were just the current troll symbols reversed. UU is coming out of nowhere no matter where you put him(?).

At any rate, pre-scratch troll-verse is about the only place that makes any sense. He's obviously not from any of the sessions we've actually witnessed, and he confirmed himself that he's in a different session from the current batch. Given that he's also come out and said this involves four universes, and that the fourth pretty much has to be pre-scratch trollverse, that's about the only reasonable place to stick him. It just doesn't make an awful lot of sense as things stand.

As far as UU knowing a lot of things goes... he doesn't seem especially more informed than anyone who has been waking up on Prospit their entire life has been, although he's informed on different details. He reminds me of Jade back in the early acts, especially given that we've learned that she knew the basic purpose of the game since then.. The fact that he's been awake his entire life implies to me that he is in contact with a First Guardian, by the by.

Uranian is an interesting word. It originally referred to someone with a female psyche in a male body, and later came to be used as a more catch-all term for homosexuality. Given the very distinct girl-vibes I'm getting off of him/her, I'm guessing that the name hints that UU is a guy.

Pretty much with you on this one, yeah.

[Locke cole]

Also, UU somehow managed to make ^u^ not look stupid.

Seems it was a problem with the "eyes".

[Dracorion]

If UU is from the pre-Scratch troll universe, it could be the reason he doesn't act like the Sufferer or Karkat is because trolls were a much nicer race before Doc Scratch got involved and turned them into dicks.

[Aldurin]

If UU is from the pre-Scratch troll universe, it could be the reason he doesn't act like the Sufferer or Karkat is because trolls were a much nicer race before Doc Scratch got involved and turned them into dicks.

Nah, "cheering" in their communication program is clearly meant to convey malicious intent.

[Marc v4.0]

Hey, maybe it isn't a troll

[rpgdemon]

Hey, maybe it isn't a troll

I was wondering that actually, since he doesn't make any horns in his smilies.

[Loyal]

Neither does Aradia, Gamzee, Nepeta, or Feferi.

But pretty sure it is in fact a troll, (http://mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=006014) even ignoring everything else pointing to UU being a thirteenth troll.

[Arcanum]

Not all the trolls put horns on their smiley faces. The grey text is leading me to believe it's the Sufferer in pre-scratch Alterniaverse. Now you may be all like "but he didn't have a sign blah blah blah" but he only didn't have a sign in the post-scratch Alterniaverse. Also, the signs seemed like a tool to perpetuate caste superiority, so it would make sense if signs didn't exist in pre-scratch Alterniaverse. Also the Caduceus symbol was only on the monitor, we have no idea if it belongs specifically to UU.

[BitVyper]

Hey, maybe it isn't a troll

Since we know it isn't human, the only way it isn't a troll is if it's some non-troll alien that also has grey skin and a troll-script keyboard. The only other real possibility I can see at this point is that it's a far-flung future troll/human hybrid. That's not impossible, but it's not any more likely than any of the other cockamanie ideas as to who this troll is.

However, I will now assume that it is the child of John, and Vriska.

[Premmy]

so Jane is talking to her mother then?

[BitVyper]

Yes.

[POS Industries]

I'm just going to add that it's a testament to how long Act 5 dragged on when UU was introduced a year and a half after her theme song. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pc369tQlJws)

[Aldurin]

I'm just going to add that it's a testament to how long Act 5 dragged on when UU was introduced a year and a half after her theme song. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pc369tQlJws)

The top comment in that vid reveals all of the shitload connections to astrology and genetics.

1) Umbral Ultimatum

2) The thirteenth semi-official astrological sign is Ophiuchus.

3) It's symbol? is a U with a tilde through it.

4) All of the troll's trollian handles are made of letters that represent chemicals in DNA (T, C, A, G).

5) U is a letter used to represent chemicals in RNA, a DNA variant.

6) This track sounds like the soundtrack of Spore, a game dealing with genetics (and an official inspiration for Homestuck, to boot).

Has your mind been blown, yet?

[Art of Hilt]

The only other real possibility I can see at this point is that it's a far-flung future troll/human hybrid.

Well, uU's sign IS both grey AND light green.
Like a certain loud yet adorable partnership (http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=004752).

[Marc v4.0]

Since we know it isn't human

We don't know anything, yet.

UU and the troll could be entirely different people.

[Bard The 5th LW]

Id initially assumed it was Crocker under the guise of a cheery and supportive grandmother, but that was only until I got midway into the conversation.

[BitVyper]

We don't know anything, yet.

If we assume that UU is not, in fact, the person we saw watching Jane from a computer with the Caduceus symbol on it shortly before UU contacts Jane and makes clear that he has been watching her, in spite of the fact that it lines up basically perfectly, then he is still someone with access to the technology to chat across time and universes, something we've only seen trollian permit. He hasn't started his game yet, so he can't have alchemized anything either.

They could be different people. That is a thing that's possible, but the much greater likelihood is on them being the same being.

[Marc v4.0]

OR, I'm a complete dumbshit and missed UU's chat Symbol.

[stefan]

bit of info on scratch!John.

why does the idea of him as a vaudevillian stage performer seem so right

also night court. And Feferi's tiara.

[POS Industries]

Given that being crushed by a baby-hauling meteor probably doesn't fall into either category of a "heroic" or "just" death, I think anyone leaning toward the idea that the kids went back in time to become the guardians can go ahead and abandon that notion.

Also John could never bring himself to be party to the ruination of Harry Anderson's career, come on.

[BitVyper]

Given that being crushed by a baby-hauling meteor probably doesn't fall into either category of a "heroic" or "just" death, I think anyone leaning toward the idea that the kids went back in time to become the guardians can go ahead and abandon that notion.

I never realised anyone was leaning that way. I can't see any reason to think that at all, however that could totally be a heroic death if say, he could have stopped the meteor but didn't because he realised Jane would be on it and didn't want to accidentally hurt her.

But that doesn't change the fact that it's just a bad theory to begin with.

[IHateMakingNames]

It's still John, but it's not pre-Scratch God-Tier John. That John should be somewhere crusing it with Jade in vague space-time 4th wall areas. That was the John produced by the Scratch.

[POS Industries]

I never realised anyone was leaning that way. I can't see any reason to think that at all, however that could totally be a heroic death if say, he could have stopped the meteor but didn't because he realised Jane would be on it and didn't want to accidentally hurt her.

But that doesn't change the fact that it's just a bad theory to begin with.
I've heard it mentioned a couple times, groaned, rolled my eyes, started to type up a rebuttal, but then decided it probably wasn't an idea that would gain that much steam anyway.

There's just so many things that would require everyone involved to act completely out of character for the sake of preserving the stable time loop that it just can't work.

It's still John, but it's not pre-Scratch God-Tier John. That John should be somewhere crusing it with Jade in vague space-time 4th wall areas. That was the John produced by the Scratch.
I figure for the sake of easiness, it's best to simplify "John" as referring to John Egbert and "Poppop" to refer to John Crocker. Similarly, "Jane" is Jane Crocker, whereas "Nanna" is her pre-scratch incarnation, etc.

[Aldurin]

That John should be somewhere crusing it with Jade in vague space-time 4th wall areas.

My worry is that in the LE flash we never saw the ship actually go through the other panel, time just froze and they stopped in between them. There is no actual confirmation yet that they went through to the scratched universe.

[IHateMakingNames]

My worry is that in the LE flash we never saw the ship actually go through the other panel, time just froze and they stopped in between them. There is no actual confirmation yet that they went through to the scratched universe.
Somewhere in the tumblr Hussie said that the ship would crash through the mirror and be in the room for nanoseconds then crash through he other mirror, as part of his explanation as to why he hasn't really broken any 4th walls.

Also I'd place Hussie's room as a vague space-time 4th wall area.

[POS Industries]

That's because they haven't arrived yet from our perspective. We're still on a point in the new timeline preceding their entry.

However, we did receive confirmation from UU that they will be arriving in this universe, as will Rose and Dave, due to the line about this session having 8 players.

[Dracorion]

Wait, wait. If Jane's Sassacre text is the current one, who has the worn-out one we saw in the Act 6 intro?

Oh, probably did.

In any case, I doubt Opie the Troll is from pre-Scratch Alternia. He referred to four instances of universe, which most likely means pre-Scratch Alternia, post-Scratch Alternia, pre-Scratch Earth and post-Scratch Earth. Or he is pre-Scratch, and he's somehow privy to information that doesn't exist yet from his point of view in the timeline.

[Arcanum]

Wait, wait. If Jane's Sassacre text is the current one, who has the worn-out one we saw in the Act 6 intro?

Oh, probably did.

In any case, I doubt Opie the Troll is from pre-Scratch Alternia. He referred to four instances of universe, which most likely means pre-Scratch Alternia, post-Scratch Alternia, pre-Scratch Earth and post-Scratch Earth. Or he is pre-Scratch, and he's somehow privy to information that doesn't exist yet from his point of view in the timeline.

And what makes you so sure someone from pre-scratch Alternia wouldn't be able to have prophetic knowledge of events that would be set in motion by their session? In Homestuck.

Keep in mind that post-scratch Alternia is in it's own timeline, separate from pre-scratch Alternia.

[POS Industries]

And what makes you so sure someone from pre-scratch Alternia wouldn't be able to have prophetic knowledge of events that would be set in motion by their session? In Homestuck.
Well, for one thing, I doubt UU would be so chipper if she were aware of the inexorable failure of her own adventure, which she would have to be if she were already operating with full knowledge of the events of the following three sessions.

[BitVyper]

which she would have to be if she were already operating with full knowledge of the events of the following three sessions.

Well I wouldn't say FULL knowledge, but enough at any rate. That said, it's entirely possible UU still expects to survive in the event of a scratch if he actually IS from the previous trollverse.

Really though, at this point the only universe we can be certain UU is not sending these messages from, is the post-scratch humanverse.

[Arcanum]

Hey I'm not saying full knowledge. We all know dream clouds only tell you what you need to know.

Also seems like either Mr. Strider's handle or initials are DS. I'm leaning towards initials since both Jane and Jake haven't bucked the GCAT trend. QUICK! Everyone start guessing four letter names that start with D! (I'm guessing it's gonna be Dave because that just seems like something that would happen).

Also also oh god Strider is quite possibly into horses. This could end horribly wrong given Hussie's previous work (http://www.andrewhussie.com/comic.php?sec=archive&auth=Blurbs&cid=blurbs/00085-h.gif&blurb=h) (warning, if you are not familiar with Hussie's previous work that link might scar you).

[POS Industries]

Hey I'm not saying full knowledge. We all know dream clouds only tell you what you need to know.
True, but access to trans-universal viewports that can show you any point on the timeline affords one access to a great deal more in the way of precise info.

[stefan]

oh, Hussie.

you can photoshop a gun better than that.

[Dracorion]

In my head, I liked to think Dave just ended up calling him Brah Strider.

It'd be ironic, see?

But given his apparent initials I'm going to go with Dick from now on.

[POS Industries]

Yeah, he always struck me as being a Dick.

[Marc v4.0]

Yeah, he always struck me as being a Dick.

I can't help but think, now, that we're going to be getting Dick and Jane with Jack and Jill

[BitVyper]

Further indication that the post-scratch kids are better prepared for their session. Still not as ruthlessly as the trolls though.

Still, having millions of boondollars and tons of grist right out of the starting gate has got to be handy.

[Fifthfiend]

Yeah, he always struck me as being a Dick.

But we never see him shoot anybody in the face?

[Revising Ocelot]

Update.

I think Jane's beginning to notice it.



EMBRACE YOUR CULLING

[Art of Hilt]

Earths with sinister alien overlords are the BEST Earths.

[Revising Ocelot]

Y'know, I'm starting to think Jaspers is going to get First Guardian'd. It's Mom's icon (actually it's Mutie, but meh), like Bec was for Jade, and he's gotta get appearified to this session, die somehow and go back. Dead cat, perfect Ectobiology-fodder (Bec was dead Halley DNA + MEOW).

Probably going to be a BARK code too. Always odd that Bec came from MEOW.
And any Doc Scratch-esque elements (Jaspers wore a suit)? That'd make him Cat Scratch. Hoo hoo hoo!

[POS Industries]

As far as updates go, I can't help but find tipsyGnostalgic's debut to be more than a tad depressing.

[Aldurin]

As far as updates go, I can't help but find tipsyGnostalgic's debut to be more than a tad depressing.

Nah, we discovered scratched Seil, this is the best update.

[Locke cole]

Naw man, hse was freaking hilarious. As soon as I figured out that she was drunk, I read her entire thing out loud in a horridly slurred voice and just laughed.

By the way, attempts on Jane's life?

Crockercorp be serious business, yo.

[POS Industries]

Nah, we discovered scratched Seil, this is the best update.
No, don't get me wrong, it's good. She's a good, entertaining character. I'm just kinda bummed because there's apparently no way the Lalonde house can be anything but a dysfunctional hellhole at any point in paradox space.

Of course, there's still a lot more at hand here than we know, and I think TG dropped some interesting hints, specifically in regards to the apocalyptic nature of Sburb. Maybe scratch!Rose retained some memories from the original timeline? It could partially explain why she's stocking alcohol for no other reason than for her daughter to drink it.

[Locke cole]

Would she even be capable of retaining memories if the first Rose is currently outside of time and space?

That is to say, Rose escaped the Scratch. I don't think that Scratched Rose has any past-life memories to recover.

[Art of Hilt]

Oh fuck yes I can't contain myself
This is just so good
It's like someone got Dave, and shoved him in Rose's body, and wiped out her memories and turned her fantastic
Which I guess more accurately Dave is like if you got Mom's personality and shoved it in Bro's body but whatever you know what I mean
Oh my god now I'm just imagining what Bro is like, I'm not sure if anything I imagine right now could ever be close to accurate

http://plus4chan.org/b/mspa/src/132126377664.jpg

[POS Industries]

Would she even be capable of retaining memories if the first Rose is currently outside of time and space?

That is to say, Rose escaped the Scratch. I don't think that Scratched Rose has any past-life memories to recover.
Well, it depends. We don't know how memory retention through the scratch works, so we don't know if the living brain or immortal soul in question has to be present within the universe at the very point of the timeline reset for it to happen.

We must also factor in that we were shown the timeline essentially rewinding via the inside of LE's coat through the fourth wall, which could suggest that what we could refer to as "game data" (including the memories of the players) from every point on the timeline could have been up for grabs during the reset.

Or dead Roses from doomed timelines.

Or any number of asspull answers that Hussie could use to explain it away.

Hell, we don't even know how this timeline exists if the frog already died. There's a lot of technical stuff currently left up in the air right now.

[PCD]

Trolling via trolls: it's spreading. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=GtdKvS7p3qk)
Thought about putting it in the Interesting Crap thread but thought it would be more appreciated here.

[Premmy]

I can only imagine those students were pissed when they started talking about this with someone as if they knew something cool and obscure and that person was a homestuck fan.

[Ryong]

Hah, man, I told a friend of mine a few days ago that the scratched Mom Lalonde would be keeping her drinking habit and he didn't agree.

[Revising Ocelot]

STRIFE SPECIBI: 1/2 bottlekind.

[Aldurin]

STRIFE SPECIBI: 1/2 bottlekind.

Scratched mom is DemoSeil? This makes more and less sense at the same time.

[Revising Ocelot]

I roll with the Frying Pan, myself.

Especially since the Demoman still drinks from it when you taunt.

[Locke cole]

Scottish Handshake, ye landlubbers!

[BitVyper]

What if Jane and Jake's prophesied child is Lord English? Maybe the Condesce has been trying to stop just that.

[rpgdemon]

What if Jane and Jake's prophesied child is Lord English? Maybe the Condesce has been trying to stop just that.

Doesn't she work for him though?

[BitVyper]

Doesn't she work for him though?

By force, and being in another universe puts her beyond his immediate reach. Of course, that would be entirely according to his plan and end up causing the very thing she tried to prevent, but that's just how things are. She certainly would have every reason to hate him.

Of course, Nanna's story tells us that she was prophesied a son and a daughter who would save the world, which is obviously John and Jade (and further suggests that post-scratch Earth will somehow be saved).

However, Lord English as their son in this timeline suddenly seems really likely to me. Evidence from Nanna's story does contradict it somewhat though.

Edit: It would even explain why the Condesce is overtly trying to get her to play the game while also trying to kill her. Their relationship further mirrors the relationship between the Condesce and Feferi - that is, the Condesce would immediately have killed Feferi if not for Feferi's big powerful ally. She could be pushing English's agenda while covertly working against it in this timeline. Plus you've got the subliminal messages.

Of course this all plays into the plan. The Condesce can't know the full nature of the game. Even if she knows a little bit about it, she can't know things like that telling Jane to die is conducive to getting Jane into the god-tier.

It could have even been the same before. We don't know that her caste has any particular powers of prophesy, so it's likely she was instructed to bring about the births of John and Jade, and then purposely worked against that goal, which of course ensured the timeloop that would allow John and Jade to be born.

Edit: Geez, that even mirrors how Feferi got HER visions of the future, not from personal psychic power like with Sollux or Aradia, but through her link with a much more powerful being.

Edit: Alternately, it's also possible that LE is the son of Jake and someone who isn't Jane, and that by working to prevent the union of Jake and Jane, the Condesce ensures THAT version of things.

[Arcanum]

I'm still not seeing how Lord English being somebody's kid makes any sense in any way at all.

[BitVyper]

Obviously Lord English is a conglomerate of things. I think the son of Jake, and possibly Jane, is central to this.

Also hahaha @ Champion Christmas.

[Arcanum]

Well it seems like you're assuming the subliminal messages are directed solely at Jane. But the messages just seem like what the Condesce would do to a planet she made first contact with before sending word to her armies, essentially brainwash them into accepting extinction.

[Marc v4.0]

I'm still not seeing how Lord English being somebody's kid makes any sense in any way at all.

Yeah, this is some serious out of left field stuff

[POS Industries]

Obviously Lord English is a conglomerate of things.
I thought it was more obvious that the things that we think of him as being conglomerated from are more accurately extensions of himself via weird time shit. LE doesn't resemble Lil' Cal because Doc Scratch was paradoxed cloned from him, it's that Lil' Cal resembles LE because Cal was a manifestation created by LE from his influence over Gamzee. It's not as if there are different forms of LE determined by the universe in which he emerges. He is what he is. And he is already here.

Also dude come on we already know that Jake and Jane's kids are John and Jade. The reason the Condesce was trying to keep them apart was because she probably wasn't all that well-briefed on ectobiology at the time.

[BitVyper]

Well it seems like you're assuming the subliminal messages are directed solely at Jane. But the messages just seem like what the Condesce would do to a planet she made first contact with before sending word to her armies, essentially brainwash them into accepting extinction.

That certainly seems to be an aspect to them. It could also be that they're intended for Jake, and she just doesn't know where he is. Either way, there are aspects of them that clearly relate to goals we already know she had in the pre-scratch universe with regard to Jane. They may have a dual purpose.

My idea doesn't really hinge on this being true, however, and at the bare minimum it has been suggested that the Condesce is trying to kill Jane.

[BitVyper]

I thought it was more obvious that the things that we think of him as being conglomerated from are more accurately extensions of himself via weird time shit. LE doesn't resemble Lil' Cal because Doc Scratch was paradoxed cloned from him, it's that Lil' Cal resembles LE because Cal was a manifestation created by LE from his influence over Gamzee. It's not as if there are different forms of LE determined by the universe in which he emerges. He is what he is. And he is already here.

I never suggested that his form was determined by the universe he emerges in, I'm saying his form was determined by this universe.

Also dude come on we already know that Jake and Jane's kids are John and Jade. The reason the Condesce was trying to keep them apart was because she probably wasn't all that well-briefed on ectobiology at the time.

I addressed this. There's multiple possibilities here.

[POS Industries]

I addressed this. There's multiple possibilities here.
Yes, but only one of them is probable.

And his form isn't determined by any universe. The things we're seeing in this timeline that allude to LE are a result of LE's influence over it.

[Arcanum]

Still not making sense. Re-read your post twice and it still seems like you're grasping at straws.

[Revising Ocelot]

The Condesce would very much like to kill Jane, her 'heir', because the last time she left a heir unchecked the Vast Glub occured.

[POS Industries]

The Condesce would very much like to kill Jane, her 'heir', because the last time she left a heir unchecked the Vast Glub occured.
Also, the Condesce apparently has something of a history of killing her heirs, as they're a threat to her reign. The only reason she wasn't able to make any attempts on Feferi was because Fef had taken an opportunity to gain an advantage.

Jane doesn't have that luxury.

[BitVyper]

Still not making sense. Re-read your post twice and it still seems like you're grasping at straws.

Obviously. If you reread my first post on the matter, you'll note I was asking a question that occurred to me. When I thought about it a little more, there were a lot of little ways in which it worked, so I got lot more into it as you can see in my second post.

It's not so much grasping at straws as throwing something at the wall to see what sticks. You don't have to agree that this is a worthy avenue of discussion, but please don't tell me to reread my own posts as if I haven't been paying attention to what I've said.

Edit: Wait, maybe you mean you re-read my post twice. Yeah that makes more sense. Okay, sorry for taking offense.

[Arcanum]

Edit: Wait, maybe you mean you re-read my post twice. Yeah that makes more sense. Okay, sorry for taking offense.

Yeah that's what I meant, sorry for the confusion, heh :sweatdrop

[Aldurin]

We shouldn't jump to conclusions until scratched FedoraFreak shows up.

[Locke cole]

New side-album!

Tomb of the Ancestors (http://homestuckgaiden.bandcamp.com/album/tomb-of-the-ancestors)

And it's free!

[POS Industries]

And it's free!
Still too high a cost for this album.

[BitVyper]

Some of it's alright. I don't want to talk about Spider8ite though.

Edit: I suppose kid-Mom will probably be the other girl Jaspers wound up with.

[Locke cole]

It's a pretty good album. I mainly like "Twowad2 the Heaven2", "Dishonorable highb100d", "0_0", "R3DGL4R3", and all but 3 seconds of "ETERNAL SUFFERING". You know what I'm talking about. Maybe I could edit the thing to turn that into a dramatic pause instead.

[Bard The 5th LW]

I think Homestuck Gaiden has been pretty good so far actually.

e: what the fuck was wit that voice clip in Eternal Suffering though, good lord why. It ruined an otherwise decent track. still gotta listen to the other ones though

e2: from what Ive heard, most of these were made before a lot of the ancestors were even revealed, which may explain some parts where they dont seem to quite mesh with the character.

e3: I liked WWretched WWaltz, and --Empirical wasn't terrible I guess, but I just couldnt get past the first ten seconds of Dishonorable HighB100d. 0_0 and R3DGL4R3 were decent too, but it really seems to me that most of these songs were written without endings, they just sorta stop. Uggh Spider8ite. Saw it coming when it said the "Choir". I think they sorta shot themselves in the foot there in the same way they did Endless Suffering, it was well enough without the vocal crap.

[IHateMakingNames]

From what I've seen with Homestuck songs, if there are any amount of vocals, the song will be bad.

[Locke cole]

That sounds suspiciously like an accusation that Warhammer of Zillyhoo is not the best thing ever.

[Dracorion]

Update.

... Isn't pulling weapons out of your strife specibus already instantaneous?

Well, I guess not if you have a lot of them and can't decide which one.

[POS Industries]

That sounds suspiciously like an accusation that Warhammer of Zillyhoo is not the best thing ever.
Or Black, for that matter.

[Locke cole]

One could be forgiven for not immediately thinking of Black when thinking of Homestuck songs with lyrics in them, distorted as the line is. I've seen someone mistake it for evil laughter.

But yeah. Black has lyrics of a sort, and it's awesome.

[POS Industries]

How do you mistake "Make her a member of the Midnight Crew" for laughter?

[Mr.Bookworm]

How do you mistake "Make her a member of the Midnight Crew" for laughter?

There's also the acapella version.

So, uh, I guess every (official) Homestuck song with vocals in it is actually pretty great?

[Locke cole]

How do you mistake "Make her a member of the Midnight Crew" for laughter?

Not the sample at the very beginning, but the use of the lines later on in the song.

But anyway.

[Aldurin]

Is that a Cal or LE face on his holster? Hard to tell.

Also Jake is now cooler now that I noticed his Stargate posters.

[Arcanum]

That's a regular skull and bones on the holster.

Also:

You'll show that curmudgeonly Strider who's just a gigantic shitty space furry.

Strider is clearly the Furry of Space

[Premmy]

That's a regular skull and bones on the holster.

Also:



Strider is clearly the Furry of Space

You're misreading that, think of it as
Strider: "'They're just giant shitty space furries"
Jake: I'll Show YOU who's a giant space furry
Strider... dude, what?

but, side note, strider might be a furry or something similar if we consider adult bro's puppet thing.

[Arcanum]

Shoosh you. You're clearly right but shoosh.

[Bard The 5th LW]

I am of the opinion that all of Mobeus Trip and Hadron Kaleido songs are excellent.

[BitVyper]

Hahahaha oh man, Gaia just straight up stole Hussie's shirt designs. The troll horns too. Hussie reblogged someone's post about it (http://mspandrew.tumblr.com/post/13002681636/lexxercise-for-whatever-good-it-will-do-i-have), so I expect to see this turn into a hilarious shitstorm between Homestuck fans and Gaia in the near future.

Not that Gaia isn't a site literally built out of ripping off other artists, but in this case the ripoffs are uh... not even really modified. It's just like, straight copy/pastes.

[Dracorion]

I'm thinking the huge thing Jake's keeping is either LE, LE's sarcophagus, the frog ruins, or the frog statue's head from the frog ruins.

[Mr.Bookworm]

I'm thinking the huge thing Jake's keeping is either LE, LE's sarcophagus, the frog ruins, or the frog statue's head from the frog ruins.

None of those but the frog ruins are really that big, and I think we saw the frog ruins still standing in the initial flash. Also, John and his dad managed to fit some pretty ridiculous shit (a car, the Tumor) into a normal captchalogue card, so I imagine whatever is taking up that much space has to be really fucking huge.

Maybe it's one of the planets Jade brought with her?

[BitVyper]

I doubt he'd be thinking of getting rid of it if it were a planet. Plus the planets are small right now, otherwise I wanna know the circumstances of his captchalogging it.

Anyway, I'm guessing between large vehicle and building sized.

[Kerensky287]

Fourth Wall.

Calling it now.

[Dracorion]

No wait I got it.

It's a nuke.

Or some kinda bigassed heavy artillery. Or the Beat Mesa.

[BitVyper]

Fourth Wall.

Calling it now.

If it is, it will have to be a pretty enormous one, since that card dwarfs the one he's keeping a minigun on. Not that it's impossible, mind; a big fourth wall would make sense for bringing through a battleship. However, it's not like Jade actually NEEDS to come through at 1:1 scale.

[Dracorion]

Except we saw Jade's battleship burst through the wall in the intermission and it was tiny. So yeah, she doesn't really need a big fourth wall.

[Locke cole]

I've got a feeling that the size of the wall on one end doesn't necessarially need to match with its size on the other end.

Like, I think she did expand the wall to an enormous size, but the "other side" of the wall remained the same size, and she stayed proportionate with it.

Granted, the end result is the same, but there you go.

[BitVyper]

Of course it doesn't. We've seen that they work like the windows in Problem Sleuth. They just scale whatever goes through them up or down.

Still, that doesn't mean John and Jade WON'T come through a huge one on this side. Kerensky's guess is pretty decent, and just based on relative card sizes, it looks like it could be about the right size to put the ship back up to 1:1 scale. It's just that Jade doesn't technically need it.

[Mr.Bookworm]

Somewhere out there, a fan howls in rage and Hussie smiles as it drifts over the breeze.

[BitVyper]

I'm gonna take this as confirmation that the one true main character of Homestuck is coming back. They better not match her up with Jake though. John/Vriska 4eva.

[rpgdemon]

Hahahaha oh man, Gaia just straight up stole Hussie's shirt designs. The troll horns too. Hussie reblogged someone's post about it (http://mspandrew.tumblr.com/post/13002681636/lexxercise-for-whatever-good-it-will-do-i-have), so I expect to see this turn into a hilarious shitstorm between Homestuck fans and Gaia in the near future.

Not that Gaia isn't a site literally built out of ripping off other artists, but in this case the ripoffs are uh... not even really modified. It's just like, straight copy/pastes.

I thought most people here don't believe in ownership of ideas/copyrights on IP? I'm curious what the thoughts are on this.

Not being all snark snark snark, this is a 4srs question.

[BitVyper]

Well, just 'cause people aren't in favour of the current legal structure surrounding copyright doesn't mean they think you should be able to copy/paste someone else's art as your own original material.

[POS Industries]

I thought most people here don't believe in ownership of ideas/copyrights on IP? I'm curious what the thoughts are on this.

Not being all snark snark snark, this is a 4srs question.
A company taking a creator's work without permission and selling it for their own profit without providing compensation or due credit =/= putting a 30 second clip of Spongebob on Youtube for no financial gain whatsoever.

Conversely, Andrew Hussie has no interest in requesting that the federal government shut Youtube down because someone posted [S] Make Her Pay on it, or rewriting copyright enforcement law to give only the largest corporations in the entertainment industry unprecedented power to basically shut down the internet as they see fit on an international level in a vain attempt to maximize their profits.

EDIT: Or if this isn't about SOPA/PROTECT IP and more related to something like fanfiction ROMhacks or whatever, then I would say that the difference maker here is that they are selling other people's IPs for actual real life money instead of it just being a thing someone does for no money whatsoever that has no financial impact on the IP holder in the slightest.

Basically, one is theft, one isn't.

[Revising Ocelot]

incredibly huge thing.

BLUH BLUH HUGE BITCH

[Kerensky287]

Re: the "Fourth Wall isn't that big" comment, I suspect that the puzzle modus organizes things not only based on size, but also on their importance. It is a very MSPA thing to do.

My other guess is that it's a battleship or something. Maybe a single giant Quill of Echidna.

[Locke cole]

If this was years and years ago, when the only way to get items in Gaia was to rack up Gold through using the forums and minigames, it wouldn't be too bad.

However, for a long time, it's been the case that people using that forum can spend real life cash money to get gold, so effectively they are selling Hussie's copyright for their own profit. And that's where I say it's wrong enough that something should be done.

I have rather specific sensibilities in regards to copyright and piracy and such, and this hits my buttons, so to speak.

edit: Oh wow, They could not be more blatant if they TRIED. (http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_luxa6dFT9Y1r124nx.jpg)

[Revising Ocelot]

Oh, if only you were the one who could have overcome his paralysis on an alien adventure planet to become her boyfriend, instead of that other guy. Then she could have shown you how to be bold and courageous, and stand up to fight for your people,

Oh wow, in the context of Spidergirl this was basically referencing Tavros/Vriska.

[Locke cole]

LOMAT is pretty much the definition of "adventure planet", to be sure.

[Bard The 5th LW]

Im already calling scratch!Mom/John up in here.

[Art of Hilt]

As you should, it's already canon (http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=003831) (considering that the titular daughter in that page is the baby Rose).

[POS Industries]

As you should, it's already canon (http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=003831) (considering that the titular daughter in that page is the baby Rose).
THAT CHEATING BASTARD. (http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=003500)

[Dracorion]

Okay I'm kind of dying to know how the hell Opie knows what he/she knows.

[BitVyper]

UU remains enigmatic. Given the ancestor talk, I'm gonna add "distant-descendent of one of the main, alpha-timeline characters" to the pile of possibilities.

I'm more inclined to think she is directly from Alternia though, 'cause I kinda get the feeling she lives/lived on the other moon. Possibly with pre-scratch Alternia's first guardian.

Okay I'm kind of dying to know how the hell Opie knows what he/she knows.

Her conversation with Jake might be from further along her personal timeline than her conversation with Jane was.

[rpgdemon]

So, Scratch = Cal should have been very obvious from the first haa haa hee hee hoo hoo.


CALSPRITE: HAA HAA HEE HEE HOO HOO

http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=003542

[Locke cole]

Uh, considering the first time Scratch ha ha hee hee hoo hoo'd was immediately after we learned that he was Cal... yeah, I suppose it should've been obvious at that point.

[rpgdemon]

Uh, considering the first time Scratch ha ha hee hee hoo hoo'd was immediately after we learned that he was Cal... yeah, I suppose it should've been obvious at that point.

Oh, really?

[stefan]

Oh, really?

it was a direct reference to Calsprite, in fact.

[Locke cole]

Yeah. Five pages after this (http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=005512), we get this (http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=005517).

And according to the lo-tech search, that's the first time ha ha hee hee hoo hoo shows up since Scratch's introduction.

[stefan]

god dammit jake stop dressing up like the omnipresent muderdemon.

[Bard The 5th LW]

Nice coat you got there Jake.

[Revising Ocelot]

Trolling both in-universe and on the actual reader. Well done, Hussie.

[Art of Hilt]

Bro is like a male Rose, if Rose was a ninja who made robots.
My heart. He's won it.

[Revising Ocelot]

Also, Cal is clearly half/full-robot.

[Locke cole]

Gotta say, this isn't what I expected when Jake first mentioned the auto-responder.

[rpgdemon]

I have to say, I don't get liking bro based on his responder. He seems like a huge douche.

[Aldurin]

Good shades, best computer.

[BitVyper]

TT: But since we've already shot that wad's eventuality on so many dry runs of flustered ambivalence that were as hilarious as they were one sided

Interesting.

It seems basically everyone wants Jake. I suppose this could also explain why Lalonde called Jane naive about Strider.

[Arcanum]

I genuinely don't know if auto-response-Strider is being serious or ironic with that statement.

Also: Robots... AI auto-responder... Cal... Oh dear gog. Cal is going to be ALIVE.

[BitVyper]

Well I mean, it's being ironic in a way, but I'm pretty sure the history is accurate. Add that to Lalonde's "naive" comment, and it makes a pretty good case for Strider being gay.