Clash of the Titans is kind of sucky

[BitVyper]

Just incase you were going to go in the hopes of it being spectacularly bad, I wouldn't bother. It's pretty clear that no one involved with the film particularly cared about it. The guy who plays Zeus seems like he might have actually been trying, and that's about all I can say in the movie's favour. Beyond that though, the acting ranges from mediocre to terrible. The guy playing Hades feels like he's trying to be a cross between Grima Wormtongue and Sauron, but he fails miserably. The fact that noone even seems to care that they're ancient Greeks makes them seem more like LARPers than the characters they're portraying.

The writing is mostly bad. Perseus can't seem to get who he really truly hates with the fire of a thousand suns straight. The vague romance is just sorta tacked on like they realised they needed one at the last second. The plot is largely changed into something that doesn't make a lot of sense("we are defying the gods because.... um... Grrr! We are defying the gods!?"), and none of the characters are particularly memorable.

The visuals are mostly mediocre with a side of bad. The Medusa especially was disappointing, partly due to this, and partly due to poor direction. Keeping her out of sight most of the time could have invoked subtle horror if it had been done right. Here it's just like they used it as an excuse to not bother putting too much work into her. I would bet that if you took away all the shadows in that scene, she'd look like something off a PS2. Now the giant scorpions were pretty cool, but still, there wasn't anything particularly awe-inspiring.

It just feels like no one really wanted to put the work into any particular aspect of the movie.

[Marc v4.0]

Maybe I saw a different movie cause I was overall very pleased with the experience even if I did have to wear those damn stupid glasses cause i bought tickets for the 3d without realizing it.

[Seil]

http://cdn-www.cracked.com/articleimages/ob/clash_revised1_wm.jpg

[Marc v4.0]

I never listen to Cracked about anything related to movies ever since I read an article that said the Halloween series didn't go all supernatural until the 4th Movie or something, and a review of Terminator: Salvation by someone who obviously fell asleep during the last half of the movie.

Everything else is funny, but the movie stuff generally blows

[BitVyper]

Yeah, I agree with Marc there. I found this movie thoroughly disappointing, but I don't see any particularly strong parallels with TF.

[Kyanbu The Legend]

Didn't see it. But my mom and step dad did. I doubt they liked it since they didn't even talk about it. (they usually do)

I also heard it sucked from my uncle who read a review about it online (part of the reason I didn't go to see it). The 3D was mostly just thrown in there and looked out of place.

[Karrrrrrrrrrrresche]

I never listen to Cracked about anything related to movies ever since I read an article that said the Halloween series didn't go all supernatural until the 4th Movie or something, and a review of Terminator: Salvation by someone who obviously fell asleep during the last half of the movie.

Everything else is funny, but the movie stuff generally blows

CONCEDE THAT THE EAGLE IS INDEED UNINTERESTED.

CONCEDE IT.

[Magus]

USA Today lampooned this movie for its overuse of phrases like "Beware the Kraken!" and "We must flee before Zeus unleashes the Kraken!" and "The Kraken shall be the death of us all!" and "Release the Kraken!" and "The Kraken cometh!" and "Behold the Kraken!" and "Run! The Kraken! Run!" and "The Kraken! The horror! The horror!" etc. and then the kraken was insanely underwhelming.

It had better have turned out to have been one badass kraken for this sort of terror. And what's up with exact lines being stolen from Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest? It also had a kraken and had Davey Jones going "Release the Kraken!" Zeus should've said something else I guess. Unless that movie stole the line from the original Clash of the Titans...

Also I'm not surprised that Liam Neeson was the only actor giving it his all in this epic, I think he was the only actor who gave a shit in Star Wars: The Phantom Menace too.

[TDK]

This movie was awful. The plot was meandering, the special effects pretty average, and as stated, Perseus seemed a little confused about who exactly he hated. Plus, the anti-god guys seemed a little too well-informed. "Yeah, let's deny the gods our worship because that is clearly where they get their power!" I'm confused as to how they know this, along with other things.

Overall, the movie made little sense.


That said, I was highly entertained.

[BitVyper]

I'm almost willing to forgive the actors because they had to contend with the writing and direction, and I think most of them just gave up.

[The Sevenshot Kid]

This was the most fun I've had at the cinema all year. So what if it wasn't perfect? Did you see it thinking that it was gonna be Pulp Fiction? No. You watched it to see Worthington fight monsters and that is exactly what it gave you.

[Mirai Gen]

I said this on GPDF, but man if I wanted to see some Greek kickass film about Perseus' journey, I'd watch the original. It fuckin' ruled so hard and I can't do anything but go into the theater and compare the new to the old.

Old one, even with the stop-motion special effects, was so goddamned good.

[Marc v4.0]

I heard some little shit in line at a Gamestop say "It sounds like a lame God of War ripoff to me".

I can concede it wasn't an amazing spectacle that I'm sure the original must have been in its own time, but it was a damn good popcorn muncher.

If popcorn didn't cost the same as a small house.

Damn kids these days. ON MY LAWN.

[The Sevenshot Kid]

I'm willing to admit that the original has a better story because, truth be told, it does. But this one had better action and effects. And Liam Neeson.

[Karrrrrrrrrrrresche]

It had better have turned out to have been one badass kraken for this sort of terror. And what's up with exact lines being stolen from Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest? It also had a kraken and had Davey Jones going "Release the Kraken!" Zeus should've said something else I guess. Unless that movie stole the line from the original Clash of the Titans...


What the fuck else is he going to say?

"Yo, bitches. I do believe we should unleash the Mega Aquatic K upon their asses, dig?"

[Grimpond]

What the fuck else is he going to say?

"Yo, bitches. I do believe we should unleash the Mega Aquatic K upon their asses, dig?"

I'd buy some popcorn for that.

[BitVyper]

So what if it wasn't perfect?

I didn't say it sucked because it wasn't perfect, I said it sucked because it's very obvious that absolutely no one involved with the film's making (save Liam Nielson) was bothering to put any effort into it. Even a pure action movie needs some soul.

[Magus]

How about "Unleash the Kraken!"? Sort of different. Actually maybe that was the one that was in Pirates of the Caribbean? There's also "Loose the Kraken!" but I'm not sure that is grammatical.

[Karrrrrrrrrrrresche]

How about "Unleash the Kraken!"? Sort of different. Actually maybe that was the one that was in Pirates of the Caribbean? There's also "Loose the Kraken!" but I'm not sure that is grammatical.

You could also have him say
"HOLY SHIT THOSE GUYS ARE JERKS.
IF ONLY WE HAD A BIG SEA MONSTER TO DESTROY THEM.
HINT HINT, POSEIDON."

[Mirai Gen]

You could also have him say
"HOLY SHIT THOSE GUYS ARE JERKS.
IF ONLY WE HAD A BIG SEA MONSTER TO DESTROY THEM.
HINT HINT, POSEIDON."

I'd totally watch that movie.

[Aerozord]

well I never saw the original for two reasons, one is when it came out I lacked the ability to sit up on my own, the reason I didn't see it later was I am not a fan of the original myth. Its got alot of plot holes, Persus was a pretty Mary-Sue character, the guy was litterally handed everything he needed, one of which told him exactly how to beat the creatures he faced, plus he was kind of a douche. Medusa never really threatened anyone, she just stayed in her home and baked muffins. Till some half naked man breaks into her house and cuts off her head.


Jerk

[Professor Smarmiarty]

Preemptive strike! Shock and awe!

[TDK]

well I never saw the original for two reasons, one is when it came out I lacked the ability to sit up on my own, the reason I didn't see it later was I am not a fan of the original myth. Its got alot of plot holes, Persus was a pretty Mary-Sue character, the guy was litterally handed everything he needed, one of which told him exactly how to beat the creatures he faced, plus he was kind of a douche. Medusa never really threatened anyone, she just stayed in her home and baked muffins. Till some half naked man breaks into her house and cuts off her head.


Jerk

The greek gods and heroes weren't nice people that gave fair punishments for crimes and hugged kittens and helped little old ladies across the street?

D= My world is shattered!

[The Sevenshot Kid]

The gods were asshats. This is one aspect of mythology that the movie got right. The rest? Not so much.

Being the mythology nut that I am, I have experience with ignoring deviations from the source material.

[Karrrrrrrrrrrresche]

The greek gods and heroes weren't nice people that gave fair punishments for crimes and hugged kittens and helped little old ladies across the street?

D= My world is shattered!

You seem to be implying that he was under the opposite impression, but from what I see all he says and quite accurately says at that is; PERSEUS IS A FUCKING JERK

Theseus is better.

[BitVyper]

Part of what I'm enjoying about the Silmarillion is that it maintains this. I mean man, Feanor may actually be a bigger dick than Superman.

"okay, Melkor poisoned the trees which bathe our civilisation in divine, everlasting light, but it's okay. Feanor made some jewels out of that light before, so we can heal the trees if he'll just let us borrow them for a few minutes. Whaddya say, Feanor? Give Melkor the ol' middle finger?"
"No. Screw you guys, I'm going back to Middle Earth."
"But.... but...."

Later...

"How many boats should we leave for our brothers so they aren't trapped on the ice flos?"
"None. Burn the ones we don't need."

[The Sevenshot Kid]

Have you read the part about the slaughter that Feanor lead? It only gets worse from there.

[BitVyper]

Yeah, I'm up to what's-her-face going back to Gondolin and getting killed. Consuming the book in small bites.

[Jagos]

I never understand that... WHY DO YOU TURN AROUND TO GET KILLED?

Now I see where the Jason movies get it...