Episode 428: I Hate Wizards [Archive] - The Warring States of NPF

Darkmoon

06-12-2004, 02:51 AM

Having recently been reading some of R.A. Salvatore's Forgotten Realms books, that line reminds me of Morik the Rogue, and how he's fond of saying 'I hate wizards.'

But, it could be just a simple coincidence, seeing that it's not really a particularly unique phrase. But it still reminds me of the books, and considering Drizz'l is a parody of Drizzt, from the same series of books, it's not TOO far-fetched. =P

Back to the comic, it looks like we may be getting a Hadoken... Or maybe not, if Thief decides Red Mage and Fighter to be profitable yet. Or rocks will fall from the sky and kill everyone.

Something will probably end up stopping BM's hadoken, or send it veering off course, if that is indeed what he is going to cast.

NachoManLance

06-12-2004, 03:06 AM

It's strange to me why BM would spare Theif.....remember how he's on top of his Death List? But I guess if he had to choose, Theif would get the lesser amount of pain because of his equally evil thoughts with stealing everyone's money, even AFTER his father was returned from his illness. If thats not evil, then I don't know what is.

Maybe those Peeps cadies. They are never not evil....

Arckanghel

06-12-2004, 03:09 AM

Here's my prediction, Hadoken will do one of three things:
1.) Propel RM & Fighter to correct Volcano
2.) Propel BM and Thief to said Volcano
3.) (Most likely) The force will send the two parties of two flying apart from each other and they will be propeled to the correct Volcano

Or the hole through the center of the Earth, cause they are halfway around the world from the Volcano.

Jarlax

06-12-2004, 06:11 AM

Or the hole through the center of the Earth, cause they are halfway around the world from the Volcano.
Thats my guess.

Loyal

06-12-2004, 07:19 AM

Here's what I think:

1) BM will cast Hadoken.
2) RM will throw Fighter in front of him.
3) Fighter will block with his armor, and his tendancy to unwittingly thwart BM's attacks will... thwart BM's attack.

froofmyster

06-12-2004, 08:53 AM

Heh heh. Good ol' BM. Brian may just be getting back on track.

Loyal2NES,

1) Hell, yeah.
2) No doubt.
3) Damn straight.

Aerozord

06-12-2004, 10:00 AM

well knowing Brian he will have BM not fire at Fighter and RM because its too obvious.

TheCookieMomma

06-12-2004, 12:06 PM

see, I thought he took thief out there to HADDOKEN him, not RM and fighter.
Anyway. we'll have to see. Cuz Thief's the one who said "I don't like mages."
SARA

Static Hamster

06-12-2004, 01:00 PM

And RM is still waiting for theif to say "present company excluded"...

Dragonsbane

06-12-2004, 01:12 PM

but he said he knew that Thief wasn't going to say it.

Martyr

06-12-2004, 11:41 PM

That was funny. I was half expecting BM to do what he did, but I didn't really think it was going to happen. Then, I see that BM really is taking Thief far away so he could blast the other two... Well, frankly, that was hilarious.
That's what I love about this comic. It makes my face do things that it almost never does under normal circumstances. That is, smile.

Fifthfiend

06-13-2004, 12:04 AM

Well... since if BM were going to kill RM and Fighter, he'd probably want Thief dead too... and since if he'd wanted to kill Thief he wouldn't have dragged him out all that way...

At this point, since they're on the wrong end of the world from where they need to be... I'm guessing his plan is to blow a hole all the way through the center of the world, and just jump through.

Not exactly logical or anything, I'll grant... but it is Black Mage.

Dant

06-13-2004, 12:06 AM

I suppose Black Mage spared Thief because Thief isn't as stupid as Fighter and Red Mage (at least in BM's viewpoint) and because casting a Hadouken right into Thief's throat is forbidden by contract. He wouldn't want the law ninjas after him again, would he?

Sithdarth

06-13-2004, 12:40 AM

Neglecting the fact one would burn to cinders trying to travel through the earth; it is still impossible to travel that way. If one jumped into a hole through the earth he would accelerate until he hit the center then decelerate at the mouth of the other side. Just in time to start accelerating in the other direction. This pattern would continue forever. Thats neglecting air friction as well. Of course art isn't bound by the laws of nature so it could happen. I can't wait to see what happens though.

Kurosen

06-13-2004, 12:52 AM

An even more pressing issue with the Hole Through The World theory is the hole itself. If you did it all at once, as per a Hadoken, it would require such explosive force as to obliterate the world itself.

Even so, let us assume no additional harm comes to this world from blasting a giant hole through it. Perhaps it is made of sterner stuff. The world is still destroyed. Neglecting for the moment the importance of the core for such things as the magnetic field, the hole would collapse from the pressure/gravity. The entire globe would experience a catastropic earthquake.

And even if the world can survive that, then the world is still destroyed. Most of a planet's mass is from its core. If you take out the core, then the planet's orbit is going to go all wacky. Best case scenario, all life ceases to be.

So, yeah, we won't be doing that.

Fifthfiend

06-13-2004, 01:28 AM

Since when in the name of Black Belt's sense of direction being poor enough to tear a hole in space-time did you get all picky about the laws of physics?

Kurosen

06-13-2004, 01:57 AM

You've clearly never driven around Orlando. There is nothing farfetched about Black Belt.

Pretty Mary K

06-13-2004, 02:00 AM

Perhaps Black Mage's plan requires two people at two seperate points for some reason?

Plastic bag plastic bag plastic bag plastic bag

Fifthfiend

06-13-2004, 02:10 AM

So you're saying there's actually a Clevinger doppelganger from a timeline approximately one second ahead of our own out there somewhere inflicting Heaven knows what madness upon our world?

Oh Gods.

...

Incidentally, if we are in strict observance of the laws of gravity, such that rending holes through the core of a planet can be expected to have lasting repercussions, shouldn't this (http://www.nuklearpower.com/daily.php?date=040318) at the least have caused some serious environmental devastation?

Or is it just that Hell is actually relatively close to the surface in the 8-Bit world?

...which I suppose is metaphorically true, in any case.

Pretty Mary K

06-13-2004, 02:22 AM

I don't think that's a hole through the Earth so much as it's some magical, Hellish portal. I mean... hands don't just come up out of any old non-magic hole.

Arckanghel

06-13-2004, 02:28 AM

So now we're all picky about the world being round, and the structure of the sphere being pierced in through the center causing the collapse of the whole. But the now we know the 8-bit world is round right?

I like the Hadokening of thief the best now, he did insult wizards and it would be a perfect subtle gesture of BM to take him away and hurt him for his own evil pleasure.

Dragonsbane

06-13-2004, 02:35 AM

but why would he spare RM and Fighter?

The hole that Lich was dragged into was an interdimensional portal to hell, obviously...it didn't "rend the earth" because it didn't affect the earth.

Arckanghel

06-13-2004, 02:38 AM

Because they did not insult wizards.

Fifthfiend

06-13-2004, 02:38 AM

Didn't BM try to dig his way back, though?

Granted he lost a lot after being Hell-King, but I would think he'd at least retain the knowledge of Hell's general location.

...

Bah! Enough of this!

At forty minutes past three of the clock,ante-meridian, on the thirteenth of June in this Year of Our Lord 2004, I declare that your petty mortal logics and argumentations shall cease, and apply to me no more! For I am the Sovereign King of Pumpkin Pudding!

The time for talk is past! The time for non-sequitors is now!

Arckanghel

06-13-2004, 02:46 AM

He most certainly did try to dig his way back.
http://www.nuklearpower.com/daily.php?date=040327

Pretty Mary K

06-13-2004, 02:47 AM

Pay no attention to Dragonsbane. Hell isn't in another dimension! It's just real, real deep.

So deep, you need a portal to get there. There. Discussion over.

Dragonsbane

06-13-2004, 02:52 AM

Pretty Mary K

06-13-2004, 02:55 AM

I'm afraid all evidence points to Hell being underground.

YOU LOSE, PORKY

Dragonsbane

06-13-2004, 03:04 AM

I'm afraid all evidence points to Hell being underground.

YOU LOSE, PORKY

PORKY???!!! I'm actually closer to being skinny......hmph.

Klyco

06-13-2004, 03:05 AM

PORKY???!!! I'm actually closer to being skinny......hmph.

Hence the porky dorky

Pretty Mary K

06-13-2004, 03:11 AM

Actually, it was mostly because of your curly, pink tail and delicious, smoky taste, but now that you mention it, you are filling out a little.

Klyco

06-13-2004, 03:14 AM

Actually, it was mostly because of your curly, pink tail and delicious, smoky taste, but now that you mention it, you are filling out a little.

Burn baby burn. That was a burn right there

Dragonsbane

06-13-2004, 03:25 AM

well, at least I'm delicious.....:p

AzaggThoth

06-13-2004, 04:57 AM

"deep" as in "so deep, it's on another plane of existence"...

BM was trying to dig back because he was desperate, if he was thinking clearly he would have realized he couldn't beat Hell King Lich in a mortal form.

He WOULD know he would not win in a mortal form... He would die trying and then no longer be bound by his flesshy meats. Then he could win.

Arckanghel

06-13-2004, 05:35 AM

Exactly. That or the one thing I find true in life is that Stabbity death fixes everything.

GriffOfHollow

06-13-2004, 06:18 AM

You've clearly never driven around Orlando. There is nothing farfetched about Black Belt.
This has more truth in it than... -thinks, trying to find something that makes a lot of truth- Eh... truth.

Yuki

06-13-2004, 11:24 AM

Aerozord

06-13-2004, 11:59 AM

Why would BM be afraid of being sued anyways. I mean he already owes Thief everything how is getting sued any worse. Besides since Lich no new contracts were signed so I think he is still exept

Krylo

06-13-2004, 12:17 PM

...BM nullified the contracts while hell-formed. They no longer apply to him. He's not even a light warrior anymore: http://www.nuklearpower.com/daily.php?date=040415

He also no longer has a death list: http://www.nuklearpower.com/daily.php?date=040420

...I think he 'likes' thief, and is just shooting for some alone time.

Look... here he is trying to give Thief a hug:
http://www.nuklearpower.com/daily.php?date=030308

And here he is deciding to stay with the light warriors even though he hates them:
http://www.nuklearpower.com/daily.php?date=030308

And then he starts with planning to kill thief... then thief makes it easy for him, and he kills fighter instead:
http://www.nuklearpower.com/daily.php?date=030308 And now the BM fan boys shall attack. Let them come.

Arckanghel

06-13-2004, 01:03 PM

His Death List may be gone, but he said he has to Raze the Earth to make sure he doesn;t forget anyone. So now rather than attmept to destroy a few individuals he must destroy them all to get it done, so I don't think he is bereft of his ill will.

Krylo

06-13-2004, 01:08 PM

But then you aren't explaining why he'd take ONLY thief away. He also explained in that same comic that he has a memory like a thingy that let's water drain out of it while keeping back solids of appreciable size.

In other words, he was worried about forgetting that he was suppose to kill people... like thief.

Drece

06-13-2004, 01:55 PM

Blackmage brought theif there so he can blast a whole in the ground and go to the other side of the world but then fighter gets bored and tells redmage to come along. Fighter never shuts up and when redmage sees the whole he pushes fighter in there and fighter pulls him with it. The world dose not explode or colapse on its self because as we all know a wizard did it. :D This is the most reasnable thing that could happen in such a 8-bit world.
Also im new here just to say Hello all

Dragonsbane

06-13-2004, 02:59 PM

Saa... It makes sense. Not as if Thief --or-- BM are all that big on saving the world. BM probably figures that if at least half the LWs are gone, they wouldn't HAVE to go on weird quests and whatnot because it'd prove they weren't the LWs (As if that would work, poor BM). And why spare Thief? Why go against contracts? If BM nukes Thief, those royal elf nins will stealth sue.

BM freed himself from all mortal laws, rules, or contracts, remember?

Krylo, BM does not like Thief, he just hates Fighter much more than he hates Thief......especially since he isn't bound by the contract any more.

Lycanthrope

06-13-2004, 03:10 PM

Everyone is wrong, including me. BM is simply using hadoken for the sake of using hadoken.

Aerozord

06-13-2004, 03:18 PM

thats so obvious it makes sence.

Krylo

06-13-2004, 03:41 PM

Krylo, BM does not like Thief, he just hates Fighter much more than he hates Thief......especially since he isn't bound by the contract any more.But why would he take thief away when he could have just walked away without any of them, and wiped them all out?

IHateMakingNames

06-13-2004, 04:27 PM

BM repsects (For lack of a better word) Thief's evilness. They have often done evil things together (The dwarves was the most obvious one).

Fifthfiend

06-13-2004, 04:28 PM

He also explained in that same comic that he has a memory like a thingy that let's water drain out of it while keeping back solids of appreciable size.

I would think a goal as large as "kill people" could be considered to be a solid of appreciable size.

Actually, it was mostly because of your curly, pink tail and delicious, smoky taste, but now that you mention it, you are filling out a little.

I just want to say that Dragonsbane missed the opportunity to make a great joke which, though I will not go into specifics, certainly involved sausage in a not-insignificant capacity.

Dragonsbane

06-13-2004, 04:51 PM

I noticed that joke, made passing reference to it, and then promptly shut up.

Fifthfiend

06-13-2004, 06:43 PM

Incidentally, where's Kurosen at?

I still want to know about this Bizzaro-Clevinger he's let loose, and exactly how afraid we ought to be.

I noticed that joke, made passing reference to it, and then promptly shut up.

See, now where's the fun in that?

Dragonsbane

06-13-2004, 08:24 PM

Bizzaro-Clevinger? What?

Klyco

06-13-2004, 09:14 PM

Bizzaro-Clevinger? What?

Me too. What?

Fifthfiend

06-13-2004, 09:32 PM

The Clevinger from one second in the future let loose by the warping of space and time wrought by his driving through Orlando.

Jesus, people, keep track of a conversation, would you?

Klyco

06-13-2004, 09:40 PM

The Clevinger from one second in the future let loose by the warping of space and time wrought by his driving through Orlando.

Jesus, people, keep track of a conversation, would you?

Um, we dont spend every second of our lives reading every post when we come back from our LIVES.

Shiny Bunny Captain Socha

06-13-2004, 09:57 PM

LIVES? What's that? ...oh, that thing I don't have. :P

This was an interesting comic. I have no idea what to expect next, other than that we must be getting set up for something we don't expect.

Fifthfiend

06-13-2004, 10:28 PM

we dont spend every second of our lives reading every post when we come back from our LIVES.

I can see why you wouldn't want to bother, as it would just take up time you could otherwise spend making stupid comments.

Klyco

06-14-2004, 12:56 AM

I can see why you wouldn't want to bother, as it would just take up time you could otherwise spend making stupid comments.

Like the ones your making?

Arckanghel

06-14-2004, 01:36 AM

It's a good thing we're all friends here right?

I agree the Bizarro-Clevinger comment is still really odd and nonsensical.

SquirrelWizard

06-14-2004, 02:36 AM

LIVES? What's that? ...oh, that thing I don't have. :P

This was an interesting comic. I have no idea what to expect next, other than that we must be getting set up for something we don't expect.

Probably something that involves Black Mage blasting (or attempting to) Fighter, and Red Mage, but something random happens, and so they make it out alright, probably the volcano blowing up, and catapulting them across the continent.

Yuki

06-14-2004, 03:41 AM

Well there's that respect thing as well. And after he made it so he was free of all mortal rules and such, BM came back to life. BM may not be aware that Thief's contracts (the real one and the fakes) don't technically apply anymore, but even if Thief IS aware BM's no longer considered a LW, Thief isn't about to tell him now and risk being Hadokened, is he?

Dragonsbane

06-14-2004, 11:19 AM

BM is aware of his freedom from contracts, he's probably going to stab Thief, then Hadoken the other two...then skip merrily off into the sunset, happy as can be!