NPF Island III - Wherein an epic quest begins for our heroes!

[Cloud Strife]

OOC: Also known as "NPF Island III - Wherein the play is completed, and free drinks are given out!"


IC: "Well, it looks like the play is almost over. WA seems to be really beating down on that dragon with the bowling ball." Cloud was getting anxious. He was finally about to see Aires again, after so long. "C'mon, finsih up already," Cloud said to himself. He then chuckled to himself as he saw RD entranced by the illusions of the three mages next to him. He pulled out a new materia, an orange one, and quietly put it into his bangle on his wrist. Then, with a wave of his hand, he quietly dispelled the illusions of the three mages. This ought to be good, Cloud thought to himself.

[Dragonsbane]

Dragonsbane grinned, waving one hand as well as he countered Cloud's spell. Spellcraft checks, neccessary for plot-foiling and epic level spellcasting...some skills are just that good. he smiled as he thought that, enjoying the petting, "It's a good idea...I'd like to go get something to drink after the play." he looked over at RD, "I do hope you come with me...a bit of company is always appreciated." he added, flashing a dazzling smile at her.

[Thaumaturge]

Thaumaturge felt magic being used behind him, and turned just in time to counter Cloud's spell. He turned back to RD as DB finished asking for her company.

"I too would appreciate the company of so lovely a lady," he added. "Perhaps, however, the bar would be too crowded. Why not accompany me for a walk on the beach after the play - the sea by moonlight is truly breathtaking."

[reality_deviant]

"Mmm-hmm..." RD replied a bit dreamily. "Yeah, a drink or three might be nice...bar, beach, whatever, it's all good...but then, we need to get our heads together about this plan. Cloud's counting on us. I think what I said will work, but other input would be greatly appreciated, since we're talking some big magic here. You don't wanna just mess around with that."

[Thaumaturge]

"Of course," assured Thaumaturge, "We will see to Cloud's problem, but first let us think about you... You are a far more pressing matter. Come with me, let us discuss what you need..."

[reality_deviant]

RD looked(yes, try to stretch your imaginations on this one) somewhat confused.

"I like it when people think about me...it's very flattering, you know...but, the quest and stuff...what could be more important than that? What do I need, Thaumaturge? Is there something you want to give me?"

[Thaumaturge]

"What do you desire?" crooned Thaumaturge with a crokked smile, "Merely ask... After all, your needs, your desires are far more important..."

[BlackMageGirl!]

(Unbeknowest of the three, BMG! was video taping the whole conversation) "Hee, this is getting interesting...." ^_^.

[slightly aboveaverage man]

Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale
a tale of a fateful trip,
that started from this tropic port,
aboard this tiny ship.
The mate was a mighty sailin' man,
the Skipper brave and sure,
five passengers set sail that day,
for a three hour tour,
a three hour tour.

The weather started getting rough,
the tiny ship was tossed.
If not for the courage of the fearless crew
the Minnow would be lost.
The Minnow would be lost.

The ship aground on the shore of this uncharted desert isle
with SAAM,
the SAAW too.
Slightly Aboveaverage Brit and his wife,
a slightly aboveaverage movie star,
the professor and Slightly Above Average Grape,
here on Nuklearpower Isle.

So this is the tale of our castaways,
there here for a long long time.
They'll have to make the best of things,
it's an uphill climb.
The first mate and his SAAW too
will do their very best,
to make the others comf'terble
in their tropic island nest.
No phone ,no lights, no motor car,
not a single luxury
like Robinson Crusoe
it's primitive as can be.
So join us here each week my friends,
you're sure to get a smile,
from seven stranded castaways
here on Nuklearpower Isle!

With the Gilligans island themesong playing in the background, SAAM and his mighty crew shipwreck themselves on the island; amid much screaming and swearing.

[Dragonsbane]

DB looked amused, raising one elegant eyebrow, "Thaumaturge is correct...but only to an extent, since we do have a friend in trouble. Nonetheless, I already formulated a bit of a plan, and you don't need to worry about it so much, Reality. We have plenty of time to talk....and I'd like to get to know better such an interesting girl." he smiled at her, dark eyes shimmering in the moonlight.

[Cloud Strife]

"Ok, you guys, enough of that. I know attempted exploitation when I see it, and I'm seeing it." Cloud stood up and went over to them. "So, I suggest you knock it off, before any scarring, emotional or otherwise, happens. RD, thanks for trying to steer their course. Ok, take off the illusions, guys, and I'll take you all up to the Highwind and give you all a tour."

[Dragonsbane]

"Well...normally, I would object to this sort of bossy behavior, but I understand your urgency, my friend." Dragonsbane rose smoothly to his feet, helping RD up with a slightly rueful, though nonetheless attractive, smile and a shrug. He didn't dispell the illusion, because there wasn't one...this was actually a transmutation, changing form instead of just appearance.

"Onward, we have people to save!" he added with a grin.

[reality_deviant]

RD was blushing furiously from all the attention, and cast Cloud a grateful smile for moving things along. "It's hard to say no to these guys..." she muttered under her breath.
Her eyes lingered on DB for a moment as she rose, fascinated by how he could be simultaneously alluring, and have spooky hamster eyes. Then she noticed BMG!

"Hey, BMG! We're gonna go on an adventure! And possibly to the bar. I hear an airship might also be involved. Wanna come?"

[WanderingActor]

WA bowed profusely as the play finished up. CT and he took a standing ovation. Afterwards, they went backstage to tear down the set. Literally. (ooc:That was a pun, to any other actors out there.)

[reality_deviant]

"Bravo! Yaaay! Good job, guys! Nice impromptu!" RD took this opportunity to throw two lovely bouquets of roses onto the rapidly-disappearing stage.

"Hey, if the show's over, I guess we could see if anybody else wants to come. What's the biggest group of people we can transport?"

[CheshireThief]

CheshireThief, leaving WA to tear down the set by himself, approached RD and smiled. "I'm sure I can make some arrangements for transporting people. Thank you for the flowers, by the way. They're quite lovely, indeed." He winked, allowing a sparkle of light to reflect out of his eye. He heard the shipwreck and laughed. "Looks like SAAM is here. I'll send the beacon..." With that, he pulled out his electric guitar, and a stack of amps appeared behind him. He showed off the device he used to make things like this happened. The gameboy-sized contraption was clearly labled "Plot Device." He then had a microphone appear in front of him, and he began playing and singing the Ballad of SAAM at deafening volumes, signaling his comrade to where he was.

[reality_deviant]

"His waa-aaa-aang!" RD sang along happily. You'd think that tune would get old, but, nope!
"Say, CT," reality_deviant began after he finished his mini-concert, "I can't help but notice that you are both a talented bard and currently in the posession of the fabled Plot Device. We're off on a noble quest to bring back Cloud's friend Aeris...you know, that whole thing...and I was wondering if you'd like to accompany us. Whaddya say?"

[CheshireThief]

Finishing the song, CheshireThief bowed and then turned to RD. "For you, I'd be happy to do anything." He shot her one of his grins again.

[reality_deviant]

OOC: Dear God, I love this forum.

IC: "Eeee! Yay! That's great! The whole team's coming together. Are we gonna jump straight into the adventure, or meet for drinks at the local tavern first? It is kind of an adventurers' tradition..."

RD was insanely happy, as she found herself recruiting a party RPG-style before embarking on an adventure with many gorgeous men. This sort of thing does not happen just every single day...

[slightly aboveaverage man]

It was at that moment that SAAM walked in, full after a mighty feast of Crew.

"Ah! Civilization!" He exclaimed, then patted his stomach. "Don't worry my friends, your sacrifice was not in vain!"

"Greetings!" he yelled as he entered. "My boat got shipwrecked on the other side of the island. My crew were mysteriously eaten after my dumbass first mate destroyed our coconut radio."

[MC43]

It was unfortinate, but the Yellow Mage slept through the rest of the play, and most of the other going ons too. Waking up, he pulled the robe away from his eyes and looked around, seeing no stage, and no people. "Well... this is great!" He jumped out from his port a box-seat and burned it using a simple FIRE spell. He looked around and wondered just what to do next. "Hm..."

[h4x.m4g3]

H4x.m4g3 rubbed his head furiously how to get rid of the effects. Technically all his *magic* were codes so despells wouldn't work. And the only way to undo a code was to use a code menu, but he left his at home thinking he wouldn't need to turn off any codes while he was here.

"I mean who turns off codes anyway" He sighed again trying to think of another method. He could always use the remove all codes code but he didn't want his other important codes to be turned off. He rubbed his brow again. Even changing forms wouldn't take off the illusion, just change his appearance to males from a tetris block to his normal self. He came up with one ideal he would have to put in the code till he past the system limitations and was reset to default.
*D, L, L, D, R, A, B, B, A.*
*D, L, L, D, R, A, B, B, A.*
*D, L, L, D, R, A, B, B, A.*
*D, L, L, D, R, A, B, B, A.*
*D, L, L, D, R, A, B, B, A.*
He waited... finally he turned back into his human form slightly more attractive still though. "Finally..." he says and fell backward turning back into his NES Controller form resting and waiting for someone to pick him up.

[Thaumaturge]

Thaumaturge sighed. It had been fun, but Cloud did have a point. He dispelled the illusion, returning to his normal self.

"Very well, then. If we're going on a quest, there's no need for me to be something other than myself. What's the plan?"

[Dragonsbane]

"Bar, drinks, Highwind, Afterlife, kill things, save the girl...when has an epic plan been anything else?" Dragonsbane replied with a grin.

[h4x.m4g3]

"An epic quest, afterlife, highwind, DRINKS, A BAR AND THE GIRL. Count me in" The h4x.m4g3 said looking up from the ground "Now could someone pick me up"

[Sithdarth]

Then in a style completely unique to him, Sithdarth appeared about 2 iinches above everyones head and landed with a thud in the sand right in front of the group. "You know I'm begining to think there is something strange about the island. But count me in for the adventure. I should be able to arrange near instant transport to anywhere. I even have ways of crossing dimnesional boundries if it comes to that." While talking he stood up and brushed himself off then handed RD's device back. "All fixed just it only has juice enough for one person at a time. Thus I will have to rely on other methods if we are taking a group."

[slightly aboveaverage man]

SAAM reached down and picked H4X up. "There you go old boy." he said as he hauled the man off the floor. "Now what's this I hear about alcoholic beverages and women of the female pursuasion?"

[Thaumaturge]

"Bar, drinks, Highwind, Afterlife, kill things, save the girl...when has an epic plan been anything else?" Dragonsbane replied with a grin.

Thaumaturge gave a joking wince. "Yes, but I was hoping for something rather more specific..."

He turned to Sithdarth. "Both Dragonsbane and I are capable of moving between the worlds, so we should be able to help with transportation concerns."

[Dragonsbane]

Dragonsbane nodded, "I can open a Gate...but we're taking the Highwind, too. SAAM, H4x, sorry to dissapoint you, but the girl is already taken." he shrugged, smiling slightly, "Thaumaturge...the best plans are made once we know exactly what we're dealing with. Until then, all we have is an outline."

[reality_deviant]

RD patted Thaumaturge's hand. "It's okay, Thaum...you're more cute and cartoony this way."

The young woman began to pace back and forth as she tried to formulate a plan.

"SithDarth, I know you've had mixed success with experiments of this nature, but what if we were to attach this device to the Highwind, and feed our magical energy into it? I would say it's doomed to failure, EXCEPT that I always have a few focusing crystals with me. Never know when you might need a little more focus...anyway, I was able to use the device as a crude sort of amplifier for my ability to track magickal energy, so maybe we could re-calibrate it to track, y'know, PURE energy. Like holy-pure. I'm sure Cloud will testify there's no one else quite like Aeris anywhere, so it could make our task a lot simpler. That, and the limited teleportation powers might be strengthened enough to move the whole ship between worlds, so there's less risk of us getting separated, and I definitely do not want to leave someone stranded in an alternate dimension, and just think how wicked cool it would be to have a dimension-hopping airship! Anyway, I think we can do it, especially with the aid of the Plot Device," At this she beamed happily at CT, "and all our 1337 m4g3 sk1llz."

"Whoo, that was a mouthful. Anyway, whatever the case, it's getting late, and that's a plan for tomorrow. Is there a hotel or something here? Is it expensive? Is it maybe attatched to this bar I keep hearing about? What are, ah," She made a conscious effort to avert her gaze from CT and DB, which was, as usual, a little more obvious than she'd intended, "Everyone's plans for the night?"

[slightly aboveaverage man]

"Uh..." SAAM offered. "I have a shipwrecked boat. It's not much but it's shelter and I have a 24 in the back."

[Dragonsbane]

"Or you could just find some item that belonged to Aeris, give it to me, and I'll use it to track her..." Dragonsbane smiled at her, still in his altered form, "I have no immediate plans beyond buying you a drink, Reality. I do have a palace on my private Demi-plane, fairly easy to access with a bit of magic." he smiled, chivalrously offering her his arm as he decided to go to the bar next.

[Thaumaturge]

Thaumaturge looked down and shuffled his feet at the compliment, then nodded is approval of the plan.

"As to a hotel, I'm not sure if there is one here, but I could always cast Rope Trick for you, and I can provide blankets and pillows for you to sleep on in the pocket dimension. Just call me if you want me to cast it for you. I don't think that I'll be joining you in the bar - bars aren't really my sort of place."

[Sithdarth]

"That very well may work but I would suggest some sort of shielding for all involved. As you may or may not know that small crater it the woods was from my arrivial on the island which was do to a little expirmentation in magic augmentation of technology. But yes a drink sounds nice although it may be safer if I just walk from now on." He then rummaged through his robes and pulled out a small device. The screen flared to life and a little arrow could be seen pointing of in a seemingly random direction. "As I suspected," he stated half to himself, "The best drinks on the island are that way. It's either that or a tar pit."

[Dragonsbane]

Dragonsbane chuckled, his powerful, melodious voice making it sound friendly, "Sithdarth, my friend, the drinks are at the bar, and the bar is in the hotel. Are you coming, or not?"

[Cloud Strife]

Looking over to Thaumaturge, Cloud said, "Well then. Thaum, it looks like you and I are going to be the designated helper people tonight." Turning to DB, he stated, "DB, I'm sorry, but I really have to ask you to go back to you. You look a lot like Sephiroth right now, and that is not a good thing. So, please, change back."

[reality_deviant]

"Aww, no Thaum? Is it all the smoke and noise and stuff? Hey, maybe if rooms are too expensive, we can all pitch in and get a couple adjoining rooms, and we can just bring the drinks back there. It'll be all the fun of a slumber party, plus booze! Plus, it'll be a good bonding experience for our party. SAAM, you seem to have some experience maning a ship, maybe you could help us steer? SithDarth, what level of shielding would you recommend? Is there maybe, I know it's crazy, like, a mech facility somewhere around here? Maybe we could outfit it with something from there. h4x could help., but all of this is only with Cloud's permission, of course. C'mon, let's walk and talk."

Sliding one arm around CT's waist, and the other around DB's, reality_deviant thought, "Ohhhh, yeahhh. I am so pimpin'..."

[Dragonsbane]

OOC: This is so much fun...

IC: Dragonsbane chuckled, "technically, 'Sephiroth hair' isn't exactly the same thing...mine is a bit longer, smoother, and not silver." He heard RD's question, and his long, pointed, elflike ears wiggled adorably as he considered, "I have a mech...but I can't exactly remove the shielding generator. If Thaumaturge, Sithdarth, and I had access to some of the right materia, we could probably make a shield. Thau and I would handle the magical aspects, and Sithdarth can deal with the technological issues."

[Flarecobra]

Just then, over hidden speakers, a message was heard: "Happy Hour is now starting at the bar. All drinks discounted 75%!"

[slightly aboveaverage man]

All the logic centers in SAAM's brain immediatelly shut down. He began a desperate and feral run for the nearest alcohol distribution center.

[Thaumaturge]

Aww, no Thaum? Is it all the smoke and noise and stuff?

"That, and since I don't drink I get a little uncomfortable around those who are drinking. Well, I do drink, but I don't drink drink. Alcohol, that is." He smiled. "Don't mind me. You guys go ahead, and I'll amuse myself out here. The night is young, and I would like to enjoy it for a bit."

[Flarecobra]

Cobra looks over when she hears a loud BANG!, almost as if someone ran headlong into the closed door.

[slightly aboveaverage man]

"Can somebody please turn the knob?" SAAM's muffled voice came through the door. "I really would like to come in, but my lips are caught in the eye-hole."

[Flarecobra]

(OOC) *cracks up laughing*

Getting up and opening up the door, she said "I don't even want to know."

[slightly aboveaverage man]

Prying his swolen flesh from the tiny hole, SAAM entered the Bar. He scoped out a good seat by the Bartender and sat himself down on a sticky, yet clean stool.

"I'll have a Scotch on the Rocks please. And make it straight up."

He turned to Cobra. "Thank you, by the way. That was a most upleasant experience. Do you own this bar? Or do you just come here often?"

He may have seemed more charming if his lips weren't swollen to the size of Angelina Jolie's on Botox.

[Squishy Cheeks]

Stands in front of my Coffee shop / Bar, Jad's House of Mirth and Madness

Goes inside and stands behind the bar.

[Flarecobra]

"No, a Mr. BC owns this place. I just work here sometimes." Cobra said, returning to her Dr Pepper, and hiding the picture she was looking at in her pocket.

[slightly aboveaverage man]

"I see," SAAM replied. "I used to work at a bar before. That was my first job as a SAAB. I was a Slightly Above Average Bouncer. Hows the pay here? Decent or no?"

SAAM absently noted the picture; and decided to ask about it later. After all, he didn't want to pry.

[Sithdarth]

"Hmm yes, We may be able to cob something together with my knowledge of a few aracane arts and high technology. Well I'm off to work this out. I would just use my standard shield spell but I'm not so sure of how many times I can cast it." With that he began to search for a quite place to research via is instant neural link to the internet.

[Squishy Cheeks]

Turns on the Wifi in the "House of Mirth and Madness"

[WanderingActor]

Wandering Actor stood in the gap where his stage once sat, clothed in a pair of blue jeans with a white button up shirt untucked and almost completely unbuttoned. He pulled a pair of orange lensed sunglasses out of his pocket and slid them on with a flourish. He then noticed everyone walking away and waved his arms in comic anger.
"HEY! DID EVERYONE FORGET ABOUT ME?"
A sweatdrop appears on his head.

[h4x.m4g3]

h4x.m4g3 the contoroller wiggled his way out of SAAM's pocket "owwwww" With a tug he yanked the rest of his cable out of SAAM's pocket and quickly put in a money code.
*D D D D R R L A B*
before turning back into his human form and walking out to try to find the others SAAM had left behind in the rush while being glad for the tembporary invincibility that comes after being hit and only losing one life from the door incident. "owwwww"

[reality_deviant]

"Oh! Wandering Actor, why don't ya wander on over here with us?" RD waved him over. "We're going on an adventure, and we could use some plucky comedy relie-I mean, an actor of your grace and stature. But first, liquid refreshment."

She looked first at SithDarth, who was strangely muttering something about "404 not found", and the ever-apologetic Thaumaturge.

"You guys aren't coming? That's okay, I guess. I wouldn't want to make you do something you don't like. Will we see you later? I sure hope so. Have fun!"

RD breathed in deeply, enjoying the night air and good company. Friends and music and magic and adventure...what else could you really want in life?

[Dragonsbane]

Dragonsbane laughed, calling out to the bemused actor, "Yes, we're heading to the bar for some drinks! Hurry up, or we won't leave any for you!" he smiled down at RD, putting an arm around her shoulders as they walked towards the bar.

[Squishy Cheeks]

ooc: which bar?

[slightly aboveaverage man]

"Oh, right." SAAM said absentmindedly. "I forgot that my pocket puts you quite close to the SAAW. You really don't wanna get beat with that."

Turning his attention back to Cobra. "I hope I'm not being to forward but our two cultures may be a tad different. How do I put this subtly."

He considered a moment, then looked back up. "Okay... Wanna shag?"

[Dragonsbane]

OOC: The bar Flarecobra is in, JAD.

SAAM....if I die of laughter, I'm blaming YOU! *laughing*

[slightly aboveaverage man]

Ooc: Screw your subtlty and smiles, I get to the point. :D

[reality_deviant]

RD cuddled happily against DB as he put his arm around her; though the black robes and odd mannerisms did support the common theory that he was evil...well, you never know unless you give someone a chance, right?

"Hey...Is this the bar? What happened to the door? It's got a huge dent in it. But, it's a really nice dent. I'd say it looks Slightly Above Average..."

She glanced back and forth at the entourage, grinning at them. "So, what drinks am I buying for you handsome fellas?"

[CheshireThief]

CheshireThief smiled. "The drinks are on me. I am, after all, a bard. And if there's one thing bards are good at...." He shot her a wink and a grin. "Well.... that and getting free drinks..." He nodded over to SAAM. "Hey hey, good buddy."

[reality_deviant]

*swooooon*

"Oh, waow...uh, okay...recovery...here we go..."

[Dragonsbane]

Dragonsbane grinned, "Hmph...I already promised to buy the drinks, CT. You can buy them next time! The other talent you were referring to is 'singing', by the way." he held the door open for the others, RD still cuddled against him. Sneakily, he reached over and tickled her, "However....you do know what they say about spellcasters..." he added with a wink.

[Squishy Cheeks]

Jad takes out a bottle of cotch and pours himself a shot. He then drinks the shot and pours another.

[CheshireThief]

CheshireThief laughs. To retort to DB, he responds, "That they abuse their gift of magic to cover up other 'shortcomings'? And yes.... 'singing' may have been exactly what I mean. That and... well... I 'm sure you know..." He winks again.

[Dragonsbane]

"No...that they don't need to." he smirked, "High 'charisma' can be possessed by classes other than bards, my friend. Now, if anyone else had said something like that...they wouldn't be living anymore."

[CheshireThief]

CheshireThief laughed and patted DB on the back. "Just remember that my 'charisma' gets a +16 bonus. And nobody can withstand the charm of a bard." He signaled to the bartender. "Free drinks for all of us, eh?" He flashed another one of his smiles.

[h4x.m4g3]

h4x.m4g3 sat on the roof tending to his wounds, how he got on the roof is a long and interesting tale involving himself, a dragon, a lion, a snake, a giant robot a dozen hookers, and a monk with a sick sense of humor. A wild tale of adventure, love, betrayal, and death all covered in a thick slab of humor. However the details of said journey shall not be divulged here.

He sighed laying back "How do I get myself into these situations... that one cost me 3 lives." He sighed again mentally tallying his number of remaining lives in his head

"6" he breathed out closing his eyes and resting.

[Squishy Cheeks]

Jad has now brought out the beer bong and is chugging whisky

[slightly aboveaverage man]

SAAM rolled his eyes at CT and DB's posturing. "Excuse me a moment." he told Cobra. "I think someone needs to be taken down a peg or two."

Ooc: Fuck Subtlty.

Ic: SAAM walked over to the two of them and folded his arms over his chest.

"Oh yeah, well I have a large penis. Beat that! And considering that you all are offering to buy, why don't I just hand you my tab!" he handed the bill over to DB and then danced a jig before sitting back down beside Cobra.

[Flarecobra]

"To your question, I only have one responce." Cobra said, then punched SAAM right in the face. "Pervert." she said, picking up her drink and moving to another table.

[Dragonsbane]

Dragonsbane raised an eyebrow, seeing SAAM get punched, "I think we should be learning some sort of lesson from this..."

[slightly aboveaverage man]

SAAM didn't think his lips could get any more swollen. He was wrong. He now looked like Angelina Jolie and Mick Jagger had a kid.

"mmmmokay, mat mreallly hmurt." He mumbled, but shrugged it off and walked over to DB, noticing his long sepharothian Hair.

"Hmey!" he said. "Mwanna Shmag?"

[Flarecobra]

Cobra did a halfway decient job of hiding her laugh, though a little bit at the start did come out. Talking out a camera, she thought to herself <This is going to be good.>

[Dragonsbane]

Dragonsbane's eyes narrowed, "That couldn't have been what I think it was...but it's best to be on the safe side."

With that, he thwacked SAAM repeatedly in the head with his staff.

[slightly aboveaverage man]

SAAM Winced at the oncoming blows.

"Mwhat? Mit's thma Smandard gmeeting inm mmmy counmtry." He rubbed his oversized lips. "Hmow do myou thmink myou wmould mlike mit mif myou gmot pmunched mevery tmime myou smaid 'Hmello!'"

[Sithdarth]

Sithdarth finally found he best place to connect to the internet. It was on a bench three feet to the left of the bar door. Seating himself he turned inward and began his research in ernest. He quickly formulated a plan for an unbreakable shield that would take the minium of effort. He of course would make sure to keep the plans to himself, they might come in handy some day. Then standing back up he went to the front of the bar door and noticed the commotion going on inside. Seeing his chance to act he mind tricked RD into disliking the those currently around her, for a short but still significant amount of time.

ooc: The latent Jedi powers awaken. Who knows what wil happen next.

[Flarecobra]

After snapping a couple of pictures of SAAM, Cobra downed the last of her drink and thought to herself <Well, now if I even need anything from him.....> On her way out, she noticed SithDarth doing...something. "What'cha doing?" she asked?

[Dragonsbane]

OOC: Sith, that's semi-godmoding...RD probably has a very high Will save.

:p

IC: Dragonsbane finished rendering SAAM unconscious, then waved to Flarecobra, "Oh, hello there..." he smiled.

[CheshireThief]

OOC: Not even Jedi tricks can counter the Bard-y goodness!

IC: Seeing a sudden change in RD's expression, CT realized someone was doing some kind of mind trick. Not knowing the reasoning behind it or even who was doing it, CT didn't care. Time to counteract that... He looked at RD and before she could say or do anything, he shot her another one of his smiles. "I'm glad you offered to take me on your quest. I can assure you, there's nobody else Dragonsbane and I would rather be helping, eh buddy?" With that, he shot DB a wink, letting him know to play along.

[Flarecobra]

(OOC) Not to mention I went and distracted him, Oh, and I'm not in the bar right now DB.

[slightly aboveaverage man]

"MAAAAARG!" SAAM Drawled. "MY could Muse smome Hmelp! My've Tmapped mout in thma smumbmission of mlife."

He then began to inch towards the door. "I'll bmwee mwight bwack. My hmaf tmo get my mwips dwaimed."

[Flarecobra]

(OOC) Um, translation please?

[slightly aboveaverage man]

"Arrrrrg! I could use some help! I've tapped out in the submission of life. I'll be right back, I have to get my lips drained."

[Sithdarth]

ooc: Sorry terrible wording but I'm rather tired. That was ment to be a description of what was supposed to happen not what did. I just forgot the qualifier. In short *amnesia dust*. I wonder how much will she really has because she seems to be having a hard time with the pretty boys. A question that must be answered.

ic: Seeing and hearing Flarecobra's arrival Sithdarth turned inflicting his attempted mind trick on the departing SAAM instead. "Just playing a little joke..." he began when he had realized his recent error and hoped that whoever he had just hit had high will power or was realtively weak.

[Flarecobra]

"Ok. Have fun." Cobra said, and headed off to her room, but when she noticed how bad SAAM looked, she decided to be nice to him, and did a quick Cure-2 on him.

[slightly aboveaverage man]

SAAM's lips shrunk considerably. "Woah!" he said. "They're normal again!" He grabbed his ass. "and my Hemerrhoids are gone!"

EXP: +20
LEVEL UP SAAM
Level 50 HP max: 999
Str up
Vit up
Int up
Agi up
Luck up

*FF1 victory music*

"wow!" SAAM then proceeds to say. "I feel a lot better now! Thanks Cobra, for that you get a Shag!"

before Cobra could beat him again, SAAM produced a beautiful carpet sample of Shag Carpeting.

[Flarecobra]

Cobra just gave him a look, then walked off to her room.

[Cloud Strife]

Cloud turned to Thaumaturge. "Well, since we seem to not be the partygoing types, what say I give you a tour of the Highwind. I can also show you the new type of Materia I've found." Cloud turned to go to the Highwind, then stopped for a moment. "That's funny, I could've sworn I heard a rustic form of FF victory music. Oh, well."

EDIT: OOC: YOu know, after reading Flarecobra's sig, I just realized something. DB is currently a long-haired prettyboy. Hmm....

[Dragonsbane]

OOC: Yeah, but Sephiroth is also a long-haired prettyboy...and Flarecobra's sig mentions finding the right long-haired prettyboy.

IC: "He's absolutely right..." Dragonsbane nodded, agreeing with his bardic friend, "Escorting such a lovely maiden is truly the highlight of our respective evenings!" he also flashed a dazzling smile at RD.

[Thaumaturge]

Thaumaturge nodded to Cloud. "That would be an excellent idea. Would you lead the way? And new materia, you say... I'm intrigued..." The victory music carried across the night air. "Hmm... you're right. Someone just leveled up"

[Squishy Cheeks]

Jad passes out drunk.

[reality_deviant]

RD felt a familiar twinge, somewhere inside her mind. One of those Technomages is trying to get inside my head, she observed with interest. The magickal resonance is far too static to belong to a more traditional caster, or a wild talent.

She casually studied the bard and the mage to either side of her, quite entertained by their carrying on. They must've sensed it, too, I guess...I s'pose I'm just lucky it's not one of these guys...I'm not sure I would've fought it off nearly as well.

"Okay, well, what's good here? I'm thinking Captain & coke for starters...what're you two dashing gents having, hmm? And...did the bartender just pass out? That's...possibly not a good sign."

[slightly aboveaverage man]

SAAM walked over to Thaum as he attempted to manipulate the thoughts of others. "What, do you think you're some sort of Jedi, waving your hands like that? I'm a Slightly Above Average Man, mind tricks don't work on me."

He paused for a moment and considered. "Wait. How well does it work on the ladies though? I'd consider learning it myself."

[Thaumaturge]

Thaumaturge looked at SAAM in confusion. "Err... I'm not doing anything to anyone's thoughts; it's not the sort of magic that I ususally use. Cloud was just about to give me a tour of the Highwind..."

[Cloud Strife]

OOC: SAAM, Thaum and I are outside, where the play took place. Niether one of us ever went to the bar. That being said, it seems you travelled a ways rather quickly. We'll just go with it.

IC: "Actually, yes, I was about to give him a tour of the Highwind. Would you like to come along, SAAM?" As they turned towards the Highwind, Cloud whispered to Thaumaturge, "I'll just show the new materia to you later, Thaum."

[slightly aboveaverage man]

"Why not." SAAM replied. "There doesn't seem to be much else to do now."

SAAM followed them, planing on getting a better idea of his surroundings.

[Flarecobra]

A couple of hours later, at about midnight, Cobra's phone rang. Answering it, she went from being 99% asleep to 100% awake in about a second "What!? Ok, I'll see if I can't round up some people. Just try to delay them for a bit!" with that, she quickly changed into a flight suit, and ran out in search of the others.

After a few minutes, she found some. "Bad news. We've got a ton of invading spammers incoming. Could I ask for your help in defeating them?"

[Inbred Chocobo]

Suddenly a stream of spam started heading straight for the bar, reading:

U sux, U guyz nedz 2 go hmoe adn screwz urselfz lol lol lol. F7F suxed cuz Cuold waz a cry beby. Bill Gatez Wantz to rulz teh world Tahtz y xbozx suxz. I hatz haxers on countre stike wear cna i get haxs for countre stike so i cna kil thsoe noobs. im new to teh hole haxer thing lol lol lol. soemone hepl me otu?

[h4x.m4g3]

The words echoed in his mind over and over again, a language he had not heard since he joined along side those known as "The Nuklearpower Forumers." His native tounge, 1337, but instead of warming his heart as it would have long before, a deep sensation of hatred was formed, a burning rage bubling out from deep inside, he needed to do but three things to prepare.
*U U U U U L R L R L A B L B*
*R R R B L B L U D A A D R A*
*R U A B A D D A D*
He knew it worked, even though he had never needed to resort to such things, even though he still didn't require them the hatred won out over reason, he had to use his skills against enemies who longed for them.
"All items, infinite ammo, god mode." he said to himself in a cold voice as he stood up on the rooftop and flew, his newly aquired jetpack kicking in, toward the horde of spammers and their dark weapon spam. Unloading chainguns, rocket launches, plasma rifles, fragmentation grenades, and everything else, and he had everything at his disposal. He landed and stood on the ground surrouned by the bodies of his enemies dual pistols armed before shooting those who moved again.

He lifted his head basking in the moonlight before taking flight into the swarm of the rest of them. "Damn you, damn you all to hell."

[Dragonsbane]

Dragonsbane was about to order a drink, when something, a sense of utter and impending wrongness, grated across his brain.

"Spammers..." his eyes narrowed, "Reality, Cheshire, something horrible is comming. I have a spell to battle them, but it may be dangerous. The two of you may prefer not to go into battle against them, if so, I suggest you remain here."

[WanderingActor]

OOC: I feel sorry for RD. This is what we could call a sausage fest.

Wandering Actor showed up fashionably late, as usual.
"Ah, a good drink is just what I could use now after a succesfull sh-"
He stopped as his actor's sense went haywire and an immense sense of wrongness threatend his mental status. To recover and combat it, he quickly adopted a meditating stance and began to hover five feet in the air, eyes closed, totally blocked from the world and the attack.

[Dragonsbane]

OOC: Yes...if CT makes ONE MORE innuendo-filled joke, I'll tie his tail in a knot...

IC: Dragonsbane blinked with faint surprise as he saw Actor meditating, then snapped his fingers. His staff and katana appeared in his hands, "They're coming..."

[Sithdarth]

Sithdarth felt the ripples in the living force, which was strange since he had no ideal what the living force was. He reflexively reached for his newest invention. It was some sort of sword with a blade made of energy. Then leaping into the air, much higher than he thought possible, he landed on the roof of a nearby building and started dismembering the incoming spammers and their annoying weapons. This was going to be a long fight.

[Cloud Strife]

Cloud was in the middle of giving Thaumaturge and SAAM the grand tour of the Highwind, when one of the crew told him of the immense number of spammers coming this way. Turning to Cid, he told him, almost matter-of-factly, "You can take care of this." Cid, smiling, turned to the crew.
"Helmsman!"
"Sir!"
"OPEN FIRE!!!"
Dozens upon dozens of rockets were launched from the Highwind. With a look of satisfaction on his face, Cloud turned and continued the tour as if nothing had happened. "Over here is the-are you guys coming, or not?" Cloud asked SAAM and Thaumaturge.

[slightly aboveaverage man]

SAAM held up a finger in a "one moment please" gesture. He ran away, and after much banging and sawing, came back with a large cage, a piece of Rope, and a sign.
Setting it up, he hammered the sign in; it read:

"1337 5p33k3r5 g37 fr33 k00k135 h3r3!!!!1111oneone"

Suddenly, swarms of spammers flocked to the sign and waited impatiently, spewing out unintelligable babble quite loudly. As the majority of them approached, the cage dropped, capturing them and exhiling them to perminent Bannination.

"Okay," SAAM said. "Now we can go."

[reality_deviant]

RD concentrated on the tiny molecules of the air, and channeled just a bit of energy into them, shaping them, solidifying them, into...a giant net.

"Here, let's catch a few before this wave is destroyed. If we can get them to stop being spammers, and release them back into their colony, maybe they'll neutralize the threat from within. Like a virus, but, good. I don't know if they'll listen to reason, but I don't think it would be entirely unreasonable to suspect that a few of us here might have access to Mind magick, eh?

RD grinned and headed outside, swinging her net. "I was a pro at bug-catching when I was a kid...I think this might be even more enjoyable."

[Dragonsbane]

Dragonsbane closed his eyes, opening himself to the power of the Weave as he chanted his spell. Standing on top of the building with the bar, he had a fine view of the Spammers below. RD had left at the same time he had, but he had immediately Teleported himself up here...where he could make this spell work.


Magic flowed through him, and he felt something approaching...a presence that embodied the force he was channeling.

One metamagicked spell, Holy Mystra? his thoughts echoed through the Weave...and the presence heard.

Granted.

Dragonsbane grinned, feeling the Meteor Swarm he had prepared earlier change...altered in his mind as the metamagic affected it, "Intensified spell, perfect..."

Great orbs of flame erupted from his fingertips, orbiting him as he picked the best targets, "Time for some serious flaming..." Explosions rocked the building as the fireballs slammed into the masses of spammers, his voice rising above the chaos as he shaped the spell to avoid his friends. Another quick incantation, and several were immobilized...

Not all were destroyed, but a good number of the spammers had been reduced to smoldering ash. It was overkill, but spammers are often to stupid to die otherwise.

Leaping back down, he landed agilely beside RD...his cloak spreading like wings to keep him from being harmed by the impact.

"You asked for captured spammers, lady Reality?" he grinned, bowing as he indicated the ones he had immobilized with his spell.

[Thaumaturge]

Thaumaturge watched Cloud and SAAM taking care of the spammers, musing on whether his help was needed. He looked out at the spammers. The other two seemed to have it more or less under control, but nevertheless... he casted a spell, sending a group of wisps after the spammers, herding them with little zaps of sarcasm back to their point of origin.

"Hopefully that's the last that we'll see of them," he said. "Now, where were we?"

[Flarecobra]

Sadly, that was only the first wave. On the horizon, barely visable through the smoke of destroyed fighter-drone wreakage, a fleet of transports were coming on. "Ok, I think simple spells isn't enough for this. You know, I do have a couple of Mechs in storage. That may take care of them. Anyone want to help out?"

[Inbred Chocobo]

Hearing a great thundering sound from the back of the island, our heros turn and look upon what seems like hundreds of spam ships. The foremost of these ships have already starting the spam-bombing of the island. They were using the worst of the spam, the l33t bombs. It would only be a matter of hours before the island would be spammed to devistation.

[Cloud Strife]

"Damn! They're using the 1337 (shudder) bombs." Cloud pulled out his cell, and dialed in a number. "Hello? Sithdarth? Remember that Unbreakable Shield you were working on? Well, now would be a good time to put it to use!!!"

[h4x.m4g3]

h4x flew straight toward the new brigade of his breathern before he noticed something. His god mode wasn't working... his clothing was singed and torn yet he remained unaffected. *Of course my 1337 origins make me immune to 1337 attacks* He flew off again switching from rocket packs to dark angel wings. There was only one way he could stop them.

"1 4l\/l 7}-{3 h4x.m4g3 t3h 0n3 j00 w4n7." he said stopping in front of the ship and staring into the cockpit. He could see the reaction immeadiately the startled expression on his face. He could hear him from inside "0MG 1 (4U6}-{7 }-{1M. 0P3N B4Y D00R$" The doors opened near the front and two spamming lutenants came out to escort him aboard. The ships turned around and began to fly off into the sky, its target in being observed on the bridge.

"At least they'll leave the island alone now" he muttered.

[Dragonsbane]

"They have taken a friend of mine...and they shall pay for it." hearing Flarecobra's plan, he nodded, "I'm taking a 'mech and going after them...if you're with me, hurry."

Not stopping to see who followed, he headed for the mech hangar.

Dragonsbane got into his Anubis mech, speaking into the commlink, "So...what's our plan of attack, Flarecobra?"

[Inbred Chocobo]

The spam lutenants dragged h4x.m4g3 to a special spam relocater, which then teleported him to a new ship, one much grander than ever imagined. Then they escorted him to a grand hallway and then finally to a giant room, which reesembled a throne room of sorts. At the other end seemed to be a throne looking out over the fleet of spam ships. The lutenants shouted something of such spam that even h4x.m4g3 couldn't understand. Then the throne spun around revieling a chocobo of sorts (Its me hehe). Immediately after spinning around the chocobo shouted "F1na13 f0nd u h4x.m4g3, 4 ur 0wn s4ft3 w3 su993st u c0p3r413"

[h4x.m4g3]

"7311 l\/l3 j002 p14l\l" h4x said giving the chocobo the coldest stare he had. In the back of his mind he was checking his inventory and spell list. If they won't leave the island alone, I'll take them all out* He found the item he was looking for and continued to stare at the chocobo. "1 4l\/l 3><p321l\l7 h4 (0l)3l\l4lVl3l) x 73$7 m4 $l_ll3J3(7 g3." revealing the origins of his name h4-x-m4-g3 or h4x.m4g3.

The memories of his creation came back to his mind the sudden birth, no creation that would be the proper term. Simply coming into exsistence full grown full made, composed completely of peices of the internet, video games and other electronically stored data. It gave him his power, and first thrust him into the spammer army. For a full year he had served them, and for a full year they had never had any success in recreating the experiment. And then they sent him here, the one area no spammer had ever successfully infiltrated. Intrigued by this new place he had settled, and became a member of society here, leaving his spammer roots behind forever, or so he thought.

*I won't let them hurt my new friends*

[Inbred Chocobo]

\/\/3 5[-]411 7u1 2 13[-] 7[-]453. The Chocobo says, reilizing that this new time of spam that hasn't been fully developed yet is making it hard for both of them, he decides its best to speak regularly."We shall cut to the chase h4x.m4g3. The last time we tried to recreate you has failed and left me in this condition. I need you to unleash your anti-cheat cheat and dispell which what am i cursed with. If you do not comply your island that you have failed to spam will then be spam-nuked." Then out of the shadows, 12 men in dark robes come out of the shadows, then wiping out their controllers, they hit some many buttons so fast that it causes the area around h4x.m4g3 to glow in a electric like field.

OOC:God I'm sick of talking in spam.

[reality_deviant]

"Wait!" called Reality Deviant, running after Dragonsbane. "I wanna help! Let's go Voltron Force! Or something...*pant, pant*
"How hard can it be to figure out how to drive one?" She wondered aloud as she ran. "It'll be just like a video game...."

[Flarecobra]

(OOC) Then don't. Remember, there's subtitles.

Cobra made it into her Eva, climbed in, and started up the actvation process. As soon as she was able to, she opened up a comm line to DB and said "What do you think? We're going to hold them off as long as we can, and if they try to invade, well, we'll deal with it then." What she didn't say was <If we survive that long, that is.>

[h4x.m4g3]

OOC: So am I

"You've done this to yourself" he said pausing to think, he's threatening to destroy the island, but at the same time if he despelled him... what if he had his powers too, he would be unstopable. *If he has powers then he could still try to destroy the island, DB, SAAM, CT, RD, BMG! all of them... I can't let the spam destroy all of them.

"You want my strength don't you? If I do this you'll become just like me won't you?" In the back of his mind he weighed the decissions in the back of his mind. "And then what will stop you from carying out your plan?" He thought carefully for a while taking his time with his decission.

[WanderingActor]

Wandering Actor was still caught in his trance of power, as a light aura began to glow around him.

[Inbred Chocobo]

"What, are you doubting your own powers, you've had your powers for at least a year." There field that was surrounding him is starting to slowly shrink."I'vd had no practice with mine, so what makes you think I would be able to use them just like that? Besides, would you rather die now and get your island nuked, or spare your island from my power and live to fight another day?"

[reality_deviant]

RD screeched to a halt.

"Woah...what is Wandering Actor doing? I thought his only power was to look good. This could be interesting..."

[h4x.m4g3]

"Live" the word echoed in his head again and again running its weigh through his mind. He had but one option. He held his right hand out to the edge of the energy feild. He closed his eyes and the skin on his hand began to melt... "You won't kill me... you need me, but I can't let you go on." his hand began to reform still barely contained with the energy field but something was off... that wasn't his normal hand that's...

A nintendo power glove... "I have the power..." he said before leaping through the energy field. His body landed in a thump on the other side badly charred and breathing

OOC:Is this the end of our hero?

IC: "enjoy your miserable existance" he said before his body relaxed, no longer breathing. His vital signs dropped to zero, h4x.m4g3 was dead.

OOC:It looks like it.