Dragon Ball RP, Chapter 1 - Hilariously Derailing One-Liner

[POS Industries]

She had quickly lost track of how long they'd been driving. There wasn't much talking, though it sounded like Cherry was sobbing, and the bag over her head was itchy. And it smelled like potatoes. And now she was hungry. Maybe they'd stop for some fries? She was about to ask before she felt the van come to a halt and could hear the door open, a hand grabbing her roughly and pulling her out. Cherry was crying louder now.

"Where are you taking us?" another frantic voice piped up. Valencia's. "Why are you doing th--"

A low, growling voice cut her off, "That ain't for you to know, now get movin'!"

Her hands were tied up. Pointless, though it was probably hurting the others. No sense in doing anything about it, though. She made a promise, and she wasn't going to break it. Granted, it seemed kinda stupid to be keeping it, now that she really thought about it, but "under no circumstances" meant "under no circumstances," and she wasn't about to lose her job over something like this. At least not until she thought she had a chance of getting away with it.

But waiting is hard. And boring. And she was still hungry. And where are those fries?

Suddenly, the sack was pulled off her head and she adjusted to the light. Looks like a warehouse. Of course it's a warehouse. Bad guys always hide out in warehouses. Or abandoned factories. Or abandoned amusement parks. Or warehouses for abandoned factories that produce abandoned amusement parks! Or... wait. Getting off track.

She saw about a dozen guys around her. Mostly humans, a couple dogs and pigs. All had guns, though some of them looked like the probably didn't need them too often. Probably not a high school diploma between the lot of them. Cherry and Valencia were huddled together to her left and... yep. Cherry was still crying. She does that. Can't blame her.

"Aw yeah, there they are! Good work, boys!" a nasally voice echoed through the room. A short, squat fellow in the ugliest green suit she ever saw waddled in, taking a puff from his cigar. To his right was a much larger man. Maybe seven feet tall, head shaven, expensive suit, eyes hidden behind sunglasses. He had the rugged, hardened look of some kind of ex-mercenary now dabbling in the bodyguard trade. She could see the gun holstered inside his jacket, though the feeling she got from him let her know he definitely didn't need it.

"Ohhh... Big!" she blurted out, eyes squinted into slits by the broad smile that seemed to perpetually cover her face. The other girls looked at her, baffled by her attitude given the circumstances.

"You better believe he is, sister!" the boss laughed, "So don't try anything funny. You just sit here, we get in touch with your boss, and so long as he plays ball, you get to go home safe and sound. But if don't, well... I certainly can't be held responsible for the consequences."

Sala sighed quietly to herself behind the smile. This was going to be a long day.

* * *

West City. The biggest megalopolis on Earth.

The offices of Fajita Sizzle Records was in a panic, not that they had any intention of letting the press know about it. Police were a different sort of guest than the producers, executives, and cavalcade of pretty faces masquerading as "artists" that normally paraded around place. So were the band of hired hooligans that were now being invited to the CEO's office.

Felix Fajita sat behind his desk, a lean, tanned man in a white suit with his long, blond hair tied in a ponytail. He greeted his new prospective employees with a smooth, confident voice, "Welcome, friends! I trust you had no trouble at the front desk? Rest assured, I am more than pleased you were all able to find the job offer and I'm sure we'll all find this exciting new business opportunity mutually beneficial."

He nodded to the receptionist as she closed the door, his voice growing quieter. "It was come to our attention that one of our top acts, Team Three Star, has been kidnapped. While we are happy with any assistance provided by law enforcement," he glanced at the android policeman by the wall to his right, "We at Fajita Sizzle Records believe that some... outside private intervention might be in our best interests financially. I'm sure you all understand perfectly, as well as understand our desire to keep this quiet for the time being, yes?"

[Inbred Chocobo]

~Earlier Today~

"Chief, would you mind explaining why instead of other officers of the force, I'm going to be working with a bunch of goons that this Mr Fajita decided to throw money." Mack stated in the cramped little office. The door had already slammed behind them, so with the only noise in the office being the little fan in the room blowing air at the Chief while he was bent over his desk, the silent response that he gave at first set Mack on edge. The chief adjusted his glasses to finish reading whatever document he was pouring over, drawing out the seconds.

Finally, he leaned back, taking a good look at Mack. "There are quite a few reasons Officer McKinley. One, this issue needs to stay under wraps, as quiet as we can. This means the less people know about it, the less chance word has of getting out. Let's face it, we got a few people in here that would love to gossip about something like this to a reporter, and then we are going to have a serious public situation we don't need to deal with. Two, since I don't know who exactly they are hiring, I'm sending you as you are the most likely cop I have around that could handle himself in a situation without support, which if Fajita is right in that he knows who he is picking up, then it shouldn't matter, but I would like to hedge my bet. Third, because I told you. I believe you have somewhere to be in an hour, so I suggest you get moving Officer McKinley."

Mack walked out of the office, clearly unhappy with the fact that he is getting shoe-horned into what felt like a rodeo of exotic characters. As the door swung close he saw the chief looking back down as his papers, a look of annoyance on his face. Whether it was from the fact that Mack didn't like it, or if he didn't like the situation any better was hard to say. Still, Mack took a quick route home, getting into his street clothing, he really didn't need to draw much attention.

~In the office of the CEO~

He beat everyone there to the office, and after talking with the CEO, Felix explained that he would go into depth about the kidnapping once everyone was here, that way he wouldn't be repeating himself over 9000 times. Mack had agreed, and after a little bit of wait, and a cup of coffee, the group had arrived. Mack stood up, seemingly relaxed and uptight at the same time. He nodded towards the group as Felix introduced himself, but kept his mouth shut for the time being so he could hear the input the rest of the group had to play. If he was going to work with these people, first thing is first let's see what comes out of their mouth.

[mauve]

Most people would agree that pencils are not very good conversationalists. This mostly comes from a general lack of sentience on the part of the pencil. It's difficult for a small object made of tree guts stuffed with compressed minerals to care about much of anything enough to strike up a conversation.

One particular pencil on Mr. Fajita's desk, however, had quite a lot of distressing thoughts on its mind. Foremost was a deep concern about the sudden appearance of the aforementioned Mr. Fajita and his guests into an office which, by the pencil's calculations, should have remained deserted for at least another half hour. This definitely threw a proverbial monkey wrench into the pencil's plans, which, ironically, had nothing to do with being a pencil on the desk of a man who looked waaaaay too wealthy to even own a pencil.

Oh damn. thought the pencil. Oh damn oh damn oh damn oh why didn't I think of becoming a fancy pen?!

The sentient pencil was worried for his continued existance. Not, as one might expect from a writing implement, due to a deep seated fear of being sharpened or breaking, although the concern was indeed there, but from the fear of someone finding out that the pencil wasn't a pencil at all, but a smallish raccoon shapechanger who had up until this point been busy trying to figure out which fancy desk drawer to ransack first before anyone came back from lunch break.

Now there was a regular conference going on with Dango the Treasure Hunter hiding in plain sight in the middle of it all. Dango was not pleased.

Oh damn, he thought again. oh damn oh damn oh damn oh--wait, did he say Team Three Star? The thief was suddenly interested. Team Three Star was some teenybopper "music group," right? The ones who had their faces plastered on t-shirts, lunch boxes, breakfast cereals and collectible mugs, right? Dango smelled reward money.

Ok. Ok. He could make this work. All he had to do was get off this desk--somehow-- and sneak along after Team Rescue Squad here. Then all he'd have to do is watch for an opportunity to either A) steal their reward money for himself or B) join the gang of kidnappers and claim a share of the ransom money should Rescue Team Alpha here get destroyed.

Dango was a genius. Now all he had to do was pick one of these unsuspecting fools to tag along with.

[CABAL49]

Mori began to rub his scalp. With his free hand he gave a thumbs up to Mr. Fajita.

"Don't worry Mr. Fajita, I'll have them out of there in no time at all." He ended this with a wide smile.

What was going through his mind though was, OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT! I heard something about working with Team Three Star, that could have really made my career!

Calm down, you don't actually have to save them. Just get in an epic fight for the media to see, let the others handle the rest. Get hurt a little bit to excuse you from the main fighting. You are a professional, you know how to stage an injury. Let the heroes save the girl and use the publicity to launch your career!

His smile became bigger and more genuine.

[Red Mage Black]

If it wasn't for the fact his television broke, Kenny wouldn't have been here in the first place. He was missing valuable cartoon time and he had to cancel classes due to his bad mood. Luckily for his neighbors, the last few days had actually been peaceful for them with nothing breaking or falling off the walls.

"Team who now?" Kenny asked amidst the others hired. His eyes had been focused on one thing, that lone pencil on the desk. Something odd about it... something that was bugging him. Oh yeah, was that a number two or number three? His eyes glanced away from the desk and up towards the ceiling. He began to idly twist his pinky in there, wedging out a bit of nasty wax and flicking it away, probably to the chagrin of the others.

Why was he here again? All these people seemed rather odd and... wasn't he missing cartoons right about now? Oh yeah, the television is busted! Wait, how was I going to earn money for it? Right, that ad in the paper! Just one paycheck and I can actually afford something decent. This guy said it's a rescue mission right? Wait... rescue? That means clobbering thugs and being a hero, doesn't it? Quick! What would Mr. Satan do? What would Mr. Satan do? Despite it all in his thoughts, Kenny was visibly sweating and flailing his arms worriedly. Oh yeah! He would go in there, clobber the bad guys and walk away before the police showed up. Hey, isn't that guy on the right a police officer? Oh, it's just one. Right, the rescue mission. Modesty is key! We all beat up the bad guys and I hightail it out, leaving the rescued party wondering who that 'handsome devil in the stylish white headband was!'

With a huff and a puff, the psyched youth leaped on to the desk, pulled the white bandanna out and tied it on. "Worry not Mister..." He paused to look down at the placard on the desk before striking a heroic pose, hands on his hips and staring towards the wall dramatically as if looking into the great blue yonder. "Worry not Mr. Fajita! We shall rescue Team... Tree Star and restore rightful peace! For I, Kenneth Long, Master Martial Artist, pledge this so! ...and also because my tv is busted. I need the money."

[Overcast]

The doctor was not happy.

When he had gotten the call he had imagined he was hired all by his lonesome, he imagined this because he was certain that all anyone needed was him! To find that he was surrounded by other contracted work and a policeman irked him to no end, he did not like working with others, especially policemen! They stole all the thunder that his amazing technology had done to save the day, ESPECIALLY POLICEMEN! The press would eventually have piked this down as a daring rescue done by a dedicated police officer AND HIS POSSE. He was in huff in his chair, suitcase as always by his side, and could barely restrain himself from exploding everyone in the room and letting that be a message to anyone that tried to shortchange him as just some mercenary passerby! He finally could not stand it any longer as the men started trying to steal his thunder with pointless theatrical heroic speeches, and badly delivered he might add! He pounded his suitcase onto the table with an almost shocking THUMP. His eyes burning behind his thick glasses,

"Mr. Fajita I am outraged! I had thought that is was going to be a private exhibition of my systems, and instead I come to find that you are pairing me with a bunch of no name kipushers and the five O! The police force! FOR SHAME! How am I supposed to use my arsenal to reduce everything inside of the building, except the girls of course, to a fine bloody paste when I got the law breathing down my brilliance. I won't let the man keep me down sir! And these people, how am I supposed to properly exhibit my work when you bring people like this HMM?!?! This will not stand! I either demand a significant increase in pay or a press report agreement that all recognition will go exclusively to me!"

It was quite a bit to ask for, but Q didn't really understand the meaning of the word subtle so it was beyond it to try to explain the audacity he was expressing. Nor how saying such things in front of an officer of the law might implicate him as some sort of supervillain. Point being that if anyone was unsure of the kind of man that the Incomparable Doctor Q was before he spoke up, they were feeling it now.

[POS Industries]

"Doctor, I assure you that your services are the most important of all," Fajita said in a cool, soothing voice, rising from his seat, "After all, it will be your unmatched intellect and brilliant inventions that will allow us to even find our clients! There is no way we can do this without your valuable help. And believe me, there is no one whose gratitude a man looking to get his name out there wants more than the biggest promoter in the business!"

The business, of course, being 90% based around stroking the egos of prima donnas.

He sauntered out from behind his desk, picking up a pencil from his desk and twiddling it about casually as he got back on topic, his voice becoming more serious as he clicked on a television on the wall to his left, showing the image of three women: a winking redhead with her lips puckered, a blonde with her arms crossed giving a sultry pout, and a smiling blue majin holding out her fingers in a V.

"Now, let's get down to the matter at hand. Our clients--Cherry Garcia, Valencia l'Orangerie, and Sala Sweets--disappeared from a rehearsal session yesterday for a major award show this weekend. We later received a phone call informing us that they had been kidnapped and were being held for a rather... substantial ransom. We stand to lose millions in revenue if we miss this appearance, but that's nothing compared to what the kidnappers want."

Half his lip curled up in a slight grin, "So, we've decided to outsource. How does fifty thousand zeni to each of you for their safe return and an open door to do business in the future sound?"

[IHateMakingNames]

Icie didn't like his... assorted comrades. Then again, Icie wasn't a fan of Earthlings in general. What with their fancy ki techniques and ki sensing skills. Lousy humans. He'd rule them all some day.

But not today. Today Icie joined this merry band of hired rescuers for two reasons; money and training. He needed a good chunk of cash at the moment, and his fighting skills were getting rusty. There wouldn't be any world conquest if Icie didn't get stronger, let alone if he got weaker.

While the meeting went on and people were conversing, the estranged alien stood in the back and waited. He knew who they were since his roommate was a big fan of the group. However, he didn't really care about them or their safety. The fifty thousand zeni piqued his interest, but in a negative way.

"Fifty thousand? That's insulting!" Icie smashed his tail against the wall to make sure attention was on him.

"You would lose millions in revenue, and more from the ransom, yet we're only worth fifty thousand a head to save your stars? Future business is worthless unless we all want to form a fruity boy band! I demand higher pay!"

[Astral Harmony]

"Then you can have nearly all of mine," Robyn said to Icie. "All I need to last another good week is about one-thousand, so you can have the rest if that's what this gentleman needs to afford your immense talents."

Robyn wasn't being sarcastic. She only needed that much to survive and she was certain Icie would be quite useful to have along for the ride since they didn't know who or what they were going up against.

Besides, fifty-thousand zeni was couch change compaired to what the Vanillox family made from its numerous businesses per week. Robyn mindlessly picked up the rather out-of-place pencil in the office room. Then, she set it against her bowstring. To her surprise, the pencil did not transform into an arrow when readied.

Not bothering to figure out why, Robyn set the pencil back down again and faced Doctor Q. "So, uhhh...Doctor? The gentleman says you know how to find these missing...whatever it is these people do. No time to start like the present, right?"

[Overcast]

The good doctor sat back in his chair as his ego was gently caressed by the well dressed man. He was typically was smarter than to let him be so easily passified, but the prospect of proper representation was too tempting. He listened on as Fajita explained the situation in full, and as the objectives popped on the screen he took a moment to memorize them so non accidentally got shot, but as his processes began to fire he found something odd. Such so that he raised his hand to the generous young woman who had offered her share to the space monster, "A moment." Said the doc as he straightened up his glasses staring at the trio, most notably the pinkish one, "This girl. Majin, resilient, flexible, narurally gifted ay ki and almost perfectly immune to many conventional weapons." He tapped his chin and raised his eyebrow at their employer, "Even the laziest breed of the majin should have been able to take care of some shiftless kidnappers. Or at least made a bigger mess on the way out. How exactly do you think they pulled this off?"

[Astral Harmony]

"Maybe it's blackmail," Robyn guessed. "Like, perhaps they have a really embarrassing photograph that they used to coerce them into getting kidnapped. Or maybe they know something too embarrassing for the media to know, like one of them is really a convincingly crossdressed effiminate guy. Or maybe one of them has a secret half-breed love child."

Grasping at straws was all well and good, but the fact remained that they just didn't have any information to make accurate speculations. "But, anyways, we should really get going. The weekend isn't too far off and I doubt the kidnappers are letting their captives rehearse for the event."

[Dracorion]

Solomon frowned as he leaned against the wall. Bad enough that this Fajita guy considered a professional like him to cost the same as the rest of these chumps. But if he was hiding something, that changed things.

"The doctor's got a point. I don't really care why you're lying, but the fact is you're already paying us crap. If you're going to keep something from us, that's an extra fifty."

Normally, Sol would shake him down for more, but he figured he could outperform the rest of these losers, impress the girls and, heh, get his money's worth from them.

[Inbred Chocobo]

Mack wanted to start punching people as they complained about money. They didn't really seem to care about the details as long as they got paid. He was lightened up a bit when one offered to go down to just 10 thousand zeny, but he was just going to have to deal with their attitudes. The only good thing was once the initial burst was over they started working out what happened. Mack decided to chip in as well.

"I doubt the girls worked alone either in rehearsal, normally their is some kind of crew for the sound and setting up stage. Do we have anyone there that saw anything?" Mack added in. He was hoping he could get lost in the investigation he wouldn't have to think too hard with who he was with.

[Intern Nin]

"You're not very good at listening are you, Eightman? Mr. Carnita just said they disappeared during the rehearsal, not a group of thugs stormed the stadium and made off with them at gunpoint. Nobody saw them get abducted, so you'd be wasting time interrogating stagehands."

A tall young man with a grey mohawk, squinty eyes, and a perpetual grin stepped out from behind Mr Fajita. This is quite a surprise seeing as how no one there saw this man come in, and believe me, they would have remembered seeing him. He was easily one of the strangest dressed individuals here; garbed in a chest plate with a large metal turtle shell attached to it, blue undershirt, purple mittens, black karate training shoes, a hood modeled after a popular video game character that covers the entire face when put up, two drill shaped bagh nakh holstered on his sides, and a speedo.

"Hi! I'm here about that employment opportunity, the one advertised in fine social establishments such as the Spacey's down in midtown. Sorry I'm late, but there are so many security cameras around here and I'm just not very photogenic. None in this room though, so that's good." said the odd fellow as he scratched his head sheepishly.

"Anyways, I'm perfectly fine with the amount you're offering, sir. Besides, doing the right thing is it's own reward. And sometimes you end up finding a few surprise rewards on the way to that reward." He lifted his from his scalp to reveal a large wad of bracelets and band watches clutched in his hand. "You all have great taste in wrist-wear, by the way. Especially you, Mr Falafelpita." He held up his other hand and dangled a solid gold luxary watch. With a giddy chuckle, tossed each article back to their respective owners and went back to scratching his head.

"Heheh, just a little joke to break the ice. Now we can all laugh and be friends, hmm?" He clasped his hand together and looked around the room, as if expecting everyone to start smiling back at him. Things did not go as expected.

"Gee, I guess big city folk don't seem to have much of a sense of humor. Heheheheh...heh. Hmm, I might be wrong but if that girl has as big a chi as the old-timer says she has, it probably wouldn't too hard to sense her, would it?"

[Toastburner B]

Guy sat off to one side of the group, his arms folded, a serious look on his face.

He had been quiet this entire time...not because he didn't have anything to say, but because he was afraid that if he said something before he had time to think about it, he would be shoehorned in as the cheap comedy relief of the group. That was really the last thing he wanted to be.

He also grew steady more depressed the longer he sat in the group. At first, he was thrilled to be part of such an undertaking, and proud that out of all the fighters in the world that could have been chosen to part of the team, he had been picked. At least, he was thrilled until he started to work through the names of other tournament fighters and knew, and quickly realized that everyone with a higher rank than him was otherwise indisposed at the moment.

So, Guy sat quietly, trying to convince himself that "best fighter that wasn't doing something else at the moment" was still an alright title.

[Arhra]

Guava was on a stakeout.

Her stomach growled. She could really do with a steak, come to think of it. But the requirements of stakeouts were harsh and unmerciful and the requirements of her stomach marginally less so. It was being overruled for now.

Guava was stalking a pair of goons. Both wore poorly tailored cheap suits. One was tall and thin, the other squat and fat. They looked like the number 10 when they stood together.

They were buying hotdogs, damn their eyes.

It had been a lucky break. She'd happened to overhear their conversation about something they'd helped steal that was going to make them rich. It had been a simple deduction.

What had three stars and was valuable to some sort of organised crime syndicate?

One of the fabled dragon balls!

There'd also been stuff she hadn't got, something about fajitas and rehearsals and some girl named Cherry. It was probably irrelevent though.

So for this reason she was perched on a rooftop, watching some goons amble along waiting for them to go back to whatever hole they'd crawled out of.

Get back there soon, damnit!

[POS Industries]

Mr. Fajita jumped in surprise at the strangely-dressed gentleman that had suddenly appeared behind him, his body tensing every muscle to the point that it nearly broke the pencil he was holding in two. Letting out a deep breath, he smoothed his hair and adjusted his sunglasses, content for the moment that the archer woman was making arrangements with the alien to placate his demand for higher pay while he continued briefing the help.

"Yes, well, you see," he grinned a bit sheepishly, "Miss Sweets--well, 'Sweets' is just a stage name, actually--has been asked by the company to try her best to keep the use of her... abilities... to a minimum of roughly never. As impressive as they may be, it turns out that our focus group testing shows that audiences typically find the risk of being vaporized, eaten, or otherwise brutally beaten by an artist in the event that they don't clap loudly enough to be ultimately unappealing. Image is everything in this business, after all!"

He tapped the pencil on the desk a couple times before setting it back down, "For what it's worth, it's for this very reason that we're pretty sure the girls are still safe. Sala's a good girl but, while she's certainly brighter than the average majin, she's probably taking our request regarding her powers a bit more literally than she has to. But if she or the others were in any immediate danger, I'm sure she'd act, and since there haven't been any reports of explosions anywhere in the city since their disappearance, I'd say the odds are good that nothing has gone wrong. Yet."

[Inbred Chocobo]

"Its possible someone could have heard a noise, or saw the shadow of the figure appear. Maybe someone saw a vehicle they were unfamiliar with, and could give us a description. Perhaps someone saw someone they normally know that acted a bit off than normal, or perhaps someone has a point in time in their memory where they couldn't remember anything. Trust me, what little information to gain from asking around, even if it is completely and utterly that everything was normal and nothing was strange is worth asking for." Mack replied to the comment discrediting him asking about witnesses. If anything else, understanding how the disappearance occurred would give a sense of what whoever they are after is capable of.

"A few other questions for you Mr Fajita. How were you contacted by the kidnappers? I imagine they just didn't give you a call on your phone did they? You said they demanded something that you couldn't give up either, just what are they demanding?" Mack had actually pulled out a small notepad with a pen and had starting taking notes about what was said so far. If he was going to do this investigation, by god he was going to do it right.

[Arcanum]

Jake had been content to say nothing so far. Most of the briefing was just pointless bickering, though he had to admire the police officer's determination to keep things on track as the others demanded more money for their "invaluable" services. Jake was perfectly content with the amount. It was enough for him to live comfortably for the next several months while he continued his training. He might even start traveling again and look for a new master to train under, though he would decide on that when the time came. For now he needed to help keep this job on track.

"Also how long did it take for them to contact you after the girls went missing? If we figure out what they used for transportation we can narrow down our search. Unless the good doctor here has some exceptionally good ki sensing equipment, I doubt any of us will be able to pin-point the location of a majin who was told to keep up the appearance of a non-fighter."

[Overcast]

"Ki sensing equipment has gone to hell since the release of the Gohan papers, the migration of the Namekians, and the origin of breeding in the Majin race. There are just too many reasonably large ki forces, hell aside from natual sensing it is nearly impossible to gauge power levels due to the sensory overload it gets from modern society."

He opened up his suitcase and pulled out a small vacuum like piece of equipment that began sucking at his face as soon as he pulled it out. He beat it a few times with his hand,

"Bad sniffer! Bad!"

It unsucked his face and drooped a bit, Doc Q held it up with a smile and laid it on the table,

"This is my Sniffer, a tracking device for the modern era. It works much like an old bloodhound only it includes some more suitable user interfaces for us to work with in order to keep track of what it is we are smelling. Get us to the scene of the crime and get me some nice articles of clothing from the girls, or hell even the ransom note and it should be able to take us on the trail like a champ."

He nodded in pride as the thing started sucking on his face again,

"NO BAD!"

[Red Mage Black]

For the most point, Kenneth had been a little downtrodden. Not only did their employer fail to notice the youthful vigor Kenny had, but that Mr.... look down... Fajita had preferred to play with that strange... number 2 or 3?... pencil that he had found on his desk. Who used pencils nowadays anyway? Jumping off the desk, he grabbed the name placard for posterity and looked around. Especially to the scientist.

"Hey, I think I can pull that one off, too!" Kenny said excitedly, not contributing anything to the investigation thus far. He just puffed his cheeks and did his best imitation of a vacuum cleaner near the face of Doc Q. This horrible attempt only landed him a moment of turning white before he stopped to take actual breaths.

"So yeah, Tree Star goes missing, no one knows where they are, no one saw what happened to them and what now? Sorry, I haven't really been paying attention. I blame it on the lack of TV. Oh yeah, did I mention that my personal hero, Mr. Satan, helped make the majin race possible in the first place?"

[POS Industries]

Mr. Fajita looked down at Dr. Q's strange sniffing device with apprehension, distracted just enough by the thing to not notice Kenneth's swiping of his personal belongings. "It was about an hour since we'd lost track of them at the venue before we got the call. They contacted us by phone, but their instructions were quick and simple: We were to leave... ten million zeni in the lobby of Tongari Tower by midnight and the girls would be returned to us. I didn't have time to respond before they hung up."

He moved toward the door, opening it for them in a manner that less-than-subtly communicated that it was time for them to get a move on. "Doctor, if you believe that machine of yours will be able to track our clients down, there should still be some of their belongings in their dressing room at the West City Music Hall. Our company would be happy to field transportation for all of you if you'd like, though if any of you have a faster means of getting there, you're more than welcome to use it instead."

[Astral Harmony]

"Awesome, we're finally getting somewhere!" Robyn said, feeling full of pep again. "Let's get going, this office is getting pretty stuffy with all the people in it. We can even introduce ourselves to each other while we go."

Robyn felt it was her responsibility to introduce herself first, since she came up with the idea. "I'm Robyn Vanillox. Perhaps you've heard of the Vanillox Family. My parents own and run a zaibatsu, or japanese financial and business conglomerate. I'm on a pilgrimage of adulthood, I guess you can say, to become a powerful and strong-willed woman who can carry the Vanillox on into a promising future. And this is my special bow. I can pick up just about anything, set it up against this bowstring, and turn it into an arrow. That's pretty much my best power."

[Overcast]

The Doc grabbed at the Sniffer growling at it and pulling it away with a pop and stuffing it back in his suitcase, and pulling out an umbrella. Taking care not to open it indoors,

"I am the Incomparable Doctor Q. I am an inventor, genius, and avid weapons dealer of the modern age like my father before me. With the influx of the majin, the namekian, the ki user the progress of weapon development, and at its side all technological development has begun to slow. I have made it my mission to reveal that suitably advanced technology can match all of these beings! Particularly my technology."

He kicked open a window and laid the umbrella at a particular angle with care,

"I have developed a great deal of offensive and defensive countermeasures as well as some conventional advances such as this dear item, the Parrot Umbrella. It is a multi-purpose machine, it is a parachute, a personal flying machine, and obviously an umbrella that never turns inside out!"

He nodded with another big prideful grin like he had when he had first showed off his Sniffer, the faint outline of red still sitting on his face,

"I try to be prepared for anything, so don't hesitate to stay out of my way."

[phil_]

Von Battenburg quietly hoisted his coffin onto his back, ready to get on with the task at hand. He was a patient man-eating abomination, but this meeting had dragged on, even for him. It pained his pride to remain silent while such... eccentricities were displayed, but, for now, he had to maintain a low-profile. The plan depended on it.

Both the red-haired woman and the doctor were introducing themselves like courtiers, reminding von Battenburg of simpler times, before pointy-haired youths went about writing wrongs willy-nilly. Back then, slaying was so much more personal. His sword felt a similar pang for the battlefields where it grew up; men had enough manners to know who it was they slew, at least when it was someone important. The vampire and sword shared a moment of nostalgia as only truly ancient beings could. It was part of how they got along so well.

By now, The Incomprehensible Doctor Q had flung open a window and stood, half-in half-out, waving an umbrella about. Perhaps he meant to jump out? Whatever he planned, von Battenburg hoped he would be quick about it. Time was of the essence if his plan was to work. He patted his breast pocket and smiled to himself.

He would have Valencia l'Orangerie's signature in his autograph book by dawn!

[Ookalf]

Risotto stood outside Mr. Fajita's office with her ear against the wall, occasionally stopping to push her mop around in order to uphold the appearance she actually worked there, instead of just being someone who snuck in so she could eavesdrop on what seemed to be a most interesting meeting. Sure, she couldn't quite hear everything while she was doing this, what she did manage to catch had certainly piqued her interest.

Kidnapped pop stars, ransom demands, a band of unlikely heroes... Risotto had had a feeling that something big was going to go down when she saw Officer McKinley actually leaving the office on an assignment, and she was right! Sure, was probably going to get in trouble when her boss realized she'd snuck out during her shift, she didn't care right now! This was finally her chance to make a real difference! She just had to follow those other guys when they left, and then... OK, Risotto didn't really have an "and then," but she was sure she'd figure it out as things went along.

[Krylo]

"Cendo," the small green child who had, until then been entirely quiet, stated simply in response to Robyn before once more closing its mouth and walking toward the exit and the waiting car with no more care as to the blatherings of his companions.

He didn't really care what any of them had to say, it was straight to business for him.

...It was merely unfortunate he didn't know the way to the music hall and would have to ride rather than fly.

[Inbred Chocobo]

"Mack, now if you don't mind me, I'm going to hurry along and check out whats going on." Mack said, and strode towards the window, carefully going around the doctor with his umbrella and stepping out of the window. Of course, instead of falling, he engaged a small device embedded in him known as the Hikou, which allowed Mack to just simply float out of the window.

He turned once he was out. "Look guys, introductions are nice, but we are dealing with a kidnapping so we are in a bit of a hurry. I suggest if you are going to continue you do so on your way to our destination." Mack finished, taking off towards the music hall, not at any blazing speed, but he was definitely beating traffic.

[CABAL49]

"ALRIGHT!" shouted Mori, jumping to his feet. He ran out of the office and was outside in less than a minute. He then realized he had no idea where he was going.

He saw 'Mack' up in the sky and decided to follow him. He could at least look like he got there first.