Homesuck: Vriska Rising

[Aldurin]

Let's be honest. Deep down we knew these recent updates were too good to be true.

At least I will have plenty of time to re-read Homestuck.

How far will you get in the re-read before Hussie releases the flash in December?

[Locke cole]

Sigh... Everything awesome I'm looking forward to isn't going to be active for at leas several months.

[Flarecobra]

At least that's one less thing I have to check every day.

Maybe a re-read of Problem Sleuth/discussion about this will help pass the time or someshit.

Or not.

[Revising Ocelot]

Map updated, finally.

http://i.imgur.com/uRhPwSh.gif

[Revising Ocelot]

Update.

INCESTUOUSLY MASTURBATORY. for topic title.

[POS Industries]

Homosuck is shit.

[Loyal]

It's okay, there's pretty much no period where the thread title as is won't continue to be appropriate.

[POS Industries]

Oh good, you can bug McTahr about that shit now.

EDIT: Or I dunno maybe SO. Whichever. Point is I'M FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

[Locke cole]

Wow. It's been quite a week.

[Flarecobra]

Best. Comic. Ever.

Watch as it turns out to be a big tease.

[Revising Ocelot]

Looks like POS is implicitly approving of Cronus.

What a POS that POS is.

[Locke cole]

Oh, I'm grateful for Cronus.

He's extremely valuable as a baseline for how horrible a character is. It's really easy to put character in perspective by comparing them to Cronus. When a character goes down to below Cronus, then you know he's Caliborn-caliber horrible.

[POS Industries]

Eridan's still worse.

[Loyal]

None of them would be possible without our favorite, Queen Spider8itch, setting the bar for all the lowly mortals to follow.

To the best of my knowledge neither Eridan, Cronus, nor Caliborn had sweeping rule changes on the MSPA forums dedicated to what you could or could not say about fictional characters, after all.

[Odjn]

Eridan clearly has a lot to learn to level up to Cronus Creepy.

[POS Industries]

Eridan clearly has a lot to learn to level up to Cronus Creepy.
Conversely, Cronus has work to do to reach Eridan's body count.

---------- Post added 06-14-2013 at 01:12 AM ---------- Previous post was 06-13-2013 at 09:43 PM ----------

UPDATE:

Goddammit not this shit again. It wasn't funny the first time.

[Arhra]

So if Rose's text is looking like that, does that mean she's metamorphosised into some sort of missingno type god-tier?

[Loyal]

Goddammit John get back here and save the day.

[Locke cole]

John is going to appear in Caliborn's room and blow on the cartridge.

Heir of Breath.

[Odjn]

Conversely, Cronus has work to do to reach Eridan's body count.

---------- Post added 06-14-2013 at 01:12 AM ---------- Previous post was 06-13-2013 at 09:43 PM ----------

UPDATE:

Goddammit not this shit again. It wasn't funny the first time.

What, of one guy?

[Revising Ocelot]

Hey, if it means Doc Scratch reappears to bash Caliborn's head in with the manga book I'm all for it.

[Karrrrrrrrrrrresche]

So if Rose's text is looking like that, does that mean she's metamorphosised into some sort of missingno type god-tier?

No, her planet is covered in the dust Caliborn dropped into the cartridge.

[POS Industries]

What, of one guy?
Killed Feferi, temporarily killed Kanaya, blinded Sollux, tried to betray everyone to Jack, not to mention all that angel murdering. Cronus was mean to a guy with brain damage and couldn't keep his hands to himself, and he still wasn't even the worst about either of those things on his own team (thank you, Damara).

Cronus was a skeevy dude, but he was still nowhere near as ecceptionally terrible a person as Eridan.

[Locke cole]

You forgot the Matriorb.

[POS Industries]

You forgot the Matriorb.
Oh man, I can't believe I totally overlooked Eridan damning his entire species to extinction.

Cronus being a bit more of a pervy douchebag totally beats that out, huh?

[Loyal]

There was also the whole bit about kidnapping and murdering trolls by the thousands during his Orphaner Dualscar days. True, Feferi's lusus needed to be fed (and I guess Vriska's too, but details), but Eridan never seemed anything but gleeful about his conquests, nor anything but nostalgic for the good ol' days.

[Locke cole]

A certain extent of that part of his life can be attributed to Troll culture.

Being a teamkilling idiot and dooming his race to extinction... can't.

[Arhra]

So is this meant to be nostalgic of inevitably having a scratched (oh dohohohohoho) disk for the later part of a lengthy game, which makes all the cinematics and stuff mess up?

[Locke cole]

I think it's supposed to be nostalgic of the last time Hussie did this.

[Aldurin]

And just when I thought the bullshit couldn't get any more non-euclidean, it just breaks in half and fills the room again.

Though now the whole thing is fuck Space AND Time, Void is where it's at.

[Locke cole]

More like getting rid of void is where it's at. I guess it ultimately makes sense.

[Amake]

As much sense as the absence of existing can make to our brains and their stupid limitations of existingness, I guess.

On reflection, it's easy to comprehend as a mathematical abstraction. Stealing the not-beingness from imaginary objects is just a double subtraction; n--1 = n+1. I imagine you've got to have a Rogue or Thief of Void to get that delicious double negative, though.

Anyway, once she succeeds in creating a Perfectly Generic Object it doesn't seem all that godlike anymore cause we remember this is Sburb where anyone can craft things into being, sometimes at negative cost. :I

[Loyal]

Five boondollars says she voids a clone of someone and breaks out.

I mean if Jade's expecting her to successfully conjure something like a Matriorb, I imagine Roxy doesn't require an integral knowledge of the subject matter to create it.

[Flarecobra]

You're right Roxy. Evil Jade is the suckiest one.

[Bard The 5th LW]

Quickly Roxy, summon Equius and void the fuck out of this jail!

[Locke cole]

...could she summon Arquiussprite to her? And would doing so keep his weird voidy... aura intact?

[Flarecobra]

Spoiler: Dave likes Burger King.

[Loyal]

Sorry that Rose is not available for today's psychotherapy session, Dave, but Dr. Jade has agreed to see you instead.

[Arcanum]

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

[Flarecobra]

Well, that sucks.

[Ecks]

What sort of story would this be, with our Knight made to stay a cadaver? Certainly not one the alpha timeline would allow.

[Locke cole]

So; Jane's power. Useful or overly limited?

[Vauron]

I give it a 'meh'. Death hasn't seemed to matter in Homestuck for some time, there are already plenty of nails in that coffin.

[Flarecobra]

Silly hummingbirds.

[Bard The 5th LW]

Its obviously a demonstration. Jane's gonna revive him in a few moments and its going to be 'do this thing or we keep killing you'.

E: Oh wow I missed the new update!

[Locke cole]

Its obviously a demonstration. Jane's gonna revive him in a few moments and its going to be 'do this thing or we keep killing you'.

E: Oh wow I missed the new update!

More like "do this thing, or you die again, and forever this time."

I give it a 'meh'. Death hasn't seemed to matter in Homestuck for some time, there are already plenty of nails in that coffin.

There are caveats, though. The Quest Beds and kissing only work if you have a Dreamself left, and only for a certain window of time after death. The crypt is a little easier to use, but if you don't have a dreamself, there's a really short window of opportunity. The Ring is a singular legendary item that John might have on him.

And both of those methods require one to be a player of the game. It hasn't been explained, but I'm wondering if Jane's power could work on anyone dead, including people like Dad, who aren't players.

[Arcanum]

To be fair we still don't know if part of the requirement for God Tier via Crypt is to die in a moon-shattering explosion.

[Locke cole]

I thought Aradia was burned to death. Granted, Derse's moon got moonshattered shortly thereafter. Heck, maybe the requirement is to be burned by green-sun-fire.

[Flarecobra]

Update.

Girls, it's called "Sunglasses."

[Arhra]

Did... did John just blow away the glitchy artifact crap with his windy thing?

John is going to appear in Caliborn's room and blow on the cartridge.

Heir of Breath.
I think you might be on to something here!

[Flarecobra]

I believe he did.

[Loyal]

I wonder just how or where John would learn to use his new power anyway. It's not like there's a precedent here and he's clearly gained no intuitive knowledge just by having it.

[POS Industries]

I wonder just how or where John would learn to use his new power anyway. It's not like there's a precedent here and he's clearly gained no intuitive knowledge just by having it.
He's had a full year since discovering them and four planets and a battlefield to run around on and experiment.

Were you expecting a training montage or something?

[Loyal]

Let me rephrase that: It's been a year and he still has yet to learn to use his new power on command or in the manner he wishes.

JOHN: ok, the bottom line is, now i just randomly disappear sometimes!

Exactly how might that change given the above?

[Karrrrrrrrrrrresche]

I think the disappearing reappearing was implied to have more to do with his shoving an arm into the boundary of reality.

[Arcanum]

Yeah him zapping about through space and time is a consequence of him shoving his arm into that Sburb house icon that Vriska and Friends found.

It's not the same thing as him turning into wind and wooshing off to somewhere else, which is what he had a good long while to practice (and what I think POS was referring to maybe).

[Revising Ocelot]

I think it would have been better to keep the first "megapause" going rather than continuously doing 1 week of updates followed by 3 weeks of pause. This is the third time in a row now?

[Locke cole]

Yeah, the first zap happened... what, maybe a week ago?

By contrast, he did his first wind-dissolve a full year ago, and does it entirely at will.

[POS Industries]

Yeah, the first zap happened... what, maybe a week ago?
Probably closer to a few hours at most. If even one hour. We've reached April 13, 2012 and we're probably not going any further for the rest of the story.

[Loyal]

I guess this is what happens on an extended hiatus, such that I would confuse the whooshy teleporty thing and the zappy teleporty thing for being one and the same.

[Flarecobra]

Disturbing update.

[Revising Ocelot]

Hussie concluded the last update wasn't disturbing enough for a 15 day hiatus. Back to 2 more months of waiting.

[Ryong]

Could be worse than troll breasts. He could be talking about troll genitalia and the absence or existence of such.

[Locke cole]

That would be worse, because we already know the function, if not the design, of those. At least he's currently offering info on a topic we know pretty much nothing about.

It's also a topic people have asked him questions about before, so you can rest assured that the subject will immediately change before any actual info is delivered.

[Amake]

Hussie concluded the last update wasn't disturbing enough for a 15 day hiatus. Back to 2 more months of waiting. What you said, except one more time.

[Flarecobra]

New update.

Dave, just what are you doing?

[Aldurin]

You don't complete the full circle of identity crises until you question your own superpowers.

[Amake]

If the Knight of Time hangs up his turntables, we could call it a dark time for time itself. Almost like a sort of. . .night time.

[Mr.Bookworm]

http://i.imgur.com/Rd3E0Ew.png

:wtf:

[akaSM]

:wtf:

:wtf:

[Aldurin]

The fuck?

[akaSM]

No wait...now I remember...wow...now I completely understand those past/future self time shenanigans...

[Aldurin]

So this update was all "wow we get the best dialoguer in character development" then it was all NOOOO LET HIM LIVE!

[Odjn]

Kill the shit outta her, dave!

[Locke cole]

Nonononononononononono.

No.

edit:

So, I wonder why Jade and the Condesce think that time travel is the thing to use against Lord English.

I mean, using time travel to fight a guy who's explicitly got absolute dominion over Time strikes me as exactly the most wrong thing to do. It's like trying to kill Aquaman by turning into water, or throwing a rock at Toph.

[Ryong]

Maybe if Dave achieves perfect time travel skills he can distract Lord English forever while everyone else does their own thing? Hell if I know.

[Loyal]

Time-displaced Daves still have yet to appear, so.

Yeah.

[Arhra]

Who knows, an unexpected miracle (http://aviarei.tumblr.com/post/57317378020/plot-twist-mayor-wins) could happen.

[Amake]

I mean, using time travel to fight a guy who's explicitly got absolute dominion over Time strikes me as exactly the most wrong thing to do. It's like trying to kill Aquaman by turning into water, or throwing a rock at Toph. I thought that too, but then I thought maybe the difference in how Dave and English's time power works could let Dave do something unexpected. But then I thought about what their titles actually mean: Time is Lord English's little bitch, and Dave is its servant. It could be that anything Dave does with his timey thing necessarily end up indirectly helping Lord English.

Hypothesis: To defeat Lord English the kids will need a power outside the scope of time, something which in comparison dwarfs all of time. My bet is Karkat's swearing.

[Revising Ocelot]

Who knows, an unexpected miracle (http://aviarei.tumblr.com/post/57317378020/plot-twist-mayor-wins) could happen.

No.

3-way doggy fight. The Good, The Bad & The Ugly.

[Odjn]

I didn't really like Jade before but evil Jade is just grating. C'mon John, go beat up a batterwitch.

[Flarecobra]

Update.

...Wow, Jade is a bitch in just about every way possible now.

[Locke cole]

He's dead.

By the time Dave can even reach him, he'll have hit the lava and turned into a cloud of mayoral gasses.

[Dracorion]

He's dead.

By the time Dave can even reach him, he'll have hit the lava and turned into a cloud of mayoral gasses.

She's forcing Dave to time travel in order to save the mayor, Locke.

At least that better be what happens.

[Bard The 5th LW]

And then doom himself?

That'll just make Dave even MORE against time travel when another Dave appears, saves the Mayor, and then dies.

[Arcanum]

Unless Dave uses time powers to freeze the mayor before he hits the lava, similar to what Aradia did to Jack way back when.

I dunno why everyone (and by everyone I mean you folks as well as Jade and Dave) think time powers means time traveling.

fakedit - Also Dave wouldn't doom himself, since he's God Tier and can fly. If he just time traveled to before the Mayor hits the lava, and swoops him off his feet like a lame red version of Super Man saving a way better version of Lois Lane, then it's easily a stable time loop.

[Locke cole]

Superman already is red.

[Bard The 5th LW]

Unless Dave uses time powers to freeze the mayor before he hits the lava, similar to what Aradia did to Jack way back when.

I dunno why everyone (and by everyone I mean you folks as well as Jade and Dave) think time powers means time traveling.

fakedit - Also Dave wouldn't doom himself, since he's God Tier and can fly. If he just time traveled to before the Mayor hits the lava, and swoops him off his feet like a lame red version of Super Man saving a way better version of Lois Lane, then it's easily a stable time loop.

Because Time Travel is the only form of timepowers Dave is ever seen using? And the assumption being made was that the mayor WOULD die to the lava and Dave would travel back to undo it, which would change the timeline and would make him a doomed copy god tier or no.

Its all moot however as Dave flies much more quickly than we believed.

[Flarecobra]

...The mayor looks so uncomfortable now.

[Amake]

I like how the Mayor is just going whee I'm flying while Dave is trying to shoosh and pap and snuggle him up all big daddy's here now and he's gonna make it all better-like. At first. Though the Mayor's eye in close up seems to scream I need an adult.

[Loyal]

It's nice to see the good guys get an unequivocal victory once in awhile instead of being constantly hamstrung along by the unopposed efforts of the villain of the week.

[Locke cole]

I get the feeling that expecting that from Andrew Hussie is like expecting that from Brian Clevinger.

[Arcanum]

Because Time Travel is the only form of timepowers Dave is ever seen using?

To be fair we haven't seen Dave use any time powers since he turned God Tier, and Aradia only used her time-lock post-god-tier, and to me it always looked like pre-god-tier time traveling was solely because of their respective time devices, especially since we've seen Gamzee time travel with Aradia's music boxes.

And the assumption being made was that the mayor WOULD die to the lava and Dave would travel back to undo it, which would change the timeline and would make him a doomed copy god tier or no.

Okay yeah I can respect that logic.

[Arhra]

Nice brick joke there, Jane Crocker!

[Arcanum]

Wow, way to go John. Way to completely ruin that wonderful moment Dave had with the Mayor.

[greed]

I get the feeling that expecting that from Andrew Hussie is like expecting that from Brian Clevinger.


Except you know, that's exactly how 8Bit ended. Unequivocal victory for the good guys (The White Mages).

[Loyal]

I ... where exactly did Jane get thousands of bottles of troll blood...?

[Flarecobra]

Clones, or Her Imperial Contence or however the fuck you spell that word.

[Bard The 5th LW]

Gamzee REALLY knew how to bleed those trolls for their boonbuck covered blood.

[Locke cole]

I ... where exactly did Jane get thousands of bottles of troll blood...?

Gamzee is very persuasive.

[Revising Ocelot]

Dave's lying, he's actually jealous of in-universe retcons being more powerful than vanilla time-travel.

[Locke cole]

John is actually a Prince of Time. His current hoodie is all a distraction.

Ad if he isn't one now, he could be going to have been later, in the past.

[Flarecobra]

Holy shit... I'm starting to see some hints of the old Jade come through...

[Arcanum]

Did... did John just time jump back to stop himself from completing his first time jump, thus stopping him from changing anything? Pretty sure that's what just happened.

[Locke cole]

Why would he even do that? Is the Mayor's near-incineration really that important?

[Arcanum]

Could be because when the Mayor was nearly incinerated Jade thought that being evil was super hard, whereas when they just talked about incinerating the Mayor John was all like "you're super good at being evil" and she was like "yeah."

It wouldn't surprise me if that ended up being a huge plot point since this is Homestuck we're talking about.

[Loyal]

Well, that was probably the laziest update ever.

[Flarecobra]

Update.

...Even has the evil petting of the cat.

[Aldurin]

Wow, Jake is getting the shit end of this whole paradox society deal.

[Mr.Bookworm]

Jake, you're being the Tavros.

You don't want to be the Tavros.

[POS Industries]

Jake, you're being the Tavros.

You don't want to be the Tavros.
inb4 Jake misunderstands alien cultures and uses his powers to kill Rufioh.

[Locke cole]

This is just... so disturbing.

Really highlights how disturbing the whole "And now, my pretty, you must marry me!" trope is.

On other notes, I just knew that's how Hopey powers work.

[Loyal]

So Roxy can make things by stealing the "nonexistence" from them, and Jake can create things (or people?) by wishing hard enough?

[Locke cole]

Of course. After all, if you believe in something hard enough, that makes it slightly less fake.

[Bard The 5th LW]

An OTP is about.

[Flarecobra]

Good Guy John.

[Arhra]

Jake, you're being the Tavros.

You don't want to be the Tavros.
Don't be ridiculous.

Tavros was never this hot.

[Loyal]

ROXY: so i built this sick pyramid deal to help focus my brain chi and spiritual majyyks and if at all possible to blitz my chakras out the yin yang Dersite Olive Garden confirmed for Roxy's end-goal.

[Mr.Bookworm]

Don't be ridiculous.

Tavros was never this hot.

That's because you've never seen him in his God Tier outfit! The little crotch-bulge sky-blue outer-underwear is the hotness.

...I'm actually pretty convinced that Hussie came up with the Page outfit back when Tavros was around.

That seems like something that would happen to Tavros.

[Locke cole]

Tavros would probably be thrilled, actually.

oH YES,
i CAN SEE MY TOTALLY FUNCTIONAL LEGS,

[Karrrrrrrrrrrresche]

EVERYTHING IS GOING AS I HAVE FORSEEN

[POS Industries]

Go go hastily thrown together convenience shipping

Everyone must be paired to please our tumblr overlords

[Karrrrrrrrrrrresche]

Man I've been waiting for this for at least over a year don't rain on my John and Roxy parade.

[Ryong]

John should get a god tier badge for this recap-that-isn't.

[POS Industries]

Man I've been waiting for this for at least over a year don't rain on my John and Roxy parade.
Well yeah, that was pretty much the obvious thing that was going to happen once Rose paired off with Kanaya and Jake paired off with Dirk with Jane as the runner-up. There were no other options available that didn't involve raining on some other tumblr shipper's parade that was already in progress.

We have reached the "we have to pair everyone off in the most clean, convenient way possible with no buildup or subtlety whatsoever" stage of storytelling. The only pressing matter that the plot will deem necessary to work out is how to effectively manage the Dirk/Jake/Jane issue in a way that makes sure everyone lives happily ever after in their respective pairings.

Meanwhile, we still don't give a shit about Lord English. Or any of the Jack Noirs flying through space at the moment, for that matter.

[Karrrrrrrrrrrresche]

Not gonna lie, I never gave a shit about Lord English.

[POS Industries]

No one did, there was never any reason to. By the time he showed up, the plot was too focused on getting all the OTPs in a row.

That said, kudos to John for meeting a hot girl and proceeding to literally tell her about Homestuck.

[Dracorion]

I really don't think, or maybe I'm just hoping, this John and Roxy thing is actually going to happen at all.

[Mr.Bookworm]

Hussie's patron troll is Nepeta.

[Locke cole]

(because every relationship Roxy's looked into materialized into an actual pairing)

Much more, I'm interested in John's god tier lesson. I get the feeling that his powers manifesting when he needs them most is just how it works for Heirs. They inherit their powers, as if the aspect is a guardian. Contrast with Pages, who face eternal level grinding.

And I'm looking forward to the Jackpot.

[Bard The 5th LW]

Its sort of worth noting that John and Roxy seem to have DELIBERATELY avoided romance until now, with John deciding in the timeskip that he wanted little to do with it and Roxy intentionally staying out of the Jake English dangertango (and only sarcastically pursing Dirk).

As for Jake/Jane/Dirk, I fee like Jade/Davesprite and Dave/Terezi and Vriska/Ghost!John/Tavrosmaybe(?) seem to indicate that Hussie has little qualms with just dropping a romantic subplot and leaving the characters okay without a replacement relationship, albeit ones that admittedly didn't get much to any screentime.

[Revising Ocelot]

Seems rather one-sided.

John's duration in the comic will have absolutely no relationships, believe me. Excluding GhostJohns, since they're dead anyway.

[Flarecobra]

Update.

I think this ends the John/Vriska stuff.

[Arhra]

Update.

I think this ends the John/Vriska stuff.

It won't end until Andrew Hussie slips the ring on Mrs Hussie's plump finger.

[Flarecobra]

Which is missing.

[Mr.Bookworm]

If something ever proceeds in a straight-forward, uncomplicated manner on Homestuck, it will be a legitimately shocking plot-twist.

[Revising Ocelot]

Oh great, the meta's getting out of hand again.

[Loyal]

This must be the Cherub analogue to Duck Amuck.

[Flarecobra]

and we got a crash. And a dead, shittly drawn girl.

[Revising Ocelot]

http://youtu.be/PO-u068B6RU?t=8s

[Aldurin]

I see Hussie is taking the controversial stance that sexist webcomics are not cool by equating such authors to Caliborn. I approve.

[Flarecobra]

The robot is the best character in this story. And by that, I mean Homestuck as a whole.

[Ryong]

Hussie saw some shitty fanfiction.

[Loyal]

First Con Air, now this.

Will John's rage against shitty storytelling never end? Who! Will! Be! Next!

[Red Mage Black]

Geez, that's some pretty lazy architecture construction. Just copy & paste the whole way up.

[Flarecobra]

Lazy, but efficient.

[Menarker]

You'd think she'd be smart enough to just paste several times in a row, instead of having to copy a portion of the structure each time. Or copying the entire structure each time so it grows in size exponentially, instead of +1 segment for every reiteration of the process.

[Locke cole]

Or maybe this is her first copy.

[POS Industries]

See, told ya Vriska was never coming back to life.

[Arhra]

My ships! Hooray!

(That is what they are saying)

[Flarecobra]

And Vriska is still around in some fashion.

Also, This Page. (http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=008456)

[Locke cole]

Nah, Vriska is still dead. Aranea is our current Light player with a plan that might be crazy enough to work, and is definitely crazy enough to be crazy and dangeorus.

[POS Industries]

Aranea is our current Light player
Hey now, once Rose's hangover wears off she'll be more than up to the task of God of Light strategery.

[Locke cole]

But Rose is no longer a Light Player who has a crazy plan. She is a Light player, yes.

[Flarecobra]

Nah, Vriska is still dead.

I never said she was alive. Just that she was around.

[POS Industries]

But Rose is no longer a Light Player who has a crazy plan. She is a Light player, yes.
Who says she doesn't? Making crazy plans is all Light players know how to do.

[Flarecobra]

Plots within plots.

[Amake]

So there's that awkward moment when you're trying to wake someone up who's very obviously having a sex dream about you.

[POS Industries]

So there's that awkward moment when you're trying to wake someone up who's very obviously having a sex dream about you.
Or, more accurately, someone who's having a sex dream about a fictional movie alien due to a fetish that also includes you.

[Flarecobra]

And Araena is pulling off some Sybok shit there.

[Arcanum]

And thus Lord English was born.

[Ryong]

Luck healing?

What, he's going to wake up in the most fortunate state of mind possible?

[Locke cole]

Light also deals with information.

I think what she's doing is healing away mental blocks in order to unleash all the knowledge of Hope locked away in Jake's mind (as evidenced by Ghost Dream Dirk).

It's a sort of loophole interpretation of Light, but I think it works.

[Revising Ocelot]

Or maybe he'll just stop speaking in old-timey tallyho by jingo jolly smashing jove old chap, which is clear evidence of some kind of stunted mental recursive loop.

[Karrrrrrrrrrrresche]

http://miraculoustang.tumblr.com/post/60603057568

[Arhra]

http://miraculoustang.tumblr.com/post/60603057568
They should have sent a poet.

[Loyal]

So... RIP, Arcanum?

[Arcanum]

Pretty sure I can live without my ass. Of course I will dearly miss my ass.

[Flarecobra]

Really Roxy? Is that what you're going with?

[Ryong]

6EfhAFA2yFE
this is what's going on atm.

[Menarker]

Or maybe he'll just stop speaking in old-timey tallyho by jingo jolly smashing jove old chap, which is clear evidence of some kind of stunted mental recursive loop.

"Tally-Ho!" Looks like that was too high an expectation. =3

[Flarecobra]

And we get an "Over 9000" joke.

[Loyal]

are you fucking kidding me with this shit hussie

[Bard The 5th LW]

Arquius don't you dare fucking finish that thought

[Revising Ocelot]

"Tally-Ho!" Looks like that was too high an expectation. =3

You know I only make predictions so they can be proven wrong.

John becomes Lord English.

[Bard The 5th LW]

Seems more Sepulchritude than English.

I think LE will be the result of Caliborn going Trickster Mode.

[Flarecobra]

...Ok, now I'm curious as to what brought on the "Hello Nurse" there.

[Amake]

http://i696.photobucket.com/albums/vv324/immortalpictures/gadzook.gif
It just occurred to me, what's a gadzook when it's at home?

Anyway I'm loving this mega-expression cavalcade, for reaction gif purposes.

[Aldurin]

Assphone is the best phone.

[Dracorion]

Okay, that does it. Homestuck is going full on DBZ.

Though, DBZ would've been much funnier if people said
http://i696.photobucket.com/albums/vv324/immortalpictures/gadzook.gif
when they powered up instead of screaming.

[Flarecobra]

And no one is doing anything regarding the forest fires.

[Loyal]

Well, it's finally happened. We literally have a spirit bomb in MSPA now.

[Flarecobra]

Oh come on. That one wasn't even old timey. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_Gipp#.22Win_just_one_for_the_Gipper.22)

[Revising Ocelot]

Since Jake is devolving into Talk Like A Pirate, I can only hope that he explodes in the next few panels.

[Flarecobra]

Um.. pirate?

[Bard The 5th LW]

Now I want Jade to get up and shout "YES WE CAN!"

[POS Industries]

Jade's noticeably less dark now, it seems.

[Flarecobra]

Yep, no more grim. Just bark.

[Aldurin]

Now I'm starting to understand how Snake felt all that time.

[POS Industries]

Ten boondollars says John retcons away her ever getting the ring.

[Dracorion]

Well, that was neither heroic nor just.

So maybe she's just effectively incapacitated.

[POS Industries]

If Vriska's death counted as just, I think it could be argued that Jade's death would, too. She had been corrupted and had to be killed to keep her from committing more evil. This could very easily be a permadeath situation for her.

[Amake]

I'm starting to think the heroic/just thing is so open to the universe's interpretation god tiers will always live or die depending only on if the story needs them alive or dead, and we'll never know if their death counts or not until it's too late to predict anything.

Which is really weird when you think about it. Hussie has created a world where the dramatic element of character deaths is replaced with the dramatic element of character quantum uncertainty death-or-life states. Technically those should be exactly half as dramatic, but the benefit is obviously you can kill-or-not characters over and over as long as you can keep the readers guessing.

So, Jade is for the moment para-dead, and I find that mildly shocking. Undercutting the drama with some much missed Sweet Bro & Hella Jeff is a nice touch too, furthering the confusion of what we're supposed to think.

[Locke cole]

It would be a convenient way for Jake to undo Aranea's plan without having to make any difficult decisions about the plan itself.

[Bard The 5th LW]

I dont think Hussie USUALLY plays the deaths for laughs when they're permanent, Feferi falling into the horn pile and Equius getting turned on aside. Kanaya getting a SB&HJ joke at least signaled a lack of permanence.

e: I think the better question to ask is how Aranea became telekinetic?

[Locke cole]

She's controlling Damaras from beyond the grave.

Same reason she was able to move the ship.

[Bard The 5th LW]

Nother question then: How are these Damaras controlling shit from another universe.

[Arhra]

Nother question then: How are these Damaras controlling shit from another universe.

With their minds.

[Karrrrrrrrrrrresche]

Nother question then: How are these Damaras controlling shit from another universe.

Same way Vriska made Jade sleep? Same way Aranea is controlling them?
Clearly universal boundaries are irrelevant.

[Bard The 5th LW]

Ill fully acknowledge this is an arbitrary point of my Suspension of Disbelief failing.

[Karrrrrrrrrrrresche]

Also?

FUCK ARANEA

[Arcanum]

Also?

FUCK ARANEA

Basically this.

C'mon John, time to put your retcon powers into action.

[Loyal]

I dunno, it might be something I ate this morning but I think I can feel the plot actually moving here.

[Ryong]

Hey remember when everyone hated how Jade was basically cheating her way through everything and was super smart and important?

S'funny how characterization works, huh?

[POS Industries]

Hey remember when everyone hated how Jade was basically cheating her way through everything and was super smart and important?

S'funny how characterization works, huh?
I don't think Odjn counts as everyone.

[Locke cole]

Ill fully acknowledge this is an arbitrary point of my Suspension of Disbelief failing.

Do recall that a lot of things can move into and out of the afterlife, since the afterlife is within the Furthest Ring, which is a location people can physically fly to.

[Revising Ocelot]

Short flash. Suggests that Dracorian's post was right. Initially.

EDIT: Also the most canon ship in the history of naval artillery.

[Amake]

I knew it! She died-or-didn't. Her superposition doesn't collapse until everyone's observed the result shut up.

[Locke cole]

Okay, how the hell does that follow?

I wonder if Aranea "healed" events to follow what she thinks is the proper outcome.

[Ryong]

I don't think Odjn counts as everyone.

No I'm pretty sure she was regarded as being a bit of a Mary Sue initially because she knew things no one else knew just because, she had an all-powerful dog and so on.

[Odjn]

I actually grew to like Jade as she fucked up more and more. She's still my least favorite of the original four.

[POS Industries]

No I'm pretty sure she was regarded as being a bit of a Mary Sue initially because she knew things no one else knew just because, she had an all-powerful dog and so on.
Was that ever here, though? Because I actively distance myself from most of the rest of the fandom for obvious reasons.

[Flarecobra]

Honk honk motherfucker.

[Ryong]

Was that ever here, though? Because I actively distance myself from most of the rest of the fandom for obvious reasons.

There may have been a bit of it here but I can't remember, honestly.

[Amake]

Honk honk motherfucker.
The exact moment I thought those exact words I tabbed over to the thread, and there was your post. It was hilarious.

[Loyal]

http://i.imgur.com/a4x2J7V.png

[Dracorion]

BRAIN DIRK.

YOU'RE OUR ONLY HOPE.

[POS Industries]

Man.

I miss the old Serket.

[Loyal]

Remember how Hussie introduced all the ancestor trolls to get people to shut up, and made every single one of them actually horrible people except like Aranea and Meenah?

Yeah, he just hadn't finished yet.

[POS Industries]

I would say that Meenah was pretty clearly established as being a pretty terrible person, as well, just not to the same ridiculous degree as a lot of the others.

As for Aranea, if anyone was actually shocked at her heel turn after her alternate self was shown in great expository detail to be the greatest supervillain of her age on Alternia, well... okay, I don't actually have a follow-up joke there. Just try to be less easily surprised, I guess.

[Locke cole]

I do believe those people took the idea that, raised in a different culture, she could be a different person.

And to be fair to them, she kinda was, for a while.

And then someone had to go and teach her the ways of doing terrible things to make a plan work. Congratulations, Vriska. You finally instilled someone with self-confidence.

Oh, and update, by the way. The saddest update.

[Arhra]

Huh, Jade doesn't LOOK dead?

Anyone taking bets on ruby slippers having previously undisclosed importance?

[Dracorion]

Or she's not really Jade.

[Locke cole]

Or, she doesn't know she's dead, yet.

Hm... What if Cherubquest never actually ended? ...nah. There's no way Aranea would plan that in her current state of mind.

[Loyal]

And now, back to your regularly-scheduled Clown Rodeo, already in progress.

[Flarecobra]

There's only one appropriate song for this. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gqg3l3r_DRI)

[Karrrrrrrrrrrresche]

It's a goddamn bedlam out there.

[Flarecobra]

And we get a variant of the infamous Ingo Montoya quote.

UPDATE EDIT: And now Ninja-Terezi.

[Arhra]

I don't know what exactly is going on, but I can only approve of this series of events.

[POS Industries]

Hey, it's those two!

Who are they, again? I'm sure they were in no way important to the plot.

[Flarecobra]

"Son of a Dick"... literally.

[Arhra]

Oh man, best twist.

GOOD DOG.

[Aldurin]

WILL THIS ENDLESS SLOG OF AN ACT FINALLY END?

FIND OUT NEXT TIME ON HOMESTUCK.

[POS Industries]

WILL THIS ENDLESS SLOG OF AN ACT FINALLY END?

FIND OUT NEXT TIME ON HOMESTUCK.
SPOILER ALERT: Nope.

[Arhra]

Oh hey, I just realised Callie is six letters long. It really is a trollsona!

[Locke cole]

Yeah, she said something about really stretching an interpretation of her name to make it fit troll naming conventions.

[mauve]

Wait... when did Jack and Godtier-PM-Dog-Angel-Thing start working together? I thought when we last left them, PM was trying to kill Jack.

Man, I dunno. I don't even know what's going on in this story anymore.

[Mr.Bookworm]

Yeah, she said something about really stretching an interpretation of her name to make it fit troll naming conventions.

It's Callie Ohpeee, which is the stretch.

Wait... when did Jack and Godtier-PM-Dog-Angel-Thing start working together? I thought when we last left them, PM was trying to kill Jack.

Man, I dunno. I don't even know what's going on in this story anymore.

His, uh, Bec-ish-ness was enough to make Jack stop being a psychotic murderer, so presumably it's enough to make PM team up with him to protect Jade.

[Loyal]

well that came outta nowhere.

[Flarecobra]

I love how the two of them are all "What the fuck is this shit?" there.

[Loyal]

LET THE SHIPPENING COMMENCE

He's a noble Knight protecting the timestream. She's a cruel Witch set to inherit an evil empire. Faced with scorn and peril from all angles, the young, star-crossed lovers find each other through a common cause, and immediately fall for one another. Despite the disapproval of their peers, they nonetheless seek to break down the barriers of life and death... and each others' hearts.

Starring Nicolas Cage.

[Locke cole]

She's a Maid.

[Loyal]

Get your goddamn facts out of my beautiful story you filthy charlatan. Can't you see I'm creating art here!

[POS Industries]

Yeah, the one that actually had any degree of narrative buildup or emotional resonance was with a Witch.

So naturally we have to slap him together with the Maid he's never once spoken to before.

[Revising Ocelot]

I thought we already established that Dave <3 Mayor? He can't two-time the Mayor. It's impossible.

[Flarecobra]

He could practice polygamy.

[Satan's Onion]

This post was always empty. You're imagining things.

[Locke cole]

Who?

Oh, that Fresca person?

[Krylo]

Get ye to the homestuck thread and never again let your face darken my door.

[Loyal]

Vriska's dead, DWI.

More to the point, we don't take kindly to necromancy around these parts, and an entire thread dedicated to it is just absurd. Take a week off while you think about your future as a contributing member of this community.