They ruined a good title!

[Professor Smarmiarty]

In this thread we take things with fantastic, yet misleading titles, and propose better alternatives.
Like
Black Gestapo:
What it actually is: Lame blacksploitation drama
What it should be: Black man sneaks into the gestapo, series of comic misadventures as his identity is nearly discovered by his bumbling commander. Final scene: he must play at the county jazz competition across town while also being present for the barracks inspectionary vist of Hitler at the same time, running between the two, forgetting to remove his uniform in one, his saxophone in the other. Comedy gold.

Blade Runner:
What it actually is: Hum-drum sci-fi
What it should be:In a world ravaged by war, guns are the only currency. Cold, impersonal killing machines stalk the landscape, gunning down all regardless of rank or class. But for one man, this is too far, one man dreams of honour, of carrying the price of suffering, of being a man. This man is the Blade Runner.

MoonRaker:
What it actually is: Second best bond movie, still shit
What it should be: Professor Lawrence Donovan is an ordinary man, he drives to work, he teaches class, he stops for a coffee on the way home. Until one day, his life, his career, his work in linguistic archaeology is turned upside down. What secrets did he discover? What is too frightening for us to say? Why is the government trying to stop him? Did General Franco use the works of Gaudi to hide secrets to his Nazi gold, hidden on the moon? Will they dig it up before air runs out?
Find out in MoonRaker!

[BitVyper]

Blade Runner:
What it actually is: Hum-drum sci-fi

Fuck you.

[russianreversal]

What it actually is: Second best bond movie, still shit Fu- wait.
What it actually is: Second best bond movie Fuck you.

[Amake]

http://i696.photobucket.com/albums/vv324/immortalpictures/000063.jpg
I don't actually remember what Dark Arms was about, but I'm sure I like my version more.

[Professor Smarmiarty]

Fu- wait.
Fuck you.

Guess what the best one is!It's Casino Royale- the original one


The Quick and the Dead:
What it actually is: Lame actiony-western
What it should be: Werewolves vs Zombies

Lost in Space:
What it actually is: Terrible campy movie/tv-show
What it should be: Lost in space

[Art of Hilt]

Blade Runner should have been a title about a movie of people who have an ice skating tournament, only it's in a futuristic sci-fi version of a Roman Coliseum, to the death, and there's no ice.

[Professor Smarmiarty]

No that's Blades of Glory.

[Sky Warrior Bob]

Smart McBarrelpants
What he actually is: Just an opinionated person on the internet, pretty much like everyone else
What he should be: An insane bunny, who is completelly obsessed with making everyone 'Do a Barrel Rol (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BS8Yt32d29s)l'

Sorry, but this world needs more insane bunnies. We've got pleny of opininonated ppl on the internet. Besides, the Timothy Dalton Bond flicks were the best.

[russianreversal]

Besides, the Timothy Dalton Bond flicks were the best. Oh my god has everyone gone cra-

Oh wait it's April Fools. Good one, guys.

Good one.

[Professor Smarmiarty]

How is Moonraker not the best EON bond? Bond movies are about being ridiculously silly and just doing crazy shit- in no movie do they do more ridiculously silly and crazy shit than Moonraker.

[Fifthfiend]

My Little Ponies: Friendship is Magic

What it is: A bunch of girly bullshit.

What it should have been:
http://i289.photobucket.com/albums/ll225/Lammasu_2008/Pony/justkidding.gif

[Seil]

Star Wars

What It Actually Was: Rebels fighting the evil empire, learning psychic powers from a puppet and a cool breathing sound with lots of explosions.

What It Should Have Been: Constellations fighting to the death, resulting in all the stars going out, the only light in the night sky is the moon. The people below believe the Gods to have abandoned them, and start to panic, devolving into mass hysteria and warfare.

[Fifthfiend]

Phantom Menace: Babbyvader tries spinning; judges it "a good trick". Something about... taxation?

What it should have been: A literal phantom sweeping the galaxy devouring Jedi souls. And slaughtering Ewoks, because come on, you can never spend enough time slaughtering Ewoks.

[Professor Smarmiarty]

Captain America:
What it will be: World war 2 with a superhero
What it should be: Captain America, world war 2 hero, defeater of Hitler, is frozen only to wake up 50 years later in the mid 1990s. Terrified to see Germans and Japanese freely walking the streets he starts a brutal protection racket to save his local neighbourhoods from the Nazi threats. As his funds and power grows he unleashes a brutal takeover of the government collaboraters and arms up the US for a brutal invasion of Germany. Germany is quickly defeated but ties up the US in a guerrila war before in the dramatic twist ending it turns out he was correct all along as Hitler emerges as the power behind Russia and a brutal Russian invasion of the now defencless US is only thwarted by a desperate commando assassination of Hitler by the Captain.

[tacticslion]

"They ruined a good title!"
What it was: this thread.

What it should have been: the epic story of how a single piece of paper - that which granted ownership of a royal blue Mercedes Benz - accidentally brushed out of an open car window bravely and heroically made a tremendous over-land journey to get back to its rightful owner (making friends with many, lovable inanimate objects along the way), until at last, it found it's rightful owner who it clings to tenaciously. After the long years of travel, it's owner takes the dirty, scuffed up, moldy, illegible piece of brave and heroic paper... and burns it to warm himself in the barrel-fire that night. The end.