Let's watch the Superbowl

[Professor Smarmiarty]

So let's watch the superbowl!
I know the rules of American Football and that's about it (general opinion over here is that American football is just rugby for pussies). So let's see:

Sof ar we've had lots of tough guy American actors telling us about the teams and no actual analysis so far good start.
They keep hyping it as the biggest event in the sporting stage which it's clearly not- BBC coverage should know this.
Now we're getting lots of references to Dallas- the tv show, classic.
Players coming out, they look a bit fat a lot of them and not muscely fat either.
I've decided to support Pittsburgh cause they made of steel so obviously will win.
Are they playing on future grass? That has to hurt when tackled.
Christina Aguilera singing anthem- she played at my high school once, that was crazy.

Oh yeah, pre-kick show! Who cares!

Anthems, players look bored. Some jets flew over- that was prety crazy.
Special coin toss ad break! But no ad-breaks on the BBC so going to be filled in with some crazy nongs. It's going to be a long nigh.

[Fenris]

Christina, Christina, Christina... That's not how our anthem goes.

[Professor Smarmiarty]

Green bay wins the toss! Crowd goes wild!
I'm pretty sure with my immense knowledge of America that is exactly how your anthem goes!

[Fenris]

MORE MELISMAS

[Professor Smarmiarty]

Man hug in centre! They all just lying on top of each oher.
The football used is super shiney!

[Marc v4.0]

Man hug in centre! They all just lying on top of each oher.
The football used is super shiney!

That's just good clean Amurican sports, right there! Nothing suspect about giant sweaty man hug piles in the grass.

[Bells]

So... this Super Bowl... it's like One game right? Like a final in a torunament...? yes?

American "Handegg" kinda baffles me...

[Marc v4.0]

I guess. For the longest time I thought it was just a vehicle for selling beer and chicken wings.

[Professor Smarmiarty]

As much as I mock this sport they do have one really good thing- the referee faces the camera/crowd and explains the ruling and who its on. In more "European" sports tey just explain to the player involved and it ok if oyu know the sport but for casual viewers you can get lost.

Why do they need to have a big chat before every play? Are th e players nervous and need reassurances from their buddies?
I totally think they giving secrets handshakes in their secret club huddles.

[Loyal]

I don't care about the sport, I just wanna watch the commercials. The one with the bears was a good start.

Also, that is so not how you catch a ball mister football player.

[Professor Smarmiarty]

Wait I'm on the BBC.. I don't think I'll get the commercials.

Why are we on a break already?

[Fenris]

Adspace. Lots and lots of adspace.

[Aerozord]

I have met many people that watch the super bowl purely for the commercials and admittedly, some of them are quite awesome and often only shown that one time

[Professor Smarmiarty]

Do they actually stop the game to put in ads? That's ridiculous!

[Fenris]

Do they actually stop the game to put in ads? That's ridiculous!

That's America!

[Professor Smarmiarty]

Greenbay touchdown! How did they break the wall of iron!
Hahahaha the defender just giving him little slappy pushes. Surely the correct play is to actually try and push him over.

[Loyal]

Do they actually stop the game to put in ads? That's ridiculous!

Yes. They do. A lot. (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SuperBowlSpecial)
Dohoho, TvTropes.

[Wigmund]

Cowboys & Aliens?

Oh god, I have to see that.

[Professor Smarmiarty]

Anohter touchdown bookeneded by steelers players seemingly made of cardboard. I think they sent out their womens team by mistake.

[Bells]

So let's get into it and talk about Super Bowl ads

Loves me some Office Linebacker (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RzToNo7A-94) even though i have no idea what a linebacker is.

[POS Industries]

Did the Packers just german suplex a dude?

[Professor Smarmiarty]

They gave him a good going over whatever hey did.
Fuck this is annoying. So many breaks. Just when I get into the action it cuts away. Grrrrr. You had a revolution over this?

[Flarecobra]

Hey Smarty, didn't know you were playing.

[Professor Smarmiarty]

Yus, I'm the super running dude.

[Fenris]

Green Bay apparently wants this one way more than Pittsburgh. I just wanted to watch a good game of football. I am sorely disappointed.

[POS Industries]

I guess it is nice to see that, after shedding Brett Cockpics from their ranks, the Packers are going on to completely embarrass Ben Rapistburger.

Good for them!

[Professor Smarmiarty]

Gamesmanship htere- opposition injured so you play fast to get them to use a time out. That's not coool.

Edit: Oh god, I think this guy shines his pants.

[POS Industries]

And, as usual, the performance by the Black Eyed Peas would be improved exponentially by their absence.

[Loyal]

What... the hell... are those dudes dressed in?

[Wigmund]

Oh god, this is embarassingly bad. I know they're terrible, but it's like the sound system is dying as they perform.

Why...Slash? What...

Kill her now. Kill her now. Kill Fergie now.

[POS Industries]

Oh. Oh no, Fergie. Just. Just, no.

[Wigmund]

The only way to improve this is to have Axl Rose appear on stage and kill them all.

And then a decent group of performers comes on stage.

[Professor Smarmiarty]

I quite like this idea of a concert at half-time. Spices things up a bit.
Not this concert though...

[Fenris]

ahahahahah this is the worst thing ever

[POS Industries]

So when does Fergie get her tits out?

That has become a Super Bowl halftime tradition, right?

EDIT: Oh thank god, it's Usher.

...wow, never thought I'd see myself saying that.

[Loyal]

I've heard rumors - From certain unreliable, joy-hating sources - that it was merely a fluke. Just rumors, mind you.

[Wigmund]

Fergie tits couldn't save this.

[Professor Smarmiarty]

Oh man, they should just have this instead of the game.

[POS Industries]

You hear that, Obama? will.i.am demanded you improve education and stimulate the economy. And in front of the whole Super Bowl! You better work harder at that, dude. You been called out.

[Loyal]

Did the lights on the "V" die or something?

I still can't get over the synchronized-dancing Tron suits.

[Wigmund]

Please...please let this end...

Please God...end this...

[Flarecobra]

...Were they wearing plastic storage boxes on their heads?

And hey, could've been worse. They could've had someone like Mirah Carey on or something.

[POS Industries]

I can't decide what's worse: Their original songs or the songs they ripped off. I guess the ripped off songs sting a little more inside.

[Wigmund]

And then the roof collapses...come on roof collapse

I can't decide what's worse: Their original songs or the songs they ripped off. I guess the ripped off songs sting a little more inside.

Kinda wish they had ripped off a Queen song. It would have been enough to resurrect Freddie Mercury out of sheer rage.

[Professor Smarmiarty]

I can't decide what's worse: Their original songs or the songs they ripped off. I guess the ripped off songs sting a little more inside.

You can pretend you're listening to the originals though.

[Flarecobra]

It's not in Minnasota there Wiggles.

[Fenris]

Kinda wish they had ripped off a Queen song. It would have been enough to resurrect Freddie Mercury out of sheer rage.

Sheer rage and Doritos. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uCdnFMp6s84)

[Professor Smarmiarty]

Constrating quotes from twiter: Ok, so watched halftime show on mute. Felt like I was watching a North Korea military spectacular. And Usher.

From @Martha Stewart:Love the half time show. Fergie looks great.the staging is really exciting

[Wigmund]

It's not in Minnasota there Wiggles.
One can wish...one can wish...
But at least the horror is over

[Professor Smarmiarty]

Cranky old man SMB is off to bed. I know you guys are a young country, still learning how to do things, but if you want your quaint little events to take off you need to schedule them at more appropriate times. It's all well and good making up all these little games and we'll come and clap politely but we have empires to run so try to wrap it up earlier next time.
Like it could be a fine little mid afternooon romp but instead I'm here at 2 in the morning watching men fondle each other- this is usually a sign that one's life has taken some interesting turns somewhere.

[Flarecobra]

Pirates Ad= Potental YES.

[Loyal]

Pirates Ad= Potental YES.Potential, yes. We will see if it delivers (or at least, if it delivers on any merit other than Captain Jack Sparrow's presence).
Like it could be a fine little mid afternooon romp but instead I'm here at 2 in the morning watching men fondle each other- this is usually a sign that one's life has taken some interesting turns somewhere.Whee, new signature!

The Coca Cola ad was kinda sweet if you ignore that it was a Coca Cola ad.

[Flarecobra]

Agreed, Loyal.

As for the game...

http://www.opticstalk.com/uploads/5351/img-head-desk.jpg

[POS Industries]

Alf in a Panthers shirt? What?

[Nikose Tyris]

Hahahah Groupon that was the most offensive commercial I've seen since I quit watching TV, thanks for that.

[Flarecobra]

Packers won. :D

[Fenris]

I thought you were a rabid Steelers fan?

[Flarecobra]

No, I'm a Dolphins fan. But I was rooting for the Packers to win for several reasons.

1: Steelers won a couple years ago.
2: It's been a while since the Packers won.
3: Roommate's grew up around Cleveland, which is the Steelers's big rival.

[Fenris]

Now I need to figure out who I was thinking of because now it bothers me.

I wasn't really rooting for either side but I ended up pulling for the Packers, apparently, based on my emotional reactions to some key plays.

[krogothwolf]

wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooo

Packers won!!! Rodgers MVP!!! BOOYAA.

Goddamnit it Nelson dropped or missed way to many passes!

[Magus]

Godamit rothlisbrger i kenw they so;uhld of put batch in.

EDIT: Wait wait let me parse that into English.

Goddammit Roethlisberger I knew they should have put Batch in.

I always scream "put Batch in" 'round about the second Roethlisberger interception that occurs in each game (as there are always at least two).

At least there was no delay of game penalty this week to add insult to injury.

[Flarecobra]

I admit, there were a couple times when I threw down my hat in frustration, especally in the third quarter.

[Magus]

I think Roethlisberger is a perfect Babe Ruth metaphor* in that Babe Ruth, while having the record for home runs, also had the record for strikeouts. If you average together the amount of yardage and turnovers Roethlisberger has given opposing teams with the positive yardage he's created with his amazing passes, he'd probably be considered slightly below average. Maybe someone has done this somewhere.

The reason Ruth was considered so great is a homerun makes up for like, ten strikeouts. It's the same with touchdowns or completed passes in football.

Unfortunately for Roethlisberger, when you give the other team the ball they then have the chance to score points, which the Packers did. His screwups are at least as damaging as his successes are positive. His net performance is....just okay but he's pretty lucky and good at dodging in the pocket. It's not as amazing as he could be if he learned to throw the ball away once in a while instead of losing yardage on plays that just aren't working out. It also helps that he is supported by players who are by and large some of the best in the sport, but until he returns that support and starts playing a slightly more sensible game (after all, he is famous for turning flop plays into successes, so he should continue doing his best there, but attempt to strike a balance) he will be considered good but not great.

*If you ignore that they played totally different sports, I mean, but that is why it is a metaphor.