What in life, does not deserve celebrating? Answer: Watchmen prequels.

[Token]

God. Fucking. Dammit. (http://www.usatoday.com/life/comics/story/2012-02-01/Watchmen-prequel-comic-book-series/52908084/1)

Under its DC Comics banner, DC Entertainment is reviving characters from the beloved and seminal graphic novel Watchmen for seven prequels collectively titled Before Watchmen.
The comics will feature all of the heroes — and anti-heroes — who writer Alan Moore and artist Dave Gibbons created in the 1986-87 Watchmen series, which was later collected as a graphic novel. Those characters will star in miniseries by some of the company's top writers and artists, including:
•Rorschach by writer Brian Azzarello and artist Lee Bermejo
•Comedian by Azzarello and artist J.G. Jones
•Minutemen by writer/artist Darwyn Cooke
•Silk Spectre by Cooke and artist Amanda Conner
•Nite Owl by writer J. Michael Straczynski and artists Joe and Andy Kubert
•Dr. Manhattan by Straczynski and artist Adam Hughes
•Ozymandias by writer and original Watchmen editor Len Wein with art by Jae Lee
Issues will be released so that there will be a new one every week, and each will include two pages of a separate, continuing backup story, Curse of the Crimson Corsair, by Wein, with art by Watchmen colorist John Higgins. A single-issue Before Watchmen: Epilogue will also be a part of the prequel series, featuring several of the writers and artists involved.

The only hope I can cling to is that Azzarello's Wonder Woman is outstanding.
...So really, no hope at all.

[Mr.Bookworm]

On the one hand, yeah, I don't particularly think Watchmen is a franchise that needs reviving.

On the other hand, every single one of those writers has written something I've enjoyed, so they're not exactly handing it over to Rob Liefeld or anything.

I dunno. I will remain cautiously optimistic about this.

[MuMu]

I wish I could hate this harder, but Darwyn Cooke.

[Fifthfiend]

hahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaah ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah ahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahah ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah ahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahah ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah ahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaah ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah ahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahah ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah ahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahah ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah ahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaah ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah ahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahah ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah ahaha (http://www.comicbookresources.com/?page=article&id=36724)

[Flarecobra]

http://www.nuklearforums.com/showthread.php?t=41331

[Fifthfiend]

this thread----->http://www.miscupload.com/upload/14461345140071256688396.gif<------that thread

[Fenris]

Threads merged.

[Fifthfiend]

Oh man you guys I can't tell you how upset I am by Curly's decision to poke himself in the eyes AND THEN bop himself on the head

[Fifthfiend]

What's that? You expected me to stretch my arm out, hand facing upwards, then bend my elbow, simultaneously lowering my head to bring my forehead into contact with my upraised palm?

You fool.

I already did it thirty-five minutes ago

[Professor Smarmiarty]

I hope we find out about the jokers childhood abuse.

[Archbio]

Making a prequel to Watchmen is like making a prequel to Dune.

[POS Industries]

Making a prequel to Watchmen is like making a prequel to Dune.
It is exactly like that, yes. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prelude_to_Dune)

[The Sevenshot Kid]

I like Watchmen but seriously, who gives a fuck?

Alan Moore made the series based on Charlton characters and DC owns both sets of characters. Moore has written other people's creations and, holy shit, pilfers dead authors' works in League of Extraordinary Gentlemen and Lost Girls, the latter of which features Wendy from Peter Pan getting gang-banged.

Fuck Alan Moore, let DC beat this dead horse for all the money they can since they're putting great talent on it anyway.

[Fifthfiend]

I like Watchmen but seriously, who gives a fuck?

Alan Moore made the series based on Charlton characters and DC owns both sets of characters. Moore has written other people's creations and, holy shit, pilfers dead authors' works in League of Extraordinary Gentlemen and Lost Girls, the latter of which features Wendy from Peter Pan getting gang-banged.

Fuck Alan Moore, let DC beat this dead horse for all the money they can since they're putting great talent on it anyway.

Hahahaha oh man yes of all the best things about this I am pretty sure the best best thing is going to be watching a white-hot talentbomb like Brian "Slightly Less Poor Man's Frank Miller" Azzarello brilliantly reinterpret the Comedian and Rorschach as the characters Moore deconstructed to create the Comedian and Rorschach and J Michael "Doom's Single Tear for 9/11" Straczynski telling the story of how Doc Manhattan left Mars so he could personally inform everyone in America how their problems could be solved with conservative platitudes and hating immigrants just a little bit more.

[Archbio]

I'm not even referring to the shittiness of the Dune prequels.

It's just... both Dune and Watchmen are so much about History, a prequel is like treating the layered references to the past already found in the original works like a children colouring book with the new writers basically just colouring in between the lines.

The writers for this prequel might be Da Vincis compared to Brian Herbert... but give Da Vinci a colouring book and the result will still be the same.

[Odjn]

Alan Moore has shat out a death child to murder everyone at DC, news at ten.

[Amake]

The greatest act of practical magic we've seen in the modern world is Alan Moore not throwing any fireballs whatsoever at the legions of nincompoops who mess up his works. Seriously. Listen to him in interviews, it's pretty clear he honestly doesn't care about the League movie. Or the From Hell movie. Or the Watchmen movie.

Which I figure is pretty cool of him.

These announced writers, yeah, from what I know of them they've all pretty much done as much as they're going to creatively. Even if we didn't already know the stories they're going to do, I fear there would be few surprises. I think it's time everyone got over Watchmen. Accept that it is written, it's already there, it's done, there's nothing meaningful to add to it or spin from it.

[Satan's Onion]

... the From Hell movie...

...That exists?

...

:ohdear:

[Amake]

Obviously, most of us can only avoid exploding from rage by vigorously pretending these things don't exist, unlike Alan Moore. But yeah, it's got the psychic Lees and inspector Abberline both being played by Johnny Depp. Because they're now the same character.

I don't know any more than that.

[Satan's Onion]

... the psychic Lees and inspector Abberline both being played by Johnny Depp. Because they're now the same character.

I reiterate:

:ohdear:

and would like to further add

:wtf: , :ohdear: :ohdear: :ohdear: ; :crying: , :argh:

[The Sevenshot Kid]

Hahahaha oh man yes of all the best things about this I am pretty sure the best best thing is going to be watching a white-hot talentbomb like Brian "Slightly Less Poor Man's Frank Miller" Azzarello brilliantly reinterpret the Comedian and Rorschach as the characters Moore deconstructed to create the Comedian and Rorschach and J Michael "Doom's Single Tear for 9/11" Straczynski telling the story of how Doc Manhattan left Mars so he could personally inform everyone in America how their problems could be solved with conservative platitudes and hating immigrants just a little bit more.

Darwyn fuckin' Cooke. His involvement alone is good news. Azzarello wrote 100 Bullets which is a damn good series if you bother to read it. And seriously, Straczynski has had some bad ideas before but so does every writer but he knows when to write-off the shitty ones once it becomes apparent how awful it is (Norman Osborn's o-face). Also, how can you not be excited about the Kuberts drawing a book together?

[Aldurin]

Watchmen? Wasn't that like a movie, something about semi-heroes and a supersmurf?

[Japan]

Would rather watch a Hellblazer reboot with Daniel Craig starring. Just saying.

[Bard The 5th LW]

Watchmen? Wasn't that like a movie, something about semi-heroes and a supersmurf?

Aldurin you best stay out of this less you want to get hurt.

[Betty Elms]

I like Watchmen but seriously, who gives a fuck?
For me at least, this isn't an issue of "oh no, they're rubbing their scrot' all over THE HOLY TEXT." It's more just a little sad-funny how DC, after 25 years of resisting the urge, finally broke down, wrapped the belt around their arm good and tight, and made Watchmen into a traditional comic book franchise.

Like, they just can't hold back. They need to do this. They're like "shit man, look at this story being all self contained, with a narrative and themes and character arcs that all wrap up in a satisfying manner. I can't fuckin' look at it, it's too tempting. I'm stronger than this, I know I am." But they aren't and next thing you know a teary eyed J. Michael Straczynski is writing Dr. Manhattan fanfiction, Brian Azzarello is being anally penetrated in a room full of cheering spectators, hoping that one of them will give him the rights to "Maus 3," and the ever present Clint Mansell score blasts in the background.

[Magus]

The futility of existence, the fulfillment of the idea that there is no hope of a better tomorrow in this most perfect of worlds, and no art that shall not be desecrated.

Look on these works, ye Mighty, and despair! (http://www.superherohype.com/news/articles/169445-dc-entertainment-officially-announces-before-watchmen)

This summer, DC Entertainment will publish all-new stories expanding on the acclaimed "Watchmen" universe. As highly anticipated as they are controversial, the seven inter-connected prequel mini-series will build on the foundation of the original "Watchmen," the bestselling graphic novel of all time. Before Watchmen will be the collective banner for all seven titles, from DC Comics.

"It's our responsibility as publishers to find new ways to keep all of our characters relevant," said DC Entertainment Co-Publishers Dan DiDio and Jim Lee. "After twenty five years, the Watchmen are classic characters whose time has come for new stories to be told. We sought out the best writers and artists in the industry to build on the complex mythology of the original."

Stepping up to the challenge is a group of the comic book industry's most iconoclastic writers and artists – including Brian Azzarello ("100 Bullets"), Lee Bermejo ("Joker"), Amanda Conner ("Power Girl"), Darwyn Cooke ("Justice League: New Frontier"), John Higgins ("Watchmen"), Adam Hughes ("Catwoman"), J.G. Jones ("Final Crisis"), Andy Kubert ("Flashpoint"), Joe Kubert ("Sgt. Rock"), Jae Lee ("Batman: Jekyll and Hyde"), J. Michael Straczynski ("Superman: Earth One") and Len Wein ("Swamp Thing").

Before Watchmen includes:

RORSCHACH (4 issues) – Writer: Brian Azzarello. Artist: Lee Bermejo
MINUTEMEN (6 issues) – Writer/Artist: Darwyn Cooke
COMEDIAN (6 issues) – Writer: Brian Azzarello. Artist: J.G. Jones
DR. MANHATTAN (4 issues) – Writer: J. Michael Straczynski. Artist: Adam Hughes
NITE OWL (4 issues) – Writer: J. Michael Straczynski. Artists: Andy and Joe Kubert
OZYMANDIAS (6 issues) – Writer: Len Wein. Artist: Jae Lee
SILK SPECTRE (4 issues) – Writer: Darwyn Cooke. Artist: Amanda Conner

Each week, a new issue will be released, and will feature a two-page back-up story called CURSE OF THE CRIMSON CORSAIR, written by original series editor Len Wein and with art by original series colorist John Higgins. There will also be a single issue, BEFORE WATCHMEN: EPILOGUE, featuring the work of various writers and artists, and a CRIMSON CORSAIR story by Wein and Higgins.

"The original series of 'Watchmen' is the complete story that Alan Moore and I wanted to tell. However, I appreciate DC's reasons for this initiative and the wish of the artists and writers involved to pay tribute to our work. May these new additions have the success they desire," said Dave Gibbons, "Watchmen" co-creator and original series artist.

"Comic books are perhaps the largest and longest running form of collaborative fiction," said DiDio and Lee. "Collaborative storytelling is what keeps these fictional universes current and relevant."

For yea, it was most important that we discover why Nite Owl liketh birds so much.

I bet he like, fell into this well, and like, birds flew out, and he was scared of birds. But then he felt that it was time for his enemies to share his fear.

N I T E O W L B E G I N S

[Marc v4.0]

Psst. Hey.

Hey, Magus.

http://www.nuklearforums.com/showthread.php?t=41331

[Magus]

Clearly I was confused by the phrase "galoop me home to my prince charming like swoon kingdong" and didn't see it.

[Magus]

Hah, well chalk me up to third threading this.

Anyway.

This is terrible.

Like yeah I mean I'm sure Brian Azzarello can properly bring the gorey grittiness Rorschach deserves (just read Joker, or hell the new Wonder Woman is pretty gorey for no reason), but it's so pointless. So, so pointless.

[POS Industries]

Hah, well chalk me up to third threading this.
Hey, it gives me something to do around here. Don't sweat it.

[Bard The 5th LW]

A prequel to Watchmen on the whole is just pretty pointless and redundant. The history and backstory behind it was already strongly detailed in the work proper, it was sort of a major part in the story in fact. Not much more to tell.

[Magus]

Not much more to tell.

Pretty sure it's super important that we learn about Ozymandias' first gay experience, or witness the Comedian's failed stand-up act that led to his intense nihilism.

Also that we give money to DC for multiple miniseries that are actually longer than the original damn thing.

Like when I first heard about this I think I envisioned an actual single miniseries as some kind of tie-in we could forget about, like maybe six comics total, not a fricking pantheon of pointlessness.