Thread for Your General Fuck-ups

[Mike McC]

We all have them. In fact, if we didn't, I dare say we wouldn't be human. We all fuck up, and many times it ends up costing us. Sometimes we get off lucky. This is a thread for both situations.

So, last night, I was kicking back, playing my favorite DS game, Picross DS. I turned off the DS, set it down, and it slid off the shelf I put it in into a glass of water sitting right below. Yaaaay. It did not like that. The fall had turned it on, and the power light was twitching between green and red. The top screen was flickering, and flickered to black. I feared I had toasted the poor thing.

I took out the battery and let it sit to dry out, and, testing it after 7 hours of that, it seems to be mostly functional again, touch screen still fully works, so this time I was very lucky. It's currently sitting in a bag full of rice, to help draw out any excess moisture, so with continued luck, it will be as good as new.

So, what are your near misses/head-on collisions?

[krogothwolf]

Mine was with my laptop for school. We were in the hardware lab and I had it opened up and sitting on the desk with the lap instructions. I went down to pick up the computer we were working on to put on the desk and when I brought it up and smacked the Laptop off the desk and onto the floor. Cracked the Screen and everything. Had to take it in to get repaired. Lost my damage deposit on it and had to wait a week to get a new one. Lucky the hard drive was fine and everything. It also cost me 10% on the lab.

[Seil]

Pretty much everything I've ever done on NPF.

[Mike McC]

You got that right ~ba-dum-tish~.

But seriously, admitting it is the first step to recovery!

But really seriously, You suggested Nedroid in the comics thread and really that makes up for some stuff. Not all of it, but some.

[Telephalsion]

Just today I grabbed a cookie just before leaving my apartment, I bit down on it and got out my keys to lock the apartment door, and just as I turned the cookie flew out from between my teeth and fell through the stairwell, three stories down. I mourn that cookie.

Once I tried lifting my bed to get underneath it and clean away the dustbunnies and other stuff the bed-legs stopped the vacuum from reaching. Then one of the bed-legs falls of, and I'm stuck underneath my 4-foot wide bed and I have no choice but to try and reattach the leg so I can put the bedhemoth down again. Once I do that I sit down on the bed, only to realize I didn't attach the leg right. The bed was a bit wobbly and while I wanted to repair it, I wasn't to keen on lifting it up again, so I decided to just shove the bed away from the wall to get some space instead. This resulted in the coming loose of the linoleum carpeting that is my floor. It will probably cost me a small fortune to repair the floor.

[Nique]

I have (inadvertently) fed fish with my own vomit. I am but a man!

I've filled the dishwasher with dish soap. The better half of our apartment was covered in bubbles.

[Magic_Marker]

I've filled the dishwasher with dish soap. The better half of our apartment was covered in bubbles.

That stuff I am a pro at! Every 80s sit-com fuck up you can think of. Dropping things, putting fluids into things, bleaching clothes (every time I clean the bathrom :sweatdrop)

I'm kinda known as a disater where I come from.

[Nique]

The Master of Disaster?

[Magic_Marker]

The very same! You know of my work?

[Osterbaum]

Pretty much everything I've ever done on NPF.
This could be summed up to "when I joined NPF".

Me, I fuck up a bit too often. Most of it has to do with social conduct, but to name something more 'technical'; I managed to drop my (then brand new) phone in to a glass of milk. It didn't survive.

[Cati]

Trying to fix my friend's internet, I got the bright idea of putting their N-capable router in N-only mode. Problem was, all the computers I had available to me at the time only had wireless adapters that supported up to G. So, erm, no internets for anyone!

[Nique]

This could be summed up to "when I joined NPF".

I think this could be said of all of us.

I managed to drop my (then brand new) phone in to a glass of milk. It didn't survive.

Thats just, wow. I mean, at first its like, 'ok a common screw up no biggie'. But then when you just think about the logistics of what events have to take place for that to happen it's pretty impressive in all the wrong ways.

It's not even like you spilled the milk onto your phone, you had to have; 1) NOT noticed this huge white blob of liquid I can only assume was within your field of vision but also 2) be unlucky enough to let your phone slip just exactly so that it falls into the glass.

[Donomni]

I actually agreed to go to the Zoo today.

In Florida. In Summer. At 7:30 AM.

I was too tired and baked like a potato to enjoy anything past the first hour or less. I got pretty damned cranky, too.

It was also a day I was supposed to have fun with my mom and sister. Not so much.

[Osterbaum]

Thats just, wow. I mean, at first its like, 'ok a common screw up no biggie'. But then when you just think about the logistics of what events have to take place for that to happen it's pretty impressive in all the wrong ways.

It's not even like you spilled the milk onto your phone, you had to have; 1) NOT noticed this huge white blob of liquid I can only assume was within your field of vision but also 2) be unlucky enough to let your phone slip just exactly so that it falls into the glass.
I was doing too many things at once: eating, talking on the phone, reading and pouring myself a glass of milk.

[Nique]

I don't know why I'm so stuck on this thing but I would have loved to have been there to see that.

[krogothwolf]

So did it just slip outta your hands while pouring? Cause i could see that happening.

I've washed my phone in aa washing machine and dryered it. It did survive oddly enough. Lasted another 6 months till it got turned into a hockey puck and used in street hockey.

[TopHatAssassin]

Taking all my elective courses in second year, resulting in my having to now pull a Cirque-level juggling performance of required courses for my entire program for the last two years of study. Accidentally.

How's that for a sobering mistake. :P

[synkr0nized]

I went to the liquor store today. I bought some stuff. I put it in my car.
I drove home. I got the groceries out of my trunk [ I had gone there first]. I came back to open the passenger-side door, where the bottles were, and immediately the rum fell out onto the pavement, shattering the glass and spilling everywhere.

It took me a moment or three to move and decide that I'd better clean the glass up instead of just angrily mourning the loss of the rum [or wondering how I'd salvage it as it ran downhill]. Waste of good rum and waste of good money :(

Protip established: don't assume things sitting on your passenger seat are firmly in place. Normally I do not and make sure things are secured, especially when they are bottles. I glossed over this today.

[MasterOfMagic]

I've flushed my keys before. That was a doozy.

[Julford Hajime]

I've lost the key to the house I'm renting a room from three times in the last month. In fact, the third time was just yesterday. I move out before the end of the month, and now I'm being accused of selling the keys and need to replace the locks.

[EVILNess]

I got a job in retail.

[CelesJessa]

While working in the deli/bakery I sold a fake Styrofoam cake to someone.


Nobody ever TOLD me those ones were display only! I even called a manager to double check it and he didn't know either!

[Doc ock rokc]

Every time someone moves something with out me knowing i cant find it...even if they moved it into the bowl right next to the spot. (this has happened 34 times)

I was once carrying computers up some stares. triped! and instead of slamming the computers onto the big landing step-thing-thingys and it taking no to minor damage (you know the ones where you have to turn around to the next flight) i turned and let me adsorb the blow...then slid down the stairs and almost broke my legs. then had to continue carrying the computers to the top of the stairs before i could go to get first aid.

[Sithdarth]

Pretty much anytime I do anything I am guaranteed to at some point injure myself. Lately its been centered mostly around Weapons Kata and more specifically my Nunchaku. I've actually essentially punched myself in the eye with them while doing a block that required me to have one hand on each section. That's right I wasn't failing them around just holding them and moving my hands and I still managed to smack myself. (I have since repeated that feat on one other occasion.) This was a couple of weeks after I had given myself a full speed whack to the back of the head. It didn't knock me out but it put me on the floor and messed up the part of my skull directly behind my ear. Then in the past week I've managed to hit myself in the face twice. Once in the mouth and then two days later I missed a catch and got myself all the way from the left eye to my nose.

Other than that there was that time I missed a kick on this heavy bag mounted on a giant spring because I was getting tired. I didn't realize it was hurt bad so I finished the last 10 seconds of that round on the bag and hobbled away. Then I looked down when it really started to hurt and noticed I had pretty much ripped the entire top of my little toe off. At which point I decided I better go get a band aid. After about 20 minutes of bleeding and a drop in blood pressure almost enough to make me pass out it was decided I should probably go to the ER.

[phil_]

Sithdarth is a genius that puts Skynet to shame, as far as I know. He studies martial arts. Am I the only one concerned for the future of mankind, because this clumsy robot-man might just lead the robot revolution to victory?

Maybe I should cyborg myself up to avoid his wrath?

[GARUD]

Nah, it's ok. I've got a Robot version of Stallone who is going to assasinate him in a bit. Just be patient.

Dumbest thing I've done is back in Blue version of Pokemon. Not only did I use my Masterball on a level 3 Pikachu, but I then proceeded to figght Mewtwo and KO him, and then save my game! Luckily for me, MissingNo messed up my brother's game, so I kept his Mewtwo (who was unused) and he just caught another one.

Also, one time, my brother went to the beach, and swam with his phone in his pocket. A $250 phone of great quality, and really difficult for someone to find to buy. I had one too, and it's lasted me for 4 years (and still going strong). He had only had his for 2 weeks.

On numerous occasions, I forgot to take my keys with me, and I have to wait outside until 6pm when my parents get home. Thats about a 3 hour wait.

I once told my year 2 teacher on her farewell that my parents didn't like her. To be fair, she was a whore and a bitch, and she hit the kids. No-one liked her. After I said it, I had realised what I had done and hid in the toilet for 2 hours.

[Mike McC]

Well, I pulled my DS out of the rice, and put it together. The results?

http://i182.photobucket.com/albums/x275/fencershinryuu/Picture012.jpg
http://i182.photobucket.com/albums/x275/fencershinryuu/Picture013.jpg

Top screen still correctly displays everything. Bottom screen still displays everything and retains full touch sensor capabilities. Sound works. Game slot works, plays game properly. Charger works. Buttons work. Haven't tested the GBA slot yet. Haven't tested the Mic yet. No screen flicker. I'm decalring it 95% recovered. All I gotta do is get used to the ugly screen discolorations, if they don't fade over time.

In short, I was lucky, and I don't have to replace it right away to play games.

[Cati]

Top screen still correctly displays everything. Bottom screen still displays everything and retains full touch sensor capabilities. Sound works. Game slot works, plays game properly. Charger works. Buttons work. Haven't tested the GBA slot yet. Haven't tested the Mic yet. No screen flicker. I'm decalring it 95% recovered. All I gotta do is get used to the ugly screen discolorations, if they don't fade over time.

In short, I was lucky, and I don't have to replace it right away to play games.

Congrats!

Just remembered one that my friend did that was funny. She locked her keys in her car, didn't have any spare keys with her. Had to call a locksmith, after about an hour he finally showed up, opened her car, left... and then we discovered she left her headlights on too and the battery was dead. The fortunate thing here is that since I am a complete moron about my headlights and my car battery is dead more often than alive, I carry jumper cables with me, so we just had to waste another half-hour riding a bus to retrieve my car and cables so I could jump hers so she could actually go home.

Of course, two weeks later, we went to a McDonald's way off campus... And guess what I did? Fortunately my headlights were off, but I also locked my cell phone and money in there, much to my annoyance, and the closest spare key I had was an hour away. Since I didn't want to spend the money on a locksmith, I ended up leaving my car in the McDonald's parking lot for three days until my roommate's mom had to come to help pack and brought my key, yay. And it didn't get towed or anything.

[Mike McC]

Whoops spoke too soon. Left it charge for a bit and now it won't power at all. Probably jumped the gun. Probably should have left it in the rice for a few more days. Back in there now on a last ditch effort, but I think I may have been a bit too hasty. Ah well.

Should I stick with the DS Lite, or get a DSi?

No, don't answer that. That's too off topic.

[Osterbaum]

So did it just slip outta your hands while pouring? Cause i could see that happening.
It slipped while I was pouring, but not from my hands. See, I was using my other hand to eat and the other to pour the milk. The phone was between my ear and shoulder.

[mauve]

About two years ago, I was cutting a bagel with a big huge bread knife, the kind with the big serrated edges. I remember thinking to myself that people always said not to cut through something with the blade aimed at your hand. But since I'm a genius, I realized that nothing could go wrong because the bagel was too thick for the knife to cut through without more effort than I was putting in.


Three seconds later the blade was halfway through my pinky finger. I still have a scar.
The sad part is that I learned nothing from the experience.


Oh! And last week I decided to unplug my PS2 using only one hand. The cord got stuck on something, so I adjusted my grip closer to the prongs. I ended up actually grabbing the metal part, which was still plugged in to the wall.

My next thought was something along the lines of "Woah, why'd my hand just go numb HOLY SHIT ELECTRICITY IS PAIN!!!"

[greed]

Today I walked into the bar in my games room wearing shoes(I was in a hurry grabbing stuff so I could go out, I usually don't wear shoes inside. This also meant I was walking very quickly) now without shoes the overhanging cupboard full of booze and glasses at the entrance to the bar is just a few mm short of my head. Wearing shoes, this is no longer the case.

So anyway knocked myself down and got a bigass bump on my forehead that bled for little while and scuffed my elbow landing on the tiles. Plus side now I'm wearing some bandages like a bandanna.

[Meister]

I remember thinking to myself that people always said not to cut through something with the blade aimed at your hand.
My bread knife is sharp enough to handle all kinds of bread but dull enough so I can safely do this, with a little care.

Turns out people I visit have sharper knives.

[Mike McC]

Okay, DS is powering again, so I am doubly goddamned lucky. I'm not pressing my luck again. It's staying in the wonderful, amazing rice for a while this time.

Seriously, guys... if you douse/wash electronics, dry them off as best you can and put them in rice. It might just save them.

Think I'll buy a lotto ticket today :B

On topic, I don't have problems with knives, but pop-top cans, like cat food or tuna.... they have a high probability of shredding a finger in completely illogical ways. You'd think I'd learn to hold the can differently, but no...

[Meister]

I get why the rice, but I'd probably see if I couldn't get my hands on some silica gel. Y'know, the little white paper bags you find packed in with electronics and other goods that need to stay dry? Apparently some brands of cat litter contain it, too.

[Professor Smarmiarty]

Hardware stores should carry some kind fo zeolite or other type of gel which adsorbs moisture far better. But then it depends on whether you want to keep that around or not.

[Mike McC]

Well, being currently pretty broke, the rice will have to do until at least Monday. It's good because it's something most people will have around, so you can still use it while you obtain better stuff. It beats bricking an electronic, that's for sure.

[russianreversal]

If I'd subjected my DS to the same thing I did to my GBA, it would have given up ages ago. That thing's been stepped on, kicked, dropped. It's been sent through trials of fire, water, soap and chocolate (some of which is still in the headphone port). It's missing it's R button and you can barely see the screen for all the scratches but somehow that gameboy still works. All I need to play it is a pencil for the R button and a bright room where I can hold it at just the right angle so I can see the screen. Needless to say, I'm pretty sure they'll have to create a new circle of hell for how I treat electronics (though I've been a lot more careful with my DS, and somehow after 3 months it still good as new).

[Azisien]

It took over a week, but rice saved my girlfriend's blackberry after an unfortunate encounter with a toilet.

[EVILNess]

New Fuck Up:

Accidentally dropped a recliner we were carrying up stairs and it slid down and rolled over my buddy.

He thankfully came out no uglier than he went in..

[Archibald]

I lost the keys to the infirmary, drugs vault, medicine cabinets and the emergency container. Thankfully they were found.. in my jacket.

I documents that I had to hand in that took me at least 2 months to acquire.

[Professor Smarmiarty]

I break a part of my million dollar vacuum chamber pretty much every week- the other weeks it break itself. Man I'm incompetent.

[bluestarultor]

Whoops spoke too soon. Left it charge for a bit and now it won't power at all. Probably jumped the gun. Probably should have left it in the rice for a few more days. Back in there now on a last ditch effort, but I think I may have been a bit too hasty. Ah well.

Should I stick with the DS Lite, or get a DSi?

No, don't answer that. That's too off topic.

Go DSi. Seriously, you may as well with the doubled memory, since it's going to start getting exclusive games.



On my part, there was this HUGE snow storm two winters ago, and I put my keys in my pocket. Or at least I THOUGHT they were all the way in. Turns out they fell out somehow in probably the middle of the parking lot and the snow muffled the sound. They probably plowed the parking lot four times that day, or maybe even more. It was one of two original keys with one of the two original tabs. Nobody has found it or turned it in, so I'm guessing it's gone forever. I had to wait for over a half hour in freezing weather for my family to get there with my brother's set, since the school had finally closed due to "inclement weather."


Edit: reading Mauve's post reminded me of doing much the same thing, with a bagel, no less, but it somehow slipped and got my wrist. I was totally freaking out until I realized it was mostly a flesh wound and I wasn't really bleeding all that much, but I had to go to work in the kitchen washing dishes with it, meaning I was in a room with a couple guys who bagged on me for it the entire night and I couldn't deal with any kind of washing or rinsing. Which meant I had to deal with all the dirty dishes all night. :gonk:

[Mike McC]

Go DSi. Seriously, you may as well with the doubled memory, since it's going to start getting exclusive games.1) I said don't answer that.
2) I already posted that the DS was working again a bit after that post, thus completely nullifying that statement.

As the DS sits in the rice, it is making noticable progress in drying out. So those 'water stains' in the picture I posted earlier are disappearing.

Once I lent my copy of the original PSX Wild Arms to a coworker. Later (after a chance meeting somewhere after we both were fired from Walmart), he said the city declared his apartment abandoned, and took all the stuff out of his apartment, including the game. ... right. I was ;;. I knew the guy was a bit flaky, but I went ahead and lent it to him. Yay me.

[bluestarultor]

1) I said don't answer that.
2) I already posted that the DS was working again a bit after that post, thus completely nullifying that statement.

1) Trying to be nice.
2) Said instinct overrode my desire to read about the horrors afflicting others, and I read the rest of the thread later.


This reminds me, anytime I try to be at all helpful or nice, it usually comes to bite me in the ass. This ranges from trying to express concern over a semi-rival classmate's jaw surgery earning me her patented look (a supreme combination of "you're an idiot" and "you're an ass") to ruining a family's whole day working in the deli by giving a free slice of cheese to an, apparently, deaf infant, causing said infant to cry when he got too absorbed in eating it to sign "thank you" to me and got it taken away. I've never seen anyone go from being so happy because of something I did to scowls that could wilt a cactus being caused by the same action so quickly. I'd say I honestly don't know why I bother anymore, but I do, because it's just my nature to be a helpful and overall honest person.

Gawd, it's like the song in Wicked, though, "no good deed goes unpunished."

[Odjn]

One time while I was cleaning the bar I pulled my finger across a piece of steel wool and cut myself so bad I still have a mark 4 months later.

I once broke a bottle of beer by opening it the right way.

[Frostatine]

I have downloaded RaiRO three times and never gotten it to work.

I think I just won the game.

[Mike McC]

Trying to install RaiRO is a terrible thing in the first place. It never working is some grace of god, and you should count yourself lucky!

[Fenris]

Mike, stop being an asshole.

[Wyndon]

This whole thread just makes me go http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2267/2185066015_81f4f7c89e.jpg.

[PrairieDuck]

The dumbest thing I ever did,was getting my finger stuck in my half-finished can of soda. I should not have been goofing around with it,I had to have a group of people trying to help remove my finger from that can. I finaly became unstuck,but wound up with gashes on my finger.

[A Zarkin' Frood]

some years ago (6, 7, 8, dunno), when I was 14-15ish some friends, my brother and I were tenting in our garden. Being quite hungry we decided to get some pizza from the local restaurant. We live right opposite said restaurant. However, after picking up our pizza one or more of us thought it would be a good idea to take a little detour over the playground. There we were, with no knives or anything sharp, eating parts of our whole Pizzas on the ping pong table, and, I don't know if this is true because I don't remember it, but according to my brother someone decided to urinate on his pizza which is a major screw-up in itself. After some time we decided we should return to our place with what's left of our tasty meal. So, the shortest way goes down a slope and the roots of a nearby tree kinda function as stairs. Or, as I found out, tripwires. After falling down I was lying there, where's my pizza? I didn't know where it was. I also was in pain because my knee was busted open. In a desperate attempt to show humor in that situation, tears in my eyes, I uttered: "When the doctor comes, tell him to save my pizza" Everybody laughed. I'm not sure whether they laughed with me or at me. Luckily I fell right in front of our house, so I could be treated.

Later I was given my Pizza, which was still as edible as it was when we left the ping pong table.

THE END

Okay, that's not fuck-uppy enough because the only things damaged are people and those don't count. AND it was an accident. I fucked up plenty in my life so I ought to be coming up with something.
I once... errr... I once stepped on something and it broke.

Ah yes, when I was very very very young, probably four or five years old I thought it was a very good idea to put the Faxanadu NES Cartridge into a huge bowl of cheese dip and pour some coke into it.

Don't worry people, the game survived and is probably still functioning.
The dip and the cola are gone now.

[Odjn]

Mike, stop being an asshole.

Have you read his posts?

[Meister]

School trip to a city about an hour or so away, by train, to visit the theater. Must have been some ten years ago now. They had lockers for people to put their coats and things in. I put in my coat, took off the key and hooked it up to my keyring. After the play is over there's a big rush as everyone flocks to the lockers and we have to get to the train station, so I dive in, grab my coat and hurry to the exit.

Getting off the train at home I become aware I have no keyring anymore. Shortly afterwards I realize that it held the key to our drama group's prop and costume room. Oops.

Wrote a letter to the theater and luckily they'd found it. Had to go on a two hour (there and back) train ride to spend all of five minutes in the damn city and get my keys back. The next day I went and bought a length of chain that I've been using to attach my keys to my trousers ever since.

[phil_]

Once upon a time, before I learned how to properly secure him, I knocked my 606 off the shelf. While looking for the canopy, I stepped on said canopy, snapping it in half. I was very sad. The canopy is now held together with glue and looks alright, but still, I kinda broke my only Eureka Seven merch. It's sad to me.