Homesuck: Vriska Rising

[Revising Ocelot]

Kanaya didn't simultaneously enrage Tumblr, though.

[Flarecobra]

EDIT: Tumblr was nowhere near as popular as it was now back when Kanaya did her awesomness.

[Locke cole]

The thing I find most hilarious about the Caucasian thing is that we still know literally nothing about Janey's default skin tone. She is so completely off her crocker that this could be her default skin tone (or just a shade or two way from it), and she'd still be gushing about it.

[stefan]

The thing I find most hilarious about the Caucasian thing is that we still know literally nothing about Janey's default skin tone. She is so completely off her crocker that this could be her default skin tone (or just a shade or two way from it), and she'd still be gushing about it.

Yeah considering that the last time tumblr flipped shit over homestuck this bad was because some of the merch depicted the kids as clearly nonwhite, I'm not going to really lose sleep over this shitstorm.

e: Deploy The Crocker is probably the most satisfying panel in the entire comic, even if it does involve kicking a brain damaged 16 year old in the nards

[Locke cole]

Teenagers don't need brain damage to act like idiots.

[Loyal]

Wait what are you guys talking abooooooo...

(reads #Homestuck tumblr entries)

...ooooohkaaaay...

Just gonna leave this one here.
spontaneously injuring people you profess to care about?
behaving completely & totally irrationally because of how you “feel”?
causing destruction and possible doom and totally not even believing the consequences will impact you?

idk seems pretty Caucasian to me

[Arcanum]

I was going to ask "are people seriously throwing a fit about this?"

But then I remembered we're talking about people on tumblr. People who probably think Kankri is the best character instead of a parody of those very same people.

e- Hahaha, looking through #homestuck on tumblr it's like people actually believe the shit Hussie says on his twitter/tumblr and how it relates to canon. Like how all fantrolls and all fanships are canon.

[Bard The 5th LW]

what is this

what is my life

[Loyal]

Calling it now: Trickster Mode basically turns Jake into Human Caliborn.

[Solid Snake]

...Are white people actually complaining that this means half (or more) of the human Homestuck characters aren't canonically Caucasian?
...This is going to be exquisite.

[Loyal]

I've only browsed three or four pages of #homestuck, but I can't see any of the complaints stemming from the possibility of the characters being not white. The whole "Trickster means exact opposite therefore Jane is nonwhite" bit seems to be from people who are either desperate to verify their person-of-color headcanons (from which there is truly a great deal of rage - you would not believe how invested Homestuck fans are in their respective headcanons), or people trying to mollify the former. Regardless, it's at best a fan theory since all we've seen Trickster mode do so far is make Jane colorful, powerful, and completely without inhibition.

The people most outraged about this mess are calling Hussie racist because they think that not only is Hussie using this update to declare a character to be White And Therefore Superior™, but that Hussie is rubbing the fandom's nose in it for daring to think differently. What they don't realize is that this is just Hussie picking up from Meenahbound in continuing to openly mock his Tumblr fandom for having exactly the reaction they had for Trickster Jane being white.

I gotta say, for a guy whose stated plan is to make a story that will make most sense to an archival reader (as opposed to a serial reader) he sure is doing a bunch of things that will only make sense to serial readers.

[Locke cole]

No. (well, yes, I'm sure) it's also people outraged over Jane being white in Trickster Mode. Something about "whitewashing".

[Solid Snake]

The people most outraged about this mess are calling Hussie racist because they think that not only is Hussie using this update to declare a character to be White And Therefore Superior™, but that Hussie is rubbing the fandom's nose in it for daring to think differently. What they don't realize is that this is just Hussie picking up from Meenahbound in continuing to openly mock his Tumblr fandom for having exactly the reaction they had for Trickster Jane being white.

That's strange because I had the exact opposite reaction. I thought Hussie making Trickster!Jane Caucasian, and more importantly Jake's exaggerated "NNNNOOOOOOOOO!" in response, was:

A: Confirmation that Jake and Jane, and by extension John and Jade, are canonically not-white.
B: Confirmation that at least Jake, and possibly the other kids generally, dislike whiteness enough to be upset at the possibility that they'd be turned Caucasian. Jake's reaction reinforces the notion that's it seen as a negative development? Or maybe I'm just reading too much into it.

So if anything I thought the progressives would be overjoyed at confirmation that at least half the human cast, and possibly more than half, are ethnic minorities, and perhaps more importantly, that Being Caucasian is displayed as a negative development -- who would really want to be Jane right now, with all her emotional instability, a lack of social filter, and merely acting as a probable pawn?
And if anything I thought the bigoted Caucasians would be upset that Delirious Jane was portrayed as Caucasian, and that they'd lose their headcanon of Normal Jane being Caucasian herself.

[Arcanum]

It's funny because people are acting like Jane's appearance is a huge shocker (http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=002153) and they are also surprised that Hussie is doing a shoutout to whatever shit the fandom is currently obsessing/arguing about.

e-

A: Confirmation that Jake and Jane, and by extension John and Jade, are canonically not-white.
B: Confirmation that at least Jake, and possibly the other kids generally, dislike whiteness enough to be upset at the possibility that they'd be turned Caucasian. Jake's reaction reinforces the notion that's it seen as a negative development? Or maybe I'm just reading too much into it.

Sounds like you're reading wayyyyyy too much into it.

[Solid Snake]

Sounds like you're reading wayyyyyy too much into it.

I usually do. I'm just surprised that this time my initial read led me to give Hussie the benefit of the doubt, because usually with me it's the exact opposite (see: 'Killing off' Kanaya, anything with Vriska, etc.)

[stefan]

tbh the only human character I never really thought of as being white is Jade, who for some reason I always interpreted as asian.

Yes, I know this makes no sense, shut up.

[Solid Snake]

tbh the only human character I never really thought of as being white is Jade, who for some reason I always interpreted as asian.

That's probably because, in the absence of any other indication as to a character's race or ethnicity, it's common for western cultures to just assume Caucasian as 'default mode.'
Which is why I actually really appreciated Hussie stripping away that assumption with Jake's reaction to Jane's declaration of Newfound Caucasianness.

[Loyal]

A: Confirmation that Jake and Jane, and by extension John and Jade, are canonically not-white.
B: Confirmation that at least Jake, and possibly the other kids generally, dislike whiteness enough to be upset at the possibility that they'd be turned Caucasian. Jake's reaction reinforces the notion that's it seen as a negative development? Or maybe I'm just reading too much into it. Considering Hussie has gone to great lengths in the past to say the kids have no ethnicity and gone out of his way to not bring up race in the comic (including erasing Dave's mention of "white kids" in favor of something unintelligible), it'd be pretty ridiculous if he suddenly turned around and declared a character white, and even more ridiculous if, implicitly or explicitly, it were for no other purpose than saying being white is a bad thing. So yes, you are absolutely reading too much into it.

Just remember that Hussie hates his tumblr fandom, and remember what tumblr in general is like, and everything falls into place.

[Solid Snake]

Just remember that Hussie hates his tumblr fandom, and remember what tumblr in general is like, and everything falls into place.

Fair enough. I've avoided Tumblr like a plague, so it's easy for me to attach myself to alternate reasoning that has nothing to do with Tumblr.

[POS Industries]

all characters in trickster mode are Canonically Caucasian
It's just a joke about how the trickster mode sprites actually have a clearly defined skin tone.

[Revising Ocelot]

I also never go on Tumblr, I just like seeing the fallout spill onto other forums.

You'd think that http://i.imgur.com/6y83t.gif would have given enough hints that Hussie is taking a huge swipe at Tumblr, but apparently not even the Hussie booth at the end of Meenahbound, where he explained very carefully what each troll was meant to be referencing, gave enough people the hint. So now there's this.

[Locke cole]

In addition, Jane is currently so far off her crocker, and Jake is so scared out of his skull that I could totally imagine this conversation going exactly the same, whatever Janey's natural skin tone.

And that's if I thought, even for a second, that that line would have even existed if people hadn't gone nuts about her skin tone when [S] Jane: Engage happened.

[Ryong]

That's probably because, in the absence of any other indication as to a character's race or ethnicity, it's common for western cultures to just assume Caucasian as 'default mode.'

With no given indication, it's common for a character to be assumed as being of the ethnicity/race of either the same as the majority race of where the author lives in or of the area the reader lives in. I.e., you think a given character in anime is caucasian until an actual caucasian shows up.

I'd hardly say it's a western culture thing.

Also, man, I liked the "white kids" thing as a joke because THEY'RE WHITE. LITERALLY.

[Locke cole]

Yeah. Jane used to be white.

Now she's caucasian.

[Aldurin]

Truly this is the beginning of the end.

[POS Industries]

So yeah basically since everyone but Roxy is too stupid to pick up their phones and go die, god tiers are being replaced by trickster modes for the time being.

[Loyal]

So the English Skull is replaced with Lil Cal. Of course.

[Dracorion]

And then ugly Trickster sex.

[Locke cole]

...shit.

Shit. It's contagious.

And if Janey's lifesplosion on LOCAH means anything, this means Jake's got Hope powers filtered through the insanity of Trickster Mode.

This is not good for anyone.

[Arcanum]

Guys, there's no bridge between Jake's eyes. He's not wearing glasses. His eyes are rectangular.

[POS Industries]

Guys, there's no bridge between Jake's eyes. He's not wearing glasses. His eyes are rectangular.
http://i.imgur.com/abIsu.gif

[Revising Ocelot]

Well, guess Jake's going to fly over to LOWHATEVER for sloppy makeouts with Dirk, who will catch Trickster Cooties.

Roxy might be safe from the love plague since everyone's ignoring her anyway, and invisible. Maybe the Condesce's folder contains a means to un-Tricksterfy people via Blingee.


Side note, took entirely too long for someone to make these http://i.imgur.com/STMXu.gif http://i.imgur.com/3K8nZ.gif.

[Flarecobra]

....

This made my mind hurt.

[Locke cole]

Hussie dialed back the "CAUCASIAN" joke (http://www.mspaintadventures.com/trickster.php?s=6&p=007623) and explained his reasoning for it (http://mspandrew.tumblr.com/post/40461873904/more-so-i-just-dialed-down-the-joke-on-page).

Being a guy who normally thinks of Hussie as having an almost Clevinger-ish relationship with his fans, it's nice to see him acknowledge when something's gotten out of hand.

[Marelo]

Hussie also took some time to further explain his reasoning, using examples. (http://mspandrew.tumblr.com/post/40486423180/lets-take-a-look-at-a-few-responses-more)

And if you truly dislike censorship, and do not wish to see more self-censorship in the future, then you would be doing your part to behave in a way that doesn’t make creators feel embarrassed to be defended by you.

He did real good this time around, I reckon.

[Locke cole]

Tumblr's still erupting over even that, but what can ya do?

[POS Industries]

Tumblr's still erupting over even that, but what can ya do?
Well, the thing with tumblr is that it's filled with horrible people who hold every opinion under the sun whether you agree with them or not, so it doesn't really matter what you do, somebody going's to be mad over it.

Also the replacement joke is actually way funnier and more in context with the scene so I'm glad he changed it.

[Revising Ocelot]

So, either they have a Sugar Omniscience Rush and know that Roxy is there, or they're going to kick the Condesce in the vulnerables and may/may not find Roxy as well. I'm holding out that the irony of the only character to have an in-universe Trickster Mode drawing doesn't actually get Tricked.

Dirk escapes the total party kill, because anything worse happening to him - other than the massive stress of worrying about being overbearing - is forbidden. Alas, orange soda is not to be.

[Amake]

So I was just catching up with the comic and maybe I'm not in possession of the same knowledge tumblr had when they were raging a couple of days ago but it seems ridiculous even for tumblr. As far as I know, "trickster mode" is a temporary* powerup that gives you peach-colored skin and amazinghilarious powers, and Jake freaks out upon seeing this is a joke based on the normal skin color of the humans being blank and, that's it?

It looks like the joke used to be she felt "Caucasian" instead of "peachy" which I guess would be insensitive if one read any real world skin colors into the blank skinned characters. Peachy is funnier IMO so good job tumblr.

*I assume based on Andrew's tumblr posts. Though how great would it be if he lied, and it spreads like a plague until Lord English faces an army of trickster gods?

[Arcanum]

Roxy, whatever you do, don't stop using those voidy powers.

[Flarecobra]

For all that is good and holy, stay hidden there Roxy.

[Aldurin]

And once they get her then they'll drag Dirk into the orgy . . .

edit: more pages and it gets even better

[Arhra]

Jake how is it you still keep saying the worst thing you could possibly say?

The Condesce is amazing as always.

[Solid Snake]

)(IC: gurl u made your cocoon
)(IC: DWI

...Why are you so amazing, batterwitch
Why couldn't Feferi have inherited any of your best traits

[Locke cole]

Fef ws tken from us too soon.

I mean, Meenah's already had more screentime and characterization.

[Dracorion]

I like how the Condesce is apparently the only one immune to Roxy's invisible pestering curse and she doesn't give a shit.

[Karrrrrrrrrrrresche]

That probably just confirms that Roxy's friends are kinda shitty.

[mauve]

Requesting thread title change to "gurl u made your cocoon. DWI."

[Solid Snake]

That probably just confirms that Roxy's friends are kinda shitty.

Jake is really shitty, yeah.
Dirk was just overpowered as fuck (until he entered the session and proceeded to do absolutely nothing.) Feels like this session's Jade insofar as he 'knew everything' and had all kinds of advanced knowledge until it was stripped away from him and he became all kinds of depressed.
And Jane's just kind of inoffensively dull. It's hard to like or dislike her. She's basically John Egbert if you took out most of John's more redeeming qualities.

Jake's the only one who strikes me as really shitty.
I wanted to like him for a few brief moments after his introduction but, boy, did he go downhill really fast. It's reaching a point where he's only a few stupid lines away from challenging Vriska's spot as my second least favorite character.

(Eridan is, of course, my least favorite character.)
(Also I'm not counting the new Alpha trolls or someone like Cronus would probably be down there.)

Anyway, I'm already really bored with Trickster Mode and kind of want it to end. It seemed appropriate when it was just Jane who was affected and I thought it was just a quick plot twist to ensure actual plot development because Jane just really needed to tell Jake about her crush so she could realize what a jackass he is and finally move on.

But now it looks like it's going to be one of those things that will take a hundred pages to play out even though it's just watching the characters act bizarre and has little actual value in the scheme of things. Like, once this condition is 'cured,' absolutely nothing will come out of it. Wouldn't be shocked if Jake even conveniently forgot Jane's 'confession' under some nebulous idea where, upon losing Trickster Mode, you forget everything that happened during Trickster Mode. And even if they don't lose their memories, all the embarrassing things Jake's saying now will provide Jane a cover to just pretend her 'confession' wasn't representative of her 'true feelings.'

It's moments like these where I wish I could give up checking Homestuck daily and become an archival reader, because I'd probably be far less annoyed with the slow rate of storyline progression if I just read a great deal of updates at once.

[Revising Ocelot]

But now it looks like it's going to be one of those things that will take a hundred pages to play out even though it's just watching the characters act bizarre and has little actual value in the scheme of things. Like, once this condition is 'cured,' absolutely nothing will come out of it.

Since when was plot relevance important? These pages are, in my subjective and often worthless opinion, extremely funny. Homestuck is Kids and Fun, according to the topic title.

Also Cal being a Trickster Cherub is totally plot relevant anyway. I also note the recurring Rainbow Road motif being very similar to the general seizure-inducing multi-coloured flashiness of most Lord English stuff.

[Locke cole]

...do you think Caliborn was able to see Jane input the code for Calliope's juju?

[Revising Ocelot]

On the topic of worthless opinions, I'm also taking bets on CD getting hit by the sucker and turning into... a Felt member.

[Odjn]

...do you think Caliborn was able to see Jane input the code for Calliope's juju?

Doesn't work that way. Only one of each juju, and it has requirements on how it can be obtained. Caliborn gave his up because he found Lil Cal.

[Locke cole]

Yes. The thing was that when Jake input the code into the alchemiter and made the Juju, the Juju would disappear from Caliborn's location.

So, if Caliborn has seen the code, he could take the jujus back from Jane, if he so desired.

[Loyal]

Considering it's been turned into the Trickster Sucker, I'm not sure it really counts as the same thing anymore, insofar as his ability to grant or take it is concerned.

[stefan]

Also Cal being a Trickster Cherub is totally plot relevant anyway. I also note the recurring Rainbow Road motif being very similar to the general seizure-inducing multi-coloured flashiness of most Lord English stuff.

We've already seen where the Trickster Rainbow Road leads. (http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=004748)

[Token]

Yes. The thing was that when Jake input the code into the alchemiter and made the Juju, the Juju would disappear from Caliborn's location.

So, if Caliborn has seen the code, he could take the jujus back from Jane, if he so desired.

No.

uu: THEY ALWAYS HAVE RULES. AND THEY ALWAYS HAVE OWNERS.
uu: YOU CAN TAKE SOMEONE'S JUJU. IF THE OWNER WAS KILLED.
uu: OR IF HE GIVES IT TO YOU FREELY. LIKE I'M DOING.
uu: SO I WILL GIVE YOU THE CODE TO MAKE IT YOURSELF.
uu: ONCE YOU DO. IT SHOULD DISAPPEAR FROM MY CHEST. AND IT WILL NO LONGER BE MINE.

[Aldurin]

Whelp, Trickster mode is confirmed to be more powerful than God Tier.

[Locke cole]

I don't think they're immortal, though.

[Loyal]

Roxy's not god tier, but yeah Trickster's probably more powerful simply because there's little narrative reason to introduce it otherwise. It's obvious Trickster's aren't "Friendly" in the sense we'd be comfortable with, which means they're probably acting as a suitable opponent to the original, God-Tier kids incoming.

The question then becomes: Do the Tricksters die, or get cured? Do they run into John and Co., or Lord English?

[Revising Ocelot]

Dirk was just overpowered as fuck (until he entered the session and proceeded to do absolutely nothing.) Feels like this session's Jade insofar as he 'knew everything' and had all kinds of advanced knowledge until it was stripped away from him and he became all kinds of depressed.

Nah, now he gets to fix everything once again.

[Locke cole]

NNNNNNOOOOOOOO!

I say we have an even chance of this completely overrunning the session until the meteor and battleship enter the session.

[Flarecobra]

....

Fuck.

[Aldurin]

Yep, Trickster mode overrides void powers and is the first thing we've seen in ANY mspa medium to wield the "what pumpkin" power. Totally better than god tier.

[Locke cole]

Problem Sleuth totally wielded pumpkin power.

[Flarecobra]

Yep, the Pumpkin Schemia I beleve.

Here it is. (http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=4&p=001299)

[Revising Ocelot]

Problem Sleuth totally wielded pumpkin power.

No, What Pumpkin.

Roxy will come out covered in hoodies.

[POS Industries]

Yep, Trickster mode overrides void powers and is the first thing we've seen in ANY mspa medium to wield the "what pumpkin" power. Totally better than god tier.
This actually brings up an interesting point about trickster mode and the nature of the narrative. Trickster mode is essentially a breaking of the fourth wall, which is itself an established thing that exists in the story canon. That's probably how they were able to detect Roxy, because the reader is able to see her, and in this line of thinking they would be aware of what the reader can see, so they found her.

At least that's one possibility of how this works, anyway.

[Locke cole]

And now, a moment of silence for the best character.

[Flarecobra]

....
...
..
.

*Flips table*

[POS Industries]

Calling it now, Dad's about to bust out of jail and set those kids straight.

[Arcanum]

If by "kids" you mean "Courtyard Droll" for not only wearing such a disgraceful hat in public but also letting it fall to the ground and become even more rumpled, then yes.

[POS Industries]

Pretty sure it was obvious that I did.

[Flarecobra]

Please, lay down some fatherly whoopass.

[stefan]

Roxy no. Roxy you cease this relapse right now.

If Dirk somehow escapes this fate then I will be legitimately upset

[Aldurin]

At least there's justice for the crime of Eridan's existence.

The only thing I fear is if ARquioussprite falls victim to this somehow . . .

[Locke cole]

This is wrong.
This is wrong.
This is wrong.
Oh hey, the text is a solid .gif now instead of being individual lines of text. Dang, that makes it harder to read Erisol's text.
This is wrong.

[Revising Ocelot]

And that pretty much blows my last lingering shred of hope for orange soda.

Now I'm going to drink a Fanta IRL. I shouldn't really. It's pseudo-cannibalism. But it feels so good


EDIT: Ah, only lasted one page. Good.

I'll still keep drinking Fanta though. It might make my hair even more ridiculously orange.

[Aldurin]

I feel like a Trickster remix of the Jaws theme would be appropriate here.

[Flarecobra]

Dirk has the only approprate expression.

[Loyal]

Since Dirk is the Prince of Heart, I'd like to believe he's the only one who could muster a resistance against this. It probably won't last long, but still.

[Locke cole]

I dunno. Soul Power might not really work here.

...

50:50 that the Juju doesn't alter Dirk, but instead splinters off yet another copy of Dirk, who is Tricksterfied.

[Aldurin]

50:50 that the Juju doesn't alter Dirk, but instead splinters off yet another copy of Dirk, who is Tricksterfied.

That would be the best result.

[Solid Snake]

It suddenly occurs to me that the one possible storyline outcome here that'd be even worse than Trickster Mode continuing to be a thing would be Dirk using his Dirk Is Bestest Overpowered Character Powers to somehow snap the other kids out of Trickster Mode, thereby reestablishing his supremacy

[Loyal]

Squarewave and Sawtooth are here, this should be excellent.

This is a fantastic opportunity for a hashrap beatdown and I will be sorely disappointed if we see nothing of the sort.

[Locke cole]

I'd say we have 3 possibilities.

1: Dirk snaps everyone out of it (not very likely at all, considering he doesn't have the Juju Breaker)

2: Dirk splinters off another version of himself that's tricksterfied.

3: Dirk is turned, and it will be down to the kids and trolls arriving on the meteor and battleship to sort this out.

[Aldurin]

3: Dirk is turned, and it will be down to the kids and trolls arriving on the meteor and battleship to sort this out.

5000 pages later we see Trickster Fedora Freak infect Caliborn.

[stefan]

Dirk somehow untricksterizing the alpha kids would quite possibly be the first and only thing in homestuck that I would legitimately take issue with from a storytelling perspective, because once you take away his toys Dirk is easily one of the dullest fucking characters in the comic and he narratively does not deserve the position of undoing all of these shenanigans.

[rpgdemon]

I HATE Trickster Mode, so I really just want it gone.

Like, it just feels awkward and crappy to me.

[Locke cole]

Creepy awkward?

[Dracorion]

For the life of me, I can't stop getting the image that Dirk's tattoo is actually on his armpit.

[Inbred Chocobo]

Am I the only person that finds Trickster mode hilarious? Man I must be weird or something.

[POS Industries]

Am I the only person that finds Trickster mode hilarious? Man I must be weird or something.
Yeah I think it's great.

Call the cops, I don't give a fuck.

[Amake]

I heart it. Or should I say
http://imageshack.us/a/img72/7238/mariostargq9.jpg
STAR it?

Yeah it seems to be a lot like that, except they got rid of Mario's one remaining vulnerability. Could be frightening, if it lasts long enough for the kids to really figure it out. But for the immediate future, I think the implications range from "harmless" to "army of trickster gods taking down Lord English without breaking a sweat". Which seems both unsatisfying and unlikely, but I bet it would at least be funny.

[Revising Ocelot]

It suddenly occurs to me that the one possible storyline outcome here that'd be even worse than Trickster Mode continuing to be a thing would be Dirk using his Dirk Is Bestest Overpowered Character Powers to somehow snap the other kids out of Trickster Mode, thereby reestablishing his supremacy

http://i.imgur.com/9PYLZUQ.png

Oh, and I disliked Dirk before it became cool.

[Solid Snake]

http://i.imgur.com/9PYLZUQ.png


...For a split second there I thought those were reposts of actual MSPA updates I missed and I was about to start screaming obscenities

[Locke cole]

Welp.

Game Over.

[Loyal]

I liked Dirk mainly because he's the only one who got anything done in the Alpha universe (not counting the Condesce who of course as a non-native is exempt).

Of course that's no longer the case and he can join the others in being shit-useless till the Battleship and Meteor arrive to sort out everything.

I'm mostly annoyed that he went willingly.

[Locke cole]

Man, Dirk just can't win.

He fixes a situation: Might as well start calling him Gary.
He succumbs: now everyone's useless.

[Loyal]

To be fair, most people are at best ambivalent toward all the Alpha kids for one reason or another except the shippers and the fanartists.

[Locke cole]

My personal opinions are:
Roxy: The best
Jane: Doesn't deserve the truly crappy day she was having before he Juju
Jake: Needs to open his freaking eyes
Dirk: I was really interested by his conversation with AR. He's far more interesting when it's clear how troubled he is.

That being said, I would have liked for him to at least try to stab one of them.

Not, like, all the way; not a total impalement.

Just the tip, you know?

Just to see what it feels like.

[Aldurin]

Tis' truly the end of an era now . . .

[Revising Ocelot]

Well, that was unexpected.

I guess it's up to Jade to fix everything instead! Not that I actually dislike her (she spent an act being useless and then after half a flash of FIX EVERYTHING she mostly made silly faces at John) as with Dirk. Plus Dirk showing he's legitimately vulnerable to peer pressure. I couldn't really take his earlier dialogue with AR seriously.

[Flarecobra]

..Goddamnit.

[Revising Ocelot]

And the next update was utterly expected.

[Solid Snake]

Oh my God
Did I just
Did I just press that arrow key 1,111 times
FOR NO FUCKING REASON?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!!!!!!!!!

[Revising Ocelot]

Oh my God
Did I just
Did I just press that arrow key 1,111 times
FOR NO FUCKING REASON?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!!!!!!!!!

Dude did you tap your way through Super Mario Bros

http://i.imgur.com/Sk9LDUv.gif

[Solid Snake]

Dude did you tap your way through Super Mario Bros

And oh no
This is the worst possible update
Not only did I nearly break that key on my keyboard
But Dirk resisted the Trickster Mode due to his inherent superiority
And now he gets to smugly lecture everyone else
(Although Jake does kind of deserve it)

...Damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn DAMN

[Solid Snake]

(tries the S: update again)
(holds down the key instead of mashing it)

...

...

......

..................................................

.................................................. ...........


...fuck my life

[Loyal]

You mean you didn't just

I mean that's

Get this man a drink, folks.

Also

Since Dirk is the Prince of Heart, I'd like to believe he's the only one who could muster a resistance against this. It probably won't last long, but still. I'm going to pretend this means I called it.

[Solid Snake]

I didn't think this update could get any worse.
It just did.

[Loyal]

I just realized that Fefeta sploded without having said a single actual line, and realized it must be because even Hussie couldn't be bothered to try combining those two already atrocious typing quirks.

[Revising Ocelot]

I didn't think this update could get any worse.
It just did.

Yeah, I just caught the Everybrony reference.

[Flarecobra]

I dunno. That Gamzee expression at the end is pretty funny.

Though for all we know, Dirk will remain looking like he's in Trickster mode, but has the same attitude he always does.

[Arcanum]

Snake, a part of me wants to laugh at your suffering, but the other part of me just feels terrible that you didn't think of holding down the arrow key.

Also this update is fantastic in every way.

Also also, while it's pretty darn obvious when it's Equius or AR talking, I honestly have no clue when it's Eridan or Sollux talking, making his defense of Feferi a confusing but hilarious combination of matesprit chivalry and Eridan creepiness.

edit-


Get this man a drink, folks.

Seconding this.

[Locke cole]

So, Dirk is so miserable that even insanity magic can't make him happy.

[Aldurin]

So, Dirk is so miserable that even insanity magic can't make him happy.

And by consequence causes a massive c-c-c-combo breaker on the Trickster Train, which then derails everything by destroying Fefeta, tormenting Arquious and being dangerously close to portraying Erisol as a good character.

[Art of Hilt]

If Trickster Mode makes all your dreams come true, then that means nothing happened with Dirk because he had no wishes.

He is that depressed.

I've known people who were like Dirk, though. Incapable of enjoying a harmless drug because they're too busy overanalyzing and picking apart every sensation. Being high does nothing to them because their mind is too busy to let it.

Also Equius is a precious sweetheart look how guilty he was oh my poor deer sweet perfect baby Equius

[Locke cole]

And AR is so completely weirded out by Equius. And Gamzee.

[POS Industries]

dangerously close to portraying Erisol as a good character.
I actually rather like the idea that Sollux's conscience has caused the Eridan side to experience genuine remorse for his actions. It's an interesting development, if completely unnecessary from a narrative development standpoint.

[Token]

This is the best non-condesce update in quite a while
good to know dirk is still fantastic and equius is still the worst

[Locke cole]

This has to be a fandom-directed joke.

I mean, putting both Nepeta and Feferi, two characters who didn't get as much screentime as they probably should've (Feferi had, what, three conversations? Two with Eridan?) into the same sprite, and then blowing up the sprite, who literally didn't say a single word in its entire time on-screen.

[Revising Ocelot]

hopy shit a book (http://www.mspaintadventures.com/sweetbroandhellajeff/)

but the update sunce last summer???? never hapen

[Aldurin]

That is actually a tempting buy.

[stefan]

hopy shit a book (http://www.mspaintadventures.com/sweetbroandhellajeff/)

but the update sunce last summer???? never hapen

half tempted to get it just for the pull-out centerfold that has nothing on it except "CENTAURFOLD" in huge letters


Also amusement at The person who finally calls Jake out for being a douche also being the single person in his entire circle of friends with even less ground to stand on and no real grounds to be mad anyway.

[Solid Snake]

Also amusement at The person who finally calls Jake out for being a douche also being the single person in his entire circle of friends with even less ground to stand on and no real grounds to be mad anyway.

Jake was totally a douche to Dirk, though, far more so than he was a douche to Roxy.
Jane definitely should've had first dibs, however.

[stefan]

Jake was totally a douche to Dirk, though, far more so than he was a douche to Roxy.
Jane definitely should've had first dibs, however.

Thing is though that even if Jake was a douche to Dirk, Dirk kind of deserved it on account of sending a violent molestabot to Jake's island to beat the shit out of him/turn him gay. Seriously, that entire plot arc was creepy as fuck.

There's also, again, the whole implication that Jake sustained brain damage from that fall he took (possibility was called out explicitly when he fell, one of his first lines after the time skip was mentioning that his mind "isn't the steel trap it used to be," Dirk mentioning that Jake has forgot his gasmask on Poison Death Planet at least once, and how Caliborn explicitly compared Jake to himself when Caliborn appears to have some sort of severe learning disability on top of having literally killed off half his brain) which just makes Dirk come off as even more of a skeevy ass who may or may not have been taking advantage of someone not able to effectively refuse.

Basically what I'm saying is that whatever Jake may have done Dirk is still easily the worst of the alpha kids even before you consider that he's basically Dave without any of what made Dave endearing and a pile of Rose's early act standoffishness on top.

[Solid Snake]

...I feel like you and I have been reading different Homestucks.
(That is particularly strange in light of the fact that I'm also not a huge fan of Dirk, albeit for completely different reasons.)

[Locke cole]

The Brobot was sent to Jake in parts, and was the result of a join plan between Dirk and Jake to build a robot that Jake could spar with.

The Novice setting is all on Dirk, to be quite sure, but the robot's violence was entirely planned between the two, and Jake's the one who assembled and activated it, knowing its purpose.

As to Poison Death Planet, Krypon doesn't do lasing brain damage. Not directly. The dangers are from falling asleep and then asphyxiating.

[stefan]

...I feel like you and I have been reading different Homestucks.
(That is particularly strange in light of the fact that I'm also not a huge fan of Dirk, albeit for completely different reasons.)

If you're talking about the brain damage stuff, it's all there in the text and I'm far from being the first person to notice it, I didn't even pick up on it at all until someone on the SA homestuck thread pointed it all out.

The stuff about Dirk and Dave, though, that's kind of obvious. Its easy to forget, but even though all of Dave's early logs painted him as the cool guy in cool control, once he actually got a name and was fully introduced he basically spent the next hundred pages getting his ass kicked, being pranked constantly, and generally getting taken down a peg every three pages, which was a huge help to get people to like him by basically showing that behind the facade he was pretty much just as much of a goofy dork as the other kids in his own way. Dirk on the other hand has basically had everything go right for him since the beginning and OH LOOK when his relationship falls apart he blames it on the other guy.

The Brobot was sent to Jake in parts, and was the result of a join plan between Dirk and Jake to build a robot that Jake could spar with.

The Novice setting is all on Dirk, to be quite sure, but the robot's violence was entirely planned between the two, and Jake's the one who assembled and activated it, knowing its purpose.

The main problem is that I sincerely doubt that Dirk let Jake know that the brobot's only settings were "robot sex" and "BONESAW IS READYYYYYYYY" with apparently no inbetween or way for Jake to change the settings.

As to Poison Death Planet, Krypon doesn't do lasing brain damage. Not directly. The dangers are from falling asleep and then asphyxiating.

What people are getting at with that one is that remembering your gas mask would be a really fucking important thing and, with the other evidence, it's a highly suspicious comment to make considering Hussie's tendency to make even the smallest comments hugely important in later context.

[Solid Snake]

Articulating Dirk's plan with the robot as a plan to turn Jake gay just doesn't make any sense to me. Feels vaguely homophobic. Even conceding that Dirk is manipulative and conniving and arrogant and selfish, he couldn't force a new sexual identity upon Jake. The fact that Jake ultimately agreed to a relationship with Dirk, even one that was simply temporary, suggests that Jake was bisexual, or at least bicurious, from the beginning. Dirk has his issues, but I don't perceive him as someone who'd take pleasure in coercing Jake into a relationship against his will, and many of the photos of Jake and Dirk in 'happier times' immediately after the session began seem to support that their affection was at one point consensual, and that Jake only gradually lost interest as Dirk became increasingly clingy.

I also don't perceive Jake as being mentally disabled; he's just a straight-up insensitive douche, and he's been insensitive and douchey around all three of his friends, including Dirk. If anything it's likely a byproduct of his Jade-style alone-on-an-island secluded upbringing, and a Yosuke-like identification of himself as the 'hero' of his own 'adventure,' in which through the narrow gaze of a protagonist of his chosen narrative he can readily dismiss the feelings of others.

[Locke cole]

the reference to his mind not being the steel trap it once was is just, you know, general "man, I feel like such an ass for forgetting" rhetoric.

[stefan]

Articulating Dirk's plan with the robot as a plan to turn Jake gay just doesn't make any sense to me. Feels vaguely homophobic. Even conceding that Dirk is manipulative and conniving and arrogant and selfish, he couldn't force a new sexual identity upon Jake.

Dirk is a 16 year old. This is basically the exact kind of insane logic a 16 year old would cook up. Surely you've heard of the Nice Guy problem, which among several other problems carries the idea of "making" someone love you with extended coercive behavior? This is basically a similar thought process.

Also I'm fairly certain there's a convo between Dirk and AR where he flat-up admits that Novice Mode was explicitly for the purpose of making Jake think of him as more than a friend.

The fact that Jake ultimately agreed to a relationship with Dirk, even one that was simply temporary, suggests that Jake was bisexual, or at least bicurious, from the beginning.

Which is probably true but also independent of the whole brobot clusterfuck.

Dirk has his issues, but I don't perceive him as someone who'd take pleasure in coercing Jake into a relationship against his will, and many of the photos of Jake and Dirk in 'happier times' immediately after the session began seem to support that their affection was at one point consensual, and that Jake only gradually lost interest as Dirk became increasingly clingy.

Thing is though that literally everything about Dirk and Jake's relationship is rooted in coercion on at least some level. He forced the whole uncomfortableness of the Brobot on him and then there was the whole "kiss my severed head or literally all of your friends are going to die" situation that he probably could have handled better. It would still be creepy as fuck no matter what the genders involved were.

E: Also remember that when Jake brought up that the brobot was making him very uncomfortable, Dirk's reaction basically was "Okay then, instead of tenderness I'm going to make it beat the everliving fuck out of you." This is an actual thing that happened.

the reference to his mind not being the steel trap it once was is just, you know, general "man, I feel like such an ass for forgetting" rhetoric.

I would think that if it wasn't for the other evidence plus the fact that Jake's douchiest behaviors are post-time-skip, after the potential incident that may have fucked his head up.

[Solid Snake]

Also I'm fairly certain there's a convo between Dirk and AR where he flat-up admits that Novice Mode was explicitly for the purpose of making Jake think of him as more than a friend.

I was also fairly certain that there were conversations back there where Dirk conceded that it was possible, even probable, that he'd be rejected by Jake once he revealed his crush, and that fear had motivated a lot of his behavior. I just always viewed Dirk's struggles there as less about trying to coerce Jake -- and play into unrealistic homophobic fears in such an inappropriate way -- and more about Dirk confronting his own vulnerabilities and having to eventually 'fess up.

Yeah, by virtue of Dirk being manipulative and overthinking things, there were elements where Dirk might try to increase his 'odds' by setting up the perfect moment for the reveal, but I still think at the end of the day, if Dirk proposes a relationship and Jake says no, Dirk respects that decision and doesn't force the issue.

Dirk comes from a future wherein heterosexuality as a social 'default' is an antiquated concept. That might also play into things. I dunno, I just dislike a summation that vilifies Dirk for 'making Jake gay,' as it assumes a 'default' heterosexual identity for Jake that privileged readers often assume, and it buys into hella-bad stereotypical fears, and I think there's moral principles even Dirk adheres to, despite his various teenage insecurities and flaws and shortcomings.

Thing is though that literally everything about Dirk and Jake's relationship is rooted in coercion on at least some level. He forced the whole uncomfortableness of the Brobot on him and then there was the whole "kiss my severed head or literally all of your friends are going to die" situation that he probably could have handled better. It would still be creepy as fuck no matter what the genders involved were.

First: Kissing a severed head is supposed to be romantic?
Second: A lot of people in Homestuck have kissed other people's corpses. Karkat kissed Kanaya's corpse. John kissed Rose's corpse, I think? I don't perceive kissing Dirk's dismembered head as anything akin to a romantic gesture, as represented by the fact that everyone, Jake included, were all kind of collectively grossed out by it, and the whole joke at the end was that everyone watched Jake do it.

At most you might say that Dirk, being the mastermind of the plan to bail 'em all out, preferred that his crush be the one to kiss him. And that's probably true, but that still doesn't explain that incident as a sole impetus for their relationship.

[Locke cole]

E: Also remember that when Jake brought up that the brobot was making him very uncomfortable, Dirk's reaction basically was "Okay then, instead of tenderness I'm going to make it beat the everliving fuck out of you." This is an actual thing that happened.

That was AR.

[stefan]

Yeah snake I think you might be focusing entirely too much on an offhand descriptor here, try and forget any genderpolitics and sexual identity issues for a minute and just consider the bare facts, that:

- one character has set up a situation that is, basically, sexual assault by proxy targeting another character

- this is enforced by extreme violence if the second character expresses dislike or tries to avoid this situation

- At a later date after a relationship has been going on, The first character has been expressing extreme obsessive behavior towards the second

- when the second character tries to get some space in this situation and consider ending it, the first reacts with extreme hostility.

Dirk is pretty clearly in the wrong here and the entire relationship is unhealthy. Maybe it could get un-fucked-up later but it would require Dirk to actually grow as a person significantly, so

[Locke cole]

But the extreme violence was the intention of the robot on both sides of the exchange. The level of wrestling proweess of the robot was underestimaed by Jake, to be sure, and the Novice setting was skechy as all hell, true.

And Jake getting some spce was expressed as him pretty much vanishing for days at a time. From everyone, no just Dirk.

[POS Industries]

- one character has set up a situation that is, basically, sexual assault by proxy targeting another character

- this is enforced by extreme violence if the second character expresses dislike or tries to avoid this situation
It's programmed to Jake's specifications, with aspects of Dirk's own personality programmed into it. This wasn't part of some sort of fiendish plot to manipulate Jake into being gay for him, the brobot becoming "a bit tender for [Jake's] liking" was it acting on the subconscious impulses that Dirk didn't even want to admit to.

- At a later date after a relationship has been going on, The first character has been expressing extreme obsessive behavior towards the second
Dirk was becoming desperate due to being ignored for long periods by his boyfriend and was becoming distraught.

- when the second character tries to get some space in this situation and consider ending it, the first reacts with extreme hostility.
Completely merited hostility because Jake had been avoiding him due to not having the courage to just outright end it or even talk about the problem, and it wasn't even extreme. It was pretty much a totally understandable amount of anger given the situation and the treatment he'd received.

Like, I've been sick of Dirk for a while but these complaints aren't even based in anything resembling reality, and no I don't think Snake needs to "forget any genderpolitics and sexual identity issues for a minute" because you're still essentially insisting that Dirk somehow "turned Jake gay," which is unbelievably offensive.

[Bard The 5th LW]

To say that Dirk turned Jake gay is honestly pretty dumb. It seems obvious that Jake is just bi-curious in my opinion, he even said to Jane that he had considered a relationship with Dirk for a while. Like, to suggest that was the situation when it wasnt in any way is more offensive than any story portrayal I think.

While he definitely hasn't handled things to the best of the ability, I wouldn't really fault Jake for the way he treats his friends. He grew up on a fucking island, thats not a lot of good for his social skills. Furthermore, all of his friends have a crush on him and it has been demonstrated that he's at least subconsciously aware of this on all fronts. That's a probably a pretty stressful thing to deal with, especially if you're a teenager as teenagers aren't exactly renowned for their ability to handle stress. So, just shutting people out when he doesnt know how to act towards them was likely a reasonable solution to him.

[Arcanum]

So hey, update. Oh, and Snake, I'm pretty sure this flash doesn't end. Just a heads up :smug:

[rpgdemon]

So hey, update. Oh, and Snake, I'm pretty sure this flash doesn't end. Just a heads up :smug:

No, the end's the important bit.

[Locke cole]

Updup.

Christmas has come precisely 11 months early.

[Revising Ocelot]

http://i.imgur.com/JQMkn7h.png

[Loyal]

So the sword is the same tier as the Warhammer? Makes sense.

[Flarecobra]

RO, never before has your sig applied to a post.

[Aldurin]

Oh man, EVERYONE is getting on the Trickster Train.

[Odjn]

I hate this.

[Arcanum]

I hate this.

Don't be a buzzkill Dirk.

[Odjn]

Even thinking this makes me want to puke, but Dirk is the only one I remotely like right now. The sooner this ends, the sooner we can go back to the good plot.

[Flarecobra]

Anyone remember the movie Airplane! around here?

[stefan]

This is an acceptable outcome of this situation.

[Solid Snake]

...Wait.
So...
so was it all just a dream?
Because if it was all just some candy-induced nightmare Jane had then I'm torn between feeling that was all just a waste of time and THANKING THE GODDAMN LORD NONE OF THAT SHIT REALLY HAPPENED OH PRAISE OUR LORD AND SAVIOR ANDREW HUSSIE PRAISE HIM FOREVER

[stefan]

Fuck off caliborn, you are not the narrator. Cease that immediately.

Also why are there chains in the background what the fuck.

[Karrrrrrrrrrrresche]

The thing about drug trips is most often shit is actually happening, just not the shit you think is happening.
Not sure where Jane is, or what the fuck she has been doing.

[stefan]

So hey, uh, is it me or do those look like the chains we saw hanging in the moon-core chambers with the Quest Slabs for Aradia, Dave, and Rose?


yeah I don't think Jane wants to look around very quickly at the moment.

[Solid Snake]

I think what baffles me the most is how Dirk remained levelheaded throughout Jane's hallucination
Like, that takes so much effort that I have to wonder whether Jane, like Jake, has her own version of Dirk in her mind acting all autonomously and keeping Jane's-imaginary-Dirk in check
Or maybe this is just a side effect of Dirk's heart powers. The power to never be misrepresented by another's imaginary hallucination of you!!!!

[Locke cole]

Well, remember when Jake's memory of Dirk took over dreamself duties for Dirk?

I wouldn't be surprised if that's an actual power of his splintered self.

Anyway, Jane is very right to be completely horrified by what happened.

However, a lot of what did happen doesn't seem to have been possible as a hallucination. Jane couldn't have known about Arquiussprite, or what he would've said to dear, sweet, Fefeta. I got a feeling that some of wha seemed to be happening happened, but how much and what is beyond my sight.

Also, yeah, where the heck is Janey right now?

[Revising Ocelot]

I compare this to that one episode of the Simpsons where Bart and Milhouse consumed an all syrup Squishie-thingie or whatever it was, and went on an insane sugar-fuelled trip. The narration also implies it was real, so. Besides, you don't just wake up in some kind of Prospit crypt if you're merely hallucinating.

[Arcanum]

Jane's tripped out perception of narrative she wouldn't normally be privy to could also have been a result of weird cherub majjycks, since we know cherubs behave in odd ways when it comes to the fourth wall.

[Flarecobra]

Thank fucking god it's over.

[Revising Ocelot]

fancy fucking santas (http://andrewhussie.blogspot.co.uk/2008/12/fancy-santas-are-stupid-imposters.html)

[Bard The 5th LW]

Doesnt seem to me that it was a dream (what with Caliborn having seen it on his screens), but that Trickster mode was a temporary effect and it wore off and this is just a timeskip to the end of that.

[Arcanum]

Well Trickster Mode has always been a thing that didn't really exist within the world, but still existed from a fourth wall perspective, which is where Caliborn is. He's seeing the kids from the same perspective as the viewer or narration. So while Trickster Mode was a lollipop-induced drug haze adventure, we saw the whole thing, ergo Caliborn saw the whole thing.

[Revising Ocelot]

Update pretty much says it was real.

I still don't think it's Hussie that's speaking with Caliborn, especially due to what the narrator says about Gamzee.

EDIT: Also DELICIOUS EX MACHINA for topic title, which is as good as a veto coming from me.

[Flarecobra]

I nominate "Fuck you ==>" as a thread title.

And it looks like it's actually hurting Jane too...

[Karrrrrrrrrrrresche]

Thought it was just giving her a splitting headache or something.

[Loyal]

I'm more interested in Hussie riding Seahorsedad.

[Loyal]

Update with weird screen shenanigans.

Everybody gets a hangover.

[Flarecobra]

Not that weird, just...doubled.

[Locke cole]

Man, are they in any condition to even be thinking about god-tiering right now?

[Karrrrrrrrrrrresche]

In about as much condition as anybody who ever died while they were asleep on those things.
By which I mean no
because two of them are awake.

[Locke cole]

Oh man, Roxy's gotta be really feeling it.

Think about it. Juju hangover + alcohol hangover = PAIN

[Arcanum]

Oh man, Roxy's gotta be really feeling it.

Think about it. Juju hangover + alcohol hangover = PAIN

But all of them except Dirk got drunk.

[Locke cole]

Oh man...

Update.

Lord, this is so freaking sad.

[Solid Snake]

Lord, this is so freaking sad.

...I actually genuinely loved these updates and thought they made the whole Trickster Mode bullshit we just endured completely and utterly worth it.
Yay Character Development!!!

[Locke cole]

...I actually genuinely loved these updates and thought they made the whole Trickster Mode bullshit we just endured completely and utterly worth it.
Yay Character Development!!!

Oh, it's a marvelous update, make no mistake. It just happens to be really really sad.

[Ryong]

I find it funny that they cannot talk to eachother at all. They must use computers.

[Arcanum]

Well yeah they gotta unlock the Gift of Gab before they can do that.

[Aldurin]

Well yeah they gotta unlock the Gift of Gab before they can do that.

You think it wore off with the rest of Trickster Mode?

[Arcanum]

Of course. Trickster Mode broke all the rules, including the non-existing ones about kids directly talking to each other. Now that Trickster Mode is gone, those rules are back in place.

[Locke cole]

Jake is quickly discovering that the inability to speak to someone right next to him in lieu of texting was inside him all long. We are so very proud of his growth and maturity.

[Amake]

Haha who would have thought tripping balls would have sad after-effects when they sobered up?

Guess trickster mode was less like Mario's star power up and more like Fallout 2 drugs. Yay game balance.

[Locke cole]

Trickster is less Star and more Super Guide.

You beat the level, but you still don't know how to make that jump.

[Revising Ocelot]

No, the super guide still shows you the level and a way to beat it.

Trickster Mode is more like lending your copy of Ocarina of Time to a friend so they can start a new file, only to find when you get the cartridge back that while it's still Zelda, you're in a place you no longer recognise, there's a dirty great moon falling on your head, and the cartridge has suspicious stains on it.

[rpgdemon]

No, it's pretty clear that they remember what happened. WE timeskipped, not them.

[Solid Snake]

No, it's pretty clear that they remember what happened. WE timeskipped, not them.

Does this mean we missed their epic foursome (maybe threesome if Dirk bolted) baby-making orgy?
...Of all the times for Hussie to disappoint the shippers.

[Arcanum]

Does this mean we missed their underage foursome (maybe threesome if Dirk bolted) baby-making orgy?
...Of all the times for Hussie to disappoint the shippers.

FTFY

[Solid Snake]

FTFY

You clearly don't know any Homestuck shippers and/or fanfic writers and/or fanart creators in existence if you think that distinction would stop them from being immeasurably disappointed in Andrew right now.

[Aldurin]

But Snake, you're forgetting about the impending ultimate troll orgy when the original twelve and their ancestors get it on (with dream bubble ghost shenanigans it's totally possible.)

[Karrrrrrrrrrrresche]

Wait so strip pokerstuck is canon?

[Aldurin]

Shit is gettin' real now! And the scariness of Cal deepens.

[Solid Snake]

...Welp.
Back to having no clue whatsoever what the heck is goin' on.

[Arcanum]

Fucking Time Lords.

[Aldurin]

...Welp.
Back to having no clue whatsoever what the heck is goin' on.

Well you see, Caliborn mentions earlier that Lil' Cal (who has always been ambiguous in whether or not it's alive) is an empty Juju that will eventually be very powerful. This is the Lil' Cal that originates in Dave's Derse room, and one of the variations that split up (as two instances of Lil' Cal were created by the Beta session portal, one for the Alpha earth and one for the Beta earth). Due to the condition of Lil' Cal at this point, it's likely that this is the Lil' Cal from the Alphaverse (which was last shown falling into the fiery pit below Dirk's house as he was busy Uniting and Synchronizing everyone).

Now the Lil' Cal in the Betaverse eventually went to the Troll session, as we know, and got the green outfit from Kanaya's stitch job. This clearly ended up in Gamzee's possession during the whole meteor shenanigans where everyone is looting everything. Gamzee then sends this one to Alpha Jack who is imprisoned (indicated by his calling card).

At this point the paradox gets weird, as Caliborn earlier explains that only one instance of a Juju can exist, and duplicates are either illusions or errors to be corrected. Then he decides that Dirk's Cal doesn't have the Juju powers, but that being that way may make it even more dangerous.

Skip to now, where both Jack and Caliborn are staring into Betaverse and Alphaverse Cal's respectively. Jack ends up stabbing his own eyes out and putting Cal's eyes in. Whether or not the resulting being is Jack or another incarnation of Caliborn is unclear (though very possible as having Lil' Cal infused in the creation of the first guardian turned Doc Scratch into a "host" for what was a dormant and much older iteration of Caliborn.

My theory, Caliborn is staring into Alphaverse Lil' Cal, in a sense imbuing it with his own life force to some degree and fashion. This act somehow triggers through Betaverse Lil' Cal in Jack's possession, possessing him with Caliborn to an unspecified degree. This may in fact be synchronized by the age of Lil' Cal, depending on how long it takes for Gamzee to end up in Caliborn's session (essentially, Lil' Cal that Caliborn is staring into may be at that moment the same age as the Betaverse Lil' Cal when Jack looks into it). Essentially activating "dead" Alpha Cal triggered the Juju paradox that Caliborn warned Dirk about, which transferred that power into Beta Cal who then possesses himself into Jack in order to maintain the law of having only one actual Juju, Beta Cal driving Jack to absorb it's power so that Alpha Cal is the only instance of that Juju.

That being said we still need far more details and updates to get the actual story, but my theory pieces together what we have so far.

[Art of Hilt]

I'M

FREAKING

OUT

[Locke cole]

Jack English.

[Aldurin]

Addendum to my explanation for Snake: That crowbar is also really getting around. It's really unclear where it originates or whether it's the only instance. Appearing both in Crowbar's possession before Trollverse Jack took it. At this point it disappears along with the end of the universe. Then somehow Gamzee has it, giving it to both Alpha Jack-who-may-actually-be-Caliborn-now, and to Caliborn later on. We don't even know how that ended up in Gamzee's possesion, and whether or not he gets it back from this version of Jack to give to Caliborn, or if he somehow recreates the time-immune Juju via paradox. It's another interesting note on the events that can't really be called a timeline anymore, or really a time-pretzel. At this point the shape that time is presented in is pretty much non-euclidian.

[Locke cole]

The crowbar's origins are meant to be unclear. It is a juju, after all.

Also, I don't think Jack English here is Lord English. I just think that Caliborn really liked the idea of remaking Jack in his own image.

[Revising Ocelot]

The talk about how staring into Lil Cal's eyes is staring into Caliborn's soul? Well, that's what happens when it stares back into you.

So I guess Jack's possessed by Caliborn, more or less. And since Jack is an older 'shell' than Caliborn himself, it exhibits more Englishy traits. The ones that give a more visual representation of how horrifying Caliborn really is. My take on it, anyway.

[Flarecobra]

My head hurts. X_O

[Locke cole]

Another nickname, courtesy of some guys I talk to.

Union Jack.

[stefan]

In Earthbound, the purported main antagonist was Giygas, a rampaging, mindless force of destruction that loomed over the events of the whole game and tended to make things significantly more tense whenever it was even mentioned. But the game's real antagonist was Pokey, a mentally stunted little shithead who enabled Giygas at every turn for petty, childish reasons, and eventually resorted to time travel to cause trouble on a level he'd never been capable of before.

It's so nice to see that Homestuck hasn't forgotten its roots.

.

[Loyal]

Wait so strip pokerstuck is canon?

http://i.imgur.com/pz4XEzY.png

[Locke cole]

So, what, Jack English is analogous to... Fassad?

edit: Oh, wait. Lil Cal is probably Fassad.

[Karrrrrrrrrrrresche]

http://i.imgur.com/pz4XEzY.png

Is that a yes?

[Solid Snake]

What is strip pokerstuck?

[Locke cole]

A game where you play poker using a homestuck playing card deck, when you're faced with a project requiring the use of paint stripper. Whoever wins doesn't have to do any work.

[Karrrrrrrrrrrresche]

Fanfiction involving Homestuck characters playing strip poker.

[Solid Snake]

Fanfiction involving Homestuck characters playing strip poker.

...Goddamn it why did I read all that

[Karrrrrrrrrrrresche]

Wait, you read both?
Like, all 140,000 so far words of it?
Damn, dude.

[Solid Snake]

Wait, you read both?
Like, all 140,000 so far words of it?
Damn, dude.

No, just the first one.



EDIT: Also, why is it somehow simultaneously really terribly sleazy erotic fanfiction
...But also almost kind of sort of well-written?
Every time I was like "This is fucking disgusting, they're kids, this is awful, uuuggghhhh"
I was then like "Buuuuut I could go for one more update just to see the next Homestuck pun and how the next hand unfolds"

[Karrrrrrrrrrrresche]

Suuuure, snake. You read it just to see the hand unfold.

Wink wink nudge nudge.

[Karrrrrrrrrrrresche]

TODAY IN HOMESTUCK
Roxy being amazing is canon.
Totally canon.
Forever canon.

[Odjn]

TODAY IN HOMESTUCK
Jane's Dad is totally dead as a doornail.

[Karrrrrrrrrrrresche]

How, exactly?
I thought Dad was on Derse proper, not the little chain attached tower laden moon thingie the Condesce just blew up.

[POS Industries]

How, exactly?
I thought Dad was on Derse proper, not the little chain attached tower laden moon thingie the Condesce just blew up.
This, the moons are just the dreamself towers and dead!dreamself questbed crypts.

Prisons are on the planet, which is why Jack is blowing it up from the far side on Prospit.

TODAY IN HOMESTUCK
Roxy being amazing is canon.
Totally canon.
Forever canon.
Lalondes da bess.

[Flarecobra]

For a moment, I thought those two were going to have at it.

[Arcanum]

And thus continues the theme of crazy giant explosions killing people in their quest tomb.

[Arhra]

Oh my goooooosh.

I really hope no-one got out of bed to use the bathroom or grab a sandwich or confess or something silly like that!

[Flarecobra]

Update.

We got 4 new God-tiers now.

[Locke cole]

If I wasn't very interested by Jack Noir, I'd probably consider it a cop-out that an outside force bypassed the whole "face your own mortality" aspect of going god-tier.

Again.

[Aldurin]

I think Roxy wins the God-tier fashion awards, especially since Jake is disqualified for his horrible lack of a codpiece.

[Locke cole]

Rockin' that domino mask.

[Karrrrrrrrrrrresche]

Fuck yeeees Roxy is great.

[Flarecobra]

I think Roxy wins the God-tier fashion awards, especially since Jake is disqualified for his horrible lack of a codpiece.

Why? He's neither a bard or is he of rage. He's the Page of Hope.

[Arcanum]

Why? He's neither a bard or is he of rage. He's the Page of Hope.

Al is just sad that we got a full crotch shot with no excessive bulge.

e- Jane needs to stop oggling Jake's junk.

[POS Industries]

Jane needs to stop oggling Jake's junk.
It's not like she's ever been able to stop before.

[Loyal]

Princely Pantaloons.

[Karrrrrrrrrrrresche]

UPDATE.

Which brings up a pretty good point.
Where exactly are his pants?

[Flarecobra]

It's Pantless o'Clock.

[Locke cole]

Most badass panel. Everyone else go home. (http://www.mspaintadventures.com/storyfiles/hs2/05869.gif)

[Arhra]

Soooo, think seeing that teleporting is awesome is how a certain someone got the idea of making some sort of Green Sun?

[Aldurin]

Somewhat disappointed at the lack of battle, since it's still dubious about how powerful RainbowFuckYou powers are compared to GodlyGreenStatic powers.

[Revising Ocelot]

gutsmansass.jpg

[Karrrrrrrrrrrresche]

Now that I think about it it's sort of strange that all the users of the Green Sun have the staticy green power but LE and the minions we've actually seen him directly empower lately seem to use the rainbowfuckyou.

[Locke cole]

I don't think LE himself is a First Guardian, despite chestbursting out of Doc Scratch.

[Vauron]

I wonder, assuming that Caliborn is controlling Jack, would this mean that Jade is the first person to go 'lol-no' to him? The only thing close might be the narrator playing elevator music or Gamzee just not dieing. I suspect he will take it poorly, and he may end up focusing on her to an extent.

[Tev]

Just a quick question from someone who is not a follower of Homestuck: is there a particular reason the fandom is tragically melting down all over Tumblr these last few days? Like, in the last month or so I've noticed that this fandom has teamed up with a few other fandoms I observe and then, two-ish days ago...

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v110/Loneglade/HS/hs01_zps8a3d385a.png
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v110/Loneglade/HS/hs02_zps71e33d0c.png
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v110/Loneglade/HS/hs03_zps215871e1.png
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v110/Loneglade/HS/hs04_zpsb07e3e02.png
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v110/Loneglade/HS/hs05_zps8e7050c5.png
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v110/Loneglade/HS/hs06_zpsbeab3282.png
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v110/Loneglade/HS/hs07_zpsb00b1b17.png
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v110/Loneglade/HS/hs08_zps555b519c.gif
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v110/Loneglade/HS/hs09_zps13d1ca39.png
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v110/Loneglade/HS/hs10_zpsd1356e2d.png
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v110/Loneglade/HS/hs11_zpsce187e6a.png
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v110/Loneglade/HS/hs12_zpsb036c353.png
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v110/Loneglade/HS/hs13_zpse1cdb9f8.png

So yeah, did I miss something?

[Flarecobra]

Someone started a rumor that Hussie died. (http://flutterjedi.tumblr.com/post/42946597798/kurlozmakara-gothicstan-attackothefeels)

[POS Industries]

Doggone it, Jade.

[Locke cole]

That's dangerously close to a literal description of events.

[stefan]

This is like tailor made for a John rescue here, he has a burning hate for the Batterwitch and he's shown the kind of no-nonsense chastisement that works for cowing imps AND dogs.

The tiara is only there to set up the 3X SHOWDOWN COMBO callback.

[POS Industries]

Here's hoping Jade remembered to scale the battleship back to normal size before she teleported off.

Otherwise John's gonna have a real short trip.

[Flarecobra]

I don't think she did anything to the battleship aside from make it move...

Anyway, my feelings about the update...

FUCK.

[POS Industries]

I don't think she did anything to the battleship aside from make it move...
Either she scaled the ship down or she scaled her fourth wall up, which effectively scaled the ship down to the size of the corresponding wall on the other side, since we already saw it being tiny in Hussie's library and the hole it came through in Jake's wall being similarly small.

So unless she adjusted the size of the battleship upon arrival, it and everything on it are eensy weensy. Which includes John.

[Art of Hilt]

This is the plot twist I never knew I wanted.
Guys, guys, guys.
This is the best plot twist ever.
I LOVE this sequence of events guys you don't even know. It's like, imagine I had a problem with Jade being the most powerful being ever, right? And now imagine that problem being magically transformed into FIFTY SIMULTANEOUS ORGASMS. That is this update.
God, I love Homestuck.

[Arcanum]

Well fuck. The Condesce just made Jade her bitch.

[The SSB Intern]

Well fuck. The Condesce just made Jade her bitch.

I see what you did there.

[Locke cole]

Bluh Bluh.

[Arhra]

Her Imperious Condescension confirmed for best villain?