Last time on Pokemon Silver: Our "Hero" is on a quest to collect all eight badges and become the Johto Leauge Champion or some shit. Mostly this equates to him ranting and being a dick. He recently got his second badge, and is currently on his way to Goldenrod City. But what challenges await our douchetacular protagonist?
Episode Nine: Ducks are Stupid.
I still think you're a jackass.
Doo-doo-doo-doo!
It had better have, you lazy sack of shit.
No, really? I was gonna sell it for trading cards. I'm getting the hell out of here.
Oh, what now?
Oh, it's you. 'Sup, homie?
Yep. I totally kicked their asses though. But then their manager proceeded to serve me. 'Twas brutal.
Nigga, you must be trippin'. I'm telling the truth.
What, I didn't make it clear enough the last time I kicked your ass?
MINIBOSS BATTLE
TokenASSHAT VS.
ASSHATToken
ROUND 2
You're using a Gastly too, I see.
Unfortunately, Terry here is made out of too much win to lose to your Egon wannabe.
Are you just copying my team? Unschway.
The dramatic thing to do here would have been to make Leatherhed fight Toke...Assha...
Fluffy's Bayleef, but hey. Fuck drama.
haha I'm a douche.
Oh crap I'm boned :gonk:
...
I can't
Bayleef how easy that was.
Yeah, that one sort of sucked. Sorry.
I
told you you should have gone back and taken Cyndaquil instead.
That's what I've been saying, bro.
He is? Woah, thanks for the heads up Token.
And he couldn't have done it without the help of your weakass team.
Dude. Don't go all Falkner on me bro.
Don't be so hard on yourself. You stole the wrong Pokeball. It could have happened to anyone.
That's the spirit.
I should warn you, their rhymes are wiggity-wack.
Just like any gang. But hey, you have a Kanto accent. I'm sure you're more hood than they are.
Okay, now your just stealing my worldview.
WHAT. It's ON white boy! We'll see who's disrespectin' who when I'm the mewdamn champ. ARGH. I'm so angry I'm gonna go up my posse!
Addition found!
Welcome to da' crew. (Ekans' nickname is Dilos, by the way.)
Oh Arceusfuck.
Listen bitch, I do not have the time.
Almost huh? I
almost caught a Pokemon once. Then I stopped SUCKING and caught the damn thing.
All I'm trying to say is that your mom has sexual relations with Magikarp.
Fuck off.
My Pocket Monster Gear has GPS. I couldn't get lost if I tried.
Are you going somewhere with this?
I heard the forest's protector is a LITTLE BITCH.
So, I've always wondered. Are Toads half human and half goomba?
Hey, look at all that caring I'm not doing.
That sucks for you.
Why not?
That's not what your mom said. :shifty:
Oh goddamit. Maybe if I get that dumbasses Farfetch'd to chop it down...
That was fast.
Where are you going?
No, the kid is back this way.
No
Dammit
Stop it
What the fuck is wrong with you
Argh
Shithead
No. Seriously. Stop.
Please?
ARGH
no fucking more mister nice me
I WILL FUCKING GO BACK IN TIME AND HUNT YOUR BRETHREN TO EXTINCTION.
AT THE VERY LEAST THEY WILL END UP ON THE ENDANGERED SPECIES LIST.
WHAT'S THAT YOU SAY? "THERE IS NO ENDANGERED SPECIES LIST?"
WHAT A WHOOPDEEFUCKINGCOINCIDENCE, I'LL BE INVENTING THAT AS WELL.
I SWEAR IF YOU DON'T STOP THIS SHIT RIGHT NOW MY BRAIN WILL IMPLODE.
YOU DON'T FUCKING WANT THAT. I WILL START SINGING GODDAMN POP SONGS IF THAT GOES DOWN.
AT THIS POINT YOU ARE CLEARLY JUST DOING THIS TO PISS ME OFF. IT IS WORKING. I MUST IMPLORE YOU TO STOP, BEFORE I DO SOMETHING WE WILL BOTH REGRET.
I'M TRYING TO BE REASONABLE ABOUT TH-heh. hehehe. hehehee.
So I put my hands up
They're playin' my song
And the butterflies fly away.
I'm noddin' my head like yeah
Shakin' my hips like- YEAH. I GOT YA NOW, DON'T I BITCH!
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FUCK ALL OF YOU SHITTING CUM GUZZLING THUNDERSLUTS
That is simultaneously the cutest and ugliest fucking radish I have ever seen.
Or is it an onion? Either way, it's probably radioactive or someshit.
Getting the FUCK out.
It's kind of hard to miss.
Lady, I don't have time for your stupid religious shit.
What the FUCK made you think that?
Doo-doo-doo-doo!
This is where I ruin your shit.
Youngsters with Rattata always piss me off. I don't know why.
D'aww, Sandshrew.
I should damn well hope so.
HAHAHA! Bitch please.
No, ma'am. I'm Batman.
Does that mean you aren't gonna pay me when you lose?
Cause I better be gettin' my money.
Balboa, effteedubs.
You're way out of your league; you've more than met your match!
Do we have to?
Where did that kid come from? :gonk:
I WANNA ROCK
Cuz you's a bitch.
:whee:
Looks like she's
harder, better, faster, stronger.
Class is in session. And by class, I mean me kicking the everloving shit out of your Pokemon with my newly evolved rock thingy.
Class dismissed.
Well yeah. That tends to happen when you SUCK.
I'm not.
No.
I said No.:stressed:
Let's try and finish this in one move.
All I had left was Tackle, and you used fucking DISABLE. Every duck I have met so far needs to fucking DIE.
Woah. Uh... at least you still have the top of Psyduck's head to remember him by.
Go to fuck.
GOLDENROD CITY!
Okay, so now we have options! I can go to the Radio Tower, the Underground, the Gym, the National Park (Butterfree, here I come), or I can get a bike, visit the department store, learn how to breed my Pokemon, catch everyone in Route 34, or sit in the Pokemon Center and write depressing poetry. Any suggestions?