"Rick Santorum Rubs Me The Wrong Way" or "I Don't Want Rick Santorum Rubbing Me"

[Seil]

Link (http://ca.news.yahoo.com/santorum-damn-cling-guns-religion-230713781.html)

This isn't about conservatives in general, I just want to rip on Santorum.

http://i165.photobucket.com/albums/u59/Poetisch/c15030df45aa7c25f1d415a2ffe1991a-d4s19il.jpg

I mean, what's his campaign built on? I thought the divine-right idea went out the window with King James.

[3stan]

http://i.imgur.com/QcxhX.gif
I'm pretty sure Rick Santorum can live without rubbing you.

[Fifthfiend]

I can't believe Romney still hasn't won, this shit is amazing.

[Satan's Onion]

I can't believe Romney still hasn't won, this shit is amazing.

He'll still be around unless/until Mittens learns to speak the Parseltongue that seduces all the sociopaths, authoritarians, zealots and other assorted chuckleshits that serve as the inoperable pulsating gangrenous tumor-heart of the GOP.

Until that time, we all run the risk of being rubbed by Santorum. I for one hope he never rubs on me; he'd probably get an inappropriate boner and then call me a slut for forcing the rise of his penis with my womanly voodoos.

[Seil]

http://questionablecontent.net/comics/627.png

[Nique]

That comic is nearly ten years old, is as shitty as it's ever been, and I still read it on a weekly if not daily basis.

If webcomics indicate anything about politics, the next president will be so because he will be reliably terrible.

[Thadius]

Nah. The next president will seem like a nice guy.

Then in the last two years of his term, a horrible secret will be discovered about him that all the media networks previously had been trying to discover instead of reporting about the violation of your civil rights that is going on that you could be preventing hahah yeah right your congressman is in our pocket anyways.

In truth, it will be a lie, but one they can all agree on. Likely it will involve sex, murder, murder while having sex, vicious double lives, or a donkey. Or all at once. I'm not sure how yet, but give me time. I'll come up with something.

[Seil]

Rick Santorum has done all of the above.

[Thadius]

That is a blatant lie, Seil. I have yet to see definitive proof that he is in fact a nice guy.

[Osterbaum]

Wouldn't it be great if Santorum won? 'Cause then there wouldn't be a chance in hell of him winning against Obama.

[3stan]

I haven't been paying attention to the American politics beyond cartoonishly awful things that Santorum does. Is there anybody who stands a chance in hell against Obama?

[Sifright]

Santorum actually would have a decent chance to win because of the effect him being the opposition to obama would lead to. See the issue is every one would assume that obama would auto win if he was the opponent so voter turn out would be quite low on obamas side (speculation!) Where as santorum is the kind of candidate that gets all the crazies out of bed!

[POS Industries]

Where as santorum is the kind of candidate that gets all the crazies out of bed!
And, to his credit, he has.

However, it's failing to even win him the nomination and there's such a disparity between his and Romney's respective appeals that it's unlikely he'd be able to curry favor with the more moderate members of the voting public, especially those within his own party.

It's not like who 2008 was a tight race for the Democrats and the news outlets were going on about how "Will Obama be able to gain support from Hillary's base and unify the party blah blah blah" because of fucking course he could, they weren't actually all that different.

Romney and Santorum, meanwhile, are vastly different in terms of what makes each of them a completely horrible human being, and while Santorum plays well with the louder minority of Republicans who just want to "take our country back" (translation: "can't stand having a black president"), Romney is much more appealing to the slightly-less-loud majority of Republicans who are gullible fuckwits under the mistaken impression that, when Republican politicians say "tax cuts," someone other than the obscenely wealthy will be receiving them.

Besides, neither of them has a shot in hell of winning. Both men have the charisma of a day-old donut whereas Obama is, you know, Obama. No President has won an election based on their actual stance on the issues or performance in office since the invention of television.

[Magus]

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I think I should update my profile with Santorum stuff. Gingrich is outdated now.

[Seil]

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[Bells]

I HAVE COME HERE TO WIN THIS THREAD!!!

L6OUGNh5UQE

I HAVE WON THIS THREAD!

[Solid Snake]

I dunno, I honestly found a Fox News reporter of all people catching Santorum using the same exact logic as that which opposed racial integration of the armed forces in the 1940's far more exciting than a random video with porn stars urging us all to do the exact same thing we'd have done on May 1st anyway.

[Thadius]

I'm pretty sure, that in his own mind, Santorum believes himself to be the most right man in the universe.

However, I would really like to not live in the world that Santorum's mind would create. I believe it is the very definition of anti-progress.

[Solid Snake]

I'm pretty sure, that in his own mind, Santorum believes himself to be the most right man in the universe.

However, I would really like to not live in the world that Santorum's mind would create. I believe it is the very definition of anti-progress.

Dammit, this statement means either that:
1) Santorum was actually right all along, and the world he would create would be the best possible hypothetical future for humanity
OR
2) Thadius is actually right about something

MY MIND IS UNPREPARED TO HANDLE EITHER PROSPECTIVE REALITY

Quick Thadius reverse your position and declare that you've seen the light and Santorum was right all along
My sanity depends on it

[Thadius]

No, no I don't think I will.

Frankly, I would like to see your head explode.

It would amuse me SO MUCH at this point.

[Solid Snake]

On my tombstone it shall read, "Thwarted by being present on the internet the one and only time Thadius decided to behave sanely and rationally"

[Bells]

I'm not american but i still think every republican up there should just vote Martin Sheen as a Write in candidate for the Republican ticket.

I mean, have you seen him in The West Wing? He is a Republican and i love that guy! Bartlet 2012!

[Thadius]

If I am going to write in a candidate it is going to be Rainbow Dash.

[Nikose Tyris]

...just to confirm, Frothy Adventures has stated he intends to outlaw Pornography and blowjobs?

[Sky Warrior Bob]

If I am going to write in a candidate it is going to be Rainbow Dash.

Y'know I could easily see Mitt Romney changing his name to Rainbow Dash if he thought it'd get himself more votes.

[Magus]

...just to confirm, Frothy Adventures has stated he intends to outlaw Pornography and blowjobs?

The Anti-Fellatio Act cameras will be installed in your bedroom January 21st, 2013 at the latest. Please make sure someone is on the premises between 11 a.m. and 4 p.m. to ensure the technician will have access to your bedroom.