Hatake Kakashi
05-03-2010, 04:28 AM
So Rob Zombie and Alice Cooper are touring together (http://www.gruesometwosometour.com/). I went to see them at the Toyota Center in Kennewick, and I must tell you, I went for precisely the wrong reason.
A couple months ago, I celebrated my 32nd occurrence of the universe revolving around me. It was generally pleasing, and to make things interesting, a friend of mine suggested we go to this concert. I thought it was a groovy idea, and made plans to really enjoy myself watching Rob Zombie and the old dude that was traveling with him. I didn't know much about Alice Cooper, didn't care much before tonight. I'd grown up listening to Zombie whilst fragging every noob that dared peek out from behind their sniper rifles or driving Sweet Tooth's Ice Cream Truck. And I'd heard he put on a good show.
Having seen the show tonight, I can offer the following tidbits:
First: Make sure the girl pouring your beer can give you proper head. My friend and I made sure to instruct her on this over three pourings.
Second: Alice Cooper will perform first. Leave after his set is finished. You will have just been ruined for all other concerts.
I have to say, when I went to the show tonight, I was expecting AC to hobble onto the stage behind his walker, croak out a few old tunes that just aren't relevant anymore, and then be carted off to the local geriatric ward. And then the REAL show could begin. How wrong I was! Alice Cooper put together a masterpiece of songs classic and new in what can only be described as a magnum opus of Rock Opera. From his beheading, to his hanging, being run through in an iron maiden, his swordplay on stage, interaction with the fans, his ability to sound very close to his recordings, but still differently enough to know it's him, and just every, last, minor detail had the polished touch of a master of his craft. Between the illusionist theatrics and the quality of sound and performance, I'd say the ticket price was earned on his act alone.
The same, however, cannot be said of Rob Zombie. Now, I'll still listen to his albums. He's got great music to kill to. That being said, you may as well just pass up his section of the act. I could not have been more absolutely bored with the guy that I'd come to see. His albums are now quite obviously manufactured, with 85% of his gravelly, snarly trademark growl missing from his live performance. And what is there of his voice, is only there for eight of every thirteen words. Now, I appreciate fan interaction as much as the next guy, I LOVE to sing/scream along. But seriously, if you can't keep your breath to perform more than one and one-half lines at a time, why are you performing the song?
And that's to say nothing of the stage presence and theatrics, or lack thereof. Yes, I know his videos commonly feature clips from B-movies, but the dude performing the white-man's-dance in the robot suit on stage was LAME! I would have expected something like that out of a group of Chi-Mos trying to impress children (http://www.thewiggles.com.au/us/home/), not a shock-rock act. And the motorized alien monster wasn't much to enjoy either. Other than that? No stage theatrics at all. NONE! It was all recycled 5-10 second video clips on big-screen monitors of B-Movies and Hentai (featured in this particular show were Urotsukidoji 3: Legend of the Overfiend (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Urotsukid%C5%8Dji) and Cutie Honey (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cutie_Honey)). The Hentai tentacle-rape and overuse of pyrotechnics, I am sad to say, were the highlight of the set. The rest of his time was spent with Rob Zombie trying to catch his breath, and walking around the base of the arena waving around a mag-light.
Seriously? This is what I get from a dude whom I thought rocked harder than most? Zombie, you seriously need to take some performing lessons from your touring partner. I'd see him again, but you'll be lucky if I buy your music instead of just downloading it anymore. It was disheartening to have the concert end on such a downer.
But, to those of you thinking of going anyway, I say: GO! The Alice Cooper performance ALONE is worth the price of admission! But unless you're masochistic with your music, don't stay for the Zombie Followup... he will bore you out of your mind.
A couple months ago, I celebrated my 32nd occurrence of the universe revolving around me. It was generally pleasing, and to make things interesting, a friend of mine suggested we go to this concert. I thought it was a groovy idea, and made plans to really enjoy myself watching Rob Zombie and the old dude that was traveling with him. I didn't know much about Alice Cooper, didn't care much before tonight. I'd grown up listening to Zombie whilst fragging every noob that dared peek out from behind their sniper rifles or driving Sweet Tooth's Ice Cream Truck. And I'd heard he put on a good show.
Having seen the show tonight, I can offer the following tidbits:
First: Make sure the girl pouring your beer can give you proper head. My friend and I made sure to instruct her on this over three pourings.
Second: Alice Cooper will perform first. Leave after his set is finished. You will have just been ruined for all other concerts.
I have to say, when I went to the show tonight, I was expecting AC to hobble onto the stage behind his walker, croak out a few old tunes that just aren't relevant anymore, and then be carted off to the local geriatric ward. And then the REAL show could begin. How wrong I was! Alice Cooper put together a masterpiece of songs classic and new in what can only be described as a magnum opus of Rock Opera. From his beheading, to his hanging, being run through in an iron maiden, his swordplay on stage, interaction with the fans, his ability to sound very close to his recordings, but still differently enough to know it's him, and just every, last, minor detail had the polished touch of a master of his craft. Between the illusionist theatrics and the quality of sound and performance, I'd say the ticket price was earned on his act alone.
The same, however, cannot be said of Rob Zombie. Now, I'll still listen to his albums. He's got great music to kill to. That being said, you may as well just pass up his section of the act. I could not have been more absolutely bored with the guy that I'd come to see. His albums are now quite obviously manufactured, with 85% of his gravelly, snarly trademark growl missing from his live performance. And what is there of his voice, is only there for eight of every thirteen words. Now, I appreciate fan interaction as much as the next guy, I LOVE to sing/scream along. But seriously, if you can't keep your breath to perform more than one and one-half lines at a time, why are you performing the song?
And that's to say nothing of the stage presence and theatrics, or lack thereof. Yes, I know his videos commonly feature clips from B-movies, but the dude performing the white-man's-dance in the robot suit on stage was LAME! I would have expected something like that out of a group of Chi-Mos trying to impress children (http://www.thewiggles.com.au/us/home/), not a shock-rock act. And the motorized alien monster wasn't much to enjoy either. Other than that? No stage theatrics at all. NONE! It was all recycled 5-10 second video clips on big-screen monitors of B-Movies and Hentai (featured in this particular show were Urotsukidoji 3: Legend of the Overfiend (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Urotsukid%C5%8Dji) and Cutie Honey (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cutie_Honey)). The Hentai tentacle-rape and overuse of pyrotechnics, I am sad to say, were the highlight of the set. The rest of his time was spent with Rob Zombie trying to catch his breath, and walking around the base of the arena waving around a mag-light.
Seriously? This is what I get from a dude whom I thought rocked harder than most? Zombie, you seriously need to take some performing lessons from your touring partner. I'd see him again, but you'll be lucky if I buy your music instead of just downloading it anymore. It was disheartening to have the concert end on such a downer.
But, to those of you thinking of going anyway, I say: GO! The Alice Cooper performance ALONE is worth the price of admission! But unless you're masochistic with your music, don't stay for the Zombie Followup... he will bore you out of your mind.