[1986] Megatron literally has the gun in his hands before Hot Rod does anything

[Fifthfiend]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rcHOM_465Vw

If you watch that and seriously think Optimus was totally gonna shoot the shit out of Megatron except for dumb ol' Hot Rod got in his way you are delusional, ALSO, crazy, ALSO, a cannibal, who eats people, as a result of being delusional and crazy.

I mean I know we all hate Hot Rod and must never, ever forgive him for replacing Optimus for like five minutes, and also turning into an RV camper with flames painted on the sides because what the fuck was that about, I mean come on, but all he is guilty of re: Optimus's death is failing to save Optimus for his own stupidity.

Thanks for your time, I hope all of you who needed the facts explained on this pressing topic of momentous import can take this message to heart, and stop other eating human beings.

[Fifthfiend]

http://img854.imageshack.us/img854/5103/optimusisdumb.jpg

Why aren't you firing right now Optimus? Why aren't you doing anything about this enemy with a gun right there in his hands, the way Hot Rod is attempting to do?

Oh wait that's right: because you are a stupid, stupid robot, Optimus Prime. Because you are literally too stupid to live.

[Professor Smarmiarty]

WHAT IS THIS SHIT?
Optimus had his gun pointed right at Megatron. NO way would megatron have got a shot off first. Optimus was just about to fire when he got distracted by Hotrod running in.

Don't be an apologist.

Watch that video again. Optimus is hit by 2 purple blasts then by 2 orange/yellow blasts. Megatron shoots purple blasts. Who shoots orange/yellow blasts? HOTROD.

[Fifthfiend]

Your delusions have blinded you to the shameful poverty of your own apologetics for your sacred robot cow; your best "defense" is that Optimus is so inept as a soldier that he gets distracted from an enemy right in front of him who has literally already just picked up a gun, by someone who is telling him that his opponent has just picked up a gun. You have basically yourself conceded that Optimus is a shameful failure as a warrior and as a leader of warriors, all so that you can tell yourself that he is a somewhat less pathetic failure than he actually obviously is, and also so that you can convince yourself that it is okay to continue to eat people, which it's not, it is gross and wrong.

[Marc v4.0]

Han shot First

[Professor Smarmiarty]

Your delusions have blinded you to the shameful poverty of your own apologetics for your sacred robot cow; your best "defense" is that Optimus is so inept as a soldier that he gets distracted from an enemy right in front of him who has literally already just picked up a gun, by someone who is telling him that his opponent has just picked up a gun. You have basically yourself conceded that Optimus is a shameful failure as a warrior and as a leader of warriors, all so that you can tell yourself that he is a somewhat less pathetic failure than he actually obviously is, and also so that you can convince yourself that it is okay to continue to eat people, which it's not, it is gross and wrong.

Well I'm sorry that we don't live in a fantasy land where the good guys never lose and the bad guys never win. In the heat of battle mistakes are made.
Need i remind you that this sequence comes after Optimus has SINGLEHANDEDLY decimated the entire Decepticon army. He was tired, he was weary- mistakes happen.
So we can let Hotrod off then? Because it was just a mistake.
No for it is the job of leaders to make decisions that minimise risk and possibility of mistakes. Optimus did this by taking on Megatron himself. He could have brought the dinobots or Omega Supreme but he knew that they would be endangered by Megatron in a way that would hinder his ability to deploy his full fighting potential. By contravening Prime's orders Hotrod collapsed the leadership structure and massively upscaled potential risk, which culminated in the circumstances that came about. The actions of a lone radiacal, an unforeseen variable completely subverted a battleplan that had been executed flawlessly up until this point.
Indeed his entire battleplan was predicated against avoiding such interfering factors as Prime knew that he could defeat Megatron in a single fight whereas other soldiers would be damaged by the sheer gross energy being exchanged between the two titanic combatants. Prime's concern for his soldier, entering a battlefield full of gross exchange of firepower that would damage the fragile frame of Hotrod, a lover not a fighter, collaterally or on purpose, shows a humanity that is lost in today's military. Prime knew that even if he hit Megatron straight on the backlash would rip asunder the much weaker Hot Rod and thus Prime sought an alternate approach to the conflict which alas failed.
Optimus plotted a course for victory which would hve been achieved if his soldiers had stayed on course. Sure he could have perhaps accounted for the sheer ineptness of Hotrod but no war plan, particularly when pitted against such an irasacible opponent is perfect and the success of his plan up till that point is remarkable considering the distinct firepower advantage possessed by the Decepticons.

As for his leadership ability, need I remind you that Optimus transcends death and brings about the Golden Age of Cybertron. His leadership credentials are unimpeachable.


And aside from all that you still haven't answered the most pertinent question- Who was the second gunman? Both the direction and the colour of the bolts rule out all but Hot Rod. Perhaps Optimus could have survived the blasts of Megatron. He had survived the blasts of the entire Decepticon armada up until this point. No.. what killed him was the blasts.... of Betrayal.

[Krylo]

Hotrod had no gun, and Megatron clearly fired at least three shots. We see only two purple blasts hit Optimus, but four blasts in total.

Either Megatron's blasts altered color (perhaps his gun was over heating or in some sort of overcharge mode), or he somehow missed so widely on his third shot that it was never captured on camera.

Given the distance and Megatron's accuracy to that point as well as the first orange blast having timing and aim completely in line with his third shot, I find this highly doubtful.

[Professor Smarmiarty]

No gun you say.
I point you to 2:23 of this clip: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k1SNgRxiyF0
Notice how Hot Rod doesn't need guns and also fires the same colour of blasts that took out prime.
I find it doubtful that his purple firing gun suddendly shoots orange. Prime is hit by 2 purple blasts and 2 orange blasts. Thus under your scenario- Megatron being a good shot and all the blasts being from him, at least one blast has to change colour in between being fired and hitting Prime. That is out of line with all the other energy weapon shots we have seen in the transformers universe.

[Fifthfiend]

No gun you say.
I point you to 2:23 of this clip: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k1SNgRxiyF0
Notice how Hot Rod doesn't need guns and also fires the same colour of blasts that took out prime.
I find it doubtful that his purple firing gun suddendly shoots orange. Prime is hit by 2 purple blasts and 2 orange blasts. Thus under your scenario- Megatron being a good shot and all the blasts being from him, at least one blast has to change colour in between being fired and hitting Prime. That is out of line with all the other energy weapon shots we have seen in the transformers universe.

Now that Smarty's argument has devolved to insane conspiracy theories sputtered between mouthfuls of human flesh, I feel that it is a good time to point out that anyone who disagrees with me not only eats other people, but ALSO, agrees with Smarty McBarrelpants.

[Osterbaum]

I'd like to remind everyone that the origin of these orange blasts has never been proven either way. I'm not big on conspiracies and all, just stating the facts.

[Professor Smarmiarty]

It's not like I eat alive people.

And all I'm saying is its pretty convienient that the man who inherited the matrix of leadership on Optimus' death was the same one whose actions lead to Optimus' demise.
That is what we call a motive. When you seek to solve a crime, always follow the money.

Hot Rod who convientenly has no history with the transformers- immediatly following his appearance Optimus is killed and he profits immenesly. Optimus had survived 5 MILLION YEARS of war, all of them against Megatron and yet as soon as he recruits Hot Rod to his survive his demise is instant.
This stinks of a calculated attempt to gain Prime's trust before throwing him to Megatron in exchange for the Matrix.

[Fifthfiend]

Truly the most insane part of Smarty's insane conspiracies - aside from the part where he kills and devours his family, acquaintances, and anyone unfortunate enough to cross his path - is the part where he seeks to impugn the character of the hero chosen by the Matrix of Leadership itself in the infinite wisdom of the Allspark to light the Transformers' darkest hour, after said Matrix sensibly chose to let Optimus die, in recognition that he was simply too stupid to be allowed to go on living and that a real hero would be needed for the planet- and universe-saving work ahead.

[Fifthfiend]

Fact: after five million years of Optimus's so-called leadership, the Autobots remained locked in a losing war with a Cybertron dominated by Decepticon scum.

Fact: After two minutes and twenty-five seconds of the leadership of Rodimus Prime, Unicron the mad space god was destroyed, Galvatron was vanquished, the Decepticons were routed and the Autobots stood in their rightful place as leaders of Cybertron.

Fact: Before he went cannibal, Smarty was a vegan

[Karrrrrrrrrrrresche]

Fact: after five million years of Optimus's so-called leadership, the Autobots remained locked in a losing war with a Cybertron dominated by Decepticon scum.

Fact: After two minutes and twenty-five seconds of the leadership of Rodimus Prime, Unicron the mad space god was destroyed, Galvatron was vanquished, the Decepticons were routed and the Autobots stood in their rightful place as leaders of Cybertron.

Fact: Before he went cannibal, Smarty was a vegan

Isn't that just a grand coincidence there?
It's almost as if Rodimus had some foreknowledge of when it would be best to take over.

[Professor Smarmiarty]

Fact: Fifthfiend and Rodimus were seen entering the men's toilets one after the another and did not come out again for TWENTY MINUTES.

[Sifright]

I heard it was five minutes, and Rodimus had an odd colour lubricant on his hydraulics! Also Rodimus doesn't even excrete waste products because he runs on pure energon!

[Satan's Onion]

Pandering to society's latent robophobia, Smarty? That strategy smacks of having run out of solid arguments. It's shameful, really, stoking the flames of bigotry so blatantly.

[Sifright]

Fact: Fifthfiend and Rodimus share an inappropriate relationship due to their professional credentials.

Fact: Smarty has brought up a clear conflict of interest.

Fact: Satan, has attempted to obfuscate this by playing the bigotry card.

Fact: Satan is both an onion and goes by the alternative name Lucifer the eternal deceiver.

Fact: Onions make people cry.

I think we know where this is leading.

[Professor Smarmiarty]

Pandering to society's latent robophobia, Smarty? That strategy smacks of having run out of solid arguments. It's shameful, really, stoking the flames of bigotry so blatantly.

We hate it because it is SHAMEFUL, DISGUSTING and MORALLY OFFENSIVE.
Everybody who practices it has a DEVIANT and CRIMINAL mind.

[Satan's Onion]

And yet, you'll note that Smarty apparently chose not to emphasize this alleged "conflict of interest", electing instead to paint a lurid tableau of seedy, degrading bathroom robo-sex. Why mention the location of this alleged encounter at all (that is, if it really happened! Is there any evidence beyond this wild accusation?), if not to play upon our society's deeply-rooted insecurity and fear of consensual acts between robots and adult humans?

Shame, sirs, shame on you! Orgasm is the right of all sentient beings who are of age and capable of informed consent.

[BitVyper]

We're forgetting that Galvatron is kind of a pussy. If Megatron could have been permanently defeated by something as simple as throwing him, the war would have been over a long time ago. I mean, did Galvatron forget that he can fly, or what?

[Professor Smarmiarty]

And yet, you'll note that Smarty apparently chose not to emphasize this alleged "conflict of interest", electing instead to paint a lurid tableau of seedy, degrading bathroom robo-sex. Why mention the location of this alleged encounter at all (that is, if it really happened! Is there any evidence beyond this wild accusation?), if not to play upon our society's deeply-rooted insecurity and fear of consensual acts between robots and adult humans?

Shame, sirs, shame on you! Orgasm is the right of all sentient beings who are of age and capable of informed consent.

I ask you where you were during the time of the encounter? Were you perhaps, ALSO IN THE TOILET STALL?

Or perhaps you were too busy handing out orgasms to ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS. Optimus Prime was born in America, created by robots in his crashed ark. What about Rodimus Prime? He was not there in that act of creation. Where was he born? I BET YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW.
Rights must be fought for, defended and protected, not allowed to be trampled upon by one Rodimus Prime or should I say RODS IMPERIUM which is latin for RULING STAFFS.

[Satan's Onion]

Methinks the bigot doth protest too much.

Let me turn the question around: How do you know of this alleged bathroom encounter, unless you were there yourself? You seem suspiciously familiar with the idea of wild, well-lubricated robosex in a men's room stall.

Not only a robophobe, but a hypocrite and full of self-loathing. I almost pity you.

[PyrosNine]

Seriously guys, we're arguing about Transformers? It was just a movie from the Eighties with a completely inappropriate soundtrack, of all the juven-

But you know, I think we can cut Optimus some slack guys, the man died for all of Cybertron's robotic sins!

And Y'know, it's hard being awesome Space Robot Truck all the time. And y'know, for a guy who could walk on water and fly or some shit, the J-man wasn't so super right at the point before he died.

I'm just saying Optimus knew it was his time, and embraced the finality of death from getting shot by Megatron and the expected betrayal of Transformer Judas/Peter Hot Rod.

Like, before the movie Optimus went up to Hot Rod and "At some point in this movie you will shoot me!" and Hot Rod was all. "Not I, Optimus!" "You say that, but before this movie is through, you will shoot me two times and completely miss on the third and it won't be in the shot."

And then, when Megatron was picking up his gun he secretly passed a message to Hot Rod offering him 30 shekels of energon.

If anyone has anymore questions, I have these neat flyers my mom printed out for me from the First Church of the All Spark.

[BitVyper]

with a completely inappropriate soundtrack

Fuck you.

[Osterbaum]

But you know, I think we can cut Optimus some slack guys, the man died for all of Cybertron's robotic sins!
Oh so you're one of those religious Primean fanatics. Your kind is the worst. Next you'll be telling me how Prime's opinion about everything ever is absolute and we should all just follow his "code".

[PyrosNine]

Oh so you're one of those religious Primean fanatics. Your kind is the worst. Next you'll be telling me how Prime's opinion about everything ever is absolute and we should all just follow his "code".

TIL ALL ARE ONE, OSTER, TIL ALL ARE ONE.

WITH OPTIMUS.

[Shyria Dracnoir]

http://i212.photobucket.com/albums/cc230/Shyria_Dracnoir/130913651270.jpg

[Grimpond]

I blame the animators who forgot to color the blasts properly.

[Aerozord]

No see there was another shooter, but you didn't see him. It was the genocidal madman known as Hasbro. Driven insane by millions of years of war believing that the only way to remove the stagnation was to cleanse the upper echelons of both sides. But not for the sake of peace. No so he could continue profiting from the creation of new warriors for both sides.

OPEN YOUR EYES PEOPLE TO CYBERTRONS TRUE MASTERS, CORPORATE INTERESTS

[Fifthfiend]

Fact: Fifthfiend and Rodimus were seen entering the men's toilets one after the another and did not come out again for TWENTY MINUTES.

This is p. obviously flaming, reporting this post to the mods.

[Fenris]

This is p. obviously flaming, reporting this post to the mods.

Truly the most insane part of Smarty's insane conspiracies - aside from the part where he kills and devours his family, acquaintances, and anyone unfortunate enough to cross his path

http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a121/NuklearFenris/Reaction%20Images/tumblr_lhljx4VD4l1qaha6c.png

I mean, you're really gonna get upset about a post that ostensibly insinuates that you had homosexual relations with Rodimus, while you're over here saying that SMB is Jeffrey Dahmer?

[Lumenskir]

http://i18.photobucket.com/albums/b139/JSO2897/thats_the_joke.jpg

[Fenris]

http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a121/NuklearFenris/Reaction%20Images/tumblr_llx623FsfR1qkdotdo1_400.gif

[Professor Smarmiarty]

insinuates that you had homosexual relations with Rodimus

Robots aren't people, thus its clearly robosexual.

[Fifthfiend]

Haha all right that's our show for the evening ladies and gentlemen, thanks to all of you for coming out and a very special thank you to my esteemed associate Mr. S.M. Barrelpants, you really brought your A-game tonight and it shows, it's been a real pleasure working with you and I hope we can do it again soon.

But really the biggest thanks of all goes out to all of you, you're a beautiful crowd full of beautiful people and I want you to give yourselves a big round of applause, goodnight!

[Kerensky287]

Mr. Fifthfiend's wardrobe is provided by Piss'n'Vinegar outfitters. If you would like tickets to a live screening of the Fifthfiend Show, call our toll-free number at 1-800-DA-FIEND, or text "PLEADTHEFIFTH" to 75757.

[POS Industries]

NEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRDS