Alright! Chapter 10! This is an epic milestone. DOUBLE DIGITS FOR THE WIN!
And in celebration you get a filler arc. Nothing I can do about it.
"Me AHNULD and Thou. Who you?"
"Thou? Me You!"
And so continues the "who's on first" until You runs off in an ADHD-inspired rage.
Alright, so there appears to be a city to the right and a little bit down, according to the minimap.
A random battle... wait, why the hell are there imperial soldiers in this generic, vaguely African environment?
Strange.
Even stranger, after beating them to 4 individual pulps, this guy reappears! Ta-da!
He's the most entertaining CG character since Jar-Jar Binks.
Aww, the little guy's hungry!
Unfortunately, we don't have any spare food to give him.
Maybe we should go buy some.
"Thanks for noticing."
Of course, he knows not to take food from strangers...
Another random battle, this time with cave monsters of all things. Why, if I didn't know better, I'd say that this landscape contains
every kind of monster I've ever encountered!
Anyway, we finally reach town.
...Are you saying that Baron Falls was once a major transportation and/or travel route? That perhaps there was once an "Up" escalator?
Oh well. Let's go on and see if everyone else in town is as batshit as this guy.
Well, this guy isn't crazy, but he's from another town, so maybe that's his excuse.
This is an interesting mental image.
Lad: "You're going to THROW YOURSELVES AT THE CASTLE?!"
Guard 2: "Yeah, it's foolproof!"
Guard 1: "Kefka told us to do it, and he's a genius!"
Lad: "It's a stupid idea!"
Guard 1: "We'll teach you to make fun of our plans!"
Guard 7: "Get'im!"
And then came the angry mob.
He makes a vague reference to a side-quest we won't be able to do for quite some time. Whatever, he's boring.
Other than that, the only thing of interest in this town is this:
They're hidden behind the text box. They're just standing there, staring at each other. In fact, if you talk to them, they just say "...".
...Just thought I'd point that out for no reason.
We pick up some food at the item shop because YOU IZ SO CUUUUTE.
He's so happy that he jumps three times his height repeatedly for a little while.
He runs around a bit, too.
AHNULD: "Get the hell on with it!"
Greedy sonofa...
He's going to... help himself?
Due to the fact that these are 16 bit sprites, you can't tell whether AHNULD is actually offering him something, or whether it is a vague threat.
This doesn't clear anything up.
...
This is the most pointless fucking cutscene in the history of mankind.
I'm pretty sure you guys are intentionally trying to confuse me with the naming scheme. Is this a trivia question, or what? I don't get it.
Okay this is actually starting to increase my blood pressure. I'm beginning to sense a Teletubby-esque pattern.
I'm angry.
I'm angry at you.
He actually does this, I kid you not, 3 more times, while moving to slightly different positions, before something else happens.
Again, WHO IS HE TALKING ABOUT?!
Thou understands my point of view, I think.
"We have basically the same name! We could be best buds!"
Plot development?! YES IT'S FINALLY OVER
WOOHOO
Just tell us where the fuck it IS. :stressed:
Crescent mountain. Vaguely southward.
AHNULD shares my feelings. You is so annoying and pointlessly hyperactive.
An excerpt from a part of the 15-minute cutscene I skipped:
Look! He's just... spinning! He spins in place for no reason! What the hell!
Okay I gotta hurry up and continue before I fucking lose my temper. This is the worst part of the whole game.
Crescent Mountain. Find shiny thing there. Will help story. Got it.
Anyway, this is how You works:
In battle, he uses Rages. Rages are basically monster movesets. While on the Veldt, which is the name of this area of land, he can "Leap" in battle to acquire more movesets. Any monsters beaten while You is leaping will be added to his repertoire.
Oh, and when you select a rage, that's the only thing you can tell him to do for the rest of the battle. Everything else is automatic. Because this kid is fucking uncontrollable.
It's kinda funny what he says when he comes back though.
Excuse me for losing my temper at the end. Are 3 distinct screens really necessary for You to return though? All he needs to say really is "Yo." and then rejoin.
But noooo. "You your friend! Frieeeeeeend!!!!"
I fucking hate You. Did You know that?
That said, some rages are pretty powerful.
This is the Stray Cat rage.
"An ocelot never lets his prey escape! Rawr! :3"
Oh, goddammit! Why didn't you guys name him Ocelot?
Arriving at Crescent Mountain station. Ding.
Oh crap! It's the top third of a Big Daddy! Run for your lives!
Yeah. With a heartless abomination of flesh and steam living inside that will rip your organs out if you so much as glance at it wrong.
...Maybe it's not a Big Daddy.
That's useful. There are rapids up ahead that lead directly to a ferry bound for South Figaro.
But... there's only one shiny thing. And it has no oxygen tank. How would it allow all 3 of them to breathe underwater?
...None of them are taking it into consideration...
"And hey, we'll have an unlimited supply of oxygen for all of us! Right?"
This is the worst plan ever.
You just realized that they were planning on jumping in.
You doesn't like water.
...You doesn't like water?
Oh my god, guys. This is the best plan ever.
And they jump in without putting on the oxygen helmet.
"For the record, You thinks this is a VERY BAD IDEA. Uwaoo~."
The trip went fine.
Here's another useless filler town. Only two things interest me here, and they're both in the pub.
Daaaaayum.
AHNULD: "Hey, guys. I think we should ask her to join The Returners."
"Thou reminds me of my brother..."
An old lady stops us before we leave so that she can tie up a plot thread.
...So it's YOUR FAULT that we're stuck with this goddamned jerkwad?! :stressed:
(For the record, a problem birth is almost never anybody's fault. I just feel like blaming somebody.)
We'd better leave before the guards find the body.
Hurray!
"Let's not think about it any more for now."
...Wait, isn't South Figaro occupied by imperial troops?
And so we reach an impasse.
Should've planned for this ahead of time...
So yes, your options are Cocke's daring escape from South Figaro and the rest of the peoples' boring walk from somewhere useless to Narche.
Voting starts NAO!
...Also, if you guys really want, I could always rename You to Ocelot...
