LAST EPISODE:
Empire attacks Doma. Leo in charge. Empire BITES. Leo leaves. Kefka gets dangerous.
THIS EPISODE:
Well, you'll just have to wait and see! (Spoiler: Everyone in Doma dies except like, 2 people.)
And... GO.
The heroes take a heroic step into the light to say bad things to this creepy clown man!
Okay, WOW. I didn't expect that. If I hadn't levelled up like crazy this guy might have actually been a threat.
But he isn't.
...Umm, okay, I'm pretty sure this picture originally said "AHNULD: Wait, Kefka!"
Not sure why it didn't show up.
No, you look like a showgirl.
"His name was Kefka, he was a showgirl, with yellow feathers in his hair and a dress cut down to there...."
We chase him through a field of robots.
Kefka's legs are designed for dancing, not running.
We have to fight him again.
Speaking of which, AHNULD has learned some new Blitz techniques, and Big Mac keeps bugging me to use this one.
Rising Phoenix, in which AHNULD clones himself a bunch of times, lights them on fire, and throws them at people!
I don't use it all that often because it sucks.
It's still enough to make Kefka run away, though.
When he says "next time", he isn't implying that he's going to fight again anytime soon.
I'm still mystified as to how this guy managed to split into 4 people... maybe he's a monk, too?
That doesn't explain why they aren't on fire though.
By the way, Razor Wind is like 3 billion times better than Rising Phoenix.
While we're busy with those guys, Kefka gets up to his nefarious tricks again.
Somewhere in the galaxy, Obi-Wan Kenobi gets a massive headache.
How is it that he managed to turn the entire river purple? Maybe it's like one of those bath thingies that changes the water colour... Bath Beads, or something? They also tend to make the water smell nice. So Kefka's just sprucing up the landscape.
Except, oh right, the bath beads are poisonous.
"It's pretty cool, actually. There are all these flaming bodies everywhere."
"That smell... no!"
"AROMATHERAPYYYYYyyyyyyyyyyyyy...." *thump*
"Some kind of... airborne death Kool-aid!"
"We agreed on no chemical warfare!"
Quest Accepted!
...Crap.
Quest Accepted!
Quest Failed.
Quest Failed.
...Baby killing? Isn't that a little... mature for this kind of game?
"And soon to be DESTROYER OF WORLDS!"
I love how they're freaking out more due to the appearance of this one random guy than the group - including a ninja - attacking their GENERAL.
"Hey, what's up?"
...Jerk.
By the way, Silly's got another special thing: sometimes, when an enemy attacks him, his dog absorbs the attack and fights back. It's pretty rare, though.
And with good reason.
Mr. Thou promptly runs off to fight more fodder. I guess he's just bored. Oh well, let's leave him to his own devices.
The water appears to have returned to normal.
...By the way, why did everybody in the castle die EXCEPT Thou and the guy he was talking to?
Whatever. Let's leave the camp.
...I can't.
Oh! Maybe Thou is having this problem as well!
After some short fights...
Stop whining!
This is going to get old fast if we don't do something.
Oh, right! The armoured suits!
"Sir Ahhhnuuuuuld.... I don't wanna ride the robot..."
"Sir Ahhhhnuuuuuld!"
"Sir Ahhhhhhnuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuld!!!!!! I can't control my robot!!!!"
"Sir Ahhhhhnuuuuld! I'm going the wrong way!"
Rather than sort him out, we just follow him.
Oh no! Enemies.
Well, guess what?
I'M IN A FUCKING ROBOT AGAIN!!!
BEOTCH!
...Though I gotta say, Fire Beam has lost its appeal now that I do as much damage normally as it does.
Also... Ifrit goo. Eww.
"You don't necessarily have to come with me."
Nothing Thou has to say is important at all.
Goodbye, random stretch of sand in the middle of nowhere!
Wait! Silly!
...What the hell?! That dickhole! He just left!
...What am I going to do with all these shurikens now...?
Here's the forest Thou was talking about.
I'm sure there's nothing suspicious about it at all.
See? A health pond!
...A stagnant health pond, but a functional one nonetheless!
Further into the forest...
...what the hell?
"They got all gummed up with soldiers throwing themselves at them."
...Survivors? I'm pretty sure this forest is far enough away from the poison gas thingy that nobody was affected. I'm pretty sure AHNULD just loves trains.
"Train, train, take us away... take us away, far away..."
"Sir Ahhhhhnuuuuld! This train is eeeeeviiiiil!"
1) How does Thou know it's the Phantom Train?
2) WHY DID HE WAIT UNTIL THEY GOT ON THE TRAIN?!
Why not, I dunno, jump over the railing?
"As much as I love train rides - and I do..."
"We're gonna have to blow it up."
Ghost train is full of ghosts.
Some of them are friendly, some of them not so much.
..."Howdy Folks"?
I think there's a chance I may need an extra one of these sometime up ahead.
Some ghosts join you by the way.
Others fight you!
I now present to you... Thou's best Bushido! (It's only number 4, but still...)
Quatro Slash Flurry!
He beats up the ghosts with extreme prejudice and would do the same to everyone else.
I love the random flashes of light, too.
I don't know, AHNULD. I just don't know.
Will our heroes get off the stupid train? Will Thou stop his goddamned whining? Will we FINALLY meet Gau in the next episode?
The answer to all of these is "Probably"!
...Eh, why the hell not.