[Aeria]

This poem is called "The Apology"... I hope you can feel its emotion, as I do... Sorry it's a little long...

The road ahead is long and hard, and I am now alone,
So farewell now to days before, and sins I can't atone.
Mayhaps hence I shall look back upon these dreary days,
As now I look on days long gone, with soft and teary gaze.

But now my will and knees feel weak, I stumble to the ground,
I falter here, where once I stood, now sad and wretched mound.
I once could stand and once could fight against the unjust foe,
But now I do submit my will, you've won and now I'll go...

When I lost it I know not, the same for where I'll find,
That part of me that I have lost, I've lost part of my mind...
I know just that where I now stand, where I am right now,
Marks the place from where I'll start anew but know not how.

All I ask before I go, of you whom I have hurt,
Of you for which I've cried such tears, and now lie in the dirt,
Is that you help my first steps here, it is so hard to walk,
My feet are sore, my mouth is parched, it's hard for me to talk.

What time that seems so long ago, began this horrid act,
That causes me and you such pain, and has my honor cracked?
Once upon a time there was a shield protecting you,
Innocence by name it took, it blanketed me too.

But I was witness as you were, as one by one we lost,
That which gave us shelter here, a line we now had crossed.
I was last to lose it though, but it turned out far the worse,
My hands now seem deep stained with blood, my soul now feels cursed.

I praised myself, and highly too, for being who I was,
But now I know that I knew not, and many were me flaws.
I'm sorry to those who I left behind, and I'm sorry to you too,
Whom I on purpose left behind, though I think those very few.

Know this though, I say these words, perhaps they'll bring you peace,
I have lost that part of me, that made me such a beast.
But what event, be great or small, that marked the start of this?
The answer's lost in flows of time, and shrouded in a mist.

I see there was no single thing for which I am to blame,
There was a chain of circumstance that ruined my fine name.
Each time I was given choice, I chose a crooked way,
I meant to help but hurt instead, and left myself to pay.

As I chose, my despair grew, till finally I stood,
To see myself for the first time, and see there was no good.
In every way I had failed, my heart as black as coal,
A thief of darkness and the night, stealing my own soul.

Be at peace, whom I called friend, I shall trouble you no more,
No more shall I plague your life, you're free now you can soar.
Know this though, that when I said to you I pledge my heart,
The truth I told, I meant that more than can be said in art.

Mother, Father, Brother dear, Sister whom I trust,
The times we had were full of lies, my words meant less than dust.
I can't believe I could trust so much, then betray so readily,
Worry not for now I'm gone, and you are rid of me.

Baby child, there are no words, perhaps some other time,
You'll hear the tale of all my deeds, of all my heinous crimes.
I pray you try to understand, I tried my very best,
But that was not enough at all, I still failed life's great test.

To the rest of you, my time grows short, I wish I had much more,
Then I'd say a million things, before going through this door.
You all have meant so much to me, but I'm sure you want me gone,
It is strange to think that I once believed in something so very wrong...

I trusted you but could not keep trust, I'm going now, goodbye!
I do not know what future holds for me except to die.
For you I know, forever more I shall be gone at last,
Your lives are purged, the evil gone that plagued you in the past.

So filled with shame, I take first steps into this awful night,
The wind roars loud, wolves howl sad, thunder instills fright.
It rolls and booms, like angry drums, giving rythm to my stride,
I know not how much longer here I can myself abide.

I sought myself, to prove my worth, wished to be the best,
But I was not a hero born, and was worse than all the rest.
The road ahead is long and hard, and I am now alone,
So farewell now to days before, and sins I can't atone.