View Full Version : Did Twilight not creep you out enough?
Mirai Gen
03-07-2010, 03:13 AM
Here then, why not have this? (http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=34043966)
Speaking of soap, I need to find something that can get rid of the skeezy feeling I've got right now.
Krylo
03-07-2010, 03:28 AM
...Was posting a link to what appears to be... vagina soap a good idea?
Edit: Nevermind. Just noticed the tags.
"Sparklesnatch."
This is now the best soap ever.
Token
03-07-2010, 10:32 AM
Not particularly work safe, (http://www.toplessrobot.com/2009/08/battle_of_the_insanely_awful_twilight_merchandise. php) but then again, neither was the sparklesnatch*.
*and on that note, now I feel dirty for having sparkles in my signature.
TopHatAssassin
03-07-2010, 11:27 AM
Oh the fun one could have with the sparklesnatch and the vamp. And only for a mere $43!
Mike McC
03-07-2010, 11:37 AM
I'll put these here, early on in the thread, as sort of a palate cleanser for the horrors to come and the horrors already here.
Alex Reads Twilight: Chapter 1 (http://youtube.com/watch?v=2L253VLwH3w)
Alex Reads Twilight: Chapter 2 (http://youtube.com/watch?v=E2Hwv1EbCkk)
Alex Reads Twilight: Chapters 3 & 4 (http://youtube.com/watch?v=Lgo7pWsxLbo)
Alex Reads Twilight: Chapters 5 & 6 (http://youtube.com/watch?v=kbCiJrElKNA)
Alex Reads Twilight: Chapter 7 (http://youtube.com/watch?v=mVvIOoMvXVM)
Alex Reads Twilight: Chapters 8 & 9 (http://youtube.com/watch?v=CCLnx_t98lc)
Enjoy.
Shyria Dracnoir
03-07-2010, 11:49 AM
...Was posting a link to what appears to be... vagina soap a good idea?
Wouldn't that STING though? Like getting soap in your eye only somewhere you REALLY don't want to be feeling that kind of thing?
/stuff like this only serves to validate my psueo-asexuality
Mike McC
03-07-2010, 11:57 AM
Wouldn't that STING though? Like getting soap in your eye only somewhere you REALLY don't want to be feeling that kind of thing?
/stuff like this only serves to validate my psueo-asexualityI think...
I think you took the wrong interpretation of that phrase.
There is no sparklepeen, there is only the cold dead peen.
This is the worst soap ever.
Wouldn't that STING though? Like getting soap in your eye only somewhere you REALLY don't want to be feeling that kind of thing?
/stuff like this only serves to validate my psueo-asexuality
That's not how anything in this post works.
Mike McC
03-07-2010, 02:08 PM
That's not how anything in this post works.It also raises... you know what? Nevermind.
That's not how anything in this post works.Yeah, I think I'm going to want a follow-up clarification on that...
Shyria, do you really think that getting soap in the crotch is painful to a girl? What is your justification for that assertion?
Bells
03-07-2010, 03:51 PM
i'm going to place this link right here... it's barely NSFW, but i'll leave to the mods to remove it or not... can't really see anything "over the line" in the image...
http://static.thehollywoodgossip.com/images/gallery/twilight-porn.jpg
Kyanbu The Legend
03-07-2010, 04:03 PM
Saw it coming.
Mirai Gen
03-07-2010, 04:14 PM
Not particularly work safe. (http://www.toplessrobot.com/2009/08/battle_of_the_insanely_awful_twilight_merchandise. php)
Hahaha a Twilight dildo.
"Throw it in the freezer for the authentic experience!"
Gold.
Funka Genocide
03-07-2010, 04:38 PM
I don't understand why you would shape soap like a vagina.
I mean I guess vaginas are pretty cool (like, real ones) but I don't necessarily need to see one that's been cast in alabaster and disembodied from the rest of the lady. Not to mention the fact that once you actually use the soap it will start to lose its shape and begin to look like some horribly irradiated mutant vagina from the Fallout series and I mean really... unless you're a super mutant you probably don't want to see that at all.
"Throw it in the freezer for the authentic experience!"I've got a question.....it's mildly inappropriate but then again so is most of this thread so it should be par for the course...
So ladies. Iced up sex toys? What the hell? Your internal temperature regulation device is already messed up beyond belief what with you always being cold all the time. You also seem to not like that whole "being cold" thing so why jam a frozen spike up your nether bits? I'm confused.
Funka Genocide
03-07-2010, 04:41 PM
Are you actually asking the "ladies" present here on the forum?
Because I'm willing to bet none of them would buy that thing.
Meister
03-07-2010, 04:44 PM
I don't understand why you would shape soap like a vagina.
It's not about the soap, it's just that handmade articles and vagina imagery go together like peanut butter and chocolate and if you happen to be making soap, well there you go. Anyone got the link to the vagina handbags? Perfect proof.
Are you actually asking the "ladies" present here on the forum?
Eh, the ladies or NonCon.
Funka Genocide
03-07-2010, 04:47 PM
Well to each their own I suppose, there's got to be some kind of radical feminist angle to it somewhere. Fighting the demonization of women with the forceful presentation of vaginal imagery to counterbalance the obviously phallic basis of our modern culture...
actually they might have a point, carry on then.
Mike McC
03-07-2010, 04:51 PM
Anyone got the link to the vagina handbags? Perfect proof.No, but there is a woman who makes pendants modeled after your snatch, among other things. (VulvaLoveLovely's Shop (http://www.etsy.com/shop/VulvaLoveLovely)) (NWS I guess if anyone didn't already guess)
Man Etsy's got eveything!
Mike McC
03-07-2010, 04:55 PM
Which is why we also have Regretsy (http://www.regretsy.com/) to catalog it's wonders.
They even have a Twilight (http://www.regretsy.com/category/twilight/) category.
Mirai Gen
03-07-2010, 05:11 PM
http://images.regretsy.com/helen_twilight.jpg
Funka Genocide
03-07-2010, 05:14 PM
I just noticed that he's wearing a pretty cool shirt (the one in the foreground that isn't being molested by the monster lady.)
Krylo
03-07-2010, 06:35 PM
I just realized something:
That soap was designed by 'MistressHannah' most likely a woman.
Vaginas all look different.
Ergo chances are that soap looks like her vagina.
Have fun with that thought.
Bells
03-07-2010, 06:43 PM
I'll put these here, early on in the thread, as sort of a palate cleanser for the horrors to come and the horrors already here.
Alex Reads Twilight: Chapter 1 (http://youtube.com/watch?v=2L253VLwH3w)
Alex Reads Twilight: Chapter 2 (http://youtube.com/watch?v=E2Hwv1EbCkk)
Alex Reads Twilight: Chapters 3 & 4 (http://youtube.com/watch?v=Lgo7pWsxLbo)
Alex Reads Twilight: Chapters 5 & 6 (http://youtube.com/watch?v=kbCiJrElKNA)
Alex Reads Twilight: Chapter 7 (http://youtube.com/watch?v=mVvIOoMvXVM)
Alex Reads Twilight: Chapters 8 & 9 (http://youtube.com/watch?v=CCLnx_t98lc)
Enjoy.
From, this moment on i am Team Lauren.
Amake
03-07-2010, 07:00 PM
What the heck is "Twilight the XXX parody"? What happened to mildly clever porno titles like Dig Hard*? They could have called it. . .Twihard. Or Trilight. If it was a Swedish movie they could call it Twiligg. Ha.
*Starring Bruce Willing
Token
03-07-2010, 07:07 PM
Twatlight?
The Sevenshot Kid
03-07-2010, 07:38 PM
Team Tyler's Van!
Mike McC
03-07-2010, 08:45 PM
What the heck is "Twilight the XXX parody"? What happened to mildly clever porno titles like Dig Hard*? They could have called it. . .Twihard. Or Trilight. If it was a Swedish movie they could call it Twiligg. Ha.
*Starring Bruce WillingTechnically, the title is "This Isn't Twilight: The XXX Parody". Apparently it is another naming convention (http://www.examiner.com/x-1916-Sex--Relationships-Examiner~y2009m5d8-The-sex-appeal-of-Star-Trek-The-JJ-Abrams-reboot-and-a-new-XXX-spoof-build-on-sexy-legacy). Also, there are Twilight pornos (http://www.examiner.com/x-1916-Sex--Relationships-Examiner~y2009m5d18-You-knew-this-was-coming-eventually-Twilight-of-Virginity-Twilight-porn-spoof-drops-May-22).
I will not accept any Twilight porno that is not named Sparklesnatch.
So ladies. Iced up sex toys? What the hell? Your internal temperature regulation device is already messed up beyond belief what with you always being cold all the time. You also seem to not like that whole "being cold" thing so why jam a frozen spike up your nether bits? I'm confused.
So is this like a joke or a serious question and the whole idea behind them just went fwoooooooooooooooosh over your head because I usually only have to make the fwooshing sound wen I talk to blues.
So is this like a joke or a serious question and the whole idea behind them just went fwoooooooooooooooosh over your head because I usually only have to make the fwooshing sound wen I talk to blues.Serious question, even though yes, I got the joke. Vampire penis. Cold. Got that.
It's just that I've been around the internet enough to know that certain sex toys are in fact marketed for their ability to be both warmed and chilled. The chilled part I never got. The very concept of a woman jamming a frozen dong up in her seems akin to me humping an ice sculpture......which doesn't strike me as a good time.
Premmy
03-08-2010, 12:38 AM
Some people have kinks you don't understand Tevles, It's how shit works.
which doesn't strike me as a good time.
The opposite of this is why they existed before Twilight.
Some people have kinks you don't understand Tevles, It's how shit works.This depresses me as I understand a lot of kinks. :(
Premmy
03-08-2010, 12:44 AM
Thanks for telling us you're a dirty perv. I mean, that horrible......aura of filth and foulness you give off would have told us, but thanks, I just thought it meant you were a wizard, but now I know.
If it makes you feel better my first assumption was that someone didn't get the Vampire-Cold Dick link before I thought someone didn't get Cold Dicks-Feel Nice link.
Thanks for telling us you're a dirty perv. I mean, that horrible......aura of filth and foulness you give off would have told us, but thanks, I just thought it meant you were a wizard, but now I know.What can I say, we student Anthropologists are curious people.
Shyria Dracnoir
03-08-2010, 11:40 AM
And for the choose-your-own-adventure fans out there... (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/twilightad.jpg)
I think AdBot said it best:
"IT WAS A DARK AND STORMY NIGHT; THE RAIN FELL IN TORRENTS, EXCEPT AT OCCASIONAL INTERVALS WHEN IT WAS CHECKED BY A VIOLENT GUST OF WIND THAT SWEPT UP THE STREET (FOR IT IS IN LONDON THAT OUR SCENE LIES). MY MOTHER WAS DRIVING ME TO THE AIRPORT WITH THE WINDOWS ROLLED DOWN. THEN CAME THE VAMPIRES. THEN JOHN WAS A VAMPIRE.
I JUST SAVED YOU TWENTY BUCKS."
krogothwolf
03-08-2010, 11:45 AM
I hate you all, I really do. First Sparklesnatch now finding out about TevLev's pervy kink loving. You guys all suck!
TevLev'sEh, at least my name comes first in this crazy mish-mash amalgamation of people who are most definitely not the same person. That's gotta count for something I guess.
Funka Genocide
03-08-2010, 12:16 PM
Eh, at least my name comes first in this crazy mish-mash amalgamation of people who are most definitely not the same person. That's gotta count for something I guess.
From henceforth you shall be Tevosaurus Rex, or Tevosaur for short.
Lev shall be Levanthimus.
I have spoken.
And for the choose-your-own-adventure fans out there... (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/twilightad.jpg)
I think AdBot said it best:
"IT WAS A DARK AND STORMY NIGHT; THE RAIN FELL IN TORRENTS, EXCEPT AT OCCASIONAL INTERVALS WHEN IT WAS CHECKED BY A VIOLENT GUST OF WIND THAT SWEPT UP THE STREET (FOR IT IS IN LONDON THAT OUR SCENE LIES). MY MOTHER WAS DRIVING ME TO THE AIRPORT WITH THE WINDOWS ROLLED DOWN. THEN CAME THE VAMPIRES. THEN JOHN WAS A VAMPIRE.
I JUST SAVED YOU TWENTY BUCKS."
You still haven't answered our question.
Shyria Dracnoir
03-08-2010, 02:37 PM
You still haven't answered our question.
I plead the third (http://xkcd.com/496/)
In all seriousness however, I admit i misunderstood the original post. My bad, ignore me
Madcow9000
03-08-2010, 04:48 PM
I plead the third (http://xkcd.com/496/)
In all seriousness however, I admit i misunderstood the original post. My bad, ignore me
I detect virgin.
I'm not really sure why, because it's completely possible that they've had sex.
To further clarify, I figure it wouldn't sting any more than soap on a cock.
Hanuman
03-08-2010, 05:03 PM
You know my opinion of twilight.
http://www.geekologie.com/2009/11/28/twilight-moms.jpg
krogothwolf
03-08-2010, 05:10 PM
You know my opinion of twilight.
http://www.geekologie.com/2009/11/28/twilight-moms.jpg
You say that TevLev but secretly we all know twilight mom's are part of your sick little kinky things
You say that TevLev but blah de blah blah blah...Hey!
From henceforth you shall be Tevosaurus Rex, or Tevosaur for short.
Lev shall be Levanthimus.
I have spoken.Funka has spoken! Get on the same page as the rest of us here.
Token
03-08-2010, 05:34 PM
Hey!
Funka has spoken! Get on the same page as the rest of us here.
No one cares Levanthimus.
krogothwolf
03-08-2010, 05:34 PM
That's way to long for me to remember man! Im sticking with TevLev it's easy enough and fun to us!
Mike McC
03-08-2010, 05:57 PM
In all seriousness however, I admit i misunderstood the original post. My bad, ignore meIt's too late, you've already told the internet things you probably did not want it to know.
Shyria Dracnoir
03-08-2010, 06:45 PM
It's too late, you've already told the internet things you probably did not want it to know.
:(
krogothwolf
03-08-2010, 06:53 PM
:(
It's okay Shyria, we were going to find out anyways. Least it's no where near as bad as what we just learned about TevLev
Kyanbu The Legend
03-08-2010, 06:53 PM
:(
It's alright, in do time this humiliation will turn you into a Powerful Legend.
THE SHAME SHALL MAKE YOU STRONGER!!!!
Least it's no where near as bad as what we just learned about TevLevSo, just for my reference, what exactly did we learn about me? That I've been around enough to know about and understand a variety of sexual fetishes? That of the many I do get and understand, I just couldn't wrap my head around ice-play?
Funka Genocide
03-08-2010, 07:04 PM
Don't let it get to you Tevosaur, everyone is entitled to their own sick fascinations!
Mike McC
03-08-2010, 07:10 PM
Least it's no where near as bad as what we just learned about TevLevHow is knowing about kinks a bad thing? Shit, I have probably forgotten about more than most people know about. Doesn't mean I practice them, or even like them.
I've just seen how deep the rabbit hole goes, is all.
Funka Genocide
03-08-2010, 07:11 PM
I've just seen how deep the rabbit goes down the hole is all.
Fixed that for you.
Mike McC
03-08-2010, 07:14 PM
I've just seen how deep the rabbit goes down the hole is all.Fixed that for you.I think you mean 'hamster'.
Shit, I have probably forgotten about more than most people know about.I know right?
It's not like there aren't http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v110/Loneglade/Fetish.gif?t=1268093209 for this stuff.
Loyal
03-08-2010, 07:26 PM
Dear god, exactly how is one supposed to read that chart?
There's a key on the right side.
BloodyMage
03-08-2010, 07:30 PM
Dear god, exactly how is one supposed to read that chart?
While crying inside for humanity.
Funka Genocide
03-08-2010, 07:37 PM
I kept trying to find a "starting point".
Like a box that said tits or ass or cock or something seemingly innocuous but nope, that was all weird.
Basically I've found it works best if you zero in on the first fetish you recognize and go from there as your "starting point."
Marc v4.0
03-08-2010, 07:40 PM
well, Lingerie is a fairly basic starting point, i think
Funka Genocide
03-08-2010, 07:41 PM
How come the material "Leather" doesn't intersect with the fetish "Cars".
You're telling me people don't have leather seat fetishes?
They intersect through the shoe fetish.
Funka Genocide
03-08-2010, 07:44 PM
Tevosaur, what's a furvert?
*innocent face*
Tevosaur, what's a furvert?
*innocent face*
Like a Furry but with more Yiffing.
EDIT: They have conventions.
Mike McC
03-08-2010, 07:49 PM
Pfft, that's not even a complete chart.
It's not. It's dated 2002 and it wasn't all that complete in the first place.
Kyanbu The Legend
03-08-2010, 07:57 PM
Like a Furry but with more Yiffing.
EDIT: They have conventions.
Happy to hear it has it's own term and category.
Mirai Gen
03-08-2010, 08:07 PM
I think you mean 'hamster'.
I'm sure he's graduated to much larger rodents since then. Hence 'rabbit.'
Next he's gonna work his way up to housecats.
Funka Genocide
03-08-2010, 08:14 PM
I'm sure he's graduated to much larger rodents since then. Hence 'rabbit.'
Next he's gonna work his way up to housecats.
Actually I skipped right to "humans".
But I guess it's a progression for some...
Premmy
03-08-2010, 08:28 PM
I know right?
It's not like there aren't http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v110/Loneglade/Fetish.gif?t=1268093209 for this stuff.
Why are "clowns" in the key? Just... Why?
Mirai Gen
03-08-2010, 08:34 PM
Actually I skipped right to "humans".
But I guess it's a progression for some...
...well played.
Premmy
03-08-2010, 08:37 PM
Actually I skipped right to "humans".
But I guess it's a progression for some...
Your hole gets a lot of action, huh?
Why are "clowns" in the key? Just... Why?It took me a second to find them on the chart. They are an offshoot of "Pie Play" in the "Messy Fun" section.
Mirai Gen
03-08-2010, 10:44 PM
"Toy boats."
Yeah, they got mine too :(
Eldezar
03-08-2010, 11:07 PM
From henceforth you shall be Tevosaurus Rex, or Tevosaur for short.
Lev shall be Levanthimus.
I have spoken.
That's way to long for me to remember man! Im sticking with TevLev it's easy enough and fun to us!
I propose a word filter.
Eidt: At least their avatars don't share similar coloring and style anymore.
But I don't want to be a word filter! And there was never anything similar about our avatars! :gonk:
Loyal
03-08-2010, 11:17 PM
Whatever you say, Levosaurus.
Kyanbu The Legend
03-08-2010, 11:22 PM
But I don't want to be a word filter! And there was never anything similar about our avatars! :gonk:
And doesn't Lev have a flaming name? I've never had a problem telling you two apart from one another.
Premmy
03-08-2010, 11:54 PM
We're doing it to torture them, just play along
Funka Genocide
03-09-2010, 01:12 AM
Whatever you say, Levosaurus.
Wah... What?! No!
Dudes, he's encroaching on my decrees!
Krylo
03-09-2010, 01:23 AM
Wah... What?! No!
Dudes, he's encroaching on my decrees!
Yeah, seriously guys, that was Tevanthimus.
Bells
03-09-2010, 02:36 AM
This thread is Sooooooooooo twilight.
...i'm not even fucking kidding with that sentence.
Geminex
03-09-2010, 03:19 AM
Nah, needs more sparkles to be Twilight.
Mike McC
03-09-2010, 09:21 AM
This thread is Sooooooooooo twilight.
...i'm not even fucking kidding with that sentence.You might not be kidding, but you are also not making sense.
Seriously, what does that even mean?
Mirai Gen
03-09-2010, 11:43 AM
He's referencing "My life is Twilight" thing where everyone compares bits of their life with the books/movies.
Loyal
03-09-2010, 12:07 PM
The fetish chart was one thing, but damnit Mirai/Bells we did not need that site to be brought up!
My boyfriend covered himself in glitter because he knows Edward is the only man who will ever make me happy and my obsession with a fictional character who isn't even likable in the first place is killing him inside.
MLT
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