"So I'm Reading/Watching Game Of Thrones" or "Fuck You, Joffrey, You Pissant"

[Seil]

Oh, so, yeah, probably gonna be some spoilers in this thread.

The best moment so far in the series has been in the second episode, where Tyrion wakes up outside, in a kennel, with Joffrey gloating over him, and then proceeds to order him around and smack him in the face a few times.

vuJROtF2jRY

Also Visareys. I mean "I would let every Dothraki and his horse fuck you if it means I get to be king." Why doesn't Conan realize he's an insane, pompous ass and just murder the shit out of him?

[Aldurin]

Seil, I literally just decided to start watching Game of Thrones and you make a thread while I'm watching the first episode?

What the fuck.

Turn of your psychovision or whatever the fuck your booze gives you. It's creepy.

But this show is legit. HBO earned its tv pioneer status or whatever the fuck it is they say about that network.

[Seil]

I downloaded a few episodes on iTunes to test the waters, and now I'm going to buy the first season tomorrow.

Winter is coming.

(Also, I want to hear your reaction to the end of the second episode.)

[CABAL49]

I'm on the 3rd season here, and it is the best so far. Hurry up and get caught up.

I don't want to give away spoilers, but holy fuck is it epic.

[Aldurin]

(Also, I want to hear your reaction to the end of the second episode.)

You mean holy shit kids are terrible, like Matt and Pat level of "kids are awful"? Because that's how I feel.

[Seil]

Not kids. Like, I can understand most things. I can understand Catelyn's dislike of Jon. That makes sense. I can understand Aryas' wanting to break gender roles. Yeah. Sansa, yeah, she's only interested in status, and the idea that she could one day become the Queen. I can even understand Jaime and Cersei; their relationship is the only one in the series based on love.

Joffrey, however, is a sadistic prick.

[Amake]

Joffrey looks like he's actively trying to think of something to do that would make you want to slap him so hard he'll have to pull down his pants to show his stupid hair because he hates himself, but at the same time he knows he'll always get away with it and he loves that because he's much better than you and you deserve whatever he does to you for not being him.

I'm rather pleased that I was able to pin down this very specific expression. I'm less pleased that it's Joffrey's only expression. That is one guy you could kind of understand if he got as much hate mail as the actress who plays Sansa gets.

[Menarker]

I should hasten to note though that the actor of Joffrey himself is apparently a super nice kid. So much that much of the other cast has been super protective of him off camera, especially during interviews because of how much negative attention such a role has given him.

At least according to what I read on TVtropes regarding some of their actors.

[Magus]

Apparently Jack Gleeson has sworn off future film and TV roles. He wants to focus on his scholarly studies. He also smokes a pipe so you know he's hardcore.

Anyway, as someone who'd read the books and now watched all three season I'll probably attempt to remove myself from this thread for the most part because of spoilers. I will say that though there are some changes from the novels this series has been spectacularly accurate and is kickass as all get out. It didn't quite equal my ecstasy at finally seeing LOTR adapted back in the early 2000s after a childhood reading it, but I was still floored that one of my favorite fantasy series got the red-carpet treatment like this. I'm quite thankful to HBO and the producers, directors, and actors for bringing A Song of Ice and Fire to life like this.

[Grandmaster_Skweeb]

Yeahhh, this show. This fuckin' show. It grabs you by the short 'n curlies and doesn't let go 'cause fuck you it ain't lettin go and you're going to like it.

Fantastic show. I'll get around to reading the books. eventually.

[PCD]

Oh all of you newcomers, please do keep us updated as you go along through the series. Watching the reactions of people who haven't read the books is a favorite pastime of mine, like watching a little kid fall in love with a new toy and then freak out when it breaks.

And it breaks a lot.

[Seil]

Winter is coming.
Like · · Share


Seil I like the Starks already.

Seil Okay, well, some of the Starks.

Seil Tyrion is apparently rad. Apparently.

Seil Jaime is an alright sort.

Seil Blondie I could do without.

Seil Man, Cersei is weird. Understandably.

Seil So apparently "Frak" only exists on one show. Everyone else knows how to curse.

Seil Jaime, you're an asshole.

Seil Like, frak.

Seil So apparently Joras is a pretty decent dude.

Seil Viserys, however, continues to be an ass.

Seil Oh, Tyrion.

Seil I like how Tyrion wakes up in the kennel, sleeping with the dogs, gets up (with probably the worst hangover ever) and immediately speaks down to Joffrey while he gloats over him.

Seil Ha!

Seil Oh, Tyrion.

Seil Okay, so Cersei is understandably cold.

Seil And Jaime is still an ass.

Seil But Jon Snow is great.

Seil I can't even make a Boromir joke. Sean Bean is pretty rad.

Seil Go dire wolf. Frack yeah.

Seil So... dragons.


---------- Post added at 11:08 PM ---------- Previous post was at 10:49 PM ----------

So apparently Jaime is trying to justify what he did. Odd that in the book, there was a whole bunch of child murder in the throne room that one time.

---------- Post added at 11:09 PM ---------- Previous post was at 11:08 PM ----------

So... Braelish. Telling his superior that he still wants his wife. ...Smooth.

---------- Post added at 11:10 PM ---------- Previous post was at 11:09 PM ----------

So apparently Westeros is as broke as Greece. Whatevs, I'm sure the Dothraki can manage a bail out.

---------- Post added at 11:12 PM ---------- Previous post was at 11:10 PM ----------

Man, fuck the royal Lannisters.

---------- Post added at 11:30 PM ---------- Previous post was at 11:12 PM ----------

Man, all Braelish needs is a mustache he can twirl nefariously.

---------- Post added at 11:41 PM ---------- Previous post was at 11:30 PM ----------

So Robert isn't very Kingly, but Jaime is getting better. Cersei seems to be the best royal in the whole damn thing.

---------- Post added at 11:44 PM ---------- Previous post was at 11:41 PM ----------

Fuck you, Viserys, fuck yeah Mormont.

---------- Post added 05-03-2013 at 12:08 AM ---------- Previous post was 05-02-2013 at 11:44 PM ----------

Oh, Tyrion.

---------- Post added at 12:10 AM ---------- Previous post was at 12:08 AM ----------

Are all fencing teachers this eccentric? Well, yeah. I guess so. They are fencing teachers.

---------- Post added at 12:18 AM ---------- Previous post was at 12:10 AM ----------

You asshole, Tyrion.

---------- Post added at 12:20 AM ---------- Previous post was at 12:18 AM ----------

Why do I have flashbacks to Full Metal Jacket here?

---------- Post added at 01:20 AM ---------- Previous post was at 12:20 AM ----------

So Jon Snow is pretty rad.

---------- Post added at 01:41 AM ---------- Previous post was at 01:20 AM ----------

Okay, I can get used to the whole people beating up Viserys.

---------- Post added at 02:26 AM ---------- Previous post was at 01:41 AM ----------

So a Lannister walks into a bar....

[The Artist Formerly Known as Hawk]

I just caught up with season 3 yesterday and I must say, I am enjoying it far more than season 2. The Tyrell grandmother (I forget her name now) has totally stolen the show with every line of dialogue she has.

And the Unsullied. Holy shit the Unsullied. I knew that scene was going to be good from the books, but man, it was fucking awesome.

I too best stop talking here because spoilers. I just can't wait for the next few big events that are coming, like a certain RW and something up at the Wall.

Gah, no more! Spoilers.

[batgirl]

I have watched all the way until season 3, but I'm in the midst of reading the third book, so I won't be watching until said book is done with. I for one enjoy reading the books first, and I'm around a third of the way through.

So, everyone's favorite character? I'm sure I'm one of the many to jump on the Tyrion bandwagon, but I'm also partial to Danerys and Arya.

[The Artist Formerly Known as Hawk]

Tyrion and Arya are the best characters. This is an indisputable fact. Bronn is also a pretty cool dude. Littlefinger and Varys are humourus to watch, though only when they get to verbally spar with each other. Olenna Tyrel is also becoming ever more awesome, to the point of showing up both of the former with her undiluted snark.

That is all.

[Magus]

Arya v. Tyrion is too hard a debate so

I'ma go with the Hound.

[Seil]

Okay, so I officially cast my vote for stupidest character. You might say Hodor, because he's simple minded. But no, simple minded does not mean stupid. Hodor actually built the saddle Bran uses at Tyrion's specifications. He might be simple, but he has skills that are put to good use. What about Greyjoy? Nope. He's got a bit of a chip on his shoulder, but he's not stupid. Sansa? Not really... she's just young and naive. Well, what about Sam? Guess again.

It's Vanereys.

Think about it. In terms of the first season, he's the dumbest person in Westeros. He and Danaerys went on the run after the rebellion, the last two Targaryeans. He's got this idea that just because he's got a claim to the throne, people will support him - despite his inexperience, and his narcissism. He regularly abuses and berates his only living relative, literally selling her to the Dothraki. There, upon finding that his sister is growing comfortable in a life where she has family, friends and loyal subjects, he... well, he continues to abuse her.

While living in their camp, surrounded by thousands of warriors, he continues to berate them, screaming curses and slurs (despite some of the Dothraki learning the common tongue) while expecting them to follow him in battle for a kingdom that they will probably not share. For fuck's sake, he comes in to a feast in honor of his unborn nephew, and while drunk, proceeds to scream and threaten her, her husband (a warrior king) and all of the other (probably noble) Dothraki warriors.

Well, at least he got his crown.

[Magus]

Oh, man, that's another debate: Joffrey v. Viserys, who is the biggest asshole?

Like, okay, Viserys is clearly an adult and not a trumped-up teenager so he should presumably be able to not act like such a spoiled fuckhead. BUT on the other hand Viserys has actually had a somewhat shittier life than Joffrey who is just the supreme epitome of indulgence. They are also both mysogynistic jerkoffs.

[Seil]

God damn is Lysa crazy.

[Lumenskir]

http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_llbif5jn0Z1qk2t5co1_r1_500.jpg
http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_llebklcGdb1qk2t5co1_500.jpg

Also, fuck, how do you people get off spelling the names out all the time.

[Seil]

Also, fuck, how do you people get off spelling the names out all the time.

?

[Magus]

Also, fuck, how do you people get off spelling the names out all the time.

So you're saying that typing out Daenerys Stormborn of the House Targaryen, the First of Her Name, Blood of Old Valyria, Mother of Dragons, and the Rightful Queen of the Andals, the Rhoynar, and the First Men is too hard for you?

[Lumenskir]

From now on everyone except Hodor should be referred to as "Hot Pie".

[Seil]

Hodor.

---------- Post added at 09:24 PM ---------- Previous post was at 07:12 PM ----------

I love how in Game Of Thrones, nearly everyone is terrible. But the only reason they do terrible things is because of love. Or they're at least profoundly damaged.

---------- Post added 05-05-2013 at 12:27 AM ---------- Previous post was 05-04-2013 at 09:24 PM ----------

Just finished season one.


...So, dragons?

[Satan's Onion]

...
Just finished season one.


...So, dragons?

:3: Hodor. Hodor hodor.

[Seil]

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Satan's Onion again

[PCD]

So dragons.

[The Artist Formerly Known as Hawk]

So you're saying that typing out Daenerys Stormborn of the House Targaryen, the First of Her Name, Blood of Old Valyria, Mother of Dragons, and the Rightful Queen of the Andals, the Rhoynar, and the First Men is too hard for you?

You forgot to add "Breaker of Chains."

[Odjn]

They don't know about that stop spoilin'

[Seil]

Jorah Mormont is so cool.

[Magus]

Do yourself a favor and rewatch that fight between him and the bloodrider in episode 9. Excellent choreography.

IwUALmpmPOw

[Seil]

Every fight scene has excellent choreography.

---------- Post added at 11:06 PM ---------- Previous post was at 10:39 PM ----------

So I'm spoliering a bit for myself, and I heard Jaime say why he killed the Mad King. Goddamn that scene is well done.

[Lumenskir]

I know the showrunners have gone on record about caring more about the overall season as a whole rather than individual episodes hanging by themselves, but I still wish they'd consolidate some stuff into single episodes rather than dropping in for a scene every other week just to let us know that some characters still exist, even if they aren't doing anything interesting at that moment.

Like, in Season 2 I would totally have been down for an episode at the end where they showed you what Hot Pie had been up to all that time, rather than dropping in to hear her wandering around asking where her Hot Pies were all the time. In this current season that seems to have been taken up with the whole "Let's watch Hot Pie get tortured some more and find out nothing again" thing happening somewhere. And yes, book nerds, I know it "All Pays Off Later!!!" but it still doesn't change the fact that every minute of meandering Hot Pie torture porn is one less minute of, say, Hot Pie talking to Hot Pie (it doesn't even matter if they're talking about plot relevant marriages or just how much they like breathing, I want more of them alone in a room).

[Seil]

So I'm reading the last of the first book before I get the second TV season and I realize "Holy crap, it's all Jaime and Cersei's fault!" Let's look at the facts:

Jon Arryn figures out that Jaime and Cersei are a thing, and that Joffrey is not the true heir. They kill him, prompting Lyssa to go insane and Robert to go all the way to Winterfell to take a completely disinterested Ned Stark as Hand.

Bran catches the two having sex. Jaime pushes him out of the window. When this doesn't kill him, an assassin is sent, prompting Catelyn to do her own little investigation where she finds out that the Lannisters might be killing people. She leaves to warn Ned, and upon returning, captures Tyrion because she had to think fast in a bad situation.

Ned figures out Joffrey's parentage and confronts Cersei. Joffrey, who according to the thread title is a pissant, and Littlefinger, who totally wants to bang Ned Stark's wife, capture Ned and throw him in a dungeon and attack his family. Upon hearing this, Rob Stark goes to war.

Tywin Lannister goes to war over his captured son, whereupon his first captured son walks back home and his second son is captured.

Joffrey has Ned Stark killed and eliminates any chance of peace between Kings Landing and Winterfell ever.

[Amake]

...Joffrey is not the true heir. They kill him. . .
For a moment there I read that as "Joffrey gets killed" and was like "Oh man I've never been so happy to have a critical plot point spoilerd".

Damn man they should just go ahead and change his legal name to Joffrey "The Asshole" Baratheon. Like you could blame his dad-uncle and mom-aunt for screwing him up at a genetic level and most especially his mom-aunt for teaching him the wrong things (and the king for teaching him nothing), but honestly as soon as he could walk he went down to the asshole store and loaded up the cart with all he could fit in it, I mean if they sold asshole stocks in the Westeros stock exchange they could get Joffrey arrested for insider trading.

Huh, I don't know where that came from. Maybe it's just necessary to rant about Joffrey about every other week, like going to the bathroom. I want that fictional character to die so bad my nipples are hard.*

[The Artist Formerly Known as Hawk]

So I'm reading the last of the first book before I get the second TV season and I realize "Holy crap, it's all Jaime and Cersei's fault!" Let's look at the facts:

Jon Arryn figures out that Jaime and Cersei are a thing, and that Joffrey is not the true heir. They kill him, prompting Lyssa to go insane and Robert to go all the way to Winterfell to take a completely disinterested Ned Stark as Hand.

Bran catches the two having sex. Jaime pushes him out of the window. When this doesn't kill him, an assassin is sent, prompting Catelyn to do her own little investigation where she finds out that the Lannisters might be killing people. She leaves to warn Ned, and upon returning, captures Tyrion because she had to think fast in a bad situation.

Ned figures out Joffrey's parentage and confronts Cersei. Joffrey, who according to the thread title is a pissant, and Littlefinger, who totally wants to bang Ned Stark's wife, capture Ned and throw him in a dungeon and attack his family. Upon hearing this, Rob Stark goes to war.

Tywin Lannister goes to war over his captured son, whereupon his first captured son walks back home and his second son is captured.

Joffrey has Ned Stark killed and eliminates any chance of peace between Kings Landing and Winterfell ever.

Heh. Heh heh. Man, I don't wanna spoil anything but, if you think even for a moment you have this plot all figured out, well, you know nothing.

[Seil]

I would enjoy this show much more if they called it Tyrion and Jon: Adventures At Castle Black.

And their wacky friend Ser Jorah would pop in for a quick cameo once every episode.

---------- Post added at 12:32 AM ---------- Previous post was at 12:31 AM ----------

As it stands, the show is called "Baby Killing: Desert Footage."

---------- Post added at 02:05 AM ---------- Previous post was at 12:32 AM ----------

So... apparently.... at some point... shadow.... things crawl out of people's va-jay-jays. That's a thing. Yeah. Not too sure how I feel about that.

[Intern Nin]

So... apparently.... at some point... shadow.... things crawl out of people's va-jay-jays. That's a thing. Yeah. Not too sure how I feel about that.
I'm pretty sure you should be equal parts horrified and terrified.

[The Artist Formerly Known as Hawk]

I would enjoy this show much more if they called it Tyrion and Jon: Adventures At Castle Black.

Personally I'd prefer a season or 3 of the Tyrion and Bronn show;


Zi358XpWQwk

[Intern Nin]

So, who here prefers the God of Bosoms and Libations over the God of Light? I know I do.

[Seil]

So "The Man" is pretty rad.

---------- Post added 05-20-2013 at 01:07 AM ---------- Previous post was 05-19-2013 at 10:45 PM ----------

So recap! Danerys is a terrible Khaleesi without Drogo, Jorah is still awesome.

Robb is awesome.

Jon is... well, Jon will always be awesome but there was that time where he didn't kill that wildling woman , but I guess that will sort itself out.

Theon is a little shit.

Bran and Rickon, who hasn't had many scenes save for being a boss in the Stark crypt with Shaggydog and smashing walnuts on a table. Osha is pretty cool. Hodor is... Hodor.

Arya is still rad, and Gendry and The Man are with her, so she'll be okay, I think.

Joffrey is still a pissant and a sadist and seriously, fuck Joffrey.

Tyrion is still rad as balls.

Cersei is an ass. Understandably, but an ass.

---------- Post added at 02:20 AM ---------- Previous post was at 01:07 AM ----------

So I was all set up to like Jaime, but then he started headbutting people.

---------- Post added at 02:57 AM ---------- Previous post was at 02:20 AM ----------

So Theon Greyjoy is an ass and those are obviously the two orphan children who were sent to the farm.

Obviously.

Right?

---------- Post added at 03:22 AM ---------- Previous post was at 02:57 AM ----------

Arya, what are you doing? J'aquen is cool!

[Satan's Onion]

...
So Theon Greyjoy is an ass and those are obviously the two orphan children who were sent to the farm.

Obviously.

Right?

Hodor... hodor.

[Seil]

So Denareys and the dragons are kind of cool, what with burning the werewolf monk from Doctor Who, and her revenge against the king of Qarth. Jorah is always pretty rad.

Brienne and Jamie look fun. She's going to end up beating the crap out of him at some point, but they look pretty fun.

I don't know about the whole Wall thing for the Winterfell party, that's going to south real quick. But, yeah, I want them to succeed. Theon, though, I hope will burn alive or something like that.

Robb seems pretty happy with his lady friend, but if you think that's going to end well I have a bridge I want to sell you. Catelyn is in some deep muck, though.

Jon looks like he might be okay, if he keeps his wits about him. Sam does, too. The White Walkers, though, seem... cool, but the costume head looks like a mask made out of papier mache.

Arya, Gendry and Hot Pie are a cool little team. I just wish they went with J'ahquen Morghulis, cause he was cool as balls.

The Tyrells seem like they'll play a big part, but I don't know what that means for Sansa. I never really liked Sansa, but I'm hoping she doesn't get dead. Joffrey, on the other hand, well... awful ruler, coward, sadist and an evil little shit, but he's very lucky in that he manages to find himself surrounded by people who aren't so incompetent as him.

Tyrion, Shae, and the Hound I like. I wish the Hound had kept around, but it was nice of him to offer Sansa a lift.

The wildfire thing was totally rad. I have no idea where Bronn is, but he's pretty rad too. Cersei is still a bad person.

[Intern Nin]

God





Damn

[PCD]

Hahahahahahahahahahahaha

oh man I've been waiting for this all season.

[Odjn]

Oh I love this. I love this so much.

[The Artist Formerly Known as Hawk]

I just caught up with ep 9. They definately did it justice. The best part though, is watching peoples reactions to it;

78juOpTM3tE#!

Actually, the best part of the episode was seeing Grey Worm in action, Holy shit that guy's got some moves! In fact, this thread is now all about how much Grey Worm is a badass motherfucker.

[Seil]

How people reacted to last night's Game Of Thrones. (http://www.dorkly.com/comic/52100/how-people-reacted-to-last-nights-game-of-thrones)

[Magus]

Glad all of you are no longer knights of summer. Come and sip from the cup of melancholy with the rest of us.

It takes a lot of energy to avoid talking about the Red Wedding for three years.

As "Boy" would say (god can we just come out and say who he is already? We already had the biggest spoiler, people. OH WELL I WON;T SPOIL IT. I honestly don't even know why they kept it a mystery in the show but anyway):

If you think this story has a happy ending, you haven't been paying attention.

[Aldurin]

Hey I'm just 10 minutes away from catching up with everyone on Game of Thrones and . . .

THE FUCK!

But really fucking hell the director is a genius and an asshole for making deaths throughout the series be varying degrees of anti-climatic or brutal to the point where I seriously expected the top of Tyrian's head to slide off when he received the scar wound in the blackwater. And once again I was thrown around by the bizarre pattern of emphasis on deaths.

[Lumenskir]

elZ7L0QS4AY&feature=youtu.be

[Magus]

I've been wanting one with the Curb Your Enthusiasm theme music. Can anyone hook me up? Have it come on just as Robb slumps to the ground backwards for maximum hilarity.

Anyway, this is what Martin does to his fans:

http://i44.tinypic.com/2s85ukk.jpg

[Seil]

http://i165.photobucket.com/albums/u59/Poetisch/970640_10152211349901515_1751881622_n_zpsa5653d25. jpg

[Magus]

MASSIVE SPOILER FOR EPISODE 9 SEASON 3 OF GAME OF THRONES

PL1en0c0vU4

[Intern Nin]

Funny true story, I was about half way through my bratwurst dinner when the scene changed to Ramsey and Theon's funhouse. I spat the bite in my mouth out into a napkin before he explained that it was pork. Fed the rest of it to my dog anyway. Yeesh.

[Aldurin]

Funny true story, I was about half way through my bratwurst dinner when the scene changed to Ramsey and Theon's funhouse. I spat the bite in my mouth out into a napkin before he explained that it was pork. Fed the rest of it to my dog anyway. Yeesh.

You mean you didn't learn by now not to eat during an episode? Especially after the last one?

[Azisien]

I'm almost done the fourth book and I finished the third a while before the...recent events...

The reaction has been so awesome. I've been telling the show-only viewers to stock up on precriptions of Xanax and Oxy if they thought season 3 was rough.

[Lumenskir]

[Placeholder for inevitable "Theon/Dick in a Box" mashup video]

Hopefully that's the last we have to waste time with that black hole of a sub'plot'. Way to make me dread gratuitous titties and a dude from Misfits, show. Here's hoping the reunion of the second-prettiest incestuous couple happens soon so we can just forget this all happened.

[Intern Nin]

You mean you didn't learn by now not to eat during an episode? Especially after the last one?

To be fair, I marathoned the first season and watched the western broadcast at nine o' clock for the second season and most of the third. This is the only viewing where it coincided with dinner and I had thought that after the Red Wedding had wrapped up, I was in the clear. Turns out I was wrong. Lesson learned.

[Magus]

Ramsay's not a savage.

[Intern Nin]

Yeah, but he is a sick fuck.

[The Artist Formerly Known as Hawk]

A friend of mine just sent me this, it was too good not to share;


https://fbcdn-sphotos-b-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-frc3/988599_557421007634960_1397466363_n.png

[Magus]

Hah, he rides subway trains like he's people!

Anyway, Game of Thrones has made my life supremely better: if I'd known buying a Game of Thrones t-shirt was going to get chicks to talk to me, I would have bought one season 1. Two conversations today merely by wearing it.

Oh, you miss Robb Stark, baby? LET ME SOOTHE YOU

Best 9 dollars I ever spent, let me tell you. Finally my years of nerdery have paid off. Vinyl collection? HOW ABOUT THESE SONG OF ICE AND FIRE HARDBACKS OVER HERE ON THE SHELF. YES THEY ARE FIRST EDITIONS

Note to self: get first edition Song of Ice and Fire hardbacks

[Seil]

http://i165.photobucket.com/albums/u59/Poetisch/970763_386549604790024_762771206_n_zps32d200b1.jpg

[Magus]

It's funny but it would have been been better with proper spacing between words and punctuation.