[Bard The 5th LW]

> Be a troll who isn't stuck waiting.

The perspective suddenly alters to Glissa who is waiting outside of her hive for a message from Caoway.

>Flashback

You are now Glissa minutes in the past looking to give your friends an update on the situation. You are on the steps of your hive not far from your custodian's CORPSE. You flip through TROLLIAN and find a memo by the name APOCALYPSE NOW-ISH. You post you're piece and get a response.

SHOW MEMO EXCERPTCURRENT bathorysIllustrator [BI] RIGHT NOW has responded to memo
CBI: my respiteblocke just exploded and everythings covered in blood now
CBI: i dont wante to do anything but lay downe when will the meteors try to kill me
FMC: Oh carp.
FMC: I mean, crap.
FMC: Look G\liS\S\a, I know you're feelinG\ really ba/) at the moment but if you /juS\t wait two S\econ/)S\ paS\t me will S\tart trollinG\ you.
FMC: Then the both of you can have one of the moS\t poiG\nant an/) heartfelt feelinG\S\-/jamS\ in the hiS\tory of para/)ox S\pace.
CSS: Good thing I'm in the sea.
CBI: Why shoulde I even
CBI: whate
CBI: fine, i'll be waitinge

Skip to now and you are once again waiting for Caoway.

>Fuck this, start this feelings jam.

Yeah why should you wait for him anymore! He kept you waiting for a sweep already.

Show feelings jam--bathorysIllustrator [BI] has begun trolling melancholicChumly [MC] --

BI: So
BI: Hello. You tolde me you were goinge to tell yourselfe about this conversation.
BI" You have beene takinge your time on starting this.
MC: I
MC: What?
MC: Oh, I G\et it. "Future me".
MC: I now have a powerful urG\e to break a clock.
BI: There was supposede to be something about feelingse.
BI: Lets try to make it quicke.
MC: Look, your moS\t AuG\uS\t an/) ES\teeme/) Fancy FinS\, I know that you're uS\e/) to G\ettinG\ whatever you want whenever you want it, but I am not fuckinG\ pS\ychic S\o I have know i/)ea what kin/) of feelinG\S\ S\houl/) be /)iS\cuS\S\e/) here or even why we S\houl/) /)iS\cuS\S\ them.
MC: An/) what'S\ your hurry anyway?
MC: Your S\eS\S\ion iS\n't /)ue to S\tart until after Piron'S\.
BI: really
BI: So did future you juste put you up to this?
BI: Say we were goinge to have a meaningful talke just so you can tell me "fuck off"?
BI: Well i don't have to put up withe it. So right back at you. I have to see if anything is left in my respiteblocke, like clothes not covered in blood. Go choke on a cuttlefish.
MC: Hey! For your information, your hiGh\neS\S\, I /)on't have any converS\ationS\ with myS\elf for the next
MC: Wait, /)i/) you S\ay bloo/)?
MC: AS\ in, not culle/) wriG\G\ler bloo/) proceS\S\e/) an/) ma/)e into paint but /juS\t plain bloo/)?
BI: Yes jackass.
BI: The facte that something's deade make you care all of a sudden? What a shocke.
MC: ...
MC: IS\ the S\omethinG\ that'S\ /)ea/) BiroS\te?
MC: G\liS\S\a?
MC: Are you S\till there?
BI: Yes. to bothe
BI: I read the olde memos. A lot of theme are deade. I'm not going to lose my composure now though.
BI: Thate all you wanted to hear?
MC: Uh, well...
MC: Are you S\ure you're all riG\ht?
BI:Yes.
BI: Im pretty sure of it.
BI: Im feeling numbe right now. I just want to lie downe
MC: If you nee/) a quick reS\pite then by all meanS\.
MC: But maybe you S\houl/) wait until after you S\erver for Piron an/) you know, enter the G\ame yourS\elf.
MC: You /)on't want to fall aS\leep an/) be obliterate/) by meteorS\ now /)o you?
BI: Uggggggg fuckinge meteors!
BI: Why did I evene show Derpah the gogdamn temple. I shoulde have known he was an idiot. I let him keepe the disks and everythinge!
MC: It'S\ not your fault.
MC: You coul/)n't have known that the /)iS\kS\ woul/) brinG\ about the en/) of the worl/).
MC: Hell, /)erpah ma/)e the G\ame an/) he /)i/)n't even believe it woul/) really work.
BI: Its the plaine damne principal of the matter.
BI: It was my fuckinge temple. Why give some low bloode the damn artifact?
BI: Darn-it nowe I'm even talkinge like one.
MC: I can't tell if you're tryinG\ to G\et a riS\e out of me or if you are honeS\tly that naive.
MC: I'll /juS\t G\ive you the benefit of the /)oubt, S\ince
MC: Um.
BI: Juste speake up.
BI: Or are you goinge to go all troll Michael Cera on me?
BI: If that is the case I am sure I have plenty of failede suitors whom you can get your ass kickede by.
MC: I'll let that G\o too.
MC: If only becauSe you're upS\et at the moment an/) I can relate to that.
BI: Why am I even doinge this.
BI: Whatever, Im too far embroiled in this.
BI: I'm going to lay my metaphorical cards on the table: I'm angry. At myself, at Derpah, at Varola, even you and several inanimate objectse.
BI: I juste want to rush into my hive and breake something i don't even know whate
MC: If it waS\ anyone elS\e, I woul/) completely back up ventinG\ their fruS\tration by breakinG\ the junk layinG\ aroun/) in their hive.
MC: But I've hear/) about the artifactS\ you keep an/) I think breakinG\ any one of them woul/) probably be a cataS\trophic miS\take of /)erpian proportionS\.
MC: S\o pleaS\e, let'S\ /juS\t keep talkinG\.
MC: Why are you ma/) at NaS\ryl anyway? What /)i/) he /)o?
[color=#9370D8BI: Wait rewinde.
BI: Whate about my collectione?
BI: It was only the guitar that was dangerouse. I thinke.[/color]
MC: I take it you /)i/)n't hear what /)erpah uS\e/) that /)eath ray you gave him for.
MC: How IS\ a muS\ical inS\trument /)anG\erouS\?
BI: deathe ray
BI: But
BI: It was perfectly functional telescope
BI: uhh I don't know. I played it and I don't remember what happened. My ears are ringing though
MC: No, it waS\ a /)eath ray with a fuctional tarG\etinG\ S\cope.
MC: Are you tellinG\ me that you really ha/) no i/)ea that practically every piece in your muS\eum iS\ an ancient weapon of maS\S\ /)eS\truction?
BI: I had my suspicionse about the shotgun.
BI: Whate do you mean every item? Nothing's happenede until now? Woule every of my visitors have recognizede them?
MC: Well, not everyone.
MC: /juS\t /)erpah that I know of, S\ince he haS\ a throbbinG\ bone bulG\e for thoS\e S\ortS\ of thinG\S\.
MC: I G\ueS\S\ If I ha/) pai/) a viS\it to your hive an/) ha/) never talke/) to /)erpah before, I probably woul/)n't have recoG\nize/) them for what they are.
MC: But we're G\ettinG\ off topic.
MC: You wante/) to talk about your feelinG\S\ riG\ht?
BI: Oh yeahe. Anger.
BI: I callede Nasryl. I asked him what to do, but all his suggestionse wouldn't work. Then he juste ran from the conversatione.
BI: If I knowe him at all, he's probably cryinge about it righte now.
MC: Yeah, probably becauS\e he feelS\ horrible that he coul/)n't /)o anythinG\ to help.
MC: What exactly /)i/) you expect him to /)o, G\liS\S\a?
MC: He'S\ half a worl/) away an/) tryinG\ to talk a moS\t likely hyS\terical ki/) throuG\h
MC: I /)on't even know what.
MC: If it'S\ all riG\ht, can I aS\k what happene/) with BiroS\te?
BI: One of his finse is missing. I couldn'te do anthinge, if I touchede him I'd just cut my hande apart.
MC: That'S\ terrible.
MC: But if you coul/)n't touch him, there waS\n't much NaS\ryl coul/)'ve /)one for you.
MC: It'S\ no oneS\ fault that BiroS\te /)ie/).
BI: I knowe. It doesn'te make me any lesse angry about it though.
BI: I thought I knew whate the thingse in my hive were though. But nope, I was just wronge.
MC: Yeah, I've been fin/)inG\ that a whole lot of thinG\S\ that I thouG\ht are wronG\ aS\ well.
BI: So
BI: Whate is Derpah's doome game like?
BI: Since I have no choice but to play ite.
MC: For S\tarterS\, it putS\ another perS\on in a poS\ition to completely fuck with your S\tuff.
MC: Then you have to fiG\ure out S\ome S\illy puzzle with all the equipment.
MC: Which lea/)S\ into another teS\t which you have to paS\S\ before a /)amne/) S\pace rock S\maS\heS\ into you.
MC: You're then tranS\porte/) to another /)imenSion calle/) the me/)ium, locate/) inS\i/)e the inciphiS\phere.
MC: The me/)ium iS\ fille/) with a bunch of G\ritty baS\tar/)S\ who will meS\S\ with anythinG\ that your S\erver player haS\n't alrea/)y broken.
BI: glub
BI: Zebrek is my server.
BI: Oh Gog I almost forgot about Zebrek. He says he wantse to kill Scalis, and Scalis isn't respondinge to me!
MC: ZEBREK wantS\ to kill S\caliS\?
BI: Somethinge about Scalis killinge Twinkleberry I don't knowe.
BI: I knowe Scalis was shaken since the 'incident' but I didn't think he'd do this.
BI: There bothe my friends sort of. I don't want them to kille eachother!
MC: Crappie, I'll have to talk to both of them when I G\et a chance then.
MC: Um, I've been out of the loop for a while.
MC: What inci/)ent are you talkinG\ about?
MC: On S\econ/) thouG\ht, forG\et it. I /)on't want to know.
BI: You really don't.
BI: If somethinge like that happened to me, Im not sure how I would acte.
BI: I'm going to go talke to Zebrek
BI: Thanke you I guess
MC: You're welcome?
MC: Oh, it'S\ probably worth mentioninG\ that the G\ame can alS\o revive your luS\uS\.
BI: whate
BI: Why
BI: The
BI: I juste opened up my feelingse to you, and NOW you say he isn't deade for good!
MC: Well, you /)i/) S\ay that you wante/) to talk about feelinG\S\ an/) all that.
BI: Well I
BI: But
BI: Bluh!

-- bathorysIllustrator [BI] has ceased trolling melancholicChumly [MC] --

It has left you with many a mixed emotion. As you sit there soaking up the plethora of emotions, he contacts you again.

PLEASE JUST LET IT STOP-- bathorysIllustrator [BI] has ceased trolling melancholicChumly [MC] --

-- melancholicChumly [MC] started trolling batorysIllustrator [BI] --
MC: Hey, bluhinG\ and boltinG\ iS\n't very proper behaviour.
BI: Fine. I'll glub and bolt!
BI: By the way, don't think I've forgotten the crustaceon apology dance.
MC: Oh.
MC: About that.
BI: People have been cullede for failure I'll have you know.
MC: Yeah, I know.
MC: US\e/) to know thiS\ one annoyinG\ fuck who waS\ obS\eS\S\e/) with /)ancinG\.
MC: He'S\ /)ea/) now.
MC: But I wante/) to S\ay S\omethinG\ elS\e.
MC: When I apoloG\ize/) earlier, well it waS\ leS\S\ than S\incere.
MC: I /)i/)n't really think that you were worrie/) about me an/) were tryinG\ to G\uilt me about it.
MC: But that's a stupid thing to think and I'm the scum of Alternia for ever believing that.
MC: Believing that you're responsible for the death of someone you care about is a terrible feeling and
MC: From the bottom of my heart, I am sorry for putting you through that.
MC: I owe you one hell of a dance.
MC: G\warG\, I hate typinG\ like that.
BI: There we go.
BI: Thank you.
BI: For reale this time.
MC: Your very much welcome, FroS\ty FinS\.
MC: Oh, one more thinG\.
MC: G\lub.

-- melancholicChumly [MC] ceased trolling bathorysIllustrator [BI] --

<>? <3? <3<? c3<?

>Stop pondering your emotions and be productive.

You look around and see that Aldurin opened a memo sort of a while ago. You responde to it, and you manage to keep your cool in this discussion.

show pesterlogCURRENT technopathicalAnomaly [TA] RIGHT NOW opened memo URGENT CHANGE OF PLANS on board
CTA: bAd nEws And bAd nEws
CTA: fIrst bAd nEws, thE mEtEOrs wOn't ImpAct tO fIt OUr OrIgInAl sEqUEncE
CTA: sEcOnd bAd nEws, wE'rE cUttIng OUr tEAms In hAlf tO AccOmmOdAtE
CTA: glIssA And rEztEk ArE nOw prOmOtEd tO lEAdIng thE EntrY fOr thE sEcOnd hAlvEs Of thEIr rEspEctIvE tEAMs
CTA: wIth AnY lUck thIs shOUld fIt thE mEtEOrlOgIcAl schEdUle And lEt All Of Us gO In AlIvE
CTA: AlsO If yOU'rE rEAdIng thIs frOm thE fUtUrE gO tEll yOUr dAmn pAst sElvEs thAt thIs Is whAt's hAppEnIng
FUTURE eloquentOrchestrator [EO] ??? HOURS FROM NOW responded to memo
FEO: Shit I musT havE misSed tHis mEmo dUrinG my rCent Memo BingE
FEO: ThesE cloCks aLwayS shoW surPrisE nooDles For mE but Its oNly bEen lIke tWentY minUtes SincE theN
CTA: dAmmIt, wEll At lEAst yOU knOw EvEntUAllY
CTA: glIssA, ArE yOU rEAdIng thIs
FUTURE bathorysIllustrator [FBI] 15 MINUTES FROM NOW responded to memo
FBI: I guesse it won't be too long a gap until I reade it
FBI: Yeah I get it though. I still have time to enter. I won't bother paste me though.
CTA: gOOd, nOw thOsE OthErs thAt mAy sEE thIs jUst nEEd tO fOllOw thE plAn
technopathicalAnomaly [TA] closed memo CHANGE OF PLANS

Finally! You get to be the star! Time to form your own great team!

Now lets see. Caoway already leads his own team, you hate Leraje, Piron is going to be your client, so she's on there team, you haven't heard anything from Iropha or Ballaa, Nasryl is likely afraid to respond, and you sort of give up at this point.

You come to the unfortunate conclusion that you're crack team consists of Gorrma, Zebrek, and Sharl. The chef, the Zebrek, and the merchant. Fuck. They'll have to suffice though... for now.

SHOW LOG-- bathorysIllustrator [BI] has begun pestering [deepskyblue]spectacularHellion [SH][/color] --

BI: Well hello Zebrek
BI: Goode news.
BI: For you at leaste
BI: The game is goinge to be sped up. So we will connect soon. Here's our memo. Follow the linke.
BI:
BI: Also, can we talk aboute Scalis later? Once we have bothe entered?

SHOW LOG-- bathorysIllustrator [BI] has begun pestering omnipotentOmnivore [OO] --

BI: Greetingse Gorrma.
BI: I am sorry to hear of your losse. I believe we all are.
BI: However, there is apparently a change in plans. We are splitting into four groups of four temporarily. Once I am in, I trust you can helpe Zebrek in. After that Sharl may helpe you.
BI: Here is the link to our memo
BI: Be ready.
BI:

SHOW LOG-- bathorysIllustrator [BI] has begun pestering butketHed [BH] --

BI: You're trollhandle physically hurte to type just now.
BI: I'm running oute of optionse though.
BI: So congrats, you were chosen laste in this game of Alternian Doom Dodgeball.
BI: Here is our memo, be ready to link up with Gorrma once she gets Zebrek in. Then I thinke you loop back arounde to Caoway.
BI:

>Glissa: Open Memo

SHOW MEMOCURRENT bathorysIllustrator [CBI] has opened a memo on board WHEN NO ONE EXPECTS IT

CBI: The apocalypse is now people. The ende is nigh.
CBI: I volunteer myself to go first.
CBI: In moments, me and Zebrek will connect and I'll hopefully enter this "medium" thing the otherse describe.
CBI: Reportedly, we can also revive our lussi.
CBI: Gorrma, Sharl, get your affairs in order and prepare to move out as welle.