I got a pm from a "Fantastico Girl" - 'cause I'm awesome.

[Nique]

Man I am such a stud. I'm just like, enticing all these hot fantastico girls to the forums. Check it:



Hi I am Fantastico Girl

I read your posts and opinions you are very sexy intellectually for me.

You can undress me or I can be your slave here
For one day or for a week.


Come Nique:
http****(Yeah I'm not gonna put that here)


Spent your time not your money.


She obviously respects my sexy intellect, and she totally wants me for who I am, and not my money. You guys could learn something from her.

[Green Spanner]

The first thing that came to my mind was this (http://www.cracked.com/article/234_the-spambot-who-seduced-me-true-story-forbidden-love/).

[Loyal]

Yeah, I got one of those too. I was going to make a thread on the matter, but the person in question was banned before I even hit the New Thread button so I figured I'd leave it alone.

[Daimo Mac, The Blue Light of Hope]

*looks at PM box in hope*

*is let down*


T_T

[Whomper]

Me too, Mac... me too. T_T

[Loyal]

Trust me when I say that having creepy internet stalker girls is overrated.

[Azisien]

I got one too.

Obviously she hasn't read my posts.

[Green Spanner]

Yeah, I got one of those too.

I got one too.

Damn, Nique, looks like your new girlfriend is like the village bicycle.

[Sky Warrior Bob]

Man I am such a stud. I'm just like, enticing all these hot fantastico girls to the forums. Check it:



She obviously respects my sexy intellect, and she totally wants me for who I am, and not my money. You guys could learn something from her.

Don't flatter yourself, she sent me the same PM. Trust me, if she thinks I'm intellectually sexy, well... I question her sanity.

And if she's putting you in the same category as me, well you must be doing something seriously wrong.

SWB

[Mesden]

Damn, Nique, looks like your new girlfriend is like the village bicycle.

Reliable and sturdy!

[Kyanbu The Legend]

I get emails like this every now and then. I kind of feel bad that I almost thought it was a real e-mail form someone the first time. (I told them I wasn't interested).

These spam bots are starting to creep me the fuck out now.

[MasterOfMagic]

Oh man, I got it too.

Such a good ride.

[Nique]

But... but I'm 'very intelectual sexy'! :(

I guess a webcomic forum is a good place for luring people into this sort of thing though? Like, maybe this is how people in a bad financial situation get suckered into those email scams - this sense of unbelivable despair and false hope. It's like 'let's appeal to the inflated yet fragile ego of internet nerds and promise them *gasp and awe* girlfriends. Foreign girlfriends'. The only thing to make it more perfect is if she was Asian.

[krogothwolf]

She seems to be sending them to the more questionable members :P I question her sanity and her mental abilities.

[Bob The Mercenary]

Beats getting spam mail like "Hey! We heard your penis is too small! You can use this!"

Though sorry guys, I'm her only true match. In that I am annoying, artificial and promise big things only to deliver disappointment.

[krogothwolf]

Beats getting spam mail like "Hey! We heard your penis is too small! You can use this!"

Though sorry guys, I'm her only true match. In that I am annoying, artificial and promise big things only to deliver disappointment.

Your the NY Jets?

[Truce]

You guys all blame the spambots - but you never think about how you guys are always showing your sexy threads.

Really, at least half of the fault is yours!

[Fifthfiend]

Man I am such a stud. I'm just like, enticing all these hot fantastico girls to the forums. Check it:



She obviously respects my sexy intellect, and she totally wants me for who I am, and not my money. You guys could learn something from her.

Does your wife know what you're getting up to here?

[Kyanbu The Legend]

You guys all blame the spambots - but you never think about how you guys are always showing your sexy threads.

Really, at least half of the fault is yours!

Hey some of us can't help it. It just happens.

[Loyal]

You guys all blame the spambots - but you never think about how you guys are always showing your sexy threads.

Really, at least half of the fault is yours!So I'm officially sexy then.

Good to know.

[Nique]

Does your wife know what you're getting up to here?

Frankly, it wouldn't surprise me if she was the one who started the whole thing.

[Bob The Mercenary]

Your the NY Jets?

No. If I were the NY Jets I would also be in hospice.

[POS Industries]

Reliable and sturdy!
With a hint of rust and not enough air in the tires.

[Fifthfiend]

Just needs a quick pump to get rolling.

[Aerozord]

gotta feel sorry for those poor girls that actually try to meet someone this way. Though despite agreeing that intellegence is sexy, still wouldn't date someone that uses the term sexy intellectually

kinda makes me wonder how many female members got this

[mauve]

kinda makes me wonder how many female members got this
I got one.

[BitVyper]

I just think you all have very sexy brains. What's wrong with that?

Warm... moist... delicious brains...

Please meet me in alley behind 7/11 for sexy time.

[Raiden]

I got one too.

Man, didn't get anything for the months I was gone, but I'm back for less than a week and suddenly I'm getting sex PMs.

Nuklear Power knows how to treat its members.

[Sky Warrior Bob]

I just think you all have very sexy brains. What's wrong with that?

Warm... moist... delicious brains...

Please meet me in alley behind 7/11 for sexy time.

Re: Your Brains? (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OARmqz48Mh0)

[Nique]

Just needs a quick pump to get rolling.

Bicycle races are coming your way
So forget all your duties, oh yeah!
Fat bottomed girls they'll be riding today
So look out for those beauties, oh yeah!
On your marks get set go!

[Rejected Again]

Nuklear Power knows how to treat its members.

With extreme hostility, and a large amount of Admin trolling?

[Premmy]

Just needs a quick pump to get rolling.
What about the worn-out seat?

[Kyanbu The Legend]

What about the worn-out seat?

Nothing a little shining won't fix.

[Premmy]

I think you mean waxing.

[Sky Warrior Bob]

Nothing a little shining won't fix.

I think you mean waxing.

Maybe he meant it in a "Here's Johnny!" sort of way.

SWB
- As in The Shining (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Shining_(film)).

Never mind.

[Premmy]

I......di....wha...
The Hell?

[Sky Warrior Bob]

Sorry, for some reason my brain is completely forgetting that the movie The Shining was a horror story. I only remember the Ed McMahon line and associate the whole movie with the Johnny Carson show. And I can only remember the 'Here's Johnny' line as spoken by Ed.

Not to say that I'm making a whole lot of sense here either, but in my defense I'm not exactly thinking too clear at my end of day.

SWB

[Krylo]

Sorry, for some reason my brain is completely forgetting that the movie The Shining was a horror story. I only remember the Ed McMahon line and associate the whole movie with the Johnny Carson show. And I can only remember the 'Here's Johnny' line as spoken by Ed.

Not to say that I'm making a whole lot of sense here either, but in my defense I'm not exactly thinking too clear at my end of day.

SWB

Nique, this is what your mystery girl finds 'very sexy intellectually'.

Welp.

[Premmy]

Sorry, for some reason my brain is completely forgetting that the movie The Shining was a horror story. I only remember the Ed McMahon line and associate the whole movie with the Johnny Carson show. And I can only remember the 'Here's Johnny' line as spoken by Ed.

Not to say that I'm making a whole lot of sense here either, but in my defense I'm not exactly thinking too clear at my end of day.

SWB
and now our extended Bike/whore metaphor is ruined and I've had an aneurism. Thanks a lot.

[Sky Warrior Bob]

Krylo, I could not have put that better myself, well except in the way I just did. Premonitions, glad to be of service.

SWB
= And for the record, I think I was going for a innuendo based on his 'Little Johnny', but I'm not even sure any more.

[Karrrrrrrrrrrresche]

Nique, this is what your mystery girl finds 'very sexy intellectually'.

Welp.

Krylo, this...

Well, just...Krylo. Goddamn, Krylo.
Goddamn.

[Bob The Mercenary]

Questions first arose when I was put on the same intellectual platform as Krylo. From that point I knew this was a farce.

[Krylo]

You never were.

I never got a message.

[Premmy]

Ohhh shit!
Bob>Krylo on a Intellectualy Sexy scale?

[Bob The Mercenary]

So...you're saying my intellectual sexiness outdoes yours, as rated by an internet bot?

That may very well be my only accomplishment in life.

[Premmy]

It's okay Krylo, I'd fuck your brains.

[Krylo]

I wouldn't get too excited. It was this one, remember (http://forum.nuklearpower.com/showpost.php?p=998144&postcount=38).

[Premmy]

I wouldn't get too excited. It was this one, remember (http://forum.nuklearpower.com/showpost.php?p=998144&postcount=38).

Yeah, but, I mean, You're still Krylo so it tips in his favor.

[Raiden]

"Hey baby. Someone on the internet thinks I'm a sexy intellectual."

[phil_]

I'm just chiming in as one of the those who can be described as "sexy intellectually." Spam bot's got taste, I tell you what.

[Toastburner B]

I got one, too.

That means we can summarily dismiss this particular spambot's opinion of intellect.

[Daimo Mac, The Blue Light of Hope]

I'm just chiming in as one of the those who can be described as "sexy intellectually." Spam bot's got no taste, I tell you what.

.

[Darth SS]

I was described as a sexy intellectual by this unknown vixen of the net. 1/3 of my posts since returning from the abyss are about novelty spoons.

Girl's got taste.

[shiney]

Anyone who hasn't gotten a PM, you're SOL, 'cause BANT. You leftovers are Not Awesome.

[Fifthfiend]

My dream of finding love via non-stop internet forum posting is thwarted once again.

[Darth SS]

My dream of finding love via non-stop internet forum posting is thwarted once again.

I love you.

[Magus]

Sorry, for some reason my brain is completely forgetting that the movie The Shining was a horror story. I only remember the Ed McMahon line and associate the whole movie with the Johnny Carson show. And I can only remember the 'Here's Johnny' line as spoken by Ed.

Not to say that I'm making a whole lot of sense here either, but in my defense I'm not exactly thinking too clear at my end of day.

SWB

And for the record, I think I was going for a innuendo based on his 'Little Johnny', but I'm not even sure any more.

Don't worry, trying to include way too many impossibly vague connections in one joke is something the average New Yorker comic artist does all the time.

Observe:

http://img199.imageshack.us/img199/1857/image1mc.jpg

The reader is asked to:
1. Read the quote and relate it to the cat in the picture.
2. Realize that this is the Cat in the Hat.
3. Realize that for whatever reason he is missing his hat.
4. View the ladies exclamation as one of anger and dismay.
5. See the policemen escorting the Cat in the Hat without his hat.
6. Connect that he has apparently done something criminal to be escorted by the police.
7. Connect that the lady told the police that the vandal which committed the crime against her was wearing a hat.
8. That the vandal was the Cat in the Hat who is not currently wearing his hat.
9. That the police will maybe doubt the woman's testimony that this is indeed the correct cat because she said he was wearing a hat and now he is not.
10. Blow out their brains at this incomprehensible mess of a joke attempting to be made here.

Moral of the story: no matter how horribly you scramble a joke, you can't do worse than people who get paid hundreds of dollars for their incomprehensible comics.

EDIT: Oh, no, wait a sec, she means that they brought the wrong cat because the cat that committed the crime was wearing a hat. Or something. I honestly don't know anymore.

Anyway, my point stands because it took me way too long to get this joke, which means its a bad joke. But people have complained about the New Yorker for years.

[greed]

Just needs a quick pump to get rolling.With a hint of rust and not enough air in the tires.
Damn, Nique, looks like your new girlfriend is like the village bicycle.
Reliable and sturdy!

Creaks when she moves and has a possum living inside her.

[Bob The Mercenary]

*comic*

I thought it said, "He had a bat!" Then I questioned why the woman wasn't visibly injured and why a cat would assault her in the first place.

[Krylo]

That IS what she's saying.

The joke is that she said "He had a bat" to the police, who misunderstood it as "He had a hat" and then arrested the cat in the hat.

[Archbio]

Moral of the story: no matter how horribly you scramble a joke, you can't do worse than people who get paid hundreds of dollars for their incomprehensible comics.

One does not dissect gossamer.

[Bob The Mercenary]

That IS what she's saying.

The joke is that she said "He had a bat" to the police, who misunderstood it as "He had a hat" and then arrested the cat in the hat.

I'm pretty sure I'm the one who got it wrong. Those "h"s are exactly alike to the pixel.

Anyway, back to the topic...SHINEY WHY DID YOU BAN THE ONLY HOPE OF ME EVER REPRODUCING!?

Or, maybe he's just playing damage control.

[Daimo Mac, The Blue Light of Hope]

I'm pretty sure I'm the one who got it wrong. Those "h"s are exactly alike to the pixel.

Anyway, back to the topic...SHINEY WHY DID YOU BAN THE ONLY HOPE OF ME EVER REPRODUCING!?



He was doing the world a favour. Bob, ya know I only kid cause I love ^^;;

[Professor Smarmiarty]

I got one too. Cause everyone loves me.

[Magus]

That IS what she's saying.

The joke is that she said "He had a bat" to the police, who misunderstood it as "He had a hat" and then arrested the cat in the hat.

Holy God the New Yorker's comics are awful. I think they take pride in confusing the hell out of people now, they're basically parodying themselves at this point, because, yeah it's actually hat but that explanation makes as much sense as anything else people could come up with.

[Mirai Gen]

I saw this one on the table at work, and I have absolutely no idea what the hell it's trying to say. I apologize for the shitty cameraphone picture taken.

[Wigmund]

Creaks when she moves and has a possum living inside her.

Thought that was another animal in there (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I-m2MYRm0-o).

[Magus]

I saw this one on the table at work, and I have absolutely no idea what the hell it's trying to say. I apologize for the shitty cameraphone picture taken.

That doesn't seem like a New Yorker comic, since I got it immediately: one of the children ate the cat, and the father asks them which one. This is comical since obviously the demon child with horns is the one that ate the cat. There's no need to ask the question. The father is dumb.

If that is a New Yorker comic it is the best one they ever produced ever.

EDIT: That doesn't change its inherent corniness and bare-level of amusement, of course, but it makes sense. A real New Yorker comic makes no sense and continues making no sense until maybe like a week later when you come up with a logical conclusion, but in retrospect after another week, no, that really doesn't make any sense either.

[Satan's Onion]

Aw, I never got one of these. Nobody's ever called me intellectually sexy. It almost makes me kind of :( .

Maybe if I wrote more stuff like this (http://www.nuklearpedia.com/doku.php?id=colors_of_magic_colors_of_love).

[Geminex]

Wait, what's the difference between intellectually sexy and sexily intellectual?

[BitVyper]

Aw, I never got one of these. Nobody's ever called me intellectually sexy. It almost makes me kind of :( .

Maybe if I wrote more stuff like this (http://www.nuklearpedia.com/doku.php?id=colors_of_magic_colors_of_love).

Having Granny Goodness' image associated with you immeediately lowers your sexy points to negative a million.

[Satan's Onion]

Having Granny Goodness' image associated with you immeediately lowers your sexy points to negative a million.

Whereas Tucker Carlson and his bowtie cause spontaneous orgasms in everyone who sets eyes on them. Well, of course =P .

[Meister]

A fondness for and nigh encyclopedic knowledge of British sitcoms is intellectually sexy. http://forum.nuklearpower.com/picture.php?albumid=11&pictureid=24

[Bob The Mercenary]

Wait, what's the difference between intellectually sexy and sexily intellectual?

One of them involves a word that doesn't exist.

[Raiden]

Look, look. We can argue all we want about this, or realize that those who had received PMs are chosen by the machines as the true Next Generation and will be saved from the oncoming Robot Apocalypse in order to breed new humans to use as slaves.

Obviously.

[Bob The Mercenary]

Fuck, at this point I'll do all the breeding they want me to do.

I for one welcome our new intellectualy sexy overlords.

[Osterbaum]

I got the same PM as the OP.

Of Fantastico Girl, the times we had... *sigh*

[Melfice]

Anyway, back to the topic...SHINEY WHY DID YOU BAN THE ONLY HOPE OF ME EVER REPRODUCING!?

Or, maybe he's just playing damage control.

Yo. I forwarded mine to Shiney.
Figured he'd want to know about it.

Couldn't let all the lower class people get one too by mistake.
Could you imagine the joke that would be?

[Osterbaum]

Couldn't let all the lower class people get one too by mistake.
Could you imagine the joke that would be?
Seems to me the joke already happened when you got one.

[Bob The Mercenary]

Ooh burn! You's cold as ice! Cold as ICE!

[Kyanbu The Legend]

Look, look. We can argue all we want about this, or realize that those who had received PMs are chosen by the machines as the true Next Generation and will be saved from the oncoming Robot Apocalypse in order to breed new humans to use as slaves.

Obviously.

I keep an army of super robots underneath my house in case of Robot Apocalypse. Unless all of those bots go rogue, a Robot Apocalypse ain't gonna happen.

[KeienSlayer]

So you're going to stop the Robot Apocalypse, unless your Robots are the ones causing it?

I don't know why but that sounds like a horrible plan. Maybe coffee instills cynicism.

[Nique]

We've hit Zombies and Robots so far, we need to find someway to include vampires and werewolves in this.

[Mirai Gen]

COM;COL?

[Geminex]

RM gets an e-mail from fantastico boy, prompting a passionate affair over the internet, until BM finds out about it. After an emotional argument, thief steps in and persuades BM to simply pay more attention to RM's ingeneuity and call him "intelectual sexy" once in a while to show that he appreciates him.

[Osterbaum]

Ooh burn! You's cold as ice! Cold as ICE!
Chika chika mmpa aah. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lDNOs-hGyvk&feature=related)