darkt0aster
07-27-2004, 10:16 AM
I stumbled across one of my old videogame magazines (Ultra Game Players, Issue 91, Dec 1996) and managed to find this editorial and thought I'd share it :D
"And that got me thinking... Why stop at just making a game where you race a piddling, little jet ski across the bounding main [Waverace 64]? A subject as vast as the ocean deserves a game of glorious grandeur, with epic themes, noble goals and lofty desires.
And then it hit me! How about Captain Caligula's Slave Galley Fun Race? Now here's a game that combines the button-mashing prowess of Olympic Games, the strategy of Final Fantasy, and all the bone-crushing action of Twisted Metal!
Imagine it! You start out as Rower 23 (outside) and the Emperor himself is yelling commands. 'RAMMING THPEED!’ he lisps, and you start furiously mashing the A and B buttons. Get your timing just right, and you'll be promoted to that dirty, smelly guy who pounds on the drums. Blow it, and the next thing you know, you're shiskebob on the front of a Thracian battle cruiser.
You could make the whole game even more realistic by hooking up your Interactor (http://www.vrealities.com/intervest.html) to your console, so when the overseer cracks you on the back with the cat-o'-nine-tails, you'd get the same stinging sensation! Talk about your thrills!
And for those gamers who like just a little bit of fantasy mixed in with their ocean-hopping happiness, you should choose the ‘Charleton Heston’ option from the menu screen. Imagine the thrill and chills you’d get by reliving Chuck’s role in ‘Ben Hur!” Why, you’d not only get to yell ‘Damn You!’ every couple of minutes (each curse counts for five bonus points), but, with the additional scenery disk, after winning the game, you could get to the bonus chariot race level and finish up by touring some of ancient Rome’s finest leper colonies! Joy!
Of course, the goal of the game is to finally command your very own slave galley, complete with all the stinking, hapless slaves and Praetorian guardsmen an Emperor could desire. Imagine the thrill of peering down into the filthy, lice-ridden hold and giving that immortal order: ‘Water skiing speed!’”
I'd buy it :D
This got me thinking of the now nonexistant section of PC gamer where people would write in ideas for games they'd want to play (genre, characters, settings, mechanics, etc) and would feature the best ones each month.
Has anyone else out there found or made an interesting pitch for a videogame? (no sequels allowed!)
"And that got me thinking... Why stop at just making a game where you race a piddling, little jet ski across the bounding main [Waverace 64]? A subject as vast as the ocean deserves a game of glorious grandeur, with epic themes, noble goals and lofty desires.
And then it hit me! How about Captain Caligula's Slave Galley Fun Race? Now here's a game that combines the button-mashing prowess of Olympic Games, the strategy of Final Fantasy, and all the bone-crushing action of Twisted Metal!
Imagine it! You start out as Rower 23 (outside) and the Emperor himself is yelling commands. 'RAMMING THPEED!’ he lisps, and you start furiously mashing the A and B buttons. Get your timing just right, and you'll be promoted to that dirty, smelly guy who pounds on the drums. Blow it, and the next thing you know, you're shiskebob on the front of a Thracian battle cruiser.
You could make the whole game even more realistic by hooking up your Interactor (http://www.vrealities.com/intervest.html) to your console, so when the overseer cracks you on the back with the cat-o'-nine-tails, you'd get the same stinging sensation! Talk about your thrills!
And for those gamers who like just a little bit of fantasy mixed in with their ocean-hopping happiness, you should choose the ‘Charleton Heston’ option from the menu screen. Imagine the thrill and chills you’d get by reliving Chuck’s role in ‘Ben Hur!” Why, you’d not only get to yell ‘Damn You!’ every couple of minutes (each curse counts for five bonus points), but, with the additional scenery disk, after winning the game, you could get to the bonus chariot race level and finish up by touring some of ancient Rome’s finest leper colonies! Joy!
Of course, the goal of the game is to finally command your very own slave galley, complete with all the stinking, hapless slaves and Praetorian guardsmen an Emperor could desire. Imagine the thrill of peering down into the filthy, lice-ridden hold and giving that immortal order: ‘Water skiing speed!’”
I'd buy it :D
This got me thinking of the now nonexistant section of PC gamer where people would write in ideas for games they'd want to play (genre, characters, settings, mechanics, etc) and would feature the best ones each month.
Has anyone else out there found or made an interesting pitch for a videogame? (no sequels allowed!)