Quotes 2

[froofmyster]

"I, Phil, Prince of Insufficient Light, darn you to heck!"
-Phil, Prince of Insufficient Light
Dilbert

"Nothing's immposible, not if you can immagine it!"

[Caska]

The business of the journalists is to destroy the truth, to lie outright, to pervert, to vilify, to fawn at the feet of mammon, and to sell his country and his race for his daily bread.

You know it and I know it, and what folly is this toasting an independent press?

We are the tools and vassals of rich men behind the scenes. We are the jumping jacks, they pull the strings and we dance. Our talents, our possibilities and our lives are all the property of other men. We are intellectual prostitutes."

--Jack Swinton, editor, New York Times

Just wanted to comment on this from the last thread.

Jack Swinton, whoever he is, is no journalist if that's his opinion. He's just some idiot who should not be writing for any respectable paper. Take it from Woodward and Bernstein. That's not what the press it about.

To be a little more on-topic, here's some more quotes:

"I can resist everything except temptation."
- Oscar Wilde

"The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit."
- Somerset Maugham

"Skill is successfully walking a tightrope over Niagara Falls. Intelligence is not trying."
- Anonymous

"Imagination is more important than knowledge."
- Einstein

[froofmyster]

"Imagination is more important than knowledge."
- Einstein
Love that one. :)

[GatoFiero]

Time for more quotes from my Army regs list!

3. Not allowed to threaten anyone with black magic.
4. Not allowed to challenge anyone's disbelief of black magic by asking for hair.
145. I should not drink three quarts of blue food coloring before a urine test.
146. Nor should I drink three quarts of red food coloring, and scream during the same.
152. The following items do not exist: Keys to the Drop Zone, A box of grid squares, blinker fluid, winter air for tires, canopy lights, or Chem-Light ® batteries.

[Jack of Spades]

"When angels fall from heaven they become angels."
-Vicious

"Even when judgement day is here people will cling to the hope tat thier money can save them.
-me

"I have mathematical proof women are evil. A girlfriend requires a lot of your time. so Woman = Time.
Now the old saying time equals money. Woman=Time=money
Now of course you know that money is the root of all evil.
Woman=Time=Money=(Evil^1/2)
Since all values are equal women are also the root of all evil."
-I forgot who

500 posts!! I do the dance of postage!!

[IHateMakingNames]

"I have mathematical proof women are evil. A girlfriend requires a lot of your time. so Woman = Time.
Now the old saying time equals money. Woman=Time=money
Now of course you know that money is the root of all evil.
Woman=Time=Money=(Evil^1/2)
Since all values are equal women are also the root of all evil."
-I forgot who

I think SithDarth said that.

[Joseph Pandora]

"Im gonna stick my hand so far down his gob Ill be able to rip the label off his underpants"- Lister, Red Dwarf

"Every word you say is another reason for me to kill you"- Ted

[Sithdarth]

I think SithDarth said that.

I've posted that before but I put a disclaimer that it wasn't actually mine. I have no idea where it came from though.

"Use of Discman as a projectile in a catapult will void warranty." Actual warning label (It may be slighted misquoted.)

"Caution contents may be hot."
I love this warning on the sides of the cup of hot coffe you just ordered, its even worse when its adevertised as piping hot coffe. Its not like you can't feel the heat through the cup or anything either.

[Dante]

"Over the centuries, mankind has tried many ways of combating the forces of evil...prayer, fasting, good works and so on. Up until Doom, no one seemed to have thought about the double-barrel shotgun. Eat leaden death, demon..."

"Mind you, the Elizabethans had so many words for the female genitals that it is quite hard to speak a sentence of modern English without inadvertently mentioning at least three of them."

"I think perhaps the most important problem is that we are trying to understand the fundamental workings of the universe via a language devised for telling one another when the best fruit is."

[Domon]

"Ill rip out yer wind pipe and beat ya to death with the tonsil end" - Lister, Red Dwarf

[BMHadoken]

CAN MIAMI SAVE ITSELF?

For those readers too stupid to figure out the answer, there also was this helpful hint:

A City Beset by Drugs and Violence
The overall impression created by the cover was: Sure Miami can save itself! And some day trained sheep will pilot the Concorde!

The story itself was more balanced, discussing the pluses as well as the minuses of life in South Florida, as follows:

* MINUSES: The area is rampant with violent crime and poverty and political extremism and drugs and corruption and ethnic hatred.

* PLUSES: Voodoo is legal.

-Dave Barry on a story in the New York times on Miami.

[The_Bear]

Church - "And then she ripped out his skull and beat him to death with it."
Tucker - "Wait a minute, that doesn't seem physically possible."
Church - "That's exactly what he said."
"THIS DOESN'T SEEM PHYCIALLY POSSILBLE!"...THUD

Red vs. Blue

[Joseph Pandora]

"Caboose how are you doing? You fallowing any of this?"
"I think so... that guy is really a robot and your his boyfreind which makes you... a gay robot."
"*sigh* Yes. I am a gay robot."

-Red vs Blue

[Mr. Wind-Up Bird]

"Internet debate exhausts me, and it's everywhere. If you looked at one side of a pointless argument as a zero and the other as a one, you could easily see the internet as it is: an unending stream of binary code stretching off monotonously into the horizon. We'll debate about Jesus, we'll debate about Bush, we'll debate about which Evil Dead movie left the other installments behind—the subject matter is irrelevant. What matters is the conviction that we've got it all figured out, and no effort should be spared to drag everyone else on the planet into the bright, unblinking dawn of our rightness."

- Jay Pinkerton

[Swift Wang]

"These rappers need Jesus, no they really need Oprah"-Murs

[BMHadoken]

New York Taxi Rules

1. Driver Speaks No English.

2. Driver Just Got Here Two Days Ago From Someplace Like Senegal.

3. Driver Hates You.

[TheZeroMan]

"The Disaster will touch you too."
-Ghengis Khan

[NachoManLance]

How to Leave the Planet

1. Phone NASA. Their phone number is (731)483-3111. Explain that it's very important that you get away as soon as possible.

2. If they do no cooperate, phone any friend you may have in the White House - (202)456-1414 - to have a word on your behalf with the guys at NASA.

3. If you don't have any friends at the White House, phone the Kremlin (ask the overseas operator for 0107-095-295-9051). They don't have any friends there either (at least, none to speak of), but they do seem to have a little influence, so you may as well try.

4. If that also fails, phone the Pope for guidance. His telephone number is 011-39-6-6982, and I gather his switchboard is infallible.

5. If all these attempts fail, flag down a passing flying saucer and explain that it's vitaly important you get away before your phone bill arrives.

~Douglas Adams