5 Fast 5 Furious: Diesalien vs. TheRockedator

[Fifthfiend]

This movie is everything I could possibly have hoped for it to be.

[Bells]

It's so stupid i just HAVE to see it!

Is it in 3d? cause i would love to see this ridonculous piece of film in 3d

[Magus]

Reasons film is the greatest work of cinematography:

1. Director had foresight to have Rock grow evil-twin-beard so the fight between him and Diesel wouldn't be confusing to us.

2. Physics of bank heist scene so unrealistic they could only have been done so on purpose by advanced physicists to illustrate how Diesel's presence warps space-time.

3. The Rock's rampant, torrential sweating in contrast with Vin Diesel's dry-as-a-desert facade perfect use of symbolism for how Diesel's vigilante schemes are closer to the spirit of the law than The Rock's bureaucratic "justice".

4. Bro-hug levels in this film reach heretofore unknown levels of bro-hug-ocity, shattering humanity's preconceptions of bromance.

5. Objectivization of women's bodies brought to new, staggeringly sexy heights.

6. Amount of alcohol consumed by characters only matched by amount of fuel consumed, illustrating the American culture's obsession with consumption.

7. Film challenges our moral compasses by having us see Vin Deisel rip-off mobsters, but then attempt to have us feel he is perfectly in the right to get revenge on them for trying to kill him by ripping them off even more.

8. Amount of words spoken by the Rock number in hundreds instead of only dozens, illustrating new advances in Rock-dialogue technology.

9. Paul Walker's performance as Vin Diesel's mentally challenged friend and soon-to-be in-law should earn him an Academy Award.

10. Lotsa cars smashed real good.

[Fifthfiend]

2. Physics of bank heist scene so unrealistic they could only have been done so on purpose by advanced physicists to illustrate how Diesel's presence warps space-time.

First Law of FastnFuriousverse Thermodynamics:

NOS can do anything.

7. Film challenges our moral compasses by having us see Vin Deisel rip-off mobsters, but then attempt to have us feel he is perfectly in the right to get revenge on them for trying to kill him by ripping them off even more.

I thought it was interesting how the movie had the main characters straight-up killing so many people, subverting the traditional Furiousverse morality of bad guys: SHOOT PEOPLE WITH GUNS, good guys: DRIVE CARS SUPER-GOOD

[Azisien]

First Law of Dieseldynamics:

NOS can do anything

THERE we go.

e: second law, watch yoooo back!

e2: how about "vin diesel being IN-YO-FACE is never zero and always increasing."

[Karrrrrrrrrrrresche]

I thought it was interesting how the movie had the main characters straight-up killing so many people, subverting the traditional Furiousverse morality of bad guys: SHOOT PEOPLE WITH GUNS, good guys: DRIVE CARS SUPER-GOOD

I was worried that the cast would seem good or that the whole thing would devolve into a GOOD GUYS OVER HERE BAD GUYS OVER THERE OKAY FIGHT kinda thing but it always seemed to be taking lengths to make sure you understood that there is no good or evil, only Vin Diesel's muscles and the Rock's beard.

[Bells]

i'm pretty sure the moment you have a truck being rammed into a Train, and they cars jumping Through that same train, you can toss out any balance of heroes and villains

[Fifthfiend]

watch yoooo back!

I'm a little disappointed this song wasn't in the movie.

Especially since it even had that one guy in it.

[Magus]

Dieseldynamics

I heard you can only get a degree in Dieseldynamics from Fuck Yeah University (FYU), where did they find their experts for this film?

[Fifthfiend]

I heard you can only get a degree in Dieseldynamics from Fuck Yeah University (FYU), where did they find their experts for this film?

The School of Hard NOS

[Bells]

Also via Dieseldynamics you can explain that if the Coeficient of Vin Dieselness is equal or above 1 in a 200 feet radius, there is a possibility of a NOS fueled car Materializing by itself

[Azisien]

This thread is fucking amazing. Almost sticky worthy.

Relevant. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iIY5b1JMvGs)

[Bells]

Try to Decipher what this man is saying (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ocO8Vyv1A58&feature=related)

[Fifthfiend]

Bells's video reminds me of another totally great thing about this movie, which is that The Rock led an elite police unit which apparently had a sponsorship deal with UnderArmor.

[Magus]

Well, it has Armor in the name. Makes sense.

[The Sevenshot Kid]

9. Paul Walker's performance as Vin Diesel's mentally challenged friend and soon-to-be in-law should earn him an Academy Award.

You owe me a new keyboard cause I just spat Coke all over it.

[Fifthfiend]

Well, it has Armor in the name. Makes sense.

Of course everyone on the team who isn't The Rock dies terribly so I guess it was pretty shitty armor.

I figure The Rock lives because he doesn't actually need armor, he is THE ROCK, duh