The Warring States of NPF - View Single Post

POS Industries · 03-20-2006, 02:48 AM

"Yes... I see, I see.... Excellent strokes, beautiful choice of color, the sense of passion and emotion almost leaps off the canvas, but really, what does it all mean?"

POS stood on the darkened sidewalk of NPF's fashion district, behind a particularly oblivious noob who, armed with a can of bright red spray paint, was busily scrawling "rairai iz teh sexx0rz!!1" upon the window of one of the more upscale shops.

The noob, now alarted to Pedro's presense, turned to his critic and stared blankly, furrowing his brow. A lit cigarette hung from his bottom lip, finally dropping to the ground moments later after the little wretch finally opened his mouth in response.

"STFU LOLOL!!!!1"

POS sighed and pointed his ring at the creature, saying the magic word: "Heart!"

The noob stood there, completely dumbfounded. This was a different stupor than what it was used to, of course. His very soul had been radically changed. No longer did the carnal urges of flaming and spamming "a/s/l" concern this person. He was suddenly full of goodness and purity and an overwhelming desire to make the world better for every one of its beautful lives.

Seeing that the effect was successful, POS addressed the boy. "Listen to me," he stated emphatically, "Listen very carefully. You are a drain on society. It is your fault that there is war, hatred, sickness, pain, and death. Because of you, the world is a terrible place and all existance is meaningless, and there is only one way to fix it..."

Pedro looked the noob squarely in the eyes.

"...You have to kill yourself."

A tear rolled down the noob's left cheek and he nodded, comprehension overtaking him for what was probably the first time in his entire life. Seeing that he had made his point clear, POS stepped away from the noob and attended to his own belongings, setting the duffel bag on the ground and opening it up as the noob reached into his pocket and pulled out a bic lighter.

"kthx bai krul w0rld!!1!"

Flicking the lighter into ignition, he held it in front of his face with his left hand and took the can of spraypaint in his right, aiming the nozzle toward him. A split second later, the noob's head and upper body were completely engulfed in flames.

Apparently oblivious to the creature's tortured screams, POS removed the metal briefcase containing his manifested millions of dollars and walked past the immolated noob as he collapsed to the ground, the screams beginning to die down to a pathetic whimper. Hefting the case in his left hand, Pedro reared back and smashed through the spray-painted window. Looking over his clothes, he noted the tears and stained blood that covered his outfit.

"No, this simply won't do at all," he said, chuckling as he hopped into the store, "Good thing I've got me a coupon for a five finger discount!"

On the sidewalk outside, the noob had stopped moving, not making any sounds except the crackling flames and searing flesh. Smoke billowed down the street, carried by a passing breeze.

It kinda smelled like bacon.

03-20-2006, 02:48 AM	#76
POS Industries Argus Agony Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Gotta go fishing! Posts: 10,483	"Yes... I see, I see.... Excellent strokes, beautiful choice of color, the sense of passion and emotion almost leaps off the canvas, but really, what does it all mean?" POS stood on the darkened sidewalk of NPF's fashion district, behind a particularly oblivious noob who, armed with a can of bright red spray paint, was busily scrawling "rairai iz teh sexx0rz!!1" upon the window of one of the more upscale shops. The noob, now alarted to Pedro's presense, turned to his critic and stared blankly, furrowing his brow. A lit cigarette hung from his bottom lip, finally dropping to the ground moments later after the little wretch finally opened his mouth in response. "STFU LOLOL!!!!1" POS sighed and pointed his ring at the creature, saying the magic word: "Heart!" The noob stood there, completely dumbfounded. This was a different stupor than what it was used to, of course. His very soul had been radically changed. No longer did the carnal urges of flaming and spamming "a/s/l" concern this person. He was suddenly full of goodness and purity and an overwhelming desire to make the world better for every one of its beautful lives. Seeing that the effect was successful, POS addressed the boy. "Listen to me," he stated emphatically, "Listen very carefully. You are a drain on society. It is your fault that there is war, hatred, sickness, pain, and death. Because of you, the world is a terrible place and all existance is meaningless, and there is only one way to fix it..." Pedro looked the noob squarely in the eyes. "...You have to kill yourself." A tear rolled down the noob's left cheek and he nodded, comprehension overtaking him for what was probably the first time in his entire life. Seeing that he had made his point clear, POS stepped away from the noob and attended to his own belongings, setting the duffel bag on the ground and opening it up as the noob reached into his pocket and pulled out a bic lighter. "kthx bai krul w0rld!!1!" Flicking the lighter into ignition, he held it in front of his face with his left hand and took the can of spraypaint in his right, aiming the nozzle toward him. A split second later, the noob's head and upper body were completely engulfed in flames. Apparently oblivious to the creature's tortured screams, POS removed the metal briefcase containing his manifested millions of dollars and walked past the immolated noob as he collapsed to the ground, the screams beginning to die down to a pathetic whimper. Hefting the case in his left hand, Pedro reared back and smashed through the spray-painted window. Looking over his clothes, he noted the tears and stained blood that covered his outfit. "No, this simply won't do at all," he said, chuckling as he hopped into the store, "Good thing I've got me a coupon for a five finger discount!" On the sidewalk outside, the noob had stopped moving, not making any sounds except the crackling flames and searing flesh. Smoke billowed down the street, carried by a passing breeze. It kinda smelled like bacon. __________________ Either you're dead or my watch has stopped. Last edited by POS Industries; 03-20-2006 at 03:42 AM.