I'm still kind of confused how something like Kazaam gets made into a movie...

[Magus]

http://img6.imageshack.us/img6/7755/kazaam.jpg
Yes, they made this into a movie

I mean, think about it, it's a live-action movie where the main gimmick is that Shaquille O'Neal plays a rapping Black genie who lives inside of a magic boombox.
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_D70cPxYHb0)
Let's be serious. This would have been an awesome Saturday morning cartoon concept. Saturday morning cartoons lend themselves to such "random" concepts as motorcycle-riding anthropomorphic mice from Mars (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Biker_Mice_from_Mars), jet-flying anthropomorphic cats (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Swat_Kats), ninjitsu-trained anthropomorphic turtles (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Teenage_Mutant_Ninja_Turtles_%281987_TV_series%29) , anthropomorphic sharks who glide through pavement like its water (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Street_sharks), and anthropomorphic private-investigating dogs and rabbits who solve oddball crimes (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Adventures_of_Sam_%26_Max:_Freelance_Police) (that's a lot of anthropomorphism).

http://img337.imageshack.us/img337/1010/bikermicefrommars.jpg
This was better than Kazaam*

You also have such concepts as the blue-skinned, green-haired physical embodiment of Planet Earth being summoned by teenager (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Captain_planet)s, or a hapless janitor mutated by toxic sludge who fights polluters with a mop (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toxic_Crusaders). This is the environment where a freestyling rapper genie would fit right in, to the enjoyment of nine year old kids everywhere. But instead they attempt to make it feature-length?!

http://img823.imageshack.us/img823/6657/toxright.jpg
This was better than Kazaam

Hubris, thy name is Kazaam. Like Icarus attempting to touch the sun, you flew too high in your aspirations and plummeted to a watery demise. As a half-hour cartoon, you would have thrived. THRIVED, I say.

But instead you exist only to form the negative comparison in the following sentence, "The DC-universe movie where Shaquille O'Neal wore armor and fought crime with a laser-hammer wasn't great (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kmYwc_QVJKk&feature=related), but at least it's better than Kazaam."

http://img341.imageshack.us/img341/7177/steel6.jpg
This was better than Kazaam

Thoughts?**

*But really the inclusion of gay leather-fetish mutant mice into anything maximizes its awesomeness

**Incoherent ramblings, which are the usual result of the realization that someone put Shaquille O'Neal into a ton of movies BUT DID NOT give him at least a supporting role in the one where Michael Jordan plays basketball with Looney Tunes characters (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xFwXDN3sI8g), are also welcome

[Seil]

Fuck you Kazaam was awesome.

[Seil]

I mean Shaqile O'Niel was a genie! What more do you want?!

_D70cPxYHb0

[Jagos]

You forget the Samurai Pizza Cats? WTF?!

[Professor Smarmiarty]

Let's green egg and ham it.

[Geminex]

I read the book. It didn't live up to the source material.

[Bells]

....now i'm kinda curious about your thoughts on Space Jam....

[Magus]

....now i'm kinda curious about your thoughts on Space Jam....

It was half-cartoon so this is an example of "DOING IT RIGHT"

EDIT:

@Seil: It's probably just that the disillusionment with the final product versus the concept is so overpowering. Like the kind of idea that is a rapping genie who lives in a boombox is the kind that only comes around once a millennium, and it's such an AMAZING concept that you wonder how they could not deliver the most amazing film you've ever seen.

Whereas the concept "Michael Jordan plays basketball with Bugs Bunny", well I can say they pretty much delivered on that concept with Space Jam. It's difficult to determine how more justice could have been done to that concept, other than that Who Framed Roger Rabbit? is a better film using the "live-action/animated mash-up" form. But I can't envision a superior Space Jam like I can a superior Kazaam.

ANOTHER EDIT: Like just imagine that Kazaam, instead of being a Shaquille O'Neal live-action movie, had been a half-hour cartoon featuring the voice of Phil Lamarr, and where pretty much every episode culminates in the hero, having solved a mystery and determined that indeed Old Man Brinkley is, indeed, the culprit, summoning Kazaam to intone "I AM...KAZAAM!" and lay the smackdown on the villains.

Would that not be the best thing EVER? It would basically be Thundercats or He-Man but with a rapping boombox genie being the "magic sword" that allows the hero to ruin the villains' shit.

[Professor Smarmiarty]

Replace Shaq with woody allen. Problem solved.

[stefan]

....now i'm kinda curious about your thoughts on Space Jam....

my only real concern about space jam is the fact that remixing the space jam theme into any song automatically makes it better.

[Jagos]

my only real concern about space jam is the fact that remixing the space jam theme into any song automatically makes it better.

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[Archbio]

Instead of watching Space Jam, why not play another game of Looney Tunes B-Ball?

Or have a jam sandwich.

[Magus]

Instead of watching Space Jam, why not play another game of Looney Tunes B-Ball?

Or have a jam sandwich.

Man, astronauts have space jam all the time!

[Karrrrrrrrrrrresche]

Inferior non Madoka models

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[phil_]

Madoka can go sit and spin! Everyone knows Charlotte is the best Space Jam!

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[stefan]

ladies, calm yourselves.

Abobhus6ia0

[Kyanbu The Legend]

You know going down the 90's memory lane has made me realize.

Anything with furries is almost garanteed to be 2x more awesome. That and the 90's single handily gave birth to the furry fandom. But we all already knew that.

[POS Industries]

Anything with furries is almost garanteed to be 2x more awesome. That and the 90's single handily gave birth to the furry fandom.
http://i119.photobucket.com/albums/o159/posindustries/facepalm/1319446242167.jpg

[phil_]

ladies, calm yourselves.

[youtube]I keep swapping between a grin and a grimace as I listen to this and I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

[Fifthfiend]

or a hapless janitor mutated by toxic sludge who fights polluters with a mop.

He's a movie too (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=27E4Qfj7iEY).

[Premmy]

Edit: We should all watch that movie together.

[Betty Elms]

Space Jam was the very first movie that I thought was terrible, despite being the intended audience. I was like "man, cartoon characters playing basketball with bright colors and noises and shit? I'm in for a grand old time." But I wasn't.

And that is how I grew from girl to woman in the span of 88 minutes. Thank you, Space Jam.

[BitVyper]

And that is how I grew from girl to woman in the span of 88 minutes.

I always thought David Bowie caused that in Labyrinth.

Edit: Wait, that's right; you were born in the 90s, weren't you.

Man, LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT HOW MUCH BETTER THINGS WERE IN THE FAR FLUNG PAST OF NINETEEN EIGHTY SIX.

[Magus]

He's a movie too (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=27E4Qfj7iEY).

I know, right? The '90s was the heyday of taking violent adult films and somehow turning them into children's cartoons (they even did that with the '98 Godzilla reboot, made a far superior kid's cartoon out of the concept). Years later I watched The Toxic Avenger and I was like "Man, if Toxie had killed murderous teenage thrill killers with his mop, that would have made that cartoon a million times more awesome."

Also the crunch made when that old lady's head goes under the tire...best thing ever (I think it was an old lady, but anywho, definite head under tire hilarity in The Toxic Avenger).

[Premmy]

It was a little kid.

[Magus]

It was a little kid.

Oh, man, even better.

I long for a simpler time when network executives saw a movie with that in it and they were like, "HEY BRAH BET YOU A GRAND I CAN PARLAY THIS CONCEPT INTO A POPULAR CHILDREN'S TELEVISION SHOW THAT THEIR PARENTS WILL SAY NARY A WORD ABOUT" and the other dude was like "YOU'RE ON!" and then history was made.

[Jagos]

Oh, man, even better.

I long for a simpler time when network executives saw a movie with that in it and they were like, "HEY BRAH BET YOU A GRAND I CAN PARLAY THIS CONCEPT INTO A POPULAR CHILDREN'S TELEVISION SHOW THAT THEIR PARENTS WILL SAY NARY A WORD ABOUT" and the other dude was like "YOU'RE ON!" and then hilarity was ensued

:)

To be fair, this was the same time as TMNT which itself was pretty damn ridiculous. Whatever happened to our mascot ridden Saturday morning cartoon shows with aimless background stories, whimsical characters, and nonsensical plots?

[phil_]

Whatever happened to our mascot riddenhttp://www.usagi.org/doi/images/precure/heartcatch/char/fairies1.jpg
And there are two more, not counting the dead one.Saturday morning cartoon showsSunday morning, but still... with aimless background stories, http://blogimg.goo.ne.jp/user_image/0a/ab/b89afc54c7841fc9151aa6c7356661d1.jpg
There's this thing called the Heart Tree floating around in the sky and it keeps the people of Earth happy or something and for generations little girls in pretty dresses have protected it from aliens with karate and laser beams.whimsical characters,http://img214.imageshack.us/img214/7634/cobrajaglasses.jpg
This is Cobraja. He's supposed to be turning the world into a desert. Instead, he gets his lackeys together and takes pictures of himself. and nonsensical plots?An alien named Dune turns planets into deserts and it's Earth's turn. Or, it was, like, sixty years ago. Anyway, he's gonna destroy the Earth to feel better about himself or something. Heart Tree calls bullshit and whips up some Powerpuff Girls Precures to beat the tar out of him and his underlings. Only one of these girls is what one would characterize as anything but a weirdo, and she looks like a boy, so there's that. Also, if you don't do your summer homework, Cobraja is going to come to your house and get you.

http://img1.liveinternet.ru/images/attach/c/2//68/25/68025983_1.jpg
Watch Heartcatch Precure.

[Magus]

What does he do to the guys who are more fabulous than him? I shudder at the thought...

[phil_]

What does he do to the guys who are more fabulous than him? I shudder at the thought...He mostly just tears out their soul, stuffs the body in a tiny crystal ball, then turns their resentment into a twenty-foot-tall monster. It's all very PG, really. Monster's sorta cute, even.

[Jagos]

... I can't tell if that guy qualifies as a Yandere or not...

[Archbio]

The '90s was the heyday of taking violent adult films and somehow turning them into children's cartoons

I really like the running gag in the Beetlejuice cartoon where once an episode Lydia tries to commit suicide.

The hilarity.

[Professor Smarmiarty]

Oh no the toons are down one player! Now the nasties will win.
Oh wait no, Bill Murray. Up your ass nasties!

[phil_]

... I can't tell if that guy qualifies as a Yandere or not...I was about to be all "Is he in love with someone? No? Then he's not a yandere," but then I was like, "wait, he's in love with himself," and now I don't even know.I really like the running gag in the Beetlejuice cartoon where once an episode Lydia tries to commit suicide.

The hilarity.I knew there was a reason I loved that show as a kid.