#1133: "Dun, Dun, Dunnnnnn!"

[Kurosen]

Thus was launch a thousand "OMG I CALLED IT" forum posts.

[Fiye]

Ass

[Meister]

Ass
^

[Bard The 5th LW]

WHAT A TWIST!!!

it still doesn't explain why he brought them back to life though

[Tev]

Wait wait wait.....we got you on record saying that's not true! Now anyone could be anyone! Everyone could be Bard!

[justice~!]

So I guess the *real* question is:

Is 434 (http://www.nuklearpower.com/2004/06/26/episode-434-wouldnt-you-like-to-know/) going to refer to Black Mage vs. Sarda, or Black Mage vs. Onion Kid??

DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUN

[blkguy]

Its Funny...Its like...I Love Brian, But at the same time i wanna kick him in the shins.....
o.o

[Fiye]

So I guess the *real* question is:

Is 434 (http://www.nuklearpower.com/2004/06/26/episode-434-wouldnt-you-like-to-know/) going to refer to Black Mage vs. Sarda, or Black Mage vs. Onion Kid??

DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUN

*Face Palm*

*Hard*

[Meister]

*Face Palm*

*Hard*
^

[Bard The 5th LW]

Wait wait wait.....we got you on record saying that's not true! Now anyone could be anyone! Everyone could be Bard!

No he clearly said that none of the Light Warriors were anyone else.

How could everyone be me? I don't exist, if everyone was me then no one would exists.


I'm also going to join in on the face palming. *Face palms*

[Kim]

I guess the Light Warriors are the end boss and OK gets to kill them...

FOR REVENGE!

[Si Civa]

Hey people!
Sometimes you can predict something right. Now shut the fuck up about that Brian changes his story because you guessed it "right".

[Kurosen]

it still doesn't explain why he brought them back to life though
I blame the limited amount of space available per page.

[Rejected Again]

Wait....WHAT? Brian, you sir, are a jerk who has made me laugh and hurt my brain at the same time....again.

[Fifthfiend]

Ass

^

^

[Sephiel]

So, at least we know why Sarda hates Black Mage, why he is a jackass, and many other things.
He saw BM's face... That explains all his deeds. Except his last deed.

[Meister]

I blame the limited amount of space available per page.
Scott McCloud would cry bitter tears if he read that.

... Brian, have you ever seen a film called Time Masters (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Les_Ma%C3%AEtres_du_temps)?

[Art of Hilt]

I love how, even though Sarda knows Black Mage, he still expects him to remember how much he screwed Onion Kid over.

[Lost in Time]

I like how he told himself that he's luggage.

[Fifthfiend]

Scott McCloud would cry bitter tears if he read that.

Well maybe he wants to keep things uniform for when 8-bit gets published.

http://i606.photobucket.com/albums/tt148/fifthfiend/emoticons/th_ermm.png

[LTGM]

Why didn't I see that coming!? It's so obvious. You are a master at manipulation.

[Meister]

how the fuck am I gonna reflect this in the wikipedia articles

you unbelievable jackass

[Tryxx]

I find this development pleasing. And I have to say, that in the end it was madness and not magic.

[Bard The 5th LW]

Why couldn't Sarda just erase BM from existence before he traumatized Onion Kid?

[Khy]

Because then there wouldn't be any joke.

Also, props.

[Tryxx]

Why couldn't Sarda just erase BM from existence before he traumatized Onion Kid?

That would make the whole concept of manipulative vengance and revenge through omnipotent devices rather boring, wouldn't it?

EDIT: I'm officially calling Sarda, "Rex Crockett". I don't think anyone helped me establish if that's Onion Kid's real name, but I can see Sarda looking like a Rex.

[Dracorion]

Goddamnit Red Mage.

Goddamnit Sarda.

You're an ass, Brian.

[Tev]

Why couldn't Sarda just erase BM from existence before he traumatized Onion Kid?Because then Black Mage wouldn't have traumatized Onion Kid and the boy would never have grown up to be Sarda, who in turn would never have erased Black Mage in the first place......paradoxes and all.

[shiney]

OMG I CALLED IT

[david_in_perth]

So I guess the *real* question is:

Is 434 (http://www.nuklearpower.com/2004/06/26/episode-434-wouldnt-you-like-to-know/) going to refer to Black Mage vs. Sarda, or Black Mage vs. Onion Kid??

DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUN

Actually, that referred to Black Mage vs. Red Mage (#1129 (http://www.nuklearpower.com/2009/05/19/episode-1129-there/)). The revelation of that sequence already happened, albehit missing a large chunk of the dialogue.

[Dracorion]

Because then Black Mage wouldn't have traumatized Onion Kid and the boy would never have grown up to be Sarda, who in turn would never have erased Black Mage in the first place......paradoxes and all.

If Sarda were all that righteous, he'd unmake Black Mage before being born anyway and then he'd live a long, happy, sane, hatredless life.

Onion Man's just an asshole. He's killed people too, y'know! He's still just a ten-year-old Onion Kid throwing a hissy fit over the deaths of his parents. He's just using Black Mage as an excuse to further his own evil ends.

[Bells]

If Sarda were all that righteous, he'd unmake Black Mage before being born anyway and then he'd live a long, happy, sane, hatredless life.

Onion Man's just an asshole. He's killed people too, y'know! He's still just a ten-year-old Onion Kid throwing a hissy fit over the deaths of his parents. He's just using Black Mage as an excuse to further his own evil ends.

That's....

....wait, what?

[Kazturkey]

Bets on whether black mage just says "oh, well then..." and tendrils onion kid in the face?

[LTGM]

Whoever said Sarda was righteous?

[Codemonkey85]

Wow. I don't know what to say.

Other than I hate Brian, of course.

That aside, I still can't wait to see how WM and "nothing good can come of this" (http://www.nuklearpower.com/2004/12/23/episode-495-the-answer-is-eight/) plays in, not to mention the other loose ends (orbs?). There's still more exposition on the way.

Hey, one other thing... why did Sarda bother to try and explain to BM what it meant to care (k'air?) about something (http://www.nuklearpower.com/2004/05/29/episode-423-not-so-apt-pupil/), if he had already given up on him as a lost cause?

[Loyal]

I love how, even though Sarda knows Black Mage, he still expects him to remember how much he screwed Onion Kid over.To be fair, it was mostly coincidence in that Black Mage killed people and they just happened to be Sarda's loving parents/guardians.

Considering how often he kills people, statistically speaking, as Sarda accumulates more parents/guardians, the likelihood of BM murdering people who identify as "Onion Kid's Parents" approaches one.

[Meister]

Hmm. Right now grown-up Sarda himself fulfills the guardian role. He's as good as dead.

Anyone who proposed this as a theory, were you actually serious or just trying to highlight how silly theories around here could get?

[tacticslion]

OMG I CALLED IT

Geeze that's really annoying. Sheesh. It's almost as bad as those people (http://forum.nuklearpower.com/showpost.php?p=932037&postcount=161) who write mini novelettes (http://forum.nuklearpower.com/showpost.php?p=931952&postcount=156) and lectoral thesis (http://forum.nuklearpower.com/showpost.php?p=931107&postcount=106) on nothing but a silly web comic. I mean, really.

On a completely unrelated note that definately has nothing to do with this comic, I am so very increadibly happy right about now. Yay! :whee:

Edit:
Wow. I don't know what to say.

Other than I hate Brian, of course.


Ooh, ooh, my turn next? Um, I'll say: Brian is a nincompoop! Yeah! Ride the hate-train baby!


Hey, one other thing... why did Sarda bother to try and explain to BM what it meant to care (k'air?) about something (http://www.nuklearpower.com/2004/05/29/episode-423-not-so-apt-pupil/), if he had already given up on him as a lost cause?

Probably because he hadn't. Or at least not in a real way. Sarda has explained that he has total consciousness across time, but it's also been proven that he can be surprised or taken off guard. It's because he has total consciousness across all of his (current) time, and not across all time and existance.

A further possibility, as a limited, finite creature ("omnipotent" he may be, but he still needs his lunch like the rest of this), there's probably only so much of his consciousness he can access at a time (making it kind of a super-consciousness to his own consciousness) so he can't really see everything simultaneously, even though he does. Think a bunch of stuff that's put into a funnel. There's too much to pass through the funnel at all times, so it goes through slowly.

Finally, there's the concept that Sarda is simultaneously infinite in his time-loop essence (eternal in that way) but finite in the actions he can take within the time loop (the loop is circular, closed, and predestined) so that he has to do/say/think the things that (already have) happened in order for them to happen. Kind of like Dr. Manhattan. He's got a destiny to fulfill and he's going to whether he likes it or not. Does he act surprised? Sure. But ultimately that's his finite (physical) manifestation, not his True Self. His True Self was fully aware of this the whole time.

[Arrekusu]

You'd think a Wizard who sees all things through time would notice that.

Nope.

[justice~!]

No he clearly said that none of the Light Warriors were anyone else.

How could everyone be me? I don't exist, if everyone was me then no one would exists.


I'm also going to join in on the face palming. *Face palms*

I guaranteed you I'd be making this prediction every couple of comics or so until it happens!! This should not be shocking in the slightest!!!

(Yes, I know about #1129, I made this promise *after* it came out)

[tshadowdrag]

Hmm. Right now grown-up Sarda himself fulfills the guardian role. He's as good as dead.

I agree .

I also think that will be further cemented Sarda revealed his weakness now. The simple fact of where the paradoxes fit in to the whole story. I'm calling Sarda's going to be absorbed by Onion Kid or he's going to absorb something else.

We just need their reality broken like Brian did to ours, he's the jackass. :P

[justice~!]

Or they just kill Onion Kid.

[Si Civa]

You'd think a Wizard who sees all things through time would notice that.

Nope.

Sarda doesn't see trough the time. He just tries to remember what he saw when he was little brat.

If Sarda isn't bluffing now, of course, as Brian can just be playing with our minds again. :(

[Codemonkey85]

Dear Brian,

It's time to admit that we, the audience (and especially the forumites) of 8-Bit Theater have been writing the story ourselves all this time, in the form of "predictions" about the "story" of your "comic".

So when will you split with us our due income that is the money maker of 8-Bit Theater?

On another note, I keep laughing to myself about the time Ranger was about to kill Onion Kid by mistake and OK said "I guess I ran out of parents" (http://www.nuklearpower.com/2009/01/29/episode-1088-misfire/). It's even funnier now.

EDIT: As is the fact that Sarda is even a jackass to himself (http://www.nuklearpower.com/2009/02/03/episode-1090-not-sunny-d/).

[Panthera]

Well, Sarda's willingness to send them to die suddenly makes sense because he knows they'll live, and I bet the Light Warriors have something to do with sending OK into the past/turning him into Sarda, so that's why he revived Thief and Fighter.

Wonder what happened to White Mage though.

[CopperNinja]

I find it funny that sarda pretty much told us he was onion kid when he
said no that'd be stupid to onion kid saying am i dead.

[russianreversal]

Y'know what? I think this is great. Brian is basically just trolling the fuck out of EVERYONE right now, and everyone's taking the bait.

...I wanna be a successful webcomic creator now. :(

[Locke cole]

Heh. Y'know it's pretty obvious if you think about it. Onion Kid is the starting job for FFIII, and Sage is the absolute strongest casting class in FFIII. Clearly, Sarda went to Eureka somewhere along the line.

[Si Civa]

Heh. Y'know it's pretty obvious if you think about it. Onion Kid is the starting job for FFIII, and Sage is the absolute strongest casting class in FFIII. Clearly, Sarda went to Eureka somewhere along the line.

OMG BRIAN IS GOING CONTINUE 8-BIT THEATRE BY DOING FFIII NEXT!

[Bard The 5th LW]

Or they just kill Onion Kid.

that would seem to solve all of the problems

[russianreversal]

Or they just kill Onion Kid. From what I gather, Sarda's alter reality as he sees fit spell might give them a little trouble in that regard.

WAAAAAAAIIIIIT a second here, did you just give Sarda a purpose and a reason?! Oh, it's on now.

[Lord Setheris]

Sarda is a level 99 onion kid.

And if you've seen the stats of a level 99 onion kid...
You know, as I do, that even red mage is totally out of league.

[A Zarkin' Frood]

I'm not going to say I called it, because I didn't.
But it's just not surprising anymore. Which makes RM's dunning all the better.

[Phage Legionaire]

Clearly Sarda is lying and Onion Kid is actually a young Black Mage, thus when BM tries to kill OK with tendrils of black death...

Well, you know.

[OverNineThousand89]

Aw, I fucking knew it.

Way to go, Brian. All hail the impotent jackass of webcomics.

[BigDemonicBunny]

Sarda is the ONION KID?
Ok, that was definitely a surprise to me.

Unless he isn't and is just being an ass. Again.
In which case it's definitely not a surprise.


Anyway, if 8-bit theatre is a gargantuan timeloop with Sarda trying to change reality to something different than what he remembers but is in fact the CAUSE of the death of all his adoptive parents (since it's his quests that have led the light warriors to various areas where they killed the onion kids parents) it's pretty hardcore.
Why is it pretty hardcore? Because it means that Reality is a greater jackass than Sarda and the near omnipotent wizard (who is immortal, the wizard who did it and can change reality at a whim) is unable to break the timeloop, the thing that launched his quest for omnipotence and his purpose in life.

[Kurosen]

Aw, I fucking knew it.

Way to go, Brian. All hail the impotent jackass of webcomics.
I can't tell if you mean Sarda and omnipotent or if you meant to insult me :D

[Unprodigy]

Sarda has given himself a purpose and humanised himself.

He's dead meat.

[Shirosen]

I like how he told himself that he's luggage.

He was talking about the Orbs (http://www.nuklearpower.com/2009/04/21/episode-1119-talk-amongst-yourselves/).

[Fifthfiend]

I can't tell if you mean Sarda and omnipotent or if you meant to insult me :D

It could be an incisive commentary on how Sarda, for all of his magical power, was nonetheless impotent to prevent his own parent's deaths and personal tragedies.

...No, he was probably just insulting you.

[OverNineThousand89]

I can't tell if you mean Sarda and omnipotent or if you meant to insult me :D

Well, if Sarda is the webcomic incarnation of you, then all of the above (minus the omnipotent part).

[Dismas]

Wild Prediction Time: An event which could occur is BM finally outsmarting Sarda in some way (or perhaps RM could do it), resulting in the death of the Onion Kid which would then negate Sarda's exsistance.

Rule #1 of Time Travel - Don't alter the past.
Rule #2 (related to #1) - Protect your ancestors to protect your exsistance.

[Regulus Tera]

I'm suddenly reminded of Code Geass.

[waw]

well...
oh crap

[Si Civa]

Wild Prediction Time:

Here's wild prediction for ya.
Garland kills Sarda by backstabbing him!

[Kim]

I'm suddenly reminded of Code Geass.

I'm not, and that makes me happy.

[Link_991]

I can't believe the crazy people were right

[Kerensky287]

I'm going to start laughing now.

I don't know if I'll ever stop.

[OverNineThousand89]

I'm suddenly reminded of Code Geass.

The "all hail" part, right?

Seriously, I found a motivator that sums up why everyone should fucking watch that show:

http://i290.photobucket.com/albums/ll275/1337Cyndic2/poster38958048ht1.jpg

[Magic_Marker]

Why do I keep coming to this thread? Much less this COMIC!!

[Arrekusu]

Mm mmm Fried sage.

[Charm]

so lemme get this straight... if BM kills Onion Kid now, Sarda wouldn't instantly go poof cos of temporal rule #13?

[Lost in Time]

He was talking about the Orbs (http://www.nuklearpower.com/2009/04/21/episode-1119-talk-amongst-yourselves/).

Meh, I always thought he was just saying that in a light-hearted tone. "No, of course you're not. ....Luggage." But whatev's.

[Sliths]

Haha, now Onion Kid reminds me of that one character from Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy. I don't remember his name(did he have one?) but basically, he died at the hands of the main character, and every time he was reincarnated into a different life form it somehow ended up being killed by the main character. From life to life, he was a house plant, a fly, wildlife, etc... Always appearing in a time or place to be killed by Arthur Dent.

Until eventually he came back as a MONSTER, and created a TEMPLE OF HATE to lure in and kill Arthur.

Sound familliar?

[Bard The 5th LW]

Haha, now Onion Kid reminds me of that one character from Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy. I don't remember his name(did he have one?) but basically, he died at the hands of the main character, and every time he was reincarnated into a different life form it somehow ended up being killed by the main character. From life to life, he was a house plant, a fly, wildlife, etc... Always appearing in a time or place to be killed by Arthur Dent.

Until eventually he came back as a MONSTER, and created a TEMPLE OF HATE to lure in and kill Arthur.

Sound familliar?

LOL, that was one of the funniest things to ever happen in that series!

[Rubicante]

Well, haven't read all the posts yet, but lemme say that I love this one.

[Sliths]

http://www.nuklearpower.com/2001/06/11/episode-041-it-just-got-weird-in-survivor-8-bit-style-part-6/


^^Comic where BM first created Sarda, in case anyone is lazy.

[Si Civa]

And couple comics later.. Of damn..
Brian, that damn jerk. (http://www.nuklearpower.com/2001/06/18/episode-044-what-the-hell-just-happened-in-survivor-8-bit-style-part-9/)

[Regulus Tera]

The "all hail" part, right?

Seriously, I found a motivator that sums up why everyone should fucking watch that show:

It wasn't a compliment. More like a BRIAN YOU ARE AN ARSE. :/

[shiney]

I like the bit how because of Sarda sending the Light Warriors on quests all around the world to get the orbs, BM kept re-encountering Sarda's successive adoptive parents, and murdering them. It both creates Sarda's own downfall, but also ensures his eventual existence/omnipotence. He's destroying and creating himself in each action.

[Fifthfiend]

It wasn't a compliment. More like a BRIAN YOU ARE AN ARSE. :/

It was a pretty sweet burn before Ninesy ruined it.

[Heresy488]

Just wanted to point something out. What really happened was, a character important to the plot of the strip (even if he's a minor character of the strip) said he is the older version of a character completely meaningless to the strip and plot, and he will now get revenge for past crimes done unto him.

The "twist" only comes in that Onion Kid was easily forgettable. He didn't matter. It was unexpected because the writer so cunningly made a character no one cared about. This kind of storytelling just doesn't impress me.



Is the moral of the story that you should be nice to everyone all the time, because no one can predict how events will unfold? Wow, that's original. This story will break the mold. Eight years in the making, I was hoping the story would deliver something more profound just to justify it's own longevity.

The delivery of this "revelation" (I don't think anyone really cares, it doesn't matter who Onion Kid grows up to be) would have been better had there been foreshadowing that the Light Warriors would have their comeuppance, or that there would be negative consequences to their actions.

But the story sabotages itself by making the focus of the story on characters who are willing to endure hardship so long as they can fulfill their childish bully mentality wherever they go. Contemporary punishment philosophies make use of shame, incapacitation, and suffering. Well, the Light Warriors are shameless, have the ability (or the luck) to circumvent any incarceration (or can evade having their abilities removed), and are unphased by suffering.

So where is the salvation? The Light Warriors aren't even anti-heroes, and they aren't the villains either. This story, while entertaining in a sideways kind of way, is completely pointless. The main characters are not sympathetic and the god-being who will balance the universe is just as twisted as they are. THERE WERE genuine fate entities in the story, but somehow they were impotent.


This whole story is completely pointless. It doesn't proliferate modern values, it doesn't justify it's own existence, this story (when contrasted with other stories) is a retard-baby with a machine gun, begging to not be judged for the atrocities it has committed. "Take me at face-value and have a good time."

"Yes, except you're insane and the stories told are absurd."

[LTGM]

Yes but that's really the joke of the story. It leads you along, wanting to make you believe it has a point or a justification and then at the end you realize that you've been following it for 8 years, waiting for a meaning that you'll never get. The joke's on you.

[Kim]

Thanks for posting that Heresy. I needed a good laugh.

[Heresy488]

Reminds me of his damn book that I suffered through. At least that sucker had a last page. AND an ending. AND a turnaround of the main character which explained his prior weirdness, leading him to become a better hero.

The blood was a little graphic though.

[UndrDog]

I'm still failing to see how RM is being roped in as a bad guy. Sure he's not 100% virtuous, but he's not anything like Thief or BM.

But anyway I'm still confused. Of course what BM did to Onion Kid could fester in his mind over the years and make him insane. But as of right now he's still a nice kid. I'unno, it just seems to me more has to be done to turn him into some crazy. I mean it makes sense for Sarda to be a jerk to the Light Warriors. But why is he mean to WM who has protected and healed him? And the "other" warriors? I mean they could've been dealt with in a less murderous fashion.

[Regulus Tera]

Is the moral of the story that you should be nice to everyone all the time, because no one can predict how events will unfold? Wow, that's original. This story will break the mold. Eight years in the making, I was hoping the story would deliver something more profound just to justify it's own longevity.

[...]

This whole story is completely pointless. It doesn't proliferate modern values, it doesn't justify it's own existence, this story (when contrasted with other stories) is a retard-baby with a machine gun, begging to not be judged for the atrocities it has committed. "Take me at face-value and have a good time."

"Yes, except you're insane and the stories told are absurd."

http://i43.tinypic.com/sllbaf.gif

[Panthera]

He's mean to WM because she took the universe away from him, so he decided to teleport her to a pocket dimension as soon as he met her. That whole ruining his life's ambition thing trumps the fact she was nice to him.

[stefan]

I'm still failing to see how RM is being roped in as a bad guy. Sure he's not 100% virtuous, but he's not anything like Thief or BM.


I think you forgot the bit where he disassembled chocobos with a chainsaw and grafted them back together into a mound of agonized flesh that yearns for death.

[The Wizard Who Did It]

Is the moral of the story that you should be nice to everyone all the time, because no one can predict how events will unfold?
Dear god man, you're trying to come up with a moral before the story is even done? We don't even know (for sure) if we've really reached the climax yet. How the hell can you even begin talking about "the moral of the story"!

So where is the salvation?
Maybe it's coming, maybe it's not. The story isn't done yet.

Also, it isn't necessary for salvation to be reached to have a good story. I'm not sure how I can explain this, other than saying that being forced to fit the morals you're teaching into a mold makes most of the story telling process useless.
Eight years in the making, I was hoping the story would deliver something more profound just to justify it's own longevity.
Why? Longevity has almost nothing to do with how profound something is. Lord of the Rings and The Count of Monte Cristo aren't particularly profound, as much as they are lengthy. On the other end of the spectrum, there exists good ol' Heart of Darkness!

[Sliths]

Heresy: A story doesn't have to fall into some classical blueprint to be good. The "morale" of the story(if there is one) isn't known yet because it isn't done. This was just a plot twist.

[tacticslion]

http://i43.tinypic.com/sllbaf.gif

Word.

Heresy488, you pointed out the purpose of the comic in your own post. The point is "Hah-hah, this is funny! Enjoy!" That's all there has been. Sure there are serious moments, but that makes the story interesting. You don't like: ok! Truly, we can't tell if there is a moral or any real purpose to the comic until after it's over. Currently, yes, there is no moral justification. But there's a fine comedic one.

Also, it may at some point or another have a relatively serious and/or subversive undertones because Brian want to do something original which is technically impossible, but he can at least do something we haven't seen someone do before or seen only very rarely, which is almost - if not just - as good. Not your cup'o'tea, but that's ok. It's not really trying to be. Brian's mentioned that quite a few times.

And: which book? I felt similarly about the Light Ages - guh that one sucked horribly.

Edit: Ninja'd by The Wizard Who Did It! It is his name after all. And also by Sliths!

[Dr. Casey]

... holy shit.

I didn't even begin to call that.

Holy fucking shit.

This does make Sarda slightly more sympathetic, I must admit. At least he's not a complete jackass for no reason. Stupid Black Mage. If he hadn't been such a dick back in Corneria, there would still be 36 hours to a day.


Yes but that's really the joke of the story. It leads you along, wanting to make you believe it has a point or a justification and then at the end you realize that you've been following it for 8 years, waiting for a meaning that you'll never get. The joke's on you.


asdf;;;;

Okay, this is something that's been annoying me lately. When, exactly, did Brian gain the reputation of being a master prankster/magnificent bastard that pulls jokes on the audience every other strip? Let's make a list of all the jokes he's pulled on us.

- White Mage bringing Black Belt back to life.
- Retroactively changing Thief's ninja outfit from red to black.
- The fake ending in 1071 or 1072 or whatever.
- The anticlimatic resolution to the 'showdown' between Black Mage and the other Light Warriors.

I'm sure there's a few others, but the expanded/complete list would maybe only double the size of what I've already composed. I just think the whole "Brian is a troll he constantly plays jokes on the audience he's such a bastard you can't trust a thing he ever says" thing is really dumb, because for the most part 8-Bit has always played out like a completely normal story, ie. one with a minimal amount of trolling the audience.

[LTGM]

I think the book he was referring to was Nuklear Age. Which, in my opinion, is amazing! It's one of the few books i've read recently that actually used the medium to its fullest.

[Neni]

You know why this is such a great twist?!
Because it was actually one of the most popluar theories here, so nobody would have thought, that Brian would make it actually happen!

But he did!

OK, now I wanna see time paradoxes of some sort!

And something bard-related would be funny as well! XD

[UndrDog]

I think you forgot the bit where he disassembled chocobos with a chainsaw and grafted them back together into a mound of agonized flesh that yearns for death.

I FORGET NOTHING!

Oh come on! He HELPED chocobos by forwarding their evolutionary line beyond that of any of their dietary rivals or predators! Obviously when you speed up evolution you speed up the side effects of evolution. That being natural selection.

[Mirai Gen]

why is Sarda's crotch talking

[shiney]

UndrDog, you make a worthy companion to RM himself.

[Neni]

why is Sarda's crotch talking

Because Brian lettered this comic as quickly as possible, to get it up as soon as possible, so we could post as much nonsense as possible so he got as much funny stuff to read for himself as possible.

If that's possible.

[OverNineThousand89]

It was a pretty sweet burn before Ninesy ruined it.

Is... is that my nickname now? Great, now I'm obligated to sig it.

[Wareya]

Wait wait wait... Didn't Garland in the original FF1 get screwed over by the light warriors, go back in time, and plan the demise of the light warriors? Isn't that what Sarda did(essentially)? Also, why haven't they gone back in time yet? Why does Brian keep feeding us red herring?

In before time loop!

[Dracorion]

why is Sarda's crotch talking

Because his crotch is Onion Kid.

Because Brian hasn't made the readers want to claw out our own eyes in a while.

[Lost in Time]

To be fair, Garland promised to knock them all down before getting his ass kicked. Sarda was just an innocent kid walking along when his life got ruined.

Also Brian said no to the time loop.

[Fifthfiend]

This story, while entertaining in a sideways kind of way, is completely pointless.

SEIL

THAT PENNY-ARCADE COMIC

YOU KNOW THE ONE I MEAN

THIS IS YOUR HOUR

[Xshu]

Okay, this is something that's been annoying me lately. When, exactly, did Brian gain the reputation of being a master prankster/magnificent bastard that pulls jokes on the audience every other strip? Let's make a list of all the jokes he's pulled on us.

Damn it, now I have to go make a list!

[Kim]

Let's make a list of all the jokes he's pulled on us.

Let's not and at least pretend we have lives.

[Neni]

Let's not and at least pretend we have lives.

Live? How do you pronaunce that?

[Fiye]

Because his crotch is Onion Kid.

Because Brian hasn't made the readers want to claw out our own eyes in a while.

No, I have a feeling a parasite attached itself to Onion kid's crotch.

I mean, there has to be a reason Sarda is billions of years old!

Kinda of like the Goa'uld.

[Neni]

No, I have a feeling a parasite attached itself to Onion kid's crotch.

I mean, there has to be a reason Sarda is billions of years old!

Kinda of like the Goa'uld.

So Sarda is Onion Kid, posessed by a crotch-biting wannabe-egyptian-god?

[Fiye]

So Sarda is Onion Kid, posessed by a crotch-biting wannabe-egyptian-god?

That wiggles, squirms, and makes hissing noises.

[Dr. Casey]

Let's not and at least pretend we have lives.

Don't worry, the complete list only took about 20 seconds to type. Our work is done.

[voodooKobra]

Well, I'll be damned. Sarda is OK. Not only is Sarda OK, he's actually quite spiffy. Also, Onion Kid.

[UndrDog]

UndrDog, you make a worthy companion to RM himself.

That's the greatest thing anybody's ever said to me ever. New Sig, coming up!

Oh, and yeah, duh.

[krogothwolf]

In defense to black mage, he didn't mean to kill all of his parents some where kinda, slightly, sorta accidental deaths...maybe.

[Neni]

In defense to black mage, he didn't mean to kill all of his parents some where kinda, slightly, sorta accidental deaths...maybe.

Yeah, because murder and homocide are always accidents.

[TheSparrow]

I think you forgot the bit where he disassembled chocobos with a chainsaw and grafted them back together into a mound of agonized flesh that yearns for death.

Well, yes, but he didnt do that for the pleasure of doing it. He did it in the name of scientific advancement. And he was stupid enough to think "it likes what I did."

RM has routinely argued BM and Thief out of outright murder and destruction to use simple lying instead. He just isnt that evil. He definately isnt GOOD. But evil he aint.

[Particleman]

So now I have to ask whether this was planned from the beginning, or whether it's something Brian came up with halfway through the story?

[Waiting for snark]

This is why I love reading Brian's works for the payoffs that take years to produce
the goods.:)

[POS Industries]

moral of the story
http://i119.photobucket.com/albums/o159/posindustries/facepalm/data.jpg

[krogothwolf]

But isn't everyone presumed innocent instead of guilty? No court of law has convicted him of those crimes yet...maybe due to no witness surviving and any authority figure who may of seen it being dead too. But still some where merely enviromental reactions to his other homicidal in devours. Like pushing guy out of airlock who happened to kill the new rich parents. And dIt wasn't BM's fault the OK's family moved to Onrac just before it got destroyed. He's a victim of circumstance.

[UndrDog]

RM has routinely argued BM and Thief out of outright murder and destruction to use simple lying instead. He just isnt that evil. He definately isnt GOOD. But evil he aint.

Exactly. RM is true to who he is. And that's a PERFECT mix of WM and BM. Totally not deserving the label bestowed upon him by Sarda. Especially since Thief and BM had to actually go out of their way to make sure RM didn't know what they were doing.

Also Sarda's the real dork here. Thinking that I approved of the RM = Sarda theory at one point makes me sick. Seriously, Sarda cries about all the hardships forced on his childhood by the main characters when it was him himself that put them on the path that they were on. With the exception of the initial BM assault on Onion Kid, it could've all been avoiding if Sarda did nothing. And what's worse? HE KNEW THIS WOULD HAPPEN!

[Questionmarktarius]

http://www.nuklearpower.com/2001/06/22/episode-046-this-one-is-called-survivor-8-bit-style-part-11/

This isn't going to be pretty.

[Kurosen]

So now I have to ask whether this was planned from the beginning, or whether it's something Brian came up with halfway through the story?
Not from the "beginning", but extremely early. Possibly shortly after the very first Sarda appearance when he ruined the "good" Light Warriors to make a sammich.

[Maugchief]

In further defense of BM, it wasn't his fault for breaking Onion Kid's mind in the first place. Onion Kid walked into BM because he wasn't watching where he was going. BM even warned him not to look at him and is actually the innocent (in this context only) bystander in this story.

This isn't so much a prediction as much as my understanding of the plot so far: Onion Kid's mind was broken from his encounter with BM, hence how he has managed to remain relatively chipper and upbeat despite the horrors he's seen. BM's murdering of Onion Kid's families on multiple occasions have all been 'coincidences' engineered by Sarda to further warp Onion Kid's mind to the point he is so insane that he can change reality. Kinda like Black Belt's ability to warp reality by his extreme lack of directional skills. (http://www.nuklearpower.com/2002/04/08/episode-136-double-black-belt-trouble/)

Of course, this is all based on the assumption that Sarda isn't just being a jerk again, and we all know what assuming does.

[krogothwolf]

Also Sarda's the real dork here. Thinking that I approved of the RM = Sarda theory at one point makes me sick. Seriously, Sarda cries about all the hardships forced on his childhood by the main characters when it was him himself that put them on the path that they were on. With the exception of the initial BM assault on Onion Kid, it could've all been avoiding if Sarda did nothing. And what's worse? HE KNEW THIS WOULD HAPPEN!

Yes but if Sarda had changed all that he would not have become the all powerful figure he is and would be stuck in a Terminator loop, and no one wants that at all. You really think he would give up all his power just so he doesn't live out his horrid childhood. He shouldn't complain about it, but if I were Sarda I'd still let it happen so I could have near omnipotent power.

[krogothwolf]

Of course, this is all based on the assumption that Sarda isn't just being a jerk again, and we all know what assuming does.

No, Sarda's a Jerk plain and simple. He killed Ranger's wife and him for no good reason then that they pretty much annoyed him. I'm pretty sure he didn't really engineer any of the murdered family. He just didn't do anything to stop him because he's a jerk who wants power. It's all Sarda's fault. BM's the innocent homicidal maniac in this case.

[UndrDog]

The whole thing is messed up though. Without engineering the past he would never have become capable of going back to the past to engineer it. Meaning the past he experienced first hand can not be the past Onion Kid has experienced during this story. Or if it is, there's an instance of Sarda's life that didn't.

Also, Sarda sent WM, a person who despises BM, to the beginning of the Universe. Which was at a very impressionable stage of it's life. In doing this, Sarda may've given the Universe an unfair dislike for BM. This causes everything in BM's life to suck. This torment causes BM to become an evil sociopath. Which in turn causes Sarda's traumatic childhood.

[SoulBrother]

Long, long, long, long time reader of 8-bit and never felt like posting here to be completely honest. But then the other day I looked on the forum to see how smart people are here and saw a theory that onion kid is sarda. I immediately left. Unfortunately this crazy strip happened and here I am. Brian is a mad genius and is by far the most diabolical, genius, well thought out writer of all time and is so sadistic that I just now came to the conclusion that he is all the light warriors combined.

Thief-insane cunning and ability to plan out everything and do stuff that just can't happen.
Red Mage- Rewrites the own laws he created just to disobey them
Black Mage the ability to kill. I say kill in the sense that he has taken away our very lifes for us thinking about a comedic comic strip. Plus he is sadistic
Fighter - Random moments of pure genius that surpasses the intelligence of even the smartest man, and then throws in a fart joke.

[krogothwolf]

The whole thing is messed up though. Without engineering the past he would never have become capable of going back to the past to engineer it. Meaning the past he experienced first hand can not be the past Onion Kid has experienced during this story. Or if it is, there's an instance of Sarda's life that didn't.

Great, now you've Terminatered it, I hope you're happy! Actually its probably due to something (ie the orbs) throwing OK back into time so he could become an immortal near-omnipotent being so therefor he did live through that childhood. Except the first time.....then who would have thrown him back into time the first time....damn time paradoxes!

[The Argent Lord]

The whole thing is messed up though. Without engineering the past he would never have become capable of going back to the past to engineer it. Meaning the past he experienced first hand can not be the past Onion Kid has experienced during this story. Or if it is, there's an instance of Sarda's life that didn't.

Unless it's a stable time loop. There's no need for any multiple iterations of Sarda's life. He is born, has his life fucked up, travels back in time, and fucks his younger self's life up.

[krogothwolf]

Unless it's a stable time loop. There's no need for any multiple iterations of Sarda's life. He is born, has his life fucked up, travels back in time, and fucks his younger self's life up.

There would theoretically have to be 2 iterations of his life because during the first one Sarda wasn't around to do some of the things he did. Due to Sarda not being around it would require a different way for OK to get his powers and then Sarda just kept making sure he got those powers so there would only be 2 possible iterations of Sarda's life.

[UndrDog]

Unless it's a stable time loop. There's no need for any multiple iterations of Sarda's life. He is born, has his life fucked up, travels back in time, and fucks his younger self's life up.

But then has the nerve to whine about it? No matter how I look at it, he's a dork to me. /holds chin and nods


but this is what I actually wanted people to read in my post. lol
Also, Sarda sent WM, a person who despises BM, to the beginning of the Universe. Which was at a very impressionable stage of it's life. In doing this, Sarda may've given the Universe an unfair dislike for BM. This causes everything in BM's life to suck. This torment causes BM to become an evil sociopath. Which in turn causes Sarda's traumatic childhood.

[Solid Snake]

Not from the "beginning", but extremely early. Possibly shortly after the very first Sarda appearance when he ruined the "good" Light Warriors to make a sammich.

Honestly, having begun reading through the archives the moment after reading #1133? If you had said you'd planned the Sarda / Onion Kid revelation from the very beginning, I'd have believed you. Even in BM and Onion Kid's very first encounter, there's a surprising amount of potential foreshadowing you packed in there. And the perfect kind of foreshadowing, too...the kind that makes perfect sense only after the fact. Seriously, I'd have never guessed Sarda's true identity, but once it was revealed, it makes sense. Bravo.

[Nuklear Waste]

Also Sarda's the real dork here. Thinking that I approved of the RM = Sarda theory at one point makes me sick. Seriously, Sarda cries about all the hardships forced on his childhood by the main characters when it was him himself that put them on the path that they were on. With the exception of the initial BM assault on Onion Kid, it could've all been avoiding if Sarda did nothing. And what's worse? HE KNEW THIS WOULD HAPPEN!
The murder of his first parents happened before they met Sarda, though.

I do wonder if, like someone said, the whole "the Light Warriors screw someone over in the beginning of the adventure, thus causing them to become super powerful and causing a cycle of wrath and the whole story to begin" similarities between Garland of FF1 and Sarda of 8-bit are intentional.

[Kurosen]

There would theoretically have to be 2 iterations of his life because during the first one Sarda wasn't around to do some of the things he did. Due to Sarda not being around it would require a different way for OK to get his powers and then Sarda just kept making sure he got those powers so there would only be 2 possible iterations of Sarda's life.
Short answer: no.

Long answer: I'm not sure what else I can say as the explanation may very well be the primary topic of an upcoming comic.

[01d55]

Seriously, I'd have never guessed Sarda's true identity, but once it was revealed, it makes sense. Bravo.

Really? Not even after like a million other people guessed it?

I mean I could see you saying "gee I'd discounted all those guys who said this guy was that guy as crazy people, but who's laughing now?" but instead I see you and a few others acting like this is an idea they've never heard of before.

PS: I discounted all those guys who said Onion Kid was Sarda as crazy people, but who's laughing now?

[The Argent Lord]

There would theoretically have to be 2 iterations of his life because during the first one Sarda wasn't around to do some of the things he did. Due to Sarda not being around it would require a different way for OK to get his powers and then Sarda just kept making sure he got those powers so there would only be 2 possible iterations of Sarda's life.
No, in a stable time loop, all the time travel is self-contained. Someone watching the universe develop THE VERY FIRST TIME would see a chick in white robes appear, followed by some guy calling himself Sarda. Chick leaves, Sarda spends eons on his moustache. Lots of shit happens, none of it relevant. Onion Kid is born. Terrible things happen to him, indirectly due to Sarda. Onion Kid grows up, and teleports to the beginning of the universe. More shit happens, again irrelevant, until the end of the universe.

Wow, I was trying to explain simply, but that really wasn't. I hope I was clear enough, the idea is really simple in my head, but I tend to be bad at description.
But then has the nerve to whine about it? No matter how I look at it, he's a dork to me. /holds chin and nods
This point is more legitimate. However, he didn't MAKE them do the murdering and such. His point that they kill lots of stuff and are pretty unpleasant people is, in fact, accurate regardless. He's not necessarily whining, just making a point.

[Kurosen]

PS: I discounted all those guys who said Onion Kid was Sarda as crazy people, but who's laughing now?
You'll note how incredibly silent I was on that topic every time it came up :)

I do hope this revelation has some effect on the whole "don't guess it or it won't come true" myth.

[UndrDog]

The murder of his first parents happened before they met Sarda, though.

I do wonder if, like someone said, the whole "the Light Warriors screw someone over in the beginning of the adventure, thus causing them to become super powerful and causing a cycle of wrath and the whole story to begin" similarities between Garland of FF1 and Sarda of 8-bit are intentional.

Ah, yeah. But still, I've seen worse. >_>

Also I'm pretty sure it is. In fact, Garland's involvement in this story may've been specifically to make people toss this specific plot device aside. Still, with Sarda's ability to do anything, there must be something very specific he needs our cast of "heroes" to do. Something that:

Sarda can't do.
Will kill Fighter.
Isn't strictly revenge.
Requires the abilities they did not have before they started their quest.

Otherwise he'd just kill off BM, Thief, and RM and do whatever it is himself.


This point is more legitimate. However, he didn't MAKE them do the murdering and such. His point that they kill lots of stuff and are pretty unpleasant people is, in fact, accurate regardless. He's not necessarily whining, just making a point.

Look at his eyes though. Sarda's never looked so whiny before.

[Tev]

I do hope this revelation has some effect on the whole "don't guess it or it won't come true" myth.So there is hope for the "King Steve is Bard" theorists?

[Doc T]

So Sarda didn't leave the Warriors dead or kill them for reals before because he witnessed this moment as a child.

So Onion Sarda can't die until he at least reaches puberty and sends himself to the beginning of the universe. ('mustache, eh?')

Which means Old Sarda can die. And if he does, that means Onion Sarda has to be sent away from the battle. Because he's overhead the conversation and knows this crazy old wizard is his Future Self. And if Sarda witnessed his own death, he'd definitely remember it and do things differently.

Unless Sarda remembered the horrors of the light Warriors but forgot the battle's specifics while spending billions of years alone in space. or didn't witness it at all.

So Older Sarda either already knows the outcome of this battle because he's already seen it or knows he sent himself away from the battle and therefore has to do it to keep time stabilized and has no clue about what is about to happen.

Or the four orbs somehow allow him to rewrite time. Which he already did with Bard, but can't with the LWs. Because it didn't happen that way.

Unless Brian pulls the ultimate dick move by setting the comic in a universe where you can alter the future, and the LWs simply kill Onion Sarda and therefore re-write history or alter the timeline and non of their orb-related adventures ever happen.


....



Excuse me I must take a heroic dose of brain medicine.


Thus was launch a thousand "OMG I CALLED IT" forum posts.

Pfft. We've had five or six years to theorise, we were bound to come close at some point. Like monkeys with typewriters, except nerds with too much spare time.

[Solid Snake]

Really? Not even after like a million other people guessed it?


I was a staunch believer that if anyone we knew was Sarda, it would be Red Mage, and if Red Mage wasn't Sarda, then no one we knew was Sarda. I didn't really consider the Onion Kid possibility seriously. Nor did I read much about it, to be frank. If the theory was immensely popular at any point in time, I guess I missed that train.

Slightly more Accurate Alternative Explanation: Some hardcore NPF members -- well, namely me, and possibly only me -- are tremendously active in the Discussion / Video Games / Movies / etc. boards, but not active on the 8BT board. I fit into that category until a few weeks ago when the storyline got serious again -- prior to shit hitting the fan, I read and enjoyed the comic, but didn't really invest enough in it to read all the theory / speculation threads. I'd usually only even bother to check the 8BT topics if I found a particular joke insanely funny (and occasionally I popped up to bitch and complain about 8BT 'not having a direction' a few hundred strips back. Guess I was wrong, or just impatient.)

So as a long-time 8BT reader, yet not an avid commentator, this did catch me by surprise.

[UndrDog]

Which means Old Sarda can die. And if he does, that means Onion Sarda has to be sent away from the battle. Because he's overhead the conversation and knows this crazy old wizard is his Future Self. And if Sarda witnessed his own death, he'd definitely remember it and do things differently.

OR, and bare with me. Onion Kid witnesses his own death, which sends him over the edge. Sort of like an insane version of Obi Wan Kenobi and Luke Skywalker. Throw in the four Orbs and perhaps even the Datasphere and BAM! This could instantly make Onion Kid, an insane version of Sarda. And as we all know, crazy beats strong any day. Onion Kid may be the final boss...

/insane theory

[Fifthfiend]

I do hope this revelation has some effect on the whole "don't guess it or it won't come true" myth.

We're getting our shipment of "he gets all his ideas from the forums" myth on Friday.

[Dracorion]

I just throw everyone's theories in the "crazy" pile.

Except for mine, of course.

If I believed every theory ever posted to be true, I'd go insane!

[Harrow]

well, looks like its time to kill onion kid.

[Nuklear Waste]

I just realized something that could turn Sarda into an even more tragic character:

What if Sarda's "ultimate plan (http://www.nuklearpower.com/2005/05/24/episode-554-fashion-advice/)" was just preventing him from suffering and becoming a total jackass and not obtaining god-like powers or anything? He was willing to sacrifice the chance to essentially become a deity just to keep his own sanity, only to be left stranded for billions of years.

EDIT:
There would theoretically have to be 2 iterations of his life because during the first one Sarda wasn't around to do some of the things he did. Due to Sarda not being around it would require a different way for OK to get his powers and then Sarda just kept making sure he got those powers so there would only be 2 possible iterations of Sarda's life.
I'm guessing Sarda got his powers when he saw Black Mage's face (and the orbs and/or Temple of Fiends unlock his stored potential or something), which doesn't really require Sarda unless he is to blame for Black Mage's ugliness.

[timemonkey]

Looks like my Sarda is Black Belt's soul theory was way off.



Unless Onion Kid becomes Black Belt before becoming Sarda, but that would just be silly.

Aw well, let's see if my theory about WM roping him into the Guardian of Fate prediction comes closer to the mark.

[Desgami]

Brian you devious bastard, I love you.

[krogothwolf]

Short answer: no.

Long answer: I'm not sure what else I can say as the explanation may very well be the primary topic of an upcoming comic.

That's good then. I'm looking forward to the comic then! It'll be interesting to see how you explain it all. It's sad cause it feels like 8-bit is coming to its end.

And thank you Argent Lord for explaining it all to me so I can understand it better, it is much appreciated as Time Travel topics tend to confuse me sometimes

[Molotovich]

Why couldn't Sarda just erase BM from existence before he traumatized Onion Kid?

Easy, if he does that, then he would REALLY create an Universe destroying kind of paradox (there would be no Sarda, therefore, no universe)

Rebuttal, i dare you

[Grognor]

Red Mage is truly neutral and completely so. He said this himself with something along the lines of "I'm a red mage! A living embodiment of the balance between order and chaos!" possibly in a speech that the main characters ignored. I can't remember. It is obviously no coincidence, as the black mage is abhorrent and the white mage is good; all the other characters live up to their stereotypes as well. The reason Red Mage commits so many crimes is because he hangs around one Omnicidal Maniac and one Murderous Thief Jackass Mongrel Elf. Going along with their plans obviously drags him into far more evil situations than good ones, though he appears to be largely indifferent to both.

As for Rex Crockett (Brian indirectly [possibly accidentally] said that this is his canon name) I was pretty sure that he was either Chaos or Sarda, but I preferred thinking that he was Chaos and that Sarda was not Chaos. Now, I still think that Rex is Chaos, with the addition that Sarda is also Chaos. Garland's probably in there somewhere, since his original plan was to summon Chaos, as you all surely recall.

Eventually, you'll all stop ignoring me. It's gotta happen sometime. It's gotta. So far the only reply to any post I've had here was asking what the point of it was.

[UndrDog]

I wasn't ignoring you on this post. I was nodding feverishly. Up until you stopped talking about RM.

[Quirriff`]

Hey it was Sarda that did a few of those things onto himself like hurt.

[Doc ock rokc]

I KNE...YOU MAGNIFICENT BASTARD!
...... /\.............
Reads Brian's post

I mean Onion knights do change into sages later on.

[Murl]

I'll never be able to look at Sarda in quite the same way after this. I mean, his real name is Rex Crockett.


http://img43.imageshack.us/img43/9981/40pxsarda.png

Rex Crockett,
Nigh-Omnipotent Jackass


Edit: Damn, kinda ninja'd by Grognor.

[Xshu]

My guess is that Black Mage kills Onion Kid and the resulting paradox results in rip from which Chaos erupts.

Also, even though he didn't plan it until later, this (http://www.nuklearpower.com/2001/06/18/episode-044-what-the-hell-just-happened-in-survivor-8-bit-style-part-9/) is suddenly a lot more foreboding.

[LTGM]

Isn't it possible that Sarda originally wanted vengeance but eventually fell into megalomania and allowed the atrocities to befall his younger self just to keep his omnipotence. But then, when his tormentors tried to call themselves innocent he reverted back to his vengeance mentality due to a surge of emotions?

[BitVyper]

You know, you have to respect a man who can hold a grudge for billions of years.

[BB]

You know, you have to respect a man who can hold a grudge for billions of years.

It's not like he had much else to do, really. I mean, growing a moustache aside.

[shiney]

Red Mage is truly neutral and completely so. He said this himself with something along the lines of "I'm a red mage! A living embodiment of the balance between order and chaos!" possibly in a speech that the main characters ignored. I can't remember. It is obviously no coincidence, as the black mage is abhorrent and the white mage is good; all the other characters live up to their stereotypes as well. The reason Red Mage commits so many crimes is because he hangs around one Omnicidal Maniac and one Murderous Thief Jackass Mongrel Elf. Going along with their plans obviously drags him into far more evil situations than good ones, though he appears to be largely indifferent to both.

As for Rex Crockett (Brian indirectly [possibly accidentally] said that this is his canon name) I was pretty sure that he was either Chaos or Sarda, but I preferred thinking that he was Chaos and that Sarda was not Chaos. Now, I still think that Rex is Chaos, with the addition that Sarda is also Chaos. Garland's probably in there somewhere, since his original plan was to summon Chaos, as you all surely recall.

What was the point of that whole post? Honestly now.

[tshadowdrag]

You know, you have to respect a man who can hold a grudge for billions of years.

Just like women, except without the extra hormones. Imagine if it was White Mage left there for billions of years. Hammerdoken anyone? :p

[Quseio]

i know its cliche but i was thinking this exact thing last night who hates the light warriors the most/ onion kid and that he might be sarda, who wants to bet that bm stabs onion kid with a black energy tenticle. question is will that kill sarda ? who knows

[CodeBlack]

I hope Sarda's not going to be mad that they don't remember. Honestly, he knows them better than that.

who wants to bet that bm stabs onion kid with a black energy tenticle. question is will that kill sarda ? who knows

Not if Sarda says it won't.

[Eruco]

I didn't read thru all the previous posts so excuse me if this has already been stated, But maybe Sarda had the Light Warriors gather the orbs so he could give them to his younger self and thus become a super powered jackass in the first place.

[Doc ock rokc]

...I just realized something. Sarda is chaos. (yeah yeah the conspiracy theorists blah blah blah) Think about it he uses his magic to turn him into a sage then the power of the 4 orbs to sends himself back into time and create the Sarda paradox so he can extract his revenge on BM forever. That is why the universe hates BM

[Awake]

I guessed it, but frankly I am still a little disappointed. Personally, I had hoped in the back of my mind that Black Mage Might have been Sarda. Sarda's relentless abuse of BM would have been Black Mage's loathing for the person he used to be.

[Ti-Phil]

Quite interesting, so the role of the one who goes back in time only to make in sort that his younger self is sent back in time is Sarda instead of Garland... I admit I am intrigued by it and, despise the fact that I registered only to say this, I quite enjoyed the ride which I've been reading since the beginning.

[power mongering]

There is still one very important question! Whose the old guy that originally took Fighters gold and told him about the armor of invincibility? Thus enraging Blackmage enough to senselessly fry a bunch of old people (with electric death).

[Nexus]

I'm gonna say right now that something epic is going to go down, such as Sarda draining all of Black Mage's newfound power with the four orbs and put it into Onion Kid who will prepare to go to before existence, only to have White Mage show up and Smash Onion Kid's melon, thus undoing the time loop, ex: like the one in Final Fantasy 1, thus causing everything to go back to page one and then the comic will end. Just saying. >->

[bluestarultor]

You know, technically, Onion Kid may not only be Sarda, but a different character at the same time. There's a lot of time left unaccounted for in regards to his adulthood.

Honestly, he could still be RM, given how RM flagrantly violates the rules of the universe. With his new-found knowledge of all the moves in the game, AKA every spell, it would make sense in that Sarda is omnipotent. RM would just have to use his reality-breaking powers a bit more liberally.

Alternatively, he could also be BM, which could tie back into the old man in blue robes, as Sarda would be much older, could class change back into a Black Mage or Blue Mage, and start the whole thing over again. BM could have broken his very own mind, causing his own insanity, and killed his own family, in an admission to the fact he knew who he was killing.

I mean, after all, nothing's said that none of the Light Warriors have traveled through time for some reason. It's something BM would have been able to hide or might not have cared to talk about, and while RM would have thought it was totally cool, with the information already given to him, he may have had the sense to keep his mouth shut. Or you could delve into dissociative fugues and split personalities, if you like.

[POS Industries]

I mean, his real name is Rex Crockett.
According to the "Sardapedia (http://8bittheater.wikia.com/wiki/Rex_Crockett)" that I just now learned exists, we here at the forums apparently all agreed that his name isn't Rex Crockett, after all.

Which is odd because I don't recall anything of the sort.

[cwDeici]

I'm sure it's been mentioned before, but that whiner is really complaining about BM, not the four of them.

And he's a whiner because with the amount of evil the jerk has done he really has no business punishind and hurting innocents and complaining about how it once happened to him.

OK, so he has a right to complain and isn't really a whiner, but I'm not feeling charitable or even fair towards Sarda.

The timemage must die!

[Inst]

I'm amused by the notion that Black Mage is Onion Kid from the future. The notion that Onion Kid is everyone would also be pretty entertaining.

[Nuklear Waste]

According to the "Sardapedia (http://8bittheater.wikia.com/wiki/Rex_Crockett)" that I just now learned exists, we here at the forums apparently all agreed that his name isn't Rex Crockett, after all.

Which is odd because I don't recall anything of the sort.
Here's the story:
-I once asked if King Steve Theater and Corneria's Kickass Newspaper were canon. Brian said yes.
-In a thread where someone posted a guest comic they made involving the Onion Kid, Brian said the kid's name is not Rex Crockett.

I wonder if we're going to get a "Huh. And here I thought it was just a funny coincidence that we had the same name." joke if the kid's name is Sarda currently.

[Mirai Gen]

You'll note how incredibly silent I was on that topic every time it came up :)
I did notice that you were very firm that Sarda was most definitely not a Warrior, Light, Lite, Dark, or otherwise.

Really should've tipped me off, but I was having more fun just enjoying the ride.

[Arrekusu]

I do hope this revelation has some effect on the whole "don't guess it or it won't come true" myth.

I don't. It was right up there with Bard in terms of in-jokes.

[Panthera]

The most pressing question that's been bugging me for ages is...if Sarda devoted his billions of years from the genesis of the universe doing nothing but building seething hatred for everything and growing a mustache, how is his mustache not far bigger? Billions of years should amount to more than that.

[bluestarultor]

The most pressing question that's been bugging me for ages is...if Sarda devoted his billions of years from the genesis of the universe doing nothing but building seething hatred for everything and growing a mustache, how is his mustache not far bigger? Billions of years should amount to more than that.

There's a difference between having a long mustache and a good mustache. Too long and he might look grandfatherly.

[Unprodigy]

Have to re-emphasise this:
Sarda has given himself a purpose and humanised himself.

He's dead meat.
Also, notice how Sarda starts referring to OK in the third person right through his explanation of who the kid is. Not once does he slip an "I" or "me" in that part. In fact, "But I started as this young man" is hardly a definitive statement that he's still the same individual.

Perhaps there's something more to this than meets the eye. May I suggest two possilities?

One, Onion Kid somehow manages to merge with other people/beings (maybe even the Light Warriors), thus creating the gestalt entity of Sarda, a wizard so powerful, and self-contradicting, because he's literally more than one wizard. Think Alpha from Dollhouse if it helps.

Two, Onion Kid does in fact die, and Sarda is somehow born from that death, perhaps phoenix-like, or maybe as a corporeal manifestation of his emotions.

Whatever the process, I'm sure it ties into OK's mind being warped and the orbs.

ALSO, GAH! SPECULATION! *punches self*

[Loyal]

I just realized... when was the last time we got one of RM's "Dun Dun Dunnnnnn!"s?

[nyttyn]

God damnit ceases to be adequete.

[justice~!]

Speaking of foreshadowing...forgive me if already posted...

This one (http://www.nuklearpower.com/2001/06/18/episode-044-what-the-hell-just-happened-in-survivor-8-bit-style-part-9/) people have already posted about a bit...

But isn't the style of it pretty similar to this one...? (http://www.nuklearpower.com/2001/09/25/episode-081-its-another-one-of-those-weird-episodes/)

[CodeBlack]

Have to re-emphasise this:

Also, notice how Sarda starts referring to OK in the third person right through his explanation of who the kid is. Not once does he slip an "I" or "me" in that part. In fact, "But I started as this young man" is hardly a definitive statement that he's still the same individual.

Perhaps there's something more to this than meets the eye. May I suggest two possilities?

One, Onion Kid somehow manages to merge with other people/beings (maybe even the Light Warriors), thus creating the gestalt entity of Sarda, a wizard so powerful, and self-contradicting, because he's literally more than one wizard. Think Alpha from Dollhouse if it helps.

Two, Onion Kid does in fact die, and Sarda is somehow born from that death, perhaps phoenix-like, or maybe as a corporeal manifestation of his emotions.

Whatever the process, I'm sure it ties into OK's mind being warped and the orbs.

ALSO, GAH! SPECULATION! *punches self*

Of course, it could always go this way:

Onion Kid dies somehow, and Sarda decides he doesn't. Or, better yet, Sarda decides that killing Onion Kid has no effect on him. Thus creating a paradox that will destroy the universe. That is, the universe except Sarda and the Light Warriors.

[Waxfivecraft]

I came here after not posting for possibly several years, and I believe that we're getting played here. Sarda in my opinion ain't Onion Kid, he may have the qualification to be BM's brother or something, but I'm not leaving a trail of proof until my theory is tested. Also I could be full of myself, but that's just fine, it's not like if I was one of the readers and someone like me posted something like I am posting now, I wouldn't want to find out myself rather then read it from him.

[Silverwalker]

I think Brian just grabbed a bazooka and blew our collective brains out. Way to go!

[Krylo]

Speaking of foreshadowing...forgive me if already posted...

This one (http://www.nuklearpower.com/2001/06/18/episode-044-what-the-hell-just-happened-in-survivor-8-bit-style-part-9/) people have already posted about a bit...

But isn't the style of it pretty similar to this one...? (http://www.nuklearpower.com/2001/09/25/episode-081-its-another-one-of-those-weird-episodes/)

The latter is clearly referencing black mage, as is indicated by Darky McDarko's lines at BM's 'class change'. The nexus is unbound or some such.

I'd link it, but SOMEONE is lazy and not finishing up the 'scriptosearch'.

[Kim]

One thing to the people still asking why Sarda rezzed the Light Warriors, this OK thing actually provides several possible reasons. One is the simple, and likely, fact that he just wants to get his revenge, and he wants to get it right. Not just kill them, but kill them with them knowing why he's killing them.

Alternatively, it could be "This is how I saw it play out, so this is how I have to make it play out." He saw certain, specific events happen when he was OK, and if he wants to maintain the Time Stream he has to do things that way. Or something.

[Masaki-kun]

You know, technically, Onion Kid may not only be Sarda, but a different character at the same time. There's a lot of time left unaccounted for in regards to his adulthood.


He's Not Akbar. That's why he's been screwing them over the whole adventure.

[Kaalamid]

Well THERE were hints that Sarda was fucking evil:

http://www.nuklearpower.com/2008/04/01/episode-973-collect-all-four/

he laughs evil style in this comic.

[stabbity death]

I just want to state that Sarda wishes to kill all of the Light Warriors, even though his underlying motive involves only one of them. At first, Sarda refers to the four Light Warriors collectively, but in this strip, the "you" has taken on a notably singular context.

Dunno if this will have implications later, but who knows?

[Masaki-kun]

A Muhahaha is a tipoff.

[acheron]

Black Mage used Vilbert's line from http://www.nuklearpower.com/2008/04/12/episode-978-dysfunctional/

Probably a case of great(?) minds thinking alike...

[Amake]

The most pressing question that's been bugging me for ages is...if Sarda devoted his billions of years from the genesis of the universe doing nothing but building seething hatred for everything and growing a mustache, how is his mustache not far bigger? Billions of years should amount to more than that. Little known fact, hair only grows for about seven years. One year in the case of body hair, probably including mustaches. Then it falls out.

There's a number of mutants who can grow much longer hair, as seen on TV. But is Sarda one of them?

[Panthera]

Little known fact, hair only grows for about seven years. One year in the case of body hair, probably including mustaches. Then it falls out.

There's a number of mutants who can grow much longer hair, as seen on TV. But is Sarda one of them?

Sarda transcends everything except Drownball, if he wants to be able to grow hair for billions of years he damn well can grow it for billions of years

[Sean Renaud]

1. You know I hate that despite seeing the facts, having no quality disagreement with them and loving being right I didn't join in on the OK is Sarda wagon. To those of you who bravely followed that path I sallute you. You are better men (and women) than I.

I am curious about the time loop. Quite obviously no matter what Brian may have said in the past the time loop has been confirmed (assuming Sarda isn't a dirty liar). So it is there, I think it also bears mentioning that in the original FF the LW are not involved in the time loop directly. I don't even know if it is confirmed that they return from the past. Only that they defeated Chaos and broke the loop.

More and more I'm noticing what appear to be limitations in Sarda's abilities. Despite his claims he seems to be linear. Sure he can pause time but if he could turn things backwards, really backwards then what happened with WM wouldn't have because he would have fixed it.

There must be other limitations to his powers as well but I can't see them just yet.

[Kurosen]

Black Mage used Vilbert's line from http://www.nuklearpower.com/2008/04/12/episode-978-dysfunctional/

Probably a case of great(?) minds thinking alike...
It's like Black Mage's use of "double _____." It's gettin' around!

[Eldezar]

Not from the "beginning", but extremely early. Possibly shortly after the very first Sarda appearance when he ruined the "good" Light Warriors to make a sammich.

Well, what this tells me is that there is still another really big, or at least really cool, thing to happen. I had thought that when the secret of Sarda and/or OK was revealed, that would be the natural conclusion that Brian has been working towards, or at least part of it. However, this means that there was instead something else that Brian has been planning for even longer than OK = Sarda, and that this was just one of those on the spot plots he thought of that he made to tie in with the ending.

Also, with recent comics and this one (http://www.nuklearpower.com/2008/04/26/episode-984-so-totally-safe/) in mind, he clearly needs them alive for something.

Also, with what Blue said, I am now curious as to whether or not BM goes back in time when he is older, takes all of Fighter's gold and tells him about some armour in a cave.

Also again, this (http://www.nuklearpower.com/2008/06/14/episode-1005-of-hardships/) may bring some more speculation onto Sarda and his little time loop.

I just realized... when was the last time we got one of RM's "Dun Dun Dunnnnnn!"s?

Dun dun dun? (http://www.nuklearpower.com/2007/02/06/episode-805-old-news/)

[Sephiel]

And if Sarda needed the Orbs for OK's allergies ?

[Wyr]

I do not know why everyone is going so wild over this news, at all. Its obviously a misunderstanding. Onion Kid is not Sarda. The reason is obvious. While the Light Warriors may have thought they were having an intelligent conversation with the Sage, and that said Sage was giving them a vicious talking to, really his entire side of the conversation was made up of one thing. Allergies.
Look at the logic. I was born in the winter. I have allergies up the backside. And that was just one season without inoculation against pollen. Sarda had billions of years before pollen was even invented by Akbar's Alegra Medication Corporation (Not Placebos). Can you imagine the type of messed up allergies he'd have. Thats why he lives in a fricken cave, even though he could totally have his own WhiteMage laden mansion if he willed it so.
So all that gibberish he just spouted about being Onion Kid, and preparing to kill all those evil Light Warriors (Hello? Light=/=Evil) was just his sneezing, which was so bad it sounded like words.
Need further proof? Only the Elemental Orbs would be powerful enough to cure allergies as powerful as Sarda's. http://www.nuklearpower.com/2008/04/03/episode-974-time-for-the-truth/ I mean, Sarda right there says he needs the Orbs for his allergies. And Sarda is totally trustworthy. He never lies. You know why? Because he's Fighter. From the Future/Past/Present/Fifth Dimension.

So there. Sit back and relax. Wait til the sneezing resides. And then we'll learn that Onion Kid isn't Sarda at all.


He's BlackMage.

[justice~!]

The latter is clearly referencing black mage, as is indicated by Darky McDarko's lines at BM's 'class change'. The nexus is unbound or some such.

I'd link it, but SOMEONE is lazy and not finishing up the 'scriptosearch'.

I remember, the whole "let them try when the sigils are undone and the nexus is free." (http://www.nuklearpower.com/2006/01/31/episode-655-switcheroo/) There's no way I can forget it, because the exchange of:
"Have you heard of blue magic?"
"I've heard the legends, sure"
"It is time to become legendary"
was probably one of the best things I've ever read in this comic.

At the time I thought it meant BM was the nexus, but what if Darko was simply referring to the sigils being free when he gave BM the power and the nexus being free was simply something else? Where was onion kid last seen prior to that episode?

Edit:
This is where. (http://www.nuklearpower.com/2005/12/06/episode-631-what-goes-around-comes-around/)

[Martyr]

Sarda's Onion Kid?

Then he ain't no god. He's a punchline. Poor dweeb.
I don't know what happens next, but I think I have a vague idea of what's happened up 'til now.

Come to think of it, the last FF character I heard of who'se obsessed with losing his parents and growing up on his own, through a life of hardship, to become an elite near-god-type being is probably and hopefully the true present incarnation of Sarda.

Sephiroth!

Actually, I don't hope for this, but with all the pro-FF1 people like myself around here, there ought to be some random FF7 representation.

[catboyjeremie]

For some reason, as soon as I saw Sarda's revelation and calling the group monsters, I remembered the part where he made them sandwiches to feed them and it cracked me up.

I'm still confused about the four orbs, it could be argued that Sarda could use them to become Chaos but then again, he's already omnipotent so that makes it rather pointless unless he'd use them in a way on Onion Kid so he could...

Actually forget it, knowing Brian, the amount of possibilities is countless which is pretty fun and entertaining at times.

[russianreversal]

I'll never be able to look at Sarda in quite the same way after this. I mean, his real name is Rex Crockett.


http://img43.imageshack.us/img43/9981/40pxsarda.png

Rex Crockett,
Nigh-Omnipotent Jackass


Edit: Damn, kinda ninja'd by Grognor. Oh man, this would make a great title. I wish I knew an actual Rex Crockett.

[Gadgeteer]

I got to the part about 'I watched you kill my parents' and had to leave my computer room for a bit.

Honestly, I was nerd rage-ing around my living room for ten minutes over this.

[Kim]

I got to the part about 'I watched you kill my parents' and had to leave my computer room for a bit.

Honestly, I was nerd rage-ing around my living room for ten minutes over this.

Because of a webcomic? Really?

[Wyr]

My name is Sarda the Sage. You killed my father. And my mother. And my other father. A couple more moms. My pet puppy, and my girlfriend. Prepare to die.

[Meister]

About Rex Crockett:
Oh, specifically I just meant that Onion Kid's name isn't real as I like his name being unknown to the audience.
For, as we now know, a very good reason! But yeah someone should probably edit that terribly inaccurate Sardapedia article. 123notit

[meo]

Onion Knight isn't really Sarda, Sarda is subtly trying to get them to think they need to kill OK in order to unmake Sarda via time loop. When they kill OK, they will have murdered an innocent child in the Temple of Fiends, spilling his blood to wash over the orbs and complete the ritual wherein he summons Chaos who devourers the Light Warriors' damned souls, gains ultimate power and unmakes the world.

Well. No. Not really. But it'd be funny. (:

(If giving the series the most downer ending ever is hilarious to you. And it is to me.)

[Fenris]

Oh man, Warbot's gonna say things any second now, I can feel it.

[Meister]

I like to think a writer who points out (http://www.nuklearpower.com/2009/04/27/fcbd-09-page-1/) the impracticability of time travel without simultaneous space travel wouldn't fall into the old killing-one's-younger-self trap.

[kh3lgar]

You all know what's coming next don't you:

Onion kid:Is it true Sarda, am i really you?Really?
Sarda: Nah.

[Fenris]

^

v

[shiney_is_an_ass]

Ass

But not as big of one as shiney, I wager.

[Organism X]

I like to think a writer who points out (http://www.nuklearpower.com/2009/04/27/fcbd-09-page-1/) the impracticability of time travel without simultaneous space travel wouldn't fall into the old killing-one's-younger-self trap.
Sarda has orbs.

[kh3lgar]

v

All I wanted was to make a prediction, like the rest of you guys.. To fit in..
Why must you be so mean? :(

[w0rf]

TOTALLY DID NOT SEE THAT COMING! :eek:

[catboyjeremie]

Onion Knight isn't really Sarda, Sarda is subtly trying to get them to think they need to kill OK in order to unmake Sarda via time loop. When they kill OK, they will have murdered an innocent child in the Temple of Fiends, spilling his blood to wash over the orbs and complete the ritual wherein he summons Chaos who devourers the Light Warriors' damned souls, gains ultimate power and unmakes the world.

Well. No. Not really. But it'd be funny. (:

(If giving the series the most downer ending ever is hilarious to you. And it is to me.)

I was thinking something like that when White Mage got stabbed as well. Maybe this time it'll be what really happens.

[iCat]

Oh SNAP.

[Pink Bison]

IT'S IMPLIED, DAMMIT!!!

[Ghadius]

Garland, will KNOCK THEM ALL DOWN!

[Pink Bison]

Garland, will KNOCK THEM ALL DOWN!
Garland was knocked down a while ago. Then stood on.

[tacticslion]

My name is Sarda the Sage. You killed my father. And my mother. And my other father. A couple more moms. My pet puppy, and my girlfriend. Prepare to die.

This would be full of win. However Brian is a jerk, so Sarda will never really say it.

Honestly, I was nerd rage-ing around my living room for ten minutes over this.

Because of a webcomic? Really?

NonCon, you FOOL! He already said he was NERD, didn't he?

ALSO, GAH! SPECULATION! *punches self*

Bwuahahahahahah! So, you have become a true forum member at last!

Come to think of it, the last FF character I heard of who'se obsessed with losing his parents and growing up on his own, through a life of hardship, to become an elite near-god-type being is probably and hopefully the true present incarnation of Sarda.

Sephiroth!

Hm, well he does have white hair and would have had the requisite seven or so years needed to grow it... Heh. Sephiroth with a mustache.

No, I have a feeling a parasite attached itself to Onion kid's crotch.

I mean, there has to be a reason Sarda is billions of years old!

Kinda of like the Goa'uld.

So Sarda is Onion Kid, posessed by a crotch-biting wannabe-egyptian-god?

That wiggles, squirms, and makes hissing noises.

O.O
O.o
o.O
:sweatdrop :( :gonk:

[Red King]

Ok, for all those people saying something must have happened to turn Onion Kid evil and thus Sarda evil. When Sarda first saw WM at the beginning of the universe, despite the limited talk, he seemed good.

So do you think the billions and billions of years of isolation and hate might have turned him evil?

Just a little?

[krogothwolf]

Ok, for all those people saying something must have happened to turn Onion Kid evil and thus Sarda evil. When Sarda first saw WM at the beginning of the universe, despite the limited talk, he seemed good.

So do you think the billions and billions of years of isolation and hate might have turned him evil?

Just a little?

He's not evil, he's a jackass. Those years probably just made him realize being a jerk to people for his own enjoyment made things interesting and fun. I mean, he does both evil and good things all the time.

[Harrow]

He's not evil, he's a jackass. Those years probably just made him realize being a jerk to people for his own enjoyment made things interesting and fun..

So all you have to do to be Brian is live alone in a cave for a few billion years after losing several sets of parents and part of your mind twice?

[krogothwolf]

So all you have to do to be Brian is live alone in a cave for a few billion years after losing several sets of parents and part of your mind twice?

That sounds about right. I mean its the easy explanation on how Brian came to be

[SoulBrother]

I think white mage was the first person to notice Sarda's plan. When she first brought onion kid to him.

http://www.nuklearpower.com/2008/06/14/episode-1005-of-hardships/

He wants to keep repeating the universe and destroying it so that all he does is hate black mage.

[CopperNinja]

Hmm maybe onion sage remembers that onion knight walked with white mage,
and dragoon, and maybe a certain white mage, and a certain dragoon
complained too much, and this angered onion sage.

But really this statement is both unsatisfactory, and illogical.

[Nezz]

Or Sarda is not a jack ass at all, and rather was intentionally torturing the people who killed his parents. As for Dragoon and the Other Warriors, no one likes them, who wouldn't whisk them away to the moon to asphyxiate if they could?

[Zinos]

Dun dun dun duuuuun...

Whats next? Sarda becomes Chaos to kill them?

[Nezz]

Dun dun dun duuuuun...

Whats next? Sarda becomes Chaos to kill them?

If Chaos is involved it's more likely the the light warriors some how combine into Chaos, kill Sarda, and rule the burnt husk that was once the world for all eternity. Seems about par for the course.

[krogothwolf]

Or Sarda is not a jack ass at all, and rather was intentionally torturing the people who killed his parents. As for Dragoon and the Other Warriors, no one likes them, who wouldn't whisk them away to the moon to asphyxiate if they could?

I liked Dragoon! He was a little crazy but at least he kept landing on BM

[jck4332]

This topic hurts my brain!

[Nexus]

New theory. Dragoon crashes through the roof riding the Golden Chocobo and kills Sarda/Onion Kid upon landing, thus breaking the time loop and making everything never happen.

[FatesEnd]

New theory. Dragoon crashes through the roof riding the Golden Chocobo and kills Sarda/Onion Kid upon landing, thus breaking the time loop and making everything never happen.

What.

[jck4332]

New theory. Dragoon crashes through the roof riding the Golden Chocobo and kills Sarda/Onion Kid upon landing, thus breaking the time loop and making everything never happen.
Dragoon is no Red mage he can't make Golden Chocobo just through Chocobo sex.

[Fenris]

What.

^

[Nexus]

The Golden Chocobo Red Mage bred flew to the moon. Dragoon is on the moon. Thus, Draogon saves the day. Yay. :3

[jck4332]

The Golden Chocobo Red Mage bred flew to the moon. Dragoon is on the moon. Thus, Draogon saves the day. Yay. :3Only if you get a natural 20 can you ride a Golden Chocobo!:rmage:

[Kepor]

So guys, I'm starting to think that maybe possibly Sarda might be Onion Kid.

Does that make sense to anyone or am I just crazy?

[tacticslion]

So guys, I'm starting to think that maybe possibly Sarda might be Onion Kid.

Does that make sense to anyone or am I just crazy?

That doesn't make any sense at all! Sarda is clearly everyone and their mothers with the exception of Onion Kid! I mean - really! Does "Sarda" sound like "Rex Crockett" to you? Sheesh, Kepor, get with the program!

[krogothwolf]

That doesn't make any sense at all! Sarda is clearly everyone and their mothers with the exception of Onion Kid! I mean - really! Does "Sarda" sound like "Rex Crockett" to you? Sheesh, Kepor, get with the program!

Dude, Sarda is totally OK, get this...they both wear RED!! Can't you see the connection..wait so does RM...and Fighter...and WM....OH NO THEY'RE ALL SARDA!!!

[Spekkio]

Been wanting to post on this for awhile, but I've had food poisoning, and been unable to complete a cogent thought, until now.

I won't claim I called this. However, I had mentally noted in the past that Brian only said that none of the Warriors were anyone else, and the Onion Kid theories did always make sense to me.

Yet I dismissed them.

Why? Why didn't I grasp what was dangling so obviously before me?

At any rate, I can't wait to see where this goes next.

[jck4332]

Dude, Sarda is totally OK, get this...they both wear RED!! Can't you see the connection..wait so does RM...and Fighter...and WM....OH NO THEY'RE ALL SARDA!!!
Oh dear Chaos.:rmage:

[tacticslion]

Oh dear Chaos.:rmage:

No, Sarda.

[krogothwolf]

No, Sarda.

it's totally starting to make sense, who caused the most Chaos so far? The Light Warriors. Who, knowing full well what kind of individuals they are, sent the Light Warriors on this quest for Light Orbs? Sarda! Sarda is Chaos!!!! Egads, We're all doomed!

[Gabranth]

So all you have to do to be Brian is live alone in a cave for a few billion years after losing several sets of parents and part of your mind twice?

Well when Sarda was trapped during the creation of the universe, didn't he say in 555 (http://www.nuklearpower.com/2005/05/26/episode-555-a-brief-history-of-time/):

That wasn't so bad. I'm hardly insane at all from the aeons of isolation and blind, seething rage.

And in 1005 (http://www.nuklearpower.com/2008/06/14/episode-1005-of-hardships/):

Nothing but hate to remind you that you're still alive. An ordeal that destroys you only to rebuild you only to do it over and over again. Over and over again. Until there is nothing left to destroy. Nothing left to rebuild. Until there is nothing but the hatred. Focused into perfect clarity.

So it's obvious that his rage and insanity stemmed from THAT. :sweatdrop

[Nuklear Waste]

Dun dun dun? (http://www.nuklearpower.com/2007/02/06/episode-805-old-news/)
If it counts, Dragoon also said it (http://www.nuklearpower.com/2007/09/20/episode-896-the-case-against-allowing-red-mage-to-speak/).

I sure do miss that crazy lancer. He may have been dumb, but he was the most rational character in the comic.

[El Mullet]

The Golden Chocobo Red Mage bred flew to the moon. Dragoon is on the moon. Thus, Draogon saves the day. Yay. :3

This solution is so amazingly plausible, AND makes so much sense, that Brian will ignore it and jackass the comic into ANOTHER three hard rights away from the very idea. (Which would turn out to be a soft left...so we might not be that far off...)

Which is fine by me. Logic never really did play out in 8-Bit. Hell, I was HAPPY when Thief and Fighter were revived. We came back to weird and irreverent ALONG with being serious!