Don't sweat it man. I loved your story. I'd butter your severed neck anyday!

Wow. I thought I had interesting life stories... There I go thinking again.

Damn Phil, what an interesting day you had. Personally I would have just gave the kids butter when they asked for a refill instead of waiting for the parent to show up. Anyway you must of had a nice walk to your car that day huh?

Damn phil, how could you do such a thing, adding butter to the popcorn! You are such a horrible person!

So my guess is the kids went back into the theater, whinned to mommy that they couldn't get butter, obviously neglected to tell the fact you said about the grandma not being able to take butter, disrupted moms movie cause they are whinning so she has to come out and be a bitch instead of asking politely! I love customers!

My recently exciting day came at work yesterday. This is a true story, and it involves a user that is so incompetent that it boggles the mind they would let this person sit at a computer desk. I work in IT and have to carry a god awful, annoying as hell pager around, and its there for support. I'm usually on the go enough times that someone mentions something to me I'll forget right away so I tell them to call pager or send an e-mail. This user, this wonderfully smart amazing user, told me as I was running around his computer was acting up, told him to get someone to e-mail me about it as I was busy. He didn't, and decided, with him knowing next to nothing about computers, to fix the problem himself. How would he do this you ask? Why it obvious. Unplug cords and plug them in again. In Random places even if thats not where they go. Then, when that solution doesn't work and causes even more problems, whats the next step? I'm sure you would all go, "page IT". Not this aspiring genius, his solution is to pick the computer up and then, by the power of the gods, drop it and see if that fixes the problem. Now when he dropped this machine, he managed to spill coffee on it as well, and not just no where, it got on the back of it and inside of it. Genius I tell you, pure Genius this guy is! Now you'd think, THINK, that he'd tell his boss his computer doesn't work, you'd think! But NO, It does not end there, not at all, he decides to plug it in again! Now what happens to a PC when it's been dropped and coffee has gotten all over it plus inside it and you plug it in and turn it on? Why, IT CAN LIGHT ON FUCKING FIRE! AND BURN THE FUCKING GENIUSES HAND AS HE TRIES TO BAT IT OUT WITH HIS FUCKING HAND.

Safe to say at this point, after a fire extinguisher is used his boss pages me and tells me what happened. Then she gets mad at me for not helping him sooner. I told her, I was on another page, told him to e-mail me so I remember cause quite frankly, production issues, which I was dealing with, are times more important then his computer acting up because he can use one of the other computers there for the time being. Now here's the kicker, I get to the now toasty machine and ask him what had happened to cause the problem. He says "The screen was flickering all the time". I look at the 10 pounds of paper on his keyboard that's been there the whole time apparently, and wish to the gods of war that I could smite this guy right then and there. But they say no and tell me to carry the damn toasty computer away from his desk, see if anything survived or to otherwise toss it out.

So it's been placed in an area in the server room, under a sign that says "User's Never Learn".

Beheading someone and pouring buttter down their headhole is passive-agressive? I'd hate to know what real agression is for you.

I never imagined that anyone could really be THAT stupid in real life with out faking it. He's so stupid its medically fascinating. Was he by any chance mentally disabled? Just wondering.

I have to admit, with the fact that many computer components burn green, the guy had to be a class A idiot to try to put it out with his hands. Also, I hope they got the place evacuated, because burning components also tend to release hazardous chemicals. Some even radioactive, IIRC.

We evacuate for any fire. And our fire marshall put it out. I got paged after we were allowed to come back in which was an hour later, after enjoy the wonderful sun during that time.

He's not mentally retarded, we think he is, but theres no proof he is. He is from another culture though and is recently immigrated and has very poor english. But it just boggled my mind when I was told what happened. He wasn't fired either, wish he was cause he's fucked up a lot of computer equipment. Usually just by deleting files and folders he shouldn't be. But yeah, I saw the computer on my desk this morning before putting it on the sign and just thought, man this make a great little bit on a comedy movie, then though Mr. Bean would be a great character to experience this.

I had to re-purpose a new PC for him. A Dell GX 1 40o0Mhz with 256 ram, booya, he can break that all he wants cause we have a shitload of crappy pc's he can use!

On the butter-drenched decapitation; Is there anything worse than horrible people making poor use of black humour? Probably, but I can't think if it at the moment!

Also;

You know, I've always thought that kids knew that participating in any way in a Student Body Council was one of the more meaningless excersises in their 4-year Highschool career. I mean, everyone jokes about it, makes fun of the process, realizes that the President is a puppet leader, meant to distract from the real power, but then oh hey there's a ballot and someone wins and everything. Who's voting?!

I mean, does everyone just sort of willingly go along with the lie? It's double-think, 1984 man!

On that note, there should be a 'High-School Musical' esque movie with songs and dance about what actually goes down in Highschool.

*Que music*

"Didn't think I drank that much *da da da, da da da,* No idea where I woke up *da da da, da da da"

Or something like:

"School shooting! *do wap do wap do* It's just another, school shooting! *de dap do do do*"

Never gonna drink again...
 

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