Zombie virus discovered!

[Cloud Strife]

BBC reports:

There has been a small outbreak of “zombism” in a small town near the border of Laos in North-Eastern Cambodia.
The culprit was discovered to be mosquitoes native to that region carrying a new strain of Malaria which thus far has a 100 percent mortality rating killing victims in fewer than 2 days.

After death, this virus is able to restart the heart of it’s victim for up to two hours after the initial demise of the person where the individual behaves in extremely violent ways from what is believe to be a combination of brain damage and a chemical released into blood during “resurrection.”

Cambodian officials say that the outbreak has been contained and the public has no need to worry.

General Ary Serey had this to say, "We have obtained samples of this new virus and plan to learn how it starts the heart and other major organs of the deceased. We intend to use this to increase the quality of life for all."

US Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice opposed the plan saying that the Cambodian government holds a great biological weapon and should destroy it immediately. Cambodian officials have yet to comment.

A United Nations team will be dispatched to Cambodia to confirm the safety of biological research in Cambodia.
Link to the article here. (http://65.127.124.62/south_asia/4483241.stm.htm)The page almost looks real, doesn't it?

This is just crazy, y'know? I wonder what caused the virus to mutate like that?

Thoughts? Comments? Concerns?

[Elminster_Amaur]

General Ary Serey had this to say, "We have obtained samples of this new virus and plan to learn how it starts the heart and other major organs of the deceased. We intend to use this to increase the quality of life for all."Hehe, by "increase the quality of life for all" he means cause entire cities to be wiped out by their own citizens turning violent.

Also...I must say this:
How...what...the...but...I...buh?Yes, the page looks quite real

[Kurosen]

Y'know you've been duped, right?

[Cloud Strife]

Yeah, it's the best part of the whole thing. It's almost indistinguishable from a real BBC page. XD

[RickZarber]

It makes you wonder though. Many myths have basis in truth somewhere.
Where'd the zombie idea come from originally? Obviously not a virus, but...
I mean, there's the whole idea of an afterlife, but most religions don't include reanimated corpses.

[Krylo]

Voodoo priestesses have been concocting chemicals that, in high doses, force a body into a comatose-esque state, almost completely indistinguishable by death, and, in low doses, cause them to become extremely open to the power of suggestion/painless/those other things you think of zombies (other than rotting flesh) for quite a long time.

So, basically, the slip someone this poison, dig them up, and then keep them drugged up as pale dead-lookin' slaves. Superstitious villagers see it and assume it's a zombie.

[Deathosaurus Wrecks]

on a kind of related note: in high altitude, rocky areas (such as Transylvania) where its hard to dig deep graves, the mountain chill would cause rigermortis to set in on freshly buried bodies; and since there wasn't enough weight holding them down the bodies would sit up in thier graves. this tended to give the villagers quite a scare the next day when gramps was poppin up out of the dirt like a rootebega.

[Toastburner B]

I once saw pretty the same idea, except done on with a CNN.com format instead of BBC.com.

Of course, that one was a "screamer", and not just a hoax article. If I knew where it was, I'd link to it...but I don't have the link anymore.