When we last left our heroes, they were performing a co-ordinated attack on an unsuspecting village that may or may not hold some sort of vague mythical creature!
Yes, we totally do. Mythical creature, remember?
The dog takes offense to this and charges. And so we get our first look at the battle screen of Final Fantasy 6!
Wedge goes first, being the ace starfighter pilot that he is. Magitek? That's new.
Basic abilities. That sounds boring. Let's just pick one out of the air.
Holy shit.
The dog is down for the count. The owner runs and our heroes give chase but are unable to get through a fucking roadway due to the massive size of their giant robots.
Why they don't just Fire Beam those barrels out of existence escapes me.
Oh well. Back to the main road we go. DESTROY!
Some more guys! They charge, ignoring the fact that they're 1) outnumbered, 2) outgunned, and 3) weaker than the dog I just wiped out.
Let's try more magitek abilities.
Ice beam. Neato.
Thunder Beam. Also neato. But there's not a huge difference, and Fire Beam is the first choice, so we'll stick with that one.
Onward and upward.
PETA would be ashamed.
Our as-of-yet-unnamed witch has taken some damage. Time to try out the fourth magitek, Healing Force. Sounds fancy.
It isn't.
The witch's turn finally comes up. She's got magic, but it costs magic points, and we've got Fire Beam anyway, so why bother? Just open up the Magitek menu and...
...whoa...
She's got a few more options at her disposal. This one looks fun.
"Holy shit. Was that a missile?"
"I think it was."
"...What do we do?"
"...I dunno."
They flip a coin and it lands on "Stupid". Honestly, I know they're protecting their town, but why are they so intent on these suicidal tactics? The line between bravery and stupidity isn't all that fine sometimes.
Bio Blast? Sounds neat.
Fire Beam has been left in the dust. Biggs and Wedge are useless wingmen.
...You get it. This continues for a while. I'm not going to post every single screenshot of every single random battle.
Lots of Narshe soldiers get their asses handed to them. What a waste of life...
Fuckin' finally! The esper (if it does indeed exist) is in this cave.
Well. A gate. Are we supposed to go on a key-hunt or something? Because that would really suck.
Nope. Biggs finds that about as tempting as I do.
He casually walks through the door. Take a note, Gordon Freeman, with your rocket launcher, crowbar, gravity gun and inability to bypass a wooden door.
IT'S A TRAP!
"Fire beam?" "Yep."
Because that's where it stores its lightning. Sure.
This was a magitek missile but I accidentally missed the screenshot opportunity. Sorry.
Suffice to say that this thing lasts about 2 turns.
Easiest boss fight ever.
Hey! A frozen thing! The plot thickens!
Are espers birds? I guess so. The plot further thickens!
The plot solidifies. It looks like another boss battle!
Whaddya know! It IS an esper! Looks like the rumours were true. The ends justify the means, just like always!
"Fido... my best friend... why did you have to die? ...I'm all alone..."
Yep. The means are totally justified.
Fire beam time!
...What? Yeah, sure. Shut up. Fire beam.
I know. The menu disappears when you talk. So stop it.
GOD DAMMIT. She didn't even SAY anything and she said something.
...
..........
I fucking told you so.
Can I have my menu back now?
Please? A little Healing Force could clear this right up.
...What the fuck.
...The old man watches her as she sleeps.
That's not creepy at all.
"...You weren't faking it, were you? Because I was just trying to give you CPR, I swea-"
"...That's not the usual response."
"The others. And not me. Because I don't do that sort of thing, ever."
"...Anything?
"
"I'll be waiting right here. Whenever you're ready."
Thanks to the gracious input of our own Regulus Tera...
Nothing needs to be said here.
Dogs! And they want revenge!
"They promised cake to the people who got to her first!"
So THAT was their motivation.
"YOU HEAR THAT, JERKASSES? THE CAKE WAS A FUCKING LIE!!"
".............NO U"
"Damn!"
And with one last slap on the behind, she's off on her way through his well-hidden secret passage. She'll never get caught, especially because he's buying her time.
What the fuck.
Bitch runs into the cave, only to run into a RANDOM BATTLE! Can you say "Fire Beam"?
...Shit. I guess not. So that robot armour was good for something.
Let's just attack then.
Attacking STILL kills them in one hit. There's witch power for you- wait, correction. There's BITCH power for you. Nice name, RT.
And so we reach our first save point worth using. It's as good a time as any to stop here.
Sorry about the image sizes again. I swear that I'll have them bigger next time - either I'll find a way to streamline the editing process or
I Bigmac will do it the old fashioned way.
Oh, and just before we go... another naming opportunity is coming up. Get ready.
My suggestion:
RT is banned from naming characters for this update. We'll see about later on.