> Be the best troll.
You are now the cold current queen herself, Glissa.
You are currently fuming over the the light in your CHUMPROLL that indicates a certain salty sea-dog is alive and well. Why hasn't he spoken to you over all this time!
>Artisan: Tear into Sage
You're going to give him a piece of your mind.
Show Pesterlog-- bathorysIllustrator [BI] has begun trolling melancholicChumly [MC] --
BI: Pardone my language please
BI: But whate the goddamn fucke
MC: Ahoy
MC: GliS\S\a
MC: ...
MC: You're probably won/)erinG\ why I never came back with any artifactS\ or bothere/) to contact you.
MC: An/) you're no /)oubt ma/) that I've been avoi/)inG\ you.
BI: I honeste to Gog thought you've been deade this whole time.
BI: Is that the sorte of thing you like to leave hanginge over people's heads?
MC: S\orry.
BI: *Clap* *Clap*
BI: Wondrouse speakinge skills Caoway.
BI: You certainly have beene practicing.
BI: Is there any purpose to this discussion?
BI: No silly accent. I'm not in the mood to type out extra e's for you.
MC: What elS\e /)o you want me to S\ay, La/)y FroS\ty G\illS\?
MC: I'm S\orry I forG\ot to contact you an/) le/) you to believe I waS\ /)ea/) for half a S\weep.
MC: I've was kin/) of cauG\ht up in thiS\ whole S\elf loathinG\ thinG\ an/) between G\ettinG\ foo/) for Beechie an/) myS\elf, I /juS\t /)i/)n't take the time to think about you or anyone elS\e for that matter.
MC: I'm S\ort of a /jerk like that.
MC: It's no excuS\e, I know.
MC: But that'S\ why I'm apoloG\izinG\. What more do you want?
MC: /)o I, the lowly peaS\ant, have to /)o a fuckinG\ cruS\tacean /)ance for your royal forG\iveneS\S\?
BI: I know very little of your personal problems, but an apology is a start.
BI: A dance would certainly be a gesture of goodwill, but not now.
BI: Why do you suddenly care to speak with me?
MC: Have you hear/) about the G\ame /)erpah haS\ put toG\ether?
BI: Well of course.
BI: He made it from information from the ruins I showed him.
BI: Has he finished it yet?
MC: Yeah he haS\. An/) he put me in charG\e of /)iS\tributinG\ it an/) puttinG\ toG\ether a team.
MC: For reaS\onS\ I'm S\ure ma/)e perfect S\enS\e to him.
MC: AS\ it happenS\, I'm a player S\hort an/) I've alrea/)y trie/) talkinG\ everyone elS\e i know into /joininG\. Even a few trollS\ I never met before.
MC: LonG\ an/) i/)iotic S\tory ma/)e S\hort, they all S\ai/) no.
BI: Feels great to know I was picked last for this game of Alternian doom dodgeball. Really.
BI: Does this mean I was choses after Leraje and Tergum? Ouch.
BI: Tell me, who else is in this motley crew?
MC: Zebrek, G\orrma, S\harl, Lera/je, Piron, an/) S\omeone I haven't actually met yet.
MC: Oh an/) myS\elf aS\ well.
BI: Yes.
BI: You are offering so much incentive right now.
BI: Meddle meister supreme and the uncouth merchant. Not thrilled with you either right now.
BI: However, I'll join because I told Piron I'd play the game with her.
BI: So I will tolerate Leraje's nonexistant sense of privacy and even Sharl's disgusting habits.
BI: I will even bare through the suffering of Zebrek's inability to remember a detail that doesn't pertain to butterflies, pixies, and other whimsical nonexistant things.
MC: S\poken like a true hoity-toity royal. What a trooper.
BI: I will disregard that remark for the moment being.
BI: How am I to go about playing this game?
MC: I'll S\en/) you the file, pluS\ thiS\ really helpful G\ui/)e /)erpah wrote.
melancholicChumly sent bathorysIllustrator file "Sgrub_remastered.texe" and "Not_dying_in_sgrub_for_assholes_v.0.01.ttxt".
MC: Be S\ure to rea/) the inS\tructionS\ very carefully.
BI: Oh yes that is certainly something I will do.
BI: If that is all I bid you adieu.
BI: Just remember that I expect that dance later.
MC: Fine, next time we meet in perS\on. I'll make a note of it.
-- bathorysIllustrator [BI] has ceased trolling [COLOR=dark"SeaGreen"]melancholicChumly [MC][/COLOR] --
You certainly showed him. When the time comes, he better do the dance right, because the consequences of failure are quite severe.
Anyways, you decide to move onto the guide. You gloss over the title and skip right into the... dammit Derpah.
>Dammit Derpah
You are now Nasryl. Much like Ms. Frost Gills, you are encountering quite the problem with the supposed 'Scientist' as well. It is quite painful really. You just failed to save this guys life and now you are having to tell Aldurin why he is stupid and fated to die.
>Lets watch
Your headache.
Show Pesterlog-- technopathicalAnomaly [TA] began trolling hazardousPracticioner [HP] --
TA: I fIgUrEd It's bEst If I mAkE sUrE thIs Is nOrmAl
TA: ElEctrIc shOcks ArEn't hUrtIng mE As mUch AnYmOrE
TA: I'm lItErAllY pOkIng A lIght sOckEt rIght nOw And I dOn't EvEn twItch
TA: hOnEstlY It kIndA fEEls gOOd
HP: Hush
HP: Im brXXding
HP: ...
HP: Xk, brXXding cXmplete
TA: sO Am I dYIng?
TA: Or Is thIs A sUpErpOwEr?
HP: Well, I've seen anXmalies befXre
HP: But I can Xnly assume yXur nXrmal until prXven Xtherwise
HP: My persXnal diagnXsis is that yXu have been Xverly expXsed and yXur nerves are being deadened
HP: Treatment: stXp being stupid
HP: Wear sXme rubber glXves
TA: bUt I AlrEAdY wEAr mY cOmbAt glOvEs
TA: whIch ArE mEtAl
TA: bUt thOsE dOn't hUrt UntIl I pOkE A 2 gIgA-wAtt cIrcUIt
HP: If I was nXt dedicated tX my cause, I wXuld prXbably kill yXu myself
HP: Wearing metal when dealing electricity ELECTRXCUTES yXu
HP: I just lXst a patient to an explXded hive
HP: I'm in nX mXXd fXr this level Xf retardatiXn
TA: wEll yOU ArE thE dOctOr
TA: bUt I jUst thInk yOU'rE jEAlOUs, I ActUAllY gEt A pOwEr
TA: sUrE I cAn't sAvE lIvEs bUt I cAn prOtEct mInE In A thUndErstOrm
TA: I wOndEr whAt wOUld hAppEn If I tOUchEd thE OUtgOIng cIrcUIt frOm mY bAckUp gEnErAtOr . . .
HP: RecXmmended treatments:
HP: 1. Wear Rubber glXves
HP: 2. StXp trying tX kill yXurself
HP: AlsX, I've been hearing talk Xf yXu trying tX give mechanical limbs tX Xthers
HP: Is this true? If sX I have a few chXice wXrds fXr yXu
TA: I hAvEn't pErfEctEd A UnIt yEt
TA: And vOlUntEErs ArE hArd tO cOmE bY In mY ArEA
TA: Is thIs AlsO AbOUt yOU stIll bEIng mAd fOr hAvIng tO trEAt mE bEcAUsE Of prOtOtypE 34 fAIlIng?
TA: mEntAl IntErfAcE Is thE bIggEst chAllEngE Of mY wOrk
HP: I'm angry because mechanical limbs are a STUPID idea Xn the whXle
HP: They require a lXt of maintenance, and are far frXm a permanent sXlutiXn
HP: "WXX-HXX I'm a tXtal tXXl with my rXbXtic arm!"
HP: Well guess what?
HP: The rest Xf the bXdy will grXw and repair, but the machine WXN'T
HP: CXnstant repair and replacements and sX much fixing invXlved
HP: Its just retarded
HP: What makes anyXne think its a gXXd idea
HP: It wXuld wxrk much better tX replace the arm with ANXTHER ARM
HP: Might be hard tX find Xne that wXn't be rejected by the hXst
HP: But science mXves Xn, and there are many already dead
TA: . . .
TA: yOU rEAllY hAtE tEchnOlOgY dOn't yOU?
TA: bUt I knOw thAt rObOtIc ImplAnts ArE OnlY tEmpOrArY
TA: thE UltImAtE gOAl Is tO AchIEvE mEntAl trAnsfErrEncE
TA: bEcOmE An EntIrE rObOt, And thUs bEcOmE ImmOrtAl dEpEndIng On yOUr sUrvIvAl skIlls
HP: HXw in the fuck have yXu not blXwn yXuself up?
HP: Are yXu magical?
HP: Thats fucking it!
HP: YXu clearly have fairy dust Xf sXme sXrt flXwing thrXugh yXur mutant veins
HP: Its the Xnly explanatiXn as tX why yXu have nXt killed yXurself!
HP: Because nX Xne has that kind Xf luck!
HP: NX Xne
HP: Be sure tX drXp by sXme time sX I can harness this trait fXr the gXXd Xf all trXll-kind
HP: Until then, gXXd-day, and dXn't die
-- hazardousPractitioner [HP] has ceased trolling technopathicalAnomaly [TA] --
The things you do for that guy... honestly he'd be a walking prosthetic if it weren't for you. Probably of his own volition. You have a bad premonition that you will be keeping him alive for a while. Its not an easy job, and you sometimes considering abandoning him, but its your duty as a doctor/surgeon to preserve all life.
>Check on Lusus
Cathara? She's cleaning up the body in the other room. You're not particularly squeamish, but you don't like to watch the process. If you did enter, you'd see that you failed to remove all of the shrapnel from the corpse, and that your lusus was choking to death.
Oh the pain of telling the poor green blood's lusus that his ward had fallen. It would be a very heartrending scene if the meteors didn't appear and preclude any further interaction with the rest of Alternia.
>Be someone who isn't an orphan. Orphans suck.