Worst Movie(s) you were made to sit and watch by people...

[RobinStarwing]

Figured we ALL have these horror stories. So tell them here and share the horror in therapy. You basically tell what movie and by whom you were made to sit through it with (even if it was yourself). I will start to give the idea of how it should look.

Blair Witch 2: Book of Secrets> My dad and his wife made me sit and watch this piece of crap...>_<

Birds II: Land's End> My mother but not entirely her fault. We were expecting something at least half as good as the original and ended up with a huge stinking pile of bird poop.

Alien Versus Predator Requiem (UNCUT)> Myself...made the mistake of watching this garbage right after the half-decent first AvP movie.

Chronicles Of Riddick> Myself again...taped it from TNT expecting a fun brainless thrill action ride. Yeah...only ended up with the brainless and nothing else. I could of SOOOOO done this one better.

Twilight > My now ex and a friend. Still friends with the friend as she knows if she ever drags me into seeing another Twilight movie, she is going to get sat down and forced to watch an anime.

[TitoTheHappy]

Its not necessarily the worst I have been forced to sit through but the most recent for me is "The Crazies". My friend had rented it and invited me to watch it and I figured I have enjoyed multiple zombie movies in the past but frick it was just awful. No real suspense, no humor, no action, awful acting (but not bad enough to entertain) and plenty of shitty gorn.

[The Sevenshot Kid]

Twilight on a date. Needless to say, that chick got dumped.

[RobinStarwing]

Twilight on a date. Needless to say, that chick got dumped.

Thanks for reminding, I forgot one.:crying: You had to remind me.

[synkr0nized]

Daredevil

Napoleon Dynamite

There are many bad movies out there -- and many terrible movies I've managed to avoid still -- but those two came to mind immediately.

[Archbio]

Feast.

By an almost ex-friend.

[Toastburner B]

Attack of the Killer Tomatoes.

That was almost 13 years ago and and I still still the friend that made me watch it grief about it.

[akaSM]

All of the twilight movies X_X. And also some movie called "frozen". It was bad, seriously, just looking at the poster would've been enough to know ALL of the movie >_>

[Archbio]

Attack of the Killer Tomatoes.


I just wanted to put the parachute gag (and possibly the guy himself) out of its misery.

[gekkogo]

"Kibakichi" 1&2 are some of the most unfortunate abominations known to mankind. The latter of which can be previewed for "shits and giggles".

[batgirl]

A friend of mine made me watch "Invincible" with her. No, not the awesome Jet Li "Invincible," the TBS tv movie with Billy Zane. *shudder*

Also: Judge Dredd.

[Fifthfiend]

Chronicles Of Riddick

Daredevil


Attack of the Killer Tomatoes

Judge Dredd.

Why do people keep listing all of these excellent movies :confused:

[RobinStarwing]

This was one I had put myself through and only the wisdom of age and time has shown me the errors of my ways as I would watch this willingly...

Now I see it for the garbage it is and bemoan wasted blocks of 2 hours on weekends...

Howard The Duck

[Nique]

Why do people keep listing all of these excellent movies

If it weren't for Daredevil I might wonder if you weren't joking.

[Yrcrazypa]

Superbad was probably the worst movie I can think of in recent memory that I thought had no redeeming features at all, aside from it having an ending.

[Kim]

I just watched Kick-Ass. Nobody made me watch it, but it was pretty awful.

[Lumenskir]

I just watched Kick-Ass. Nobody made me watch it, but it was pretty awful.
But a precociously little girl said cunt! A++

[Nique]

I just watched Kick-Ass. Nobody made me watch it, but it was pretty awful.

What I think would have bothered me about Kick-Ass is what I will probably love about Scott Pilgrim - that it is essentially [genre]-porn.

[RobinStarwing]

Why do people keep listing all of these excellent movies :confused:

I hope you were kidding about Riddick...:ohdear:

[Professor Smarmiarty]

Attack of the Clones. Holy fuck.

[Krylo]

Why do people keep listing all of these excellent movies :confused:
Because they have terrible taste. All of those movies were totally great for what they were.

Well, except Daredevil, which was maybe OK, I guess.
But a precociously little girl said cunt! A++

I'm pretty sure that isn't grammatically correct. I don't think you can be precociously little, unless you're part of some kind of strange alien race that gets smaller as it ages.

I think you were looking for either, "precociously vulgar little girl," or "precocious little girl" ...Or maybe "precociously adorable"?


Anyway, On Topic: I'm gonna go with the X-Men movies for this, personally. I saw two of them.

They weren't really terrible or whatever, but it would have been nice if they would have just said "Wolverine the Movie: With None of the Non-Wolverine Characters you Give a Shit About, And Certainly Not In Any Recognizable Form." You know, so I knew what to expect.

As opposed to going in expecting a movie about the actual X-Men.

[Osterbaum]

Twilight. Ugh.

Napoleon Dynamite
I was under the impression that movie was considered good.

[Krylo]

I was under the impression that movie was considered good.

Not by anyone whose opinions should ever be listened to.

Ever.

[The Artist Formerly Known as Hawk]

Once at a house party somebody decided it would be a good idea to put on the dvd of sex and the city. Fortunately I was suitably intoxicated at the time and quickly fell asleep after ten minutes went by with decidedly no sex what so ever being featured in that film.

[Green Spanner]

New Moon.

I managed to snark my way through most of it, but then words escaped me and I started to get aneurysms near the end.

[Terisse]

Mega Piranha. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pFhSogGnu4I) I sat down to it and couldn't stop watching. I wish I knew why.

[bluestarultor]

CHUD. It was pretty awful. Troll 2 was at least so terrible it was funny.

[Jagos]

This was one I had put myself through and only the wisdom of age and time has shown me the errors of my ways as I would watch this willingly...

Now I see it for the garbage it is and bemoan wasted blocks of 2 hours on weekends...

Howard The Duck

I can one up you.

Street Fighter: The Movie

Oh my GAWD was that a horrible mindrape...

[Flarecobra]

I don't think any will compare with the mind-rape to come. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battleship_(film))

But one of the worst: Transformers and Transformers 2. I actually fell asleep watching the first one, so I'm not sure how well it counts.

[Lumenskir]

I'm pretty sure that isn't grammatically correct.
I don't know the meaning of the word.
I was under the impression that movie was considered good.
That's sort of the subtext of most of the movies in this thread. People you might have once respected and listened to present you with a movie they are sure you will like, and at the end you're left there wondering if this stranger knows anything at all about you if they thought you would enjoy the dreck you just witnessed.

[Daimo Mac, The Blue Light of Hope]

Transformers 1 wasn't that bad. I mean holy hell it was shlock at worst. But it was a good, let your brain out movie. TF2 on the other hand...

[Amake]

I guess I'm lucky, the worst anyone's talked me into watching has been a number of forgettable, formulaic action movies. Exit Wounds springs to mind. I think it's because I have a distinct sense for movies I'm going to like, and I'll absolutely refuse to watch something I feel will be bad.

Also I agree with Fifth about those movies being eminently watchable. Napoleon Dynamite too. So I guess having no taste also makes me lucky.

[Darth SS]

I watched the Far Cry movie all the way through.


That is all.

[The Artist Formerly Known as Hawk]

I can one up you.

Street Fighter: The Movie

Oh my GAWD was that a horrible mindrape...

I think we have all enjured that attrocity unfortunately. Still not as bad as Mortal Kombat; Annihilation though. *Shudders*

I watched the Far Cry movie all the way through.


That is all.

... You... you poor man. I only got through the trailer and already felt soiled.

However for self imposed brutality I think I can beat you all.

I watched Battlefield Earth! All of it!

EDIT; OH GOD THE MEMORIES!!!

[Fifthfiend]

Like I'm just saying if you don't like Sylvester Stallone movies about fascists fighting psychotic mutant hillbillies I just don't even

[Lumenskir]

Like I'm just saying if you don't like Sylvester Stallone movies about fascists fighting psychotic mutant hillbillies I just don't even
Some of us just prefer our fascist-centric comedy to be about giant space bugs and the idiotic human military who fight them is all.

[A Zarkin' Frood]

A horrible version of some Asterix movie, spoofdubbed by the horrible German comedian duo Erkan und Stefan. Only by comedian duo I mean diarrhea.
And they showed it in theaters. That's the only time I left the theater early. The person who made me watch it left also.

[Eldezar]

Plan 9 From Outer Space (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u2ukRYsYPmo)

Shocking footage of real-life UFH: Unidentified Flying Hubcaps.

[The Sevenshot Kid]

I can one up you.

Street Fighter: The Movie

Oh my GAWD was that a horrible mindrape...

I love that movie so much that I may have seen that a hundred times. Legend of Chun-Li can suck my left nut.

[Jagos]

Transformers 1 wasn't that bad. I mean holy hell it was shlock at worst. But it was a good, let your brain out movie. TF2 on the other hand...

Which part did you hate the most on TF2?

The part where you have useless characters being very important or the fact that the story just seemed to twirl around on LeBouf's blue ball syndrome for a while because Megan Fox can't act her way out of a paper bag?

[TDK]

I try to avoid awful movies, but I'm going to go with the obvious answer and say Twilight.

It wasn't really a forced-to-watch thing so much as we all decided to watch it to make fun of it, but it...it would have been too easy. Like you're playing COD or something and there's this old lady and she has no idea what's going and Yeah, you could pwn her, but do you really want to? Do you want to pwn her? What satisfaction is there to be had?

And I don't know where this fits in the with the old lady playing call of duty simile, but there was also the sheer revulsion of how awful the movie is and how depressing it is that people actually like it.

[Professor Smarmiarty]

I don't get all this twilight hate. I mean what were you expecting? It's a movie designed around boys without shirts and the romantic sensibilities of young girls, which to be honest it does pretty well. It delivers what it promises.
I could shit on every movie for not being Tarkovsky's the sacrifice but unless that is what it sets out to be, that's a little unfair.
You knew what you were getting into and you not really the target audience. The teletubbies is pretty predictable but I'm not going to rag on it.

That is why I dropped out Attack of the Clones because it could have been really good, there was a lot of promising ideas at play, the formula worked in the past, we promised intergalatic war and instead got a tedious love story mixed in with Jake the Muss being chased around the galaxy by Alex Renton and neither of them are on anything.

[Nique]

The Last Airbender might be the worst movie experience I've ever had just because of all the build up and the horrible horrible disappointment. But 2012 was pretty bad. I mean, like, really pretty bad.

[bluestarultor]

I don't get all this twilight hate. I mean what were you expecting? It's a movie designed around boys without shirts and the romantic sensibilities of young girls, which to be honest it does pretty well. It delivers what it promises.
I could shit on every movie for not being Tarkovsky's the sacrifice but unless that is what it sets out to be, that's a little unfair.
You knew what you were getting into and you not really the target audience. The teletubbies is pretty predictable but I'm not going to rag on it.

That is why I dropped out Attack of the Clones because it could have been really good, there was a lot of promising ideas at play, the formula worked in the past, we promised intergalatic war and instead got a tedious love story mixed in with Jake the Muss being chased around the galaxy by Alex Renton and neither of them are on anything.

Twilight wouldn't be so bad if it didn't teach girls that being, well, just watch this review: http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/escape-to-the-movies/1839-The-Twilight-Saga-Eclipse

[Professor Smarmiarty]

I couldn't watch that review because the reviewer was an annoying fuckhead making asinine points that he thinks are clever as shit but basically I geuss you're complaining about the whole submissive Bella thing.
Yeah that exists but it also exists in a fuckload of other stuff teenage girls read/watch. Take away Twilight,they'll find another source for it. Twilight is a symptom not a cause.

And shit, if we're complaining that you can't cast good lights on morally repugnant characters Paradise Lost wants a word.
Lots of the greatest films ever made have fucking awful awful messages at their core. If you're complaining that Twilight is a bad film becuase of its message, then the only film in the history of mankind that isn't bad is Battleship Potemnkin.
Moral of the story is- if you take inspiration from film characters you're going to turn into an awful person no matter what the fuck you watch.

[bluestarultor]

I couldn't watch that review because the reviewer was an annoying fuckhead making asinine points that he thinks are clever as shit but basically I geuss you're complaining about the whole submissive Bella thing.
Yeah that exists but it also exists in a fuckload of other stuff teenage girls read/watch. Take away Twilight,they'll find another source for it. Twilight is a symptom not a cause.

And shit, if we're complaining that you can't cast good lights on morally repugnant characters Paradise Lost wants a word.

Well, aside from that, Meyer is just not a very good writer and thinks that using big words is supposed to help that. I've seen better writing come out of high school classes. For that matter, most kids in high school at least have a grasp of their audience's vocabulary. If you're reading Twilight, you probably have a dictionary on the table for reference and in the case of most high school students, if they're not using it at least once every few pages, they probably are spelling bee competitors or have simply given up and started guessing from context just so they can slog through the story.

[Professor Smarmiarty]

We're talking about the movie but if we're talking about the book- pretty much all popular literature is trashy, particularly teenage literature. Sure it may be worse than others but it's not like they're going to be reading Calvino or Ellis Sharp if they stop reading twilight. They'll read the babysitters club.

[RobinStarwing]

We're talking about the movie but if we're talking about the book- pretty much all popular literature is trashy, particularly teenage literature. Sure it may be worse than others but it's not like they're going to be reading Calvino or Ellis Sharp if they stop reading twilight. They'll read the babysitters club.

Obviously you haven't read The Wheel Of Time Series....13 books in all and a world just as rich and varied as Tolkein's.

Let me also bring up Isaac Asimov and his Foundation Books.

How about Jim Butcher's Dresden Files?

Or anything Jules Verne or H.G. Wells ever wrote?

Or Mercedes Lackey?

[bluestarultor]

We're talking about the movie but if we're talking about the book- pretty much all popular literature is trashy, particularly teenage literature. Sure it may be worse than others but it's not like they're going to be reading Calvino or Ellis Sharp if they stop reading twilight. They'll read the babysitters club.

I don't think you realize that the movies actually all use the dialogue from the books. That's one of the biggest complaints, actually, because the dialogue simply isn't that good.

Let's be honest here, most teen trash stuff, or at least the teen trash stuff from when I was in high school, wasn't nearly as damaging as Twilight, and from personal experience, it was written better. It was far from intelligent, but at least it was readable.

Also, saying that kids wouldn't be interested in respectable works even if they weren't reading Twilight is as weak an excuse in Twilight's favor as I've ever heard. There are degrees of poor quality and something can be a much better quality and still readable by teens, like Harry Potter or Ultimate X-Men or clothing tags.

[RobinStarwing]

I don't think you realize that the movies actually all use the dialogue from the books. That's one of the biggest complaints, actually, because the dialogue simply isn't that good.

Let's be honest here, most teen trash stuff, or at least the teen trash stuff from when I was in high school, wasn't nearly as damaging as Twilight, and from personal experience, it was written better. It was far from intelligent, but at least it was readable.

Also, saying that kids wouldn't be interested in respectable works even if they weren't reading Twilight is as weak an excuse in Twilight's favor as I've ever heard. There are degrees of poor quality and something can be a much better quality and still readable by teens, like Harry Potter or Ultimate X-Men or clothing tags.

Proof to point, my mentioning of the Wheel of Time series. That is college-level literature and I was reading it in 9th Grade. Not to mention Isaac Asimov, Jules Verne, H.G. Wells, and other classic Sci-fi/Fantasy lit.

Yes, I was the freak. Sue me.

[PCD]

The Spirit. My friend was spazzing out about how great it looked, and she got really mad at the rest of us that came together because we were late to get to the theater. The whole thing was asinine, stupid and insulting, and she seemed thrilled about the whole event until about a year later when she changed her mind and decided it was, indeed awful.

House of a Thousand Corpses: Same friend, along with another. They're both into scary movies, and I am very much not, but I decided to suck it up to have a fun night with them. We all agreed, however, that this was a terrible movie, without the slightest semblance of intrigue or suspense--never once did I get the feeling that the protagonists would escape. It was a stupid and unpleasant gorefest, and despite my severe discomfort and my friends' agreement that it was awful, they wouldn't turn the television off.

[Magus]

Chronicles of Riddick had the best sequel-hook ending ever, but then they forgot to make the sequel. Plus it had about zero connection with Pitch Black's style/feel/characterization/genre, etc.

And Gunslinger, as much as one may hate Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun Li at least it was somewhere within the realm of trying to sort of have something to do with the video game kind of maybe but not really. Plus Bison wore a sweet-ass suit in it instead of a bright red military uniform, it made a lot more sense.

Anyway, I am usually the one making people sit through movies they hate, so...

[Jagos]

The Spirit. My friend was spazzing out about how great it looked, and she got really mad at the rest of us that came together because we were late to get to the theater. The whole thing was asinine, stupid and insulting, and she seemed thrilled about the whole event until about a year later when she changed her mind and decided it was, indeed awful.


There was only one good thing about it: Eva Mendez. And Scarlet Johansson.

Other than that, the movie downright sucked.

[Magus]

I still don't get what was up with the Octopus' face being shown the whole movie! He's the Octopus!

Oh, wait, I forgot. Frank Miller.

[Professor Smarmiarty]

Obviously you haven't read The Wheel Of Time Series....13 books in all and a world just as rich and varied as Tolkein's.

Let me also bring up Isaac Asimov and his Foundation Books.

How about Jim Butcher's Dresden Files?

Or anything Jules Verne or H.G. Wells ever wrote?

Or Mercedes Lackey?

While these are all better constructed than Twilight they not terribl different in conception. They are the same basic type of book but with better writing. A lot of the criticisms levelled at Twilight I could level at these.
Except the Wheel of Time which is awfully awfully written. Page after page after page of stilted description and clumsy dialogue is not good writing.

I don't think you realize that the movies actually all use the dialogue from the books. That's one of the biggest complaints, actually, because the dialogue simply isn't that good.

Let's be honest here, most teen trash stuff, or at least the teen trash stuff from when I was in high school, wasn't nearly as damaging as Twilight, and from personal experience, it was written better. It was far from intelligent, but at least it was readable.

Also, saying that kids wouldn't be interested in respectable works even if they weren't reading Twilight is as weak an excuse in Twilight's favor as I've ever heard. There are degrees of poor quality and something can be a much better quality and still readable by teens, like Harry Potter or Ultimate X-Men or clothing tags.
Again Harry Potter and Ultimate X-men aren't great literature, they are very similar to Twilight. They are much much better than Twilight but that doesn't mean Twilight is the evil devil god.
Also Harry Potter has fucking awful awful morals. Harry Potter is a war criminal who doesn't regret his actions. That's a good lesson for kids right thtere. Also evil people aren't really people, they are just evvvvvilllllllllll. Also if you got all these super sweet abilities that could save the world and fix a lot of its problems you shouldn't help use them to help anybody but you should set up little private secret institutions where you use these great gifts to play stupid games and scoff at all the lessers dying in the world because you are a victorian toff.


More back on topic: I going to reecho the Spirit. Holy shit. Our movies made in the backyard where we were playing with lighting and colour filters were better than that.

[RobinStarwing]

While these are all better constructed than Twilight they not terribl different in conception. They are the same basic type of book but with better writing. A lot of the criticisms levelled at Twilight I could level at these.
Except the Wheel of Time which is awfully awfully written. Page after page after page of stilted description and clumsy dialogue is not good writing.




I also forgot to throw in Robert Heinlein...especially Stranger in a Strange Land. That is not a clumsy book. It's very well written and gives an interesting twist on faith.

Also....Asimov, Verne, and Wells writing from the same place as Stephenie Meyer? My god dude, did you ever read their novels? Hearing you say they are not different in conception could make one think you didn't read them.

Also...page after page after page of stilted description and clumsy dialogue in the Wheel of Time series? I found the dialogue easy to understand and the description painted a very good picture.

If you want to complain about page after page after page of non-stop needless description...go read Jean M. Auel's Earth's Children series. Than tell me again the Wheel of Time is awful.

Although...is a lot of this just stemming from the fact you are yourself a frustrated writer who gets rejection letters because no publisher wants to publish your stuff? I could tell you why.

The reason why...

Those who can, do. Those who can't criticize.

Also back on topic: the first hour of this 1980's Military movie that was more romance and sex than action. It was about two guys becoming Navy SEALs.

[Magus]

Sheesh, Smarty, I like how you say we shouldn't pick on Twilight because it's unfair to pick on it for not being great literature/film when it wasn't trying to be, but you do that with basically every single other movie that people here actually do like! Does your curmudgeony know no bounds? Why would trying and failing be worse than not even trying in the first place?

Anyway, you know what are crappy movies I've been forced to watch? The Mummy Returns and Tomb of the Dragon Emperor. Kind of like slow torture.

[Fifthfiend]

And now ladies and gentlemen, your moment of Barrelpants!

They are the same basic type of book but with better writing.

Goodnight!

[Premmy]

Harry Potter and Ultimate X-men (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Comicbook/X-Men)
Also if you got all these super sweet abilities that could save the world and fix a lot of its problems you shouldn't help use them to help anybody but you should set up little private secret institutions where you use these great gifts to play stupid games and scoff at all the lessers dying in the world because you are a victorian toff.
You are soooo right.

[Magus]

Wait, when was Harry Potter a war criminal anyway? Was it because he tried to torture that chick that one time but failed because he wasn't evil enough?

[BloodyMage]

Although...is a lot of this just stemming from the fact you are yourself a frustrated writer who gets rejection letters because no publisher wants to publish your stuff? I could tell you why.

The reason why...

Those who can, do. Those who can't criticize.


That a rather assholish attitude towards the criticism, man. I mean, for one, you need a rather good, indepth understanding of literature, it's history, the cultural implications, the social background and how to write to even begin to be a critic. There are probably plenty of critics who could be writers, and there are probably a lot of writers who couldn't be writers, because analytical writing and creative writing are really two different animals. They might share a lot of the same traits and characteristics but the differ in large ways too. It seems unfair to level Smarty as some sort of bitter and angry failed writer just because he's criticising some classics.

Also, I can kind of understand what he's getting at. Well's The Time Traveller was largely a social exploration of the class system, reflecting that the upper classes would become weak and feeble from their reliance on the lower classes who would become strong and brutish. While it might seem like a social attack, it does reaffirm that the lower classes are brutish animals, while the upper class are spoiled and intelligent, so it even Well's writing had it's own unfortunate implications, much like Meyer's writing does to relationships and a woman's place within one.

On topic though, I can't really think of anything I've been forced to watch. I do watch a lot of crap, but most of it I put myself through. No one drags me into them.

[RobinStarwing]

That a rather assholish attitude towards the criticism, man. I mean, for one, you need a rather good, indepth understanding of literature, it's history, the cultural implications, the social background and how to write to even begin to be a critic.

It seems unfair to level Smarty as some sort of bitter and angry failed writer just because he's criticising some classics.



I was joking around with that. It wasn't meant to be serious.