Drive by Haiku!

[Funka Genocide]

An interesting phenomena swept over the forums the other day, inspired by one mad genius.

That madman was Sithdarth, who unknowingly sparked a revolution in poetic warfare.

I present to you my list of victims, may there be mercy on us all!


this is the original one sent to me by Sithdarth

This is something new
Feel my wrath through this Haiku
The Drive by Haiku


and my reply!

stunned and wounded I,
not expecting such a thing,
must run for cover!


and so it began...


Armoured Bishoujo was first to feel my wrath!

I didn't make up
drive by haiku, Sithdarth did
but I find it fun!


and then it was BMG!

run for cover you!
its time for drive by haiku!
please do not hurt me?

who, after being defeated by my devastating haiku attack, decided to join me in my efforts.

soon after, Zweihander was felled by haiku

victim number 5
another one feels the rage
of haiku driveby!


and then Cloud Strife...

you are next to feel
the wrath of drive by haiku!
BAM! how tastes justice?

Bob the Mercenary

what am I doing?
drive by haiku, for sure dude!
now eat power bar!

Dragonsbane...

now I'm a menace
behold my haiku power!
the victims list grows!

Skywarrior KC...

sprite master you are
but haiku will bring you down!
feel the haiku pain!

Newb...

funny this must seem
my random haiku attack!
calvinball roxxors!

Squishy Cheeks...

used to be Jadguy
now some squishy cheeks it seems
I hope that gets fixed!

and Meister too!

meister der sandwich
they sell that here in Japan
I don't speak German.

now Osterbaum!

who made you captain?
was it Finlands government?
how much do they pay?

Adamark as well!

thats a great hat there
real official looking too
eat haiku justice!


Synkronized...

Asuka is best!
so we both agree on that
though she is quite mean.


VA_Ninja got one too

haiku attack now!
VA has great artistry
"its a wolf!" I know!


And Archbio...

whats with the bunny?
it really does creep me out
teeth like that scare me

and then Foamy..

you killed the bad guy!
thats not supposed to happen
way too much power.


Lycanthrope!

running out of wit
I've hit the bottom sadly
suck haiku sucker!

Madhatter...

pictures worth a mint
wish I were as good, but not
so I use haiku


h4x.m4g3!

sea creatures are dumb
I smash them with buster steel!
they make squishing noise


Stephanos!

herald of chaos
dark knight of supreme evil
no match for haiku!


QueenQeeko was defeated as well!

my haiku attack!
a blue mage will learn to use
haiku against me!


And then Chicago Lollie

bag of tacquitos
the perfect weapon you say?
nothing to haiku!


my rage for poetic justice has not been sated yet, who will be next to face my haiku wrath?

Maybe you!

[Sithdarth]

I confess I did spark this event. I thought that it would be confined to my own random attacks but I seem to have miscalculated. However, I find this out come far more enjoyable and will gladly accept any wrath visted upon for my role in this.

Edit: Yes this is shameless self promotion but it isn't every day I can claim to father a movement. I mean who could resist really. (Don't give me that look I'm on to you)

[Funka Genocide]

Thaumaturge

we are on to you
your crazy plan of Nilk use
you won't get away!


Pixie!

quite the cynic you
might not see this coming but
haiku attacks still!

The Kneumatic Pnight

the world may be grey
but haiku will lift spirits!
so will the love bomb!


Krylo too!

perverted you are
like yoda I must speak now
to disguise my love

and then Kenryoku_Maxis!

anime guru!
but how are you at haiku?
Japan is strange, huh?


I've still got a whollot more to do!

[QueenQeeko]

We are all going
To get you back for this, dude
Beware our revenge...

[Sky Warrior Bob]

My Haiku is bad.
Convulse involuntary.
Revenge.

SWK

[Sithdarth]

You don't really need to Haiku here if you don't want to, you can do that in a PM. Otherwise this might be taken for a cleverly disguised random Haiku thread, which was discouraged a little while ago. This, I think, is more about the process and a few examples here and there.

[VA_Ninja]

I love the Haiku
My favorite poetry
F, I changed some things

^_^

[BlackMageGirl!]

and then it was BMG!

run for cover you!
its time for drive by haiku!
please do not hurt me?

who, after being defeated by my devastating haiku attack, decided to join me in my efforts.*eyebrow twitches* WHAT? I remember retaliating with one of my own and YOU admitting defeat. For proof, I shall post the haiku he was beaten by.

You want to beat me?
Like you are the only one
Take a number you!

[Royalspork]

Inactivity
saved me once, I am here but
I'm not in full flow

[QueenQeeko]

Rise up, forumites!
Turn the haiku back on him
Win back our honor

[Meister]

You people are nuts talking like this all the time. Seriously now.
You people are nuts
Talking like this all the time
Seriously now
:p

[QueenQeeko]

You people are nuts talking like this all the time. Seriously now.
You people are nuts
Talking like this all the time
Seriously now
:p

:p

[WanderingActor]

Hey, this looks like fun!
Maybe I will join the game
Y'all can taste my pain!

[Meister]

Oh no, QueenQeeko
Has unveiled my cunning plan!
This will be my end!

... wait a minute...

I of all people,
Before I post here, should check
Whether these are banned.

>_>

EDIT: Well, um, yeah, you guys... we should maybe tune it down just a little bit. Better not to let it go into Random Haiku territory. I so wasn't around for the closing of the last haiku thread...

[QueenQeeko]

Aww... I didn't know it would be a problem...

[Funka Genocide]

yeah, I didn't mean for this to be a random haiku thread, its all very centered around haiku's written for certain forumites. I tried to personalize each one to some degree, so as not to be considered random.

so make sure your haikus are on topic, or I fear this thread may be shut down!

Update!

Packman!

illinois is where
you come from, so this haiku
written in english!


Celes Jessa!

oekaki might!
something you possess I'm sure
but haiku wins now!


Totsumanu!

panty thieving monk!
in sprite form he is displayed
read it everyday!


thats not nearly enough...

also, here are some replies!

from Thaumaturge...

I won't get away?
You shall never defeat me!
My Nilk shall rule all!


and this is from Chicago Lollie, not a haiku, but I still htought it was funny.

Dear god the pain! Oh how the Japanese poetry burns, like so much... so much... uh, t--tofu? Yeah, tofu!

Yeah.

Agony?

this one is great! its from Celes Jessa.

Haiku has not won,
for it confuses me so.
It will destroy all.

one man fighting against all odds, the shadows deepen around him, yet his haiku still thirsts...

for victims!

[Totsumanu]

Totsu lies dead now
By a drive-by haiku post
Thanks for reading Funka

Funka Genocide:

The drive-by haiku
His weapon of choise is words
Type, type, type.....your dead

Retaliation, baby!! OH YEAH!!

[Funka Genocide]

I got this reply from Osterbaum

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!

I wonder if he held the shift button down, or just used caps lock? :confused:

Cloud fought valiantly to the end!

A drive-by haiku?
I'll get you for this, Funka!
Start praying, foul knave!

Trust me, Funka G,
You will taste my big-sword wrath!
...When I can find you... >.>

verily didst his haiku prowess nearly wound me!

and my two newest victims!

Royal Spork, who 'til recently was known as High on pawns!

Roman legions fear
chessdoken can not compete
haiku destroys both!

to which he responded...

just like rome and greece
the haiku must fall, rebels
like me will make sure

Hmmm, I sense a disturbance in the force...


and our newest superhero, Captain Switzerland!

switzerland seems cold
so, have you ever been there?
probably, makes sense...

I've still got a whole buddy list to work through! :)



new development: Kneumatic Pnight replied as well!

Your haiku was odd
And, though I forgot to sign
I gave you the rep

[Osterbaum]

I allready like
Got back at him, big time, yo
But not with Haiku

Wait...Darn!

He beat me to it
Posted before me, he did
That is my revenge

EDIT:

Sorry to you, guys
I can never know Haiku
English impaired me...

[Funka Genocide]

Behold as two mighty haiku warriors go toe to toe in a non stop haiku tour de force! who will prevail? lets find out!

the first strike was that of Sithdarth

Your Haiku is weak
My powers grow everyday
Bow to your master

But I was prepared this time!

I am the haiku
as has my soul become one
with poetry strikes!

and so the battle was joined!

You are mistaken
your soul was simply given
to me Haiku's master

no room for mistake
here within my perfection
of haiku technique!

look at all the quotes
numbers increasing each time
it's insanity

insane I can do
pilot waters of madness
with haiku to guide

this is too much fun
Haikuing for no reason
you fear my prowess?

fear is left behind
by my zen haiku attack!
I am emptiness...

and so the battle drew near its conclusion...

when this is finished
it should make that thread on Haiku
the battle goes on

had to cut it off
too many quotes had accrued
in our epic fight!

the fighters weary from battle, they decided to call it a draw.

I then went on to hit more forumites with my mighty haiku powers!

Cheshire Thief was first, after reappearing for a short time..

QQ drew you good
your ears are very cute-like
wish I had some too...

and then Bat Girl was next!

an emergency!
quick! have to find a stretcher!
good thing we have you!

then followed SAAM

stick figures are great
mixed with comedic genius
lines are funny too!

followed by the mighty RaiRai!

happy wedding day!
and many happy dreams too
and lovely children!

now I must slumber, for my haiku blade grows weary. But tomorrow brings swift poetry on silent wings to more unsuspecting forumites...

poetry of justice!

[Elminster_Amaur]

I shall stop this war
You will never defeat me
Your doomsday is nigh.

The battle will rage
And many shall die needless,
I shall be wounded

At first I'll seem dead
I'll have been near my demise
And you shall all cheer.

The bells shall all ring
And in the midst of it all
I will recover.

My wrath shall be great
Fire* shall flow (forth) from my hands
And you will all flee
*if fire is pronounced Fi-er, as is the dialect in West FL, leave "forth" out

You shall all unite
Bringing pitchforks and torches
Against my great wrath.

Again and again
You shall poke me and prod me,
Until I kill you.

Peace will reign again
And Haikus will be banned like
The nuclear arms.

See dear children why
Haikus should not be used in
attempts at a life.

[Sithdarth]

Another epic battle has been fought and now you all shall bear witness:

It began with me:

the battle is joined
prepare yourself for defeat
en garde I say, friend

To which Funka responded

darkness overcomes
my enlightenment shattered
the dark side calls me...

Then the battle intensified with my reply:

I have something new
I think you shall enjoy it
the double haiku

Surely you shall fall
before this most mighty force
Two attacks in one

Funka responded in kind:

evil with it brings
a deeper type of power
mercy, it has none

dancing little pawn
on stages meant for betters,
we all play along...

Then we continued increasing by on Haiku each time:

dark today I see
your haiku power grows more
You may join me soon

fear and loathing flee
the darkness consumes Haiku
greater power it brings

forward I push through
The dark deepens around me
this dance continues

------------------------

all light again lost
no lanterns on lonely paths
withering deceit

might lucidity
be only a forebearance?
madness only truth

dark insanity
which calls me with baited breath
its hunger, endless...

-----------------------

Welcome to my world
Insanity is the surface
The maze awaits you

Show no fear and pass
Your acceptance is assured
Follow the quite voice

Deeper shall you fall
and greater shall you be
Dark pheonix rising

Reborn in dark fire
Your life cast aside forever
join the ranks friend

-----------------------

tempered by these fires
dwelt within a black milieu
my ghosts, they thirst for...

everything I am
these pieces they have left me
shall be their defeat!

I am not whole yet
just shadows slowly forming
strength still lies within

darkness lusts for me
once held me in its rapture
yet heros can't die!

--------------------------

This was meant to be
Do not fear to be consumed
Haiku's darkness thirsts

You think you resist
Just ripening you are to taste
the darkness has you

heros fall to it's might
Trampled and forgotten now
you time is upon us

Join now or be crushed
This force you can' not resist
Release your fear, friend

Heroic ideas
they must be set aside now
you must follow me

-----------------------------

ah, but having seen
the wretched other side, I
can never go back!

ideals are nothing
a heros might is his soul
shining brighter still

legends only know
of the plights of worthy men
I am legend'ry

power has no worth
in hands so black as the ones
you clench so fiercely

defeat I may face
never shall I bow to you!
seek a hero's death!

And once again we arrive at a draw. The war rages on...

[Funka Genocide]

and so, the legendary Haiku Hero traveled the dangerous pathways of NPF, challenging worthy foes along his way...


Elminster Aumur had lain a challenge before our hero, and was smote verily!

when the din has calmed
and chaos relents its hold
face haiku's reaper!

and then Wandering Actor was met upon the road

so sexy it hurts
those who gaze upon your frame
haiku needs no eyes!

and the villainous SephirothSama!

Cloud Strife's nemesis
and master of great artwork
Sephiroth Sama!

when finally he came across the monstrous Shiney!

I was kind of scared
to send you a kaiku, doh!
nervously misspelled!

who replied...

what the fucking hell?
i don't have time for this shit!
you are a big freak.

Hah! SUCK it.

sending our hero spiraling into defeat!

so, defeated and alone, what will our hero do? stay tuned!

[adamark]

i thought haikus had to be about nature

[Elminster_Amaur]

Dear, dear Funka G...

Ah, what a young man.
He does not quite understand.
I already won.

Your flesh has been seared
Your mind will fall a'crumbling
Like Ben Kenobi.

Yoda would say this:
On the path to the dark side,
Are you, Apprentice.

You attacked me with
More anger than skillfulness
And became reckless.

I feigned my defeat
And you went on to Shiney
You are now in death.

I warned you of this
To me you did not listen
Shiney killed you first.

I now defile you.
Your corspe is filled with my bile.
I gave just warning.

[Packman]

Can someone please explain the Format and other rules for a Haiku. I cant remember three years agao when I we covered poetry in my English III class.

[Thanatos]

Ah my dear Elminster;

Shot Down in the Night
By the power of my line
Haiku shall be your end.

For I carry here
the ultimate weapon
the seven shooter

Seven stanzas all
line by line I shoot you down
I am the master.

And once you are gone
My work shall just be started
one by one you'll fall

Funka G, you'll be next
perhaps you'll fall to the eight
or maybe even more.

Who will be the next
I just do do not know
I'd just watch my back

Bang Bang Elminster
with the power of my line
Now you have been shot down.

*******
Packman, it depends on who you ask. Most will say its three lines of 7/5/7 syllables. However that rule applies to Japanese Onji. English haiku should be three lines short long short totaling no more than 17 syllables.

[Melfice]

Packman, it depends on who you ask. Most will say its three lines of 7/5/7 syllables. However that rule applies to Japanese Onji. English haiku should be three lines short long short totaling no more than 17 syllables.

Reconsider that
For it is five-seven-five
Glad to have helped!

[Funka Genocide]

taking advantage of our heros wounded state, a few errant souls decided to attack! much to their dismay...


Thanatos delivered a stunning combination attack, as did Rayinne!

You have now released
weapons of mass destruction
in poetic form.

There is no way out.
haiku rends all realities
even N.P.F.

Lo, five-seven-five
is the number of our doom.
Screw that devil guy.

But no one thought to
drive-by haiku one less known.
A foolish mistake.

A crazy Lainie
unworthy to be smited.
One who lurks all day.

Now, taste my power!
All of you, eat poetry!
No one shall survive!

Wait, what just happened?
I am not an evil one!
Why did I attack?

Now sounds the war gong.
I have to run for my life.
Shit, I'm gonna die!

both were met in kind!

to Thanatos...

no winter covers
in an endless sea of white
with no sound hereafter

the songs they sing, stark
as these lines of red they run
against the opaque

backdrop unending
the horrid sound of laughing
they call from beyond

join in agony
a chorus of the damn'ed
in coldest silence

and weep tears of blood
for a future never seen
your time is over


and then Rayinne...

your skills show promise
the lurkers road you've travelled
the poets way now...

my haiku madness
has led me deep within I
forsaking all else

I did not miss you
so much as forget to strike
choose your own demise?

one final word now
on the topic of yourself,
your comic was great!


and still they come...

StabbityMage received a visit from the haiku master one dark night as well!

fear my haiku wrath!
some jokes about your mother
now I'll go to sleep


Wandering Actor and SephirothSama admitted defeat gracefully. :p

That just had to be
The sexiest haiku
That's ever been concieved.

Funka Genocide!
The one who started it all!
Awesome in my book!

where will our heros journey lead?

destiny is writ
on stars so vibrantly shining
as to be unseen...

[Thanatos]

Reconsider that
For it is five-seven-five
Glad to have helped!

I am dyslexic
But as I said the numbers
do not matter

It could be of length
three six four is still right
long short long is the rule

[Elminster_Amaur]

I have no more time
For City of Heroes has
Engulfed all of it.

[Terex4]

This may not quite fit
but it applies to this thread
Clicky my linky (http://www.ozyandmillie.org/)

[WanderingActor]

Wandering Actor and SephirothSama admitted defeat gracefully. :p


I wouldn't exactly call my haiku an admission of defeat, rather an appraisal of a very sexy and soon to be famous haiku. I still think my reply is best, though.

[Mr. Viewtiful]

Being the most unpopular popular guy helps out here...

Pre-emptive stike, yo!
Unseen, unheard, I lash out
Kick him while he's down!

[Yunni]

I watch the others
Violence is not glory, but beauty
Such a sad conclution.