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View Full Version : [truth] Every Jason Statham movie is a movie that should have also starred Liam Neeso

Magus
12-21-2011, 12:38 PM
Literally every fucking one of them, so they could fight and/or team-up. Or both.

Like a scene where Liam Neeson drives a car into a dude and then Jason Statham leaps out of the skylight and dropkicks him into Liam Neeson's waiting fist 'cause Liam Neeson already jumped out of the car like a puma and was totally waiting for Statham to dropkick the dude into his fist because they are psychically linked.

Then they torture a dude for no reason after they already get the information they want because Neeson's daughter and Statham's son were both kidnapped by the bad guys and sold into sex slavery or human organ donation camps or whatever.

Also, throwing knives.

Everyone agrees with me, all that's left is for you to do so also (http://www.madatoms.com/site/blog/liam-neeson-out-stathamed-jason-statham):

I recently saw the movie, Taken, with Liam Neeson. If you're not familar, here's the plot: a badass Liam Neeson kicks bad guys' asses after they try to sell his daughter as a piece of ass. Needless to say, it's the best movie I've seen in a while.

While I watched Neeson's character bring down a gang of Albanian Human Traffickers with a platter of knuckle sandwiches, I realized something: this was essentially a Jason Statham movie, but starring an Oscar-caliber actor.

EDIT:

HOLY CRAP LIAM NEESON VERSUS A PACK OF WOLVES (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1601913/)

http://img580.imageshack.us/img580/9030/mv5bndy4mtqwmzc1mv5bml5.jpg

In Alaska, an oil drilling team struggle to survive after a plane crash strands them in the wild. Hunting the humans are a pack of wolves who see them as intruders.

I feel so goddamn sorry for those wolves. They have no idea who they are trying to eat.

This movie will be so badass conservationists will faint just from watching the trailer.
Carade
12-21-2011, 08:56 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WfhgFFfXF_c

Holy shit. They made that into a film?
CABAL49
12-22-2011, 07:09 AM
Even...even down to the bottles strapped to his hands.
Ecks
12-22-2011, 04:01 PM
Oh my God. Everything about this thread. Just subtract Jason Statham from the equation and land sakes alive, we are cooking with petrol now!
TDK
12-22-2011, 11:33 PM
Teaming up Liam Neeson and Jason Statham sounds like a recipe for EVERY SINGLE bad guy being punched in the fucking throat.

Like seriously both of these guys are just all about the throat punch.



On a related note, does anyone remember there was some Neeson movie that came out a while ago, seeing the trailer it looked just like Taken, so I was watching it thinking "Is this a sequel? Taken 2: Taken AGAIN!"
The Sevenshot Kid
12-22-2011, 11:38 PM
Teaming up Liam Neeson and Jason Statham sounds like a recipe for EVERY SINGLE bad guy being punched in the fucking throat.

Like seriously both of these guys are just all about the throat punch.



On a related note, does anyone remember there was some Neeson movie that came out a while ago, seeing the trailer it looked just like Taken, so I was watching it thinking "Is this a sequel? Taken 2: Taken AGAIN!"

Unknown.
Magus
12-22-2011, 11:45 PM
They actually are going to make a Taken 2 now, though, as well, since Taken and Unknown have established that people are more than willing to watch Liam Neeson murder the shit out of people for 2 hours.

I came a little just now.
TDK
12-23-2011, 12:16 AM
If they don't call it Taken 2: Taken Again and it doesn't just continue the adventures of the world's unluckiest teenage girl who gets kidnapped AGAIN and her dad has to throat-punch his way across Europe AGAIN, I will be sorely disappointed.


Seriously, idgaf what anyone says, "Taken 2: Taken AGAIN" is the best name for this movie ever.
Magus
12-23-2011, 12:43 AM
What if his ex-wife gets kidnapped this time?

Taken 2: Taken Too.
TDK
12-23-2011, 12:46 AM
Also acceptable.
The Sevenshot Kid
12-23-2011, 01:04 AM
Here's what it says on IMDB:

In Istanbul, retired CIA operative Bryan Mills and his wife are taken hostage by the father of a kidnapper Mills killed while rescuing his daughter.
Magus
12-23-2011, 01:11 AM
"Trust me. Your son had it coming."

Kills bad guy's other son for no reason.

"That's what you get for questioning my decisions. Also this."

THROWING KNIFE
MFD
12-28-2011, 12:00 PM
He did warn him though.

It was in the trailer!

Liam Neeson: the single best thing about the prequel trilogy.
Magus
12-28-2011, 11:37 PM
He did warn him though.

It was in the trailer!

Liam Neeson: the single best thing about the prequel trilogy.

Liam Neeson was so awesome he almost made me accept the concept of midichlorians.

But much like an omnipotent God who cannot create a boulder too heavy for Him to lift, so too could Liam Neeson not invest even midichlorians with a vestige of truth.

EDIT:

He did warn him though.

It was in the trailer!

Remember that part in Unknown where the guy is like "You don't remember anything, do you?" and Liam Neeson is all like

"I remember enough to kill you, asshole!"

Guy should have killed himself at that point. It would have been less painful.