#1140: "Surely you must be kidding."

[Kurosen]

Comic is done and uploaded, but minor technical difficulties are keeping me from updating the site. In the meantime, you can read it here (http://www.nuklearpower.com/comics/8-bit-theater/090613.png).

[Ludge]

Wow...all I can say is wow... When will it get put up on the site?

[russianreversal]

I like this plan so far, especially as it's inadvertently taken into account that Sarda would be bored enough to actually do it.

[Meister]

After 1139 comics I finally have officially no idea how to react to this one.

e: what in the world was the other version

[Ludge]

What other version?

[Kurosen]

After 1139 comics I finally have officially no idea how to react to this one.

FINALLY
http://achievements.schrankmonster.de/Achievement.aspx?text=Perplexed%20a%20German

What other version?
I mentioned it on the Twitter (http://twitter.com/bclevinger/status/2148966038). They just ran away. In retrospect, the "a-hole" version is the obvious choice, but the idea that they thought it would do any good at all to simply run away was an incredibly tempting one.

[Nuklear Waste]

And here I thought we couldn't reach new highs of squickyness (or would that be lows?) after the crime against nature gas dragon mention of urine demons Red Mage's transformations.

What other version?
Brian mentioned a different ending on Twitter.

[Moogleking]

First Order of the Stick, No 8-Bit Theatre.

WHAT IS IT WITH COMICS AND ARSEHOLES TODAY!?

[Molotovich]

After giving it some tought I reached several conclusions:

1. The 8-bit world hasn't ended (therefore the doom cult will continue to chant in the 1139 thread, waiting for the REAL 1140 :P)

2. Sarda knows nothing about the future, his plan is as desperate as convincing the LW he KNOWS the future, therefore, making them change their plans (or ways). Why I say this? Because as far as I have seen it, he convinced them to tell him their plans for the future, and if you read very careful, fighter gives the reason why he WILL become a casualty in the future (ie. he will fight the other three, ultimately failing in the end) while the other three really have some evil plans underway.

And now... why this batshit loco theory? it makes a little sense if you follow me into this:

1. LW terrorize world
2. Fighter fights them the best he and his apprentices can, Sarda included (Hey, I said Batshit loco stuff here ok?) Sarda somehow sends WM somewhere else in the first desperate move
3. Fighter & Co. lose, Sarda decides to make a bonehead maneuver and travel back in time to the beginning of the universe in order to unmake/change the LW.
4. Plan A failed, because WM was there first and he cant control the universe, he decides to put plan B in motion (send WM to a pocket dimension), and grows a mustache (right as WM told him to)
5. Billions of years pass, and as we all have witnessed, he meets WM and sends her to a "Pocket dimension" which happens to be outside the universe 4 seconds before its inception.
6. Everything after that happens as it should, then we go back to square 1 (fighter fights the LW, finally fails, Sarda travels to the beggining of time... AGAIN, plan B fails, AGAIN)
7. Goes to Plan C, noticing the LW are morons (fighter included) he now tries to convince them to change, out of fear he will ultimately destroy them because he is an omnipotent jackass...

So, what do you think?

[Kurosen]

And now it's officially live (http://www.nuklearpower.com/2009/06/13/episode-1140-where-the-sun-dont-shine/). Yay!

[POS Industries]

Why is his A-hole green?

[Martyr]

So, uh, how many split seconds does it take for Sardy to zap them back into his cave?

[Meister]

Why is his A-hole green?
Asking this means accepting Red Mage's A-hole as a viable hiding place. I'm not sure if I'm prepared to take that step.

[Mirai Gen]

I'm reasonably confident the next comic will have Red Mage cluelessly explaining what his a-hole is.

That, however, doesn't keep me from reacting much similar to Meister there.

[BB]

I'm guessing (hoping, praying) Red Mage just names his portable holes A, B, C etc. and they are in the Hole named A.

[GARUD]

So Red Mage is to the Light Warriors as Richard Gere is to Gerbils

Huh.

[Super King]

I'm guessing (hoping, praying) Red Mage just names his portable holes A, B, C etc. and they are in the Hole named A.

This is exactly what I hope he means. Either that or Ace in the Hole.

[Si Civa]

Somehow I really don't want to see how they get out from that a-hole, yet I'm interested about it still.

[Super King]

One last thing too. What does Bahamut mean in this comic (http://www.nuklearpower.com/2005/09/13/episode-598-interdimensional-intrigue/)? Do you think he is talking about Sarda and trying to trick him?

[Lemarc]

Okay, that may have seemed like a stupid plan, but it was actually so stupid it looped around and became clever. Sarda is 100% certain that he's going to win, and that the outcome is fixed. They could throw any kind of dumb trick at him and there's at least a decent chance he'd humour them, because hey, he knows he's going to win anyway.

[Mirai Gen]

I'm guessing (hoping, praying) Red Mage just names his portable holes A, B, C etc. and they are in the Hole named A.

It wouldn't be Red Mage if a perfectly innocent conversation wasn't turned into sexual innuendo.

[Nuklear Waste]

Why is his A-hole green?
Maybe it's the a-hole of that monster thing Red Mage was (http://www.nuklearpower.com/2009/01/13/episode-1082-csi-black-mage/).
I'm not sure if that would make the situation better or worse.

[Uchiha Richard]

A thought occurs... If they're in his anatomical A-hole, how is Red Mage there at all, also where is the body this A-hole is part of? If they're in a portable hole, is that hole still on Red Mage's person or did it fall on the ground, in front of Sarda. If it's some other hole, like an 'Ace in the hole,' where is it?

Alternatively, this is some weird location in Onrac (AKA "a hole")

EDIT: Cue the yaoi fan-fiction and homo-erotic references.

[Si Civa]

Wait, now I did'nt get it!
They're in the ass of the roleplayer who plays as RM. He/she stuck all those character miniatures in his/her arse.
Also, the player is one of those green giants.

[Mirai Gen]

EDIT: Cue the yaoi fan-fiction and homo-erotic references.
Mage-feltching?

[Molotovich]

Wait, now I did'nt get it!
They're in the ass of the roleplayer who plays as RM. He/she stuck all those character miniatures in his/her arse.
Also, the player is one of those green giants.

Weren't the giants like completely erradicated?

[Sliths]

I can't believe I waited all morning for this.


Not that it's a bad comic, but what the hell has my life come to?


Serious question: If they're inside his ass, where's his ass? I mean, where is his ass in the universe?

[UndrDog]

Let's not try to understand how RM's mind works. It'd just hurt. More to point, why was Sarda such a jerk (http://www.nuklearpower.com/2009/02/03/episode-1090-not-sunny-d/) toward OK if they are the same person? I'm not entirely certain that Sarda isn't just lying. Like he always is. Actually the more I think about it, the more OK can't be Sarda for the simple reason that Sarda is Sarda.

EDIT: And for the people who really think they are in his anus: Wow.

[Si Civa]

Weren't the giants like completely erradicated?

Dragons were also said to be all dead. It turned to be very different way.
But hard to say, hard to say.

And I totally don't believe my theory, because I really hope that it isn't the case.

[UndrDog]

Oh, and don't call me Shirley.

Surely someone has at least thought of posting that.

[krogothwolf]

I swear Red Mage has some issue. What spell did he use though is what I want to know

[Kurosen]

Serious question: If they're inside his ass, where's his ass? I mean, where is his ass in the universe?
That this question has to be asked is everything you need to know about 8-bit Theater in one sentence.

[Meister]

... you know, that forum description was getting old.

[Katuko]

Let's not try to understand how RM's mind works. It'd just hurt. More to point, why was Sarda such a jerk (http://www.nuklearpower.com/2009/02/03/episode-1090-not-sunny-d/) toward OK if they are the same person? I'm not entirely certain that Sarda isn't just lying. Like he always is. Actually the more I think about it, the more OK can't be Sarda for the simple reason that Sarda is Sarda.

EDIT: And for the people who really think they are in his anus: Wow.

If Onion Kid does not grow up in a jerkass world, he might not become angry enough to want to become the most powerful wizard in the world. If he doesn't, Sarda might cease to exist due to a paradox.

Don't worry, I don't think it's his real asshole. If it was, it would have been spelled out. It's not like there hasn't been more offensive words used in this comic before.

[Inst]

So, did Red Mage warp White Mage into his asshole?

[Kurosen]

It's not like there hasn't been more offensive words used in this comic before.
Red Mage and Fighter tend to avoid potty mouth though.

[A Zarkin' Frood]

... you know, that forum description was getting old.

That's the best thing I've seen in months. Just wow.
I'm actually sitting here laughing out loud while eating some Hanuta waffle thingies.

EDIT: Which is not a good combination.

[Scars Unseen]

So in 1141 I guess we get to find out if Red Mage knows his ass from a hole in the ground.

[Lorpius Prime]

Wow. Even if this fails, the fact that Red Mage even managed to escape Sarda's immediate line of sight means that he came quite a bit closer to success than I expected was possible.

Also, ewww.

[Neni]

IS RED MAGE KIDDING?!

...
I hope he is kidding.
Really, sincerly hope...

This is.... just....

juck.

I'm going to barf now. 77 times in a row.
Excuse me.

[Molotovich]

Oh, and don't call me Shirley.

Surely someone has at least thought of posting that.

Sarda Has, but we all know your name is Elizabeth

[UndrDog]

Ouch.

[Athas]

Can't believe that I spent all morning refreshing and waiting (and wondering why everyone was so quiet on here). I mean I went back after 10 minutes and no new activity.

Any way I don't think its meant literally as his arse. Although I think it is intended to give that impression. I'm guessing he just labels his holes.


Wow that last sentence doesn't actually sound much better does it?

Is Sarada having a solliloquay? I mean who is he talking to?

[A Zarkin' Frood]

Is Sarada having a solliloquay? I mean who is he talking to?
You of course. As the "omnipotent jackass" he surely must be able to break the fourth wall.

[Kurosen]

I assume he's talking to himself. Probably a habit he picked up after billions of years of isolation.

[Fenris]

Why does Red Mage's A-hole look suspiciously like Chocolate Mint Ice Cream?

[Gamer8585]

No, actually I'm quite serious.

And don't call me Shirley.


Edit: Dagnabbit, someone beat me to the punch on that.

[Megatrauma]

I just think RM managed to break the fourth wall and give me a brain aneurysm.


So, basically, Brian perplexed two Germans.

[Scars Unseen]

I just think RM managed to break the fourth wall and give me a brain aneurysm.


So, basically, Brian perplexed two Germans.

There will be no breaking of walls inside the a-hole.

[BigGator5]

If they're inside his ass, where's his ass? I mean, where is his ass in the universe?
This will go in my signature.

[acheron]

what- and wherever Red Mage's A-Hole is, I'm wondering what is possibly motivating him to include Black Mage in his escape plan. You'd think he'd just take Fighter and Thief into his A-Hole (...) and leave Black Mage there for Sarda.

[A Zarkin' Frood]

So, basically, Brian perplexed two Germans.
Three, actually.
As I said in some other post I emptied the contents of my mouth onto my keyboard.

It's clean now.

Related: Two more and you get another achievement.

[bobfish]

Oh, the places you'll go....

[Athas]

This will go in my signature.

Its already the subtitle of the forum. So I think the mods beat you to it.

Its still very quiet here (compared to reciently) what gives?

I feel like graphing the number of posts each comic topic got until the point where BM faced off fighter.

:rolleyes:

[Zinos]

How... the hell is he there?


Or wait... on second thought, i prolly do NOT want to know...

[Sliths]

... you know, that forum description was getting old.

Oh lord, what have I done?

When I came back and saw that as the forum description, I thought it was a glitch.

[Yosarian]

This strip made me laugh for like 10 minutes. Seriously, this is the alpha and omega of all red mage plans.



Serious question: If they're inside his ass, where's his ass? I mean, where is his ass in the universe?

You're clearly forgetting this is Red Mage we're talking about. Infinate regression is a real possibility here . ("Oh, his ass in on the back end of red mage. And red mage is inside of his own ass. Which is on the back end of Red Mage. Who is inside of his own ass. Which is...")

(and yes, I realize he's probably not actually in his own asshole. But he should be...)

[Neni]

So, basically, Brian perplexed two Germans.


And an austrian fangirl with issues! *points to herself*

[Silk]

From Kurosen

I haven't read all these posts, but I have noted a theme of people flipping out about the incongruity between Sarda's "six directions at once" and the latest comic.

Nothing Sarda says in this comic implies that he doesn't know exactly what's going to happen. It's in the tone that he uses when he has previously spoken about knowing the future or being pre-bored of the present. Only in this case, rather than being vague about it, he adds the absolute fact that the Light Warriors are never heard from again.

Not sure what the hubbub is all about.

It's about the fact that the latest comics have said Sarda only knows the future because he experienced it as Onion Kid. That does power him down as compared to what we assumed he was, so it's some important twist and I've got this bad habit of looking for coherency issues. ;)
I'm not saying there is one since the comic has not ended; but here's an illustration (http://www.nuklearpower.com/2008/04/22/episode-982-forward-backward-spiraled-sideways-looped-and-cross-wise/) of my concern.
When Sarda says "What I hate most about talking to you jerks is that I always know what you're going to say.", Onion Kid hasn't met him already and is not present to hear what these jerks are saying (http://www.nuklearpower.com/2008/04/08/episode-976-he-has-one-for-every-occasion/).

I'd need to reread every episode with Sarda but I figured it would be simpler to get an explanation directly from the author :)
I believe there are other examples of this issue than the one I linked, but re-reading everything could also fix my concerns so...hulp?

[Scars Unseen]

Its still very quiet here (compared to reciently) what gives?


Plenty of people read the comic, but I guess they couldn't be arsed to post today.

[Awake]

:bmage: "Where in the Hell are we?"

:rmage: "My A-Hole."

Has Red Mage switched to F.A.T.A.L. mechanics now?

[Amake]

Oh man this thread is hilarious. I'm literally so sweaty from laughing while reading it I'm in danger of falling off my chair.

Ah, Red mage. I vie for the old innocent days of yore when he only got excited about telling everyone how every problem could be solved by. . . how did it go? "Liberal and vigorous application of the animal husbandry skill" every five minutes or so. Now it seems he can't open his mouth without dragging someone's crotch into it.

Turbo edit: Sweet Buddha that's hysterical. I actually didn't see what I said there until after I'd posted it.

[Scars Unseen]

Now it seems he can't open his mouth without dragging someone's crotch into it.

I can't let this comment slip by without an obligatory camel toad post.

http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a325/Godheads_Lament/cameltoadsnk4.jpg

[Molotovich]

Plenty of people read the comic, but I guess they couldn't be arsed to post today.

No, they aren't... maybe because today happens to be saturday and most people I know tend to be either drunk or experiencing hangovers from friday (or the rest of the week, how am I supposed to know) or about to get drunk, or... I think we all get the point right now.

Tactics went to recharge the pipe, we are running out of wind here to come up with even more ludicrous theories about this.

Did I mentioned the comic never ended as was auspiced in the last thread (and I dont repent it hasnt, what kind of doom cult will mine be if the thing we want to end actually does it 1 day from its creation?)

But i really want an explanation that doesnt involve anatomy for the A-Hole thingie, please?

Peace, making preparations to get drunk today :p

[Si Civa]

And an austrian fangirl with issues! *points to herself*

I would say that everybody on Earth has those. Humen, animals, plants, everything. I bet mountains have some serious depression issues as well.
Because otherwise this planet wouldn't be called Earth as much as Happiness. Or Ecstasy.

[Sam878]

So that's where all his plans come from....

Also:
FINALLY
http://achievements.schrankmonster.de/Achievement.aspx?text=Perplexed%20a%20German

This made me laugh as much as the comic itself. Which was a lot. :D

[Zeku]

Is anyone else thinking 'Mother 3' here? It fits with Red Mage's hesitation.

If you don't know how the (second-to-last) bad guy lost in that one, I guess I won't spoil it for you. It's depressing and scary, and it would be kind of appropriate for the light warriors.

[Cati]

I'm guessing (hoping, praying) Red Mage just names his portable holes A, B, C etc. and they are in the Hole named A.

For the sake of my sanity, I'm just going to assume that this (or something similar) is the case so I don't spend the next few days wondering what the hell is up with RM's anatomy.

[Kurosen]

Has Red Mage switched to F.A.T.A.L. mechanics now?
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[Corel]

Has Red Mage switched to F.A.T.A.L. mechanics now?
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Oh god...does the ruleset actually cover Animal Husbandry?

For those who aren't familiar with the F.A.T.A.L. system, take a ganter and be edumacated (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/F.A.T.A.L._(roleplaying_game)).

[Kolgax]

You guys have got this all wrong!

http://img37.imageshack.us/img37/3843/91016025.png

[corronchilejano]

...I wonder, what DOES it stand for?

[Molotovich]

You guys have got this all wrong!

http://img37.imageshack.us/img37/3843/91016025.png

Ludicrous, but I will stick to this one explanation, now which comic this one comes from?

[Awake]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Well, you have to admit it is kind of suspicious. Climbing into your own a-hole to escape is probably a legitimate spell in that game. In fact, IIRC, I read a post that said there was a spell, or maybe just mechanic that allowed you to... you know what? Forget it. There isn't enough fire in the world to kill that game dead enough.

[Dracorion]

Clearly, Red Mage's +1 Panties of Luck also double as a Bag of Infinite Holding.

[Adrian Faust]

You guys have got this all wrong!

http://img37.imageshack.us/img37/3843/91016025.png

http://i71.photobucket.com/albums/i130/blackstardragon/FireShotcapture7-NuklearPowerArchiv.png

Ignore the crappy editing job. All I had to work with was Paint and I was lazy.

[Kolgax]

Ludicrous, but I will stick to this one explanation, now which comic this one comes from?


http://www.nuklearpower.com/2001/05/26/episode-034-introductions-are-in-order/

That one.

[Kolgax]

http://i71.photobucket.com/albums/i130/blackstardragon/FireShotcapture7-NuklearPowerArchiv.png

Ignore the crappy editing job. All I had to work with was Paint and I was lazy.

Hah! I'm of course assuming you were so lazy you forgot the word 'up' in there. ;)

Also...I'm glad no one here has yet mentioned habitrails or landslides yet...

I really hope this is not where the final battle is going to take place...

[Rejected Again]

They are probably just hiding inside Brian somewhere.

[A_Hole]

And an austrian fangirl with issues! *points to herself*

Yeah, make that three germans and two austrians. I read this comic quite a while now, but that...

[Shadow Bunny]

This will go in my signature.

Sig either Meister's reply or Brian's. It's funnier that way.

[KoolKKid]

Why is his A-hole green?


hey ive had crap that was green.

[Harrow]

Serious question: If they're inside his ass, where's his ass? I mean, where is his ass in the universe?

Well, Fighter once put a hole in a hole. it ended up opening up somewhere in the arctic, crushing the real light warriors. Hey, maybe thats going to be the final battle, LW VS RLW

[waw]

It's about the fact that the latest comics have said Sarda only knows the future because he experienced it as Onion Kid. That does power him down as compared to what we assumed he was, so it's some important twist and I've got this bad habit of looking for coherency issues. ;)
I'm not saying there is one since the comic has not ended; but here's an illustration (http://www.nuklearpower.com/2008/04/22/episode-982-forward-backward-spiraled-sideways-looped-and-cross-wise/) of my concern.
When Sarda says "What I hate most about talking to you jerks is that I always know what you're going to say.", Onion Kid hasn't met him already and is not present to hear what these jerks are saying (http://www.nuklearpower.com/2008/04/08/episode-976-he-has-one-for-every-occasion/).

I'd need to reread every episode with Sarda but I figured it would be simpler to get an explanation directly from the author :)
I believe there are other examples of this issue than the one I linked, but re-reading everything could also fix my concerns so...hulp?

I'd like to point out that in this comic he says exists in six directions in time at once.

Has nothing to do with what he sees. The existence question..

man, he sounds like a snot nosed punk who wants to sound super powerful. Like a lil geek kid who took a karate class and thinks he can kick anyone's ass.

[Geminex]

Make that 4 Germans. ^^

I'm assuming that it isn't his real a-hole... Though honestly, it wouldn't surprise me all that much if it were...

As for this:
Serious question: If they're inside his ass, where's his ass? I mean, where is his ass in the universe?
I'm assuming it's inside his ass as well. This is RM we're talking about. Physics don't apply. Hell, logic doesn't apply.

[The Argent Lord]

It occurred to me while reading this comic that, narratively speaking, there is no correct way to respond to someone shouting "Look behind you!" If you look, they were, of course, lying, and take some sort of advantage from your moment of distraction. If you don't, there's probably something actually behind you about to eat you or something.

[Molotovich]

Make that 4 Germans. ^^

I'm assuming that it isn't his real a-hole... Though honestly, it wouldn't surprise me all that much if it were...

As for this:

I'm assuming it's inside his ass as well. This is RM we're talking about. Physics don't apply. Hell, logic doesn't apply.

Red Mage is not Black Belt. Period.

[waw]

True, while he isn't BB, his nonlogic trumps logic at times. he's proven that. It doesn't surprise me that they are inside his own ass, why wouldn't he be able to? he knows every move in the game... it's just an ephed up game.

[Geminex]

"In the arena of logic, I fight unarmed"?

Though I see your point. Red Mage is alive.
Black Belt, on the other hand...

HE'S DEAD!
*racous laughter*
Yeah, I like BM.

[jimlfixit]

As a long time lucker I had to post, such an awesome comic that i had to post. Great comic, but wouldn't Sarda know to not look behind him, I doubt even fighter would fall for that one lol. I mean thats such a standard con. But great con Brian, keep the comics going.

Jim

[AngelFoodBB]

And now BB will come back

[Super King]

Yeah, make that three germans and two austrians. I read this comic quite a while now, but that...

Add a Mexican to that list good sir

[Panthera]

In all the years I've been following 8 Bit, my reactions have ranged from "lol" to "wtf" to "that's pretty clever" and all manner of others, but never before have I simply stopped, stared at the screen and muttered "what". I feel like Sarda must have when he witnessed the dual dual wield wield.

[Kai_Svenson]

Add a Mexican to that list good sir

Am I the only one not perplexed by this? They are in his A-Hole. Stated just as perfectly clear and simplistic as 1/0.

We just have to find out Thursday, as Tuesday will be "skipped" to torture us, if 1/0 is:
1 divided by 0.
1 and 0
1 or 0

[Leon Cross]

So...now they just need to have fighter fold RM's a-hole in on itself?

[Rejected Again]

Serious question: If they're inside his ass, where's his ass? I mean, where is his ass in the universe?

And so it begins. . . .

[superluser]

Hah! I'm of course assuming you were so lazy you forgot the word 'up' in there. ;)

He did not forget the word `up,' or for that matter, `away.'

[Double]

Oh god...does the ruleset actually cover Animal Husbandry?

For those who aren't familiar with the F.A.T.A.L. system, take a ganter and be edumacated (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/F.A.T.A.L._(roleplaying_game)).

What the hell is this

[waw]

wow.

that's messed up.

Red Mage would totally play F.A.T.A.L.

BM might too.

[UndrDog]

What the hell is this

A company not seeing what's wrong with the most heinous kind of "role playing". Kinda like how RM says completely innocent things that would make a sailor blush with shame.

And keep in mind RM isn't a disgusting/corrupt monster like some of his associates. I doubt he'd be interested in F.A.T.A.L.

[Hakuden]

Chocobos would beg to differ.

[Giever]

He did not forget the word `up,' or for that matter, `away.'

You forgot "away" again.

[Satan's Onion]

So it turns out Red Mage's a-hole looks kinda-sorta like a green formica countertop. Just saying.

I wonder what RM's face looks like while he's telling everyone else about his a-hole. I imagine he's pretty pleased with himself. You might even say he's sporting a shit-eating grin...

Yes, I laugh at poop humor. It's a weakness.

Tee hee, "a-hole".

[amot]

I was personally dissapointed that they didn't leave Black Mage behind in hopes that Sarda would just kill him and be sastisfied. It also would have recycled the joke where they did that to BM against the zombie. The A-Hole line was a good one though.

[A_Hole]

Hmm, I have an Idea: Why ask where in the universe his A-hole is, and not when in time it is. If they are really in Red Mages Anus, couldn´t it be that they are in a future or past Version of RM?
Sure, I don´t know how he did that too, but come on... if they are really in his A-hole (the one where no sun shines) I think the question "How did he travel through time?" isn´t as important as "How the hell did they get in there?"

Or.... maybe I should stop talking shit.

[Meister]

four Germans
two Austrians
a Mexican
... and a partridge in a pear tree.

[Grognor]

I see that everyone is completely ignoring the other half of the comic. The plan worked! That is the greatest thing ever. "This is your idea of a plan." Let me tell you, I wasn't surprised one bit when that plan worked. In fact, I knew it would. It had to have worked! Oh, but that didn't stop it from being hilarious. I haven't laughed this much at an 8-Bit strip since amnesia dust as gunpowder.


Also, one more thing. Does any one of you -any one of you- actually believe that there is a chance that they are in Red Mage's actual asshole? I really hope you're joking.

They are probably just hiding inside Brian somewhere.
HA HA HAAA! That there's funny.

[Meister]

Does any one of you actually believe that there is a chance that they are in Red Mage's actual asshole?
It would totally be in line with Red Mage's way of thinking. You got something you don't want people to find, what's the obvious place to hide it? Exactly.

[Wyr]

Damn, of all the uses for Animal Husbandry...

[Cicero]

Kinda like how RM says completely innocent things that would make a sailor blush with shame.

Riiight. Completely innocent. RM doesn't have any weird fetishes (http://www.nuklearpower.com/2006/03/21/episode-675-clarifications/) at all. Nope nope.

[Si Civa]

Riiight. Completely innocent. RM doesn't have any weird fetishes (http://www.nuklearpower.com/2006/03/21/episode-675-clarifications/) at all. Nope nope.

If it only had been link to some Deborah comic, I would have said that every man wants to feel pretty some times, but alas, it was not the case.

Said in falsetto, darling.

[UndrDog]

Riiight. Completely innocent. RM doesn't have any weird fetishes (http://www.nuklearpower.com/2006/03/21/episode-675-clarifications/) at all. Nope nope.

Chocobos would beg to differ.

He was furthering their evolutionary path well past any of their predatory or grazing rivals. Why do people keep bringing this up as if it's somehow a bad thing!?

[Geminex]

All in favor of letting me replace undrdog's limbs with chainsaws, his legs with rocket thrusters, his bones with shock-resistant graphite crystal bars and his eyes with omnisensors say aye!

[Rejected Again]

Semi-Aye. I thing that one arm should be a crossbow so that he can do some psudo-snipeing.

[Flyinsky]

It occurred to me while reading this comic that, narratively speaking, there is no correct way to respond to someone shouting "Look behind you!" If you look, they were, of course, lying, and take some sort of advantage from your moment of distraction. If you don't, there's probably something actually behind you about to eat you or something.

Move quickly sideways. That way you can glance between the region that had been behind you and the shouter at nearly the same time.

[Awake]

wow.

that's messed up.

Red Mage would totally play F.A.T.A.L.

BM might too.

Red Mage would never play F.A.T.A.L..

Black Mage probably invented the game.

[Nuklear Waste]

Red Mage would play F.A.T.A.L..

Thief probably invented the game solely for Red Mage. After looking at Black Mage's face.
There we go.

[Molotovich]

8-bit theatre forums: Where you learn things they way 8-Bit wants to

[Leon Cross]

I had a GM that had, in the past, raped a character or two...literally. So I made a character that had a two bags of holding installed in his a-hole, one facing out to stop said raping, and one facing in to collect bodily wastes.

So...theoretically, if they are in his actual A-hole, he shoved them all in their with logic only befitting extra dimensional spaces, and then had himself come through by having fighter break physics and fold Red Mage into his own A-hole.

I doubt this is the case, but if it were so...thats probably how it would have happened. XD

[OverNineThousand89]

I had a GM that had, in the past, raped a character or two...literally. So I made a character that had a two bags of holding installed in his a-hole, one facing out to stop said raping, and one facing in to collect bodily wastes.

So what you're saying is, you invented a character that never had to poop?

Weird.

In other news, I'm not wearing pants. More on that later.

[Molotovich]

So what you're saying is, you invented a character that never had to poop?

Weird.

In other news, I'm not wearing pants. More on that later.

I will have to pass on this one... and on related news: Me neither, since yesterday. More on that later :D

[UndrDog]

All in favor of letting me replace undrdog's limbs with chainsaws, his legs with rocket thrusters, his bones with shock-resistant graphite crystal bars and his eyes with omnisensors say aye!

Tell me you wouldn't want that! But I'll have to pass. You don't possess RM's mad crochet skills.

[Pip Boy]

Y'know, given how RM has such a way with words (http://www.nuklearpower.com/2009/06/09/episode-1138-use-your-words/), it is very possible that he is referring to some pocket dimension that he simply refers to as "His A-Hole". It also seems very out of character for him to say A-Hole instead of Asshole if he were actually referring to his ass.

Forgive me if this theory has already been posted, but I don't think RM teleported them to where they think he teleported them.

[Scars Unseen]

By the way, you know the best thing about not wearing pants?

EVERYTHING.

[Rejected Again]

Y'know, given how RM has such a way with words (http://www.nuklearpower.com/2009/06/09/episode-1138-use-your-words/), it is very possible that he is referring to some pocket dimension that he simply refers to as "His A-Hole". It also seems very out of character for him to say A-Hole instead of Asshole if he were actually referring to his ass.

Forgive me if this theory has already been posted, but I don't think RM teleported them to where they think he teleported them.

Someone (http://forum.nuklearpower.com/showpost.php?p=939771&postcount=15) had that idea I think.

[Waspinator]

Yeah, I think it's pretty much a given that they're in some kind of pocket dimension and that Red Mage is just really, really bad at naming things.

[tshadowdrag]

So the LWs instead of dealing with Sarda's wrath are now stuck with the dilema that is Red Mage's A-hole? I don't think they got into a better situation at all with that.

[Geminex]

It could be worse. The Dark Warriors could be in there with them.

Tell me you wouldn't want that! But I'll have to pass. You don't possess RM's mad crochet skills.
How am I supposed to get crochet skills if I don't practice?


In other news, I'm not wearing pants. More on that later.
Oh yes, very good. VGcats reference, eh? Yeah, well done. Who needs originality?

[Molotovich]

Forgive me if this theory has already been posted, but I don't think RM teleported them to where they everyone thinks he teleported them.

Corrected, silly question, how do I put a line over text? :sweatdrop Thanks


How am I supposed to get crochet skills if I don't practice?

Do the same thing RM does, reallocate your skill points accordingly in you character sheet, You don't have one? what a pity... for reals :P

[ambthecreative]

This comic makes me laugh EVERY time I read it and I've gone back to read it several times XD.

[waw]

is this where RM sent WM? i know we were all thinking warp but....

[Amake]

In other news, I'm not wearing pants. More on that later. I will have to pass on this one... and on related news: Me neither, since yesterday. More on that later :D Hey, I'm not wearing pants too! We should have like, a club or something.

[Pink Bison]

Red Mage wasn't kidding. And don't call him Shirley.

[TheSparrow]

Just noticed RM is in a different pose in every single panel of that comic.

Also I am starting to worry that I think the same things BM says right before I read what he has to say.

[cwDeici]

I'm just surprised you guys all fell for the magnificant's jackass' act (I'd say half of it).
Seriously, why would anyone believe staunchly believe anything Sarda has to say?

You only have his word for it that he knows everything, etc., and while he obviously knows a great deal he's also a repetetive liar. Even existing in six dimensions at once shouldn't be taken for granted from him, though it seems likely - we humans have at least four, probably five, possibly more.

Though I guess being in them seperately must be quite different, ne?
Still, that doesn't tell us an awful lot about him except that he's planar, which usually denotes more power.

[entrando2]

String theory (supergravity, too... but nobody takes that seriously) states even 11 dimensions exist(it was less before it was fixed)... but some of them are too small!

And you know when a vampire puts his/her own heart inside a glass urn and hide it in a big castle because it's the weak point and this way he/she can prevent to be impaled by a wooden stake...

[cwDeici]

That sounds fun!

A witch made a hero's heart into a necklace once as a reward!

[david_in_perth]

And you know when a vampire puts his/her own heart inside a glass urn and hide it in a big castle because it's the weak point and this way he/she can prevent to be impaled by a wooden stake...

I understand what you're saying about vampires, but I'm not sure what your analogy is. Are you comparing RM's arse to the urn? Or are you talking about Onion Kid? Or something else? Am I just being thick? Do I even know what I'm talking about? Why are we here? What is the meaning of life? How many jelly beans ARE there in that jar?

[Revdarian]

Heh, after investigating more about that FATAL game system i didn't find it half as bad as people make it out to be...

It doesn't delve as much in sex as they try to say...

To the math behind it, i can relate, in the sense that when someone annoys the crap out of me about a given solution not being "accurate enough" i go out of my ways to find the perfect math solution to the problem at hand, even if it is worthless for real life application...

So in the end a game system that "accurately reflects real life", but in doing so it stops being funny for me :-P

http://wiki.rpg.net/index.php/FATALReviewRebuttal

^^ Fatal's original review is inside the rebuttal, and they do have points in the rebuttal, although i still wouldn't play on that system.


RM would actually love the FATAL system due to the same crazy accuracy for some crap tho, and the ammount of stats and how he could prolly had learned a thing of two watching those chocobos mate if he had the proper type of job...

ohh god >.<, RM created FATAL indeed...


And yar the A-Hole must be one of his portable holes or something.

[Teamkill]

I understand what you're saying about vampires, but I'm not sure what your analogy is. Are you comparing RM's arse to the urn? Or are you talking about Onion Kid? Or something else? Am I just being thick? Do I even know what I'm talking about? Why are we here? What is the meaning of life? How many jelly beans ARE there in that jar?

Your answer to all these questions is: 42

[Meister]

I read, or more accurately, skimmed the FATAL rules the other day. They are a thousand pages long and at one point there is a reference to "rolling 1d10,000,000." I guess all the D&D books an average group uses are way more than a thousand pages altogether, but they don't tend to focus on descriptions of medieval life and random charts for nostril diameter as much.

[Pip Boy]

Your answer to all these questions is: 42

No, he mostly just lurks in yaplet now.

[Kikero]

Your answer to all these questions is: 42
No, no, no. You're doing it wrong. 42 is the answer, but we don't know the question.

[Molotovich]

I understand what you're saying about vampires, but I'm not sure what your analogy is. Are you comparing RM's arse to the urn? Or are you talking about Onion Kid? Or something else? Am I just being thick? Do I even know what I'm talking about? Why are we here? What is the meaning of life? How many jelly beans ARE there in that jar?

[Removed due problems] Ok people, lets get on with our lives.

No, no, no. You're doing it wrong. 42 is the answer, but we don't know the question.

And what if the question about the jellybeans is, in fact, the question 42 answers to?

Dun dun dun!

[Kikero]

And what if the question about the jellybeans is, in fact, the question 42 answers to?

Dun dun dun!
Then it is a very small jar. Or very empty one.

[Teamkill]

And what if the question about the jellybeans is, in fact, the question 42 answers to?

Dun dun dun!

What if? I'd say it's a pretty big understatement of the use of 42. Of course 42 is the answer to any jellybeans question, along with any quantum mechanics problem solution.

Ask google calculator yourself :

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=the+answer+to+life%2C+the+universe+and+everythin g&btnG=Search&aq=f&oq=&aqi=g10

[Grognor]

... and a partridge in a pear tree.

is this where RM sent WM? i know we were all thinking warp but....

No. The spell "Exit" takes its recipients to the entrance of a dungeon. So unless he completely changed the rules of that spell, (which, admittedly, is something he might do [but has shown no indication that he has done so]), then White Mage is just somewhere near the outside of the Temple of Fiends, possibly healed and walking around.

[Fenris]

Sorry, you lost me at the part where you were being very stupid (http://www.nuklearpower.com/2009/01/03/episode-1078-trickery-trickery-trickery/)

Quoting 8-bit does not give you the right to brazenly insult another forum member like that. Please refrain from doing that again.

[Lost in Time]

So, is his A-Hole the same as his B-Hole? And just be glad it isn't in his C-Hole, that'd really raise questions.:gonk:

[Bard The 5th LW]

this whole comic has warped my whole sense of being

nothing means anything any more

life is an endless torrent of confused paranoia and superstition

[Rejected Again]

Don't let black cats cross you while walking under a ladder inside with an open umbrella on Friday the 13th.

[waw]

Open umbrellas oly matter if it's inside.

[Si Civa]

He didn't say it was outside though! :|
And all that is done while walking or more like jumping on mirrors I would bet.

Edit: Bloody hell matey, there was inside actually and I too didn't see it.

[deimon]

Don't let black cats cross you while walking under a ladder inside with an open umbrella on Friday the 13th.

with a pie.... and the pie is also evil

If they're inside his ass, where's his ass? I mean, where is his ass in the universe?

Now it seems he can't open his mouth without dragging someone's crotch into it.

for those who still dont understand the stable time loop theory just repeat these two quotes over and over again untill your head explodes (those having troble with internal combustion may replace ass with crotch and crotch with ass randomly)

if all else fails have a friend read you this "I'm a drownball champ"

[Molotovich]

Deimon... arent you Sarda in disguise?

[deimon]

Deimon... arent you Sarda in disguise?

Ahh. head strong I see

just drink 2 liter of acid(not mountain dew) and call me if your not dead by morning

...also, I deny nothing



Edit: did I say dead I meen.... better..... yes, better

[Whack Mage]

I can't believe that nobody has mentioned RM is inside his own ass only through his own asstral projection.

I can't wait to see the startling conclusion!

[Edogaa]

I can't believe that nobody has mentioned RM is inside his own ass only through his own asstral projection.

I can't wait to see the startling conclusion!


I was about to say that would require him to physically be IN FRONT of sarda, or hidden in a corner somewhere considering how long it took him to turn around. But, I just noticed the extra S, so I'll ignore this.


Let's not try to understand how RM's mind works. It'd just hurt. More to point, why was Sarda such a jerk (http://www.nuklearpower.com/2009/02/03/episode-1090-not-sunny-d/) toward OK if they are the same person? I'm not entirely certain that Sarda isn't just lying. Like he always is. Actually the more I think about it, the more OK can't be Sarda for the simple reason that Sarda is Sarda.

EDIT: And for the people who really think they are in his anus: Wow.


Its because he already knew his life story since he was him and didn't give a damn. And he does treat Onion Kid considerably nicer than he treats everyone else, but he is still an asshole. Maybe he just likes abusing himself? o.o;

Edit:Then again, he has treated Fighter nicely too :/

[Geminex]

*Bad thought*
*BAAAD mental image*

No. Just... no. You're worse than RM. Hell, you could give BM nightmares.

[Ti-Phil]

I can't believe that nobody has mentioned RM is inside his own ass only through his own asstral projection.

I can't wait to see the startling conclusion!

Asstral projection? Something smells in this theory.

[Kepor]

Asking this means accepting Red Mage's A-hole as a viable hiding place. I'm not sure if I'm prepared to take that step.

Warning: reading 8-Bit Theater may cause you to consider things you would not have previously considered considering.

[Lady Fire Dove]

It occurred to me while reading this comic that, narratively speaking, there is no correct way to respond to someone shouting "Look behind you!" If you look, they were, of course, lying, and take some sort of advantage from your moment of distraction. If you don't, there's probably something actually behind you about to eat you or something.

I was thinking the same thing when I read it. Danged if you do and danged if you don't...

Move quickly sideways. That way you can glance between the region that had been behind you and the shouter at nearly the same time.

That could work... until the random giant beast that was over in THAT direction eats you.

Hey, I'm not wearing pants too! We should have like, a club or something.

Maybe there should instead be a club for the few people who actually bother wearing pants while posting here. (I don't know any.)

[bluestarultor]

Maybe there should instead be a club for the few people who actually bother wearing pants while posting here. (I don't know any.)

I do. But there are very few times I'm NOT wearing pants. Most of these times involve me under a stream of hot water and a back brush (seriously, a little piece of Heaven on the end of a stick :D ).

Other notable times include the rare occasions I visit a pool, which I haven't done in... 2, 3 years or so.

Past that, I am not a shorts person, so you'll find me in long pants, winter or summer, regardless of whether I'm in Wisconsin, Arizona, or elsewhere.



On topic: not having read all 17 pages of this thread (man, people are posting a lot more than I remember in these), it strikes me as an odd choice to remove oneself from reality when the means of doing so have seemingly collapsed. How are they supposed to get out?