[Boners] Theory: 300 would have been better with gay sex

[Kim]

Liz: Man, you gotta laugh at how homoerotic homophobic things can be. Like, 300 is SUPER homophobic straight whatever the Hell. But if an hour and a half in they just had a big, gay orgy would it really feel out of place?

Terex4: I found it more out of place that they didn't have a big, gay orgy

Krylo: I wouldn't even bat an eye, Liz

Liz: Fuck

Liz: That woulda been such a better movie with a gay orgy scene

Krylo: Hoestly

Krylo: they should have at least had

Krylo: some gay fuckin'

Krylo: in the persian pleasure tent or what the fuck ever

Liz: Some lithe, gay Persians with gold-pierced dicks getting their fuck on

Krylo: Exactly

Krylo: honestly

Krylo: probably shoulda been a couple of them hanging off the king

Krylo: like

Krylo: It'd have totally fit in the setting and the time period

Liz: And the aesthetic

Discuss.

[CABAL49]

The real Spartans banged dudes. If it did it might have actually have been something factual in the movie.

[Numberwang Host]

It's called 300 because that's how gay it is on a scale from 1 to 10.

Numberwang!

[Satan's Onion]

I don't think it's particularly controversial to posit that, in fact, there are quite a few films and other works that would be moderately to greatly improved with the insertion addition of mansexing.

[kyrtuck]

Amazing, this thread isn't half as disturbing as I thought it would be.

it might have actually have been something factual in the movie.

You know what really pissed me off about 300? The Spartans make a big deal about Persians keeping slaves, but never even once mentioned the Helots. These were Sparta owned slaves who actually outnumbered the Spartans themselves, and they were treated like shit from what I know.

[ZARAK]

gold-pierced dicks
hanging off the king
Thank you and good night.

[Gregness]

Don't we have a thread for chat excerpts?

[Kim]

Don't we have a thread for chat excerpts?

I think we can all agree that the subject of lithe Persians with gold-pierced dicks taking it in the ass is a subject worthy its own thread.

[Bells]

The real Spartans banged dudes. If it did it might have actually have been something factual in the movie.

weren't they like, the ultimate dudes? I thought their beef with the greeks was exactly because they DIDN'T bang dudes like the greeks did...

and let me tell'ya, them greeks banged a lot of dudes !

[Amake]

From what I know all the ancient Greek city-states had this contest about whose dudes could bang each other the most while at the same time slander the others for doing the same. A result of combining a deep-seated misogyny that made it only possible for a man to experience true love with another man and the same deep-seated homophobia what still plagues the world, I'd think.

[Fifthfiend]

Amazing, this thread isn't half as disturbing as I thought it would be.



You know what really pissed me off about 300? The Spartans make a big deal about Persians keeping slaves, but never even once mentioned the Helots. These were Sparta owned slaves who actually outnumbered the Spartans themselves, and they were treated like shit from what I know.

Slavery's cool when white people do it.

[Fifthfiend]

Liz: Man, you gotta laugh at how homoerotic homophobic things can be. Like, 300 is SUPER homophobic straight whatever the Hell. But if an hour and a half in they just had a big, gay orgy would it really feel out of place?


No but only if you make it a completely homophobic.

[ZARAK]

What is it with Krylo and gay Persian mansex anyway?

[Kim]

He has good taste.

[Krylo]

What is it with ZARAK and not gay Persian mansex anyway?

[ZARAK]

A culture of refinement.

[Bells]

If i recall correctly, in the movie 300, they refer to the greeks as "boy lovers"

Now, i don't know if this implies Pedophilia or just Teen sex with Old bearded flabby guys... but if my History memory doesn't fail me, it was somewhat common for Greek benefactors to "take care" of young, promising boys by being their butt sex scholarship sugar daddies.

[Satan's Onion]

A culture of refinement.

lookit this guy, who thinks "refinement" doesn't include gay Persian mansex

I bet he doesn't even stick his pinky out when he sips his tea

how gauche

[Jagos]

Insert Science here (http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=single-angry-straight-male)

[Magus]

I thought 300 pretty much was a gay sex orgy delivered metaphorically. You got a bunch of mostly naked, sweaty dudes stabbing each other with spears. The climax of the movie is when Xerxes demands that Leonidas "kneel before [him]!" and give into his "power".