My Lead Airbag is 39 years old. Not really, but he didn't specify in his profile. He was born in a Norwegian convent to Sister Janice on the rainiest day of the year- July 18. His parents were loving, though he sometimes felt a little sheltered. They provided for him the best they could, but it was never enough. My Lead Airbag had greater ambitions. Unlike his father, he did not want to work for the mounted postal delivery service. Based upon his writing style, it is evident he has a sister. They get along for the most part, but still engage in the occasional spat. Sometimes he feels like his parents care for her slightly more, which has led to issues of insecurity, which he compensates for by surrounding himself with a shield of false confidence. His interest in clowns, as denoted by his avatar, supports the mask theory. Online (wearing the "clown suit"), he is outgoing and humorous, but offline, he feels anxious at carnivals. He graduated in the top 50% of his class. His addiction to furniture shopping, which occurred in the later stages of his life, has led to credit problems and run ins with the police. After enrolling in a state university in Florida, he chose to study journalism, but later switched his major to organic chemistry. He worked for a large pharmaceutical company, but was recently fired for stealing an office chair from the employee lounge. He served a five and a half year tour in the Coast Guard before suffering a massive stubbed toe that resulted in a medical discharge.
It's clear from his posts that at age twelve he wanted to be a cosmonaut, but was rejected due to flat feet. After a strict training regimen in a gymnasium in Shanghai, he became a flyer and thrower for his highschool cheerleading squad. He was dubbed "Mr. Basket Toss" and "Luckiest Man Alive" by Time magazine and Vogue.
Until the nuclear fallout of 2003. It was then that things spiralled out of control. He left home to claim his steak in the world... er, stake his claim in the world... and ended up strung out on cupcakes and ginger cake. And steak.
After analyzing his name, it is evident that he likes Radiohead. After utilizing numerology, etymology, genealogy, and cosmetology, it becomes blatantly clear that My Lead Airbag likes tacos and other Mexican foods. He also enjoys reading children's books such as Where's Waldo and I Spy. He pens romance novels under the pseudonym Victor Rasputin and occasionally indulges in bon bons. Then again, who doesn't?
His favorite type of Ice Cream is Ben and Jerry's "Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough," because it's representative of childhood events that occurred in his early thirties. He types using only his index fingers (even for the space bar) and taught himself trigonometry at the tender age of two. He puts his ketchup in the fridge and hates mustard. His favorite snack food is graham crackers and peanut butter, because it's a metaphor for life.
Just going out on a limb here.
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