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View Full Version : Booyakasha, friends. Let's Talk Turtle.


Intern Nin
05-11-2013, 10:49 PM
Didn't feel like reviving the old thread, seeing as how it was already a 100+ posts long and over a year old. (The Neighborhood Watch would like to remind you that thread necromancy is still a crime against humanity.)

I think it's safe to say that a lot of fans are already long past the point of actually giving a shit about the new Michael Bay produced TMNT flick coming out in the next year or so. After hearing Bay's incoherent rambling about how children will believe in the existence of Alien Turtles and reading that god-awful (not)Casey-Jones-centric script, that's pretty understandable. So, I'm just gonna swap out the ensuing the whining and bellyaching and general |click here (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T8k-obRa90k)| that I feel in heart of hearts about this whole thing. You can click the word dump if you want to, I'm gonna talk about cartoons like a mature adult who is still dependent on his family.

So, after the outcry over the internet about the leaked script, Michael Bay started backpedaling like loco and was all, "Aliens? Tch, I never said that. You guys must have misheard me because of all the not-brains between your ears." He went on about how that was totally an early draft that got out and how the the finished product will in no way, shape, or form resemble that script. So, the story went through an overhaul, or at least the studio said it did, and they began casting and filming just a few months ago. You probably already know about Megan Fox's role in this movie and that's all I feel like saying about that particular topic. Danny Woodburn (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0940173/?ref_=tt_cl_t6) is playing Splinter, probably more to due with the motion capture that's being used and his stature rather than actually fitting the role of "wise, man-sized rat ninja master". I should probably be more upset about this, seeing as how he's metaphorically taking food out of the mouth of one the many elderly Asian actors out there who make a living off of playing stock martial arts masters, but hey, he found work after Seinfeld that doesn't involve dressing up in pointy shoes or speakin' wit an Oirish aksent. Good for him.

I don't even know anything about the guys playing the turtles and I don't feel like finding out. It's not like any of the guys whose played the turtles in any of live-action films did anything significant before or moved on to greatness after. (I'm looking at you, Corey Feldman.) The newest bit of subdued butt-hurt stems from the announcement of William Fichtner being signed on to the movie (http://nerdreactor.com/2013/05/09/new-teenage-mutant-ninja-turtles-shredder-has-possibly-been-cast/). The people in charge haven't said who he's playing exactly, only that's a very important character in the franchise and the article says it's probably Shredder. Or Schraeder, as he is now called. Ugh. And so, there is now a Caucasian actor filling in the role of every Japanese character for this movie. Kudos, Bay and Liebesman. Kudos Hollywood.

So let's talk about the newest toon on Nick. So far, it is pretty frickin' good. The show does a very good job of combining the different elements of the franchise (tragic story of ninja vengeance/ pulp sci-fi) in a very cool way. It's funny, action-packed, and sometimes even smart. The turtles are fifteen years mutated (again), have just begun exploring the surface (yet again), and recently discovered the culinary delight that is pizza (it's back baby). I should be bored of this by now but the turtles' personalities, banter, and enthusiasm plus pretty animation makes me forget that this is the (one, two, three, four...) fifth time I've seen the same origin story played out but in a different way and makes me want more. Did I mention the animation? Top notch by television standards. Nick seems to given the show an Avatar sized budget and it shows. Speaking of Avatar, the fights in this show, like Avatar, are the best. Just plain great. The movements are fluid and the choreography is something else.

The voice acting in this is the best that it's ever been and the cast, man. Oh man, the cast. Jason Biggs (aka Pie Guy (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8NgIiTwKtws)) plays Leonardo less like the ultra-disciplined martial arts student insta-leader of the past and more of a rookie teenage leader who is heavily into martial arts and sci-fi cartoons. (Also, Space Heroes (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q-WjIvlf1_c) is the best incarnation of Star Trek to date, by the way.) Donatello is played by Rob "Raphael '87 / The Voice" Paulsen and is just equal parts cringe-worthy nerd-ling behavior and smart-mouth butt-kicker. Sean Austin's (Samwise, Twoflower, and Mikey) Raphael is twisted piece of jerk with a heart of golden jerk. He's my favorite. Michelangelo (Greg Cipes) is... well, pretty much Beast Boy minus the ears and vegetarianism.

Splinter (Hoon Lee) is Hamato Yoshi again and he is the best ninja master ever. For those of you who miss Spectacular Spider-man, Kevin Michael Richardson (Tombstone) is playing the Shredder this time around. There's no giggle rays, just his thirst for vengeance. Also, Mae Whitman, Kelly Hu, Clancy Brown, Nolan North, Lewis Black are on this show. I wish I could gush more about their respective April, Karai, cartoon Chuck Norris, Kraang, and Spiderbites but I'm already past wall of text here.

Bottom line: Everyday is talk like a Kraang Day and if you're only going to watch one merchandise-driven, half-hour program on Saturday morning, make it this one.

Or I will find you.

Magus
05-11-2013, 11:14 PM
Let's not even talk about that TMNT movie. I mean I only got five words to say on that:

Megan Fox is April O'Neil.

Okay so let's just forget that shit is a thing that is happening, that a "human being" (I guess Bay qualifies...) is doing that, choosing Megan Fox to play April O'Neil. To save our sanity, let's just never speak of it again.

---------- Post added at 12:13 AM ---------- Previous post was at 12:12 AM ----------

Like seriously please God let's never ever speak of it again.

---------- Post added at 12:14 AM ---------- Previous post was at 12:13 AM ----------

SERIOUSLY PLEASE. PLEASE MAKE IT GET OUT OF MY HEAD.

Intern Nin
05-11-2013, 11:27 PM
Shh, shh ,shhhhh. It's okay, man. You're in a safe place. Viacom won't replace your childhood crush with an insipid actress here.

Krylo
05-11-2013, 11:53 PM
Yes they will.

Magus
05-12-2013, 12:07 AM
THINK HAPPY THOUGHTS, THINK HAPPY THOUGHTS

Aerozord
05-12-2013, 02:00 AM
I am just sad that the turtles movies will make money simply for being a turtles movie. I mean its not like being horrible and kicking the subject matter in the nuts stopped Transformers from making tons of cash.

Aldurin
05-12-2013, 02:05 AM
So when does EA publish the game to go with the movie?

Intern Nin
05-12-2013, 02:54 AM
The one known as Aldurin is clearly saying the things that the one known as Aldurin is saying in this place for the purpose of driving Nin up a wall. Nin asks that the one known as Aldurin ceases to say things that the one known as Aldurin is saying to drive Nin up a wall.

Magus
05-12-2013, 08:22 PM
So when does EA publish the game to go with the movie?

I am just sad that the turtles movies will make money simply for being a turtles movie. I mean its not like being horrible and kicking the subject matter in the nuts stopped Transformers from making tons of cash.

http://i40.tinypic.com/f3anbr.gif

If you want a picture of [my film, Ninja Turtles], imagine a boot stamping on a human face — forever. You are imagining that there is something called human nature which will be outraged by what we do and will turn against us. But we create human nature. Men are infinitely malleable.

Intern Nin
05-18-2013, 09:32 AM
Cheer up, Emo Kid. At least we still got an awesome comic by IDW, a neat looking game coming out, and a cartoon that's been renewed for three seasons already. As long as there's profit to be made from this franchise, there's always a chance for a movie reboot.

Now shut up and sing along.
Wr43pQwYT18

akaSM
05-18-2013, 01:59 PM
That song is wrong.

Kyanbu The Legend
05-18-2013, 02:09 PM
I kinda like it.

It's a nice call back to the 1980's TMNT. Infact the show itself feels like a shout out to it. I'm still waiting for modern incarnations of Bebop and Rock Steady to appear.

Intern Nin
05-18-2013, 10:19 PM
That song is wrong.

*shrug* It grows on you. This is a TMNT show, cheesy super radical opening is like a requirement.

I'm still waiting for modern incarnations of Bebop and Rock Steady to appear.

Unless we get a Turtles Forever 2, I don't think they're ever going to appear on this show. Shredder already has his two mutant flunkies for this incarnation anyways, Fishface and Dogpound.

gaolSJSHyC0

Magus
05-18-2013, 11:39 PM
*cue argument over whether or not Raph is "cool but crude" or "cool but rude" in the lyrics of the TMNT theme song*

Intern Nin
05-18-2013, 11:48 PM
In the vein of making posts that are likely to cause a small riot, remember that time the Archie TMNT comic talked about Islam in a completely respectful manner while featuring a fully detailed picture of the prophet Muhammad's face and no one got hurt?

tacticslion
05-21-2013, 12:21 PM
In the vein of making posts that are likely to cause a small riot, remember that time the Archie TMNT comic talked about Islam in a completely respectful manner while featuring a fully detailed picture of the prophet Muhammad's face and no one got hurt?

Yeah, actually, though I'd forgotten that. That was pretty sweet.

The Archie comics series was really interesting; it varied wildly from being awesome to being... uh... "strange" with a hint of interesting.

(Though I also remember their actual crossover with Archie. I mean the Archie comics actually having a crossover with Archie... comics... crew... people. Like the guy who has all the girl problems and a friend named Jughead. They met the turtles. Because the turtles were spat out of a flying cow's head.

... I... don't remember why they were there in the first place.)

If I recall, though, the turtles spin-off series, Mighty Mutanimals went straight from, "kind of okay/could be cool" to "AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGG CANNOT UN-SEE!!!!!!!!!!" requiring-heavy-doses-of-brain-bleach-to-continue-functioning territory.

It was totally "Raphael is cool, but rude!", by the way (though he never really lived up to that statement). :D

Magus
05-21-2013, 02:07 PM
In the vein of making posts that are likely to cause a small riot, remember that time the Archie TMNT comic talked about Islam in a completely respectful manner while featuring a fully detailed picture of the prophet Muhammad's face and no one got hurt?

Not only was that pre-Iraq, the response to the Danish drawings was what, protests and death threats? Not exactly a big deal. I think Western media blew it out of proportion.

Maybe Danes aren't used to getting death threats. American comic book artists get several a day so they don't even care.

Kyanbu The Legend
05-22-2013, 09:11 AM
Unless we get a Turtles Forever 2, I don't think they're ever going to appear on this show. Shredder already has his two mutant flunkies for this incarnation anyways, Fishface and Dogpound.

gaolSJSHyC0

Yeah, but it's just not the same. Although I did get a kick out of how dog pound (before he was mutated) was basicly an expy of Chuck Norris.

Shyria Dracnoir
05-22-2013, 08:07 PM
Nin, I'm not upset that you bought this up again, I'm just disappointed

http://i212.photobucket.com/albums/cc230/Shyria_Dracnoir/enhanced-buzz-1545-1359484130-3_zps013fbd54.jpg

Intern Nin
05-23-2013, 10:34 AM
I don't care!~
http://i1166.photobucket.com/albums/q613/Intern_Nin/Idontcare_zps090595fc.jpg

Magus
05-31-2013, 08:44 PM
Whoopi Goldberg is now in this movie.

I think the AV Club perfectly captured my feelings upon hearing that (http://www.avclub.com/articles/whoopi-goldberg-cast-in-teenage-mutant-ninja-turtl,98479/):


Whoopi Goldberg cast in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and it's the weekend so whatever, bye

She's playing a person who for fuck's sake let's just go home already

Comedian and View sass-pot Whoopi Goldberg has joined the eclectic cast of the Michael Bay-produced Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and also it’s 5 p.m. on a goddamn Friday. According to a report from Comic Book Movie, Goldberg will play “Bernadette Thompson,” a gender-flipped revision on the “Burne Thompson” character who bossed around April O'Neil in the Ninja Turtles cartoon series. According to us, it’s the motherfucking weekend.

Anyway, here’s a picture of Goldberg leaving the Ninja Turtles set in a weirdly gigantic jumpsuit, and her hair is all crazy, and whatever, we'll see you on Monday.

MSperoni
05-31-2013, 09:41 PM
American comic book artists get several [death threats] a day so they don't even care.

I average about four a day, but I'm working on getting more. 20-30 per day would be great. I'm not greedy. I think Brian gets about 70 a day ever since 8-bit ended.

Magus
06-01-2013, 02:30 AM
I average about four a day, but I'm working on getting more. 20-30 per day would be great. I'm not greedy. I think Brian gets about 70 a day ever since 8-bit ended.

Honestly, Brian's work was of such a high caliber, he easily deserves a hundred death threats a day, minimum.

Only four?! The artwork alone should net you ten or fifteen a day, easily. Oh, well, keep up the good work, eventually you can make it to 30 a day like the big cartoonists.

Magus
06-23-2013, 10:41 PM
So Shredder is now a white guy (William Fichtner). I suppose that both simultaneously confirms that the character is actually Colonel Schrader and also puts the final nail in the coffin that is Michael Bay's Ninja Turtles.